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183,999 I turned perv and spied on my sister in law. My wife and I went to her sister's house for Thanksgiving. We were spending the night. Everyone went to bed around midnight. My sister in law announced she was going to take a shower first then hit the hay. I was very aware the master bathroom had no curtains. It was in the back of the house. It looked out on woods. She probably never though there was a need for curtains. Wrong. I told my wife I needed to get some things out of the car. I went out the front door, but instead of going to the car, I snuck around back to the bathroom window. I watched her undress. I watched her pee. I watched her shower. I watched her dry off after the shower and put on lotion.  I then came back inside and fucked my wife. My wife had no idea that while I was pounding her I was thinking about her sister naked.



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183,998 We don't exist to help others. We exist for ourselves. To be self-reliant, to take when needed, to give when there's a use for it, to cooperate with others when we have more to gain than to lose. Giving away something for free is the most foolish thing we can do for others. People are scum, and deserve to be treated like scum, like the lowlifes they are.



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183,997 My biggest character flaw is that when my feelings get hurt I say some messed up, horrible things. I don't mean any of it. My emotions take over and my common sense flies out the window. The guilt I feel afterward is terrible. I have to be better. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hurting the people I care about. I can't keep hurting myself this way either.



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183,996 If I could do life over again, boy would I do it differently. I wouldn't be such a hot head. I would try so much harder to get along with people. I wouldn't have wasted so much time in pursuit of sex. Unbelievable how much energy I've spent getting laid. It worked. I got laid all the time. But if I had instead used that time to work harder, I'd be so much more successful. Other things, I would keep up contact with my family. I cut them out of my life at an early age. In the end, they aren't such bad people. I snoop on them via Facebook. They turned out okay. More things, I would take better care of my teeth. Hear me on this young people. Floss! Don't do what I did and ruin your teeth. Possibly the biggest thing I would do differently, I would not get married. It's not worth it. I was much happier as a single person.



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183,995 People take advantage of me. Moan. Why do I let them?

6 years ago I had a child in elementary school. At that time the school wanted to create a computer lab. They called me and asked if I could set it up free of charge, as a volunteer, seeing I had a child in the school. They knew I did this sort of thing for a living.

But okay. It was for a good cause, helping my son's school. Normally I'd charge thousands of dollars. There was plenty of work involved. I had to run network cables, set up a server, and configure each machine with the proper software packages. It was about a month's worth of work.

It didn't stop there either. Soon enough, a hard drive would break. I'd replace it. Some computers got viruses. I'd clean them up. Over the years some mother boards would crash. I'd hodgepodge together various pieces of other broken machines and get things running again. We started with 60 computers. By last year we had 51 still functional. Not bad for 6 year old devices.

And I did all of this free of charge.

Last year the school district allocated the money to switch over to chromebooks. They gave me a call. Could I volunteer to set them up with software packages etc.

I was honest with them. I can't do it anymore. I gave them my time freely for all these years. I never let them down. But it is time for me to move on. My son will soon be going to college. I just don't have the time to give them anymore.

They understood.

A few weeks later they called back. They asked if they could pay me to do it. And could I possibly give them a discount seeing they were a school.

Ummmm. Sigh. Okay. I told them it would normally cost $8,000 to take on all the work of setting up the new chromebooks. But seeing I live in the community, I'll do it for half price, $4,000.

They happily agreed.

I did the work over last summer. It took another month. Everything was wireless, which sounds like it would be easier, except I had to install wireless routers all throughout the school.

Buy okay, I got it done.

When completely finished, I submitted an invoice to the school district in October.

I heard nothing back for months. Finally this January they contacted me saying they were not going to pay. They didn't have the money in the budget. There was nothing they could do about it.

You kidding? They promised to pay. We had a verbal agreement. But they reneged. That's low. I'm feeling very abused at the moment.

Over the past month they have contacted me half a dozen times about computer problems. Some students have dropped their chromebooks and the screens broke, and/or the devices stopped working entirely. They are asking if I can come in and make repairs.

I cringe at these people. They want me to help after stiffing me on the invoice????

Arrrrggg. I always try to be a good helpful person. But I can't do it. I've been ignoring their messages. It takes a certain kind of enlarged body part to ask for my help again. What would you do? Help them after they refused to pay? Nope. I'm going to stand my ground on this one. It makes me feel guilty. But they are trying to take advantage of my kindness.

Stop calling me!



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183,994 I don't crave connections or friendship. Ever since I moved out, I'm perfectly content being by myself. All my friends are taking it personally like I have something against them, but the truth is I don't care what they think anymore. Now that I'm on my own, I just want everyone to go away. The less they know, the better.



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183,993 The Democrats owe Trump an apology.



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183,992 My first husband didn't like overweight women.  To be more exact, he despised them.  I wasn't overweight when we met (134 at 5Ƌ") but there was an unspoken pressure to be thinner.  I dropped down to 124.  I still have clothes from back then and am shocked at how small they are.  I was tiny.  I put on more weight than I should have when I was pregnant.  I worked very hard to lose it.  I was so focused on losing weight that I didn't realize that I was - and how much - until a friend commented that my clothes were hanging off of me.  I looked down, and they were!  But how?  The scale said otherwise.  Then it hit me.

I went home and asked my husband how much he weighed.  Then I asked him to get on the scale in my bathroom.  (We had separate bathrooms.)  Just as I had suspected.  It had been adjusted 20 pounds higher.

My second husband is the opposite.  He's a Southern boy and thinks women should have some meat on them.  I was 135 when we met.  In less than a year I'd put on more than 20 pounds.  He's a meat and potatoes guy, and likes to cook big, fattening meals.  If I don't eat every bit of what he puts on my plate, he gets offended.  He also insists on dessert after every meal.

It's nearly impossible to stay on a diet.  He constantly sabotages me.  I announced last October that I HAD to lose weight.  Suddenly, we were going out to eat 4-5 times a week.  He knows I love to go out.  Sigh.

Last week he took a picture of me when I wasn't looking, and put it on FB.  I look like a fat fucking cow. I stepped on the scale, and I cried.  I was now up to 165.  That's it!  I promptly went out and bought loads of fruits, vegetables, herbs and spices.  I spent an hour and a half chopping everything up, preparing separate baggies to freeze for morning smoothies.  I put veggies and fruits in sectioned containers so I can make quick salads and healthy lunches.

This was fine for a couple days.  On Monday I was going to make chicken fajitas for the family.  I was only going to eat the chicken and veggies myself.  But, he came home with two pizzas and soda.  Yesterday, he was working 2nd shift.  He left for work, but came back 20 minutes later - with fried chicken, just enough for me and my daughter for dinner.  Wtf.  He's NEVER left for work and come back with food. It's not like he can't see the huge package of chicken sitting in the fridge, the one I pulled out on Monday. This morning he took the dog to the park, and returned with donuts, and promptly placed the bag right in front of me.  I can't remember the last time he brought donuts home.

Why can't these fucking men just let me be the weight I want to be???



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183,991 I work with adults with intellectual disabilities and I can honestly say that as far as integrity, kindness, compassion, creativity, and basic people sense goes..they are head and shoulders above most people who are so-called "normally developed". Don't shy away from people with disabilities. Introduce yourself. Get to know them. They are amazing. Your life will be changed for the better.



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183,990 You ever have an experience with another person an when you listen to them recall the experience to another person it sounds totally different than what you experienced?

Yeah - that's kind of like how the last 4 years of my life has been with a certain person.



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183,989 I want to try DMT.
I'm tired of being afraid of everything in my life.



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183,988 I am the quintessential boring, white, suburban , married white guy. Middle management job & all.
My secret: Once or twice a year I go out and have sex with other men. More to the point I get fucked by other men. I let strange men use me as their cum-dumpster. Then I go home to the wife & kids and my boring ass life.

The urge is upon me.



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183,987 I have NO idea how I'm going to get myself out of this situation.  NO fucking clue, but it's a mess that will likely leave a mark for the rest of my life.



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183,986 I sounds nutzy paranoid, but I don't pleasure myself in my bedroom. If anyone planted a hidden camera, that's where it wud be. My solution is to lay down on the rug in the dining room. No creeper peeper would think to put a camera there.



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183,985 Hey 85. How the fuck do you expect the deficit to react to a
$ 26 billion wall, a 51% increase of the military budget, $1trillion toward infrastructure to private businesses, and a tax cut?



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183,984 Please delete 183979. I wrote it, but I don't feel that way now. Just defeated. Thank you.



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183,983 I hurt all over.



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183,982 While watching President speech last night I realized how the USA just missed the bullet. It could have been Mrs. Clinton standing there with her cronies like Schumer, Pelosie, Warren etc-and the rest of the career politicians of Washington DC sitting on their hands -dressed in white as protest- and sulking like spoiled kids .How mature!
It would have been the same old same.Empty promises to keep their minority victims pacified while knowing it would have been business as usual and tripling the debt once again.The new President has surrounded him with business people who knows how the world works .All politician know is to spend other peoples money and talking the talk! Lets see how the next four years changes America for the better.



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183,981 i have lost my husband.  we are going thru a divorce and i am devastated.  I am to blame, it is my fault.  I cheated on him and he found out.  I caught him talking to a 13 year old girl 5 years ago when he was 42 and he admitted just a few months ago that it was about sex, up until then he had always said it was about hunting.  I know i knew all along that it was more than that.  It really hurt me and grossed me out.  I was faithful to him for 19 years then after that i started cheating on him. He found out in july and we have been fighting ever since.  I have the 2nd epo on him as we speak.  I know i should move on and i guess in a sense i have to because he has filed for divorce since the last epo.  I just want him back so bad.  I cry all the time and i am in so much pain.  I love him and realize now that i made a huge mistake by cheating.  I can't take it back and he just doesn't have it in his heart to forgive me.  I just want to die.  I cry every day and i beg GOD to soften his heart towards me and for him to forgive me.  I am so alone.



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183,980 Fuck him. fucking asshole.



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183,979 I'm dead without he. I literally have no clue what to do.



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183,978 After the divorce I had one rebound relationship and three serious ones. I know for sure that my ex husband would come back in a heartbeat if I asked him to. Two out of my ex-boyfriends are friends and would love to get back together. My secret is when I am with a man, I treat him like the king. This does not mean that I totally submit to him. I'm quite opinionated and have my own likes/desires/hobbies. But each time I try to be the best girlfriend I can ever be. Each time I know that I cannot give more than I'm already giving.
What I am wondering is if my third boyfriend will try to come back. Out of all of them, he's the only one I want to be back with. I can only hope.



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183,977 Here's what republicans and libertarians don't seem to understand: taxation, in and of itself, is not theft. Taxing citizens under the guise of repairing roads or building schools, then turning around and spending billions on warmongering and corporate bailouts is theft. So maybe stop electing people who do that, eh?



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183,976 We enter love so optimistically, as if life is pure joy. We leave love destroyed, as if life is torture. Truth is both.



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183,975 967 I'm sooo sorry that's horrible!  I would have given you a hug.  That girl was horrible please don't let that keep you from opening up to a woman...



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183,974 967, she was an immature fool. I am so sorry that happened to you. Any mature, adult woman with a heart would have never responded that way.



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183,973 Oh wait. She just has fleas.



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183,972 I just discovered my rabbit is barbering. I'd noticed her chewing on her fur a little but i didn't realize it got so bad. I don't check on her or let her out enough. It's really bad. I just know it's from stress, because i don't clean her hutch enough or let her out unless I'm cleaning it, so she gets out maybe once every couple of weeks, even though they're supposed to be out for 30 minutes every day. I always get ashamed when i remember this.

I shouldn't have never taken her from my friend. Problem is, she's already an adoptee, so if i brought her back to the MSPCA she'd likely be killed, and none of my friends can afford a rabbit. So I'm just stuck with her, or rather, she's stuck with a shitty owner.

Ugh, i wish i wanted her, or cared enough to take care of her better. The only thing that makes me improve is when i see physical signs of distress...I really shouldn't be a pet owner. I feel bad for her.

Welp, either buck up and treat her better, or sell her to someone who will.



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183,971 What a warm volley. A guy tells his secret about crying and several women respond with kindness. It gives me hope that there are good people in this world.



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183,970 I need to change my life. First up, I need a job to get out of this rut I'm in. I have mad programming skills. I've written fun programs many of you have used. Really, many of you have played a game I wrote. I've also created two serious websites many of you have used. But no one will hire me. You know why? Because I'm over 50. Experience doesn't seem to count anymore.



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183,969 3967, I am so sorry that happened to you,  that is so cold! Please don't let it make you shut yourself away for life. All women are not so cruel as her. If it were me, I would have held you close in my arms like you deserved to be,  run my nails through your hair and told you that everything was going to be okay. I wish I could substitute that in your memory instead.



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183,968 J, I love you...please let me show it.



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183,967 183967--- what a painful experience! Please don't let one woman's callousness in the past prevent you from opening up to someone worthy in the future.



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183,966 I bared my soul once to a woman. I cried in front of her. Very hard to admit. My parents had just split up. I was 19. It was tough on me. I talked to my then girlfriend about it and I lost it emotionally. I sobbed for a few minutes. I still remember, she stayed on the other side of the room. No warm sympathetic hug. She stayed away from me and then said, "What the hell is wrong with you. Grow up!" We broke up a few days later. (She dumped me.)

This was the only time I showed my emotions to a woman. Never again.



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183,965 I work at a tech company, very well-known for social media.

I know this first hand: at least 50-60% of my immediate colleagues are from China or India and they all possess master's degrees in their fields (computer science, mathematics, engineering, etc.).  At least in my university in NY, most or all the master's students were actually from foreign countries.

I agree that education is not an emphasis in the U.S. and I know for a fact that in Asian countries, education IS an emphasis.  It's not fair to crucify immigrant workers when they possess the talent and the skills for that job.

Source: myself.  born, raised, schooled in NYC; went to Catholic school until college, then public university.

(I was learning 3 digit addition in 5th grade... Lol)



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183,964 The simple fact is those jobs go to the people who are the most qualified. Any person at any job tries to get their friends on, that's how many people get jobs. It's not the fault of the immigrants that natural born American citizens didn't go and get their masters in the field they are working in.
You know what the problem is that people have with immigrants ? The real reason they hate them? It's because they need a scapegoat to blame why their country is going down hill or why they don't have a job.
It's not because of immigrants... and if you think it is you're just a sad victim of American education.

Oh and as an after thought, I work for a huge medical group, do you know how many doctors are immigrants? Many of them still working for their citizenship? Out of my group of 58 doctors, more than half are immigrants. Out of those half, there are about 15 still working on their citzenship. Out of those 15, 8 are from Muslim countries. Out of those 8, 2 of them are the only doctors in their field in the entire state.



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183,963 Actually yes, my father has worked with many foreign airlines (quantas,Air France,Garuda Indonesia , Singapore airlines etc...) and you won't believe how many foreigners these airlines hire and I'm talking about white Europeans , a lot of my fathers coworkers were Brits, French, Aussies and even some Americans . I know two American pilots who couldn't get a job here on the states so they went to China and got hire as pilots over there . Now my father has never worked for an American airline not because he hasn't have any offers but simply because he doesn't care for them , he would rather take a job on some Asian  country or back home where he is working right now .



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183,962 As a woman...as a real woman and not some bubble headed, basic little white girl...the thing I dig most, the sexiest thing of all, is a man who's honest with me; a man who not only HAS soul, but is unafraid and unashamed to bare it. Nothing hotter than that.



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183,961 There is a lot about Trump that I take egregious issue with. But, him going after the H1B fiasco is exactly on point.

I worked as an international student officer for a university, I helped them through the process of getting student visas and had special permissions to access a database via ICE.

Over and over again, I would see these students, and, F1 visas are based on the fact that the student returns home. They have to prove that they will return home before being awarded the F1.

Most attempted to stay. Almost all of them did that by doing this song and dance routine to get to H1B such as getting a masters, or even going back to a language school to stay on the student visa until they found a job willing to sponsor them.

Most of them were entitled, "I want a job, I am not getting a job because I am Indian or Chinese." I would respond, "You promised the US government that you would return to your country after your education, we don't OWE you anything." Or, if one Indian got in on a tech company he would immediately start working the system to pull his buddies in.

Tech companies like all these tech educated people. It means that they feel no tie to supporting STEM educations to domestic students, and why would they? They get these "special workers" rather than investing in education here, nor do they feel the need to pay taxes or support families in STEM where its needed most, primary school.

This whole mess is because America refuses to adequately invest in education. Its a horrible cycle but H1B is a big problem that only reinforces it.


Most people howl at illegal immigrants, listen, I don't care if someone is doing my nails, I don't want that job anyways. But what is happening is we are getting reamed. We are losing to international people on to fronts. Both on the offshoring of our jobs to India or China THEN those Indians or Chinese coming here, working the system and taking our 80K jobs right from us. They are directly competing for our jobs on our owl soil. The tech industry loves it. The internationals love it the domestic population loses. Big time.

Do you think China or India would allow us to go over there and take their best middle class jobs en masse? Please... they would be howling in the streets burning my white a** in effigy. We are not playing by the same rules, and the middle class is suffering.

I did not vote for Trump, but wow... I think his administration got this completely right.



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183,960 957....Yep, me too. Its not about feeling desireable for me.
I just enjoy flirting for the hell of it..



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183,959 I love how Americans like to say "my country," as if it always belonged to them. New flash: You're all X-generation colonizers! You have no rightful land. Under that logic, if China came along and took over the U.S., in 100 years the Chinese would be able to call this country "theirs." Does that mean they would then belong here? Nope, their motherland would still be China.

This country's arrogance never ceases to astound.



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183,958 I still think about you all the time. I don't know why, we haven't truly talked in years. The last time I saw you in person was almost nine years ago. I could message you on FB right now and start a conversation, but something inside is telling me not to.

Life has been moving by so fast lately. My weekdays are jam packed with work, my weekends are the only time I find a moment to decompress. I have no cravings to make friends or go out like a normal person. I'm pretty content with my life right now, as isolated as I might be, it's my idea of a good life.

If by some odd reason you happen to stumble across the post, I hope you are as happy and well as your pictures and posts make you out to be. I hope my assumptions of your boyfriend are wrong and he treats you with the respect you deserve. But more importantly, I hope life in Texas is everything that you wanted it to be…heh…

Anyway, this'll be the last time I post something like this, I don't feel the need to anymore. Take care old friend.



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183,957 Deep down, all I really wanted was a chance to be good to you. I know that sounds strange and you wouldn't believe it if I had said it, but you are someone I so desperately want to do good things for....even now. My heart was drawn to you because I wanted to lift you up and show you the appreciation and respect and affection that you deserve. You deserve those things more than anybody I have ever known. I wanted to show you a happier, more joyful life if I could.  I wanted to remind you how to have fun and just let go again. I wanted to make things better any way I could. But how do you tell somebody that without them either getting defensive or thinking that you're a wacko?  The answer is...you don't. You come to the Cave and tell it here instead. 😔I still feel embarrassed.  Maybe thinking like this does mean I'm crazy. I don't know.



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183,956 I wonder if I'm the only guy like this.  I'm always chatting up women and when we get to the point where we want to have sex, I just lose my interest in her.  It's like all I want to do is know I'm desired.



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183,955 I'm banned from the website where my children go to school. I saw some information on there which was incorrect. I posted the mistake on our local facebook forum. I was then banned from the school website.

As a result, I can no longer see my children's grades, or get information on any upcoming school events.

Somehow I don't think this is how public schools are supposed to behave. You can't ban me because I mentioned a mistake YOU made. Jesus, what immature people work at our schools.



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183,954 My senior year in college I lived off campus with 3 friends, next door 2 smoking hot, beautiful women lived and they wouldn't give us the time of day despite our best our efforts.  We nicked named them black and red bikini girl as that is what they wore when they would lie out to catch rays.
Night before graduation I'm sitting in the local bar drinking with friends, black bikini girl comes up and starts chatting me up, asking why we never talked to her and her roommate etc.  I explain we tried but always felt like we were getting completely shut down them so we gave up and  just ignored them.
She leaned in and said it was because we both had a crush on you so we didn't want to get into a fight over who got to sleep with you....I literally fell off my barstool. I said it was too bad she waited so long to tell me, she replied the night is still young.  I grabbed her by the hand, finished my beer and left the bar with her.
We had sex a few times, laughing and teasing each other why did we wait so long.  I get up to use the bathroom and find her roommate red bikini girl in bed going down on the woman I just had sex with.  turned out that they enjoyed licking cum out of each other....so of course I had to have sex with red bikini girl so her friend could return the clean up favor.  
Only bad/sad part was I had already booked my plane ticket to leave right after graduation to head off to my new job, I never saw or heard from either again.



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183,953 You can live on sunshine and positive vibes and ALSO smoke and retribution. HAVE IT ALL! 😘



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183,952 I'm living on sunshine and positive vibes myself. ☀️🌈



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183,951   Since I have been on the path of mindfulness, I have found a peace, a resolve that I have never known before. Previously, my life was controlled by addiction, by my insecurities, fear of abandonment and so on. I was constantly seeking the wrong things, the wrong people etc. It was a constant shit-storm of crazy, brought on by the unsettled thoughts in my mind. I craved chaos, what a mess.

In the last year, great things have happened and I have found my true self once again. I can now go back into the world and make that small bit of difference- I love to contribute to the betterment of humanity. I have a plan, so to speak. I embrace the uncertainty, I live in THIS moment- I no longer beat myself up over the past, my mistakes;I no longer fear the future as I once did, tomorrow will surely come, but I will no longer fear it.

I have gratitude in my heart, even to those who hurt me- they were the greatest teachers and I needed to go through the lessons to get to this place. Certain people may have nothing but disdain for me, but my heart loves them nonetheless. Thank you.

The four truths and the eight-fold path are my greatest tools now. I will continue to learn. 946, you are a BEAUTIFUL person. Keep on keeping on. Blessings!



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183,950 I'm living on smoke and retribution



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183,949 My so called neighbor is so pathetic,  he brags about being a hacker and it's a total creep. I cannot even google or mention a guy because he immediately thinks I have a thing for the person. Would go and find everything about the guy and then he will pretend to be him to get my attention, seriously how pathetic you have to be.  He is being my neighbor for years and I might say hi to him just being polite and civil but I have never talk to him , I don't even know his name and have no interest on getting to know him. I just wish he would move , his online stalking is getting old , like he doesn't get the picture that I'm not interested.



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183,948 I live in ny and its hard to find full time work.  So i look for part time also, and temp, and the worst - temp part time. These people like my resume but then ask "why are you looking for part time work?" And if i say well i really want full time but it isnt happening, that would be a problem. So wtf? I'll do what lots of people i know do, which is have 2 or 3 part time jobs. I get these employers are tired of investing their time in someone who will just leave for a full time job, but what do they expect?



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183,947 I miss my dead family.  I wish I could meet them again.



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183,946 I'm a very harry women myself , I always been like that.  My background is 50% Basque, 25% Asturias (it's a region on northern Spain) and 25% Native American (yaki) .  My paternal grandmother is a full blooded Indian and she didn't have any hair at all , not on her arms, legs even her underarms so I know I got my hairiness from my European side of my family. When I was kid I used to be embarrassed of my thick , almost unibrow so I started shaving and plucking my eyebrows since I was 13 .  I shaved daily and wax my armpits , and nose hair quite often . I tried laser 16 years ago and my hair came back within 3 years, it was a waste of money and very painful. I would recommend waxing, if you can get a friend, boyfriend/husband to help you do your back it will save alt of money and tend to last longer than shaving. If not call a few salons and ask them if they do full body waxing.



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183,945 My true nature is happy. That's just me. Upbeat, chirpy, positive, peace, love, and happiness...a true hippie at heart. I believe that everybody is mostly good. They really disappoint me sometimes with their pettiness and insensitivity, but I still like to believe that there is a good heart in there somewhere. I feel battered by the negativity around me, though, especially at my job...which is supposed to be all about helping people. So often the people that I work with are insensitive, cold, reactive, and just not particularly pleasant at all to the point where it makes me wonder why the hell they ever chose this line of work to begin with. I'm an empathic person. It's hard for me to not absorb the emotions and reactions of the people around me, and sometimes it makes my life miserable. I feel like everything is this constant, unnecessary battle and struggle. I don't get why people can't just communicate effectively and get along. I really don't. I know that probably sounds dense and naive of me, but it seems so straightforward and simple. Be nice to people. Don't be a nasty, rude, insensitive, self-absorbed asshole.  If people could just do that, we wouldn't have poverty, or heartache, or suicides. People would feel understood. Whatever happened to people helping people?  That's the world I want to live in, not this bullshit.  A smile and a kind word go a LONG way, and so many people seem to have forgotten that. Get out of yourselves and do something kind for somebody. Listen every once in a while instead of constantly talking over people. Your time and attention is all it takes to make a difference. Decency. That's the answer. Period.



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183,944 I've been retired for 3 and a half years and I haven't had a day off yet. I hate my family.



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183,943 939 At 25 you have an exciting future a head of you. And you have the key to free yourself from the trap that perceive that you are in.  Do an inventory of what you talents and goals are. My advice is to look at what you enjoy in life and pursue a career that excites you.

Choose a job that you love and you will never work another day in your life.

At 25 you have ample opportunities to change your life many times.

Don't make the mistake of doing something that you do not enjoy and staying with it.  Live your life with no regrets!



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183,942 I am seriosuly one of the nicest people you will ever come across.  I'm kind, compassionate, and help everyone.  I go out of my way to right a wrong.  I don't lie, cheat or steal. I don't speak badly about people or intentionally hurt them. Note, I wasn't always like this.  Quite the opposite.  I've become this person after years of getting fed up with others behaving badly.  I didn't want to be like them.

That being said, in the past 15 years, I have been terribly hurt, betrayed and lied about by people I loved and trusted.  Even worse, when I've gotten to tell *my* side of the story to people, they've then ended up turning against me, and siding with the ones who have hurt me.  Wait - *I'm* the one who was wronged, and yet I'm the bad guy?  That hurts worse than the initial betrayals.

47/F



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183,941 You know how the style for Women's clothing now is this whole "peekaboo concept?"  For example, dresses and tunics all showing more and more of a woman's back?  

I'm a white woman, half Italian and my lower back has this patch of dark hair right above my butt.  I'm fair skinned, blonde hair.  

Do women with dark hair have this?  I'm thinking if I'm blonde and I have this that all the dark haired women out there are sporting this too??  If so, how are all of them wearing these clothes?  Are you getting it waxed?  

I have always assumed I have this from my Italian side.  Maybe it's PCOS?  I know I don't have a happy trail, THANK GOD.. so maybe it's not PCOS.  

An ex of mine used to call it my garden and would put his hand down there and play with it.  I'm sort of embarrassed about it though really.

Well, that's been my curiosity.  Do other women have this too?  It's not particularly black hair, and it's not thick, but it's noticeable and it's there..  I have had it waxed once.  It didn't go too well, I ended up breaking out and it was so itchy.



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183,940 I need to find my empathy again for my family. I don't want too, but I need too which sucks.



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183,939 I am the guy who posted 891 below.    Someone asked: "the horrors of communism has not escaped you? Islam is a ideology like communism and when the President of the USA asked for 3 months -to make sure that people who want to come to this country from countries that hate the USA -he is the problem?"

My reponse.

This site is not seminar in geo-politics or comparative religious studies or  theology.  It is a forum to discuss our secrets and maybe, maybe, by doing so get a deeper insite into ourselves and others.  The questions saddens me tho.   The questions seeks not to initiate  an  inward journey to personal insight (by perhaps taking my secret to read and personally/privately rigourously  explore those questions) but under the guise of reasonable  inquirery asks questions contrary to the purpose of this forum.  

The forum is to encourage you, and me,  to embark on a personal journey to explore our secrets thru rigourous and honest personal  intellelctual pursuit, perhaps, to repeat the Secret, by reading serious demanding books, many from many sources.  It your duty to explore these topics, not mine  to answer your questions here.

In so doing you, and all of us who do so,  may embark, as one sage wrote, in the most exciting, demanding and even scary journey you wil ever take.    The journey into the deepest  darkest recess of your mind, where you and only you  know if you are being truthful with yourself.    I have been exploring those and other questions since I can remember.     And the more I do, the more I realize I don't know much.      You seem to be convinced you know way more.     Maybe you do.    

My secret?   I am glad I am still reading more.     My hope is that you do too..

It would be so easy to answer those questions.    It is pure discipline that stops me from so doing.    One final comment:   I don't think what I  wrote is what you think you read. Best to you.      

  



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183,938 I'm studying to get a Masters of education right now... but I really just want to forsake it all and do something else. It's just not appealing to me anymore... learning about classroom learning, it was fun at first, but I feel like I've lost my passion because I don't really get to study what I'm genuinely interested in... but at the same time I feel like I'm stuck.

I'm pretty sure I was the only grad in our program to take incompletes in 2 classes, still don't have my summer internship lined up, and have a 2.8 GPA (hopefully) for my first semester of grad school.

I dropped the ball at work too, failed to do programming that I was supposed to (literally what my position is based around) and I really don't like what my job is. I didn't have training, I'm not a fan of the environment... oh it just kills me... and the thought of working there for another year doing event planning. If only anyone knew how I actually felt... I know other grads didn't like their assistantships and switched out, and I know there's a lot I can learn about myself from the experience right now as well as growth that could take place... but I'm not sure if I'm really in a position to capitalize on those opportunities and to grow.

I'm either at my breaking point where everything is going to come crashing down and I quit grad school or I pick myself up and decide to be resilient.

M/25/Grad student



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183,937 I'm over it Sam. You're never gonna love me again and I'm never gonna get to love you again. Gotta accept it.



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183,936 914  Put a battery in and set it 2 hours early



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183,935 Every time someone mentions or starts talking about tattoos, I just listen and stay quiet.  Once you tell a person you have a tattoo, it usually follows by asking what and where you have them, mines are all hidden that you cannot see even if I'm wearing a 2 piece bathing suit.  It will be just be awkward telling a stranger, yeah I have two tattoos one in my butt cheek and the other one near my kitty , lol .

37/f



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183,934 I wrote this honest, heartfelt post for him earlier, but then I took it down because I realized that he would read it, immediately recognize that it was written by me for him, and would be so repulsed (for God knows what reason) that he would probably choke on his own vomit before he had a chance to switch to another site. Knowing this hurts my heart, but I'll live.



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183,933 I love you!!!!! I thought you were interested too but you never message but never ignore. I love you a lot and will never know :(



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183,932 Over the course of the past 35 years my cousin has let me down probably a million times, but I still love her. She uses me for money, a ride, a place to live on and off..and I always fall for whatever story she has. I know she's spending it on drugs but I can't seem to stop helping her out. I am a chump. Today I gave her $600 that I really didn't have to give.  She claimed she was about to be evicted. If she dies of an overdose it's going to be my fault. One hell of a psychologist I am. :(



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183,931 I finally understood what a work-wife was in my 30s.  I realized that I had had a work-wife in each of my jobs.  Sometimes one would leave and get replaced, but I always had one until last year.  That was the suckiest year at my job.

I have a new work-wife and I am much happier.



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183,930 we're going to do it. friday at 3pm, vegas time, we are getting married.
3/3 at 3pm - the 3rd significant relationship, with the one that has understood me the most.
we aren't telling the kids though - but we will come home and have a ceremony later in the year.
it's a big step for me but there's no better time for me.  i'm ready.



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183,929 My wife leaves the lights on all over the house. We've gone through this so many times. I've gently reminded her, I've yelled at her. Makes no difference, she continues to leave the lights on. She is very stubborn. You don't know the half of it.

Except, there is one situation where she always turns the lights off. If I'm in a room doing something and she comes in to ask a question, on the way out, she'll turn off the light. She does this to be passive aggressive. She does it to be annoying. It shows she knows exactly what she is doing. Her goal is to cause as much trouble as possible.

This is how she chooses to live her life. I really need to be rid of her.



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183,928 I believe most people married for the right reasons, mostly out of love but as people get older things change and not just physically, people change you are not same person you were as when you were younger. You view the world and everything around you different so some couples just become so different from each other and eventually they fall out of love.



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183,927 You are living proof that women have abysmally low standards.



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183,926 When someone treats you like shit it means that they are shit, not you. Have to remind myself of this from time to time.



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183,925 I'm not fulfilled in my marriage. My husband hasn't even attempted sex on about 2 months. This is what happens when I don't initiate. It just doesn't happen. I'm attractive. I'm affectionate. I've come to the conclusion he just doesn't want to be loved. I cannot fix him. We aren't compatible. These have been my thoughts for so long! But I fully realized, like a lightbulb by an incident that occurred 3 years ago. It was the moment I understood my needs weren't being met.
I had been at my sisters house and I had bought some dresses at a second hand store. I came back and tried them on and asked my sister her opinion on each (as sisters do!) and the last dress was so comfortable that I kept it on. It was summer time and it was breezy and the fabric was kind of silky. I walked out to the front porch and her neighbor was having a smoke with them and he looked up, and his jaw dropped. It was a bit awkward but he didn't try to hide it. He just said "Wow. You look fantastic."
Something clicked in my head at that moment and it was in the look he gave me. I hadn't seen that look, in years. I hadn't seen that look from my husband. It made me sad. So later, when my husband met me at my sisters after work, I asked him as I spun in a circle how he liked my new dress...& his expression didn't even change. He shrugged and said "it's nice I guess. Not really my style though."
This is the reason I've felt depressed. My husband rejects me on a daily basis and we don't connect intimately. It was so obvious and I've been beating myself up for years. What's wrong with me? Why am I so angry? Why do we fight?
Sex. Affection. Attention. Love. All intertwined.
Men, don't ignore your wives. It creates a divide that breeds resentment. It can't go anywhere pleasant. I feel lost and alone and sad.



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183,924 Dangit, I got bit by the love bug again!



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183,923 I was hanging out with my roommates the other day, and for some reason we had this exchange:

Me: ....you know, like when you're standing on top of a large building and you get the urge to jump.

Roomie: *squints* You mean you think about jumping when you're on top of a tall building, or you get the urge to?

Me: *pauses* ...I get the urge to. It's that whole phenomenon, right? The higher up you are, the more you want to jump?

Roomie: That's called being suicidal...

Me, fucking shocked m8: You mean...that's not normal?

*stares worriedly into camera*


I wonder, why does it not bother me to talk about depression and the way it makes me think and feel, and it bothers others? My best guess is that I'm so far rooted in my reality, I forget what healthy thinking even is. It doesn't bother me though, because having MDD (I think, it's either that or an anxiety disorder--I've been studying this for years in order to understand myself and others) isn't my fault. I'm not really a healthy thinker, or mentally stable. I have mood swings to the point where it's a known (and, for the most part, accepted) part of my personality. I think that's it actually. It doesn't bother me because, it's just a part of me like any other.

I wonder, does this mean that if I ever do feel "normal" that I won't feel like myself anymore?



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183,922 You are all so stupid for getting married! Both Men and Women. You do it why? Because everyone else does? You want kids? You think the Love you feel will last year after year?



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183,921 I have to break up with my boyfriend.

He's a really nice guy and I love him, but it's not working out in the bedroom. He also wants to move in together, but I can't do that right now for a number of reasons.

I want to love and support him still, but as a friend. I myself have just come out of a long marriage and have come out as gay just recently. It's just that, I feel a real sense of freedom for once in my life, when I am flirting or hooking up. We do have an agreement as long as we're safe.

But I don't think, this is fair to him or to me. He expects my oats to be sown and done soon, but I'm not they'll ever be done or at least as I am sexually incompatible with him.

I find myself dreading to see him because this has been on my mind, especially since I've been talking it out with my therapist. His mother is also very old and does not have much time left probably. His birthday is also in a week or two. I know I'm not responsible for his emotional or personal development. But I will feel like I am abandoning him, no matter when I break up with him...

Why did I have to fall in love?



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183,920 I had a dream I fucked your mouth. I knew it was a dream because I was fucking your mouth. When I woke up, I desperately tried to go back to sleep, because that dream was way better than the last five years with you.

I think it's time to move on, not just because of the mouth fucking, but because you're not the same person I fell in love with.

You'll understand, I know you will. Later toots.



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183,919 I really miss being around you so much



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183,918 Anybody who thinks award shows- the Oscars, the Emmys, etc.- are about quality is totally out of touch. It's about money, honey. Studios spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, sometimes millions, to get on the list of nominees. Even getting nominated significantly boosts profits. Winning? You're talking about earning millions more for the same crappy movie you already made. The studios put together "for your consideration" campaigns for the award show panels. The people who voted for the Oscars never even paid to see the movies and probably got plenty of free shit just for considering casting their vote. It's not the People's Choice Awards. It's the Oscars. And you've been duped into thinking that they matter.



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183,917 183891 and 183912 Thanks for this. I loved reading it as well but you lost me when you got to the last sentence.
You are very well read and traveled but the horrors of communism has not escaped you? Islam is a ideology like communism and when the President of the USA asked for 3 months -to make sure that people who want to come to this country from countries that hate the USA -he is the problem? Legal immigration is something every country has on their books.I am an legal immigrant to the USA and it has given me a great life.Why must the USA  take every refugee from countries that hate us while the Arab countries do not lift a finger to help their own?
How do these destitute refugees get to Europe.They travel by train and boat- who pays for this? It is more than two thousand miles. When you see them- most have cellphones and more young men than women and children.When you lost everything how can you afford all this? Is Saudi Arabia paying these fares so it become Europe's problem and so that they don't need to bother with Muslims who are a different sect than they are? Don't criticize the American President when he  is trying to protect America.How soon we forget the 3.000 people that lost their lives on 9/11 .The President  does not make the laws- He is enforcing the laws on the books. He asked for three month delay in issuing visas to seven countries in the world.....



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183,916 My work wife is the only thing that makes me smile sometimes. She's caring and attentive, but playfully mean and a bit of a brat sometimes. She's the kind of woman that cares about others more than herself, often to her own detriment. She's sassy, cute, and stubborn as all hell.

Whenever I'm irritated, she can sense whether it's because of an event or because of my mood swings, and can handle either situation if it comes to it. She buys me food sometimes, and often I make lattes for her in the afternoons. She listens to me, even if I've told her something before, because she knows that talking about my problems helps me sort them out.

I try to help her have confidence, and overcome her anxiety in some situations. Of course, we talk about boys. We've both had a string of nobody's in our lives since we met. My secret, I guess, is that I feel like I want to be with her. We're already friends so that part is easy, and when it comes to sex we'd have to just learn from each other. Neither of us has much experience being with another woman, but she's not big into sex as much as support, which is better than fine by me. I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel that way about me. Even if she did, she'd be the type not to say anything. I guess I have to see if something just happens.



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183,915 #NotMyOscars



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183,914 My brother finally had the guts to visit our mother's grave, alone. It's been 16 years since she passed, and he's never been able to muster up the strength to go. Of course, it broke him. But that's the major first step to getting over it. I'm proud of him



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183,913 I married the laziest most self centered woman of all time. She won't do anything she doesn't want to do. Life is all about her. Anything else which comes up, you know, like chores, that is for the little people to worry about.

The battery died in our kitchen clock. It's a simple fix. You take the clock off the wall. Pop in a new AA. Done.

I decided not to change the battery to see what happens. It's been months. The clock is stuck at about 6ᛚ. She won't lift a finger to replace the dead battery. It's so funny to watch this unfold. Even after all these months of the clock hands not moving, she comes in the kitchen, looks at the time and says, "It's 6ᛚ already? I'm going to be late for dinner. I better go." And then she dashes out the door to meet up with her friends. She's done this several times. Hello? Anyone home in that head of yours?

The most selfish woman ever. The laziest woman ever. Maybe the dumbest woman ever.



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183,912 If it wasn't clear before with all their anti-Trump rants, after the La La Land mishap, now it is indisputable, Hollywood is filled with morons.



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183,911 I dreamed about you last night. It was good to see you. I woke up feeling warm and peaceful. I wonder if I showed up in your dreams too.



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183,910 I've been reading the posts on this site for probably 10 years... and today I just read the very best...

183891

You made my day...



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183,909 Secrets for today:
1. I have bedbugs through no fault of my own (I've been at this apartment complex for 25 days and they popped up day 16) and I feel extremely embarrassed because I can't have people over (I'm extroverted. This is a big deal). I'm going to try to terminate my lease for this reason, but another reason too:  on my way to a party last night, I heard a couple on the first floor screaming. At first, I only heard the woman and thought it was sex but then I heard the man yelling and stuff being thrown and I realized it might have been a domestic dispute. I don't know which unit though....
2. I'm 26 and spend 70% of my waking hours fantasizing about my friend who's like 45. He's such a tender and smart person though! I find it hard to ignore that about him.



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183,908 I can't say this because some people might think that it's racist, but here goes:

Moonlight absolutely sucked. It was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen in my life. I don't know how it won Best Picture. La La Land was OK, but even so it was much better than that dribble. It had a bad story, contrived acting, and terrible cinematography. Save the two hours and watch anything else.



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183,907 I would like very much to not exist. Nothingness sounds equivalent to bliss.



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183,906 Does every family have a dick uncle? So glad my man is an awesome uncle to his niece and nephew, and would never choose petty obstinance over loving his family.



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183,905 You have a home here anytime you want it , for as long as you want it.
I am not talking about walls and a roof, but an actual home.



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183,904 I'm so tired of needing to be in the relationship. I'm craving male's connection. I know that I'm clingy by nature but I learned to control it. After the last break up in December, I decided to take a break from relationship to pursue some other personal goals and due to a very busy schedule. Not for a long time, until June-July. But, man, this is hard. I'm checking dating websites, personals, etc. I'm tired of my own desire. Is this some kind of depression? Does anyone else have it? Do you know how to deal with it?

F/42



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183,903 I had a dream the other night that I was shot and killed.  I fell on the floor bleeding until my heart stopped beating.  I weakly keep trying to hit my chest to get my heart working again, and kept willing my heart beat to return, but it wouldn't. I desperately wanted to continue living and do the things I always wanted to do, but I felt my body failing.  My vision started to go dark.

I woke up, and my heart wasn't beating for a few seconds, until it finally started up again.  I was also confused about when I was supposed to get up for work.  Normally I have no problem remembering what I need to do, but I was completely confused about everything.  After a few minutes, I was able to piece together when my alarm was supposed to go off, and what to do at my job.

I worried about my health for most of the day before I realized I would be fine, and I'm not dying.  But, did I die in my sleep that night, or was it just a dream?



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183,902 I didnt know vedio games could be as bad as pills or drinking.

Its ruined my marriage. I won't marry again. Ever but now I am on the track to leaving him.

I got a job, I got a decent car.

Now just a second job, a small place to rent

Then my kids won't have to be a distraction to his games.
Me and my kids can enjoy life, and spend time together and maybe I can find a good time.

I'm so close to making it out of this hell.

At least addicts to other things have help and rehab



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183,901 WTF commercial did i just see?  was that kid trying to open a portal to another world or something?



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183,900 Using my fingernails, I have ripped ugly looking moles out of skin. Who needs to pay a Dermatologist $300? Bah.



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