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170,899 I stalk. I just checked the price of that foreclosed house on her street. It would be a sexier confession if I was looking for a quiet place to surveil her house with cameras or a telescope. But no. I'm just worried about the impact of declining values in her neighborhood.



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170,898 I wonder what happened to the tampon guy. I wish my needs were so easily and cheaply filled.



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170,897 A man who goes out and puts his life on the line to save people from a burning building, now that is yum yum.
Integrity is sexy.
Everybody can sing but not everyone is brave enough to serve
humanity.



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170,896 I am a firefighter and a paramedic. Two and a half years ago, four members of my family (fire department), were killed fighting a hotel fire. I can still hear the melted PASS device shrieking for help on the rare occasion that I sleep. I was all at once humbled, honored and devastated to have been a part of the transfer of their bodies to the ME's office.

Before that day, I sought to be a person who never failed to answer the phone when a friend needed an ear. For years, those friends swore that they would be there to return the favor if I ever needed it. Until then, I'd never asked. I had no idea that I was getting hundreds of empty promises. They would say, "Thank you for always being there for me. I will be there if you ever need me".

Then the fire happened. When I most needed those friends to talk to me... silence. When I was emotionally incapable of carrying my own weight... silence. The hollowness of those empty promises allow my hurt to echo endlessly. My definition of "friend" has been forever changed. I can't help but to know that the promise of a friend to be there, is simply a thing that people say because they think they are supposed to. I fear that if I never trust again I will never have a friend who is worth the effort that must be invested to cultivate trust. The proverbial catch 22. I am confident (albeit pessimistically so) that I will never trust anyone who isn't either military, a first responder, or related to me. I thank God that my family was very present, when friendship failed, or I'd be even worse off. It would be disingenuous for me to say I haven't healed some since the fire but, the on long nights at the station, when the demons of doubt and regret come for me, I miss having friends. I find loneliness is becoming a 1 a.m. companion. My yearning to intimately connect with someone is pushing me to pretend to believe the lies. Even to accept people back into my world that have several times shown themselves to be selfish and unhealthy. When they call asking for my help, I jump at the opportunity to connect, but when the call is over, I feel like a dog returning to its vomit.

The crux of the matter is this. I'd sell all of the air out of the room I'm in, to have never learned this "lesson" on friendship.



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170,895 How can you possibly compare the risk of a teacher being in a tornado to a serviceman fighting in a war? That's such an absurd comparison. What does a tornado have to do with being a teacher? Nurses are at risk on an icy road? Yeah, so is everybody else who drives on an icy road to get where they need to go. Our serviceman are by no means over idealized, and I think the men and women who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for their country all while being poorly paid should deserve some perks.



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170,894 @170891

Though very helpful and valuable, teachers, dentists and nurses don't risk their lives to serve their country.



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170,893 A man who can sing.... yummy.



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170,892 How can I be this lonely in a world full of people



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170,891 Veteran's are great. But I wonder if we make too much out of their service. Teachers are great too. And nurses. And dentists. And lifeguards. The list goes on and on.  but veterans get free health insurance for life. And free college. And tax benefits for life. And a bunch of other stuff too. Why don't all helpful people get these perks?



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170,890 "If you have two apples and someone gives you two more apples, how many apples do you now have?"

"Two."

"Here, let me draw a picture for you."  I draw the first two. I draw the second two. I draw a circle around all four apples.  Then I say, "So how many apples do you have now?"

"Two."

"Okay, you have all the apples in the circle.  How many is that."

"Four."

"Great, so how many apples do you have?"

"Two."

This is why I hate being a teacher. Huge mistake. I'm taking evening classes to become a journalist. Fuck teaching. Parents, your children are too stupid for me.



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170,889 Last year. Thanksgiving. Large gathering with my wife's family. My 10 year old son was being helpful and refilling people's glasses with soda or wine. He asked my wife's sister, "Can I fill you up?"

She drunkingly responded, "Oh baby, yes, you can fill me up.  Anytime day or night, I'd love to have you fill me up.  Get over here right now baby and fill me up."  That kind of sexual crap said to a 10 year old boy.

What a piece of drunken shit this woman is. Half the room laughed, the drunk half. The other half looked on in horror.

The good news, I declined the opportunity to have Thanksgiving with them this year. My wife agrees.  That chapter is now closed forever. Goodbye drunken slut.



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170,888 Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson seems to make a lot of shit up. This is becoming less and less of a secret every day.  But tell me this, what's with the quality of presidential candidates.  Seems they are all nut jobs. If they weren't famous, and I started talking to anyone of them at a family picnic, I'd make an excuse and get away from them so I could talk to more normal people. Yet one of these nutters is going to be elected President? Heaven help us.



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170,887 I think insecure people need to put others down. It makes their frail egos feel better if they can somehow convince others (and mostly themselves) that other people have faults.



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170,886 A woman who likes a man will suck his dick.
A woman who likes a man a lot will suck his dick a lot.
All good things will follow ...




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170,885 I'm tired of being accused of having an affair. If I knew my husband was such a jealous paranoid person I never would have married him.



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170,884 I cried so hard when Bing Bong disappeared.



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170,883 Okay... then you'd be glad to put a dirty fork in your mouth the day after it was used by an AID patient?



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170,882 You can't catch AIDS from a house. Apparently it's a secret.



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170,881 I see the post was just deleted fir rudeness I imagine.  I'll respond anyway. Some people claim the HIV virus dies within 24 hours of being outside the body. But look at ebola. They thought that virus was gone from some people and a year later it resurfaced behind people's eyes and in a man's semen. Science doesn't always get it right. If you are so adamant that the HIV virus dies within 24 hours, how about I give you an unwashed fork that was in an AIDS patient's mouth two days ago. You can use it to eat dinner tonight.



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170,880 I bought a house and I didn't find out until years later that the previous owner had died of AIDS. That's why the house was being sold. He was dead and his brothers and sisters were selling his assets. This pisses me off to no end. I should have been told that there was the potential for disease in the house. I NEVER WOULD HAVE BOUGHT IT. I never would have put my family in that situation. It completely sucks dick the way people will try to turn a profit no matter who they steam roll to get it.



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170,879 My wife is only interested in sex on days of the week that start with a vowel.



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170,878 It shouldn't be a secret but it seems to be. People have many misconceptions about women and their vaginas. Women are not only interested in sex while they're ovulating. A lot of people need to brush up on their sexual education.



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170,877 My husband makes his own house repairs. If there's a leak in the roof, he's too cheap to hire someone to fix it. He does it himself. He gets on the ladder and replaces the shingles or whatever. His repairs last for about a month or so. He's so stupid. He can't fix anything right. He refuses to admit the professionals know what they are doing and do it right. But he can never hire them, oh no not him. It's like how men can never ask for directions when driving.  Men have an ego problem.



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170,876 All my so called friends are assholes. I wish I had one true friend.



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170,875 Can you please stop trying to make up accounts in my name that I have no interest on having? It's annoying getting notifications st 6 in the morning from Facebook or at 3 in the morning from Instagram . Seriously just stop it just go away , don't act like a creep if you don't want to be call one.



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170,874 Men are just really that goddamn stupid and self serving, and if you are a woman with the gift of intelligence, you already know this. I will never let a man play into my emotions to satisfy his impulses  of pure selfish motives. Men are not worthy of getting in to my head, and sure as fuck aren't to be trusted if there one thing they can gain by manipulating a situation.  Don't hand your happiness,your personal comfort, or your heart to such a reckless child who is all about his next piece of instant gratification .  I'm telling ya ladies...the men who you love are going to put you in harms way, let you die, deny you basic needs because hey, you don't NEED  a doctor or a dress or fun since you're HIS.  Fuck that noise. And guys...srsly



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170,873 Is the spirit of Joybubbles restless? One would think so.



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170,872 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST SOMEONE TALK TO ME SOMEONE BE MINE I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE AND IM CAVING IN



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170,871 I'm letting my life fall apart. I used to be a fighter. Not anymore. I don't care anymore.



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170,870 I was listening to some really loud porn while family it out of town. Its hot, the bedroom window is totally open but I had my buds in, turned it up to hear the nasty talk under her screams. Then I moved and my buds popped out of my device, screaming yelling sex shot out as I frantically pawed at the mute button. The whole very small dead end street just got an ear full... I wonder if its giving anyone any ideas

oh well
f/40



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170,869 Each of us has one of his three vintage phones - and he was a phone man.  He and my mom bought her house on his G.I. bill and I sleep there at least two nights a week.  I will inherit it - solely.  I'm lucky.  (?)



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170,868 Sometimes when I get reflective, I'll drive to my childhood home and just look at it for a bit.  I'm sitting in front of it now in my minivan.  It's only five miles from where I live now.  It's been 20 years since it was sold and I moved out, but I lived in it for 20 years.  All my childhood hopes and joys and plans are represented by this little house in front of me, and then everything that went wrong is represented by it as well. A lot went wrong.  Deaths and despair and horrible pain went on in this house I'm sitting in front of.  For years I would pass my old neighborhood and not even want to look at it.  I wouldn't even think about it because it was such a painful place.  Now I'm older, and it's like I return here and want to make peace with it.  Everything is fine now.  This house represents so much.



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170,867 Like, 70% of these secrets are about sex and/or marriage, and maybe 20% about money.  Human motivations really don't vary that much, do they?



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170,866 Carnivores are animals. Most don't mate for life, and they live and play hard. The strongest of both genders mate to produce strong offspring, and they usually get as much mating done as they can every season.

Humans are carnivores. The female of the species is in heat once a month, and when not in heat, usually has no desire to mate. There are the occasional exceptions of course, but the males are almost always in the mood.

Why should humans strive to mate for life? It's not natural. Separate the act of mating from love and have some fun! I don't get why this is such an evil idea to so many people. There would be such a decrease in divorces if people could just fuck as they wanted, without the worry that an hour of fun could ruin a life of stability and kill the bank account



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170,865 LOATHE STORY. LOL!



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170,864 I LOATHE my husband's cousin.  She's this dim little pious churchgoing Godbot who thinks she's the first person to ever have kids, and she likes to prattle on like she invented reproduction.  Her kids are exactly the kind of spoiled little entitled shits you can imagine they are.  I can't stand her or her entire family.

So said Cousin gets it into her head that I somehow want to be some kind of Mary Poppins second mawmee free au pair for these kids, and do it out of the goodness of my heart, don't you know.  She didn't even ask me to babysit, she just told me she was "looking forward to my help over the holidays."  Uh, NO.

Last weekend we were at a family dinner where they were also present, and I accidentally dropped an F-bomb within her daughter's earshot.  I didn't even realize the kid was in the room -- oops.  Naturally the kid ran and told her Mawmee like the little shit she is, and later than night Cousin called my husband and told him that maybe I shouldn't be around the kids for awhile.  She said this like she was punishing me by taking them away from me.

YESSSS!  FUCKING FUCK YEAH!  If I'd known it would be this easy I'd have cussed up a storm in front of the little fucks and their bitch of a mother from day one!



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170,863 TONIGHT is the big boobed flaky redheaded waitress again! I gave it to her good on Tuesday, and she says she "needs" me tonight...otherwise she will pull out the toys.  i translate that to "if you can't come see me tonight, i'll get another man who can!"  I'll be there.  I love fucking this one!



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170,862 My boyfriend's ex girlfriend was kind of a big girl. When we were just friends, he told me he liked bigger girls because they are more appreciative of nice things he would do for them because they don't get that kind of treatment elsewhere. Well, she ended up cheating on him. Now, I am not, by any means, saying he deserved to get cheated on. Nobody does. However, I do hope he learned a valuable lesson about stereotyping people. That mentality really bothers me. Like, does he think he is the only person on earth who likes big girls? Grow up! Besides, there are plenty of skinny girls who get mistreated. No girl wants a guy who thinks he's doing some sort of charity act by dating them. Fuck you. He has no real personality flaws other than that, and it would really hurt him if I said this to him, as the fact that she cheated is still a touchy subject for him.



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170,861 I have been thinking about you a lot lately love...
wondering what you have been up to, how you are doing?
do you wonder that about me?
I still cry, when is it going to stop?



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170,860 The joy of being a man who fucks several women is so great. Variety truly is the spice of life.  women tell me i'm a pig, but (most) women don't understand it.  They crave a one man, longterm relationship.
Most men will admit that even if they are married, they have cheated, or the sex is boring, or they want to cheat.

I have accepted it, and will not let women of society make me feel bad for wanting to be with multiple women!
It makes me more energetic, more alive, I stay in great shape, and my sex drive is thru the roof because of it.



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170,859 For the last few years, I've had a relentless desire to go roll in the mud.  But I don't, because I have to be a dignified adult.



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170,858 There were a lot of times when my mom wouldn't care, or even just be pissed if I got hurt or injured.  I've been slowly just letting go of the past regarding her, which means just forgetting.

But I learned a secret many, many, many years ago in my early life.  I'm female and was around a lot of the people who were supposed to follow a very traditional life and expected their descendants to do the same.  I think maybe it's my gender, so people tell me things that I don't think they would tell men.

One secret is that there are many mothers who don't really love their children, and even hate them.  It comes as accepted to me, so I am never surprised when I hear about abuse cases and I always forget that people don't realize it's real.  Western society is raised on the belief that mothers always love their children and will risk their lives to save them.  It's a beautiful story and reassures lots of people to believe we will all be okay.

But sadly, the truth is that it isn't universal.  Don't get me wrong, there are definitely mothers out there who absolutely love their children.  But it is way more common than people think that in many cases, mothers don't like their children.  I have a lot of women who feel safe with me to tell me these things, and I try to help them cope with their feelings.  But many more women don't need coping, they just hate their children.

The same goes for fathers too, of course.  We're all human.  Most of all, we're all animals who put our own survival, needs, and wants first.  Parents put themselves first before their children.

I have never had children, and I never will.  I recognized through my mother that I don't want children.  In this modern day with technology and easily accessible education, I have a better time realizing that parenting isn't for me, so I can reject the expectation that I should.  Usually parents who do it because they were expected to are only just going through the motions and for some, parenting just wasn't meant for them.

So part of the truth about my mom was that in some of those times, she truly didn't care, truly didn't like me, and it's just because that's the way things are.  She let my sister torture me and to this day, believes we will still be a big happy family.  I moved away and just do my best to surround myself with more positive things.



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170,857 When I was 40 I told my wife I was going over to a friend's place and left the house.  Instead, I got out some cash and went to a seedy strip club in town.  I wasn't expecting anything, just a few lap dances to brighten my day.  A really hot Latina came up to me and asked if I wanted a lap dance, so I said sure.  

She draped her long hair over us so I could kiss her neck and titties a little.  I don't know what happened, but I lost my dick control.  40-year old men are supposed to be able to control our dicks, but mine started growing uncontrollably as she grinded her hips into me.  I told her, "Oh shit, I'm about to cum!" and she started grinding her pussy into me faster.  I couldn't believe it but I started gushing cum all down my leg.  Nothing I could do could stop myself from it happening.

I was a little embarrassed.  Only young men cum in strip clubs.  But then I thought, shit, I just basically got jerked off by a hot Latina for cheap.  Who cares what people think?  I've gone back a few more times for the same treatment from the other girls.  You'd be surprised how many strippers are down with getting guys off in the club.  They're not supposed to do shit like that - they must think it's exciting to break the rules in a public place.



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170,856 When I was a child, I was talking on our old rotary phone when my older brother pulled the handset out of my hand and hit me on the forehead with it.  Those handsets were heavy.  A huge blue welt appeared right over my eye.  I ran to my mother crying, but she didn't seem to care.  

It was one of the meaner things my brother did to me as a child.  I also don't understand what was up with my mom sometimes.  There's her son with a huge welt on her forehead, and she didn't do anything.  I once accidentally stabbed a seashell a quarter inch into my kneecap (it was in the rear-facing backseat of the car... remember those things?), blood coming out everywhere, screaming my head off, and she didn't care.  I don't get it.



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170,855 I used to live in an apartment building in a big city. Being a geeky kid, I'd play by myself a lot. I knew every inch of the building's basement and crawl spaces. For amusement, I would take an old rotary phone and go down into the basement closet where all the phone connections were mounted on the wall. I used alligator clips to connect my phone into other people's phone lines. I would sit there for hours listening to conversations. Moms nagging kids to get home on time. Husbands and wives arguing over money. A boyfriend breaking up with a girlfriend. My old rotary phone was a secret portal into people's lives. I learned so much about people through listening in on those conversations. I have fond memories of rotary phones.



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170,854 My wife runs for exercise basically everyday. She does this to look her best. Problem is she has been running this way for two decades. And not 3 mile slow jogs. She thinks nothing of running 10 miles each day at a fast pace. After all this time, she looks terribly weathered. I think she has drained every ounce of fat from under her skin, leaving her with deep gouging wrinkles. And being outside for two hours every day in the sun, heat, cold, rain, has also added to the breakdown in her looks. At first glance she appears to be an old lady, even though she's only in her early 40s. She has achieved exactly the opposite of what she intended. She looks worse, not better. Classic case of not seeing the forest for the trees.



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170,853 I'm the stocky latino whom was thinking of crossdressing earlier in a post here... Well still haven't bought the heels or makeup yet, but I managed to get myself a curly wig. I posted my ad on craigslist's for an anon dark room scene to test the waters and to my surprise I got a lot of messages :) My ass looks amazing in a slutty short dress and it was driving these "str8" guys crazy, my post was even flagged for removal by some bitter Nancy.

I got responses from all types of guys, some with six packs, big guys, a hung military guy and a lot of Big black cocks. I met up with this horny average size Latino who became obsessed with me last night, I was just thinking of a blowing him but he ended up fucking his 5 day load into the condom as he fucked me.

My ass is a lil sore, but now I want more. No one aside from you guys knows my secret ;) I'm just a normal guy with a normal office job with a bubble butt of a black woman.



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170,852 There was a house in my mom's neighborhood. It was always overgrown, and it faced the cemetery. There was a mom and a son who lived there. They walked everywhere, and when they went places, they would always take their German Shepard. A cat would frequently ride along on the mom's shoulders. They shared the same name as my mom's mid century development, though I was never able to confirm a connection. Eventually the pets died, and I started seeing them less frequently, though I was able to establish that the son never left home.
One day some kids were pulling a prank, and rang the doorbell. As they were driving away, the son pulled out a rifle and shot one of the kids in the head. She survived, though she was somewhat disfigured. He went to jail. I heard that the mom fixed herself on the kitchen table and died.
One day I was walking down the street and was astonished to see that the house had been leveled. All that remained was the foundation. Ignoring the no trespassing signs, I proceeded to explore the basement which was all that remained of the house. In one corner of the basement was an old black wall mounted rotary phone. I didn't hesitate for one moment as I removed it from its mounting and walked up the stairs, out of the basement, and put it in a drawer at home for safekeeping.



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170,851 My septic tank is leaking. I pretend I don't notice.



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170,850 If we could all get together an just light up some stuff and get some drinks and bare our souls to one another in a non judge mental manner it would be so great. Maybe I wouldn't feel as alone



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170,849 They are really loud phones. Everything was so simple back then. My mom told me stories of how she would sit and dial numbers as a little girl. She still remembers her dads number to a T and he's long gone...



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170,848 How do I say this....?



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170,847 A couple of years ago, I was nostalgic for the old rotary phones so I bought one off Ebay.   I found out that you can still hook them up to your home landline so I did. Even though the ringer was turned down all the way, the first time it rang it scared the living Hell out of me. I forgot how loud they are. I unplugged it after the second call.



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170,846 Will somebody please be with me?



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170,845 Living at my grandmas house for a while she had a rotary phone an I remember playing with it too. It was a lot of fun I would sit and poke at it. I was seven this was like eleven years ago though.
Any other phone stories this is comforting swapping stories like we all know each other.



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170,844 I like the illusion of competence.



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170,843 Oh my god!  I remember being able to call myself.  My parents got so mad at me when I did that, but it was so much more fun.  The buttons on the touch tone phones were a lot more satisfying to press than my cell phones.  We had a rotary, and it was really fun to play with.  It didn't last long though.

I had relatives that had an old candlestick telephone.  I had seen them on Looney Tunes a lot and I was aghast to see one in real life.  Naturally, when I went to play with it, I got yanked away.  I don't think theirs was working anymore, but it was really neat!

Those relatives had a massive farm field for sheep.  During the winters, they would tie sleds to the back of the trucks and us kids would be towed along.  Unforgettable fun!



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170,842 My brother and I joke that when we're senile and wandering the streets, and someone asks us where we live, we'll automatically give the address and phone number of the house we grew up in. We had a rotary phone and a party line (no, it wasn't for partying, google it), and I remember the clickety-clack of the dial and how, if you dialed your own number and then hung up fast enough, you could call yourself. And if you plunked me down in that house today, I could tell you where we kept everything.

I haven't lived there for years, but in all my life, no place will ever be home like that house was. Which is why I have instructed my husband that, should I die first, he is to sneak onto the property in the dead of night and scatter my ashes there. Full circle--I'll be coming home.



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170,841 As the song goes...

"Sex ain't better than love
I been out here in these streets
And I done learned....yeah...

I seen it all
I done it all
So much better when you fall..."

Yep, that's what I feel but your hard cock and your money will do for now
We really could've had something once I thought...
Your capacity for real love isn't there I see
And the black hearted part of me reverts to type
Loving the hustle and the get off



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170,840 170836: You apparently were not around in the Mad Men days of the sixties. I was living in Manhattan at the time. Dad was a Madison  Ave account exec. Me: 12-year old kid playing in the streets of lower Manhattan. Yes, the stories you see are fictionalized re-enactments but what you see on the screen is what I had seen growing up.



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170,839 I resent people who inherit money.  I've distanced myself from people who I would otherwise like if I didn't know they were successful because they had help from family or a head start. I look at them differently and I can't get over my envy.

The envy is that my father is wealthy but has refused to help, even when I desperately needed it.  I could have been one of those people who didn't have to take out school loans, struggle when I graduated college and moved out on my own, had somebody help me with a down payment to my first home, or offer to contribute to my wedding.  Instead, all of my success has been the result of my own blood, sweat, and tears.  

If you don't have wealth in your family you don't have it.  It's better than having wealth and knowing the one person who could have helped, who could have made it easier, who could have considered assistance a legacy, did nothing for you.  That's what bothers me the most.



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170,838 My neopets account is older than any relationship I've ever had, job I've ever had, and older than my clean date!



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170,837 Like everyone else, I take a shower in the morning. The only reason I'll take a shower in the middle of the afternoon is because I just masturbated. Or if I take a shower in the evening it's because I just had sex with my husband. This is my "tell".

So if I meet you for coffee in the middle of the afternoon, and my hair is wet, well, you know what I was just doing.

It took me a while to connect the dots, but sometimes when I meet a friend for coffee in the middle of the afternoon, her hair is wet.............. LOL.



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170,836 I watch movies and tv shows like Mad men where people drink liquor nonstop in the office. I don't think the writers of those shows are being factual. I've worked in an office for my entire 20 year career. I've never once seen anyone drink liquor. I've stumbled upon people having sex a few times, but no drinking.



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170,835 As an adult I try to be the person I needed when I was a kid.



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170,834 I married eye candy. I should have married soul food.



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170,833 About a dozen years ago I was having a wild romp with the wifey. It was a hot August afternoon. We were in a bedroom on the second floor. Between the heat and the sex, we were getting particularly sweaty. This added to the animalistic behavior. At one point she was on the bed on her hands and knees with her butt facing me. I was standing on the floor next to the bed. I would fuck her twat. Then shift and fuck her ass. Then spin her around and have her suck my dirty cock. We cycled through this a few times --- twat, ass, mouth.

Then the phone rang. It was her boss from work. She had to take it. So while she talked on the phone, I continued to pound her pussy and ass.

Finally it was too much for me. Especially the part where wifey was talking to her boss while all this was going on. I let loose a huge load. Normally I cum in her mouth. But seeing that her mouth was occupied, I came in her ass.  Or so I thought. It was an honest mistake. My cock had been in and out of both her ass and pussy and I was momentarily confused. So I ended up spunking in her pussy.  We both collapsed in total exhaustion.

Punchline: And this is how our first child was conceived.



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170,832 It really doesn't matter



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170,831 FOLLOW UP on the Realtor sex last night...
Well she wasn't as sexy as the first time.  fun and funny but really not that hot . she wouldn't let me for eat her pussy for too long she said that's for a one on one relationship!  I had to laugh and think of the movie pretty woman like she won't kiss someone.  I sat there and had sex with her and she would let me eat her pussy...but not finish... pretty crazy. anyway she's also older and in denial about needing Lube so I doubt we will do that again.



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170,830 I like to play Words With Friends on my phone.  I win about 60% of the time.  Except with this one woman I play.  She's dumb as a brick.  I win maybe 20% of the time with her.  But she's also Asian, petite, big tits, and has told me she's fucked 20 guys, has had two abortions, and gave birth to one baby she shipped off immediately to be raised with the father's aunt in Africa.  I let her win so she keeps playing me and I can keep chatting with her.  I'm willing to lose a few games so I can win that pussy.



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170,829 I haven't had sexual intercourse with my wife in at least three years. Not for lack of trying on my part. She says she's too busy. Three years and she hasn't had half an hour of free time? Come on. As well as not being sexual, you can see she is also dishonest.



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170,828 Aside from remembering my childhood phone number, I also remember we kept the cutlery in the drawer just to the right of the sink.

Here I am 40 years later. I haven't seen my childhood house in all this time.  But some days, when I'm not paying attention, and I have to quickly grab a fork out of the cutlery drawer, I reach into the one just to the right of the sink. Haha, it's where we keep the aluminum foil. My wife looks at me like I'm crazy. She wonders how I can't remember that the cutlery is in a drawer on the other side of the room.

The thing is, I do remember where the cutlery is kept, just a little too well...



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170,827 Not only do I remember my phone number from when I was a kid 25 years ago, I remember the distinct tones of the buttons as the number was entered into a touch-tone phone.  I'm humming it now.



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170,826 There are many  dead omens but you might be surprise that none of them are black-evil . White is actually an omen of near dead,illness or something tragic about to happen . Every time that I dream about a wedding someone died is usually that person who is on a wedding dress or a relative of the person . Also owls are omens of dead  or tragic about to happen a few months ago I was about to start my park when I suddenly notice a big white owl  a few feet from me I stood there looking at it for few minutes thinking to myself if I should continue my walk or just leave . I decided to keep going and I was just going to be extra careful about my surroundings . A mile and half through my walk i slow down and suddenly I heard this loud noise it sounded as if something exploded as I keep walking to see what just happen I notice a car wreck the whole front was destroy luckily no one died but the women behind the wheel went into a shock a police officer arrived quickly since the police station is just a mile away from there.    The funny thing about it is nobody ever things negative about owls ,weddings or the color white in general but they are bad omens.



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170,825 I no longer do nice things for people anymore.  They come to expect you to do it after a while.



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170,824 I can still remember the telephone number and full street address of the place we left in 1963 when I was just a kid.  Our phone number was six digits.  That's as long as they needed to be back in those days even for the biggest cities in this country.  Nowadays, all of the phone numbers here are eight digits.

Actually, our old phone number consisted of a prefix of two letters followed by a suffix of four numbers.  Back in those days, the prefix part of phone numbers here was officially expressed in letters according to a scheme mapping a designated letter to each of the numbers 1 to 9 and 0.  The mapping was shown in the centre of the rotary dial of the phone.  I still remember that mapping scheme precisely, and the prefix letters of our old phone number.



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170,823 I have no shame in playing Neopets.  My college roommate and I play every day.  We talk about it frequently.

So how about that stock market?



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170,822 deleted



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170,821 Black cats= evil, omens, bad luck, wicked, demonic, bad vibes, possessed, satanic.
As to why nobody really likes them unless they themselves represent evil.



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170,820 Things that I want to write about with my boyfriend but have no balls to even begin explaining or telling about: fertility/potential pregnancy, voyerism and sexual torture.

Fffffffff. Plot and characters are way more important than cheap shit. Though I do have to admit these are things that would he totally hot to write about. Things that are hot to write about but totally wouldn't be hot IRL

Sorry if I sound like a nerdy kink freak now :C



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170,819 30 some years later and I remember my old home phone number also!! I also remember every exact detail of that house. It's funny how the brain imprints things as it develops.



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170,818 I play neopets way too fucking much.



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170,817 If you tell people what they need to hear, you won't be elected.

If you tell people what they want to hear, then you will be elected.

My bad. I was honest and told them what they needed to hear.



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170,816 There's a first time for everything. This morning I was eating my wheaties, when all of a sudden my butt was going to show me who was in charge. I didn't want the cereal to get soggy, so I quickly made the executive decision to eat my cereal while blasting on the throne.



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170,815 I hear my father calling my name in crowds all the time. He died last August.



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170,814 FOLLOW UP on the big titted flaky redhead waitress that I fucked last night:
She let me in, kissed me. She went to change, and came out in bra and panties, we went right to the bed.
Kissing, feeling her tongue, immediately hard.  I told her in need to eat her pussy.
I licked and ate her for a little, until she had to ride me.
She got on top, and looked so sexy, big fake boobs slowly going up and down, as she came and came on me.  
I held my cum as I am skilled in that manner.
I got on top and fucked her until she said "I need a break"
We kissed, stroked, and i knelt above her, putting my cock in her, as she fingered her clit, cumming again.
She said "I didn't think I could cum anymore"

I told her she was in trouble for making me wait so long.
with cock in her, I made her promise to not make me wait.

...she promised.
I also love how when I ate her pussy, just GENTLY touching her nipples gets her moaning!  

SOOO GOOD.

Tonight is the hot older Realtor, after the gym.

......I will report back.



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170,813 170804 I remember the first two. I use then as passwords.



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170,812 If my institution is right pretty soon you will join your mom and dad. I wonder how it will happen . Will be a long illness like terminal cancer or a sudden dead like your moms ?  Who knows all I know it will happen very soon .



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170,811 The issue for me with prostitutes is that literally anyone can do it. All it takes is genitals, and some forced enthusiasm. Hiring someone for sex is like hiring someone to make you a grilled cheese. Its a business transaction that takes no skill on the providers part. So yes, I think I'm better than you if you're a prostitute. Don't you have any self respect?



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170,810 I get a hoot out of the way women take a piss at times. We'll be at a concert. Everyone's drinking. A woman needs to take a leak. She crouches down beside some parked cars, bares her ass to the world, and waters the grass. It gets on her shoes and on her legs. Meanwhile everyone nearby is watching her. And what does she do? She pulls out a napkin and wipes her pussy. As if she is a sophisticated cultured woman. Hello, you just pissed in front of us and all over yourself, but okay, you are a classy woman who wipes her pussy.



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170,809 I know this one woman who is the most inconsiderate speaker. It's impossible to have a conversation with. Not because she's dumb. But her mind is elsewhere. She'll be thinking about what she wants for dinner instead of the conversation at hand.  So when we need her to answer a question, this is the type of thing that comes out of her mouth:

"I... uh... well... I think... I uh... um... the thing is... I will... uh... when the... uh... when I uh... "

She'll babble on for a full minute like this without ever saying anything more than gibberish. She sounds mentally impaired. She's not. But I've come to realize she only thinks of herself and it's not worth her time to put any effort into formulating coherent sentences for others. I hate dealing with her. So inconsiderate.

One of my friends jokingly went to a Halloween party as this woman. No costume needed. She'd just walked around saying, "I... uh... um..."  Everyone at the party instantly knew who she was pretending to be. LOL.



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170,808 My partner is an attorney and also a mandatory reporter. If she notices that a child is being abused in any way, she is required to report that abuse to the proper authorities. She tells people how they should raise their kids, and if they don't listen, the kids will usually be placed in foster care. It's a terrible system, but it's the world we live in. At least there is someone there to offer good advice and guidance to help families stay together. If you ever find yourself in one of these custody disputes, her opinion about how you should be parenting matters very much. In my house, not so much ;)



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170,807 My wife thinks she's a bad mother because the doctor noted how much our little boy clings to her.  I had to remind her that her son clings to her because she's a very good mother.



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170,806 As a girl, peeing is more complicated. I have to undo my pants and take them down with my undies. As sort of payback, I pee in my bathing suit when swimming. IT'S SOOOO EASY! I would never pee in a swimming pool. But I do pee in the ocean. I have even peed in the ocean while my friends were standing next to me. One mentioned she could feel pockets of warm water mixed in with the cold. Um, that wasn't warm water you were feeling. That was my pee. :)



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170,805 LOL, I once had this stupid &(*((*&( trying to make me feel like I'm a bad person  haha  , I laugh so hard  and I don't care . See I was raised this way not to give a single damn about what people thinks of me. I know who I'm ,where I come from and I'm very secure of myself (thank you mom and dad) about my self , I have always love me regardless if I was a size 0 or a 12 ,i;m happy with my life always been . I don't own any explanations to people or how I live my life , I get on no ones business and most important I would never tell a mother how to raised a child. I can do the same if I wanted to and judge from  what you eat  to how you raised your children but I don't because I don't give a rat #%^^ about your life and neither should you about mine.  Have a nice life darling and quit sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.



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170,804 I still remember my phone number as a kid. I've probably had dozens of phone numbers since then between work and places I've lived. I don't remember a single one of them.  But that number from when I was a kid, for some reason I never forget it. Funny how the mind works.



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170,803 My kid ran with his friends in one of those school fund raisers where the kids get pledges and then win prizes based on the money they raise. My son didn't expect a prize because he knows I don't make much money but he ran anyway just to be a good sport. He never asks for much because he sees the holes in my socks, knows I don't buy makeup, sees that I always try to take care of our stuff so it doesn't break, etc.

This morning when we were getting ready for school, I looked at him and said,"So, you know how we've been watching our money for while? Well, I am really proud of you for running in that race and I was able to save up enough for you to pick any prize you want for your run."  He was so thrilled! Oh, the look on his face when I handed his teacher the check and she confirmed he gets to go to the Pirate-themed laser tag place and get a t-shirt! I could easily have taken him to that place for less money, but there is just something special for a kid when they get to feel that sense of participation and to know someone cares. It wasn't about the laser tag at all. It was about letting him know that his efforts mean something and showing him that Mamma is paying attention and actually gives a shit.



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170,802 I went back to work after 10 years off. I thought relearning everything would be difficult. But it turned out not to be much of a problem. However, there were two things I had trouble with:

1) I could no longer take a nap in the afternoon.

2) I couldn't poop whenever I wanted.  I had to hold it in.

Other than that, going back to work was fine.



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170,801 Gay people are so fucking racists and shallow, especially gay white males.

If there was a straight pill I would take it, a few years ago I wouldn't have thunk this way. I guess i'll just have to prepare myself to live a lonely miserable life after all, or I might just pull the plug sooner.

God i'm so bitter...



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170,800 Some weird things about me:

* I pick my nose.  A lot.  It's because I have hydration issues and get a lot of boogers in my nose.
* I have a folder on my computer of porn videos and pictures of women I know on Facebook.  I'll put a girl's picture on half the screen while a video plays on the other half, and look between the two as I jack off.  When I cum I'll stare the woman's pic and just blast a huge load.
* I talk to my guardian angel.  
* I'll shit in the bathtub and watch the shower slowly wash it down the drain.  It's fascinating.  It's like geology.
* I pee in the sink sometimes so I won't mess up the toilet.  It all goes to the same place anyway.
* I've stalked women before.  But I don't think I was sexually interested in them, I was really just bored.
* When I fart, I breathe it in through my nose so I can enjoy the smell.
* I've gone to strip clubs to get jerked off a few times.

Do I sound like a disgusting weirdo?  Probably.  But that's me when nobody sees what I'm doing.  Otherwise, you'd be enamored of the tall, witty, handsome man with the gorgeous eyes, important job, and genius IQ.



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