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176,299 People always comment on how patient I am with people when I describe situations to them sometimes. The flip side is that I can be awfully insensitive too, which sucks because it makes people feel victimized and pathetic.

I'm definitely the product of "suck it up" culture



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176,298 It's 3 p.m.  I got in at 8.  I guess it's time to do some work.



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176,297 People have a very low opinion of others given they are so upset about the gorilla being killed to save the child. I get it, but still if the child were killed by the gorilla, the same people would complain he wasn't killed to save the boy. The mother feels she did nothing wrong. Of course?



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176,296 My relationship ended after three years and a daughter.... In hindsight, I never felt loved.

Now, I'm the bad guy, broke (and broken), alone and bored.

Why did I do this to myself and how do I save my poor daughter?



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176,295 I was walking in the mall when I saw a young woman approaching me from the other direction.  From far away I could tell she had killer tits.  I guessed she had perky 34 or 36 D's.  I didn't want her to see me staring at her, so I averted my gaze until we were almost passing each other.  Then I glanced in her direction, and caught her looking at me.  She looked away quickly.  She was checking me out.  I still got it.



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176,294 I know a woman named Emma who is fucking gorgeous.  27 years old and she's been married to a great guy for about six years.  Blonde, huge tits, pretty face... she's porn star beautiful.  If her husband wasn't such a nice guy, I would be trying my best to nail that pussy.  She's incredible.

But here's the thing - Emma's mom is a horse.  At least she weighs as much as one.  Probably 300 pounds.  At 50 years old, I know enough to look at the mom if you want to know what the daughter will look like.

I saw a new picture of Emma today, and her face looks a little rounder.  Yep, it's starting.  Give her 10 years and she'll be 70 pounds heavier.



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176,293 I was annoyed that Windows 10 made me use my e-mail address and enter a passcode each time I wanted to use my laptop.  Now when I consider the sheer amount of porn and pictures/chat messages to other women that are on my laptop, I'm glad it's passcode protected.  I couldn't imagine my wife finding all that shit on my computer.



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176,292 I have nothing but disdain for authority figures in the school system. They are all so full of shit. Oh you know best how to educate my child because why? Because you were appointed into the job? But what's your background? You were a B student in high school and then went to a mediocre college and got a teaching degree? This is your qualification for making all kids smarter? Your full of shit. You were appointed to your job and you think that alone qualifies you to lead the way. Please get out of the way and let people who know things actually get the job done.



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176,291 She likes to walk around in nothing but a long shirt. What's under? No idea, but from the outlines of her body, I would say nothing. One look at her and I can barely contain myself. Compared to the rest of the plastic garbage in this city, she really is a thing of beauty. Given the opportunity I'd ride her ass like a rocket ship, but unfortunately, that would make me a scumbag in the process. But, this is like my ultimate fantasy, so I don't know what I would do if that opportunity showed face. Just the thought of her in the shower right now fills me with lust. An uncontrolable amount of lust.

But that's life. Look, but don't touch. Once she leaves I see a very enjoyable orgasm in my future, purely brought on by the thought of her.

I would do ANYTHING for ten minutes with her.



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176,290 I've tried talking to my wife about marital issues. LOL. She would literally put her fingers in her ears and chant "la la la la la" so she couldn't hear me. This is what some people are like. There is no chance at communication. This is why I'm going for a divorce.



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176,289 I don't know if it's a mid life crisis, being a sociopath or both. Married for 15 years to a very great woman, four sons whom I adore.  I hate my job but most importantly, I've been a unfaithful, manipulative asshole. I crashed my $100k car going to my mistresses house and almost killed someone. I rationalized everything. I need to stop this. All I think about is why my mistress has not sent me a message. I have everything in the world and act like I want to lose it all, but I don't.  I just don't know how to stop. Maybe I'm going insane one day at a time. I hate this feeling.



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176,288 I worked for a mortgage loan company for all of six weeks.  Real high stress environment.  I was in my mid-30s and in great shape, but started having chest pains from the anxiety.  Once I left the job, I was fine again.  I'm starting to feel the same at my current job.  I need to quit this place.



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176,287 Chest pains, difficulty breathing, fingers tingling. All signs of anxiety/stress. Classic panic attack. Went to the doctor and was found to be in perfectly good health aside from anxiety. I've been working on de-stressing and it has worked wonders. No more chest pain and panic. Just in case I keep a secret emergency Xanax in my purse. Just having it makes me feel better. The human mind can be a bitch. Modern medicine is great but hospital doctors treat bodily illness not mental. You may want to look elsewhere. :)



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176,286 37 year old female, Houston.
I was having dizzy spells every few months or so. Beginning in  December, I started having chest pains. I went to several doctors and the emergency room twice as they were really bad pains. They did chest X-rays, EKGs, and blood tests. I was not having a heart attack. Followed up with my PCP. Went to a Cardiologist and had a normal stress EKG and Echocardiogram. Then I was sent to another doctor to make sure it wasn't acid reflux related, this was cleared, too. Went to a few doctors. All they found was that I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol but neither are overly high and I have changed my diet, take medicines, and have lost 50 lbs.
Problem is, I still have the random chest pain. It's not a horribly bad pain as it was in the beginning but it's there. It kinda freaks me out when I have it because not one doctor can tell me what it is. I've spent so much money on doctors and tests with no answers. I feel like I should go to another doctor but what kind?? I've lost faith in the medical system, I feel like if I went to another doctor I would be spending large amounts of money and still not have any answers.
So I go about my day, when my chest hurts I try to ignore it. I haven't told anyone I still have the issue (besides my doctors) because what's the point???



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176,285 Whatever happened to talking to your spouse/SO? Good lord. I mean, I'm sure we don't get the whole story online but my god, the number of people who cry divorce at the first sign of trouble is staggering. If you are concerned about your significant others behavior then sit them down and talk. Be straight with them. "I think it's odd you're getting text messages from XYZ. Why is that? Why do you delete your messages?" Yes it will be a difficult conversation but it's the adult thing to do. Instead of acting like a goddamn covert spy right out of the gate. If your significant other is evasive/refuses to discuss then OK. Obviously something is weird and you should move on to the next step. Everyone is different. It isn't fair to assume X=Y just because someone said so on the Internet. I delete blocks of texts all the time. I clear my whole message history with everyone every couple of weeks. I hate cluttered phones. You know the type, with tons of unread e-mails and pending updates. F that. I love my husband and would never cheat. Perhaps your SO is getting unwanted messages and is too afraid/embarrassed to tell you? Sitting them down and talking to them ought to be the first step. Life isn't some silly romantic comedy. Be an open, honest and CLEAR adult.



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176,284 I can learn what I need to from being with you, or I can just pretend it never happened. I think it's a stretch to use the word "pretend" because it literally is as though it didn't happen. It's like that time you fell off a ladder , or the time you had this really bad accident where you flipped the car, but walked away unharmed, but you had some really fantastic story about a tragedy that no one in this case wants to listen to...
We said this would last forever, and the fact that you didn't stick it out makes you a liar, not just to me, but the man you are with presently. Your life, though lovely as it may be is a sham, so long as this past is hanging around your neck. You can cast this shame off somehow. I honestly don't know how you live with yourself.



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176,283 When I was a kid I had a stingray bike. The combination to my cheapo lock was 714. As an adult almost 50 years later, my computer password is stingray714.



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176,282 176278, first you need to get a lawyer, then you need to put some spy software on her cell phone so that you too can read those deleted messages.  It only takes a couple of minutes to install the software.  Once you find her texting inappropriately with him, divorce her.  If you simply forgive her, she will just find another method to contact him.  She'll create new secret email addresses, or use other special applications.  If she claims that the texting was just innocent fun and nothing has happened, don't believe her.  While she may or may not have acted, it was a breach of trust.



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176,281 There are six billion human cockroaches in the world and fewer than 1000 mountain gorillas. Would've been an easy choice for me. Refund the cost of admission to the zoo for the mother and move on.



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176,280 Homemade chocolate chip cookies without nuts is like sex without an orgasm. What's the point??



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176,279 I can smell dishwasher soap residue on anything that went through the dishwasher. It has the scent of harsh chemicals. Because of this I rinse off every cup and plate before I use it. This drives my husband crazy. He thinks I'm paranoid. Okay fine. So I make a point of not rinsing off his cup and plate. He can eat the chemicals. Enjoy!



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176,278 I've noticed recently my wife is getting text messages from a guy named Michael. He's a running coach and hosts a weekly early morning running group at the high school track. My wife started attending his runs a year ago. Now for some reason he sends her texts every few hours.

"I'm a the supermarket."

"I'm buying gas."

"I'm in Starbucks."

It's a constant accounting of where he is at all times. Either this is some new coaching technique to help middle aged housewives run faster...... or there's something fishy going on here. Does this sound normal for him to text her so much with his location? To me sounds like an invitation, like hey, here's where I'm at --- if you're in the neighborhood come on by.

My wife says she doesn't know why he sends her texts. She says she never responds. But then again, I've noticed she deletes large blocks of her texts every day.



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176,277 My daughter turned 17 a few weeks ago. I secretly refurbished my old jeep. It's a great fun ride. Anyone with a jeep knows what I'm talking about. I gave it to her for her birthday. She bitched and moaned, as did my wife. She wants a new car. Now my 16 year old son has the jeep. He couldn't be more psyched. My daughter has nothing. What's with people?



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176,276 It's my first day to myself in months. I have tons of things to do but instead I'm binge watching GoT.



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176,275 Beware of marrying someone whose family has a background of isolation, alienation, and, because of that the family has a very unusually tight bond.
His siblings will resent and in some cases flat out hate you because in their minds nothing else in the world exists but their little family and outsiders are to be treated with violence and hostility.
My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me, but his family needs to learn there is a world outside of their house.



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176,274 I can't believe my childhood friend had such a big dick. Good for you



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176,273 248, I've experienced this myself, but in a different way.

My husband grew up in a very small town in the middle of nowhere - population 10,000.  I grew up in the suburbs of a major city - population 3.2 million.  We live in an entirely different area - we both ended up here for work.  I've been to my husband's hometown.  It's cute, but WAY too small and isolated for me.  I could never live there.  Even *he* left as soon as he could, when he was 18. We both agree that it's way too behind in the times, too slow, not enough to do there.  It's beautiful, but boring.  My husband has been to my hometown, and he LOVES it.  As soon as the youngest is in college, we're planning on moving there.

For some reason, my husband's brother-in-law seems to think that I don't like where they're from.  He thinks that *I* think that everyone there are backwards, uneducated hicks.  I have never done nor said anything to make him think this.  It's just his perception, that my being from the big city, I must think this about people from small towns.  My husband, having traveled the world, is the one who thinks a lot of the people from there are backwards, uneducated hicks.  He says so a lot.  He makes a lot of jokes about it.  Yes, there *are* people like that in that area.  That's the stereotype anyway, but most of the people I've met there are just smart, regular people.

Well, the brother-in-law sends my husband texts all the time saying that I must think this of the people there.  My husband defends me, say NO, I don't think that at all.  But brother-in-law persists.  Says that's the reason I don't want to live there.  (This behavior increased after brother-in-law went to my hometown on vacation, by the way.)  My husband explains that I grew up in a beautiful area with lots of things to see and do, and I just wouldn't be happy in the middle of nowhere.  That I need to be near a big city and the ocean.

The other day my husband and I were talking about our weight.  He cooks the food that he grew up with, and I don't like it, because it's rich and heavy and fattening. If I'm not careful, I put on weight, which makes me unhappy.  I said something to the effect of if he kept feeding me this crap I'd weigh 300lbs...and then I'd fit right in in his hometown.  This was kind of based on what he'd told me about going to his high school reunion last year, and everyone was like 300lbs.  Well my husband went apeshit on me.  He didn't talk to me for a few hours.

He finally explained that his brother-in-law wants him to move back there.  He misses my husband, but it's because of ME that he'll never return.  My husband admitted that he misses his family and friends, and the area, enough now that he would move back, but he knows I'd be really unhappy there.  So apparently, his brother-in-law is trying to cause a rift between us.  He's been saying this shit so much that my husband is starting to believe it.

Brother-in-law is going to get a phone call from me.  Fasten your seatbelt, dick!



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176,272 I wish I could buy you a taco. With my first baby, I was so broke I couldn't even afford to go the laundromat and had to wash my clothes in the sink. I remember craving multiple food items. This one time I wanted Chinese food so bad, for a couple of weeks I was craving it. I found a quarter in the couch and then went all around the house looking for change. When I was done, I had found $2.75. Not enough for a meal, but enough for 2 egg rolls from this little hole in the wall place that had the best Chinese food. Their egg rolls were handmade on the kitchen. It was an open kitchen and you actually had to walk by it to get in the dining room. I ordered mine to go. I got home and ate one really slowly. It took me about 30 minutes to eat one. The other one I ate really fast. They were the most delicious thing I had eaten in months.
So anyway point of this story.... When your husband does get paid, suggest you go out for Mexican food. Or a taco truck...I don't know if you have taco trucks where you live but here (Houston) you can get a taco for about 1.25 at a taco truck. Or if you never eat out, when you buy groceries have a taco night. If you can't afford to make authentic tacos, make the American ones. If you can't afford ground beef, make it with ground turkey.



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176,271 I have a smaller dick, and yes sometimes, I wish I had an 8 inch cock, but then after my 5 inches goes full in touching belly to belly, its the best thing in the world. Ok yes, i will not be a porn star, but to see my ladies have an "O" with my cock, its what I live for. I would not change it for the world.



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176,270 Don't make fun of guys with small dicks.  They probably are satisfying their women far more than a guy like me is.  My dick is pretty big.  It's very nearly 8" long and 5.5" around.  I once had a stripper look at it and say, "That's a huge fucking cock!!"  You'd think I'd be king of the hill with this thing, but the truth is it's a curse.  Women can't physically handle it.  It's too big for them.  I've never had a woman just hop on me and ride me cowgirl.  The most they ever did was thirty seconds before they got off and made me fuck them missionary.  And when I do, they either lay there gritting their teeth or their eyes are bulged out.  They don't enjoy it at all.  I was fingering a masseuse the other week and made her cum three or four times with my index finger.  She loved it.  My index finger is three inches long.  I need five inches taken off my dick.



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176,267 Staying in an airbnb?? Not a chance. I would never stay in someone's home. Gross.



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176,266 I miss my daughter



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176,265 I can't handle long distance relationships. I can't handle any relationship. He's been away for a week and I'm already upset that he's gone. I'm already upset that he doesn't answer my texts after 5 or 6 hours. I'm fucking insane. I don't trust people. I'm immature. I can't handle myself.

What made me so fucked up? I had a normal family. My parents are happily married. My sister is normal. Why am I so fucked up?



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176,264 Yes, I contributed big time to our breakup, but I gained a lot more clarity while in solitude.  You still refuse to look in your own mirror.



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176,263 It's funny how faces change. When I first met him i thought I was nuts to go out with a guy like him and that he was probably the ugliest guy I had ever seen on the planet. What had I done with my standards I asked? Yet, I gave him a chance and he grew to be the most beautiful man on this earth. After being cheated on, lied to and abandoned, I look at him knowing that he's a loser but, the truth is, i'll always find comfort looking into his eyes, knowing that for one day I was able to love.



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176,262 I think my boyfriend is lying to me about everything he claims to think about me.



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176,261 It seems like whenever I look at the clock in the afternoon, it's 4ᚼ.  I used to love texting you Happy 420 almost every day.  I don't have you anymore, but I always seem to instinctively look at the time then.

Each. And. Every. Day.



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176,260 If you were nearby, I'd bring you a bag of tacos.



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176,259 I've been pregnant twice with my son is didn't crave anything.I thought cravings were a joke. I made fun of women with cravings. I never sent my husband to the store for a craving it seemed like it was this great pregnancy myth.


Im 35 weeks with my daughter. I am so sorry I ever thought like that.

I have never ever in my life "NEEDED" food like this.

I have never craved anything like this in my life.

I don't know how to explain the fixation I have on wanting a food.

I just want some fucking authentic Mexican food like a real god damn taco and a huge bag of gummy bears. Or like a fuck ton of taco bell might work I have no clue.

I need it in my bones. I have never needed anything in my body like this.

Is this how drug addicts feel when they can't get their fix? Holy shit. No wonder they relapse.

I can't even explain how badly I want some damn Mexican food.

I have dreamed about it. For 3 god damn days.

I can not even log into social media because I know too many other pregnant women who can cry AND beg and get family and friends to feed their cravings. My broke ass neighbor can get her familt to deliver her pregnant ass fucking crab legs and I can't even afford a god damn taco.

maybe it's because I don't live near my family, or that I have enough self control to not cry and lose my shit cause hormones over food.

Or maybe because I'm an introvert and don't have many friends let alone ones with enough money to spare on my stupid irrational cravings.

Like I can't even afford to go get tacos.

If we ran out toilet paper (we shouldnt) but if we did I wouldn't have the cash to go get it for another week when my husband gets paid.

He isn't the run to the store for his prego type either though. God I get so fucking jealous of women who can be like "baby wants -insert random food here-" and their husbands or boy friends or family go get it.

I am sorry I ever made fun of cravings.

I'm sorry I can't even find a way to get my daughter what she wants  (which is obviously something in a fucking taco I don't even eat Mexican food that often what the hell).

I can't stand this. No wonder the over dramatic pregnant chick's in movies get upset.

But what can I do really? Beg for someone anyone to bring this baby a god damn taco?

Pray for a random act of kindness to make them appear in my life?

Nope accept we are broke.
Bite my tongue and try to think about anything else other than a fucking taco.



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176,258 Everybody who is in the media wears tons of makeup.  Pictures you see of people no matter how big or small potatoes in terms of fame they are ALL airbrushed before it goes out to the masses.
I have met quite a number of famous people and in person they all look much different.
True beauty is on the inside and the nice ones I thought looked about the same, the assholes..most unattractive.
Airbrushing has been around for a long long time.



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176,257 It makes me sad to see people post selfies on facebook. Listen, no offense, but Hollywood starlettes, they are beautiful. That's why they're Hollywood starlettes. But everyone else... um... no. You are not attractive. I include myself in this group on unattractive people. But I have the common sense not to post a selfie. Learn from me.



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176,256 Honestly, I'd rather the gorilla was alive and the boy... well... whatever happens happens...



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176,255 I am a professional grown ass adult women and I have at least 200+ pictures of Sebastian Stan on my phone. O.o I'm like a teenager with a crush! On the one hand it's kinda fun but it's also really embarrassing. I'm afraid of handing my phone over to show someone a picture and have them scroll too far and see. I would rather have dick pics on my phone because at least that's something a 28 year old women might have. LOL. I don't want my husband to find them either. Not that he would care but he'd taunt me relentlessly. Growing up my mom would tell me that being an adult was hard. Not just the responsibilities but that deep down (or in my case maybe not so deep) we're still the same people. My mom is 51 and she says in a lot of ways she still feels 16. It's so weird to go to work and provide people with expert advice knowing I'm nursing a teenager crush on a goddamn actor. >.< Oh well. I'm banking on being a child at heart keeping me young, lol.



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176,254 I just proved I do listen to people, even a neurotic control freak like you.  

I'm not a sociopath or a masochist or a drama queen - that's why I chose to stay home instead of "acting like an adult" by going to the party with you. If I went, you'd demean me even for looking at something the wrong way, or ** gasp ** mentioning a celeb.

I know when not to pardon people who live in denial about how unworthy they are of being respected.



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176,253 I am so fucking sick of feeling guilty for asking for anything



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176,252 There are two kinds of topless women at a Caribbean beach resort. Those with really tan boobs, and those with extremely pale boobs that have never seen the sun before. The tan boobs instantly bore me. They belong to sluts who bare themselves all the time. But the white boobs, oh la la, these are suburban housewives who are living on the wild side for a short while before going back to their minivans and PTA meetings. They'd die if anyone back home saw them topless. But here they are on the beach sharing their delights. I love it.



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176,251 A man afraid of a woman that has slept with many men is a man that is afraid of getting a disease and dying. Simple as that. Same goes for women afraid of men that have slept with many women. Sex means jack shit nothing in marriages. If You want to be with someone forever fall in love with their personality,not their dick/pussy.



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176,250 I am completely convinced my neighbor poisoned my dog. My neighbor has given us a hard time since the day we moved in. She would call the police on me for mowing my lawn saying it was too loud. Or for raking leaves, she would say some blew into her yard. The cops would come by and laugh. They understood she was a loon. The eventually told her she'd get arrested for harassment if she didn't stop filing frivolous complaints.  A few weeks later my dog got sick and died. All within a few hours. The very next day, she called at me over the fence. She asked how my dog was feeling. She said he looked sick yesterday. She had this maniac laugh going on. The bitch killed my dog. I'm sure of it. This story isn't over if you know what I mean.



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176,249 I once let my wife lick my dirty ass. I had just taken a dump. She wanted to lick me. I said no. She insisted. I let her.



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176,248 My sister-in-law sent my wife a text last night.  She got into a huge fight with her husband, my brother.  My brother and my sister-in-law are always at each other's throats.  They are always one step away from divorce.  It's a fucked up situation with them.

Anyway, during the text conversation, my sister-in-law starts telling my wife how she's "read the texts and e-mails" I've sent to my brother that bash my wife and her family.  Apparently, I am always texting my brother, bashing my wife and her family.  My wife is reading these texts to me as they come in.

This was a huge lie, and my wife knows it.  We rarely fight.  I tell my wife that divorced women and women in miserable marriages like to make other women miserable, too.  She agrees; she's seen the behavior before, too.  

I ask my wife to text my sister-in-law about when she read these texts and e-mails.  After a minute, the response comes back.

"About two years."

Okay, so we've gone from "always" bashing my wife to my family, to last doing it "two years ago."

So my wife texts her and asks what I've been saying.  After a few minutes, we get the response back.

"I looked through the texts and e-mails back a year, but didn't find anything."

What a crock of bullshit.  After a few more messages, my sister-in-law tells my wife that because my brother says bad things about my sister-in-law, that therefore I must say bad things about my wife.  I tell my wife to stop texting her, because I'm just going to end up really mad.

Doesn't this crazy fucking woman realize that what she did could have caused a huge rift in my marriage?  Thank God my wife knew what was going on.  Thank God I was right there next to my wife when the texts started coming in.  Miserable women will try to make other women miserable.  Fucking crazy.



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176,247 I am watching a sitcom about people and couples in their late 20s, early 30s and every single female character has thigh gap.  Even the so-called voluptuous ones.  Really?



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176,246 I moved to the USA from the former Soviet Union. I was an English teacher. I'm still an English teacher. I teach English in high school despite my strong Slavic accent. Well, I do not teach my students how to speak but I teach them how to analyze literature and write essays. I am considered a highly qualified teacher. In addition, I teach in one of the largest and demanding schools districts in the country. It was not easy, but I made it here. I am also pursing my second Masters. My secret? I am vain... this summer I am determined to loose more weight, get Botox injections and become a bimbo teacher...But maybe, just maybe I deserve not to be humble.



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176,245 Well, maybe more of a rant than a secret.

Parent let their kid walk less than a half mile to and from park alone, along a route he takes to school.  Arrested for child endangerment.

Parents let their kid sneak into a gorilla enclosure leading to the death of the gorilla.  Sympathy for the gorilla, no charges against parents.

Accidents happen but damn.



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176,244 I have finally met a man who is not intimidated by me.
And he is not afraid to admit when he does not know something. Today I used the word "acquiesce" in conversation and he simply looked at me and asked to explain. That was today.

Yesterday, he fucked me like I have not been fucked in a long, long, long time. It was hot, and sexy and oh-so-fucking pleasurable. I made me come so hard *sigh*... he looked at me the whole time and refused to use me for his own pleasure even when i told him it was okay.
Nope.
It was all about me, only me. 4 hours of him fucking me and I had to plead with him to come. When he finally relented it was unbelievably hot I came as well.
I don't know what to do with myself today.
I like him. He likes me. It's simply glorious.



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176,243 Pubic hair prevents camel toe.



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176,242 My wife was a sorority girl.  It seems like that was a license to be a slut, or just a convenient excuse.  I don't know definitively, but I'm pretty sure the "Rule of Three" applies to her.



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176,241 I almost never run into somebody smarter than me.  I certainly run into people who are more knowledgeable, have more experience, and are more dedicated in their craft than I am, and these people will run circles around me.  Same with very outgoing people - they can box me in in a conversation.  But someone with a higher raw IQ... maybe twice a year I'll meet someone I know is smarter than me.  Probably less than that, and that's in line to where my IQ level falls with regards to everybody else.  Statistically speaking, I have to meet about 8,000 random people before I meet someone smarter.

And all this means that I can tell when people are trying to bullshit me with their intelligence.  You have a PhD?  Big fuck.  That just means you preserved through some bullshit.  You're a vice president with an expensive car?  I don't give a shit.  That means you know how to chat people up and make yourself a presence in the room.  You're powerful?  Who gives a shit.  That was luck.  You knew the right people and got some lucky breaks.  Huge house?  Great, you're in debt.

You were born into poverty in a third world country, busted your ass to make it here, and now you're successful?  Now I'm impressed.  Sit down and talk to me.  I want to know what you know.

Here's a hint.  We smart people know when you're bullshitting us.  Don't try to look or talk smart to us in order to try to impress us.



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176,240 i wish i could ask you if you've heard disturbed's cover of the sound of silence. i wish i could tell you how much i like it.

i wish i could ask you about your engagement, your family, your job.

i wish.



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176,239 My fiancee's childhood best friend just had to postpone her wedding because of a cancer diagnosis for her mom. It's bad -- already in a bunch of organs. A death sentence.

I feel for the mom, but not for the daughter. She and my fiancee were friends in the church growing up, and when my fiancee eventually drifted away from religion, there were some very unkind things said about how it was just a "phase" she was going through and that they would all pray for her to find God's love again.

So tell me: where is your god now, bitch?



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176,238 My boyfriend has a good size penis and its looks like god made it. I love it.



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176,237 When I was married my wife got a subscription to the NY Times. Not that she ever read the newspaper. She got the subscription so she could tell her friends and then she'd appear to be smart. When someone was coming over, my wife would carefully place the newspaper on the front hall counter so the guests would see it. Yes, people like my ex-wife actually exist. Appearances were everything to her. So glad that chapter of my life has ended.



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176,236 I hear of some people trying to hang on and not tell the spouse they want a divorce until after the house is sold. I tried that. Did not work. It was hell. It just prolonged the agony. Every potential buyer who came along and didn't make a bid - it doesn't just hurt financially, it went to my very core knowing it meant my life with the wife would continue. The buyers didn't know what control they had over me. I don't recommend it. If you want a divorce, announce it. Be done with it. The house will get sold. Maybe not for as much money. But your mental health is worth it.



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176,235 I grew up in a communist country. I love and can tolerate everything the good old U.S. of A has to offer, including her flaws, except for one thing. How the fuck do you wear the flag as a bikini bottom, and get your pussy goo all on it?



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176,234 They did a study that showed women who have a husband with a big dick are more likely to cheat.  Maybe it hurts to fit all in every time you have sex.  And to get it all in your mouth like they want.  Probably more difficult.  A smaller dick makes it easier.



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176,233 Define "small".



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176,232 I don't have anybody to go to Applebee's with



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176,231 I CANNOT allow myself to become some old damn bitch ....



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176,230 My husband also has a small penis. I love it. I don't gag on it. It doesn't make me bleed. It's perfect.



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176,229 My boyfriend has a small penis. I love him and it. The penis does not make the man.



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176,228 I am nearing 60, good marriage, good job, good health, nice house, wonderful family, and pretty happy overall.

Except for the fact that I have a small penis. I am so small that I actually am thinking about suicide just so I will never be in a hospital where strangers like nurses and doctors would see how small it is.

I would have to do it in such a way that my body would be completely  destroyed  so that the mortician wouldn't see.



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176,227 My husband has slept with more men and women than I ever have. I mean I think I've slept with 8 men and 14 women but like his number is wayyy you above mine.

We both have pretty high sex drives.

Running joke is  "tp you two are only married because your both sluts"

That might not be wrong. It takes a hoe to know a hoe, and being sexuality incompatible is a deal breaker.

We have a lot of fun, we flirt with everything and each other but neither of us strays.

Honestly don't know what the big deal is. Men can be sluts too,



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176,226 If you want to know how many guys a woman has fucked, take the number of guys whose dicks she's sucked and divide by 2.  If she's sucked 20 guys' dicks, she's fucked 10 guys.  I swear it's a law of nature.



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176,225 I know a woman who fucked 50 men before she turned 30.  Then she decided to turn over a new leaf and stop fucking every guy she met.  I once asked her how it was going.  She said she was only sucking guys' dicks now, not fucking them.  Yeah, rolled my eyes with that one.



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176,224 Who protests while wearing masks, burning American flags and screaming Viva Mexico?  People who really don't like America I think.  So you don't like a candidate and decide to assault his supporters and block people from attending a rally?  Bull Connor(Democrat) would be proud.

The only Secret is that I believe this type of behavior is in the DNA of the Democratic Party and liberalism.  #Occupy trashed the areas they were in.  Urine filled water guns are standard at protests.  In contrast, officers reported that the Tea Party rallies from a few years ago were the most peaceful and CLEAN events they had ever worked.



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176,223 I'm really good at parties. I bring along good cheer and good conversation. I've noticed people crowd around me at parties. This makes me feel wonderful!



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176,222 Before masturbating, I check around my bedroom a little to make sure there are no hidden cameras. I sound paranoid right, but think about it, cameras are everywhere these days. I've seen so many hidden camera videos on the internet. A video of me touching myself would pretty much be cause for suicide. So yep, I look for cameras. If you don't, well good luck with that.



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176,221 Please don't bring your dog in stores. Please don't do that.



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176,220 You're not really my type but I love fucking you.



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176,219 I think the American flag is one of the most beautiful flags! Just look at the European countries' flags, they're plain boring with no apparent special meaning to them. The British flag is kinda cool too...



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176,218 I don't think the American flag is good looking. I think we could do better.



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176,217 My wife is selfish, rude, difficult and very immature. If ever I point this out, her immediately response is that I must be an unhappy person.

Yes, I am unhappy. I'm unhappy because of the way she behaves. But she keeps trying to spin it like it's somehow my problem.

I hate her for this. This marriage is going to end. This isn't my doing. It's hers. Why are some women like this? I think their daddies told them far too many times that they were princesses. It made them into impossible adults.



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176,216 Quite often, while I'm lying in bed masturbating, my penis will be a bit sluggish to respond, typically after the 3rd or 4th time for the evening.  At these moments, I find it helps to reach around behind me and give a gentle tug on my tampon string - not enough to pull it out of my ass, but enough to remind me that it's there, and to help me feel it a bit more. Before long, I always seem to achieve a rock-hard erection!  On the other hand, when I'm jerking off in the Ladie's room, I like to tug my tampon out abruptly, the moment I begin to ejaculate -  this stimulates me so much, and I squirt so hard that many times, I've splashed the stall door!  To me, there is NOTHING more satisfying than watching my sperm spilling slowly into tiny drops on the floor!



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176,215 I feel like the world's biggest idiot. I fell in love with a married guy. Believed every word out of his mouth. That he loved me, that we were gonna have a life together. He proposed, promised me the sun moon and stars. My kids were crazy about him. Then oops no he couldn't possible leave his wife, sorry. Yeah so now I am alone and ain't no way I'll ever trust a man again.



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176,214 My boyfriend takes forever to cum.  And he needs to cum a few times.  Yeah I know, what a problem.  It's too long.  It will be good at first, but then there comes a point where it's enough.  My pussy will hurt from him fucking me too long, and then when he has to cum again my arm will hurt from jerking him off for so long.  Believe me I have some endurance but it's wearing me out.  My shoulder is starting to hurt because I end up having to lean for a long time while I'm sucking him off and jerking him off.  It's not like a guy who keeps himself going but can control when he finishes.  Most guys try to wait for you to finish and then they'll cum after.  He has to make himself try to cum, it becomes work.  And the conditions have to be a certain way, if the fan is on he will get a cold sweat and it makes him lose focus.  If he is on top of me after a certain amount of time his nose gets stuffy so he does this thing.  He gets distracted by noises and if music is on.  I had a boyfriend who took a 30 seconds and it was so frustrating, I wanted a guy who lasted longer, but not this way.  If he doesn't have to do anything, he would just stay in my pussy all day, just staying there not doing much.  It sounds cute but it isn't.



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176,213 I am trying so hard to get a job and I can't get one.  Sending out resumes calling offices everything.  I need a job.



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176,212 I really don't like my fiancÚ son. But is not for no reason. He is a little brat that does whatever he wants. I mean to the point that he doesn't even respect his father (my fiancÚ) nor his grandparents. He raises his hand to them and all when he gets very mad and becomes aggressive. So now I don't even want him around me or my kids. He is very annoying and clingy with his father. He thinks he is a baby . I just can't.  I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this . Sad part is we have a child now . All I want is my family



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176,211 my number is 3. my husband knows this. when we were first dating and he asked, i made a point of repeating the question back to him so there would be no confusion later. i said, "you want to know how many men i've slept with? the answer is 3." what i didn't tell him and he still doesn't know, i slept with 14 women before i knew him. people change. i was in a different place back then. now i'm married and happy and my past isn't something i regret nor long to repeat.



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176,210 200...TRUTH



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176,209 Once a whore, always a whore? I can tell you this is simply not true. When I was younger, I was more free with myself. Maybe my number is around 50. Some were lovers,  others were strangers. I was lucky though. I never caught anything.  I am 35 now and happy married. I have no desire to stray outside my marriage. My husband is my rock and he keeps me satisfied in every way. He knows the truth about my past and he doesn't judge me. I'm not the same person I was then.



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176,208 I wonder if a man who abused can change. My boyfriend was verbally abusive to me, he had also slapped me. We broke up, back together now for about 10 months. He hasn't hit me. But can someone really change? Or the better question is, do they change?  is 10 months or a year a long enough time to see if they changed? Things have been going good lately, but one thing that used to happen and still does happen, is if we're watching something and it's about a topic he is very intense about, he will get mad. He won't call me names, but his tone will change, he's aggressive in how he speaks to me. The other night we were fooling around, and stopped and something came on and he starts getting mad, but won't admit it, but it's obvious in how he talks to me. Then he says "i'm not doing anything wrong" because he probably knows i can see he's mad even though he's not yelling or name calling. Then he tells me "you gonna finish what you start?" about sucking his dick, meanwhile he was the one who stopped because we were distracted by what we were listening to. He tells me "this is what happens when you direct the conversation" but i didn't say anything! He was leading the whole conversation based on what was on tv! The fucked up shit is I feel like i have to continue sucking his dick even though I'm totally not in the mood to after all that. How is a man gonna tell his girl "you gonna finish what you start?" after he's talking all aggressively at her and angry at something he was watching and taking it out on how he talks to her? We made up and the rest of the night was nice, but is this abuse? Things like that make me hesitate to move in with him.



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176,207 My wife has a friend who is the biggest tart I know. When they were younger, my wife would go out with this woman and they'd meet men. My wife says she never slept with any of these men. Not so sure I believe her. But my wife says her tart friend did sleep with the men. Like a new one every weekend.

Eventually the tart got married. It lasted 18 months.

Then the tart got married again. That also ended in divorce.

The tart continues to sleep around. She works in sales. My wife says she sleeps with the married male clients to get their business.

What's more, I heard a recent story where she went on a ski trip with middle age singles. She slept with several of the men in the same week. Apparently another woman on the trip bawled out the tart for being such a tramp.

I can't imagine what the tart's number is. Must be in the hundreds.  

But here's the punchline. Do you know what happens to women like that?

A month ago she tested positive for HIV. She has full blown symptoms. There are purple marks all over her skin.

Lesson #1: Don't be a slut.

Lesson #2. I'm thinking of all those married business men who got it on with the tart.  Could you imagine. Not only might they now be HIV+, but they could be passing it along to their innocent wives.

We're not talking trailer trash here. This is a well-off, well-educated, suburban tart. She is going to take everyone down.



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176,206 The FIND MY IPHONE app works so infrequently that when my contract runs out in a few months, I'm ditching my Apple phone and going to a different company. What BS.



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176,205 I give myself haircuts. I remove my own warts with an exacto knife. I filed down the sharp edge of my broken tooth with a dremel tool. I put four stitches in a cut on the palm of my hand. You an do all this yourself. Paying the "professionals" isn't worth it in my opinion.



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176,204 20 years ago I fucked this college girl I met in a bar.  Turns out she was a friend of a friend.  No condom.  During sex she told me to cum in her pussy because she couldn't get pregnant.  I just found her Facebook profile through my friend.  She just gave birth to her second kid.  

Why would she fucking tell me she couldn't get pregnant??



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176,203 I think Justin Bieber is gay. Come on, who is he fooling?



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176,202 You're exactly right. A spouse who lies is the worse thing of all because everything he or she says can't be believed. If you cheat, admit it. Because if you don't admit it, then every time you go to the store, every time you come home a little late, every time you get a phone call -- all of it could then be interpreted as more cheating, even if it isn't.

A marriage can possibly survive cheating. But marriage has a much harder time surviving a liar.

Been there. Done that. Now divorced.



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176,201 I still have no idea how many men my wife has been with. The number started as three. Then a few months later. She spoke about a fourth. Wait, I thought you said it was three. Then a year later we were walking in the park and bumped into a guy. She explained she had dated him for a while. But hang on, he wasn't in the four. Then the same thing happened again. That made it six. I just don't know the real answer. I have a problem with this. Not that she was with three or six or a dozen. The problem is that she's not honest about it.



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176,200 A man afraid of a woman who has had lots of sex is very insecure. He's had only a few partners and the idea of his woman having more experience than him intimidates him. I know this man. He sucks in bed and he is the jealous type. If you meet him too, don't waste your time.  Find a real man.



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