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175,499 Every year, my wife tells me not to get her anything for her birthday.  She insists I get her nothing for her birthday, that she has everything she needs, and that it would be just nice for us to go to dinner and hang out for a night.  Then every year, she tells her family how I got her nothing for her birthday.

Yep, my Bernie Sanders-loving, Democrat-voting, liberal-minded social worker wife plays the woman card with me, so let's not pretend it doesn't exist.



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175,498 Have you ever waited for a man to open the door for you? Have you ever expected a man to pay for the dinner? How you ever expected flowers on Valentines Day?

You are playing the woman card.

But now y'all want to pretend that doesn't happen?

LOL.



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175,497 About the "woman card":
Democratic women are so sensitive and easily offended but when a woman reporter Julia Somebody writes an article about Melania Trump for GQ the gloves come off. Melania is called dumb with reptilian eyes and a plastic face. Becaused she had a career as a model she is made out as something close to a prostitute.
No Democrat is offended when another woman is disrespected- no it is OK as she is married to a Republican! In America it is OK to kill your parents but please just don't be a Republican or a racist!
Melania Trump is not running for office she just happens to be Donald Trump's wife. He loves her and that is all that matters.She also happens to be the mother of one of his sons and his wife for eleven years.
If Bernie Sander's wife Jane is called fat stupid an ugly ,these democratic women will go crazy and the writer will be called every name in the book.Rachel Maddow might have a heart attack life TV. Please don't even mention Hillary's pantsuits or haircut or husband !
Why are people surprised when people are voting for Trump and Sanders? Americans are so sick with all this bullshit and double standards.



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175,496 I just bought a house that has a garage and a shop area. Now I can have all the power tools I want for my projects.
Life is good.    f/59



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175,495 Best thing I ever did was buy all my own tools.  Lawn mower, power drill, yada yada.
I am woman hear me roar.



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175,494 The things is, a woman does sometimes play the "woman card". I'm not trying to be offensive. We all know that's true. You can't help paint the house, that's men's work. You can't help mow the lawn, men's work. You can't drive two hours to grandma's house. men's work.

People love to get mad at Trump when he mentions the truth.



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175,493 There are some heads I wouldn't mind seeing mounted on a pike.



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175,492 A wise woman once said "fuck this shit" and then lived happily ever after.



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175,491 I'm looking for my "woman card"... can't find it... must be next to my "white privilege" that I can't find, either.

Seriously, there are some brainwashed people out there.



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175,490 I might have considered voting for Trump but he is such a virulent misogynist that I can't bring myself to support him. It's one thing to hate Hillary Clinton because of her disastrous policies (hell, that's why I can't vote for her either), but saying petty crap like the "woman card" is a low blow. That is the kind of disgusting institutional sexism that Hillary has to deal with every day, just like the rest of us. Find me a Republican candidate that doesn't constantly put down women and treat us like second class citizens, and I'll vote for them in a heartbeat.

Wow, people on this site are absolutely sick. Of course the Men's Rights Activists will take it over with stories disparaging women. If they claim that we use the "woman card," then they must admit to using their "male card" to earn more, have more power and live in a world with less abuse directed towards them (no one attacks a male politician for being unfit to lead because they have a penis). But of course they won't, because admitting that women deal with sexism, harassment and the odds stacked against them in every walk of life goes against their pathetic "war on men" narrative.

Shit like this is why we need a female President, even if it is Clinton. Electing a woman will strike fear into the hearts of all of the scumbag MRAs who are so weak that the only way they can feel better about themselves is by keeping others down.



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175,489 My sister in law had an abortion after she was married for a year. She and her husband decided decided they weren't ready to stop partying and raise a kid, so she aborted the baby and went right back to living the good life.

About 5 years later she became pregnant again. This time she had the baby.

Sometimes in conversation she talks about how her first child scored a goal in soccer or whatever. And I want to say, "First child? Don't you mean second?"



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175,488 485, you sound like a clear thinking nice person. Advice from a stranger, get away from him. He hit you? Not acceptable. Also, he sounds immature and insecure. Very bad combination. Plenty of nice guys out there. (Like me.)



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175,487 I dated a girl for 5 years. We meet while we were both undergratues in college. We continued dating as she went to medical school and I decided to pursue a PhD in chemistry. We were going to be the power couple, or so I thought.
While we were together,it was all about her needs and wants. If it worked out for the both of us great,but if it things did not work out for me, I was just shit out of luck; as she did not care about my needs and wants. I tried talking to her and explaining how her selfishness made me feel and was destroying our relationship.

One day, she came home and told me that her course work was more difficult than mine and that if I really wanted to challenge myself, I should have gone to medical school. I reminded her that I scored higher than her on the MCATS (35 VS 31), and that I choose graduate school because  i was more interested in research and problem solving. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. Finally, I decided to get of the relationship as I was loosing myself as I was more and more unhappy.

After, the breakup, we both dated other people, but managed to remain friendly as we had spent very important years of our lives together. She finished medical school and went on to her residency, while I got my PhD in chemistry and went on to a post doctoral position.

A year later, she called and told me that she was getting married in two weeks to another Physician. I was happy for her and wished her well. I was dating a great girl and was very happy. Six months later, she found out from my brother that I was engaged to my girlfriend. She called me and explained how mad she was that I did not tell her, and that my fiancé was not good enough for me because my fiancé was not a doctor. Hell in fact my fiancé only had an associates degree. She also mentioned that I was her best friend, and so I should consider her opinion about a girl she had never met.

I explained to her that my personal life was not her business and that I was very happy and hoped she was happy as well. A few months later, she calls me complaining about her husband. I told her that she should talk to him about their issues, and I wanted to stay out of their problems. Well fast forward one year, I find out that she is getting a divorce. She had married someone that was just as selfish and it just could not work between them.

As for my fiancé and I,we are planning a great wedding in three weeks, and have continued to be very happy. She has always made sure that my needs and wants are taken care of. I have and will continue to do the same for her. She may not be a Physician or have a PhD, but she is extremely smart, has a great job,is fun,thoughtful,and oh by the way my best friend. I would have it no other way.



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175,486 I'm sorry that you're upset after finding out the world doesn't revolve around you..here, let me pour you a nice cup of get the fuck over it.



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175,485 The only thing I love about you now is that you aren't around anymore.



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175,484 My boyfriend wants me to stay with him more.  He was telling me that one day and I was listening, not saying anything back.  We eat, and then afterwards we start fooling around, im naked, sucking him off.  I can see on his face he's getting a mad look, don't really know why because hello, his cock is in my mouth.  Then he starts like "this is fuckin bullshit" getting mad, yelling, basically it has to do with him wanting me to stay over more.  We had also broken up a couple of years ago for a year, and he brought up that time we didn't see each other, like "u don't give a shit about me, that's why u stayed away".  But all this while i was naked, on my knees, sucking his dick.  is that abusive?  idk.  i ask myself that because when we were together before the breakup, he had slapped me from time to time, and was verbally abusive.  Since I've gotten back with him he hasn't laid a hand on me.  But stuff like this...what man chooses when his girl is naked sucking him off to start yelling?  Not sure what to do.



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175,483 All those airhead celebrities saying they will leave the country the country if Trump is elected.

Trump doesn't miss a beat. "I'll be doing the country a favor"

Absolutely right on. Don't let the door hit you on the way out Whoopi. Good riddance.



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175,482 You know why the process of political parties choosing their candidates has to be more democratic? Because taxpayers are footing the bill. The political parties don't pay for their primaries. The rest of us do. And if you are making ALL residents pay for the primary election, then each vote should count equally.



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175,481 It is true that some people benefit from the Obamacare however that rates went up and co pays for some like my  family.  I don't hate Obama and I'm glad some people were able to benefit from it but it's a very flaw program . Wouldn't be better if every person was able to buy health insurance outside that state , like we do with car insurance ?  What about hospitals and other health care providers bringing down their ridiculous prices for basic staff?  Why does it cost more money to have X-rays in one state and almost 4 times more in another one? Why most insurance even with Obama care barely cover Ot , speech therapy or Ot ?  The whole health system is flaw , when I go to the store there's price tags every where telling you how much an item cost . Why I'm not able to know at front when I go to a hospital?  This country needs a better and more affordable health system for all not just some .



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175,480 For those of you that bemoan Obama for "ruining the healthcare system", you need to really get a clue.  Truth is the "healthcare system" was fucked up WAAAAY before Obama came in.  Remember not being able to leave your job because you had a "Pre-existing condition" and would be un-insurable with your new employers health insurance if you left?  I do.

Remember your kids not being able to afford insurance and not being able to get on your plan because they were too old (ie- 25!)  I do.

Remember insurance companies being allowed to cancel your policy because you got sick and they didn't want to keep paying out on the policy?  or having a cap and once that was reached, you're done?  I do.

Obama care fixed all or most of that.

Also, the idealized memory of your independent doctor in his own office with his hands on getting to know you approach was dead LOOOOOOGG before Obama.  In fact, it was the insurance companies killing doctors and squeezing their reimbursements that forced doctors in to larger and larger practices where they are employees now, rather than solo practicing doctors.

At least now you cant be denied coverage because you are sick and your kids can get insured.  

Obama care may not be perfect, but do not forget for a second how bad it was before an how Obama care saved a lot of people.

Oh, BTW, the rich can still get he best health care in the world, so don't bitch that some previously uninsured people can now get some health insurance.



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175,479 I had sex with one black woman.  It was by far the best sex in my life.  
48 YO White male.



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175,478 Call me a pervert, but I want to try lots of kinds of men before I settle down and get married. It sounds horrible, but I'm a grown woman capable of telling a man I want him for sex and nothing else. Fuck, you'd think that would be simple for everyone. Oftentimes it is for me.

The only problem is that whole "once you go black, you never go back" thing is kind of accurate in my mind. I've been with 15 white men and 2 black men, and the best sex I've ever had (multiple orgasms and everything) was with a black man. He was better at sex than my first love, and I never even fell in love with him! THAT'S some good sex.

I still want to try a redhead though. Maybe another woman. White women look so easy sometimes, especially at bars. I also want a musician so I can make music and sex with them and cross those emotional streams. I want someone pierced and tatted, not quite the crust punk kind but almost. I also want one of those all-American white boys with the broad shoulders and narrow waists and pretty blue eyes. Yum. I also think I'd want to try an English man again, if only for the accent. I definitely want a grizzly bear too, one of those chubbier guys with a beard and a big heart. Though that last kind I'd probably date, because cuddles <3

Is this how guys feel when they say they're attracted to all types of women in different ways? I understand now boys



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175,477 Sometimes I get really happy because I've met lots of little goals for myself as a young adult. These goals were ones I set as a kid, but it still means a lot that I've achieved them.

1. I've always wanted to be skinnier. Now I'm perfectly fine with my body, though I could use some time at the gym to feel healthier internally.

2. I used to fantasize about getting an apartment with my best friend in high school. 7 years later we're still best friends and about to move in together this month!

3. I always wanted to be emo. I had a crazy emo phase in high school, but now I can rock the leather boots, leather jackets, dark lipstick and eyeliner. If it makes me look creepy it's almost twice as good!

4. I wanted to be able to approach a guy if I thought he was cute instead of being shy and feeling too worthless. Now I'm the person handing out rejections (not in an enjoyable way, that's just to say people actually think I'm attractive now)

5. Most of all, I wanted to be comfortable with myself as a person, even with my flaws. I wanted to not just feel okay with being me, I wanted to LOVE being me! And I really, really do sometimes.

6. I wanted someone to be my sexual mentor so I could learn how to perform kinkier sex acts...now I've been talking to someone who'd love to teach me about BDSM very personally. ;)

There are always sad days. There are days when I'm scared of my future and what I'll become. But when I think about these things, these small ways I've become the person I've always wanted to be, it gives me hope.



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175,476 STUPID FUCKING UTERUS! CANT EVER GET IT RIGHT! I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET A ROOM WITH MY BOYFRIEND TOMORROW..  I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN ALMOST A MONTH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINALLY GET SOME DICK TOMORROW, BUT NO! STUPID AUNT FLO HAS TO SHOW UP IN TOWN TWO FUCKING WEEKS EARLY! THERE'S NO POINT IN EVEN GOING ANYMORE! CAUSE ITS JUST GONNA BE ME, GIVING HIM HEAD, AGAIN! ...YEAH, HE'LL BE HAPPY. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!



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175,475 I don't dislike Obama because he's black.  I dislike Obama because he's a socialist ideologue who destroyed the health care system.  I'm pretty sure I would dislike a white guy who did the same... like Bernie Sanders, for example.



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175,474 Hey creepy old guy , quit coming here . You have no business sniffing around outside my place . Seriously this lousy neighbor and his grandson need to pack and moved away from here .



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175,473 Why can't people seem to understand that there is nothing written anywhere that says the process that political parties use to choose their nominee has to be "democratic"?



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175,472 460 I'm really with you. He was so different than anyone I ever met. I just really wish he could see me the way I see him...It makes me so upset that he just wanted to hook up and never call back but it's whatever :(



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175,471 Don't ever buy into the manipulation and coercion of an abusive person. They will ALWAYS make you think that you are at fault for the problems in the relationship. They will act out in childish anger, destroying your property, your dignity, your self respect and eventually, your health.

My God, to think that I wanted her back after she left me.  The guilt and shame I felt for all the things I " did wrong" while she contually justified her sick , psychotic behavior.

If you're in an abusive relationship, get the fuck out already.  They will eat your soul like cancer and destroy you from within. After a while, you'll be too codependent to think for yourself if you stay.

Four years ago, I knew I should have run away, I didn't because I thought I could help change her. No fucking way. She told me about her past relationships, how they always ended and how toxic they interacted.

Ours was no different, except, it was the worst ending of them all. At least how she described the others to me.

I'm glad we're over now. This is really the best birthday gift I could have given myself.  

Moving forward as a more enlightened being.  Thanks for the life lessons!

I forgive you. More so, I forgive ME for the mistakes



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175,470 I'm a 59 year old middle class white guy. My secret?  I love gospel music. Especially black gospel music. Actually, only black gospel. I would join a black Church that had a great music program in a heartbeat.  Of course my family would have me committed.



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175,469 We had sex yesterday. I didn't see that coming!  

55/F



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175,468 So how does this work? The residents of Pennsylvania overwhelmingly voted for Trump. There are 71 delegates at stake. Trump only gets 17 of them. The other 54 are free to choose Cruz.

This is Democracy?

People, you are being bamboozled.



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175,467 My mother sold the rocking horse I was on when I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I think that was the last time I saw my father in my childhood home before he died. My mother says she thinks the divorce traumatized me.  I think I agree. There is no joy in just being, anymore.
-i'm having a hard time



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175,466 You know how we looked at Russia during the cold war, saying their people were brainwashed into thinking they were right, and we were wrong.

Or more recently, we look at North Korea and shake our heads at how their citizens don't get it. They fail to see how evil they are.

But news flash, America has a very dark past. We have been just as brutal and demonic as the nations we now refer to as the axis of evil.

The brutality used against the native Americans. The Civil War where we killed our own. The McCarthy era where we jailed people for their thoughts.

Make no mistake America, you are being brainwashed into thinking you're some kind of gift to humanity. But you are not. Take a step back. Look at the greed of Wall Street. Think of how you are being force to pay a week's salary for a drug to keep your son alive.  And then there's $4 gasoline -- wait, remind me, what oil tanker sank? What oil pipeline was blown up? None! So why did you suddenly have to pay so much more for oil?

They are working you. They figured out they just need to give you enough space to watch TV in the evening while eating a microwaved burrito, and you won't complain.

You're being played America.



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175,465 There was always some heat between me and my wife's sister.  Never boiled over and nothing ever happened, but it was there. Years go by and things change she had kids, we have kids, etc.  Then she gets divorced and 3 years later my wife has a short lethal bout with cancer.

Six months plus one day after my wife passes on I get a phone call from Ellen. She will be in the area and can she stop bye on Saturday for lunch. "Can I",  she asks.

"Sure" is my answer, and I knew then what would be.

Ellen arrives and walks in. We go to the kitchen and I turn on the water for coffee and we are talking.   It was not even 2 minutes when she walks to me and puts both her hands on my face and draws me to her lips for a full kiss, then another.  I turn off the water grab her by the hips, spin her around, and walk-guide her through the house to the bedroom. She is undressing herself all the way. The literal trail of shoes, belt, shirt and at the foot of the bed everything else.

We keep it low key and quiet for 9 months before we tell the family we are dating, then 3 months later get married.  Everyone is happy I waited a year out of respect. Best that secret is kept to just us.



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175,464 Your wife is an older, less cute version of Zooey Deschanel. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm a much hotter version of Natalie Portman. Well, kinda sorry.



Not really. Your loss.



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175,463 Now maybe Cruz will go back to Canada and leave us Americans alone.



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175,462 My iphone was stolen from the Rec Room at church. Now I've seen it all.



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175,461 People give up themselves to have kids. It's not worth it. The kids will turn on you. They need to. They need to break away. If you think you'll have kids and it's all happiness and you'll have friends for life and a place to always go on Thanksgiving, you're dreaming.



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175,460 I never expected to fall so hard. It was suppose to be a hook up and that's it.
But he discovered something in me I had buried so long ago.
And now, I can't imagine life without him.
What we share is what dreams are made of.
I don't ever want to wake up.



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175,459 Joy.  This is an emotion that I've not felt for several years until today.

I made a choice to make my life better and a lot more healthy.  

I'm getting there!  No more destructive bullshit in my life.



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175,458 Voting in the primary today. My wife thinks I'm voting for Hillary. Nope. Voting for Bernie. Then come the general election, voting Trump. What's a Democrat to do?



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175,457 I was once dicing a jalapeno pepper to include in some burrito filling I was cooking. I had an itch on my balls, which I stupidly scratched without first washing the pepper from my hands. Within a few seconds my scrotum was on fire. I didn't know what to do so I called my girlfriend (now wife) for advice. She immediately told me to soak my balls in milk. That seemed like a bizarre suggestion but I had no better idea and the pain was excruciating. So I did as I was told and quickly tea-bagged a bowl of milk. The burning stopped almost at once. Word to the wise.



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175,456 There's a guy I've been seeing for almost a year. We already talked about dating (I want to and he doesn't), which caused some issues between us for a while but then smoothed over as I accepted the situation. During the last conversation we had about dating where I was voicing my dissatisfaction, he said "Look, I like you, but if you want to find someone to be your boyfriend, find someone else. I like things the way they are between us."

That helped, because he basically gave me permission to see other people until I decided I wanted to date them. I haven't slept with anyone except for my ex a couple times (this caused the rift, when I told him that), and in the future if I do sleep with someone else I'm not going to tell him, because he wouldn't want to know, and he made his bed with that statement.

Fast forward a couple months and I get invited to a party at a dance hall by a friend of mine from 4th grade (let's call him V). I had a tiny crush on V in 4th grade, then one that was a little bigger in high school, and now it's just a full blown attraction, seeing him as an adult. This wasn't a surprise since I use FB to keep track of all my high school classmates, and in the beginning I really didn't intend to do anything about it.

Nothing happened that night. I was with my best friend in a room full of strangers and so I stuck to dancing with her or dancing alone since that's what I prefer (grinding is just an excuse to dry hump someone and I've really lost patience with it as a woman with a fat ass). Me and my best friend made some friends though, so we got invited to the after-party, which was down the street from my house. It was packed, and lots of fun.

I lost my wallet that night. When I messaged V about it he told me nobody saw it (obvs) but that I should come by the after-party house to look for it. He said I should stay around after since they were having another party tonight. I accepted, went early before anyone went, didn't find it (predictably, but a girl's gotta try), and settled for partying again to console myself.

V was in and out that night, I don't know why. I kept drinking and dancing. Soon I could feel my intentions resonating in my chest.

Now I have to mention, V was wearing a white button down shirt, so when he walked into the dance room with the large UV light, he stood out. He stood against the wall and started watching me dance. I tried my best not to change anything about the way I was moving because I suck at dancing when I think too hard about it. It felt like forever, even though in some part of my mind I was happy he was looking.

When I got tired I went against the wall and we talked. I was still inebriated at this point so I started testing his physical boundaries with small touches here and there. I complimented his tattoos and ran the tip of my finger over them as I admired them. Since it was loud I had no problem stepping closer to him so I could hear, placing my hand on his waist as I did. Soon he figured out that I'd given him my unspoken permission to touch my body, and then he got comfortable with his hands on my waist and our pelvises touching (not pressing, but touching).

When 5am came around he insisted on driving me home even though I was down the street. I had a million reasons to say yes, so it wasn't hard. When he got me there we talked for a bit, and when he hugged me goodbye I could feel the desire in his chest (it was a tingling feeling, like being on the other side of a beehive and feeling the buzz beneath the surface under your fingers). I kissed him. It felt like the appropriate next step since our flirting had been obvious. We've been talking every day since, and that was over 2 weeks ago.

I don't know where it's going or if it's going anywhere, but it's nice to have something with a little possibility.



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175,455 Obama wasn't attacked because he was white. He was attacked because he was trying to turn USA into a socialistic country. Clinton will try to do the same.



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175,454 It's a shitty thing to play with someone's trust. Taking someone at their word and truely believing them takes a lot of love and trust. Betraying that trust is absolutely disgusting. Not only is it just a crummy thing to do but it WILL backfire. Someone will find out and once you're branded a liar that's hard to shake. Call me silly but your word is sometimes all you have. People should strive to be good. To be faithful. To be happy. This world sucks because shitty people ruin nice things for everyone. :



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175,453 I don't agree with many of her policies, but I greatly admire Hillary Clinton. She's one tough motherfucker for being so visible in a world that constantly attacks her for her looks, for either being too feminine or not feminine enough (and that's just the tip of the iceberg). It's sad knowing that if/when she becomes President detractors are going to attack everything she does because she's a woman (the same way that they attack Obama for everything because he's black). I give her kudos for not only dealing with the constant attacks, but flourishing and growing despite them. That kind of grace and poise is something that all of the other current candidates could learn a thing or two from!



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175,452 Living in the 21st Century is a double edged sword.  On the one hand, we live very comfortably.

In fact, we live so comfortably that some people have forgotten why we needed vaccines in the first place.  Many of these people are being reminded of why we need vaccines in the most unfortunate way possible, by watching their children die of measles.

I suspect we're about to re-learn the hard way why society started to segregate bathrooms by male/female, too.



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175,451 There are trailer trash hicks. They are the dumbest of the dumb.

There are college History Professors. They are the smartest of the smart.

The trailer trash people know everything about soap operas. Who is the big man. Who is sleeping with the cousin's wife. Where is the money hidden.

The History Professors know everything about the British monarchy. Who was king. Who was sleeping with the cousin's wife. Where was the money hidden.

Maybe we are not so different after all.



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175,450 This morning I got my first ever positive pregnancy test at 31 years old. I was so afraid to look at it my husband had to tell me. I shook and cried. I called my Mom. I told my sister. Thank you to our anonymous donors who donated their embryos once their family was complete. I'm so grateful for the technology of embryo adoption. If you're struggling with infertility, look into embryo adoption. After 5 years, our first positive test. I can't wait for the next nine months! What a great journey this will be. Thank You, Jesus!



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175,449 My new favorite memory just happened last week.  

Was it an illicit sex romp?  No.

Was it winning money?  No.

Was it telling my asshole boss off and leaving?  No.

It was walking in the mall with my 2-year old boy holding my hand.



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175,448 My boyfriend takes a really long time to finish, too long.  I know, who complains about that?  But it's too long, and he "needs" to cum 2-3 times each time.  My pussy gets sore.  I like fucking him and I'm into him but I don't want a triathlon every time.  sometimes I want a quickie before bed or to give him a quick blowjob but it never works out that way.  I don't want him to last 2 minutes either, something in the middle would be great though.



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175,447 I once had an ex who thought he doing a great job stalking me, joke was on him. I knew the whole time and let it happen it went on for two years. When my brother got out of jail I sent him and his friends to plant shit in his house, then I called the cops. Have not seen or heard from him since. But if he ever comes back I will go to the cops again, this time with all the tapes we made and pictures we took, and all the text messages and voice mails I saved as well. I was underage the whole time we were together. He was 28, I was 16. I don't mind ruining his life one bit.



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175,446 Years ago I realized that my wife never doubts a thing I say to her.  I instinctively started to abuse that knowledge.  I'd tell her I was going out with friends, and then head to a strip club to have a girl grind me until I cum, or I'd go to a massage parlor and get whacked off.  I'd get women to send me naked pictures, text and message them, and just generally be a shithead.  She never had a clue.  It makes me wonder... how would I act if nobody could ever see a thing I was doing?   What kind of character do I really have?  Obviously, I'm a complete shit of a husband.  But maybe she's doing the same thing to me?



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175,445 I come into work every morning at 8, fuck off until 3 p.m., and then work for the last 90 minutes of my day.  I started doing this when I realized something: It doesn't matter how much thought and effort I put into my work, if I turn it in too quickly, my boss assumes that I didn't spend any time on it.  Regardless of how good the work is, my boss will send it back to me and say it's shit.  So I just sit for most of the day.  Works for me.



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175,444 I would very much like to have a girlfriend someday. I'm in my twenties so I know I have time, I just never meet women, only men and it sucks so much turning them down because theyre cool but I'm not i n t e r e s t e d in men.



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175,443 Let's have sex one more time. And if you have any extra cash that would be amazing.



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175,442 I tried man. I tried. I tried to talk to you and be your friend but that is like being friends with an evil... Snail.



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175,441 ...you fucking creep.



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175,440 There's a you-sized hole in my heart. It's a giant sucking void. Nobody can fill it.



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175,439 After a few months of unemployment, I am excited to be starting a new job. My emotions are mixed, as I leave behind an industry I was passionate about and spent significant time learning and thinking about. My problem is that I thought I had a large and supportive network in said industry. However, during my time unemployed it became obvious that what I thought was a large network of support did not seem to exist. Therefore, I feel that the universe is telling me to take a hiatus and try something completely new. I sit here fearful that I am not taking the right job, but excited by a strong offer and what seems to be an employer that really likes / wants me on board. My advice: you have reached maturity as a worker when you accept an offer from an employer that provides a more than agreeable offer despite not being exactly what you expected.



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175,438 Teenagers today scare me. I was driving to the store when I saw two teenage girls walking along the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. This troubled me. The road is very deserted. It's completely out of place for anyone to be walking there. I figured there must be something wrong.

I looped around, rolled down my window and asked if everything was alright. They explained they were walking to an office for a job interview. I told them normally I wouldn't suggest they ever get into the car driven by a stranger, but I was concerned about them on this long stretch of deserted road. I assured them I was okay and offered them a ride. They got in.

They went on to say they had responded to guy online who said he had a job opening involving temp work. They said they had an email conversation with him. He told them to come by his office for an interview. They took a 20 mile train ride to our town and were going to walk to the specified address. Hmmmm.

When we arrived at the location I asked if they were sure about the address. The "office" was a run down house in a very isolated location.  There looked to be a pitbull chained in the backyard. The girls started to get out of the car. I told them I didn't like this. I said it looked all wrong. I convinced them to get back in the car. One of the girls seemed to get it. The other, not so much. She was like no, no, let's knock on the door. It will be fine. I really need this job.

It took a bit of conversation, but finally both girls agreed for me take them away from there. I felt bad for them for not going on the "interview", but come on, you can't just show up at some creepy rundown house in the middle of nowhere, especially when he said it was an office.

Anyway, the next train back to their town was in a few hours, so I offered to drive them instead. What I really was doing was getting them away from the situation so they wouldn't start walking back to el creepo's house.

All in, it was an hour out of my day. No big deal. I'd like to think I prevented a hideous crime. But this is where I worry about the teens. Especially that one. She didn't seem to think any of this was a problem. I'll bet she'd do it again tomorrow.



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175,437 Oh hubby.  How thou hast fucked up!



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175,436 I once for my wife of five years drunk at a bar. We rented a room, I tied her, blindfolded her, and started kissing and nibbling her body. I slowly inserted her new toy into her sweet wet pussy with the sound of porn in the background. We were role playing. She pretended to pick up a guy from the bar, and was "cheating". I eventually only rubbed "Sam" the ten inch jelly dong on her clit. She went nuts.

Then...what she didn't know was I had a man I had been speaking with for her sneak over. While her drunk horny little ass lay there he stripped. I kissed her as he toyed her pussy. I forgot what she had me call myself Jose or some shit. Then the guy ran his hands slowly up her thigh to her waits and rubbed her tits. Those rock hard nipples are impossible not to pinch a little. She made all kinds of noises and requests. Finally I nodded to him and he slid into her. His width was a little more than mine. She said oh my god your swollen. He started pumping and I said "I can pull it out if you don't want your husband to know". I cant tell you how many times she slurred no. I dumped oil all over her and ran the dildo on her clit belly and tits. She came speedily. She came hard. Then I rubbed it on her neck, all the while he was pumping it, from slow to a little faster. I let him fuck her for an hour. All the while following each others gestures and feeding her more rum. He pulled out and I said suck the fucking cum you dirty slut off my cock. She opened her mouth...his head passed her lips. I could see while she sucked like a starving girl her mind was at work. She could tell something was different. Or she thought it was the booze and toys and setting. I asked if she liked my fat cock in her mouth, I asked if her husband tasted this good, made her beg, Jose please daddy I need it. Daddy? Really? Hmm I didn't know. With that it went to speaking very dirty. He pulled out and started like licking her, fucked her a little more. Then he quietly dressed and hit the road. We went back to the toy she confessed a secret. She liked anal. So I moved into position under her waist and drenched her ass and my dick with lube. I let her slide her ass down on me. Fuck me her moans went to near screams of pleasure. "both dadda". Both? Oh! With her perfectly still ass on my cock I slid in the "Sam" dong. One big jelly coxk into her cunt and me in her ass. I can't even describe the rest. It was wild. She showed me a whole other side of herself, it was perverted, taboo, and I loved it.



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175,435 Luck is on my side. I have two ex girlfriends whom I stalk. I monitor them online and I sometimes park near their houses and watch them coming and going. The lucky part, the second one moved into the same town as the first one. Stalking is so much easier now that they live so close to each other.



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175,434 Okay...My wife has cheated on me a lot. Its not because I'm bad in bed, before my emotions went out of control over it I would pound that pussy for hours. Like people who steal its for the thrill, and maybe a little nymphomania? She's still sexy.

What I want to rant about is, and this is a secret because she's slim. When the cunt pisses me off, I revenge porn. She hates porn because she was once addicted to it. What I hate is I love thicker women. Women with big soft looking plump tits and asses. The way a big ass and their thighs curve from the waist makes me so hard. My complaint is, when I search it, homemade or amateur especially, they're "those pawgs or bbw, and thick, are always paired with a black dude. Im a true ginger, so it makes it rather difficult to place myself in that fantasy if the cock she's sucking is a different color. Im sure people love the contrast, or whatever. What about me? I want to pretend that's my dick the fat little whore is cumming on, begging for, moaning over and cumming on. Please make decent pawg porn with white socks so I can get down just before I fuck my wife.



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175,433 The idea of sex makes me feel dirty. Sex is lacking in dignity and self control. Sex is for the weak. I'm not interesting in being trashy. When the time is right I plan to find a husband who is also not interested in sex. Perhaps we could participate with each other once to conceive a child. Other than that, we will maintain our composure.



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175,432 You know what would be really funny - to actually write the word "gullible" on the ceiling.



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175,431 People say life is short, but that's bullshit.  Pay attention - life goes on foreeeeeever.  Just count the number of times you have to fold your underwear or clean dust bunnies from behind the thing where you have to move the other thing to get at it.  It only looks short when you're looking back on most of it.  Most of life is actually just long gaps in between what we consider important.  People think life is short because they don't pay attention to most of it.  Parenthetically, I'm drunk at three pm.



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175,430 With delicious delight, I enjoy tormenting my wife. She needs to be in control. That's her self defined mantra, must always be in control.

Sometimes she'll call me from her cell. I don't pickup.  She knows I'm home. But still, I ignore her call. This drives her crazy. She is not in control. She doesn't have the power to make me answer the phone. So she calls again. And again. And again.

I've clocked her at calling 41 times in a one hour window.

Try living with a woman like this.



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175,429 I've heard everything I need to hear.  Time to pull the plug.  Only positive things from this day forward.



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175,428 I always delete my Internet history in case I get hit by a bus or something and my partner finds out how perverted and fucked up I am. Even if I was dead, I'd rather no one knows.



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175,427 When my best friend died suddenly, I went into his house and did image and video searches on his computer.  If there was any porn on his computer, I wanted to find it and delete it before his wife and kids found it.  I hope someone does that for me, too.



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175,426 My head doesn't want to be with her anymore. But my dick always says otherwise. To combat my urges, I'm furiously trying to whack off as much as possible so I won't be tempted to call her for sex.



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175,425 So what part did you tell her about? You making those jokes about us getting married? You telling me how pretty I was? How much you liked me?

Because if we're going to leave our partners for each other, be straight up about it man.



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175,424 418 Very well said.



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175,423 In another 20 years, the people pushing the "Black Lives Matters" and "white privilege" narratives are going to be seen for the racists they really are.  They're racist blacks and their useful white idiots who use racism to try to keep down a group of people who've done nothing to anybody except exist.  Sound familiar?  You're naïve if you think that the coming generations aren't going to notice this.



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175,422 In high school, there was this one kid who sold drugs and once punched his pregnant girlfriend in the gut because she didn't want to get an abortion.  He was pretty much the worst kind of guy you could imagine.

30 years later, and he now lives in a huge house on the water.  He started a company that hauls trash.  His wife is gorgeous.

Shit happens, I guess.



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175,421 I need to write it out here or I'll text you and I just shouldn't. I miss you more than words can say. I wish we'd both had the courage a couple years ago to say how we both really felt. You will always be my "what if". I will always wonder if we could have been something amazing. I miss you. I think about you. I still want you. I hope you are happy with her. I'll always wonder about our similarities- if they were just coincidence or something more. I'll always think about you. I'll always care. I guess our looks were more than our friendship after all.



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175,420 My boyfriend can't be with me without fucking.  Ever.  We've never had a night where we just fell asleep next to each other because we were so tired from work that day, it doesn't matter.  His balls need to empty out.  It rules our relationship, unless he's too tired, ofcourse.  But I feel like i have no say, because if i say something and stick to it like i'm tired or something, we'll fight.  so it's easier to give in.  i resent that about him and it actually makes me want to fuck less.  i like that he's attracted to me, but feeling like i must "handle my business" or else it's an issue doesn't make me happy.  I'm the girlfriend but i'm not just a hole.  we could do it a few times a week but that's not enough.  he needs it like 3 times a day, maybe 2 times.  I hear stories of couples who are together so long and don't have sex.  That's not the goal, but at least they're not together for the sex.  I'd be good with 3 or 4 times a week, but that's too little for him.  There are times i wanna be with him and just sleep together and that will never happen because he always has to have his dick sucked or in a hole.  it's like i am in a race with myself to satisfy him and that's not fun.  i don't even initiate because i never have a chance to.  we have sex 2-3 times a week now, and it's not the best amount, but for an 8 year relationship it's damn good and it's enough for a man to not complain that he's not being satisfied.  but he has to have so much more i feel like i can't possibly give him what he wants for the rest of his life



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175,419 I dislike democracy.

The majority of people don't know what the candidates stand for, so it's basically a random choice.

Or, there's some smaller percentage who do understand, but choose whoever is best for their own personal situation.

Lastly, there's me. I research all the candidates, so I know what they stand for. But I don't do what's best for me. I vote for who I think will be best for the majority - even if it hurts me personally.

I think I'm the only one who does this. Maybe I'm the only one who should be allowed to vote.



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175,418 I think that the Black Lives Matter movement has done more to destabilize race relations in this country than anything in the late 30 years. Instead of opening up a dialogue where people are free to interact in a positive manner, it is demonizing free speech and setting up an "us vs them" paradigm that will be increasingly hard to deconstruct as the years go by.

I and many of my friends are purposely distancing ourselves from this militant movement because it is tearing apart our society and making things far more unequal. I knew a few people involved with it and they are actively telling young black children to willingly disobey the cops, which is going to lead to more of them dying.

I can't be associated with people who are knowingly pushing their agenda on the young and impressionable. They actually want young people to die so that they can "prove" that the "white establishment" is keeping them down (how sick is that?) I have taught my sons and daughters, all in their early 20s or teenagers, that all lives matter equally. Black lives, minority lives, white lives, cop lives, they all matter. None of those lives matter more than the others (although the BLM people strongly believe that their lives are worth more than other people).

- A 47 year old black man who is sick of seeing people of my own race make it worse for the rest of us



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175,417 *I'm thirsty af.

**me too.

(*hands me a bottled water*)


THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU IDIOT!



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175,416 Matt, you sexy nerd, I would like you to fuck me. We are both very smart people and I think we would make a wonderful union. That is all ;)



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175,415 Women whine about sex too. Remember Peg from Married W/Children? Maybe not. I guess if you're voting for Sanders, you don't have any idea of what I'm talking about. And if you're voting for Trump, well, you don't know anything about anything. Anyway, it's the worst when the lady in the relationship whines about sex. It has to be the least attractive thing ever known to man.



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175,414 I hate when men whine about sex. Get over it. They sound like little boys crying over candy. You think real men behave that way? You think men at war whimper every night in their foxhole how their peepee needs to be rubbed? Stop complaining. Jerk yourself off if you have to, but for godsakes stop making this a woman's problem.



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175,413 One of my recent simple pleasures is to rinse out my sinuses in the shower. So many years of not knowing the difference. You need a detachable shower head. If I was a chick, I'd probably stick it on my cooch. I would have done that years ago, before ever discovering the cathartic pleasure of have clean sinuses.
Another thing I discovered recently is that it is helpful to chew my food slowly and meticulously, paying attention to the activity as its happening. Much better for me.



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175,412 My neighbor grows chickens. She often gives me eggs. I never eat them. I have no idea what she feeds the chickens or how she keeps them. They could be toxic for all I know.



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175,411 The thing I will miss most about college is student discounts on software and Amazon Prime.



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175,410 A difference I've noticed between men and women. When guys hang out, they might say to a friend, "Hey, you're alright."  Or even, "You're being a dick." Guys say what they think to the person's face.

But with women, the opposite is true. Women will hang out together and say, "Your look so pretty and I'm glad you're my friend."  But as soon as a woman is back home with her husband, the story changes. "Ug, I hate that bitch. She looked so fucking fat today."

Men aren't always the nicest people to talk with, but at least we're honest.



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175,409 Richest guy I've ever met didn't go to college.



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175,408 I just finished my temp job.  Already a relative is asking me "so what are your plans now?  What are your plans for next week?"  it's conversation, i'm not a stranger to having a lot of free time.  fuckin relax.  people expect u to know immediately what you're gonna do with your time.  The thing is she never used to be like that, i know some people who are that speak like they're interviewing you and she wasn't like that.  I hate that shit.  I'm close to her too, and it's not just with me she's like that now.  She was always cool just asked questions but not like that.



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175,407 Another era of segregation. An endless war. We're fighting over bathrooms and wedding cakes while our country assassinates foreign leaders with drones and bombs hospitals and schools. Go team USA...



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175,406 I see on TV new talking head shows the Dems talking about the abysmal conditions in Baltimore and other big cities. Yes I agree it is misery and I feel sorry for the residents there.

But, who has been in charge of Baltimore for over 50 years ???   Democrats.  So who has created this mess ?   The Democrats.

Hello……………… perhaps you all there should try something else out.



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175,405 today is one of *those* days for me. Everything feels fake, slightly out of focus, slightly out of time. I feel like Neo in The Matrix. A deep unease churns inside of me, yet I can't quite put my finger on what is not right. It is maddening. Today I will stay at my house and try not to speak to anyone for fear of losing my shit when their facial features distort even so slightly. No I am not crazy. I investigated as to whether I am. 3 different doctors, 2 therapists. They all agreed that I am *normal* --whatever that means. Some days, I really want to crawl in a hole and never come out again. Or walk into the woods and lose myself there. Never see another human being again unless I absolutely have to. These feelings are too damn hard to deal with.



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175,404 College is an amazing ripoff. Do the math. There are 25 people in each class.  The professor teaches four such classes. That's a total of 100 students. Each student needs to come up with $1,000 so the teacher gets paid $100,000 per year.

On top of that, each student takes 4 such classes. So each students needs to come up with $4,000 a year to pay professors.

Add to that room and board.  The rooms are tiny and shared. My half should cost $250 per month. Food should cost me $50 per week, or $2,000 per school year.

Add in an extra $1000 for whatever.

All together college should cost $10,000 per year.

Instead it costs $70,000 because all the extra money is needed to build coffee shops in dorms, and put in a jacuzzi AND sauna AND hot tub. There is a masseuse who will come to your room. Oh, we need a rock climbing wall in the dorm. And a 3 pool tables, you know, in case we want to have a tournament. And a full video arcade with 20 machines.

What the hell does any of this have to do with EDUCATION.  You remember education?  That used to be the point of college. But not any more.

Now college is about having a good time. It's one giant 4 year long party.



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175,403 I was at book group. There were nine women in the room. The conversation turned to abortion. It became personal. Eight of the women said they had an abortion. I was the only one who didn't. This shocks me. These wee eight educated, socially normal suburban moms. And they've all had abortions. Just wow.



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175,402 I want to drive away. I want to get in my car and head south. I could picture myself holing up in a tiny one bedroom house overlooking the water. I could work in a bookstore. I'd make $400 a week, which would be enough for groceries and rent. I'd be leaving behind my high powered job, my bank account, my very expensive home. Because you know what? I don't want those things. I've never wanted those things. I want a simple life where I lie on the hammock reading a book while feeling the ocean breeze.



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175,401 My period is three days late. Pregnancy test was negative. I will take another one on Friday. I hope it stays negative. I really don't want to be pregnant with my ex boyfriend. He put me through emotional hell. Please don't let me be attached to him the rest of my life through a shared child.



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175,400 I haven't taken a shower in three days.



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