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181,099 So what your wife leaves a light on and bread in the toaster? Who cares? Everybody has their quirks and those seem like the most innocent quirks I've ever heard.



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181,098 If we are going to be out for the evening, my wife likes to leave the porch light on so we don't come home to a totally dark house. This sounds reasonable.

Except, she gets anxious that she'll forget to turn the porch light on before we leave. So when she first thinks of the idea at 2 in the afternoon, that's when she turns the light on. It then stays on for the next 10 hours until we get home at midnight. Even though for most of those hours we are home.

This is what she does. Her anxieties get the best of her and she behaves in these odd ways.

Other things she does. She'll want toast for breakfast the next morning. So she puts the bread in the toaster the night before. She doesn't push the button to toast it yet. But yes, she puts the bread in the toaster 10 hours early - as if what, she'll forget to put the bread  in the toaster the next morning?

She has put out a bowl of cereal the night before, where she puts the Cheerios in the bowl. The realy odd part is she'll leave the milk out all night next to the bowl. What is her logic? That's she'll eat cereal the next morning without remembering to put milk and cereal in the bowl, so she better take care of it the night before?

She has dozens of these quirks. I think it's a mental condition. It interferes with the way she lives her life.



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181,097 I really want to raise this issue with you:
Why in the hell are you liking all this girls selfie pictures!?
ALL OF THEM.

I can see of the picture was at least interesting but it's the same damn angled face shot every. Single. Time.

And it seems she posts one every few days.

It's annoying the hell out of me.

Stop feeding her insecurity.



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181,096 Going out with a guy friend tomorrow I haven't seen in a long time. I haven't gotten any in a while. Let's see where this goes...



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181,095 My husband always wear nice ties and suits (custom made) , I guess I'm old fashion but I wish men will put more effort in the way they dress. Doesn't necessarily means you have to wear expensive clothes or suits and ties all the time but how about tucking in your shirt and wearing a belt or at least wearing pants that fit. I seen so many young men with their pants falling down and unfortunately I seen their but cracks when they bend over. I'm sorry but it's not attractive .



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181,094 Trump was warned by whitehouse that North Korea will be his biggest concern and may even have the ability to strike D.C. With a nuclear missile. CNN reported on the concern of the temperament of these two leaders. How about reporting on how Obama failed miserably and left the world in a much more dangerous state.



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181,093 I believe WW III. will start soon. It will be a nuke from Pakistan to India. Then all hell will break loose everywhere.



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181,092 One of the worst things about getting older is the hair in your ears starts to grows. Itches like crazy.



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181,091 When I see a man wearing a really nice suit and tie, I think to myself "who made you dress like some fagged out chick"
I hate to even associate the good name of homosexuals with people like this.



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181,090 I will secretly be waiting for you, forever.



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181,089 Fuck missing people and fuck emotions. Keep Yourself at a distance at all time because You don't know how fucked You'll get by people. I should have done this a long time ago. I shouldn't have let in a race of putrid vile creatures enter my domain. Worthless scum, good for nothing. My hate for humanity has shown to be my greatest asset, for it shows the truth every time.



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181,088 i have nightmares about rape after having happy sex. bear with me, first real sex partner. it is nothing personal.



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181,087 Four cops were shot in the last few days.

Good.

Should have been eight.



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181,086 I have two master's of science degrees... and I voted for Trump.



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181,085 I LOVE picking my buggers.  I love digging for them, I love the wet ones, the dry ones, any kind.  I will make a ball with my thumb and index fingers.  Nothing more relaxing.  

38 y/o



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181,084 Less educated?...Really? Show me your PHD...I'll show you mine...



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181,083 i'm 25 years old and have 50k saved up from working about 4 years, is this good or bad?



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181,082 If I am a racist the Constitution guarantees me that right.



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181,081 I get it.  Trump supporters are less educated, less successful, racist, and a whole host of other negative attributes.  That's all they are.

Clinton supporters, on the other hand, are successful and all about equality.

And the only reason anybody voted for Trump was simply because they weren't smart enough enough otherwise.  They voted against their best interests.  And fake news, too -  the Trump supporters were all bamboozled by fake news.  

Hey!  I just had a radical idea!  Something just occurred to me!  Maybe if liberals stopped thinking everybody was stupid because they disagreed with them, maybe - just maybe! - the liberals would stop getting their asses handed to the in the elections!

I seriously saw a liberal Facebook friend of mine say that there's no reason she should have to ever listen to anybody who believes differently than she does because that means they're racist. I replied that her attitude will guarantee liberals will lose all the elections from here on out.



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181,080 I miss you too.



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181,079 One year ago I had a house full of family. My wife, daughter, my son with schizophrenia and my adopted son.
Since then, my wife passed away. My daughter and son have moved away and I am alone in a big house with my mentally ill adult son.
Life is cruel and cold and lonely.
Cherish what you have. It can literally be gone in a heartbeat.



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181,078 just a fun free tip from me to you:

don't say racist shit out loud.
don't get comfortable threatening women or trans people or Muslimahs.

because there are plenty of psycho fucking pieces of shit out there like me, literal psychos on disability, who are on our last straw being threatened with a life where half of our community starves to death that we have nothing left to lose

and our stupid country lets us have guns!! bc god knows we can build FEMA camps enough to house every citizen in this country, drone the shit out of other people, and spend all that money... but wait three days for a gun?? that seems a little wasteful and infringes on the rights of HUMAN BEEEINGGSSDASDASKJFHAKSDJFHSK right?



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181,077 #076, the irony being that you're the only racist here.



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181,076 I wonder if Trump will make everyone wear black uniforms and throw rocks through the windows of Black people.



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181,075 It's nice that do gooders go to Skid Row and feed the homeless during the holidays.  But what about the rest of the year?



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181,074 That Fuckin' Trump...He's gonna make us get a job...contribute to society...Honor our Vets...Respect our flag...Prosper ...Fuck Him...



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181,073 I've gotten black out drunk and written random shit on here and the next day I read it and I'm like... Oh shit... I wrote that. I've done this at least twice, maybe three times.

Love cavecanum



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181,072 I'm done. I'm over with you only trying to get into my pants. The I love yous. The I miss yous. They don't work. I don't care. I'm done. I'm over it. You have been messing with my head for six years now. It no longer has any effect on me. I never pictured myself getting to the point of you having zero effect on me but here I am. I wish you had more respect for yourself and your family. More respect for me and mine. Here's to the first year without you. Please stop trying to contact me. I will remove all avenues. Best wishes.



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181,071 While is true that 50% of white women voted for Trump, that majority of them only had a high school diploma , according to the exit polls. Can't remember exactly what percentage lack a college education but I believed it was close to 68% or more. While the most educated white women voted for Clinton.



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181,070 I was surprised to learn that 50 plus percent white women voted for trump. I'm a white woman and I most certainly did not vote trump. Then in ibserving social media and real life interactions, I noticed something. Almost all of the white women that voted for trump have had very chaotic lives: messy divorces, estranged kids, severe addictions, abusive relationships or general drama. Then it clicked with me, perhaps these women are used to outrageous behavior that they just don't see trump as out of line. Or maybe they are drawn to the drama makers since that's what they are used to.



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181,069 181016, Your secret made me laugh!  I can totally picture it because I do the same thing with Tina Turners "River Deep, Mountain High". Symphony conducting AND singing.  Thank God no one can hear me because seriously, my singing scares animals.  No one knows I do this, not the husband, best friend, no one (except the pets hiding under the bed).  Carry on maestro!  :-)



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181,068 Trump supporters were content to gamble my civil rights for the sake of their comfort.

They are my enemies.  I will no longer delude myself to believe that we can all be peacefully united.



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181,067 well, off to see my regular hooker again...



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181,066 There was way undercooked bacon in my Walmart sandwich yesterday, so now I'm riddled with thoughts of parasites.

Like everything else I won't do anything about.



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181,065 I'm a terrible boss. Basically I hate people. People are stupid. Do I really have to tell you how to staple a two page document? I mean, you went to college. But I have to tell you not to put the staple in the middle of the page, because then I can't read what you wrote on the second page. You need to put the staple in the top left corner. Is this really news to you? My problem, I can't help pointing this out to an employee. I'm then viewed as mean. Okay, I'm mean. But you are stupid. And guess what. Christmas bonuses are coming up and I will get the last word.



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181,064 My wife HATES porn, finds it sexist and degrading.

A few years ago we were traveling in Europe, stayed in a hotel in Vienna that had a free porn channel. We found it while lying in bed, flipping through the channels.
Left it on for a bit, there was a video of a threesome with two guys and a girl.
I went down on my wife while she watched the video. Usually she takes 20 to 30 minutes to orgasm. While watching the video she came in about 3 minutes. She never came that quickly, either before or since.

Did I tell you how much my wife HATES porn?



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181,063 the only way i can have sex with my girlfriend is if i take viagra and think of fucking one of my ex-girlfriends or the many hookers I've seen since I started going out with her. My girlfriend is a really nice person but she totally sucks in bed and won't change. sex is dirty she thinks. she only does it as a "favor" to me. I dont see this relationship lasting.



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181,062 056- That is NOT true!  Someone loves you. I send you my love today! Please know that you ARE a beautiful person and the world is better with you in it!



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181,061 I think it is polite to call her Mrs. Smith as that is the way the children address her. It shows your kid that you respect her as well.Just my opinion.



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181,060 I'm never sure, when I'm talking to my child's teacher, should I use the teacher's first name? Or am I supposed to do it the way the children do and say, for example, Mrs. Smith?



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181,059 I'm terrified of public speaking. Although I could do more with my life, I hold myself back so I can keep a low profile and NEVER have to speak in public.



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181,058 I think it's funny how all these public officials were against Trump. But once Trump won, now they are all accepting job offers from him. Anything to further their own ambitions! Aren't they a little embarrassed at how they behaved?



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181,057 I was kinda bummed out this morning... Half an hour with my rampant rabbit solved that though ;)



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181,056 The world sucks. People are nasty as all get out. It wears me down.

But every so often I come a cross a bright cheerful voice. My daughter's guidance counselor for example. She's so upbeat and helpful. To her, anything is possible. I feel like I instantly have a friend on my side.

It's people like her who make the world a decent place. I think the trick is to find more and more of the good eggs. and embrace them.



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181,055 I really wish the Founding Fathers added a recall provision in The Constitution.

This is going to be a long four year embarrassment.



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181,054 I am not important. I am not special. I do not make a difference. I do not make the world better. I am broken. I am not nice enough. I am ugly. I am not good enough. I get what I deserve; nothing.



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181,053 I have nothing but admiration for Les Claypool.



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181,052 Hey, guys!

I haven't showered much lately.

On one hand, my water bills have never been lower.

On the other hand, my face is like the recently-capsized Exxon Valdez!
¡Cuidado, piso mojado!



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181,051 HA!  My ex-boyfriend got fat & disheveled! That's what you get, Douglas!



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181,050 So many people give so much power to what others are doing when all it does is zap their energy and rarely solves whatever situation they are angry about.
Anger only gives you more of the same and usually ends up making a person feel drained.  What you put into the world always comes back so you might as well stick to the positive stuff.



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181,049 I'm finding myself attracted to my roommate. He doesn't know I'm into dudes (I think? If he does know then he's sending out some confusing signals.)

I see him as my brother essentially. I guess I need to get laid or something. But damn he is looking good.



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181,048 if i could add all the stupid in the world I would only end up in the negative and regret knowing you.



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181,047 deleted



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181,046 I fucking hate your ex husband..I told you be honest with me and you said you were...but you lied to my face... You said your son texted you, but I saw it was him. For fucks sake, he needs to get the damn point he's an ex!! I saw the secret invite for the family dinner. He's trying to keep you involved with his family, what about me dear, what about me. We are in a relationship together, I don't need a third wheel. He's always saying our son needs this and you know damn well they money gets spent on other things. Advice to divorcee, cut the bullshit, let me go and be happy because the other person tends to suffer.....in silence....



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181,045 I loved being anorexic. I felt most proud of myself when I was at my thinnest. People don't understand how good it feels to have mastered your self control. You know why I stopped? I damaged my heart muscle. The doctors said I ate so little my heart became too thin and started beating funny. Scary feeling. So now I eat enough to stay out of the damaged heart zone. I wish I could go back though and be ultra thin again.



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181,044 There seems to be this absurd premise that if you run for public office and lose, then you can't be prosecuted for any crimes you may have committed.

I don't remember seeing this rule in the law books. I do remember we have laws and that all of us are to be treated equally. I thought that meant political candidates too.

I guess not.

Same old same old.



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181,043 In and out of hospitals since I was 12. Now 27. Highest weight was 145, lowest 91. Now at 115. I hate it! I want to be at 87 lbs. This is my ideal. Seen many therapists, had a few drop me as a patient. I never take my meds, to afraid of weight gain. Been hospitalized for complications from my eating disorder, I see doctors. Get prescribed iron, potassium, vitamin d... never take any of it. I just flush it. I really don't give a fuck about being healthy, just thin. Thin is all that matters. I continue to purge. Gotten lucky this year. Have managed to stay away from hospitals, but that's actually because I lost my insurance. I'm feeling the symptoms of low potassium again. I should go to the ER, but I can't afford it. Hopefully this will finally kill me. I'm tired of having this thing dominate every aspect of my life, but to afraid of recovery and getting fatter than I already am. I also don't want to get stuck with a six digit total medical bill. If I get help again, I'm stuck with those bills. If I die I never have to worry about any of it again. But I don't want to die yet. I'm to fat. I have to get back to under 100.. 115 is just to fat.



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181,042 I think sanctuary cities are racist. Think about it. All those funds spent to provide illegal aliens welfare, housing, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.--guess who isn't getting that money? African Americans. People who were born and raised in this country--whose families have been here for generations, longer than those of most white people--and the liberals are throwing them under the bus to cater to people who aren't even here legally? That's crap! Just shows you where African Americans REALLY stand in the eyes of liberals...at the bottom of the barrel, yet again. There's something seriously wrong with this picture, and if I were African American, I would be seriously pissed.



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181,041 This year will be the first year I do not spend thanksgiving or Christmas with my parents. Not because of my parents but because I cannot stand to be around my toxic brother.

I attempted to spare his feeling by not telling him the real  reason why we arent going. He is the reason. He is toxic and dysfunctional.

So he text me oldest daughter and ask her where she was spending thanksgiving. This angered me because I already told him.

So I text him and tell him "didn't I already tell you we were going to mom's? Why are you asking my kids?"

His response:You know, when they (our parents)  are gone and you're there with you hands out be ready for a fight! I'm going to make sure you don't
see shit!"

My point exactly of why we aren't going to spend thanksgiving with my mother.

Nick you are such an idiot! I hate you!



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181,040 I had sex with him today even though I didn't want to. My head hurt. I think I'm getting the flu. I told him so. He wanted sex anyway. I'm beginning to change my view of him. It's always about what he wants. Not sure I want a man like him.



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181,039 I still can't tell how I feel about you; I love it when you give me the attention you do, but maybe it's the attention I like and not you specifically. And I feel like I'm being unfaithful to the man I love every time you make me smile or blush, even though he isn't the slightest bit interested in me as anything other than a friend.

But then there's the older guy who *does* like me... but I can only see as a friend no matter how sweet and kind he is, and who I feel guilty about him having feelings for me, even though I was very plain from the start that friendship was the only thing on the menu and I never remotely led him on or encouraged him to like me.

Or there's the guy who acts 15 years younger, who hasn't seen me for years and seems convinced that I'm hot no matter how much I tell him I've aged badly. He wants me, badly, but he is also immature and shallow and I know will change his mind as soon as he sees what I look like now.

All these complications. Why do I have to have feelings for anyone, and why does anyone have feelings for me? It would be so much simpler if I could just turn them all off with a flick of a switch - no more guys liking me and me feeling guilty as hell because I don't reciprocate those feelings, and no more pining after someone who will never love me back.



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181,038 Most people at work take the approach of not knowing what they are talking about, but faking it. They spew meaningless BS in an attempt to sound impressive. Clients buy into the fake shit more than I thought possible. It just shows the clients were faking it on their side too.

Me, I took a different approach. I stay late and understand what's going on and offer clients real solutions. I don't find I'm more successful than the fakers. Because as I said, the clients don't know the difference anyway.

All I managed to do was work too many hours for the same results.

Worth it? Hell no. I'm going to become a faker and have much more free time in my life.



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181,037 Unforgettable. That's what you are.



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181,036 im getting sick of my girlfriend not giving head and sick of skanky whores who do.



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181,035 He's not up "working" he's tweeting like a 14yr old girl.

Awesome.



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181,034 E.S. I need you so badly in my life. I messed up. I love you. Please come back to me.



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181,033 Yeah...


You're all so Fucking irrational.



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181,032 I miss you, E.



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181,031 About half the times we have sex my wife fakes her orgasms. It so obvious. Normally it takes her anywhere from half an hour to an hour to orgasm. But there are times we have to be somewhere and suddenly she orgasms within a few minutes. Obvious and disappointing.



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181,030 Thanks to media hype, for 30 years I didn't eat eggs, or bacon, of coffee, or alcohol, or steak, or butter. and a bunch more things. I was conditioned to believe if I had a bacon and egg sandwich, I'd keel over and die instantly of a heart attack.

Eventually I got old enough where I no longer cared. I've been eating whatever I want for the last few years. Hey, nothing bad happened.



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181,029 020...He is not letting her walk...The President can, but usually does not interfere with a D.O.J investigation...You heard Obama...Trust me...Trump will seem to be above it all, while Sessions does the deed...All planned out...



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181,028 You ever get a gut feeling that a friendship isn't going to last? They say you are who yoi hang out with, and my best friend is one of those. I feel like with her habits and the habits i give into with her, I'm never gonna be successful unless i break things offf. That may have already started though...I've had this feeling for awhile though. And I've wanted to avoid it, but aftwr today i have a feeling i was right



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181,027 My school canceled their plans to go see Hamilton. I'm glad.



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181,026 A president who is working at three in the morning and is communicating directly with the public. Yeah, being asleep at 3 am while Americans die or being on the golf course or vacation for the 80086th time is soooo much better!



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181,025 Steven Segal movies are actually quite good. The bad guys always get what's coming to them. We need more of this in real life.



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181,024 One thing i hate about myself sometimes is my eagerness to help others. Not ever in a martyring way, but as soon as i get good standing in life, i see someone close to me in need and they end up dragging me down. I do it because I've barely ever had financial or emotional support from my parents, so i try to be that support for others as much as i can. And it's nice to be nice and all, but i can't help but think of how it hinders my success to help out so much. If I'm being really honest, it's only one friend of mine that's really making me feel this way. I jusy should have kept quiet instead of offering to help this time.



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181,023 We have a President who stays up all night Tweeting. Now he just posted a 'Facebook' message outlining his plans for his first 颼days'

I can not see how this won't end well.



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181,022 I just flat out avoid my family this time of year, I text my Mom because she doesn't know how to text. if she did I would get a novel long text of what a horrible person I am. I don't relate to my sister on any level. so I only contact her via email or FB. it's just me and my dog, and friends, you can't choose your family, but I hope you are blessed to have good friends who care about you. growing up my mom used to tell me over and over that no one liked me, it was funny, because every time she said it (which was often) it would confuse me, because I knew I had a lot of friends.



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181,021 There sure are a lot of sexual sadists and closet psychopaths in this world. God help single women if this is the only shit we have to choose from... :-(



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181,020 Big mistake Trump. I voted for you because you promised to prosecute Clinton. Now your letting her walk free.

TYPICAL LYING POLITICIAN.



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181,019 Back in my late 'teens, I lived with my folks, and like most boys my age, I masturbated CONSTANTLY!  It wasn't long before I began experimenting with different techniques, toys, etc.... Then, one day I found myself particularly bored, and since everyone else was out elsewhere for the afternoon, I decided to slip into the bathroom and rub one out.  As I sat there on the toilet, I started gazing around the room, looking for anything that may be interesting to try masturbating with. Eventually, I noticed a tube of my Mother's lipstick, and I felt my pecker begin to swell instantly!  I knew I had to investigate this new treasure & see how I might make use of it!  I stood there with my prick in one hand, and Mom's lipstick in the other - at first, I had no idea what to do with it, then it suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning - I began carefully painting the head of my dick with Mom's lipstick, all the while imagining her painting her soft, sweet lips with this same stick after it had been all over my penis! Then, of course, I imagined her beautiful lips all over my pecker!  I always had the hots for Mom, and even years later, when my sister and I began having sex, I'd close my eyes and instantly, I'd be making love to my sweet, loving mother! If only it could've happened just ONCE before she passed away!  To be fair, it was a lot of fun boning my sister, but I think she kinda knew I wished she were Mom.  Ah, well, at least I got to shoot a bunch of loads in her!



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181,018 In the spirit of the butt stories going around I will tell one of mine. I met this girl who, for whatever reason, would do anything I told her. She was really damaged when it came to submission. One day  I told her I wanted to fuck her ass and she cried because she didn't want to do it, so I told her to get the fuck out of my house. Instead she sniffled and dropped her pants and got on her hands and knees on the bed. I got some baby oil and lubed up my cock and got it hard. She was whimpering with her head on her arms and her ass high. "Fuck my ass," she whimpered, "Fuck my ass". It was so tight, even with the lube, that I could barely get the head in and she was sobbing with pain, but I pushed real hard and she started screaming, "Fuck my ass! Fuck my ass!" and I got the head past that first tight inch and I was in. I pounded her ass for all it was worth until I squirted so much cum in it. She was sobbing the  entire time and screaming or whispering "Fuck my ass" over and over like a mantra. When I pulled my cock out her asshole was wrecked and cum was dripping out. I told her to wipe her shit off my cock and with cum running out of her ass she got a towel and face cloth and cleaned me off. "It really hurts," she said to me accusingly. "You could have left anytime." I said. She sat on the toilet and farted out cum and shit and whimpered because it hurt. I watched her  from the door with my hands on my hips. The next time she stopped over all she said was "Fuck my ass". That's all she ever wanted after that, although, while she was farting out the cum on the toilet, I would often piss on her too. She liked that a lot for some reason. She liked piss on her tits but not on her face so I made sure to get lots of piss on her face, too. And she i would never let her shower until she cleaned up all the piss around the toilet. She  was very submissive.



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181,017 So. I'm going to reveal the most embarrassing moment of my life. I can't believe I'm doing this... XD

About 5 years ago I was staying over at a guy's house for a couple of days and nights. This was probably the second or third day of my stay. I felt like I had a urinary tract infection coming on from forgetting to pee after sex from the night before. Me, being the dumbass I am, decided to try to cure it with cranberry juice. I went out and bought a bottle of the juice to drink down and hopefully flush out the bacteria. When I got home, we had dinner and then he fell asleep on the couch. I went back to his room to change into my pajamas for the night.

Did you know that cranberry juice is a laxative in large amounts? I did not know this, but I was about to learn. I was sitting on the floor when I felt a foreboding rumble in my innards. One of those rumbles where you know shit's about to get fucked up real quick.

Then it happened. Before I could even get up to run to the toilet, I crapped my pants. They were my favorite sweats. It ran down my legs. And it just kept coming out. It was like that scene on Bridesmaids after they ate that bad Brazilian food.

There was shit ALL OVER the bathroom floor. All over the toilet. It looked like a poop massacre. I was fucking mortified. How was I supposed to clean this all up?!? I counted myself lucky that none got on the carpet. The bathroom smelled like a sewer. I needed to fix this fast before he woke up and came back to his room to go to bed.

First thing I did was start the shower to cover up the sounds of me cleaning up the poop. I used toilet paper to scoop it up and flush it. Took me a good 15 minutes to manage it. Had to wipe down the toilet. Flip over the bamboo mat after wiping it down (thank god it was a fluffy bath mat!! I'd wished I had a god damned shovel because that's what I honestly needed to clean it all up.

The bathroom smelled pretty horrible, so I opened the window in addition to turning on the fan and spraying body spray. Then I got in the shower and contemplated my clean up and made sure I had all my bases covered. The sweats would go in a plastic bag that was holding my hair stuff. I very well couldn't just throw away a shitty pair of pants without questions being raised.

Finally, the filth of my own excrement was washed away, and I felt human again. What a fucking ordeal. To my delight, he was still snoozing out on the couch when I got out of the shower.

Not a trace of poo was left. Not another soul on earth knew about what happened, but I was still more embarrassed than any other point in my entire life. If only he knew about the literal shit show that went on in his bathroom! He would be using that bathroom every day not knowing what horrors had taken place there. He turned out to be a complete jerk, so now I don't ever feel bad about it.

I was completely fucking humiliated and mortified even though I was the only person in earth who knew about it, I did learn a couple of valuable lessons about when the limits of humans are tested to the max.

1. Cranberry juice is a laxative if you drink 2/3 of the bottle in 4 hours. Beware its tart goodness.

2. I have in me the ability to bail myself out of the worst of situations without anyone's help. I can do it all on my own. And honestly, that's pretty fucking empowering. I do wish it didn't have to take something like this to teach me that, though.

There. There's my most embarrassing moment. Laugh away.



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181,016 This is my favorite stress buster. Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Turn on the Disney movie "Fantasia." Not that "Fantasía 2000" nonsense. I'm talkin' about the OG Fantasia from the 1940s. Flash forward to the Greek mythology part.

Okay, there's this scene with Bacchus the god of wine and he's having this big-ass wine party with all these centaur honeys and everyone is drunk af and partying like an Andrew WK album.

Here's what I do. The music is really pumped up and raucous. It is at this point that I start pretending like I'm a god damned symphony orchestra conductor with my little conductor wand and I conduct the FUCK out of that imaginary symphony orchestra. I march and skip around the room. I wave my hands around madly and point to the imaginary sections of the orchestra. You gotta get way into it. Make motherfucking Mozart's ghost so proud he's weeping tears of joy in his grave. Make that fucking orchestra your bitch.

It's only like 5 minutes long, but I promise you it works wonders when I'm stressed and need to be a little silly to let off some steam. If anyone catches you in the act, tell them to piss off or join you as co-conductor. There is no middle ground. Also, ain't nobody sayin' you can't put that scene on repeat and do it all over again. I do all the time.

I don't think the people I know would really get it or get into it like I do, so I've decided to share with the Cave. You're all welcome. Now go blow off some damn steam, for fuck's sake.



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181,015 When I was younger, even in elementary school, I preferred being alone. I liked having friends, but in very small doses. At a certain point, no matter the circumstances, I needed to be alone. As I grew up and started gaining more control of my life, I pushed away more and more people and started becoming somewhat of a hermit. It wasn't until I got out of a very toxic relationship while at the same time having my, at this point, only friend move away that I truly isolated myself from the world. The relationships I did hold with other people were impersonal and strictly online, and those have faded out into nothing as well.

Now, I regret those decisions, because as I grow older, there's nothing more I want in this world than to have an active social life. But as time has passed and one unfortunate event after another, my social skills are next to none. My self esteem is virtually nonexistent but I can manage to muster up the needed confidence to hold a job and keep my coworkers at bay from where I stand. There's no one I can blame but myself. I know that fixing this is as easy as confronting what I've been avoiding and setting my personal hangups aside, but instead I do no such thing. I do the same thing I've done since I was expelled from high school many years ago. I smoke pot, I chain smoke cigarettes, and I play single player video games while having conversations with absolutely nothing.

I've come to rely on sites like this as a way to clear my head. I don't want to bother my family with this mindless blabber, and I've been in therapy enough to know that even when you pay someone to listen, they really couldn't give less of a fuck. You can find the same "therapy" by having conversations with absolutely nothing…

Anyway, I'm tired of thinking. Maybe one day things will be different if I put in the effort to make it that way, but even though I catch myself sometimes contemplating what I shouldn't, I'm sort of happy with how things are right now, as fucked up as it feels to say that. I can't even find the logic in that. But it's true. Maybe this really is just "me". Eh, like I said, I'm tired of thinking.

Until next time absolutely nothings…



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181,014 R-
I remember the day we met in high school like it were yesterday. Instant best friends, like we had known each other all of our lives. Our friendship survived your girlfriends who hated me and even years apart when life took us in different directions. I'm sorry that our friendship had to end after you got married and I hope you knew that even though that's how it ended I never stopped calling you my friend. I've never forgotten you.

It's been 10 years since we've spoken and tonight I found out you passed away in your sleep last night. My heart is breaking. I can only hope that you knew the love in my heart was and will forever be unconditional.

Rest In Eternal Peace my friend. I miss you.
-E



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181,013 You are now in a codependent pillhead relationship with another serial liar/cheater.

God, I am SO jealous...I hope it ends in a murder/suicide.



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181,012 Man, I hope I can figure a way out of this one for all of our sakes.



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181,011 My best friend and love of my life was granted clemency on August 3, 2016. After serving 17 years on his first and only non-violent drug crime he comes home June 7, 2017. While incarserated he's made great strides to improve him self. He's received multiple come cation letters from other inmates, correctional officers and teachers. He is a good man and Obama thought it fitting and deserving to grant him clemency.

The problem is...he will be released with nothing but the clothes on his back. I'm barely making ends meet. He'll need everything. Clothes, shoes, socks, toiletries and a cell phone.

Praying for an answer.

Dallas, TX female just trying to do something good and pay it forward.



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181,010 85: Thank you stranger for your sweet poop story with your husband! Very glad that there exists men who don't lose consciousness at bodily excretions!   I guess since I see porn and the stars' butts are extremely clean, it's warped the way I see/expect my body.

My boyfriend likes to press a finger on mine, but I'm never sure if its gonna come out gross, so i'm very self-conscious. He hasn't complained yet so I guess it's okay.

I want to hear more butt stories!!!

Signed,
ButtPlayMaybeOneDay



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181,009 Given the fact that Obama is a demonstrably good man. Given the fact that the right showed Obama zero respect from the day he won the election in 2008. Given the fact the Republicans vowed to block everything Obama would try to achieve with the goal of making him a one-term president.

Given the fact Trump is a demonstrably disgusting human being. Given the fact that many of his supporters are racists, misogynists, and xenophobes. Given the fact Trump is appointing a terrible cast of characters around him for his Cabinet.

Then I say I will not ever give Trump one shred of respect. None. He deserves nothing but our scorn.

The right said Obama was the "worst president ever" since before he even took office. I will say the same (with, of course a touch of irony) about Trump from 9/8/2016 through when he leaves office in 2021.



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181,008 180988 - Exactly!  That's why I can't afford to be nice anymore either.



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181,007 This hypocrisy is not a secret on the right, but it will obviously miss some people...

So a baker MUST make a cake for a gay wedding but it's OK to refuse to sell clothes to the First lady?

I hate making political statements on CaveCanum.  I selectively post only one for every 5 regular/salacious revelation.



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181,006 How come a winner of the Presidential election has still not been decided in Michigan? That's embarrassing. Do we think they will actually make a decision before the inauguration in January? At times, we are like a third world country.



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181,005 Your silence kills me. I often wish that you would confront me or start a fight with me because at least then I would be able to harbor the delusion that you actually gave a shit. ☹



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181,004 Sometimes one of my more introverted friends posts something on facebook. I make a point of liking the post, even if it's dumb. I'm trying to be encouraging and help my shy friend's self esteem.



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181,003 I need to get away from my wife. She has an awful personality. She's whiny, needy, and demanding. Not just of me, but of everyone. She has no friends.

Why did I marry her? Why didn't I see her faults before? Because I only saw her pussy.



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181,002 Every year I get older I realize that much more how fast life goes. I'm terrified.  F/30



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181,001 998. I liked women with big titties all my life until I went completely insane about a girl with small breasts. They have this sort of elegance about them, a charm like no other, instead of having curves and taking them for granted a lot of women with small breasts have worked on their personality and know how to be devastatingly charming. Fucking hell, I never knew what I was missing until now.



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181,000 I wish Trump's first act as President would be to ban Christmas music in stores!



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