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170,399 I once cut a wart out of the inside of my mouth with an exacto knife. Bled like crazy. But it worked and no more wart.



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170,398 I feel like killing myself again. Apparently being with you just masks what I am really feeling inside.  When you disappear for hours and days on end after being with me a bunch of days in a row it hits me like a ton of bricks. I should probably just kill myself and get it over with.



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170,397 My husband does S&M on me. I don't enjoy it. I go along with it becuz well I have no other choice. I'm fat, I'm broke, I never went to college, I make min wage. What am I going to do? Run away with the 80 dollers in my purse and go to Calafornia where a hunky star with bags of money will marry my sad ass and put me up in his big house? So I stay with my husband and he ties me up and pisses on me. This is my life.



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170,396 Babe,
I just deleted the text from 10/05 when you told me we were done. I sat here and read through the whole conversation and cried. I cannot believe we are done. Thats it, just done. I am not doing well without you. I need you in my life. Do you need me? Do you miss me?



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170,395 I think I can tell who picks their nose alot. Their nostrils are bigger.



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170,394 I don't have the money to get this one particular ugly mole removed by a doctor so I'm going to try to remove it myself with that brush on wart medicine.



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170,393 The most surprising thing I've learned about my wife is that she masturbates. On so many levels this throws me. We were having one of our very infrequent sexual encounters - by infrequent I mean once every six months or there abouts. I was trying to talk a little dirty with her and asked if she ever masturbates. She said, "Yes." I asked how often. She said, "Once every couple of days."

Like wow. I had no idea. She said she does it after I leave for work. She lays in bed and makes it happen.

I mean, I find it sexy. But at the same time, I'm angry. She so rarely is in the mood for sex with me. Once every six months is not acceptable. But now I find out she's been getting her jollies several times a week without me. It seems selfish and uncaring about me. It also makes me feel like she doesn't like me physically. She obviously likes sex - who knew, but just not with me. It makes me feel insecure about how I must behave in bed.

All this from what I thought was a fun sexy question during sex. A big backfire. Careful what you ask your wife.



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170,392 I don't fart because I fear it will leave a mark on the back of my pants and then I'd die of embarrassment.



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170,391 There was a secret on here awhile ago about a guy who was going to divorce his wife and get millions that she had no clue about.  She had committed insurance fraud and a number of other things.  I wonder if that all happened.  Love reading these secrets.



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170,390 Damn, it felt good to be desired. And accepted. I guess deep down i am just shit.



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170,389 Just submitted my application to my dream job, GS. I've wanted this since 2012. I wish I had done better in school, focused more on my future since HS, etc but the only thing I can do now is look forward. I want to tell everyone I applied because this is honestly such a huge step for me but I feel arrogant and pretentious so I'll say it here. Wish me luck. I've never been this nervous in my life.



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170,388 I can't stop feeling your hands all over me and I don't want to. I haven't felt that desirable in a long time. I have bruises on my back and on my breasts that ache and make every movement remind me of your body pressed against mine. What started as an innocent flirtation here and there led to me wanting to ride you six ways from Sunday. I hope nothing changes next time I see you. It's nice to try something new. Never to cross any lines, but just to get some new material to finger myself to. Goddamn. I just want to breathe in your smell one more time. I'm ruined. Hopefully when my body heals and I don't yearn for your touch every time I move, I'll snap out of it. But I don't want to. You are handsome and charming and funny and a wonderful listener. Fuck.



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170,387 Yeah. That is definitely some inappropriate shit. It's also very disrespectful to you as her husband. Bet she wouldn't like it if you were the one doing it.



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170,386 My wife plays the innocent act. She doesn't fool me.  She was running the other day and started a conversation with some guy who was also running in her direction. Just somehow my wife happened to give him her phone number. Just somehow...  He texted her after the run saying how he enjoyed talking to her. She texted back saying likewise. He texts saying they should run together again. She says yee she'd like that. They have a few more back and forths to arrange a running date. He signs off with how he's really looking forward to this.  My wife's response, "Me too! xoxo"

Like what in fucking hell? A married woman doesn't make dates with a married man. And what the fuck with the xoxo. My wife says she was being funny.  I said how he's a guy and won't see it as funny, he'll see it as how much you want to fuck him. She says I'm making too much out of it. Bull shit. It's not appropriate behavior.



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170,385 He did something incredibly nice for me. Then asked me out for the second time. Wtf was I supposed to do? I said we can try. He's an extrovert. I am an introvert. This really isn't going to work. Very small community. I know the only way this is going to end is with me being labeled as a complete bitch.

Truth is I just don't have feelings like normal people. I don't feel as much for him as he does for me. I mean he's a nice guy, but I got nothing.

Even worse, he's one of those physically affectionate people. FFS.



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170,384 I told my wife that thing about semen tasting sweet means I might have diabetes. I then asked her to blow me. She told me to go to the doctor if I think I have diabetes. I would go, but I don't think the doctor would blow me either.



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170,383 I'm growing suspicious of all U.S. elections. I'm not sure the reported results match up with how people voted. Think about it. There is so much at stake. You get elected President like the Clintons, and somewhere in there you manage to amass a net worth of $100 million. That's big money. Are we sure some of that money isn't going to rig elections? It would be so easy.

I saw something once. It was in a small town election. I was there to observe the election as part of a article I was writing for the school newspaper. Two people tied for an elected office. 1486 people voted. Each candidate got exactly half, 743 votes. There was going to be a recount a week later.  Seemed weird to me that the recount would be delayed a week. For what possible reason? Well I soon found out.

The paper ballots were all put into this blue bin.  The top of the bin was taped in place.  The bin was left in the hallway at town hall.

A week later the voting officials gathered again to count the vote.  First thing I noticed, the gray duct used to seal the bin and magically turned into black duct tape. Of this I was certain because I was the one they asked to put the duct tape on the bin.

The votes were recounted.  As much as there has been 1486 ballots in the box when it was first sealed, now there were only 1484 ballots. Two were missing. Turns out one candidate still had 743 votes. But the other candidate only had 741. He lost two votes. Clearly someone open the bin and removed two of his votes.

I mentioned this to election officials. They got super mad at me for daring to question the integrity of their election. I tell you, it was bullshit. That bin was opened and two ballots walked away. The election officials didn't want to acknowledge it because I think they were in on it.

Then I look at the Presidential election and I think its all the same baloney. Elections machines are electronic. How do we know they weren't hacked. Look how often credit cards are hacked. Can anyone tell me with certainly that the same thing didn't happen to voting machines? Nothing is sacred. I think we are being conned big time.



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170,382 I dont get why women paint their nails. Its weird. Its unnatural. What if I painted my ears green. Wouldnt you think I'm a bit off? But its okay to paint your nails green?



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170,381 My husband is a narcissist. He's killed any affection I've had for him.
He got drunk the other night and said "your pussy ain't shit. I'm going to find a pussy to fuck".

I hate him and secretly wish he dies.



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170,380 Mmmmmm I wish I could kiss your neck and your sweet mouth. Your skin so tan and delicious and I love your thick dark hair that's always a little messy and you smell delicious. Your smell and your eyes were the best part. Oh my god your smell and your eyes were my favorite part.



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170,379 i met this girl on craigslist. she is not pretty but has a phenomenal body that she lets me touch and fondle all over. she likes to have her tits out in risky places and she gets all wet and messy down there but she wont blow me or touch my cock. i wonder if she will change soon. i'm so horny.



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170,378 I can't stop wondering if you will ever tell me you love me too.



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170,377 Been cheating on hubby for all but the first couple years of marriage.  No plan to stop. I've been with my current "friend" for about 5 years. It's electric and I want it to continue. I'm content in my marriage but wouldn't be if it wasn't for my "friend". He keeps me going and makes me feel alive.  The sex is incredible and we do things I'd never thought of doing. It's amazing. After 5 years I still catch my breath when our lips touch.



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170,376 Every time  someone  asks  if I have kids I have to say no. My heart wants to leap out and scream, "YES! Two! But they live here!"

Today would be her 3rd birthday. He would be 10 months. Mommy loves you both. Happy birthday my sweet girl.

My greatest  hope is to be a mother again and be able to hold one of my children even just once. Until then I will carry them in my heart and lie when asked... even to my family.



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170,375 You have hurt me for the last time. Next time your Canadian ham breaks up with you, I will not be there to console you.  Lose my number...



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170,374 170371 he loves his friends more than he likes you.  It gets no better than this....actions speak louder than words.  Find someone who will place you first, above all others.



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170,373 People my age are retiring. They are settling into a life of leisure. As for me I have found myself in a new vocation. I have rediscovered the guitar and piano. Hours and hours of writing, playing and practice. One of these days the eyes reading this message will hear my music. The world will hear my music. If I put in 25 years in my new vocation I can retire at 85. Life is good.

M/60                 LBC  is me



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170,372 I am done looking for a husband. Or even a boyfriend. I can't find anyone who wants to be with me that way and have it be mutual. The one I want isn't ready for a relationship  and is long distance. I can't do that again.
The other one is just a buddy even though  I like him a lot. I'm  not  enough for him.
26/f/lonely



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170,371 I said we should go on vacation together, but he declined, citing a busy work and school schedule. Then his work schedule lightened up a bit, and his friends were planning on visiting from out of town. He said that he forgot that I asked him about going on vacation together. Now I'm vacationing alone, and my husband is off gallivanting with his friends.

I know he loves me, but I hate that he cast me aside for his friends. Was he just waiting for a better offer? Am I just a placeholder? Guess who won't be getting any when we reunite?



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170,370 I miss him



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170,369 Scariest thing in the world to most people is facing your problems head on, the internal ones people usually ignore.
Which is why people get addicted to numbing them.  Then they seem as far away as the moon.
Until they need another dose and they don't have one.
Then those problems, all of them are amplified suddenly.
Not to mention your body saying "hey, either put more in or I will rebel"
Life is hard enough.
Do it sober and you too can be a warrior.
Over and out.



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170,368 I've done coke, meth, heroin and other drugs with no problem with addiction.  So why can't I kick these pain killers?



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170,367 Please contact me.
-your favorite American



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170,366 Lies all come to the surface.
Eventually, you are exposed.

Just remember that.



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170,365 I have a theory that most fertility issues today are due to inflammation in the body.  3 people I know who have had long term 5-10 year fertility issues but went on very low carb diets (for varying reasons none of them know each other) they all ended up pregnant.  I myself gained weight several years ago and stopped having a monthly cycle for over 2 years and  went low carb (under 30 carbs a day) and within 6 weeks my cycle had returned consistently every single month like it had never been gone.  When I mention this theory to people they get hostile.  Like me give up sugar NEVER!



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170,364 Sorry about that...



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170,363 Be mindful of your surroundings: In the cemetery near my mom's house, I'd sometimes wander down there at night. Maybe I'd slip in to a freshly dug grave. Maybe I would climb on the roof of the mausoleum and lay there looking up at the stars.

I think it's pretty clear when you are not welcome there. The cops or someone or something will let you know that it is time to leave, and that your presence is unwanted.



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170,362 I made a mistake. Starting in 2nd grade, I put my daughter on the bus to the Ivy League. She instead should have been on the bus to the Community College. She's a B student being held captive by a parent who encourages her to get top grades. Blood from a stone. Reluctantly I will now stop this bus and let her off. She won't have a long wait. The Community College bus is frequent and crowded.



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170,361 I am experiencing fertility problems. Whenever I see a TV show using the common trope of a woman suddenly getting pregnant, I want to stab someone. Whenever I read fanfiction and the main character becomes pregnant, I want to stab someone. Whenever I see a pregnant woman at the office (several are going on maternity leave in the coming weeks), I want to stab someone. Now, the New York times is running a feature story on how a "one and done" family unexpectedly got pregnant.

Someone, shoot me before I land myself in prison, please...



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170,360 At 170356, thank you. I appreciate your kindness. My state is beautiful and I love it. I go hunting and fishing and hiking a lot and I love being in nature. I think I will go for a walk...



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170,359 I asked her to leave so many times. So many times. Just leave. Or, just leave me alone. Go away. She wouldn't go, all while taking advantage of me and everyone around her. Acting like i'm indebted to her because she is good at rearranging the furniture. Is there peace in my world? Hell yes. She thankfully went away. But if I feel it necessary to use her for target practice, that's my business.



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170,358 my head is so full from studying and taking everything in that I just take little breaks where I lied in bed with my blanket covering my eyes. Every little noise is to much, can't watch tv or listen to music. My head is so full, but that's uni life. can't wait for these two weeks to be over. I want to make a good career in life but god, this is so exhausting already, how am I going to work 60 hours per week and not die after a year.



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170,357 i am an older man with a secret life keeping and fucking a much, much younger woman on the side. i live in fear that someone will disccover my secret but it drives me crazy that i cant tell anyone. she is so sweet and delicious with her ripe body and incredible sex that i want to scream it from the rooftops. when i am having boring sex with my fat wife all i think about it is my little secret bitch yelling while I force my cock into her asshole. It's the only way I can complete the job with my pig-wife. I guess every life has its good and bad. my little whore will be gone in a few years too, maybe i will be able to find a new, younger one then.



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170,356 re 170353, you live in one of the most beautiful states in our country, I am envious.  There was a time when I felt the pain of being alone and then nature found me, restored my love for life again.  I am beyond happy when surrounded by nature so even if you don't feel like it, go outside and take a walk.
You may be surprised in how much better you feel when you find yourself in your own company again.
Mother nature heals, not people.  Ask any native american.



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170,355 Sometimes I will put my hand on my stomach when I feel a heartbeat there. I will smile and feel so happy and daydream...but I know there is nothing there. It's just a random heartbeat from my body or whatever....then it makes me sad. I just want to feel needed. I want somebody. I'm only 17 though......
-Molly



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170,354 While my heart is currently aching, God is good. I've started a couple of new friendships that would not have occurred if I had been around my boyfriend this weekend.

I finally seem to be getting some more female friends :-)
(I'm in a male dominated industry, so most of my friends are guys)



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170,353 I'm so lonesome I could die...
Someone, anyone.
I live in Camas Washington



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170,352 Semen is greatly affected by a man's diet. Fruits sweeten it, meats (especial red meat) make it more bitter. There have been actual scientific studies into it, although my husband and I have done plenty of experimenting of our own. ;)
Pineapple, strawberries, apples and bananas gave him (to me) the best flavor.

It is, however, true that constant extremely sweet semen can be a sign of diabetes (although I've heard vegetarians are generally sweeter). Might want to use a different symptom to bring diabetes up to his doctor, though! Haha



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170,351 A moose this weekend...?
Not the same polar bear, sorry.
Still searching for my kitten though, she may be a lion now.



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170,350 Past is the past, do yourself a favor and move on. Ex's are ex's for good reason.  You doubt have to know the reason but accept just accept it.  If you blew it/they blew it, go on to a new chapter.

Especially if they've made it clear they want to be in the past.  Repeatedly.  Leave them alone.

Let go and move on.

You only hold yourself back.  No one else.  Just you.



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170,349 I talk about you a lot with this new girl. You were so much better. For some time, you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Fuck I miss that.



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170,348 Older middle aged divorced man here. In a relationship with a great woman. She is a little bit of a prude though. Have the hots for a married woman. Would love just one night with her.



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170,347 I really enjoy watching my brother work his ass off for his wife and kids while I remain unmarried and childless.  The harder it is for him, the better I feel about my choices.



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170,346 A kitten has been known to frequent this site. Is this the same polar bear who was unable to get a moose this weekend?



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170,345 True love, just words.  There is no other side of love because love is always true whether together or apart.  A person either knows how to love and let go and still love, now that is the essence of true love.
Has very little to do with romance which is very handy when wanting to pro create.
Sometimes people make it difficult to love them but love them anyway.
The word love is used much too casually.  Some of the cruelest people I have known used it as an excuse.
     "But But But, I love you and I am sorry.."
Add cliche here ____________________



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170,344 I am lost. Please, someone, come and find me.



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170,343 A true love, an absolute love, is like two individuals wrapped in a rubber band. When they are feeling it the rubber band is never too too tight. Yet, at times the explosive energy of a disagreement can  cause the two to separate and stretch the limits of the rubber band. If the explosive charge is too great the band will break. If the relationship is worth keeping it will never break. It might bend, but if it is true love, absolute love. It will never break.



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170,342 HAPPY SINGLE GUY:
another story of my theory...when you marry, her built up resent comes out to punish you!
My friend calls to tell me how his wife will not give him sex, treats him as a dumb dog, and if he says he likes her hair a certain way, she will purposely NOT wear it that way!
He said it all changed after the ring went on her finger.

Keep them on their best behaviour,,STAY SINGLE!



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170,341 Even my best isn't enough. He gave me chance, and now he regrets it. I'm putting my entire being into this, and it's still not enough. It looks like I missed the last bus, and now I'll die waiting at the bus stop.



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170,340 If a guy's semen tastes sweet, he could have diabetes.



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170,339 335. A woman does not pee out of her vagina.



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170,338 I have a ring finger tan line. Even if I take the ring off, the evidence of my marriage is still there. I'm a prisoner with no chance of escape.



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170,337 There's a man in my town who was pretty much a part of the furniture at the pub I used to drink at. He drunk with many of my friends and family. My dad doesn't talk about his family at all, I found out about my dad as a kid/teen and some of my uncles, my grandad as well as what he got up to. He was a really awesome man who would talk to anyone and make anyone feel welcome. He sadly passed away and I feel like a big chunk of knowledge has been ripped from my grip. He was a great man and was a lovely friendly man until his final days. Father, may you be up in the great Waggon in the sky x



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170,336 My wife is dumber than a bucket of chum. She's going on a job interview. It's at an upscale bookstore. She puts on a dirty wrinkled tshirt and pants with food stains. I point out how she looks like a mess. Her response, "Well I looked nice the other day when I went out to lunch with my fiends." Like what the fuck does that have to do with looking like a slob today for a job interview. The bookstore owner wasn't at the lunch the other day. She's such an idiot.

Another one from this week. At that lunch, she treated her friends. The bill came to $150. I complained saying I didn't have $150 to waste on a lunch for her and her friends. So you know what she does? She goes to the bank, she takes $150 out of our joint bank account, and hands it to me saying this will cover the expense of the lunch. Um, hello? She took the money out of my account so I can go put it back in my account to pay the lunch bill.  And this will someone how cover the cost? Did I mention she's an idiot?



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170,335 I'm still a bit surprised and concerned that a man is supposed to take the thing he uses to pee, and stick in a woman where she pees. This is how the species continues? This is the grand design?



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170,334 Now that I see things from the inside, I'm completely convinced some very bad people run for political office to helped themselves get ahead. I used to think it was an easy myth, oh this person wants to be elected so he'll have access to this and that. But I always brushed it off as people just whining. But now from where I sit, I can see things much more clearly. I'm convinced it's true. As much as there are good people who truly want to help, there are also others who are in this for personal gain.



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170,333 It has been a week and a half since the fated night you told me you could not contact me except for work specific situations. Thank you for messaging me the other day, i really appreciated hearing from you. That one interaction was not enough.

It is killing me, I see you name on messenger and think of you, I wonder if you think of me?...I miss you so much, do you feel the same way? do you miss me? I wonder what you are up to, how you are, whats going on with your kids.



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170,332 I love women too.



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170,331 I pray you don't believe whatever negative comments you might have been told of me please.
Up until a couple months ago, i could care less of anything my sister came to me with regarding what she had heard because she would always come AT me instead of questioning or coming to me before snapping.
Yet when i heard what was said to you...i broke. Never did i imagine that person talking about me in such a way to probably still the one and only person i still care for as i do you, it hurt me instantly and i want you to know that i am definitely not in any way "strung out" or whatever other ways ive been described.
Actually, my eyes have been shown so much more in time passed that i spend a large portion of my time alone, by myself. I trust maybe three people, occasionally i have the blessing of veing accompanied by this one young man (hes 27) and we actually engage in intelligent conversation which is such a fucking relief aside from what this town has become. We have so much in common and converse usually all night into the next day until he heads to work, very well mannered. I was confused the first time he opened his vehicle door for me, ive never been respected in such ways lol
Ive witnessed old friends become prostitutes and fiends, its saddening.
I jump around topics too much but i hope you know im still waiting, whether it upsets you or not, im still head over heels, i still love you. Im sorry for all i had put you through, for what its worth.
Polar bear out. 😘😘😘✌💕💕



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170,330 My odd tale. I dated a woman. Personality mesh was good. Sex was good.

We started pushing the bounds of sex. Sex in semi public places. Anal. Golden showers. Sex was really good.

We also talked dirty. She'd tell me how she wanted to take the sperm out of her pussy and rub it on her boss's coffee mug. I'd tell her how I wanted to fuck her sister while she watched. We said outrageous things. Sex was great.

One night I said I wanted to have a guy fuck me in the ass and cum inside me while she held his balls.

When we were done, she asked if there was something I wanted to tell her. She demanded to know if I was gay. No I'm not. She wanted to know why I said that about another guy. I said it was just a story. She wouldn't let it go. She was mean about it. She was putting me down, saying I was queer, in a bad way. I again stressed it was just dirty talk. It meant nothing. But she wouldn't let it go.

Next few times we got together she brought it up. She said, you're not going to talk about your secret gay desires are you?  She was condescending. She spoiled the mood.

And that was that. I didn't need her shitty attitude of me. I dumped her.

Lesson: Don't be so judgmental of your partner. It's unfair to use things said in intimacy as weapons later on.





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170,329 Does a kitten still happen to look upon this particular site?,
A curious polar bear...



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170,328 Stephen in Falls Church,
I really liked you and you are a man in could respect! I am sorry I can't date you online right now. Come find me again in 2016!
Anne in Frederick



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170,327 Stephen in Falls Church,
I am sorry to have left you hanging like that on EHarmony! I simply can't join EH right now or email you either. I really liked you and you are a man I could respect. I hope to find you again on EH in 2016 when the timing is right! Two ships passing by in the night.....
Anne in Frederick



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170,326 I stutter and stumble and say stupid things to people in person. But on the internet, I can take my time, and think out an articulate response. Therefore I have officially changed my mailing address to the e-world of communication and I won't be going home again.



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170,325 I love women.



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170,324 I'm secretly wishing we will end up together as a family.  Make it a reality, I'll say yes.



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170,323 People care about your sex life like they care about your bowel movements



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170,322 HAPPY SINGLE GUY:
Well tonight is the hot redhead with big boobs who loves sex. staying in and sex! BOOM! a dream.
for the negative ones who are saying "ewww, gross, disease, blah blah..." whatever. you are just miserable.
we are safe. like anyone else who has sex.

STAY SINGLE...keep women on their best behaviour.



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170,321 I hate women with a burning passion.  Misogynists aren't born, they are created by women and their ignorant and narcissistic behavior.  My first sex was with my drunk ass mother when I was 12.  Thanks mom, you selfish cunt!  We grew up in poverty, which is always harder on boys than on girls.  My sisters were smart enough to sell their pussies to the highest bidders, they both popped out a couple of kids, and neither one ever worked a full time job, not even with their kids grown and out of the house.  Meanwhile, my brother and I struggled because women looking to aid guys financially in exchange for a taste of the cock are few and far between.  Gee, I've got a question for all of you worthless gender studies majors – you think there are any biological differences between men and women, or are we all just products of our environment?  Three years after I graduated from college I got a huge break at work and fell into an extremely high paying and visible position.  I was invisible to women prior to that, but afterwards I may as well have been carrying a sign that said, “Offer me a blowjob, I'm good for lifetime support,” because the women came out of the wood work to pursue me.  The “winner” of the competition to find her lifetime annuity was my now ex wife, a polished sales rep and a consummate fraud.  Turned out she was a lesbian, fucked me silly until our wedding night, and then our intimacy became nonexistent.  She married me for respect from her father, now she lives with a woman.  Divorcing her ass was a pleasure, only wish I'd done it much sooner.  Now I'm 58, plenty of money, no kids, and women my age keep proposing to me and I keep saying no.  Here are some numbers that might wake the bitches up, but I doubt it since women are the absolute masters of self deception and even conning others into believing their steaming pile of bullshit lies.  (No woman lies about rape?  The wage gap?  The sexual assault crisis on college campuses?  The baby is yours!)  According to the Census Bureau as of 2012, there are 3,771,000 women not married between the ages of 55 and 59, and 3,051,000 men.  In the next age cohort group, 60 to 64, there are 3,620,000 women available for the 2,339,000 men available.  And you can bet that since women are hypergamous and want a guy with more money than they have, who is at least their educational equal, who is taller than them, and who isn't gay or mentally deficient that the numbers are even worse from a hetero woman's perspective.  So here's the bottom line for all of you “girls” who are clueless about how the world really operates: you will be pleasant, you will do all of the housework and all of the cooking, and you better serve up the pussy and blowjobs on demand, and even without me asking, because I can replace the stink between your legs in about one day on a dating site or at any orchestra concert or museum party.  You think your company is so great, your conversation and compassion so amazing that you are an irreplaceable special snowflake?  So does your best girlfriend that wants to fuck me and lock down the deal, and so does her sister, and so do the other millions of special snowflakes just like you.  You haven't cured prostate cancer, you haven't created a MicroSoft or Facebook or Apple or Dell that employs tens of thousands of men, you didn't invent the car, and you didn't discover flight or put a man on the moon.  You want to make my life better?  You want to make any man's life better?  Shut the fuck up, get over yourself, try doing some work like a real adult, be polite and giving and the minute you think about withholding sex as manipulation or punishment do yourself a favor and punch yourself in the face, because I guarantee that I punch harder than you do, and it will save me the trouble.  One last thing, happy single guy who posts on this site is right – we're not getting married.  Ever.  You aren't having my babies so you don't get my last name, and you sure as hell aren't getting my money when I die, which will then be passed onto your children.  I'm leaving my money, every dime of it, to organizations serving homeless men and wounded veterans.



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170,320 I gathered knowledge about sex from two different main sources.  One was from school, where I was taught about STDs and safe sex.

The other one came from furries on the internet, who showed me in graphic detail a lot of fetishes, what an orgasm is like, and all sorts of sex acts.

That's right.  Furries.  I'm not really one of them myself, but they did a great contribution to my education.  My parents had no idea because this was before people really knew how to erase history and things like that.  I was better at the internet than they were.

Total strangers on the internet taught me graphic and safe details about sex, how to be respectful, orgasms, and also what kind of fun flavors there are out there.

I started this at the age of 12.

I'm not sure if it would have been better if my school taught me these things.



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170,319 Education certainly has changed. At my daughter's Middle School the students read books detailing sex acts, including descriptions of orgasm. Like what? And if I dared to complain, I'm sure I would be ostracized as some prude whacko mom. None of this should be happening!!!



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170,318 I know a family really well. We've been friends for years. The parents went away for the weekend leaving their 15 year old daughter home alone. She tells a remarkable tale of what happened next....

... She was home alone studying history on the Saturday evening. She had a question about the homework assignment. She texted her friend. She mentioned she was home alone and there was nothing to eat. The friend came over with two sandwiches. The two girls couldn't finish both sandwiches... "and like you know, the sandwiches had mayo, and like you can't leave mayo sitting around or it will go bad, so they had to be eaten right away, and like we weren't hungry anymore, so we texted another friend to come over and eat the extra half of a sandwich, and she like brought two more friends with her, and we were like all thirsty from the sandwiches and stuff. So someone texted a boy to bring over something for us to drink, and like he brought over soda, and like we didn't know he also brought beer, and like I didn't want there to be beer, so he texted more of his friends to come over and drink the beer because we wanted to make the beer go away, so everyone had to drink it so it would be gone, so we drank beer, but like more people came with more beer, and like there was no place to park, so they parked on the lawn of the neighbors house, and like the police came, and like I didn't want to be arrested because I wasn't doing anything but trying to study history, so I left with this boy and I don't want to go back home, so I stayed at his house for the night, and like yeah, that's what happened."

The parents came home the next morning. The house was trashed. The doors were wide open. Beer cans everywhere. A message on the voicemail from the police. The daughter showed up a few hours later with the story how none of this was her fault.
And maybe the most amazing part of all, the parents consoled the daughter. They knew none of this was her fault. The parents got mad at the teenagers in town, saying how they were all bad kids and a bad influence on their daughter. They asked the police to arrest the kids. The police didn't quite see it that way and instead wanted to arrest the daughter for hosting an underage drinking party with over 100 kids in attendance. They cited several text messages from the daughter to friends say come over and bring booze. The parents said the text messages were a lie. Their daughter couldn't possibly be involved with anything like that.

And that's how it works. Parents have blinders on and kids go astray.

The icing on the cake, a few months later the daughter had to tell her parents she was pregnant. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the night of the party when she was drunk and willingly went home with a guy. It was probably from the water in the public swimming pool and like yeah, that's what happened.



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170,317 I've been holding this in for a very long time. It was the summer 1970 and I was 16 years old. I lived on Chicago's Southside in the Avalon Park area. I worked at a restaurant at 83rd and Cottage Grove, I can't remember the name, it was Muhammad something Restaurant. It was owed by the black Muslim family  Elijah Muhammad. My buddies worked there also, it was a summer job and back then minimum wage was 1.00 hr.

It was the three of us who worked there all summer, me, Wille and Billy. It was a very tumulus time in Chicago with the civil rights movement in full swing. It was the best summer I ever had as a kid. Anyway we all worked in the kitchen washing dishes etc. It was not a hard of a job and interesting because we were not Muslims and the other employees were. They were required to donate part of their weekly check to the Muslims and since we worked there they assumed that we were going to donate money also.
Now 1ᚨ an hour is not much and no way was I going to give up my hard eared cash, Willie and Billy felt the same way. Well they didn't like that very much but too bad, what were they going to do. Back then the Muslim Nation was very militant and sometimes violent; it was the nature of the times.

There was this waiter at the restaurant, I can't remember his name. He was a real asshole very intimidating and he tried to bully us. He couldn't bully Willie because he was 6' 1 185 at the time and he was only 16 and he was the toughest guy in my hood at the time. The waiter tried to bully me and Billy. I was a short guy skinny, but I knew how to carry myself and I could fight so he didn't bother me at all after I told him I would kick him in the balls if he messed with me. This guy was at least 6' 2. I didn't care because everyone was bigger than me and I wasn't afraid of anyone, when I looked up in his eyes and told him that he just looked at me and backed away. It must have been something in my eyes that told him I was not to be messed with.

But Billy was a different story. Billy was half white and something else, he looked like a white guy with long brown hair and white skin. We never had an issue with this because we just didn't care about that crap.
Well the waiter didn't like Billy because he looked white and he just gave him such a hard time. I mean just on and on always something.  Well one day I was taking a break out back and the waiters ten speed bike was chained up there like it was every day. To this day I don't know what came over me but I took a knife and cut both tires up flat. And went back to work thinking the asshole deserved it.

Well for some reason the waiter thought Billy cut his tires and him and a couple of his Muslim buddies jumped Billie and beat him up really badly. He was really hurt and I was shocked. I knew that there was going to be a backlash or something about his tires but I had no idea he would blame Billy who was totally innocent.

It was a big scandal and a big deal in our neighborhood. The police were called, arrests were made. I was interview by the cops and of course I said I didn't know anything about it but that the waiter was always bullying Billy. Eventually a settlement was paid to Billy and his family from the restaurant and the Muhammad family.
All these years 45, I have felt very bad about all of this. I never told anyone that it was me who slashed his tires. Billy didn't deserve that at all and I have lived with this and I'm very very sorry it ever happened.



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170,316 170315, I am 30 and had a similar experience about 3 years ago. I woke up and couldn't find my baby doll. I called for my Momma but she didn't come. I got up and walked out and the house looked weird. A man sat in the living room (which was in the wrong place). I was so scared but he was a person so I asked for my Momma. He immediately looked terrified and said softly, "Honey? You all right?" Then, click! I remembered I am an adult,  he is my husband, and i was in our home. He was so worried I went to the doctor but they said it was a sleep/wake cycle problem and not to worry unless it happened again. Maybe you just had a mental mis-fire, nothing to do with your age. So frightening, though, I'll give you that...



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170,315 Recently I woke up on a Friday morning and suddenly thought oh shit, I forgot to go to work this week. I work as a busboy and I hadn't been to work since last Saturday. I missed six fucking days! I must be so fired. How could I do that? I needed this job. I'm such a deadbeat. I was beside myself with angst and disappointment.

I tried to reason out a solution. I could go in and tell them I was hit  by a car and was in a coma, but I suddenly came out of it and I'm ready to work again. Ha, like they'd believe that shit. Sounds like a typical load of made-up crap from a dumb teenager.

No, I was going to tell them the truth.  I'd go in and tell them I messed up. And I'm sorry. And I know they probably won't give me a second chance, but if they could, I'll try my best to never let them down again.  That's the right approach.

So I hopped out of bed to take a shower and rush over there... over there... over where exactly... I couldn't quite remember the name of the restaurant anymore... It's somewhere on the west end of Main Street... oh wait... didn't they knock down all those buildings to put up a new bank...

I suddenly came to my senses. I'm not a teenage busboy at a restaurant. I'm a banker. I'm 58 years old. I have a house and a wife and grown children.  I used to be a busboy when I was 16. That was a very long time ago.

I felt so relieved that I didn't mess up, and that I didn't have to apologize for being irresponsible.

But what was that? I truly believed I was a young teen in trouble. I had been awake for a full 10 minutes lamenting my predicament. Is this Alzheimers?  Dementia?  Is my mind going?  Is this what it's like to grow old?  I'm sad and embarrassed.



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170,314 When I'm on a diet I pinch the flab on my abdomen many times a day to see if it's getting smaller. Yeah, right, like being on a diet for all of two days is going to have any impact at all on my big belly!



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170,313 If I get pulled over by a cop and he gives me attitude, I give it right back to him. He's a public employee and has no right to treat anyone condescendingly.

A waitress gets snarky, I call over the manager to say her tone is unacceptable.

A customer service rep on the phone, same thing. You get sassy with me and I will turn you in big time.

I'm never mean.  But I am exacting.  I have no tolerance for people who try to push me around.

Except if you are my child's teacher. Teachers terrify me with the power they hold. They yell at my child and I say nothing. They incorrectly mark a test question wrong, I tell myself to let it go. It's not worth it. You piss off a teacher and not only will she harass your child. She'll tell the other teachers and they will also harass your child. Never talk back to a teacher.



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170,312 Persimmons taste like cum.  Especially the aftertaste.  I laugh everytime I see a guy eating one.



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170,311 I've been coming to this site for a decade.  I looked at the earliest "best" archives, and there was a secret of mine I wrote 10 years ago about how my 8"-inch long by 2"-wide cock was "for sale" and "hardly used."  At the time I was frustrated that I had had very little sex in my life.  I was married (still am to the same person), but seeing what I wrote so long ago had a hard impact on me.  It made me think hard about why I wrote that and everything that's happened in the intervening 10 years.

My sex life was non-existent in my youth because I was sick with a serious cancer.  No one has time to have relationships and sex when that's going on.  I recovered, but because of that I was a virgin until I was 28.  There was a huge urge in me to "make up" for what I missed out on, but I met a great woman and got married.  But the urge was still there.  I tried to fight it, but I couldn't.

That's when I wrote that secret, at the very beginning of trying to fight this urge to make up for lost time.  I remember so clearly where I was and what I was feeling.  I was at my desk at a terrible job when I wrote that secret, and I wrote it quickly out of frustration.  I loved my wife, but the urge to "settle things in my life" was awful.

After I wrote that secret, I spent the next year fighting the urge.  Finally, I gave in.  I got drunk one night (always a bad start), texted a slutty woman I knew who was 15 years younger than me (she was also drunk), and met her at a party.  She took me aside,  pulled her shirt off, and it was on.  I sucked her titties, we made out, I rubbed her pussy with my fingers and dick (too drunk to get it up).  It was great, but of course it didn't settle the urge, it only opened it up.  One small thing led to other larger and larger things.  Phone sex, titty pics sent to me, sexting over texts and instant messages, it all loosened me up for when I got drunk at a strip club and fucked two strippers a few years later.  Still not enough.  I went to massage parlors to get jerked off, went to strip clubs without my underwear on so the girls could give me handjobs through my pants, more phone sex, prostitutes.  As I grabbed my phone to take a picture of my 10-minute old newborn son, there was a picture of my huge cock that I had sent some woman who was 20 years younger than me.  I felt ashamed and deleted it, but I still kept up doing all this stuff.  I just got worse.  I was awful, and I was married the whole time.

After I read my 10-year old secret, I looked back on all of this.  I got this awful feeling like I was homesick.  It's like I've been away from my home for a decade, and all I want to do is come back to my family.  Was all of this drunken and wanton behavior worth "making up for what I lost"?  No, I guess it wasn't.  Why the hell was having sex so important to me anyway?  I don't know... some personality defect, I guess.  I want to come home.

Last night I walked past my wife and said goodnight.  We've been sleeping in different rooms because of our newest baby's sleep schedule.  Then I felt homesick, and I walked back to her and kissed her goodnight and gave her a big hug and told her I loved her.  Now I just feel this yearning to be with her, to hold her and love her, and be with my family.  

I really hope I'm "home," Cavecanum.



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170,310 i may have stopped asking but I always hope that you are.

okay.



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170,309 When did you stop asking if I was ok?



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170,308 I'm desperate for attention because my wife doesn't talk to me very much. So I try to chat with people online. I'll post something in a forum and come back 20 times a day to see if someone has responded. I'm pathetic.



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170,307 I find it highly insulting when I'm talking to someone on the phone and they bump my call to talk to their ex-girlfriend. I'm not the consolation prize. You've got things backwards.



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170,306 I grew up near a cemetery. We played in there a lot. We knew not to walk in front of a tombstone because there was a body buried under that spot.

A few weeks ago I was in a cemetery. I walked right on top of the graves. I didn't give a fuck. They are dead. They don't know I'm walking on them.

I was a much better person as a kid.



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170,305 170218  It sucks being poor, but I admire your resourcefulness.



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170,304 I would never use someone else's sex toy. It's extremely unhygienic and very creepy.



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170,303 So I made a mistake.....



Find someone who hasn't.....

Now you're left there looking like the bitch you truly are.
Closure is great. Hope you and your "love" live happily ever after.
I'm sorry you're too afraid to step out of your comfort zone I really am. But I'm moving on.....


I read in a book today, while you sat there next to me texting me desperately for your attention.....

"Revenge is moving on happily, without you."



YES IT IS.


And yes, I grabbed my obnoxious highlighter and made that shit so apparent to you.....wish you could've seen your face.



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170,302 It's rather uncanny. I didn't think I would by this point. But I still do. I still miss you so much it hurts.



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170,301 Last year my bf and I went apple picking. We ate many apples in the orchard while filling the bag. That night his cum tasted like sweet apple juice. Yum. But I thought it must be an odd coincidence.

This year we went apple picking again and same thing happened. He tasted like apple juice. This can't be a coincidence. Has no one ever discovered this before?



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170,300 -teeth like a baby pirhana
-a serious case of untreated toenail fungus
-obsessed with talking about shitting
-hamfisted attempts at finding my clit

Damn, though...I kind of wish I could be as deluded as you are in a way..,Strutting through life thinking you're all that



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