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184,099 I have been a hooker for 14 years. Not a street level one but a "call girl." Ya know...keeping it classy and all. I've enjoyed it mostly and it has gotten me places I couldn't have gone without the money and sometimes the people I've met along the way...
...BUT. There is one drawback that is totally unavoidable as a provider.  I know more than I ever can forget. I know the secret, the missing piece of the men vs women concept.  I know what makes men so entirely different and that one missing piece that makes them hard to figure out by anyone. And knowing it makes it impossible for me to be happy because I know that happiness is gone without innocence to some degree on this one fact...ready for this everyone?

Every single man/boy/asshole/hero/male--- in current or former existence...is a self important and almighty narcissist.  Some are worse than others, and those are the ones that define that personality type. The rest are considered normal and everyone just accepts the "miscommunication/insensitive behavior" as being a man thing. When women behave the same it is and always was called manipulative, difficult, and overdramatic. EVERYONE is a prick on occasion, but men were born this way and their only hope of not being forced to admit that...they give zero fucks about women. Their individual ego (and collective powers when it applies), their wide tendencies to act like they are being attacked and you are a
Mentally unbalanced Twat if they don't want to talk about something the be deemed drama or uncomfortable to them at that moment...well there's your problem.  The world is majority held by men. Men have nothing but plain unchecked EGO and the "women are crazy" mantra is pure manipulation and is the main weapon used against us. We have emotions and men do not. They play our emotions against each one of us and they maintain their ego and keep us constantly a little malcontent so that they can further our need to have a hero. And guess who does THAT role too? Men don't do nice things because they aren't emotionless and are nice caring people. Their humanity reaches exactly as far as the eyes they are aware of watching them. If they feel unmatched, the right thing to do is to do whatever they want and its sometimes just the most selfish, dishonest, creepy, or tyrannical thing imaginable. When caught, or confronted, the ego gets angry and it is turned around on the person who wants a fucking explanation. It's fucked up and it's too deeply interwoven on their existense to ever change.
     Dont believe it? Then you should be actively observing the males you are nearest to. Every loVing act or word is expected to bring about his Ejaculation, good reputation and all around good guy image book. Obligations and sense of duty are only for self preservation and self importance. Men fuck. They fuck anything they feel they can get away with and then they fuck you because you're "his." Men.. ALL MEN, think hookers are beneath em. The malignant sociopathic types are always looking for a way to trick a hooker and convince her she is stupid so its he r fault that she was essentially raped by a predator for his own thrill. Men and hookers. It proves me right. Men are dangerous, men are socially and mentally fragIke and to try to check their superiority is not safe. They will hurt you for it if no one is watching...and blame it on passion or "men's expectations " if they are allowed to continue on freely. Remember that shit ladies. Men are not protective of people they should love.  Push comes to shove they're predators and enjoy when you believe lies. Yes they are very pleasant and exciting to be around when they're doing good. But don't lie to yourself. Your gut feeling is right. He is lying to you and would rush upon you with his sword it wouldn't get him in prison and falling from Grace. Hell he still might do it. So just be aware of that.



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184,098 I refuse to visit my in-laws because my husband's grotesquely obese father won't keep his hands off me.  

There's nothing this guy likes more than getting wasted on beer and thousands of calories worth of the most unhealthy food possible, insulting everyone, calling me a stupid anorexic liberal (I'm a size 10.)  Then every chance he gets, he's sneaking up from behind to grab me and run away, or copping "stealthy" little feels whenever he can.  The last time we were there, he put his hand up under my skirt and grabbed my thigh.  After that, i told my husband that I refused to ever see his father again, because he's an abusive drunken creep with wandering hands.  My husband said okay, and he's accepted my conditions, but he's never expressed any indignation or even said that what his father did was wrong in any way.

It's really making me see my husband in an unflattering light, as passive and wishy washy.  And the fact that he continues to visit that old lech regularly doesn't help anything either.  The memory of that fat old swine touching me makes me sick -- it's the biggest turnoff ever.  It's really made me feel less attracted to that horrible man's wishy washy son.

And unfortunately there's this gorgeous younger man at work who KEEPS eyeing me.  He's never touched me -- he's polite, even hyper-respectful in a manner that would please the most strident feminist.  But it's almost courtly, like he's trying to show me what a gentleman he is, all the time.  He's like he's trying to reassure me that he 100% respects me and would NEVER be one of these guys who harasses women at work, no sirree, not him, he's all about the chivalry.

It's starting to make me wonder if the laddie doth protest too much.  See, I TOTALLY respect you, and all women, and I do NOT go home and jerk off to the memory of my married co-worker, no way not me.

He's so utterly respectful and politically correct and in earnest -- and totally gorgeous -- that now I'm starting to wonder what he's like in bed.



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184,097 I wouldn't mind trying an enema. You know, really clean out my innards. I'll bet it is most satisfying. Anyone ever try it?



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184,096 You might move back. My heart races at the thought; will this be incredible or awful?



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184,095 I wish my husband will stop listening to Rush Limburger or whatever his name is. People like him are the reason there's a lot of angry people, I swear every time the guy mentions Obama or a Clinton it's always trash or exaggerations to piss off his listeners then I'm the one who has to put out with his crappy mood .  Than goodness we lived on separate houses otherwise I would just pack and leave.  In my house I don't even have cable anymore , when I browsed online I tried not to read all the negative and crappy stuff on the news. It just sucks the energy of me.



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184,094 If you really care about someone, you should never give up on them completely. People can always change. Circumstances can always change. Leave room for life to surprise you. Leave room to surprise yourself too.

--F/35



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184,093 I'm such a idiot sometimes, for whatever reason I keep forgetting my microwave quit working this week and I keep trying to heat food on it.  Time to go out and buy me a new one.



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184,092 Bye Felicia...



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184,091 For the first time ever I was able to transcend through meditation. It was incredible. Never experienced anything like that before. Now I get it. Perfect peace.



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184,090 For a long time it was impossible to discriminate against me. I am white, anglo, protestant, rich, fit, able, employed, hetero.

But in an odd twist, now it seems to be fair for everyone to discriminate against me.



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184,089 Your wife needs to have the shit beaten out of her. How would she like it someone hit her? Strangers on a train, I'd be glad to punch her in the fucking throat for you.



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184,088 It's time to walk away from someone else. Actions speak louder than words.



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184,087 I can't believe you let that baby faced pillsbury doughboy crawl on top of you every night. He looks like punxsutawney phil in a five dollar suit. I can practically hear the baby voices and pet names blubbering from his tiny mouth from here. But, you two were made for each other. You both love being in the spotlight, you both love acting like something you most definitely are not, and you both love acting like everything is always perfect. It's so fake and calculated I'm surprised you don't carry around a script with you.

I already cut out a junkie from my life because I was tired of him constantly spewing out bullshit knowing he's done nothing but shove needles in his arm. I think it's time to cut out you, only you're not a junkie in the sense of drugs and needles, no. You're a junkie in the sense that everything has to be perfect, and nobody can ever see you otherwise. When it comes down to it, you're as fake as they come, and anyone with two brain cells can see that…

But, you already invited me to your dinner party, and it'd be rude of me not to come and see this whole act in person. Who knows, maybe we'll do what we did last year and sneak out to the guesthouse after some drinks and fuck each other's brains out. But to be honest, now that you're with the Michelin man, I don't think I want my dick anywhere near you. Just the thought of that ogre putting his pudgy little hands on you makes my dick retract into my body. But maybe your sister wants to see the guesthouse…I don't know we'll see. Either way, can't wait!



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184,086 She posted today that it's been 11 years since she accepted God into her life.  That's been unfortunate for me, because up until 2006 she'd send me nudes and tell me about the guys she fucked while I jerked off.  Darn it, God!



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184,085 My wife hits me. I would never hit anyone. But she hits me and there is nothing I can do about it except put up my hands to stop the blows, or run away from her. What terrible choices I have by taking the high road.



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184,084 My wife is unbelievably self centered. I don't know if it's by design on her part, or it has occurred to me that maybe she had brain damage and can't help herself - that's how self centered she is.

We make a plan earlier in the week that on Saturday morning we will get up and clean the house. She never cleans anything. Not anything. I do all the cleaning. (And I work. And I cook.) We've had endless arguments about it. But alright, we had a calm discussion earlier in the week. We agreed that on Saturday morning we will BOTH clean the house. She tried to make excuses. She said she's not good at cleaning so I should do it. She said she doesn't know how to vacuum. (What a lame excuses.) I tell her it is okay, I will show her how to do it. In any event, we both agree, we will clean on Saturday morning.

Saturday comes around. I get up at 7ᛆ. I'm ready to clean.

My wife, she is gone. She took off. She doesn't return until 7 in the evening.

Oh, she had to go workout, then go shopping, and then meet up with friends.

But, I tell her with disappointment, we had a plan to clean.

She explains once again she's no good at cleaning and she thinks I do a much better job at it so I should be doing it.  I remind her were went over this before. The excuse didn't work then and it won't work now. She gave her word she would clean with me this morning. She broke her promise. She says she doesn't remember agreeing to clean. She says this with some patronizing voice like she's explaining something to a 10 year old.

Self centered yes. But because her personality sucks? Or because there is brain damage? I'm kind of hoping it is brain damage. It would be great if she had a brain tumor eating away at her cortex, which one day soon will turn her into a vegetable to wallow around in a psych ward, sitting in her own shit and be spoon fed mush by orderlies who rape her. I'd like to think that instead of believing I married such a self centered person. But whatever. Either way I will soon be out of here.

-- Guy who spent all of his Saturday morning cleaning.



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184,083 I hate windows computers. I push the off button and go to bed. Next day I see the computer is still on. There is a dialog box on the screen. It wants to know if some internal application known only to the operating system should be shut down too.

Ah, no. Why would I want that closed. Just because I pushed the off button doesn't mean I want things shut off. Of course I want some background program that's not in my control, of course I want it to still be running the next day. That is what I obviously mean by pushing off...

Morons.  Off means off. Shut the fucking machine off. How hard is that? When the user presses off, turn everything off. Don't leave the machine on asking if I wast this one stupid routine to keep running. OFF MEANS OFF. Dopes.



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184,082 My Mother not only likes the most STUPID songs, she's got to sing along & dance to them.  It's a disgusting sight.



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184,081 I hope we do find our way back...



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184,080 Growing up in a household where you have parents who are either mentally ill and/or neglectful or abusive will cause you to do bizarre things in relationships. It can cause you to be so afraid and paranoid about rejection or abandonment that your response to those perceived events becomes near psychotic at times.

It can cause you to become extremely emotional and overreactive. It can cause you to check the other person's Facebook page 8,000 times a day, drive by their house, and engage in very embarrassing and humiliating behavior that you would never normally engage in. It's the most degrading legacy in the world.

You tend to either be hyper fearful and shy away from real intimacy or you become this perpetual giver and obsequious adorer that everybody takes from and you can't seem to stop yourself. It is a terrible, terrible thing to have to carry through life. You are always afraid of being hurt more than you already have been or having that person just walk the fuck out of your life at the drop of a hat with no notice or parting glance. You'll do anything to keep it from happening, yet following your instincts has the opposite effect and pushes them away instead.

People who had a normal home life don't get why you're so emotionally weird, and sometimes other people from a similar background don't get it either when they're on the receiving end of it. The best way to describe rejection or emotional neglect for that kind of person is like being a 3rd degree burn victim and having the nurse come in and take steel wool to your wounds. It is a brutal and deeply ingrained pain that is tough to shake and hard to heal.  

The best salve is a loving and patient partner...somebody who is not afraid to say "I love you, but you are being crazy right now. Why do you think that I'm trying to hurt you?" Replace illogical thought processes with logic. Be transparent in your actions and intentions. Ask questions, make them answer with logic. It takes dismantling false beliefs and reprogramming. Talking them through the difficult moments does help, blowing up on them or freezing them out doesn't.  They have to heal somehow.  

You wouldn't kick an infant with cuts and bruises all over them who was lying on the sidewalk abandoned, and in a sense these people are the adult version of that. They were once that child or adolescent who was the victim of their mom's drunken tirades or their dad's bipolar rages. You can't excuse their behavior when it is erratic, but please try to understand and love them through it.  

This isn't always possible, I know. Some people are too far gone and too damaged, but for many a little bit of acceptance, stability, calm, yet firm responding, and understanding can go a very long way in getting them back to a good place and helping them heal.



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184,079 I know not everyone is for me...and I'm pretty sure I know which ones they are, but whatever.



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184,078 My grandfather left me, my two siblings, and two cousins 100 one-ounce silver coins each, ranging from 1880 to 1919. When I decided after college that I wanted to move back to my home state from the shit hole my parents moved our family to when I was in high school, my dad gave me the coins to do as I wished with. I sold them to my dad's millionaire brother who paid me full market price for them. It was enough to get me established until I could find my first grown-up job and start making some real money, and I was able to keep the coins in the family AND not get ripped off by a coin dealer.

Grandpa, I never got to meet you, but thank you for leaving the coins to me. Without those, I'd never have been able to move back and live the life that I am living now. Thank you, thank you, thank you with all of my heart. I hope I've made you proud.



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184,077 😪  
Why does it still hurt. Am i ever going to get better? Is this helpful. Is it not? Who can say. Just u and i.



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184,076 Sometimes, i can stop and embrace the pain life brings me. Not in a destructive way (kinda). Basically after all I've been through, i know that some of my most painful lessons were my most needed. I also know that the truth, the reality of how shitty things or people are hurts like a bitch. People you think would never hurt you, very much will. But instead of crumbling under that knowledge and witholding my feelimgs for people, I'm trying to be smart about who i trust instead.

So what I'm going through right now, I'll work through, because I'd rather be real with myself than wonder why i end up around the same kind of people.

My God though, it hurts.



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184,075 Not all are behind you 100%



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184,074 I always buy the most expensive item. If there is spaghetti sauce for $4 a jar, and another for $8, I'll buy the $8 one. It tastes better, and best of all, it annoys the crap out of my husband, and that tastes best of all.



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184,073 I was fired from my job because my boss did something against the company rules, and undoubtedly against the law, and I said something to his boss. I was fired and not my boss. It was the most unfair thing I've ever encountered. I gave up after that. I was no longer interested in making it big in the corporate world. They are criminals. I think I'll open a farm stand and grow vegetables and enjoy my life.



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184,072 I must never be fingerprinted.



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184,071 068:  I want to thank you.  Not only for your service and sacrifices, but for this confession.

My husband also acts like this, like a little kid.  He loves farting and making a joke about it.  (As someone raised in an affluent family, this really bothers me.)  He talks in baby talk, even before/during sex.  He still watches cartoons.  Even though he's also a hoot, this childishness sometimes  REALLY gets on my nerves.

He's also an Iraq war vet.  I can also see that moment when he feels threatened in any way and his eyes change.  He's never gotten physical with any of us - I know he won't hurt us - but I know for a fact that he will rip someone to shreds with his hands if THEY try to hurt us.

But now I understand why he acts like this.  So thank you again.  It's not always easy dealing with someone with PTSD, but understanding where they're coming from helps understand it better.

Next time he farts, I'll be sure to laugh along with him ;)



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184,070 I lease apartments for a living. Been doing it for about five years now. It's good money and I pay about $150/month in rent with my employee discount. For the most part, it's a good gig. I show people an apartment, they rent it, and I move along.

Lately, over the last year or so, I've been getting a lot of inappropriate questions. Do you rent to foreigners? Can you tell me what type of people live here? Do you have a policy against XYZ group of people (Mexicans, Indians, gay people, Muslims, etc.)?

If you ask me that stuff, I'll politely tell you that the federal fair housing laws prohibit me from discussing our community demographics; that we rent to anyone who qualifies. And, as soon as you leave, I roll my eyes, shred your guest card, and delete you from our system.

Fuck my sales goals. Yes, I have tenants who are Muslim, Latino, Asian, black, brown, gay, and non-Christian. Their money is the same color as yours. And, quite often, they make way more of it than I do. I don't want you as a neighbor and neither do they. You can totally apply and rent here, but I'm not going to waste my time following up with you.



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184,069 When I go into Starbucks early morning, the homeless are  using the bathroom and cleaning up- and doing much more- in there. ( Welcome to de Blasio's New York) Then they plug in their cell phones and  surf the net as well as enjoying a cup of coffee on the house, it seems.I never use a bathroom there as it is a health risk.



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184,068 184069, I'm home sick today and I feel miserable, but your story has me laughing so hard I'm crying. Thank you for brightening my day with that.



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184,067 I'm scarred for life. I went to Starbucks the other day. I sat there and drank a large coffee. I had to take a wiz. I went in the bathroom. Disgusting. There was foulness in the bowl. A large amount of it was stuck to the porcelain. Like not just smears. Like actual 3 dimensional cylinders of foulness. I tried to flush it away. It must have been there a while because it was stuck and wouldn't budge.

Desperate to pee, I went to plan B. I used the sink. I stood on my toes, pulled out my dick and let loose. In the middle of it, horror of horrors, even though I thought I had locked the door, a woman started to walk in. Turns out the door lock wasn't working. She saw me peeing in the sink. I was filled with shame.

Now what? If I leave the bathroom, she will see me again. She will also come in and see the poop stuck in the bowl and assume that was me too. Worst nightmare.

I had no choice. I tried to hold my head high as I exited the bathroom. She was waiting in the little hallway. I said, "Don't go in there. It wasn't me, but it's gross. Wait for the other bathroom."

Then I raced out of the place. I don't think I can ever go back for fear of being spotted.



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184,066 I'm almost 50 and a man.  Outside of work, I don't act very "adult."  I still do things like put my kids in the shopping cart and race them through the store.  I make fart jokes all the time.  I do silly things.  I have two little "unmanly" dogs that I baby talk to.  I know people wonder why I kind of act like a kid still.

It's because my post-traumatic stress disorder is so awful that I'm aware that if I "flip" on somebody, I can blank out and literally chew the face off a person.  I'm not exaggerating.  If a person attacks me or anybody I love, I can literally go completely unemotional, slice the person's head off while laughing, crack the guy's skull open, pull his brains out with my hands, and smear them over the other guy who pissed me off while he screams in terror.  I've also run this "what if" scenario through my head a few times: A person with a gun enters my house while my kids are asleep and my wife is away, I "flip," grab the guy and incapacitate him, cover his mouth so the kids don't wake up, duct tape him, throw him in the bathtub, and dismember him piece by piece while washing out the tub and putting his body parts into trash bags.  He threatened the lives of my children.  I have no problem with this.  Wife comes home, the trash bags are out back where she won't look, and I slowly move them into dumpsters through the week.

Do I sound like a psychopath?  No, I'm not.  I can never hurt an animal.  I have never laid a hand on my children.  I hug them when they cry.  I, in fact, try not to even step on bugs on the sidewalk.  I'm the first to apologize to someone when I hurt them.  I can't stand the thought of hurting someone or something.

But if me or someone I love is threatened, by anybody, what I am capable of doing when I "flip" is so horrendous that I try to distract myself by doing silly things all day long.

The PTSD turns me into a monster against people who try to harm my family.  My wife says that under stress, she can see in my eyes the very moment the fear and emotion turns off in my brain.

But if my children talk to me, the PTSD monster turns off.  

What a horrible secret I have.  I hate this thing inside of me.



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184,065 The Democrats are probably in favor of Mexico contaminating our beaches. Stop and think about that.



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184,064 So that's how Mexico wants to play it. They are deliberately dumping their raw sewage into the waters on the California border knowing full well it will contaminate the San Diego area beaches.

Well fuck that! Throw them out of this country at double the rate.

President Trump. Do not be intimidated by their childishness. We stand behind you 100%.



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184,063 Rice person quit worrying about the number on the scale, weight has nothing to do with fitness. I used to be a skinny fat, you know those kind of women who are obsessed with fad diets and cardio and honestly I was miserable. When I got pregnant I put on a lot of weight because I couldn't restrict my calorie intake and my doctor band me from extreme exercising due to a high risk pregnancy .  All those years of not taking care of body properly got caught with me .  Now older and " wiser" , I tried to balance , I focused on strength rather than killing myself with cardio and slowly but I'm getting there .  My goals is to look good and healthy naked , not just with clothes on. I don't even go the gym , I exercise in my living room doing squads, lunges, push ups , planks , lifting , my cardio consist of kickboxing, walking around the block or just running errands.  You don't  need fancy equipment or expensive trainer to get you there, just go to your local library and pick up some exercising videos and watch your body transform .



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184,062 I have a strong feeling that we will find our way back to each other.  I think it is destiny. I don't believe we could stop it if we tried. It simply...is.



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184,061 My hub has blackheads on his penis. Who wants to suck on a penis with blackheads? Uck. If he can find another woman to do it, I'm all for it.



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184,060 2004 was a good year for me.   There was a windfall at the end of the year so in early December I splurged a bit and bought 40 1oz gold coins.  Half of them Krugerrands and the other half from various other countries.  

It was fun for a couple months. They were on my desk and I played a bit with them, admired them etc.   I liked having that reserve in my hands and feeling the weight.  Then it got old and I put them all back in the box and the box in my left desk drawer.  Over time completely forgot about them.

Came across them 2 days ago. Fun all over again to admire them and feel that weight in my hands.  This time I will put them in the Safety Deposit box and will them to the grand kids.



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184,059 J, I miss you.

You set the bar for all other men in my life.  

We were only friends but we prayed together.  I was more connected to you and it was more intimate between us than men I've been with physically.

I will always wish you well and wish I handled myself differently.  I would reach out, but I feel the writing is on the wall and that you are happy with me being out of your life.  

I heard you stopped smoking!  That's amazing, I'm so happy for you.

I wish you only the best old pal.  You and your family are all rockstars to me.

-Little Acorn



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184,058 I just want to keep banging you.



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184,057 Do I mean anything to you? I will probably never know.



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184,056 Thank goodness for facebook's blocking option. I was sick of your childish behavior.

Alyson, you posted general inquiries and 'happy posts' in our class group because you know I'd see them there while wanting to pretend I don't exist. You may have decided to treat me like garbage, but thankfully I'm the one who got to toss your baggage. I hope your rebound is strong enough to carry those huge problems of yours. Good riddance.



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184,055 I think that we as human beings need to learn how to live and let live. Peace, love, and light to you all.

--F/35



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184,054 People talk about what Melania and Ivanka Trump are wearing, they're attractive women with great bodies.  And nice style.  The only people who are talking shit are women!  Women are such haters it's annoying.  I'm a woman and I can appreciate the beauty of another.  Why shouldn't they wear what they choose if they look great?  I just keep hearing women talk about oh look what Melania's wearing, but in that catty-petty type way.  Oh, it's not dowdy enough, it's too sexy for first lady?  The first lady is an ex model, deal with it!



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184,053 deleted



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184,052 I had a fantasy of having sex with other people outside, in the country somewhere.  Just people having sex, and everybody else is miles away living a normal life.



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184,051 I love booze.  I'm going in for #3 on a late, revelatory evening and I give not one single fuck.



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184,050 There is no dealing with a liar. My wife is a liar. She has no shame. She lies about things when it's convenient for her. And when I stumble upon the lie, she lies about ever having said the first lie. It's an impossible situation to have a valid conversation with her.

This week's lie. She bought a new ski outfit. I said no, you can't. She bought a new ski outfit a few weeks ago. One is enough per month. I said it's spoiled behavior to get yourself things whenever you want. I told her to return the newest ski outfit.

The next day she told me she did. She said she returned it and got the money refunded to her credit card.

Today I'm in the closet in the guest room. Guess was was on a hanger at the back of the closet? Her newest ski outfit.

I called her in to see it and pointed out how she lied to me when saying she returned it.

She then lied some more. She said she never claimed she returned it. A lie. It was only a few days ago when she said she returned it and got the money refunded to her credit card. She insists she never said such a thing.

She's a dumb liar too. Lie that you met Tom Cruise 20 years ago and there is no way I can refute it. But lie about something you told me directly, then who are you lying to? I was there. I know the truth. What an idiotic way to lie.

I hate this woman. I am a fair and honest and decent person. I deserve better. It is clear to me now. I deserve a better wife and I'm going to take steps to find one.



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184,049 Being attractive does help, when I was younger I got to meet some famous people including athletes, rock starts and occasionally the big Hollywood start and I even got to hang out with some of them .  Not to brag but I even had a one stand with A list , movie celebrity who is extremely well known.  Ugh to be young and beautiful again , sighs but at least still have some good memories.

F/ 37  , who moved from la land to boring suburbia.



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184,048 Always look on the bright side. At the end of a hard day, cry a little bit, fall out in the floor and have a meltdown if you need to, but get back up. I've got this. You have got this too. Everything is going to be alright. :) Remember, even when a flower gets stepped on it keeps on growing! Be a flower, not a weed.

--F/35



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184,047 Something I find hilarious is looking at the pictures of the people who were the "beautiful people" in high school, and seeing their kids are average looking, dorky, obviously non-popular kids.  Nothing against the kids, I just think it's funny how difficult it must be for these beautiful people to have average children.  Also, it's awesome to see when the ugly ducklings from high school have gorgeous children.



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184,046 I have this fantasy.  My fantasy is that I'm in some public area, and I look over and find a box hidden away.  I open the box, and it's wads of bills.  Drug money.  $150,000 in cash.  But what if I'm being watched?  I need to get away.  Then how do I spend it without raising a flag with the bank or the government?  And that's my challenge, paying off my debt a few hundred at a time.  Slowly laundering the money.  Break a hundred at a gas station every week.  Break another hundred at the supermarket.  Maybe get a $1000 money order once a month and cash it in at the bank as "rent money."  I could still use a credit card for a few hundred dollars in purchases a month just to keep the scent off me.  It would take a decade to get it all put away.  That's my mid-life fantasy.



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184,045 I love my best friend of 8 years, but sometimes i worry our friendship will end because she's jealous of my life and resents me for it. I haven't had a cushy life by a long shot, but the things i do have going for me are things she specifically wants, like a more generally attractive body and social ease with new people, among other things. Also the fact that after struggling for years living on peoples' couches, i finally got out an managed to live on my own, which i worked hard for and did alone. I get worried, because although i love her, i feel like i can't trust her sometimes, because i feel like she'd be happier if she could compare herself to me and feel like she's "winning." I don't even want a friendship that is a competition.



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184,044 Forfeited my identity because I had to be the mother for my children that my mother never was for me.
As much as I want to make art, travel, have a career and read books without the pages being ripped away, I am responsible for the health and happiness of other human beings and,...and I love them so much more than I will ever love myself.
No, I'll never see you again. I'll never hear your voice or the whispering of your foreign tongue in my ear, nor feel the weight of your hands against
the small of my back. We'll not walk that creek at night as we did in my other life. Your poems I cannot read now. I won't make any cameos in your films or photos. I won't drive down the highway with Mexican currency in our pockets, smoking and laughing and listening to Prince in your cassette player...rows of pine trees behind us and your hand in mine.
That girl is now a ghost.
But I was there. You were mine. I had you back then, tied around my little finger~and you probably don't even think about me now.
I'm just imagining I was important to you, as I lie in bed with a sick child, a sore throat, a mess of chores undone, and a husband who doesn't make love to me.
Remember me as I was my love.



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184,043 You can't be nice without eating rice. Rice person, continue eating rice until you can see your own ribs, spine, and your stomach becomes inverted. That way you'll know that you've achieved. I'm proud of you and how self-disciplined you are, you're clearly a person that's superior to the rest. I wish you could teach us how you do it.



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184,042 Rice diet person, please consider getting professional help. You can have self control with your food without eating only rice. Clearly you've shown that you have discipline, but I'm scared for you, because you sound like you're developing anorexia. I'm friends with a few people who have had it and have gotten through it, but it causes permanent bodily effects that will make eating difficult, should you choose to stop.

Mainly, the symptom I've seen is that they can't eat without breaking their food apart in some way, and if they don't eat properly or just so, they can't poop for days on end. You sound young, so you can bounce back!

Please at least consider it.



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184,041 At the end of a long day a hug would be nice.



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184,040 As a married man I also lived a life without sex.I have found a solution. I went to Craigslist and found a gay guy. When I call him he is is excited to hear from  me and he makes me feel hot and attractive.He does things to by body that makes my toes curls. My wife would not think of these things in her dreams!There are no strings attached but whenever I feel the need I contact him.



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184,039 I would try the rice diet if I weren't married.  But when you have kids and a wife, you have to eat what she makes.



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184,038 I'm late for work because I'm sitting naked giving myself a ball massage



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184,037 The cerebral part of me just wants somebody to have intense discussions with and fuck, but the emotional side of me craves love and spiritual connection. I used to think I could have it all, but I'm so jaded now that I fully accept the improbability of finding all of that in the same man. It's probably time to hang it up and adopt a lesbian lifestyle. Or get a bunch of chinchillas and move to California.

P.S.--I wrote 958 in a moment of weakness. What a joke, right? Good luck to you.



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184,036 Rice person congratulations on your weight loss however don't forget if you want a new body , you have to work out and I'm talking about toning your body. You should try some strength exercisers to tone your body the last thing you want is a flobby body, I seen a lot of women doing the mistake. Yes , they lost weigh but their body only looks good with clothes on. Too much dieting or cardio can make you look older,  trust me I seen thriathles, long distance runners , cyclets etc... that they faces look older and gaunt due to sun damage and low body fat.  Remember everything on moderation including dieting and exercise , it's better for you , too much and you might ended up looking worse.



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184,035 Unfortunately, sometimes the lessons come after we've lost everything- the greatest love, the career, the home etc. I remember hearing things that I obviously needed to hear, but they didn't register for a variety of reasons. She really did try to help, I know that , but there were other parts that were just as equally the other person's part. We all have our part, I just work on mine now. 958, I am not sure who you are, my heart wishes it to be HER, but that is only  a dream at this point in time and I just have to release that with loving intention.

I know that I will be forever changed and vastly improved as a result of this experience.



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184,034 There's this girl I went to high school with who despises me and takes no time to talk shit about me. But that's what happens when you leave high school and do nothing with your life, you talk about things that happened well over ten years ago, because when you have no future you're forced to live in the past. When you lack the ability to make new friends you just dwell on the old ones.

One day I'll go back to that town and be greeted by hate, but I know there are a few people who actually grew up and realized that the things we did in high school don't define who we are today, and those are the people I'd love to reconnect with.

So, please, continue taking selfies of yourself at the same bar with the same people in a desperate attempt to convince people that you don't hate your life even though you can practically see the noose forming around your neck, and I'll continue living my life and trying to distance myself from people like you who can't seem to grow up, and when I eventually do return to that town to connect with old friends and family, when I see you, I'm going to smile and wave, because even though you carry that hatred with you everywhere you go, I stop caring about such irrelevant things a very long time ago.

Grow up, and good luck.



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184,033 Rice diet person here again. Hope I'm not bothering everyone with these posts.

Nine weeks. I'm down 37 pounds. I'm below where I'm supposed to weigh according to the health charts. Interesting to be an underweight person.

An incident. I had to go out to a formal dinner. I was reluctant. I didn't want to break the diet. But I had no choice, I had to attend the dinner. I ordered chicken breast something or other. It was doused in some type of creamy sauce. It also came with french fries. What a shock it would be to my digestive system.

I was debating with myself if I should eat it at all. I could occupy myself talking to the other dinner guests and "forget" to eat my own dinner.

Karma intervened and made the decision for me. I reached for my glass of water. Terrible water glass. Crazy design. It was curved and tapered with the bottom being wider than the top. It slipped right out of my hand and crashed down on my dinner. The glass didn't break, but my entire meal was swimming in a pool of water. Soggy french fries. Couldn't eat any of it. A message from up above? :)

I'm still going. I'm addicted to not eating. The joy of not eating, of having self control, outweighs any craving for food. Although I'm a little concerned I'm like a mentally unstable person who doesn't see what they are doing, and how crazy their actions are to everyone else. Is that who I've become? Did the water glass really slip out of my hand? Or did I let it happen...



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184,032 I'd like to fuck my wife in the ass. She'd never go for it not in a million years.



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184,031 I applied for a job yesterday. Sent everything in online. Today I received an email from them. When I saw it was from them I was genuinely excited. They are fast! What a great company to be so responsive!

But it was a rejection. They rejected me within 24 hours. Yes, they are fast. Now I'm depressed. They so quickly knew I'm worthless. Couldn't they have at least waited a few days to reject me so it appeared they at least had to think about it? No, I guess is was a very easy decision to reject a loser like me.



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184,030 183996: good for you!  Don't help them anymore.  Wow, it does take huge balls to stiff someone and then ask them to continue working for them.  I'm sure when they agreed to the $4000 they knew hey didn't have the budget for it.



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184,029 183932: your 42 year old husband was talking to a 13 yo about sex and you are mourning his loss?  You are better off, I assure you.  He sounds like a creep at best.



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184,028 I work for a narcissistic, selfish, petty prick! My co-workers are just as bad. If not worse. The business is slowly becoming less and less. I put my notice in already. Can't wait to watch this place go down. It's slowly happening. Everything is broken, including the A/C (it's FL), the roof leaks (fun for those rainy summer months), the computers are from 1990. It's a medical office still on paper. What a fucking joke!
Peace out motherfuckers!



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184,027 You are so very welcome. Glad I could help. :)



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184,026 Thank you, 184019. I really needed that reminder. I'm tearing up because it's so true. I hate that I so easily forget this. I'm so grateful to have come across your reminder. I will make a list. Thank you.



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184,025 I think I'm dying inside...



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184,024 I wish I could go back to then and tell a younger me all the reasons why. She loved you, even if she was scared. What could we have been? It's too late to ever know; we point out every way we would have gone wrong. Would we have crashed and burned in a moment of passion like we joke? Or could it have been a beautiful, slow simmer?

Why are you so far away? I just want to hold you. I want to pretend all those years didn't happen,to pretend for just a little while you could be mine again.

-Amelia



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184,023 For the first time in a long time I look at your Facebook profile without any resentment for a lot of years I pretend it I was ok , and whatever harm was done was on the past but today I can truly say it.  The more I look back our fling , whatever thing we had was only based on  sex and lust , it wasn't even love.  I guess there was a reason I was addicted to you, you were like one of the few guys that enjoyed $&&@@ non stop.  I remember that first time we met , I was sitting with another guy and as soon as he went to the bathroom you came and took me away , our first night together we did it like 4 or 5 times on a row .  Too bad I was just too young and naive and you were focusing on your career . I'm glad and happy for you , it seems that  life is treating you good and your hard work has finally pay out, you have the hot wife, the big pent house on a big city, the expensive cars. Good for you . I wanted to know , that I don't have any hard feeling towards you .  

To my Italian lover , from a girl you used to known.



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184,022 I'm from NY.  Yea it's exciting but I'm not one to wanna date around.  Guys here, well there are so many hot girls to choose from a lot of them don't want to settle down.  Or they'll settle down and have the side piece.  I'm attractive too, but I'm not a play the field type.  And I'm not looking to settle down for the sake of settling down, I'm just a relationship girl,



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184,021 Idk where you live but that might be the problem, I'm from a big city and have live  mostly in cities my whole life, years ago I decided to find another place due to the high cost of living and while I like my new place and the people most people are nice it's boring , most guys get married and have kids before they hit 30 , so while this place is great to raised a family it's sucks on Entertainment and dating.  If you are child free you are better off moving to a more exciting place even if it cost more money (NY, LA,Chicago ,etc...)  you will have so much fun even if you don't find Mr. Right .



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184,020 It's funny I'm not an online dating girl either I'm old school myself, but idk I'm not into clubs, there aren't too many single guys in my circle of friends or their friends, and I'm not interested in the ones who are, I mean it's easy to meet guys but it's not. I don't know where to meet nice guys that i would be attracted to. So I've tried it on my own, not through friends, but it's not often I feel something.  And when I do it falls apart.



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184,019 deleted



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184,018 Today was a great day, especially after the night I had last night. I didn't feel that I deserved to have a good day, but it reminded me that there are some things I do very well.

I have a gift for understanding people who are difficult for most people to understand. I have the gift of encouragement and being open in my care and affection for other people. I'm a good leader because I try to bring out the best in everyone in the group and I love to help other people. It's what I was born to do. The folks that I work with love me and look up to me, and that amazes and confuses me sometimes.  

With that being said, it's so easy to let a bad day, a bad mood, or a bad decision beat you down and leave you feeling worthless, but in those moments you have to make the effort to remind yourself that you do have worth and that, at least to one other person (probably more) you are irreplaceable. Write a list of the things that you do right. Give yourself credit. Hold on to that list and whip it back out every time you start to beat yourself up over what you think you lack.

There will never be another you. Please take heart in that. Somewhere somebody loves you and would be heartbroken to see you upset or hurting.  Nothing is worth throwing away your life over.  Tomorrow can always be better.



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184,017 I don't want to die. But at the same time I really do. It's bad.



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184,016 I really wish I could kill myself.



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184,015 I've jacked off on my bathroom floor. At times I'm too tired to stand up in the shower and do it. Laying on the floor is a good alternative. The floor is tiled though so I lay down towels first or it's too cold. A few times my wife has come into the bathroom after me and I forgot to pick up the towels and she asks me why there are towels on the floor. Quick thinking me said they were a little wet so I was drying them --  can you check if they are dry yet? She'll feel them and say yes. Then I hang the towels back on the towel rod and she totally believes my lie.



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184,014 When I cook something for dinner, like say quiche, I'll make 6 of them. I'll use one and put the rest in the freezer.  Or when I make pesto for dinner, I'll make like a quart and then divvy it into small plastic containers and freeze them. The freezer is the best appliance in my house! It lets me make dinners in bulk like once a week. Then the rest of the week I pull something out of the freezer. A great time saver. I'm surprised none of my friends do it this way.



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184,013 Most guys who use Tinder are only looking for hook ups , aka casual dating.  Personally I have never use any online dating since I'm old school and I rather meet guys the old fashioned way but I known plenty of women who used them and none of them ended up on a serious relationship it was just for fun until they met a guy who took them seriously .  Best luck to you , just don't take it too seriously since most guys on there are only looking for fun.



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184,012 Just to tell you a little something about middle eastern scholars, I am a dental assistant and the Indian guy I worked for? Amazing. The guy from Saudi Arabia? Didn't use enough phentermine but used hella ketamine. Didn't give a shit if his patients were tortured. Just sayin



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184,011 Do people even talk on Tinder? I've matched and a couple of guys will be like hi beautiful, thats it, no conversation no plans to meet. Others don't even say anything. One guy messaged me back and forth and never tried to talk on the phone, seemed too busy anyway. Why are you on a dating site if you're too busy? You have no time for girls if you're always traveling and playing Magic. Another guy wanted to go to the movies that day and didn't try to talk on the phone first. Wtf. Don't people wanna hear each other's voices anymore? I never met you, I wanna at least hear your voice before we meet.



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184,010 so true. im currently getting my phd in physics at a top university in America. I'd say ~50-60% are not american born.

The truth? Asian & middle eastern scientists have a better attitude and a better work ethic than most americans.



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184,009 He's not a bad person. He did nothing wrong. I'm a bad person for getting hurt and upset when I have no right to.  :(  I am so ashamed. 183958 is still how I feel...whether he will ever feel the same way or not.



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184,008 I'm starting to sell off my stuff. 16 foot ladder, gone. Some wood flooring, gone. Extra dining room table, gone. Giant antique mirror, gone. My wife thinks I'm trying to get organized and clean up. No, I'm selling everything because I'm going to leave her.



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184,007 Boss makes a dollar,
I make a dime,
That's why I poop,
on company time.

Hooray!



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184,006 Okaaayyy...guys on Tinder or OkCupid or whatever...why put a pic with you and a girl/girls up?  Whether they're hot or not, you want to fuck them, have fucked them, or are fucking them.  If you're trying to show you're cool and in demand because you're hanging out with women, it's not working.  I don't wanna see a pic of a potential date with a hot girl draped on his arm or sitting on his lap.  It's freakin stupid



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184,005 Getting changed in front of others in school gym class always made me uncomfortable. The party line was that guys needed this. It made men out us. It got us prepared for the adult world.

All these years later, I look at that and think what? When as a male adult do I get changed in front of another guy? Never. So what a bunch of hooey that it prepares us for the adult world. I'm still suspicious that back then we were jerkoff material for our weirdo gym teacher.



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184,004 Even thought some people assumed I'm materialistic and only care about money that truth is even thought I like nice things(furniture,car,clothes,etc..) I don't pursue them.  Money always comes easy to me ,  I had a job make no 6 figures a year mind you I was young and never went to College, all the guys I dated went after me including my now husband who is worth like 35 millions , people always assume I'm this snob because I drive a fancy car , stays in 5 start hotels while on vacations, and goes to expensive restaurants but it's mostly my husband who likes that stuff , he is the one who picks those places not me , I would be happy just staying on a nice , clean place it doesn't have to be the 1,200 a night presidential suite at the Disney resort . A few years when I traded my Jag XJL , I wanted just to get a " regular car" my husband kept saying those car are ugly and I should get something better so I ended up with a Benz.  Deep down I'm a free spirit , who likes all kinds of people and wants to travel and see the world . I know there many women who would trade places with me but as soon as my kid turns 18 , I'm planning on leaving and I don't care if he takes me out of his will and transfer my trust fund he set up for me to our kid . I'm just want to be free and do whatever I want , I bored of living on the same city , I craved change, I don't like routines nor stability.  Life is meant to be an adventure.
37/ f , stuck on suburbs , somewhere on the Midwest .



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184,003 Hey, Yankees. Could you please keep your old people with you? We don't want their crotchety decrepit old asses either. They're rude, condescending, and they smell. Thanks, the South



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184,002 I plan to leave my husband but not until I spend every last dime he has. He's not a bad person, I am am. I'm bored with him. Fuck him. Life is for living.



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184,001 If I'm not careful I pee a little when I laugh.



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184,000 People may do evil things, but people are not inherently evil. We are made of spirit and light. We are made in God's image. When we lose sight of this is when we fall.  Always believe the best about people.  Never stop seeing the good--no matter what. Life is about love. That's the only thing that matters.



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