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171,499 Lol someone just described my neighbor even though I don't talk to him since I can't stand him , he gets online and makes up all this tales . Did I mention he still lives at home?



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171,498 I have a friend who I KNOW lies about his sexual experiences. Nobody gets laid every single night by a different woman. There's always some girl he slept with last night, a girl he's going to sleep with tonight, he's going to sleep with her friend the next night. Her roommate won't talk to him, though, because she liked him but he slept with her sister.

I just wish he would take a chill pill and stop lying about everything. I bet he's never even had sex. He is so insecure that they think they you can't make friends unless you get laid all the time and act really masculine. I see right through his "cool" act. He just wants to be liked. I get wanting to be liked, but lying about stuff? That is so middle school. Tell the truth and get some genuine friends, bro. I'll be your friend. Who knows? Maybe if you let your guard down, a girl will like you for who your are.



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171,497 Amy Shumer would've gotten more likes on that picture if she didn't add the caption saying "ew, fat, disgusting, etc" ! I used to think she was hot. When people post things like that, I just find it pathetic.



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171,496 Pumpkin flavor is the new black.



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171,495 The summer after we graduated high school I took my good friend to get an AIDS test. He didn't want to go alone. I knew he was gay. No big deal. A week later he called and left a message saying the results came back positive. I freaked. I never called him back. I refused to answer the phone. Eventually he stopped calling. I took off for college and never heard from him again. Eight years later I received a call from his mother telling me he died.

I SUCK.



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171,494 I hate it here. There are so many mice in my house. Sometimes when I'm asleep they run across my bed!!!!!!!  Yuckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!  Get me the hell out of here!!!!!!!



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171,493 I should go to bed... but I'm listening to my toddler son in the next room, mumbling as he plays and falls asleep.  So innocent and filled with hopes that haven't been crushed by realities of life.  Hard to imagine that in a few years he'll want the door shut and privacy away from his parents.  I should appreciate these moments more.



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171,492 I love my boyfriend's Facebook feed.

He has one female coworker that is posting a day by day look into the minutia of her relationship. Pics & video of them hanging out, her fighting with his child's mother, details of their sex life. There are many proclamations about them never leaving each other and till death do us part. They recently posted pictures of their names tattooed on each others body. Relationship time span? 2 months. Perfect strangers before they met 2 months ago.


He has another male friend that wrote an incredibly long post about how he maintains his happy marriage. Time married: 6 months. His wife does not now, nor has she ever lived in the country.

This is almost as entertaining as Netflix!



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171,491 It's ridiculous someone would use a hand file to dull a sharp edge on a tooth! Me, I used a high speed dremel tool.



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171,490 When either me or my husband burps or farts, I think it's funny. When anyone else does it, I think it's hideously gross. Not sure if it's just me or if everyone feels that way.



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171,489 I have to admit, there's a part of me that likes hearing about mass shootings. The truth is, we all like hearing these stories. It gives us something to talk about.



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171,488 when we talk, when it drifts from fun to a tad inappropriate, i wonder how wet you get



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171,487 My Bonnet Hair Dryer is not working so well. Oh well, live and learn.

-A Male



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171,486 When my wife goes for a run, which is almost every day, she wets her pants. She thinks I don't notice, and I never say anything. I don't want to embarrass her. But it's hard to miss her soaking wet underpants which smell of urine. Even her sneakers are smelling of urine because the pee runs down her legs to her feet. I imagine this is an indication she will have bladder control problems as she gets older. Oh joy.



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171,485 When I was younger I had some bad, bad dandruff.  I think a lot of us kids did, though.  Mine was so bad that I would sit at my desk in my bedroom, run my comb through my hair for 30 minutes, and just comb out tons of dandruff that I would carefully scoop into a small pile.  I would mush it between my fingers and feel how greasy it was.  I didn't do this just once or twice, I did this dozens of times.  Then when I was out of college I bought some Head & Shoulders.  Completely eliminated the dandruff in three days.  I haven't had a problem since.

In retrospect, it was completely gross and indicated a hygiene deficiency, but I was a teenager.  I didn't even know I had a problem.  I can't understand how in 20 years my parents never noticed the dandruff falling out of my hair and tried to correct it.  Is it normal for parents not to notice their children's hygiene issues?



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171,484 I've been trying this special shampoo to get rid of dandruff.  I don't have it bad, but enough to annoy me. The shampoo is based on crude oil. There's actually black oil mixed in. I don't know the science. Maybe someone noticed that men working on oil rigs don't get dandruff. Whatever. It works. No more dandruff. Of course, there's that slight issue where I smell like diesel fuel.... but there's an upside, no one dare smoke a cigarette around me or we'll all go boom. lol.



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171,483 Gay male couples adopting "throw away" orphan black boys. That's just so wrong.



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171,482 I once broke the porcelain off a crown on one of my molars. It left a sharp edge. I kept cutting my tongue on it. I used a metal file in my mouth to take off the sharpness. Worked great. It was the same file I use to sharpen the teeth on my chain saw. So it already had experience working on teeth.



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171,481 My wife is downright militant about monogamy. Cheating, it will never happen. Threesome, it will also never happen. She will get entirely angered if I were to even look at porn, let alone another woman.

But why?  This is what I don't get. Why is it bad to have some fun?  What is she afraid of? I think any woman who refuses to enjoy sex in all it's forms, including with other people, is terribly insecure.



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171,480 Breast feeding moms in the news, I know it's your right to breast feed where ever you want. But why would you want to pop your boob out in a crowded restaurant? I'm thinking it has less to do with you wanting to feed you child, and more to do with causing trouble. Kind of pathetic that you use your child as a way of drawing attention to yourself.



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171,479 Lol. Photoshop queen , your husband show me pictures of your almost naked I know what you look like without Photoshopping your self so please stop and also horse face I seen her naked with my own eyes and the pictures you post look nothing like her. First of all she has a c section scar, some stretch marks and a little of loose skin on her abdomen and while she is fit her she doesn't have a 6 pack or even a four pack and her legs are not the tone and her butt is not the big .



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171,478 You don't supposed to wear any panties with them.



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171,477 I used to think it was because I had grown up and met more people, but I've now been watching for 50 years and have to face the truth; my parents are not as smart as I thought they were. And through watching eight hours of FoxNews/day, they're getting dumber by the week.



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171,476 I still might kill myself. I don't think anyone will care though



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171,475 I wonder if the reason some of us continue to please others even though we know we cannot is related to the part of human nature that wants what it can't have.



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171,474 Panties should always be under pantyhose. I wouldn't have thought that would be a secret to anyone. If you don't want them covering your panties, to look more sexy, then why not wear stayups or even suspenders?



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171,473 May you reap it, sugar

For you sure done sowed...



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171,472 The only males I truly trust are my father and my dog.

I'm working on making my peace with that, and having a helluva good time along the way

got my own game to run I'd give up for the real thang
But yeah,
They all just nasty in some kinda way...
"Learn their kink and then work it"
Is a motto of mine...

But yes,
Men, you rule the world
Don't stop believing that, please
It works to my advantage when I work it

"As long as I can
As long as I have to..." And I will miss the day when I cannot, though I have a taste of the loneliness now...
I wonder what your loneliness feels/will feel like...



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171,471 You're making me feel like a goober.



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171,470 I have considered resorting to magick



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171,469 My hub is not always the best in the personal grooming and hygiene department.



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171,468 My life is a series of mistakes. I quit a dream job and have regretted it ever since. I married the wrong wife. I should have married a girl I was dating ten years earlier. I moved to the wrong part of the country. I hate it here. No one to talk to. Basically I've done everything wrong. With this recent epiphany, I set out to right my wrongs. I want a divorce. I want to move 3,000 miles away and get a different job. What I need to sell this beast of a house. Divorce my wife. Move across the country.  In that order. But it all hinges on selling my house. If I can't sell, then my ex-wife will get to live in it while I pay her bills. Not acceptable to me. I want nothing to do with her anymore. My fucked up life is now controlled by the real estate market. I'm totally screwed.



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171,467 I lick my lips until they get red and sore and bleed. It's an obsessive pattern I have trouble breaking. Luckily there's chapstick. It soothes my lips and I stop abusing them.

But the same mind that obsesses over licking my lips, also obsesses over women. Imagine what I do when I get interested in a woman. Unfortunately there is no chapstick for this kind of ailment.



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171,466 In this past year I've been having these mental spasms where I can't read or think or make sense of anything. One minute I'm fine and the next minute I'm staring at a page of letters and I can't formulate them into words. I see the letters and there's a vague sense in the back of my head that they are supposed to mean something. It lasts for 30 seconds and then suddenly I'm back to normal and can read again. I suppose I should be concerned, like I was having a stroke or some such. But everything comes back to normal so it's probably nothing, except it's a little scary.



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171,465 i think friendship is something i will never understand, the people i love are so nasty to the people i care about, and they don't even see me in the middle



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171,464 Everyone deserves to have a loving partner who won't cheat on them. If you're thinking of cheating, do your partner a favor and break it off with them and then do what you want. To do anything else is devious and makes you a fucked up person.

Boy am I glad that I married someone who only has eyes for me (and likewise). If we ever got to the point where either of us needed a thrill, we'd go have sex with someone as a couple. That's real fucking love.



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171,463 my bf turns the stupidest shit into arguments. he offered to buy me vitamins-- I tell him to look in the bathroom at my current kind so he can get the right ones. He yells at me that the cap is off and the pills inside must be from something that I made all by myself and tells me that I never had any vitamins to begin with.

where does he get this elaborate shit from? why can't he just shut up and say OK? Don't try to be nice to be and then do something like that.



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171,462 If I was a woman and read this site, I'd be terrified of my spouse's (or future spouse's) fidelity. Let me tell you, there are stand-up men who love their significant others and who wouldn't cheat given any opportunity. Or at least I'm one. No medals, no trophies. Beside the one I married and love to be with more hours than there are in the day. There are plenty of snakes but don't count us all out because of them.



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171,461 My childhood bff and I have drifted apart.  It's been that way for a few years now.  She's started posting depressed-sounding things on facebook, about how she's tired of the world and everything is meaningless and awful.

It kind of sounds like she wants to kill herself.

Why doesn't that make me feel anything?



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171,460 It has been several years since you chose her over me.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and what could have been.  But our timing was off.  You are clearly both so happy with your little family - you moved forward.



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171,459 To be with just one person ....Women are ok with it, but men have to force themselves to do it.
It's not natural.  If they do succumb to it, they let themselves go.
Women...all men talk about other women behind your backs.  We crave fucking some "strange".



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171,458 My roommate wants to study with me this evening. I told her I'm not feeling too well. I was hoping she'd go to the library alone. Now she says she wants to stay with me in the dorm and take care of me. Arrrr! I feel fine! I want her to go to the library without me so I can be alone and relieve some of my pent up sexual energy, if you know what I mean. She wants to stay and take care of me? I don't think she knows what that might mean! LOL!



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171,457 Driven by your dick. Men are weak.



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171,456 The older I get, the less I feel the urge to cheat on my wife.  Maybe I'm growing up some?



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171,455 Marriage is tough, especially considering we all have flaws. A person that spends every last dime and isn't self-supporting basically has very little ambition or shame. This is a major fault, in my opinion. If this is all, it's tough, but it's not impossible to overcome. (separate finances, yes, go for it) When I think of the list of major flaws I had to deal with, I sigh with relief knowing that I am divorced.



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171,454 Sexiest thing ever, a woman wearing a cowboy hat.



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171,453 Sometimes I post on cavecanum. Sometimes I post on facebook. Sometimes, like 10 minutes after I've posted, I frantically log back in to make sure I didn't get confused and post an explicit sex secret on facebook. That would be very embarrassing.



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171,452 When I was single I used to tease my date into taking off her underwear while we were sitting in a restaurant. What an f-ing hot game to play. I can't remember any woman ever turning me down. I miss those days.



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171,451 WTF? In my state, all taxpayers have to pay to get smokers to quit. It isn't the responsibility of the smoker to pay to get himself off cigarettes. Somehow it's up to me to pay for his treatment. What a twisted world. Someone gets hooked on a vice and it costs me money.



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171,450 A couple a times I've undressed a woman to find she was wearing panties over her pantie hose. Isn't it backwards? Shouldn't the panties always be under the pantie hose?



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171,449 I'm Facebook friends with a smoking hot young woman in Canada.  Tight body, huge tits, cute face, and tatted up like a woman who likes to fuck.  The problem is that she has a dog boarding and grooming business.  She must smell like wet dog.  There goes my boner.



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171,448 seven co-workers in a confined space - FOUR smell like cats .. i can't - like, do you let your clothes bathe in cat litter - do you sleep with them? what makes you a grown person smell like kitty litter every morning?



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171,447 to the guy with the spendthrift wife.....cut HER spending...generic EVERYTHING you want nails done? go to dollar tree and get press ons.....you want your hair colored? buy the box....11 dollars at walyworld.....put a password on your joint accounts and credit cards before they can be axcessed....but only you know it.....selfish pigs need to be taught and reined in or they become wolves....im so sory you worked so hard to have her showboat her insecurity.....take care great dad who works hard  :-)



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171,446 Women should trim their pubes into just a small patch. Very sexy. All women should do this except redheads. Redheads should leave a wild bush. That's the point of being a redhead, to have red pubes. Never trim them.



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171,445 My therapist is the only one who really knows me. He's the only one I feel safe around.



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171,444 I'm so sad. My wife is out of control with selfish spending. I had saved up $2,000 in our bank account so I could give our children a good Christmas. I was going to buy things online today. I checked the balance. The account only has $300. I thought I had been robbed. I frantically called the bank. I found out my wife has used the money to buy Christmas presents for her nieces and nephews. She has to show off to her siblings. She has to look like a rich person and buy their children presents. My wife doesn't seem to care that there's very little money left to buy our own kids much of anything. I feel like buckling over and puking. I worked months to get that money. She used it for someone else's kids. Now I really am going to be sick.



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171,443 Whatever Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo) is orchestrating on Yahoo it is messed up. I have been with Yahoo for ten years. My email, websites and daily news, all from Yahoo. My email is totally screwed up.  Can't get into it going on two weeks. All they keep saying is they are working on it. My website(s) support?  Ugh. Where they used to shine with awesome support they effing stink now. Now they have an 'incident number' that must be obtained before one of their non-English speaking assistants  can assist. Yet they can't assist and put me on hold for 60 minutes at a time. Marissa and her role-playing shenanigans (that's another story)  has to go. She is a bad joke.



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171,442 I think the issue with monogamy is that some people confuse wanting companionship/sex with wanting a relationship. Know yourself; know what you want. The secret is that you have to want to give yourself and receive someone. If not, that's great, but you have to seek likeminded folk who don't need commitment attached to sex. Otherwise don't mislead your S.O. (and yourself). People will just get hurt.



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171,441 I'm a man, and I actually ordered a Bonnet Salon Hair Dryer.



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171,440 You're 17 years old.

A liar, a manipulator just like your mother before you. Quite a shame that the both of you lied to me for months before I figured it all out.

Now, because I caught you in those lies and manipulative behavior, held you accountable, you do not want to have an honest and loving relationship with me.

You can't even admit that you manipulated the situation. So here is the definition for you "the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive." Lying to your father over where you are sleeping for months on end and your mother engaging in the lie would certainly fit the definition. All so that you could get what you wanted. Hope it was worth it!

You, young lady, are in for a world of shit as you grow older. You think you cannot hold on to friends now? Wait until you get into the real world away from your narcissistic mother and her control issues. You are fucked. And as a good father would do, I will be there to pick up the pieces.

You have picked a long hard road. Enjoy the ride.

Such a shame your mother treats you as a friend and not a parent. Covers for your lies like a friend would... I am gonna give you a hint, she is not a nice person. That is why I divorced her.



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171,439 My wife complains about every damn thing in the universe. I switched our home insurance over to a different carrier,  She screams and moans about it. "How dare you change our home insurance!!!!" I changed it because the new carrier is charging us $800 less for even better coverage.  This doesn't matter to my wife. What matters is that she gets to complain about everything I do. I could find a million bucks in bag at the side of the road and she'd complain the bag is dirty. She makes this marriage impossibly difficult. This is heading to divorce. It's all her doing. What surprises me is she doesn't seem to care. I think she'd be happy to be divorced because then she could complain more.



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171,438 Women if you really want to keep your man happy look hot look sexy that is all we want we don't care about you scrubbing the house or running errands if you are smokin hot that is all that matters



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171,437 Why do you always gotta be such a cunt? It really doesn't have to be this way. I used to think this was my fault, but no... I'm now pretty damn sure this is you.



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171,436 We hosted thanksgiving at our house this year. It was our first time. Normally it's at my wife's brother's house. There were 18 people. My wife pulls the giant turkey from the oven while I'm talking to my mother in law, getting her seated at the table. Before I know it my wife's brother's has brought the turkey into the dining room and starts carving it up in front of everyone oohing and ahhing. Not for nothing idiot but it's not your place to carve the turkey in my house. It's a trivial thing but so typical of my wife's family. They always need to control everything.



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171,435 All these articles blaming men for modern relationship issues but seriously, a prostitute is in all metrics a better deal than a girlfriend.

They costhe less,  make a effort to improve your mood, they listen, don't play stupid mind games to boost their egos. Sure there are downsides but hey, when you are broke your girlfriend will just cause more trouble for you and there are less chances of picking up a social disease, you know you aren't the only guy the prostitute has been with today but with a girlfriend it's not if you found out that she cheated on, it's when you find our that's she's been cheating on you.



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171,434 Achievement unlocked:
Get drunk before 6AM while watching porn.

I owe my thanks to telecommunicating and a sleeping uninterested wife.



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171,433 I guess I did think about it for a minute. It isn't fair that I forgot, so many times I didn't see. Happy to say that all is well. Things have returned to their natural state.



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171,432 A few years ago we were friends with another couple.  They had three daughters who are all fucked up.  One is 20 years old and does not know how to flush a toilet.  You would go to their house and there would be a turd floating in the toilet.  All three daughters were the dumbest human beings I have ever met.  They all were vain as hell, too.  Mama bear would post pictures of them of FB and tell them all how beautiful and wonderful they were.  I am pretty sure all had eating disorders as well.  They were also your typical high school snobs, only hanging out with the beautiful people and not talking to the normal kids who they grew up with.

Fast forward a few years.  The oldest daughter is working at a swanky hotel in our town.  My other neighbor went to spend the night there and saw her at the front desk.  They said she was the size of a building.  Ha!  In four short years she easily put on 150 pounds.  She is the shape of a square, rectangular building.  I wonder if he mom still posts photos on fb telling us how beautiful her daughters are.

Sometimes the most beautiful people are the ugliest on the inside.



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171,431 I'm so glad I stopped drinking.  I'm glad I stopped the drugs.  I feel like I'm slowing down with the loose women, too.  25 years of craziness.  Maybe now I can just be myself.



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171,430 I was at dinner with my wife, kids, and her family over the weekend.  My 4-year old was getting antsy, so I gave him my phone to play with.  I have 30 games on the thing for him.  I went off for a minute, came back, and there was my phone lying on the table... with a chat conversation open.  My son went to the one game I play where I secretly chat with a woman I've had an affair with.  My wife knows about text messages and Facebook chat, but she doesn't know that some of these games have chat engines in them.  I use these games to chat with women I don't want her knowing about.

Luckily, I had deleted all the prior messages about me wanting to suck her big titties and ride me until I cum all over her.  All there was to read was a banal conversation about our jobs and how much her boyfriend makes.  But for shit's sake, there was the conversation a foot away from her, open on the table, where she could have easily read it!  But thankfully, she didn't even notice the conversation.  She was too busy talking with her family.  Talk about luck.



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171,429 I once called a young woman 20 years younger than me while I was masturbating.  She picked up the phone and I told her I was jerking off.  She was like, "That's gross!  Stop it!  Don't do that!"  But, of course, she didn't hang up on me.  She stayed on the line with me until after I blew my load.

Another time I was on the phone with a woman and told her that her voice turned me on, and that I needed to jerk off while she talked to me.  "No!  Gross!  Stop it!"  I whipped it out and started pounding away.  After a few minutes I told her, "I'm about to cum!"  She responded, "You're so weird!  Stop it!"  As I blew my load I told her how I wanted to cum all over her tits.  Again, she complained a lot, but didn't hang up.  She listened to me all the way through.

Then another time I did the same thing with another woman I know.  "Talking to you turns me on," I said.  "You're making me feel horny and I need to jerk off."  "Really?" she said.  "Okay, go ahead."  And she talked to me, just continuing the conversation like everything was normal, while I told her how much I wanted to stick my dick in her, until blew my load all over the bathroom.

All these women complaining about me whacking off, yet all of them waited until I was done.  They were turned on by the thought of a guy jerking of to them.  And yeah, I'm married, too.



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171,428 I hate this job.  The only good thing is that I get in early, so I can leave earlier and put it behind me.  I enjoy the hour I have alone before people start coming in and ruin my day.  The managers are terrible.  They resent me, micromanage me, and basically tear my work up.  It's ridiculous.  I cannot imagine what it's like to be so angry in my life that I get satisfaction picking on other people.  I only work here for the paycheck, until I can go somewhere else.  Please, Lord, let today be the day I get confirmation on the other job.



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171,427 Hey loser do you get pay by the paragraph? I assume is not a lot otherwise you will not be living with your grandpa . You and the other asshats are hysterical you sit there judging and to top up you only get crumbs as a payment but I guess I seen people do stupid things for a buck( yes I'm talking to you fatty Chris aka horse mouth husband)  I'm just glad that I don't give a rats about your worthless opinion and obviously you and the other are just jealous people.



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171,426 I want to die. I really do. I think tomorrow might be a good day to die.



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171,425 I love to masturbate in front of women because I love the embarrassment and shame of having them watch me masturbate and cum. I only do it in front of women that I respect and who are beautiful.



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171,424 I don't really mean this but I need somewhere to rant it. I look at this girls picture who I used to date and I imagine doing mean things to her, not that actually hurt her but maybe more so bother her or " teach her a lesson".
I know it's kind of evil but in real life, to be fair, I broke it off and told
Her I was having troubling thoughts and that I needed space. I was still raging about her inside even though she did nothing in particular-it's more small behaviors and personality that gets to me... Like how when I see her around, she refuses to look at me so she doesn't have to say hi but she's an adult. I don't really see why I have to say hi either, I'm not into manipulation at all. This is the part of her that infuriates me-- she wants people to be nice to her and she " acts" nice but in fact some
Of her behavior is sort of manipulative and she uses "'innocence" as a defense. When we were dating, she used to be nice to my face and then when people were there-- she was sometimes cold or she ignored me
To make others not feel excluded but It was so obvious I just sat there and rolled my eyes at how lame she was being. Another time,'she wanted to make one person feel comfortable but ended up ignoring everyone else ( my other x and I). In retrospect, I think she was just insecure and a bitch for taking it out on me but what gets me the most is she always claims innocence when in fact she just doesn't want to be self aware of her manipulative aspects . This doesn't make me feel sorry for her... In fact I feel an Increasing dislike toward her... But I also don't feel the need to actively be around her or anything ( note: she was in an abusive relationship before) So... Back to ignoring me for a while at the bar and this is After we break it off... She goes to the next place were at ( we have the same friends) she gets drunk... And unfortunately it's not convenient for Anyone to take her home... So
I take her to my couch. I judge her all night for being so vulnerable as to end up in my couch-- I am like a big bad wolf in this situation but I would never act on it. However, I seriously dislike her sometimes because she seems to think the world is going to be nice to a girl like her who "'can't help" what she does. Oh please. It's not my job to teach her a lesson...'so instead of arguing with her, I told her I need space and to enjoy her nights but she texts me sometimes and I always end up arguing with her because I hate almost wveyerhing she says. I care about this person but I can't stand her and I hope I can find a way to be kind but keep my distance and not have to be particularly nice to her or particularly mean-- that would
Be ideal. She has this reputation for being super nice, but I feel like a bitch for not wanting to be nice to her, nor do I want to be mean.. I just wanna be myself and ignore her or say my truths. How do u talk to someone who is sort of hypocritical with sweet words? Bleh. Anyway yeah hope to be kind and keep a distance.



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171,423 Our 2-year old cries and asks me to take him to the doctor because he has a tummy ache when you are mean to me.



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171,422 I grew up going to church but left when I was ten years old. Fast forward ten years and I fell in love with a wonderful person. Unfortunately, their family is not wonderful and is incredibly abusive to boot. They forced me to convert to their non-Christian religion completely against my will. Every year I celebrate their holidays and I feel like I'm dying inside because my background is worth nothing to them. How can I love and embrace their culture and countries when they tell me through their actions that the way I grew up is wrong. It makes me so sad that my children won't be raised in a multicultural house because of them. Forcing me to convert to a religion I don't believe in destroyed a part of me that I didn't even know was important until it was gone. I'm still as non-religious as they come but a small part of me wants to start going to church every once in a while just to spite these assholes.



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171,421 171417: Well played!!!



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171,420 i don't like it when my boyfriend tells me to shut up. He only does it over text, and I know he's just kidding when he says it...but still. I wish he wouldn't...



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171,419 i love the scent of my pussy right before my period starts.



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171,418 One time while dirty talking during sex, my wife asked me how often I jack off. I told her every day. She wanted more details so I told her how I either do it in the shower in the morning, or I do it in the evening after she goes to bed and I'd stay up watching a movie. It was sexy at the time to talk about it with her. But guys, listen up. Never do this. Never tell your wife you jack off. I don't know how many times since then she's brought it.

We'll be having lunch and she'll ask, "Have you jacked off yet today?"

Or when I'm coming out of the shower, "Did you jack off in there?"

Or when she's going to bed and I'm staying up to watch TV, "Are you going to jack off after I leave?"

Like fucking leave it alone already. It was said at an intimate moment. Don't keep bring it up. It's invasive. It's far too nosy. Just let it fucking go already.



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171,417 I posted a nudey picture of myself online. It was thrilling. It showed everything from my neck on down to my vj. Men would comment about my bod. I went back to the site every few minutes to see what they were saying. I was dripping wet the whole time. A funny thing though. I didn't want my hubby or anyone else to figure out who I was in real life. So I drew a black box just above my breast to block out a tattoo. But I don't have a tattoo there or anywhere! LOL. That way if one day someone said the picture was of me, they'd have a hard time explaining why the person in the picture was obviously blocking out a tattoo and I don't have one!  He he.



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171,416 My step daughter is unbelievably greedy...she was distressed that I married her STEP father because her mom died and told her everything was hers ...she tried toconvinceme that he owed her 42 k because they ever sent her to college. They sent her alright several times but she dropped out every time after about three weeks into the term. She is such a money grubber ...she got shitfaced drunk and hung all over my husband begging him to sign over everything other...please ...when he got a newer vehicle Her first wors were " oh, I want that! " we hadn't even put 50 miles on the car, when we had a family garage sale she walked off with all the proceeds.when senile grandma took $500 bucks out of the bank she kept it instead of putting it in the bank where the money belonged. She tried numerous times to  persuade us to buy a house at the beach with her and her pussywhippedhusband to use as rental property... Seriously? My hubby confessed that he knows she is a hustler ...always waitresses or bar tended ... Never bothered to develop a career but still wants yo live the good lifestyle her well educated mother and step dad provided ... Now she wants all the furniture out if the house she is supposed to inherit so she can sell it at a garage sale. I put my foot down. She'll have to wait...



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171,415 Tim Tebow's gf left him. From what the news have said she can't handle his abstinence (he apparently is a virgin). Poor guy, my guess is he has a cute little clitty instead of a boa.



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171,414 The only thing that feels better to me than coming in a woman's asshole is a guy coming in my asshole.



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171,413 The guy a at the abortion clinic killed an innocent cop , he was just doing his job now he left a wife and two children and. You want to call the guy a hero? I believed abortion is wrong however I don't judge the woman who have them since I don't walk in their shoes. A lot of people that I know are against abortion too however they never offer a solution , not once I heard them say they will take care of those unborn children .  If the government will come with a program that will help the woman by giving them a safe place to stay until they are on their feet even if it takes a few years , I can guarantee you the numbers will drop .   Quit judging instead be part of the solution next time you pass by an abortion clinic offer your help .



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171,412 I'm done being timid
In my sport and in my life

I may falter at times
But this is my vow

Cliche but true
I am certain to miss all the shots I never take



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171,411 I looked up an old work acquaintance online. She was so beautiful and effervescent when I knew her. I wanted her so badly back then but I was too timid to make a move. We went out socially after work once. The bartender hit on her and I sat there and smiled hating every second of it. But I looked her up today and she's gained 50 pounds and looks older and worn down. She also appears to be divorced. It's been 25 years, but still what a change. She would have done so much better with me than with what ever guy she married and divorced. Maybe I'll send her a note. Maybe.



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171,410 The degree of the double standards you appear to hold
Shall always amaze me
The nerve of yo ass!

You needed to be nailed to the wall and get fucked
One way or another...
Glad to help.



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171,409 Bone cancer hurts. You don't know how painful it is. I try my best to hold it in. Sometimes I can't help it though and let out a small gasp. People think I'm weird. I haven't told anyone about it. It's none of their concern. I'm handling this alone. I wish they could cut me a little extra room tho. Don't roll your eyes at me if when I sit down a little grimace is on my face. Don't sigh when you hold the elevator for me longer than you like because I'm not moving fast enough for your tastes. It's times like this that I wish others could feel the pain.



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171,408 I want to fuck my married High Priest so very badly. Three problems: 1. He's handsome 2. I am ugly and 3. Its just so wrong on so many levels.



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171,407 I guy guns down people at an abortion clinic.  He's immediately considered to be the bad guy. But stop and think. The people at the abortion clinic were killing unborn babies. That's seems like a much bigger sin. I think the shooter should be labeled as a hero.



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171,406 It's so obvious my niece is pregnant. Looks like 5 or 6 months to me. She came to Thanksgiving wearing a very baggy coat.  She continued to wear the coat while sitting at the dinner table eating turkey, ignoring pleas from her mother to take the coat off. To her credit I noticed she passed on a glass of wine and opted instead for apple juice. But come on  people, wake up. She's pregnant. She's 20 years old and unmarried. I'm told her boyfriend dumped her a month ago.  Like yea, he realized she's pregnant. What an ass he must be. My sister is either too dumb to notice all this, or is in denial. Either way she better start wising up and get her daughter to a doctor.



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171,405 I know she lied. I know she ruined everything. I know it's because of her I can't seem to date anymore.

But I still get turned on at the thought of her.



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171,404 I want to get nailed hard from behind, but my life is too fucked-up right now to do all the bullshit that surrounds getting sex. Can I just hire a man-whore?



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171,403 Will, I miss you. Asshole.



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171,402 Thcott I Mithes you



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171,401 Over a decade now.  Not one day has gone by where your name has not floated through my heart.



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171,400 miss you, don't know how to feel without you here.



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