secrets


archives




173,399 Another "fat frumpy housewife" here (that's not how I see myself but that's how society would like me to feel). I keep my husband incredibly happy when it comes to sex. Blowjobs at least every other day, sex several times a week. He happens to like plus-sized women (many men do, even if they might not be up front about it), and I like plus-sized men. We have a better relationship than a lot of other couples we know, because we take the time to appreciate each other. Most other "FFH's" I know work ten times harder than our skinny counterparts, but overall we're happier because we know how to keep out partners pleased, without any entitlement due to our looks.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,398 You are so strange.
You shall not put me into a file, for I won't be the one to send a letter

Funny
How you slinked away
Without a final word
After all that came and went between us
Just your dramatic story of sickness
Your admonition to leave you be
And the promise of an update that was not to come

You only disabled the phone you "gifted" me to spy upon me with
Did you like all those pictures and messages
You observed from afar
My crusty liar dear?

Guess I shall never know your perspective
Only my own
And the memories

Happy birthday, baby
Asking anyone to peg you this year?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,397 Fat frumpy housewife (using your words)...i wish i had your openness, willingness...i bet you are cooler than you believe. I bet you rock to be around and i bet you are fun in bed!



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,396 The thing is, I was diagnosed with borderline. But I was using drugs at the time. Which complicates diagnosis. But I suspect it's true.

However... I got clean. I work a 12 step program. I take my meds. I go to therapy. I try and recognize when my thinking is off course. I rarely act on the borderline stuff anymore, but the thoughts still come up.

Untreated, unrepentant, unaware borderline is scary as hell, from both sides. As a "sufferer" (I know how ironic this is, sorry) the person really does believe and feel those things and can't see why no one else can see it. From their perspective, their reactions are apt. It takes a LOT of work to break through the denial, and it usually doesn't happen until someone hits rock bottom. I was LUCKY to end up a drug addict so I could hit bottom and get help.

I'm not saying you should seek a borderline person out. Far from it. But from reading this site, I am SO scared to ever tell a partner about my diagnosis. I want to misrepresent it- "Oh they threw a lot of diagnoses at me before I got clean." etc. But that's the disease talking.

I've spent a few years single, on purpose, because of these fears, and getting myself together. I know the right person is out there. Hopefully he hasn't been reading these boards...



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,395 173389 & 173350 - fat frumpy housewife here. Thank you. You don't know how much your words mean to me. I have a big smile on my face right now and tears in my eyes. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I'm going to sleep a lot better tonight because of what you both said. I'll remember that the next time i feel worthless and unappreciated...



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,394 I'm one of those young people who will absolutely not vote for Sanders. I grew up poor and never took a single handout and I worked hard to get where I am today. I cannot stand behind a candidate that wants to take my money and give it away to someone else. That is something that the President should never do. So many of my young peers are content with living with government handouts, but I am not, as I actually understand the meaning of hard work. I'd sooner vote for Trump than Sanders (although I'm probably going to either not vote at all or write in a candidate).



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,393 Well N.H. has always seemed like it would be better off in the South. Bunch of yahoos.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,392 People should stop putting labels on other people and over simplify the struggle each person has to go through.  BPD isn't just his or her mental illness.  He or she got that way because of overwhelming and prolonged trauma and abuse.  If you can't be supportive and don't have what it takes to be in a relationship with one then leave. You are responsible for yourself. Go see a shrink because you sound like you're the one who is a narcissist sustaining narcissistic rage.  See what labeling does?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,391 Here's to hoping that the Democrats get their act together and nominate Hillary. If they don't they're going to hand the election over to the Republicans and it'll be four years of oppression and rights being taken away :/



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,390 I'm so glad that Trump won in New Hampshire. It's going to be great to see him make America great again!



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,389 173346 - fat frumpy housewife. You should show your husband this site and have him read about the hell on earth many men go through being married to mentally ill women. Married to a borderline myself, you are a dream, all 300 lbs. This site is full of broken men, wishing their wives just got fat. He should thank his lucky stars he married well. It's hard to achieve perfection, no one is the perfect package, but you should know he is lucky to have you.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,388 I must have killed a lot of people in a past life.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,387 If u think I'm ignoring u it might be technical like not sending my message or receiving yours or not letting me post I will never forget u and will always be here to talk to I need someone



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,386 I wish there was a hell for women haters where there were tons of bot women they wouldn't even know they were all alone in their heads interacting with a soulless hallucination they could bend to their will until they bent it so bad they couldn't make sense of it



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,385 173382: Reddit. Seriously. It's a thriving community.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,384 I still love you so much. I just love you from afar now. Doesn't bother me that you are involved with someone else. I figure that it can't hurt in the whole scope of life to have someone have loving feelings towards you. Maybe it will bring you good juju. That's all I want for you.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,383 I know now that you have no interest in me. It's sad because I really thought you were the one. Today is the day I give up.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,382 I'm male. I'd like to have sex with a couple. I'd like to interact with both him and her. I'm not sure how to make this happen.  It's one thing to meet a woman and come on to her. How the hell am I supposed to come on to a couple?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,381 I joined Facebook about five years ago. I joined because there was a group discussing issues related to my town. I wanted to stay connected. For the first few weeks I tuned in a few times a day to hear about what was going on. I'd comment sometimes too.

"What's the best pizza place in town?"

I gave my answer.  In a nasty way some people told me I was wrong and ridiculed me. Like huh? Why is my answer wrong but someone else's answer right. They are both just opinions.

I quickly found out there were about a dozen serial posters who were self designated experts on everything. They each posted 30 or 40 or 50 times a day. It quickly became a turn off for me. So I stopped using Facebook. That was years ago.

Just recently I was noodling around on the computer. On a whim I logged into Facebook. I was still listed as a member of that local group. I took a look. I was shocked. The same dozen people who were on it five years ago were still on it and still posting 30 and 40 and 50 times a day.

Like really, you wasted the last five years of your life being snarly with each other about the best pizza place in town?

What a shame. I wonder what's been happening with their children these last five years? Who has been making them dinner and reviewing homework. Couldn't be these parents. They are too busy posting the same old crap online everyday. Scary. I'm so glad I lost interest in Facebook early on.  Serial posters need to seek help.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,380 Race, gender, education level, income strata, religious denomination, regional affiliation, sports, hobbies, mild perversions or the lack of them, state of health, disability...

What does any of this have to do with loving someone?

And then I run a fingertip down my own list of traits and suddenly it all matters. Every bit of it.

Save Our Souls



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,379 I just had sex with your husband for two hours. He's an amazing lover. You are selfish and delusional for thinking that he wouldn't stray after you stopped fucking him FOURTEEN YEARS AGO! You are out-of-your-mind delusional.

But thank you. He's a kind man and our relationship has brought him (and me) much happiness.

56/f



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,378 Another thing Id like to say is that extreme highs and lows Aswell as environmental responses and spiritual systems being activated are human components not illnesses. We are all ill in our own way.. Some of us more than others. Try explaining to your doctor in five minutes how much u need your spiritual energy for art after being flown thru flashbacks of visualizations of the beginning of the universe and the population smothering itself out black and im nothing and alone dead screaming threw away all dignity and grace. Getting kicked out while being shunned by the one I loved. Going thru all the situational and exceptional and personal often the cause of my problems things that ppl don't see eye to eye on do I not have a right to be who I am? Do I not have a right to control MYSELF???



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,377 I have schizophrenia and bipolar.. I love who I am tho when I'm rational and love those around me. I am often bored with people never life or the universe. I am happy now that someone has seen me and loved my views with me understood my passions. I am calmed. I recently had a relapse of a bad behaviour but I honestly think I was trying to show my love what I am guilty of so she isn't blind. I know I am stable. I am on an antipsychotic however that nearly eliminates certain environmental and spiritual responses and I live with anger and depression because of it. Still I can remember who I am and the Magic I believe in. I am not alone. I am not crazy. I am not hopeless. Some ppl simply can't accept a world like this lying down.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,376 A Princeton University grad should never marry a SUNY grad. It can't possibly work.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,375 Honest to God conversation with my wife.  She calls and says, "You need to pick up our daughter."

I say, "Okay, where is she?"

She says, "I told you already, at 7ᚨ."

"What do you mean you told me already? You just said I have to pick her up. You didn't say 7ᚨ."

"Yes I did."

"Anyway, I didn't ask when. I asked where."

"I already told you when. 7ᚨ."

Sigh. "Please listen, I need to know where I have to pick her up."

"I told you already."

This is what every fucking conversation is like. What should be a simple one word answer becomes an entirely annoying 5 minute conversation. Sometimes I think I'm on Candid Camera.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,374 I caught my ex wife in so many lies. I wouldn't burden myself with confronting her about it, as that would tip off world war three, or gas lighting and rabbit holes of failed logic. My ex came up in counseling, and it usually results in discussions around how afraid we were of her, how every single day was a struggle. I felt certain that if I left her, my life would get better, which it did. I went down the BPD checklist, and almost everything was there. I hate to pile on every time this comes up, but I wish to God someone had made it clear to me, what it was that we were living with. You know, I don't even care that most of our problems were my fault according to her. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I'm just glad i don't have to deal with it anymore; personal belongings destroyed, vehicles wrecked into the side of the house, frequent physical assaults, some of the cruelest things ever said to me, all gone. It gives me appreciation for what I have. But if she meets the pop psychology criteria for BPD and this story sounds familiar, get out, now. Just like others have said, it's hopeless. You may be able to trust someone who aknoledges their own problems with this disorder, and there may be a ray of hope in that case. The really sick ones stay away from treatments and psychologists, because every one else is at fault. Everyone else is the source of their problems. Better to leave them, and soon.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,373 I'm not trying to sound prude or anything, but what business does a married woman have going out with her girlfriends at night dressed up sexy and all? Shouldn't she be going out with her husband and mutual friends and invite those "girlfriends" to join the wider, mutual circle of friends? I'm sure, I'm going to see a lot of angry comments for the above statement, and my comment here is a secret in a sense that I would never say this directly to anyone because a lot of women would most likely hate me.

46/F in a happy relationship



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,372 I came home unexpectedly. I watched my wife get dressed without her knowing I was watching. She was going out with her girlfriends that night. Question.  Why would she get dressed with thigh highs and no panties to go out with her girlfriends? What's her secret?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,371 A word of advice from someone who has been there, done that....if you are romantically involved with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, run like hell. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, but right now! No, you cannot fix it. No, it will not get better on it's own. Yes, it will destroy both of your lives. I recently divorced my wife of 14 years after finally admitting defeat to her disorder, which made our lives a living hell. I spent 2 years in therapy trying to learn how to live with her disorder, and in the end, even my therapist told me I must leave the relationship for my own sanity.

If your wife or girlfriend exhibits the following, do not seek help, seek an exit....you've been warned:

- Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
- A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
- Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
- Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
- Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
- Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
- Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
- Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
- Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,370 My boss just told me he feels like he's losing control over the office staff and needs me to report to work at 8am sharp on the daily. Fuck that noise. I'm a salaried employee and shouldn't have to have a start time - especially since 'god' knows I don't have an end time! I think my coworkers and I need to organize and form a Union.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,369 054, I completely relate. Although it's been over a year since I've left my former job, just thinking about my boss enrages me.

One of the things she'd do is tell you something, and then forget she said it.  Then she'd argue, yell and pound her fists on the desk.

Example:  She asks me to send an email to a new client.  The client has a difficult email address, so she'll spell it for me.  I get my pen ready.  "d-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t-e-m-a-i-l-a-t ... and that's at provider.net." I spell it back to her.  Yes, that's correct.  So I send the email to difficultemailat@provider.net, and copy her in.  I tell her it bounced back.  She looks at her email, then turns to me, incredulous.  "Why in the WORLD did you spell out 'at' ???  It's not 'difficult-email-at, at provider dot net'!!!  It's 'difficult email AT provider dot net!'  I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?"  Her mouth is agape and she has a look on her face of pure disgust at my stupidity.  I tell her that I typed the email exactly as she'd spelled it, and I spelled it back to her.  *fist pound*  "I absolutely did NOT spell it out like that!"  I showed her my notepad where I'd written it out, letter by letter, as she'd spelled it.  She tells me NO, I'm wrong, she absolutely did not spell out 'at,' why would I ever think that someone would put the word 'at' at the end of their email address?!

Another example.  Clients sometimes needed referrals to other businesses.  My boss used two who had very similar names.  One was ABC Inspections, and the other was AC Inspections.  Compounding matters, both owners were named Jim.  One day she's dictating the day's tasks to me as I'm writing them down, and one requires me to email a client with "Jim's number from ABC Inspections."  She doesn't have the time to look up the number, but tells me to Google it, it's in such-and-such town.  I do so, and copy her in.  A little while later, she forcefully wheels around in her chair, demanding to know why I sent the number for ABC when she'd said AC.  I tell her that she told me ABC, not AC.  "NO I DID NOT!!!"  *fist pound*  I show her my notes, where I wrote down ABC, because that's what she said.  "That's not what I said!!!"

She did this not just to me and other coworkers, but to her own family.  One day it's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.  She tells me her daughter will be in in the morning but she won't be in until later, so to have her daughter address some envelopes until she gets there.  Boss calls shortly after her daughter got there and asked what she was doing, I tell her she's addressing the envelopes.  She asks if I showed her around the office and introduced her to everyone.  No, I hadn't.  She says, "Well, that's what you're supposed to do!"  Her daughter just looks at me and shakes her head.  Boss asks to speak to her daughter, so I pass the phone and daughter puts it on speaker while she continues with her envelopes.  It's 10ᛋ, and boss tells her to meet her at such-and-such restaurant down the street at noon.  Daughter hangs up and says she doesn't understand why her mom asked me to show her around and introduce her, she's been here several times and knows everyone and where everything is.

We go about our business and the daughter's cell rings at 11ᚷ.  It's her mom, asking where she is.  When she states that she's still at the office, boss starts screaming so loud that even the secretary just outside the door can hear her.  "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE STILL THERE?!  I TOLD YOU TO MEET ME AT 11!!!"  She says, "No, mom. you said noon."  "NO I DID *NOT* SAY NOON, I SAID 11!  GET OVER HERE!!!"

Daughter lets out a huge sigh and begins gathering her things.  She asks if I heard 11 or noon, and I tell her noon.  Another sigh.  I tell her she does the same thing to all of us.  She says, "Yeah, but at least you get to go home at the end of the day.  Try living with her."

I could go on and on.  I have done and seen many things in this life, I have traveled around the world, I am both smart AND intelligent, and have had jobs that required MUCH more brain activity and analytical thinking than this - but this woman constantly made me feel like I was a stupid little girl.  Although continuing to work there would have been much easier for me career-wise, I just could not continue working in an environment where we were perpetually in a state of DefCon 1.



likes: 3
comments: 0

173,368 My wife lies so much. She lies about what she spends and where she's been. She lies about breaking something, where instead she'll hide it at the bottom of the garbage can and say she doesn't know where it is. She lies about putting a dent in the car, where she says she doesn't know how it happened. But the other driver called the police and I eventually get a copy of the police report signed by my wife admitting she backed into the other car..... but no, she doesn't remember how the car got dented??

I've gone through all sorts of emotions over this. I've gotten mad and frustrated, and I've shown compassion and understanding and tried to get her to see a therapist. Nothing makes a difference.

If it happened once a month. Okay, perhaps I could live with it. But this is multiple times a week she lies.

Most recently I've taken the approach that if she is caught in a lie, she has to explain the lie to our children and apologize. I thought the shame of a grown adult having to admit the lies to our children would embarrass her into stopping.

No luck. In an almost mindless dead-pan way, she describes the lie, says she's sorry, and walks away. It doesn't affect her at all. It's as if some socially conscience part of her brain is missing. It allows her to lie. It allows her to look in everyone's eyes and say she lied without a care.

I'm afraid there is nothing more I can do. Spouses have to be honest with each other. If you don't have that, you don't have a valid relationship.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,367 I have this feeling someplace deep in my bones that one day I'm going to kill myself. Not any time soon, I'm only 34 now but one day in the future, I see myself being sick beyond healing, in debt beyond paying, broken beyond repair. I see myself moving in this direction even though I try to stop it. It seems inevitable. One day, this fight won't be worth it anymore.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,366 Uhhh.... if the school administration is going to send an official email to 5,000 students and parents, make sure the link referenced in the email works.

How long would it have taken to test the link before hitting the send button? Ten seconds?  Is the administration too busy to spend ten seconds testing the link? Instead, all 5,000 recipients should click on a dead link? Does that seem professional and well thought out?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,365 I am so depressed at this job.  I'd rather be unemployed, but I have a family and can't be unemployed.  My boss is a terrible micromanager.  He has no clue how to let a professional work his job.  He constantly needs to be in control, comes out of nowhere with major changes to projects with no regard to where the project is, and then tries to hold me accountable for when his changes makes the project late.  He thinks of himself as some sort of brilliant man who, without him, everybody would be lost and crashing and burning without his constant, teacher-like benevolent guidance.  All it does it stress me out.  God, save me from this place.  Today, please.



EDIT:  I have spent the first two hours of my day fudging a report because he suddenly wants to see data on something he never bothered to check in on before.  Doesn't he understand that you can't just ask for random reports without wasting hours of your employee's time?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,364 You want to meet some assholes?  Then hang out at a church.  You'll meet some serious assholes at a church.

I'm very close friends with this one family that I met at my church.  They're great people.  One day after the service, I'm chatting with the teenage daughter at one side of the entrance lobby while the mom was standing at the other side.  A woman who I barely know walks up to the mom and says, "Don't let him talk to her!  He's a bad man!"  My friend looked at me and her daughter chatting and said, "Who??"  "That man who's talking to your daughter!"  My friend actually blurted out laughing at her.  "You mean James??  A bad man??  Hahahahaha!"

This woman didn't even know me.  But a few people at the church didn't like me.  I had stood up to their bullying.  I assumed that, "in the name of Jesus" or whatever, they decided to spread vicious rumors about me.  At a church.

There are many evil people who hide in churches.



likes: 7
comments: 0

173,363 I used to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I've recently lost all respect for police officers.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,362 I'm the mother of two very friendly smart children. I once had the mother of the school bully come up to me and as her opening statement she said, "You know what the problems is with your kids...."

She then proceeded to tell me everything I've done wrong as a mother. I couldn't help but laugh.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,361 As soon as my divorce is finalized I'm going to put the moves on my wife's closest friend. My wife will be left with no one.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,360 My ex is an ass. I'd never want to be with him again. But when people trash talk him and ask why anyone would want to be with him, etc, I have to bite my tongue...wanna know why, gossipy bitches? He is amazing in bed. Cock, fingers, tongue...he can use them all like no other. He's a jerk, though, make no mistake.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,359 I deliberately made the team stripes that I was painting in the son's room 7 inches on purpose, you know, for good luck.

I also once took scrap wood from a victorian house and replaced part of a sill in the next door neighbor's victorian house.

I didn't tell the homeowners in either case. Boom, secret.



likes: 4
comments: 0

173,358 The part of me that feels male is proud and ashamed of itself at the same time and forgiveness and pleasure go together and I wonder if that is part of or at least possible of the masculine essence



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,357 I sent you a text the other day.  I didn't really expect you to respond,but I just wanted you to know how thankful I am to you for the fresh feeling you gave my life.  

But I think you blocked my number :(

Joe I am never going to get over you, am I?   I have never met someone and felt so strongly so immediately that they were perfect.   How am I supposed to get over perfection? And then go on and be with mediocre?  It's impossible.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,356 So... you found your soul mate.  But he is married.  You push your friendship upon the couple, hoping to break them apart.  Because he is all you've ever wanted.....or is he



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,355 Men who don't try to keep or change women are wonderful.. Men who accept women who want to be together.. Some women want men.. I used to be threatened by men and blame everything on them because I see so many women bended out of their natural shape to meet their desires but women do this too. And women who don't want a man shouldn't use him. I need to change



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,354 Not that it matters, but if the call the refs obviously missed and did not overturn for Carolina was actually called correct, it could have turned the game around....hahahaha sorry who am I kidding....



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,353 I'm glad that I've learned how to distinguish between whether someone is directly attacking me or attacking something else that they perceive.  It isn't me that they see.  It's a line of memories and other shitty people they've encountered, and maybe I reminded them of that.  I'm sorry you have encountered such terrible things.

I hope you feel better someday.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,352 U fail the test of seeing if u care



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,351 Some of my friends have a tendency to be dramatic and mysterious when they are trying to tell me that something is wrong in their life.

I've learned to give them three chances to outright tell me what's exactly wrong.  After that, I drop the conversation.

I'm open for listening when people need a friend.  But I don't have time to waste.

And this isn't things like, "Well, I'm not sure I want to talk about it..."  That's fair.  This is things like... Hinting that they're upset about life, telling me brief things that lack a lot of other context to have me guess what's wrong.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,350 173347
If my wife kept me happy like that, I would never look at anyone else.  My wife thinks the way that you do but has decided she is too ugly to desire.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,349 I'd vote for Mike Bloomberg for President in a second. I really hope he runs.



likes: 2
comments: 0

173,348 I wrote the "everyone else has had more sex than me" secret. I appreciate the advice but I'd sooner divorce my partner than cheat on them. I still do love them dearly, after all. I just regret not having more partners before I got married. It's hard to see everyone around me having crazy freaky casual sex, but being jealous and feeling like I've been left out is not enough to make me betray my partner.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,347 When I meet a guy and we have small talk and he tells me his siblings still live in his hometown, well he's revealing something about himself. The family doesn't have intelligent and adventurous genes. They have safe genes. They stay close to home and will continue doing so for the rest of their lives. Marrying him would be a life of boredom and conformity.

But when I meet a guy, as I did a few weeks ago, and he tells me his brother is a soldier for hire currently working in El Salvador, and his sister works as a translator in Berlin, and his other brother trades equities in London, well then he has my interest.



likes: 2
comments: 0

173,346 I am a frumpy, fat insecure housewife stuck at home with two kids. I am always afraid of losing my husband. I have seen the women my husband works with every day. They are gorgeous, thin and smart career women. They are very nice to my husband, and a little flirtatious. It makes me very afraid. One of them just stopped by to give him the spare work truck keys because he locked himself out of his work truck. She was so damn perky and smiley to see him. Then I get to thinking, he works late. A LOT. He spends way more time with these women than he spends with me and the kids. The only things I have going for me are I am good at cooking and cleaning. I also give him lots of sex because I am afraid of what he will do if I do not give him what he wants all the time. He says he is still attracted to me, but I do not believe him. I know he only likes thin petite cute women with big butts and nice boobs. He's made plenty enough comments in the past for me to know. He has always looked at porn, and the women he looks at do not look anything like me. I asked him about this once and his exact words were "Well there is more to attraction than just looks" or in other words, he was referring to personality. So that tells me right there he likes me as a person but is not attracted to me physically anymore since I have gained weight. We've been together 20 years and married for 16. Since we met I have gained over 150 pounds. I just hit 300 pounds on the scale recently. I have become the kind of woman he used to make fun of. One of his rules was never to be with a woman who has more than 3 fat rolls. I have way more than that...I know he doesn't say anything about fat women anymore because he is trying to be sensitive to my feelings. But I know he still feels repulsed by them.

I feel constantly threatened, by women in real life as well as attractive women on tv and the internet. I know he looks, he just does not say anything. So I always try to be on my best behavior, not nagging, being nice and doing things for him. I try to stay out of his way and not give him problems. Because I know as a fat woman you can't also have a bad personality or he will leave for sure. Pretty women can get away with a lot more, So I try to always be agreeable and nice, I do all the housework and tend to the kids, shopping, meals, sex. on a regular basis ect. ...

I am totally embarassed for him to see me naked but I do whatever he wants sexually anyways. It is especially humiliating when he wants me on top, with the lights on butt naked bouncing up and down. But I do it anyway. I feel like since I am fat and ugly, I have to make up for it by performing well sexually. I basically act like a submissive porn star in bed for him, moaning groaning bouncing and fucking and sucking until I am so tired and sweaty. I don't quit until he has cum. Sometimes this takes an hour or more...and who could blame him? With nothing good to look at except my big boobs flopping around its no wonder he gets off at all....

So I cannot help but wonder and be scared that he is around beautiful smart women all day, then comes home to me a fat housewife whos only real skills involve cooking, cleaning and blow jobs. I know he likes a submissive domesticated woman who stays home, but how long is that alone going to keep him happy? I need to lose weight asap and try to look prettier for him or I fear I will soon lose him forever.

-37/f/married



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,345 She's REAL and I want to keep it that way. I have too many figments rolling around in my life and mind.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,344 I have bad thoughts. By bad I mean socially unacceptable, debauchery thoughts. They invade my head more than anyone could possibly know. If I'm standing there talking to guy, I think how I could drop to my knees and start sucking his cock. I picture licking his nutsack and sticking my finger up his ass. He's just a guy standing on line in front of me at Starbucks. If I'm talking to a woman, the thoughts are evening more disturbing. I can't be alone in this. I'll bet other people do this too. Wild fantasy thoughts because I exchanged a few words with a total stranger. Maybe the guy on line at Starbucks is thinking the same thing and wants me to fuck his ass. In any event, think about that the next time you are at Starbucks. I might be the person standing behind you.



likes: 4
comments: 0

173,343 173340  Your wife is trying to self sooth with retail therapy.  It has nothing to do with practicality.  You will just frustrate the both of you because you try to argue with practical logic while she is trying to make herself feel better.  Why so many black shoes?  Her brain remembers the last time she felt better was buying black shoes so she returns to that behavior to get immediate dose of happiness. She may be feeling sad, inadequate, stressed or insecure or unappreciated... Whatever it is.  Try to find out what is bothering her and sooth her emotionally will save you a lot of money.  If you can't deal with her emotional issues and actual therapy doesn't help then a split would be a logical thing to do..  But vulnerable and open communication may solve this if both sides are willing to talk.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,342 Sometimes I wonder if Facebook Chat is showing suggestions of people to chat with, or to masturbate to.  Because if the chat suggestions come from my page views of other people's Facebook pages, it really could be either.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,341 There are others who would have me believe that they get to choose how much I should value myself.

But the truth is that they have no say in it at all.  I gave them permission to choose how I should value myself, because I thought it was what I was supposed to do.

But nobody gets a say in how much I choose to value myself. That value is that I am no more or less valuable than other people, and they are no more or less valuable than me.  Hierarchy and seeking who is better than or worse than me is just useless ego.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,340 The other day my wife said she was going out. She was heading to the mall to buy herself a new pair of black shoes. I pointed out she already has black shoes and plenty of them. A one-sided argument ensued. She was yelling, I was talking calmly. I ended up going into her closet and showing her 11 pairs of black shoes. Since I was correct, by her rules of engagement, she then had the right to call me all sorts of names as well as knock everything off the bedside table. All because she wanted yet another pair of black shoes.

Break this down for a moment. I spoke to her respectfully and stuck to the facts. She had a tantrum and was rotten as could be towards me.

This behavior happens every few days. Would you stay married to this woman?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,339 Listen up kids. In sports, if you cheat you win. Go ahead, grab a guy's face mask and easily fling him to the ground. Yeah, you might break his neck, but who cares, it's all about winning.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,338 Divide and conquer. I wonder if it is an organically predestined outcome that results when you combine human nature with the American political process. In other words, maybe there isn't some conspiracy promulgated by some nefarious band of oligarchs, that we just have a process that hopelessly galvanizes people against each other. But, maybe not. (and if not, this is where you would want to shake your fist at *the man*) This seems to be a running theme in Howard Zinn's 1492-present. It's pretty clear that there will always be winners and losers. Dwelling on it causes me to lose hope. But I'm reminded of it every time I see posts about this or that candidate. This present presidential election seems very much like a catastrophe waiting to happen.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,337 Ferguson Missouri,

Should've conflagrated into a full-fledged revolution. Not like our pristine revolution against a foreign ruling government, but more like that of France. Where we delivered unto them the guillotine.

Poor in America, born in America, white or black? You're fucked! What's worse, is they have us divided by colour. How foolish are we, have we been, and how did it happen? We are now so blind.

Nope. My family didn't fight for the rebels, we were empire loyalists. However, having paid our dues from the civil war on, ide say I'm entitled to a ln opinion. Especially since my family will be homeless as of this afternoon. Why? That story is as old as i am. Suffice to say, we've a foreign case worker who has housed countless immigrants, and shoved our case to the wayside because were married and of mostly European ancestry. Fuck this broken hypocritical system.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,336 I find unbearably selfish and self entitled people offensive.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,335 Why do I still feel like there's a hole in my heart?



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,334 I wish you would try to talk to me.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,333 A thong and hemorrhoids don't mix.  Don't ask me how I know. :(



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,332 I don't recycle. I find it offensive there are laws dictating how I throw out my trash.



likes: 1
comments: 0

173,331 Science projects. Ugg. Bad memory for me. When I was in high school we had to do a science project as teams. Being a nerdy guy, I joined forces with my nerdy friend. We needed a team name so we called ourselves "The Tinkerers". But we were momentarily confused. We just weren't thinking and wrote down our team name as "The Tinklers". As in a penis while peeing. Yea, that was a good laugh for everyone in the school, the two nerds called themselves the peeing penises. Every variation of the word tinkler, penis, dick etc followed us for the rest of high school. Not good.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,330 I jack off so much using my hand when I'm alone that I can't cum when inside my wife's pussy. We fuck for a while then I jack myself off in front of her. At first I was embarrassed this was the only way I could cum. Then I got used to it. But then she started falling asleep in the 5 minutes it would take me to jack off. That was annoying and pervy, jacking in front of a sleeping woman. I didn't like it. All around my situation is fucked up.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,329 308- up until this yr I've been in the same boat as you. I changed that this yr by cheating on my husband with a married man. I hope that doesn't happen to. Because it lit a fire inside me that I never want to die. I just started what I hope will be a long term affair with a new man. 24/married/f



likes: 3
comments: 0

173,328 I can only get off from oral or clitoral stimulation
33/f



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,327 I notice that a lot of "ugly" girls look really good when they have their hair up. I guess their faces were never ugly, they just needed a new hairstyle. For anyone thinking they are ugly, you're probably not. You just need to find the right hairstyle for you.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,326 Fuck you guys. If it ever actually happens I'm killing you all first. I don't care if that puts me at a disadvantage or I die after. You can't just say I'd be the pussy that would die first, even my own girlfriend teaming up with someone else, and expect me to be like, "ha ha! What a fun scenario!"

Fuck you.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,325 You say I'm still your best friend, yet you treat me like some vague acquaintance from work who you run into twice a year. It honestly feels like you'd be relieved and happier if I disappeared from your life.

Maybe I should stop being nice and walk away.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,324 You came to mind at an awkward time last night.
He was fucking me hard, pulling me closer with his hands gripping my hips.
Maybe it was the drinks, but it briefly felt like you.
I miss you sometimes.



likes: 6
comments: 0

173,323 I'm wondering how a mid-fifties guy would go about finding magic mushrooms. Not something I'd bring up to my kids or at work.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,322 fuckk! this sponsored skater my boyfriend is friends with is so damn sexy...I wanted to kiss him so bad last night, and I think he finds me attractive as well.
I told myself I will never cheat in any relationship, but this guy makes me want to throw it all out the window.
Maybe if I ask him to tattoo me...



likes: 3
comments: 0

173,321 It is sexy when a partner says, "I like it when you do this." and either guides their partner's hand, mouth, or whatever into the "right" spot and uses the "right" motion and/or uses their own hand, toy, or whatever on the "right" spot for a demonstration.



likes: 3
comments: 0

173,320 I've stopped using our secret code ... So now you will have to guess...



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,319 I will always love my ex bf. He was the love of my life. I always fk up things that are good. I'd give anything for another chance.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,318 Still, nobody has taken your place in my heart.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,317 To the girl whose boyfriend just uses her vagina as a finger fuck hole, what the heck are you thinking?? Why would you allow this once, let alone have that be your 'half' of the pleasure in your sex life. Some women have no voice (aka no respect for themselves.)



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,316 deleted



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,315 I have to complete a science fair project this week. After that I have to make a video for French class and write a book report on Pride and Prejudice. All this while working 40 hours a week. Where will I find the time? I'm thinking about actually letting my 9th grader do some of his own homework!



likes: 1
comments: 0

173,314 I love to spoon when i sleep with girls.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,313 Correct me please if I am out of step here but sleeping with someone who isn't attracted to you usually involves some kind of monetary transaction when the deed is done.  I personally see no reason to be in an intimate relationship with someone who plays the maybe-I-want-you-or-maybe-I-don't tennis match which is usually left behind after high school for most people.
I stuck my toe in and saw how empty the pond was.  



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,312 Some nights when I have trouble sleeping I lay in bed and fantasize about killing my husband. I could run him over with the car. This is most practical because I could claim it was an accident. I could poison him. But I've seen the cop shows, they always check for poison. A bullet in the head while he sleeps would be quick and painless, but it would be too obvious I murdered him and besides, I don't want it to be quick and painless. I want him to know he's about to die. I want to see him cry and beg. Anyway, this is what I think about while laying in bed next to him. It might be what your spouse is thinking about too.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,311 I don't really like sex. Or maybe I do and I just haven't discovered what works for me yet. I love my boyfriend so much. We've been together for almost two and a half years but I haven't orgasmed with him yet. His idea of fingering is shoving two fingers violently in and out of me. Half the time I end up bleeding and it hurts. I love him so much that I don't refuse him sex. I want him to have orgasms and I want him to feel satisfied...I guess for now that's good enough.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,310 173253...Life is not easy but you hold on, dont ever lose hope. Take it one day at a time...& dont compare your life to your friends, one day you will be able to look back at your struggles now and be thankful...you persevered.
Be relentless and dont let up nomatter what..i am rooting for!



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,309 I love you and I miss you so much.

I know you are busy doing things that are important to you and make you happy...

But I wish *I* was important enough for you to remember to ask whether the biopsy showed if my tumour is cancer.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,308 That song "everyone else has had more sex than me" is pretty much the theme song of my life. My number is 3, which is astonishingly low, lower than almost everyone I know (I do know one person who only had sex with one other person, not that that makes me feel any better). Now I'm married and that number will never go up. I just have to hope that there's an alternative universe out there where I had tons of casual sex. Not having more partners is hands down one of the biggest regrets of my life.



likes: 4
comments: 0

173,307 My job is giving me an eating disorder. Not because I'm insecure or surrounded by models all day- I'm neither. The thing is, my job can be extremely stressful. It's produce or leave, and those are the only options. This started out that I was so busy trying to produce that I just forgot to eat. Now I actively avoid it because I feel more in control. Sometimes I'll consume as little as 200 calories (or less) during a 9-10 hour work day. I eat like a monster when I get home usually, then compensate by hitting the gym hard... My coworker can tell. She knows I'm not eating. She's too polite to say anything, but she keeps suggesting we get lunch and asking me about my food intake. I've got to get out of this job...



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,306 I very stupidly gave away several leather jackets when I was feeling suicidal.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,305 You can find a date on Craig's list if you're lonely.



likes: 1
comments: 0

173,304 I am so close to achieving a life long dream and yet the smallest misstep could destroy everything. Not just the dream but my entire life as I know it.

Boutez en avant!



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,303 I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,302 You think I hate you because you are gorgeous? I know other girls who are just as hot as you, who DON'T go out of their way to make others feel bad about themselves, and I'm friends with them. The problem is your personality.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,301 Revenge against my keeper would be a pretty shitty reason to get married. I'll give myself ten minutes to enjoy the notion, then I'll get over it.



likes: 0
comments: 0

173,300 You always had a high need to know other's attraction for you.  That's an insecurity I can't deal with.



likes: 0
comments: 0




(c) 2018
home search archives help donate