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165,299 I'm still wearing the smile you gave me.

xo



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165,298 I licked my wife's pussy tonight right after she peed. I walked into the bathroom and she was peeing. When done, she noticed there was no more toilet paper on the roll. She asked if I could go into the hall closet and get some. I said don't worry, I can take care of that for you. I spread her legs and leaned her back on the seat and licked her pussy. Very salty. Very sexy. Marriage is a good invention.



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165,297 He is not even American, he is CANADIAN!!!!  And the republicans are the same people who are still searching for Obama's birth certificate, right?!



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165,296 IN my next birth , God pls give me a caring mother. Not a bitch who says 'Nobody wants you to come to my home. I don't come to your because of you , but for your daughter." Bitch, I hate you! I have always hated you! You and your son can both rot in hell. Creepy assholes!



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165,295 Personally speaking, I find the most attractive pubic hair design is a narrow landing strip about two inches long extending down to the top of my clit. My labia and lower region are also waxed hairless. It's clean looking, delicate and feminine, without conjuring up disturbing imagery of a bare prepubescent little girl.



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165,294 I don't know where I will go but I can't wait to stop living with you when our lease is over.



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165,293 My boyfriend gets offended when I ask him to come to my place.  Oh dear, 15 minutes by bus? That sound awful. Specially when I take that same fucking bus every day to go to your place.

I was offering sex. Hell, I've been offering sex for the past 2 months. He always finds an excuse. But if the sex is a quickie at his place, sure. Actual intimate, long, passionate sex - no, always has something better to do. Quickie - sure, he cums and I don't.

Very fucking romantic.



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165,292 My fantasy -- to strip my wife naked, blindfold her, gag her and tie her up. I'd position her in the front hallway with the front door wide open. Then I'd go out for a few hours leaving her there helpless and exposed. Bonus would be to come home and see cum dripping out of her pussy.



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165,291 What if Jesus had an iPhone? Could you imagine! I'd definitely follow him on Twitter.



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165,290 Spanish guy? While I agree with most of your post, I wouldn't label the guy as a "spanish" guy. He is not a spanierd ., whether you like or not he is an American he was born and raised in the USA not Spain. Secondly, his mother is not a Spaniard either, she is Mexican. She was born and raised there . And no I don't want him in the white house either or anyone who gets into politics just because their parents and family are part of it.



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165,289 I did something really stupid once. I was at my brother in law's house for Thanksgiving. He's married to his second wife. This was this first time I was meeting her. She's very pretty.

I think my brother in law wanted to impress me. He told me how he takes naked pictures of her and posts them online and she gets great compliments.

Okay, I wasn't quite expecting that information. He went on to tell me the name of the website. Like what, I should go look at the pictures? He wants me to see his wife naked?  I tried to play it cool. But honestly that threw my head into a spin.

I'm not a prude. Of course I'd like to see her naked. But was it appropriate? I do have some moral lines drawn in the sand. I wish he had never told me.

Anyway, during dinner, I said something stupid. Someone mentioned how pretty his wife is. I blurted out how there are naked picture of her online.

For Christ sakes, her father and mother were sitting at the table. They looked at me like WTF? And my brother in law looked at me with daggers in his eyes, like why the fuck did you just tell everyone that secret?

I feel like such a foot-in-the-mouth ass.  I don't know why I said it. It's like someone who laughs at a funeral. I just couldn't get my head around it. It was completely inappropriate for me to mention it.

You know, he's never invited us back to his home. I've seen him at a few other family functions, but he ignores me.  Shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone.



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165,288 What I wouldn't give for my husband to be romantic. To initiate sex. To tell me I'm sexy.
I don't think I've felt sexy in a long time.
Strangers compliment me more than he does.



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165,287 I just realized he's never gonna call me back...I basically told him he can't get girls, that he's the oldest guy I've been with, and that I've slept with more people than him! What kind of impression is that? I wish he would realize that I think him being older is sexy as hell and that him being with less people isn't something to be ashamed of! Damn girl, foot in mouth...



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165,286 We had a President who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Then we had a President with no qualifications except that he was the son of a President. That was followed by a black man as President. He was voted in not in spite of the fact he was black, but because of the fact he was black. That was his qualification, he was black.

Next we will have a woman who was married to a President. Or a Spanish man, just because he is Spanish. Or the nephew of a President.

Can't you see it America? You put no effort into choosing a person who is qualified. Instead you choose someone who's easy, someone you've heard of before, even if you've heard of them for all the wrong reasons.

You bring this on yourself America. You deserve what you get.



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165,285 I wake up this morning to a beautiful spring day. I turn to my wife and say, "Why don't I skip work and stay home. We can hang out. You can laze in bed. I'll make a bounty for breakfast. We can do the crossword puzzle together. Then I'll bathe you in the tub. Afterwards I'll lay you in the bed surrounded by fluffy pillows we can do something we haven't done in forever..."

Her response, "What? Are you kidding me? I have laundry to do. I have to go food shopping. My nails are a mess, I need a manicure!"

I'm writing this from work...



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165,284 I fucked two different guys last weekend, 2 days in a row! The first one was this amazing older guy and he made me cum so quickly, he has a nice ass and an overall muscular physique. The second guy was totally different, younger, lives with his parents and is probably gay. I really regret fucking the 2nd one but hey, anything's better than screwing my ex! Plus I like the way the older guy grabbed my face and forced his cock in my mouth ;) I had so much fun riding him I can't wait to jump on it again! But you know what they say, can't come on too strong or he'll run away



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165,283 Gay guy kept hitting on me at the bar a few months ago. I told him I wasn't gay, but he kept going. Hell, I don't mind. I find it flattering. Turns out we both like hockey, so I invited him and his boyfriend over to a party I'm holding. My friends aren't okay with homosexuality. I've never really cared for it either, but it doesn't bother me in the way it bothers them. They hate it. I don't see anything wrong with it. I assured them to just be themselves, and if anyone gives them trouble, to come to me and that I would handle it.

So when these two guys walk in, holding hands, the room gets silent. I mean, dead silent. The two guys look at me like they're about to leave, and I smile and tell them to grab a seat. I go in the kitchen and grab some beer, walked up to every one of my friends and handed them one, then said "Leave the politics at the door, yeah? Let's watch some hockey."

Through-out the night some people left early, and I never herd from them again. I didn't care much for them though. A good friend of mine called me a faggot and told all my friends I was a faggot, that kind of hurt considering how long we've known each other. Overall it was a very eye-opening experience, but I managed to weed out the bad friends and see who the true ones are. I still hold my hockey party, and I still invite my two favorite gay people over to watch, and we all end up having a great time, regardless of our political differences. Once we walk into that room, nobody is gay or straight, male or female. We're just a group of drinking hockey fanatics, rooting on the team and jumping in joy.

I want the world to always be like this. I wish everybody could feel this free.



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165,282 People suck.



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165,281 True story: In college I had a girl and her friend come up to me at a party while I lived in a fraternity and said she thought I was her type. I was a little shocked but played it cool while we talked and got to know each another. After a while she and her friend started laughing but I didn't get the joke when said she was just kidding the whole time and one of my frat brother's put her up to it to come and talk with me. Of course it was legendary and I was a monster laughing stock so I quit the frat. Shw broke me in a way that could never be fixed.  
. The hardest part was when they were laughing. I thought they had a funny joke going on and when I realized they was laughing AT me, that was soul crushing. That was realty the only time a girl ever came out of nowhere to talk to me. I thought I was an atttractive person for about five minutes of my life. I'll never forget the overwhelming cruelty and realization of how delusional I was to think I had a chance with girls. I didnt think I was that ugly. They were laughing out loud in my face. Out loud. The situation was genuinely funny to them. I have never had confidence in myself ever since.  



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165,280 I have been to nude beaches many times.  Though I enjoy the view, I got caught staring today.  Damn, that granny had a huge clit ring with a diamond on it.  She got down to do yoga, I caught a sparkle out of the corner of my eye 20 feet away and bam, I was transfixed... aaand busted.  She waved at me, discreetly covered up her pussy and continued with her yoga.

Ugh, I feel like a jerk but I swear, it was the gem that made me stare in the first place!

M/40



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165,279 It's a lonely life when you're the only honest person in the room.



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165,278 I'm on the verge on being thrown out of my house in a week and I can't seem to care I don't want to grow up not saying I don't want to work I'll take any job as long as I'm happy but going out alone into the world no family behind you supporting you no one to love and hold... It scares the hell out of me to the point I'd rather end my life a be a guardian angel to my family so i can protect them and watch over them from above or maybe that's just an easy fix and a self righteous solution to my problem....fuck



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165,277 Kyle,
  I did not come with you back to your place. I have a multitude of reasons. I just met you and the drunk make out session isn't something I do. I also wanted to see if you were the gentleman you claimed to be
If you couldn't respect my boundaries day one how could I expect any more than disrespect from then on.
   You asked what I want in a man. It is something I have pondered on for weeks on end. I did tell you I am looking for a poet. But here is the full list.

I want a man who is affectionate. This affection has to be both displayed physically and felt emotionally. I want him to be captivated. I want to know that I am on his mind because the truth of the matter is that is how I love. I am an affectionate woman and you will feel my love on your flesh, see in my eyes, hear it in the words I speak. I spoil my muse. And I expect to be his muse.
One can not just get lost in the intimacy that is the bearing of my soul to your soul. We have to participate in the world around us as well because my sons deserve me to hold it together. They deserve a mother that works for a living and my muse better understand that I do not care for his money but he better handle his own damn bills because I handle mine. I do not deserve to be taken advantage of because a boy playing pretend can't get off of his ass long enough to become a man.
My muse has to comprehend the fact that my best friend is a man. I call him brother because he is such to me. But he is not my muse and is no concern of yours. If you wish to be his friend I wish you great fortune because he is difficult to befriend but well worth the effort.
I am a poet and a nerd. I ramble off useless data that gets me excited because it is ingrained into my persona.
I am a kinky lover. I have had threesomes with two men. I have had threesomes with just women. I enjoy BDSM. I can't tell you how often I have told men this only to have them state that they like me but can't handle my kinks.
I do want to see you again. I just hope you can understand when you cross the line why I cross you off my list of could have beens. Because I want to be there for the right man.



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165,276 The more I travel the more I see how broken this country has become.  Our priorities have shifted in such a way that almost no one can live a happy, full filled, healthy (mentally and physically), and financially stable life.  You have to pick one, maybe two, of those things.  

I used to want to move to London.  Now I just want to live almost anywhere other than here.

All we care about is money, but we have none of it.  We bitch endlessly about eating healthy food and weight loss, but all we do is shove chemicals into our bodies on a daily basis.  If you want to eat real food you better be willing to pay 10 x the price.  We dedicate our entire lives to work just to get health insurance that will barely even cover us if disaster strikes.  Hundreds and thousands of kids are going to college for psychology, but all of us refuse to see therapists because of concerns of stigmas and reputations.  Everyone wants kids for all the wrong reasons and wants to live through them or solve their problems with them, so they raise them to be crazy. You have to spend your life savings sending your kid to college even just to get them a job bagging groceries.  Meanwhile they get to start their life in an inexcapable pile of debt.

There are places out there that don't live like this.  I'm not saying there aren't problems elsewhere, or that there aren't WORSE places (there are MANY)  

But there are places where people live happy lives with almost none of these concerns.  BUT the trade off is your house is half the size, twice as old, and you don't get a mercedes.  

I never want to stop travelling and land here.



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165,275 My wedding was nothing. No flowers, no cake, no one there but my mother and a man that lied, impregnated me and didn't love me.



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165,274 I'm drinking wine, listening to I can't make you love me by Bonnie Raitt and getting all emo.

I miss him.  I miss the one before him.  I miss the current one now.  I miss my first love.  I miss them all.

I fall in love so easily and I will again and again and again.

But for now I miss them all... all impefectly perfect for me in their own unique way.

36/f



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165,273 I wish you would have asked me to come with...



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165,272 IDK maybe your uncle is  probraly lying my whole family is being in the airline business forever. Theres also been mostly in very long flights (international) and they have never seen such things. Airplanes are very complicated and I just don't see a person risking the life of many just to have some fun.



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165,271 My life has been amazing the last few weeks! I am so freaking happy!! I think you are too!! Have a nice life my friend. You can never come back. That's a fact. If only you gave us a chance we would have been happy together. But luck has it, I'm better off without you. We both know it cuz you will go no where in life. I needed a man an he has always been right in front of me. So glad I opened my eyes!!



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165,270 I've been masturbating for hours.



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165,269 Sunday evening always makes me sad. I'm not sure why.



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165,268 I like Larry David cranky or Carrie in King of Queens.  No bullshit, funny, sharp.  they aren't downers, they aren't whiny.  I don't like whiny critical people.  But I also am not into super perky people.  Just perky at everything, i can't take it.  I'm a positive type but who has all that energy?  They  are just always on, and something about that annoys me.



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165,267 A person in my office stands too close to people when he talks. We back away. He moves closer again. Kind of missing the social cues there buddy. Autistic much?



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165,266 "Hey, slow the roll."

I hate when parents try to sound cool. i don't even know what it means!



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165,265 I can't do it anymore. I have been pretending for so long that I want to stay in this relationship and forget about the person I truly want to be with, giving myself excuses of why I should just wait and see if things get better. It's not going to get better. I fell for someone else. That's it. I don't have to tell him that, but I have to leave.

He went down on his knee in the sunset light, "My sweet beautiful.." he called me, and I died right there. He told me about his dream that everyone was ok with it, and I want to believe it will be that way. Listening to his radio show just to hear his voice. This is torture.



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165,264 My uncle is a commercial airline pilot. He said that on long flights when you see the pilot leave the cockpit and come back and talk to the passengers for a while, it's because the co-pilot is having sex in the cockpit with one of the stewardesses.



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165,263 I realize I actually really like cranky people. Not bitchy men or women, or whiners, but basic malcontents who cut the crap and talk real and laugh from the heart! Went on a hike with my husband and a couple we know; I feel physically hung over from making nice with those sunny people. Decent people, good people. But an element that annoyed me...can't pinpoint it. I'm a broody person. Psych nurse, no time for bullshit. Well no, I love certain types of bullshit as long as it's based in truth. No time for body angst or drivel about getting ahead. Hey, you're not decapitated! Or burned! Your body is awesome! And hey, there's more to life than making the RRSP deadline.



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165,262 When a woman is wearing a bathing suit, I always look to see if any stray pubic hairs are poking out.



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165,261 I just went on my first date ever last night, and I dont know if it went well or not, I mean it was nice but he didnt kiss me... but we've known eachother since we were little so idk if that would be weird for the first date... and then he's texted me literally everyday this week, and then we went on a date last night, and today, nothing. dead silence... what is that?!?!?! should I text him?!?! is he waiting for me?!?! THE ACTUAL FUCK I NEED SOMEONE TO LEAD ME THROUGH THIS. and I cant talk to my best fiend about it because she'll make super fun of me and ugggghhhhh FML.



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165,260 Laugh all you want at me parking.

You don't even have a car to call your own or a bed of your own. You're in your 50s sleeping on someone's couch.

Loser.



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165,259 Matt,

I knew it. I wasn't drunk when I told you about taking you to that place. I was being my usual, generous and loving self. Then, after I hung up the phone and thought about it, I realized that you don't deserve my love or generosity. You never even bothered to do anything to mark my special day.

So, no I didn't  call you until Friday night, and yes, I pretended to be completely confused thinking that you were going to finally do something nice for a friend that has always been nothing but generous and nice to you. Yeah I lied and stated that I thought you were taking me to see the exhibit. I just love, how you saved face and pretended on the phone that you would be doing that and that I would get my birthday treat too, on Sunday.
Today is Sunday. Its beautiful out. I am skating right now. I bought tickets to see the exhibit with another friend this Monday. Tonight I see my harp teacher, then finish off with this wonderful day with a cocktail at my favorite bar.

I know you too well, of course you weren't going to make good on your word/text about going to the exhibit. Apparently your very good friend is not even worth 25$, or a pie on her birthday.

I think I am more angry at myself than you for allowing this to go on so long.



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165,258 Where do you find these men that would take that?  My boyfriend (we're working things out) would like someone who cleans everything, organizes it (he has a ton of stuff) does all the laundry, cooks, gives him sex when he wants it (he wants it a lot, a few times a day) and he also takes a long time to cum.  That's a big thing, making him cum.  He is good in bed but there comes a point where you don't really want to have sex ALL the time and then be expected to do all the other stuff too.  It's exhausting.  We would spend all day so he can cum as much as he needs to because his balls need to be unloaded.  And someone who is submissive, and works.  Who would make a good mother.  And wears certain clothes he likes and certain makeup he likes.  He loves me genuinely, but I know he wants all this from me.  I love him and see him as the only guy I would want to do things for and give to, but all that stuff takes its toll.  I don't think I can do all of it all the time.



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165,257 I guess I can understand a gun lover wanting to own a gun. But look at me. I need a car to drive to work. If I had six cars though, you'd think I was crazy yes? I'm only one person, why would I need six cars... But gun lovers own six guns. Or more. You only have two hands. Why would anyone need more than two guns?



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165,256 I still don't understand what happened with the movie The Interview. It's a funny clever movie but we pulled it from theaters because some spoiled chubby boy in North Korea said not to show it. What?



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165,255 I'm so mad! I work with a volunteer group. I've been the assistant to the leader for five years. Being honest, I've been doing all the work. I take care of every little detail. The leader is a total figurehead tool. Now she is retiring and moving to Florida. She hand picked her successor, and it's not me! Holy crap people are so ungrateful. I'm so out of here and you know what? I'm not saying this out of spite but the entire group will fall apart if I'm not there. I'm sure people will spin it and say the group fell apart because the leader retired. Keep fooling yourselves. You will lose this precious volunteer organization because you are all blind. Whatever. Eye roll. Sigh. Puke.



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165,254 By 6 months after my divorce I lost 22 pounds. I wasn't trying to lose weight. It just happened. I think all his negativity over the years was causing me to seek out comfort food. Once he was gone, so was my need to eat. Bad marriages suck in more ways than we realize.



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165,253 Hello my friend, I can't talk to you directly, so I will post this here and hope it finds its way to you through the ether. I know you read this site. I have to relay a story. Very odd. Very creepy. It sounds kooky, but hopefully you will appreciate it.

A few days ago I told people the story of what happened to our mutual friend and her car. I also told how your mailbox was vandalized. This all happened I think 6 years ago. But just the other day I told the story on Facebook. Honestly I've always thought those events were related. I think the same guy did both. You know the guy I'm talking about.

So the day after I told the story on Facebook, I'm in a coffee shop waiting on a crowded line. I'm just idly looking around. I notice a car in the parking lot. There's a guy inside. He's straining a little to look into the coffee shop. I think nothing of it. Looking for his wife or something. But then I realize it's the guy. How weird. I haven't seen him in years. I tell the tale on Facebook and suddenly I see him in his car looking in my direction.

I'm hardly a paranoid person, but that was weird.

Then today, I go to the supermarket in town. What do you do in the supermarket? You go down the aisles right? If someone wanted to follow you, they'd wait a minute after you entered the store, and then they'd enter thinking you had your cart and you were in the soup aisle or something. So I go in the store, but instead of going down the aisles, I stop immediately by the front door to get a movie from Redbox. A minute later who walks in, but the guy! He looked totally flustered when he saw me. Like not knowing what to do. Since I looked right at him, I couldn't ignore him, so I said, "Hey how's it going?" I shook his hand. He stood there like a deer in the headlights. I'm surprised at how quick I was, but I noticed he was wearing a camouflage coat, so without missing a beat I said, "You hunting something?"

He started walking away, and then turned back and held out the corner of his jacket to me, sort of gesturing with it and said, "You know hunting season isn't over. Yeah the deer hunt ended in January, but hunting season isn't over, not really." Then he just quickly disappeared. I thought I could see him walking out the doors on the other side of the store. He didn't buy anything.

Like what the hell? What that a threat to me? This guy is nuts! He's an elected official and he is nuts!

I'm trying to be reasonable and convince myself he didn't follow me there. But how weird is that? I mention him online and he instantly shows up twice in my life and makes some weird comment about hunting season isn't over?

LOL, my friend, if I disappear, you know who it was...



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165,252 I think this loser is dating me in his head.



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165,251 If I push on my pussy just right, I can pee standing up like a man. Take that world!



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165,250 "You should drive a nicer car... You should get a better job... You should talk to more people at the party... You should take dance lessons...  You should wear different clothes... You should make more friends... You should exercise more..."

No my darling wife, what I should do is find a wife who believes in me and isn't always trying to change me.



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165,249 I'm getting tired of all the bennies. At least that's what we called em at the Jersey Shore. Everyone in Florida just calls them tourists. They spend so much money to come down here. They clog the fucking streets and get into accidents and cause back ups on A1A cause they can't figure out what turn the Wakulla is. They take their skeezer friends to drink bud in the parking lot of the stripper joint. This place just turns into a cesspool. I swear all of the locals here just have a complete look of misery.

I work at a hotel as a housekeeper and a lot of times I'm tired and fed up and just use the same rag I used on the toilet in the shower. People who get time share rooms never tip because they assume that the 2 and a half hour cleaning done for them is 'included'. You know what else is included?

Your toliet water cleaned shower.

Bennies.



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165,248 God should be afraid of ME!



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165,247 I think Obama is becoming unhinged. I like the man and voted for him, but I think he has lost his patience with white America. In these last two years I think he's going to try to turn everything upside down. It's kind of exciting. But at the same time I'm worried he's going to really lose it and free all black people from jail or something like that.



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165,246 In college all I wanted to do is drink and fuck. I probably could have done that without spending $50,000 a year of my dad's money on tuition.



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165,245 How the fuck do the women get men. Ok, they have a small waist and a pretty smile. Yet they won't cook, don't take good care of their kids, won't clean, don't have sex, won't give a bj, doesn't do their own laundry. If they have money they pay someone to do it or else it piles up. Then the man has to pick up the slack on the weekend. But-they have a hot wife. Really?!? Is that what you want? Me- i have a little pudge, i cook, clean, i would even give you a bj- all at the same time. I'd make you a sandwich of your liking afterwards, I even do the naugty things you like in bed. And I am a great mother. Fun to be around, talented in many ways, smart, sensible.
But oh! I don't have a six pack abs, not that I think women should have that, if you want that- go get a man. But I still exercise, am healthy, and can keep up with you. And I am a strongly independent woman who won't pull you down, but still comfortable letting you be the man.
Shit, I forgot about that little pudge that won't go away.
Damn. I guess I'm not what you're looking for. Better go get that gold digging bitch who won't do anything for you.
Got it.
Fuck that. And fuck your views.

Rant over.



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165,244 I'm kind jelly that ciel phantomhive has a better figure than me. 😢



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165,243 165230 I'm sorry to hear that your in unhappy relationship. You shouldn't live for nobody but yourself. So leave that unhappy relationship. It's your life. Who gives a crap what anybody thinks, it's "your" life right? I'd leave.



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165,242 I'll tell something really embarasing about myself. About 10 years ago I got a cell phone. I live alone, it's not like I had a wife or children who needed to call me. But all the people at work had cell phones so I thought I should get one too. I had the phone for a year and not one person ever called me. The phone never rang once. You want to know if you are unliked in life? Get a cell phone for a year and if no one calls... then you know the answer. After the first year I gave up the cell phone and never got one again.



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165,241 A woman I know shamelessly lies on Facebook. She makes up weird stories of what happened to her on any given day. Today's story is that she gave a workmate a ride and he tried to molest her. If this was her first story I'd say OMG that's awful, call the cops. But a few days ago she was in a parking and a man tried to mug her. And before that she was in a store and woman slapped her 4 year old daughter. And before that she was at a wedding and she saw the groom kissing another woman in the bathroom. I mean like there are 100 dramatic stories coming from her mouth. Very creative imagination when it comes to making up gossip, but doesn't she realize we all know she's lying.



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165,240 I love how Irish people call it "fooking". Hey Irish boys, you can "fook" me anytime!



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165,239 My boss is immature. He's spiteful and petty. He's like a girl in junior high school. (I can day that because I'm female.) I love working here, but it's so difficult working with him. My latest epiphany, the company put him in his job. So the company is at fault. How can I love working at a place that makes very bad decisions. Time to leave.



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165,238 Things you should know:

If you use women's studies/gender studies jargon on social media or in conversation, it doesn't make you look smarter.  It makes you look like a stupid person who is trying way too hard to sound smart.



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165,237 HB
I am more in love with you tonight than ever, but I know you will never feel the same; how could you feel anything but revulsion for this ugly, broken woman? So, I am more in love, but also more alone than ever too.
BB



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165,236 You're gone but I still have the scar I got from rug burn when I was riding you



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165,235 i'm bored with white. tampons should come in designer colors.



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165,234 There are some Fridays when I'll come home from work and just lay down on the couch and watch a movie. I'm still wearing my suit. Eventually I'll grab something from the fridge and lay right back down on the couch. I'll sleep there. On Saturday and Sunday, same thing. I'll watch Chuck Norris movies or something equally bad while eating left overs and sleeping on the couch, all the while still wearing my suit. I don't snap out of it and change into a clean suit until Monday morning. I think I'm suffering from depression.



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165,233 I always thought sodomy meant wild sex. I had no idea it specifically meant fucking a person in the ass.  So when the bible mentions sodomy, they are talking about people fucking in the ass? Really, the bible talks about people fucking in the ass??????



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165,232 When i'm not working I fucking hate myself, am too bored/lazy to do shit. Then I take a bong hit and let another pointless day disappear.



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165,231 National Down Syndrome Day?

Gimme a fuckin break.



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165,230 I'm in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship.

I'm attractive, smart, well educated and friendly.

I'm also completely ashamed.

That's my secret. I'm ashamed to admit that even though everyone who knows us probably already knows. How could they not?

I need to get out. Desperately.

I just don't know how.  



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165,229 When I see wedding announcements in the newspaper, sometimes I look at the photo of a pretty couple and think yowzer, she's had his cock in her mouth.



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165,228 I love the way you fuck me, so raw and animal. Sucking on your big fat cock is one of my favorite things, working my way down to your asshole with my tongue making your cum so hard. I can't wait until we do it again!



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165,227 i had an amazing pair of grandmothers. my kds, sadly, have you and her. and you make her look like a godsend. you're losing your mind and taking it out on those around you. i love you, but my kids wont miss you the way i miss my grandmothers. and thats sad. what has happened here?



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165,226 I would never date a guy who owns a gun.



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165,225 I'm disturbed at your lack of caring for the small girls around you. I sat here and said nothing every other time you posted, I'm sleeping with your man quit touching my man blah blah blah I have no care for what you said about me. Maybe I am a whore, maybe I like to fuck, maybe I can do whatever the fuck I want, I would love to be held accountable for saying this. You can look at me however the fuck you want, yeah you start talking about people losing their innocence, and that is where my silence ended. Judge me. But don't forget yourself while you're at it.



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165,224 Sometimes I want to masterbate on my car ride home from work but I'm too afraid I'll get caught. It would be sexy hot to be stuck in a traffic jam with cars all around and I'm sitting there with my hand up my skirt. :) :) :)



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165,223 When I bump into someone I know at the supermarket I'll say, "Hi, how are you?" But what I'm thinking is, "Oh God, I hate this fat bitch."



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165,222 My mom wants to use a bird cage for our future dog.
This kinda reminds me of how people say that prospective parents should take a test to see if they're ready for kids.



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165,221 In looking back I'm mortified at how my own wedding turned out. It was the most boring wedding ever. No one danced. No one mingled. No one talked. No one looked like they had fun. They came in. They ate. They left. The best man didn't have a toast. No of the guests made a toast. My sister and her family caused a fuss about where she was sitting so she left half an hour after she arrived. The saddest part, when we left the restaurant, everyone else had already gone home. It was just my husband and me. We had no car with us! The restaurant had to call us a cab. I drove away from my wedding in a smelly cab!



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165,220 What fucking bullshit! What fucking double standards. It's all over the news today how three cops and their buddy went out drinking and on the way home they caused a drunk driving accident. Two of them died, the other two are critical.

If these had been ordinary citizens there would have been outrage that they were driving drunk. But no, these are cops. And other cops are defending the drunk driving assholes.

What an embarrassment cops are are in general.



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165,219 Everytime we fight and break up I go a couple of days being ok, then I start missing you again. Now everytime I get close to crying the panic attacks start again, I haven't had one for a while and in the last week I've had two. But this time I just have to man up and keep going on with life, there's no going back. Still hurts though, I hate loosing friends but I guess you can't loose what was never yours to begin with. See you around, I wish you well too.



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165,218 Dear shit-talkers at the office: if you can hear me from across the room, I can most certainly hear you. Unfortunately there seems to be no solace for the social pariah.



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165,217 My secret is if I was to take offense to what someone else says about someone cheating. I probably had something to do with it. Does someone feel guilty? The internet is a great way to speak your mind without being held accountable, isn't it missy?



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165,216 Why is poop considered to be so foul. It's just the remnants of food. No one is shy about letting people see you eat a sandwich. But everyone is shy about letting people see the remains of the sandwich after the nutrients have been removed. What's the big deal?



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165,215 Very often when I see on the caller id that it's my wife calling, I don't pick up. That's a bad sign. I don't think I like her.



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165,214 I have finally done it.  My own (extremely luxurious) place all to myself, as many boyfriends as I can handle, sorta-fat bank account, and no job that anyone needs to know about ;)

-Thats right, motherfuckers. I am hell on heels.



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165,213 I tried to leave it behind me after the last two years, but this hidden part of me is following me and is upset at being neglected. She wants attention. Now.
A guy in my class accidentally found out. And now, I can see him looking at me differently. I feel this sexual tension and now that he knows and appears curious about it, I want him to fuck me so hard and leave me marks and shit...people basing bdsm on that shitty book don't realize how amazing the real thing is. And now I'm dating a switch...ugh. Maybe this guy can help me out...fuck, I need to put that hidden slutty sub side back in the corner.



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165,212 I hate my boss. One day I'm going to make him my bitch.



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165,211 I'm glad Obama is dissing Israel. Been a long time coming. Get rid of Israel and the world would be a much more peaceful place.



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165,210 Ive been faithful to my boyfriend until last week. I did it because his been cheating on me with diffrent females for the past year. I brake up with him he comes back crying begging. Im now logged in to all hos social media sites hedo doesn't know it. And every time i see something i dont like instead of arguing i go ahead and cheat. Im tired of repeating myself.



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165,209 Oh, Kevin, I saw you hug our coworker. Did something happen? Are you OK? I want to be with you, still.



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165,208 I promised her I'd only have one bowl of ice cream. I meant I'd only have one bowl of ice cream at a time.



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165,207 Hey ski condo guy, How the husband,s dick and balls taste like? Cheating is disgusting the married woman probraly had sex with the hubby then you with you. Gross and disgusting not hot at all.



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165,206 This old woman said to me as I may have looked sad and said something cynical, "all you need is a good cry and then you'll be back to normal". What's normal? The world is evil, watching someone fuck your wife? Cheating on your husband? Being a whore? The world is evil, I've lost faith in humanity, organized religion is a joke! I haven't cried in 6 months so she was wrong. Swallowing pills seems the more humane way to go. No one cares, you don't, your neighbor doesn't. Does anyone really care? Nope. It's a done deal. Kids? Nah, if I can't get back to being my bubbly self I mean really who gives a damn.



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165,205 No, I'm not "depressed." I'm not talking much because I DON'T LIKE YOU! How can you not understand that when you are a dick to me, I'm not going to talk to you anymore? I am NOT grumpy. I'm pleasant to every other person that works here. Why are you asking me how my night was? I'm not going to tell you. Just stop talking to me. PLEASE. Do you even KNOW what an asshole you are?



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165,204 A secret I never expected.

My wife has a best friend. The best friend owns a ski condo. A few weeks ago she asked if we'd like to use the ski condo for the weekend because she and her husband couldn't go.

We said yes. But then it turned out I couldn't go. My wife spoke to her friend and then decided to go anyway with the kids, leaving me alone in the house for the weekend.

Saturday afternoon there's a knock at the door. It's my wife's friend. She comes in and immediately says, "Your wife is away and my husband thinks I'm shopping. I think we should fuck our brains out."

Like wow. I've always liked this woman. We've innocently flirted in the past, but never acted on it. Now she's asking me to have sex with her.

Who am I to turn down such a thoughtful offer.

Pow, we had sex for the next two hours.

The story doesn't end there. There's an addendum. A few days later I come home from work and the woman is sitting at my kitchen counter talking to my wife. I say hello to both of them. The woman then turns to me and says, "I heard you couldn't go skiing last weekend and had to stay home all alone. Did you enjoy yourself?"

She's saying this right in front of my wife!

"Ahhh... yes I did."

This woman is such a fantastic tease.



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165,203 From now on, the only people I want to be friends with are straight women and gay men. I can't risk falling in love with anyone. I will no longer be pursuing friendships with straight guys or lesbians.



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165,202 I don't keep in touch with my family but a few years ago my sister called and asked if I wanted my childhood microscope that somehow ended up in her possession. I drove an hour over there to get it. I had never been in her house before. Tiny house. She is single and lives alone. The microscope was on a top shelf in her bedroom closet. She said I had to get it down. Fine. But when in her bedroom it was hard to miss the goldfish bowl by her bedside filled with condoms. Unused. It threw me. She was my little sister. I don't like her much. Weird to know she must be having lots of sex. But now I'm thinking something else. I thought she worked in a bar as a waitress. Not quite. Turns out she works in a topless bar as a dancer. The many condoms in the goldfish bowl, I think she's doing prostitution too. How weird. This is my sister.



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165,201 Time to delete and throw away everything I've been holding on to. Time to forget. The past is past. Good luck to you



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165,200 I'm sure Bristol Palin would have had an abortion if her mother wasn't running for President at that moment. I think this kid only exists because of politics.



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