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185,399 My ex thinks I married a sugar-daddy, but it's turning out to be just the opposite I'm afraid. I spend so much of my time and energy to be frugal and as non-materialistic as I can, and then he goes and gives away our monthly retirement income, by the thousands, to his 4 kids. God, give me the strength to endure my husband's mental issues and dementia - Brain damage from alcohol abuse and having been struck by lightning - there is no light at the end of this deep, dark tunnel.



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185,398 To 391 -- I went on the 5Ɇ diet where you only fast two non-consecutive days men: 600 calories and you eat normally for the other 5.  Lost 20 pounds without any effort.  Theory is that on the diet days your body thinks you're starving and you burn fat.  It stops on the regular days.  Look it up.  Good luck.



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185,397 I'm S too :D



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185,396 I'm S...more hints please...



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185,395 Sex is a waste of time. To all you young people. Don't spend so much of your lives looking for it. Work hard, become successful, and the sex will find you.



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185,394 My boss walks away in the middle of a conversation. He's so rude. What an insult. As if my words don't matter so he leaves. What a dick. I need a new job.



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185,393 you want me to give up? coward dad or someone posing as dad? does she conveniently forget the truths i have put forth. her jealousy and fear of my calling.. her whatever made her throw out my paintings the beginning of realizing the world is against my success?



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185,392 I want to make you proud. I want to bring out the best in you. I don't want to carry on like I do because when I finally listen it is worth 1000x more.. I want to watch you make jokes and laugh and thrive like you do when you have confidence.. You are so beautiful.. You truly are an angel with or without me... I think we could thrive together.. We will put the work in.. You make me sane... I don't want to drive you insane... We can do this... Every gentle yet powerful thought from you changes me...and that precious smile means there is hope in the world............................



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185,391 I think I'm starting to become anorexic. For the past two weeks I haven't gone over 700 calories a day, usually around 550-625. It's addictive. The thing that kills me though is that I've lost 12 pounds, but I would have expected to lose more. It's very frustrating. I only had one bad day but it shouldn't have set me back this much. I know all about your body going into starvation mode, all that shit, but even still...at this point it should be past that. I was bulimic for a couple of years and stayed a pretty okay weight, but still wasn't where I wanted to be. I hope I didn't fuck my system up permanently. Probably did. I just want to lose weight. That's it. Shouldn't be this damn hard.



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185,390 I love you S. To me, you are perfect. I'd bathe in your sweat. Love me like I love you. Please.



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185,389 I enjoy watching Bob Ross's programs. I find them to be soothing. I have watched these shows for many years.
He was forced to perm his hair as a matter of necessity. He sanded his paint pallet to spare viewers from obnoxious glints (J.J. Abrams) He was a former member of the Airforce.
Any kind of painting is something you can teach yourself to do. Any technique that you perform over and over will eventually become second nature. That being said, it's nice when someone else breaks down that barrier and tells you that this is something that you can do. Painting with knives, for example. You can do this. There are so many things you can do without brushes.  
Just seeing him gently encourage viewers with the utmost level of kindness and creativity was enough to make me silence my own negativity and give it a try.
I use these techniques all the time every day.



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185,388 I think your biggest problem is that you are used to (and most comfortable with) fundamentally basic females. I am a different breed altogether, my love. Deep down I believe that you recognize this distinction and you don't know what to do with me. You don't know how to cope with me. Let me teach you...



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185,386 A great piece of wisdom I wish I knew when I was younger is that you always have to put the work in if you want to succeed.  You can either put the work in when you're younger, or when you're older, but you always have to put the work in.  It's better to put the work in while you're younger.



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185,385 Good looking out Shonda.  You know Mer deserves happiness and love in her life again now that McDreamy is gone.

Okay.  Way to save face.

You had me wondering there for a minute, I'm not gonna front.

But you go girl!  Let Dr. Grey find some lovin.  Her sister is just going to have to grow up and get over it.

Whew, if that plane had crashed I was going to have to fly out to LA and have a sit down with you.  

Good looking out.  Gooooooood lookin' out!



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185,384 Shonda Rimes, how many plan crashes must we endure?!  If you kill Meredith I will come after you Shonda!

C'mon now, you've done a good thing here, you cannot kill these people off like this.  This is not One Life to Live damn it.  This is not day time, crap television.

Don't do it Shonda.  Don't. Do. It.

Shonda, you sheister - tell me you are not going to kill these two doctors!!!!!



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185,382 Women, and I mean practically only women, have tormented, manipulated, lied to, and generally have just about  everything to me in an attempt to destroy me without any provocation, and the worst part is how they always get away with it. You guys are contemptible. You know you are, which is why you're always bitching about "MUHSOGGYKNEE". Hell, you can't even FATHOM why one man, let alone society as a whole, would say one negative thing about you. Whenever a woman dies in a news story, I honestly feel nothing and only wonder what kind of horrible cretin she was. I wish I was unattractive, I really do, because the shittiest part about it is that no matter how well-known I make my hatred for them, they think they can hit on me. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Fucking demons.



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185,381 I've given up alcohol, sugar, and sex and replaced those things with expensive candles, exotic teas, and herbal supplements. I feel like I could snap at any moment, but at least I have a life free from vice and unnecessary distractions. It wasn't just for Lent. It's indefinitely because men are liars and cannot be trusted.

Speaking of men, Jesus would be so proud...



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185,380 When you can't say something nice, say nothing at all.

Or say it on here: BEN, NOBODY FUCKING CARES WHAT YOU THINK OF EVERY LITTLE THING ON FACEBOOK. GET A LIFE



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185,379 So I eat healthy, I have eggs with peppers and onions in the morning.  I try to eat salad.  But if I eat fruits or too much olive oil, i have to go to the bathroom all day.  I guess it's all that fiber, which is good for you, but I can't be shitting all day.  That's not good.  So what do you do?



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185,378 haha, anorexic crackheads that i lightly bumped into in the drive thru lane, so glad i was a smartass to you two. I had the entire Drive Thru laughing! and when the one said "we can call the Fucking Cops!"  
DO IT!!
why do i feel like that was a BIG MOTHERFUCKING BLUFF!? i'd love to see the cops run your names, and search your car!



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185,377 so i bought a laptop with win 7, and periodically it has some kind of hard disk agent that totally seizes the hd, so the browser and everything else is basically unusable. So i tried a free win 10 upgrade, it installs all the way, then at the end, it tells me some program is not compatible, so it stops, and the font is so small that its unreadable, so you don't know what prog its unhappy with, yay microsoft......



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185,376 Considering a move to Denver? I'd reconsider if I were you. This place has destroyed my existence and I want to die more than anything. Its a trap. Dont.ruin your life by coming here.



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185,375 This is mainly for the guys, because when it comes to going to the doctor we are stupid as hell.

If you are feeling more tired than usual for more than a week, GO TO A DOCTOR!  If you have heartburn all of a sudden and it will not go away, if it is new and ongoing, if you are eating antacids like m&m's, then GO TO THE DOCTOR.

My step brother died yesterday after suffering a massive heart attack.  He was found at work about 20 minutes after he started.  He was found by someone who was a fireman and he knew CPR.  They had a defibrillator and the machine shocked his heart five times.  They had to shock him a couple more times in the ambulance.

He got to the ER and one artery was 99% blocked.  The other artery was shredded so they did not work to repair it because he was too weak to survive the surgery.  He was hooked up to machines for two days, in a medically induced coma, to see if there was any hope of him surviving.  I went to see him and I knew he was gone.  They scanned for brain function after getting him off the medication, and there was none.  They unplugged the machines and he was gone.

At home they found several empty bottles of antacids.  He had also told his brothers and sisters that he felt tired.  He was not the type to go to the doctor.

This could all have been avoided.  Please, if you are feeling tired and have heartburn that will not quit, go to the doctor.  

RIP Bobby.  One of the best guys I have ever known.



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185,374 I'm having a stressful night and had 361, your story had me In stitches. I needed a laugh. I haven't laughed all week. Thank you, crap! 😂



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185,372 I'm absolutely in love with him. After years of being with an insane narcissist, I'm finally getting a chance to be with someone who can treat me right. So many things are going well in my life right now. Only downside is it has to be a secret right now. Good things come to those who are patient.



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185,371 I know I'm coming off as pathetic, but if anyone here could do me a solid, it would be contacting Theresa McGillicuddy on Facebook and telling her that it would mean so much to me if she sent me a message. I'm too afraid of doing it myself, because I cheated on her in possibly the worst way possible, and proceeded to act like the victim just because she spoke to her ex about getting back with him. I'm just terrified of being rejected directly. I'm holding out hope that one of you reading this in passing will do so, and I know it's a strange request, but I never was what most would think is a "normal" person. She's a beautiful, slightly dark-skinned woman with her son in her profile picture.

Thank you, in advance.

- Chris Bartolini



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185,370 All Men aren't douchebags.  Here's my story.

At 12 years old I knew that my wife was out there somewhere.  It killed me that I didn't know who she was or how I could help her.  I went to bed every night knowing that she was out there.  

I found her and we're still in love with each other since 1985.



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185,369 Still too many surveillance cameras and opportunities to leave DNA behind, though. You would have to basically borrow or steal all of your supplies to avoid a trail of receipts or store surveillance footage, find some way to secure all traces of your fingerprints, hair follicles, blood and saliva, then hope that they would either give up or pin it on the person who purchased or possessed the items originally. If you did all of that and somehow managed to avoid surveillance then the GPS trick might work.



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185,368 You want to know how to commit the perfect crime these days, like let's say you want to murder someone or set their house on fire or get revenge or something completely evil like that?   It's easy.  Whatever you do, you just have to leave your cell phone at home.  I know this from a guy who has a top secret clearance in the intelligence community.  When the cops are looking for suspects for a crime, they don't need to investigate for leads anymore.  They just need to call the FBI and get a list of cell phones that were in the immediate area of the crime.  Boom, there's your suspects.  Your cell phone's GPS is always transmitting, even when the phone is off.  The government can find anybody.  This is how they catch kidnappers so quickly. The downside to this is that few of the cops are old enough to know how to investigate a crime the old fashioned way.  They're used to just clicking buttons.  Just leave your phone at home, and your alibi is backed up.



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185,367 When the anxiety gets to be too much and I can't sleep, I soothe myself by watching old Bob Ross videos. Twenty minutes into watching that man paint and I sleep like a baby. His videos have pulled me out of panic attacks and away from the edge. It's stupid, but it's better than developing a drinking problem.

Today is a Bob Ross day. I'm grateful for YouTube and Netflix. I can stream non-stop until I feel better.



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185,365 some women are perfect for the guys who think with their dicks.. the world makes sense again! (u have to remember lots of guys post as girls or there are girls that flaunt something for the sake of feeling sexy making us all look bad)



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185,364 Depends on the dick!

It depends on the vibrator too. I had a vibrator one time that had this separate attachment that went at a higher speed and if you held it on your clit it was unreal. You could barely walk afterwards...turn your phone off, pull all the shades down, get your neighbors to take in your mail for you, not go anywhere for a few days, might miss some work because that shit was so good.... Memories...

P.S.--I don't know what you're talking about. My pussy is an orgasm button.



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185,363 a good man will look for the connection not the first pussy he can grab. it's the connection the attraction and the arousal that causes anything to feel good for these good women and these good men.



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185,362 For women who use vibrators, do they feel better than real dick?



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185,361 This Asian woman at work cannot pronounce my name.  Instead of saying my name, she calls me "Crap."  It's hilarious.  If any of us are having a rough day at work, just hearing this woman say my name makes everyone crack a smile and bust a gut as soon as she walks away.

When she's not at work, everyone yells "Crap" to get my attention.

Makes me smile every time.

Thank God Trump can't send her back to China, as she married an American man.  

Even though she is really bad at her job, she's a very nice person and I never tire of hearing ... "Hey CRAP!"  

My name starts with a "C" but sounds nothing like "crap," it has two syllabulls and is a French name.  Anyway, best thing ever!



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185,360 I have a cheap $30 cell phone that costs $20 a month to use.  I don't use it much and hate paying for it.  It's not that much and I hate being stingy with my money like this.

I recently broke a chair, and wanted to buy a new one.  I looked around the internet for a cheap chair that was still good, and found one for $40.  I had to push myself to pay for it because I'm such a cheap ass.

I wish I had the courage to just do things without holding back.  I need to go to the doctor and still haven't got the checkup.  I sit in my room all day and worry about bad things happening to me.  I might be suffering from anxiety.  I should see a doctor for that.



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185,359 As a typical guy, I can add a disclaimer to every single positive comment a woman could say about sex with the phrase "just not with you".
Examples include:
I like sex "just not with you".
I like dick, "just not with you".
I am horny "just not with you".
I am looking for sex, "just not with you".
I want to have fun, "just not with you".
Sex is very satisfying, "just not with you".
I love sex on a regular basis, "just not with you".
I want a man to hold me, pound my pussy, all of it, "just not with you".
I crave penetration and the feeling of being full, "just not with you".
I am a very sexual and passionate woman, "just not with you".

Just a typical guy. Surrounded by women who say they want sex. Just not with me. You know what? I don't believe them. Sex can't be very good for women by the indifference they have about it.



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185,358 Somewhere, there is a group of trailers near a highway. There are flags in the yards. There is a pit for burning trash. There are goats (I love goats)

Drugs are everywhere. A lot of the people live on subsidized housing and healthcare. Many are on disability.

Then along comes a man or a woman (can't tell) who steps on a hoe and it swings up and smacks them between the eyes. Stunned, they rub their face for a minute and wonder who put that hoe there.

The sun rises, the sun sets. The flags flap in the breeze. You have to look carefully past the stupid flags, the druggies, the burning trash, the shiftless shade tree, the goats chewing on the weeds to see that underneath all of that are humans just like you and me living here.



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185,357 I had a cellphone for like 4 years, then got rid of it.  I didn't have one for the next 6 years, just got one last summer.  I was fine without one, it's also a plus not having to pay because you don't have one.  I remember getting that message, they want to send a code to your cell. It's totally unfair, it's like they're forcing you to get one. I will admit it makes some things more convenient for sure, it can be fun bla bla, but it's not a necessity.  It's annoying how they're pushed down everyone's throats.



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185,356 When I tell people that I don't have a cellphone they look at me like l'm an alien from another planet. That's messed up. And there are businesses and websites and people in general that won't deal with you because of it. That too is messed up. I say fuck you, I don't have a $120 phone bill every month. I actually get along just fine without one. I have a cheap landline and that is enough for me.



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185,355 affection.

i miss it.

bad.

would never ask for it.

would never admit it.



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185,354 I'm planning to kill myself.  When you start your job, I will start searching for a gun to purchase so that you don't see me doing it.

I love you and I'm sorry, but I don't want to endure like this anymore.

I really hope atheism is right and that there is nothing after death.



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185,353 Announced today, there's been another case of an illegal immigrant sexually assaulting a young girl. He has a felony conviction and was deported in the past. But he easily returned to commit more crimes. This time the rape of a young girl.

It happened in Virginia.

Virginia voted for Clinton.

Democrats, how do you live with yourselves?



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185,352 A woman I know is very mean to me online. She is overweight and has no income. I am very fit and have a good income. I think this is why she is mean to me. It's jealousy on her part. I hold no ill will towards her for her weight or her economic status. Yet she clearly is mean to me because of these differences. This is what's wrong with life. Mean people go on being mean. Nothing stops them. In fact the internet makes it easier to spread their message of hate. I think the only thing to do is have her killed. Okay, I'm kidding about having her killed. But these days, with everyone having access to their own chat board, there is really no way to stop a self-proclaimed Queen of Mean.



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185,351 "Devoted" people do not cheat on their spouses.  A person who cannot handle commitment should not get married.  Why do so many people get pleasure out of duping the person they profess to love?  That is not love, it is something else.

Years ago, my brother was deeply in love and married his fiance.  Months later she cheated. He found out when he got crabs and shortly after, gonorrhea.  He will never get out of prison.  The sentence was life without the possibility of parole.  

All she had to do was keep her marriage vows, the ones she uttered before God, Himself!  If she had done that, I would not be writing this today.  A lot of stuff would be very different.  

So, thanks, Charla, rest in peace ... if you can.



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185,350 I masturbate at work a lot. I'm single, and I'm trying to use it as a method to keep myself from sleeping with someone easy just because I'm horny.

There's one person in my life that I love (but am not in love with) that I may try to work things out with. There's another person that I don't know nearly as well, who I think would want a serious relationship with me.

I feel bad, because I feel like I want a relationship with the second to make up for the first not giving that to me. But I don't want to rebound like that.



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185,349 There's a woman in my town complaining on social media that high school kids are tossing empty liquor bottles out their car windows onto the side of the road in front of her house. She scolds parents for not raising better kids.

LOL. I know her son. He's in high school and a big party animal. I've been in a car with him when he tossed his empty liquor bottle by the bottom of his driveway before going inside. She's yelling at everyone else to raise better children when it's her own son tossing the bottles. LOL.



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185,348 I'm so frustrated. I tried to sign up on a website and they want to send a confirmation text to my cell phone to verify I'm legit. But I don't have a cell phone. Is this the new normal. I'm only a real person if I have a cell phone? That's discrimination. And annoying as hell because now I can't join the website. It's also stupid on the part of the website. They want more customers. But they won't let a potential new customer like me sign up. Okay, now I'll buy what I need at one of their competitors.



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185,347 I'm from the same hometown as Sean Spicer. I don't tell many people this for obvious reasons. :p



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185,346 Ok, so not to overly push this situation pertaining to the man on the United flight, but why him? There was a plane filled with people, and the police chose him to "volunteer" to be taken off. Was there a "hidden from video view"  reason for picking him. Was he on a no fly list of some kind? Did he start something with another passenger? Did he say something that got the air workers worried? If no then I hope United gets the rocks sued off of them, but if there was a situation, well.... political correctness strikes again.



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185,345 I've decided not to have any children. This world is such a piece of shit, why would I do something so cruel to them?



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185,344 I don't trust myself. It's way too late to be up. I should be in bed; I just got a new job. But instead I'm up. I set my alarm in the morning and press snooze for an hour and then I'm late. Because I don't trust myself to get up at the time I set. WTF. My life would be so much easier if only I could. Why am I sabatoging myself?



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185,343 I have this friend I have known for almost ten years.  In that time of knowing her she is on her third husband.  She was on husband number two when we met.  She has worked at every salon in this town.  She was taken to court over not paying money owed to one of the salon owners.  The salon owner won the small claims case.

She has moved here, moved away, moved back.  Now she is with her third husband.

In this time of knowing her, as much as I initially loved her... I am starting to see the pattern.  Fool me once, shame on me.  Fool me twice, shame on you.

She's a manipulator.  She uses people as a means to an end.  When she doesn't live here, I don't exist to her.  The minute she's back in town, if she needs something, then she pops up.  That's it.

I am so hurt to know I am a means to an end to her.  Also, her latest husband doesn't really like me.  Probably because I can see him for the user he is.  She is basically his sugar momma.

The whole thing makes me sad.  

You're coming back into town this summer?  Great.  You want to see me?  Should I wait until you need something?  

Do me a favor, don't hold your breath.  You may be waiting for a long time.

It makes me sad to let go of a friendship that is almost a decade long, but I'm reminding myself I can't really lose something if I never really had it in the first place.



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185,342 My mother used to choose men over me. But I was shamed for choosing friends over her. In my mind, at the time, it wasn't about one over another; I was just trying to live my life and spend time with friends. The constant guilt and jealousy really did a number on me psychologically, the effects of which I still struggle to remedy decades later. So, please, parents: stop. You were young just a few years ago. Please recognize how damaging your selfishness is and just let your children be their individual selves.



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185,341 In my town, drag is in. But honestly I think drag shows are overrated. Didn't people used to actually sing? Now it feels like lip sync karaoke, and the amount of creepy, closeted (probably married) men in the audience is off-putting. Not hating on drag in general, but y'all need to change it up.



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185,340 my 17 year old and 18 year old daughters hate me they would rather spend time with a psychotic nutcase then me and she loves the attention... I am losing control to a psychopath.....what can I do??? please anyone give me suggestions......



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185,339 About 5 years ago I met a guy from Craigslist. It was in the M looking for M section. It worked out well for a while. We were both married and needed to be discrete. We hooked up a few dozen times. It was damned intense. We sucked each other off and ass fucked, but we did some zany shit too. Like we'd each bring a pair of our wife's panties. I'd jack off into his wife's. He'd jack off into mine. Then I'd bring my wife's panties back home. Next time she wore them, I'd get a boner knowing that even though they were washed, a stranger had jacked off in them. Wish I could have gotten her to wear them with his cum still in the crotch. There was another spicy act of debauchery. I'd fuck my wife. He'd fuck his. Then I'd meet him as soon as possible, but without taking a shower. I'd suck on his cock and could taste his wife's pussy. He'd suck on my cock and taste my wife's pussy. We'd also ass fuck like that so my wife's pussy juice ended up in his ass. Wicked hot sharing my wife's pussy juices with a stranger.



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185,338 ive appologized thousands of times literally without response... and my last message contained one and forgiveness to your unmeant appology... believe me i dont care. i needed help from u at one point but i found my own closure. all u want is to feel like people can see someone after u.... so here: you're not what i am meant to be with but ill never forget how u were the only one there for me.. ill never forget how i discovered my stupid art and lost some progress because of not being my own reassurance and drive. its completely meaningless at this point u and me... i have no room for someone with that history.. i know if it mattered to u u would have confronted it... ur at an even zero of points with me.. enjoy your points. honestly if u needed to talk or needed someone to listen i would have never done that to u even as revenge.. but i know ur fine... it does matter to me.. like it would any cool person i know.. i remember u... i remember other ppl i have disturbed and i do feel compassion...



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185,337 Imagine if your heart surgeon decided to overbook operations. Sometimes a patient can't make the scheduled operation. Medical complications come up. The patient's blood pressure gets erratic. Or the patient is sick with the flu. Or even sometimes the patient dies the night before the operation. This isn't fair to the heart surgeon. They want to make money. So it's only fair they should be allowed to overbook operations - two patients scheduled at the same time. That way if one doesn't show, the doctor can still make money on the other.

What happens if both patients do show up? Well the doctor should be allowed to randomly pick one patient and bashed him in the head until he bleeds profusely. Then the patient should be dragged by his hands and feet down the hospital hallway and tossed out onto the curb. That's what should happen.

Because remember, the most important thing - much more important than the patient's health and the life saving heart operation - the most important thing is for the doctor to earn maximum profits.



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185,336 You really hurt me. I would forgive that in an instant if you had enough heart to apologize, but apparently you don't.



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185,335 My son makes me sad. He and his friends play some online game against each other. If you are good at the game, you can earn special equipment. My son has quite a lot of the special equipment. I'm told his friends are impressed. But what I just found out, my son bought the equipment. If you are not good enough to earn it, you can use real cash to buy it. That's what my son did. He had $150 from itunes gift cards given to him for his birthday etc. He used the money to make it look like he was better then he actually was. That's so sad to me. It's a silly game. It shouldn't matter. But I think it shows something about who he is. He thinks nothing of taking a shortcut. And he's vain. He wants desperately to impress others. But he's not willing to put in the effort. He buys what he cannot earn. Of course he didn't tell anyone he spent money to boost himself higher. He lied to his friends and told them he earned his way to that status. He's lazy, vain, and dishonest. I learned all that from him and this stupid video game. I thought I raised a different person.



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185,334 329--Don't pour your heart out like that for someone who ignores you. It is only falling on deaf ears. If you were honest, sincere, authentic, and decent with him and he still ditched out on you, that's his problem and loss. Take it for what it is--a true reflection of his character and level of emotional maturity, not a failing on your part.



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185,333 I hate millenials. I'm getting rid off them at work, one by one.



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185,332 ive tried to show her all i wanted was friendship and honestly she only knows i dont care for that either now. you had your chance to act like a friend. i have zero reason to be friends with you. maybe i would have listened to your story or had something to say if u had the guts or desire to even try but i dont need more friends. lots of people want to be friends i will choose who to invest that time and care to. want a life like a movie? it already is create moments be honest show your true self. friendship and love will find you.



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185,331 Everyone around me is bashing United. I, on the other hand, think they had no choice. If you're asked to leave, you leave whether the proprietor is right or not. The guy brought it on himself. I don't feel sorry for the guy. I'm not asking to debate it here. Just need some place to say it. Thanks.



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185,330 #321 do you have more stories about her?



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185,329 B, I would want to be friends with you if nothing else.  You say you don't want to hear from me ever, and it sucks because even though we never met, I "met" you at a time in my life when I was vulnerable which may be part of why you made such an impact on me. You got in there. I felt we had a mental connection, an emotional one because we liked each other, and if we met it would have been physical, but I'm not even asking for that. I'd like to be friends. I don't think you're a bad guy even though I think you played me, you're freakin stubborn though and I don't know why you were so mad at me. And when I contacted you again you said your feelings for me came back, which means you still felt for me after all that time. Like I said, I'm not asking for that, just to at least be friends.



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185,328 I'm pretty sure my parents have the last marriage on Earth that isn't a sham. Fuck marriage. A "devoted husband" these days is as much an oxymoron as a "chaste prostitute". I give up.



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185,327 I consider myself to be the good devoted husband. I'm always supportive and loving towards my wife.

I could get the husband of the year award, except ----- I cheated on her three times.

First time was with a former girlfriend. It was about a month after my wedding. I think the former girlfriend wanted to see if she still had the power to steal me away from my new wife. She did. We slept together at her apartment then I went home like nothing happened. It was very easy to pull off.

Second time was about 10 years later. It was with my wife's good friend. The three of us were sitting at the kitchen counter drinking wine and having a good conversation. We were mostly discussing the friend's love life. I was teasing her about being single and all the guy's she must be dating. She said no, she hasn't gotten any in a long time. My wife got up and went to the bathroom. The friend then said to me in a hushed tone, "Maybe what I need is for you to come over and fuck me." I was like "Really?" And she said yes. She said I should come over that evening. So I went over and we fucked. Again it was very easy to conceal.

Third time was quite recent. It was with the wife of one of my friends. We always had good banter. I enjoyed bumping into her at social gatherings. At one party, she came up to me and started saying what a shit her husband was being. She said she wanted revenge. We joked about what we could do to him, spread a rumor he was gay, tell him his boss called and he was fired, that sort of thing. Then she said, "Or I could sleep with someone else..." I said, "Sign me up." She said "OK." I said "Really?" She said, "Yes, let's do it." So we made a plan for two days later when he was at work. We fucked. It was really good.

So yep, I'm a devoted husband, except for cheating on my wife three times.



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185,326 Go out and buy a belt. Attach a small rope or bungee cord to the middle of it.

Next, put one leg on either side of that bungee cord, pull your belt up, and shove that cord as far and as deep in the crack of your ass as you can get it to go.

Make sure you have it wedged in good now!

Got it up there?

Is it digging into your asshole yet? Yep? Great! Now fasten your belt securely and wear it around all day with your buttcheeks hanging out.

After you've done that for a couple of days come back and tell us whether or not thongs are over.



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185,325 I am taking a personal vow of celibacy. No porn, no masturbation and no random sex until I am in a relationship.  29 M.



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185,324 Is it just me, or are thongs over? More and more I'm finding women are going back to traditional granny panties.



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185,323 Some people are fond of spreading completely false information. They claim undocumented workers pay their fair share of taxes, so they deserve to live here. Simply untrue. You think your lawn guy from Mexico pays taxes on the $100 you give him? No way. Undocumented workers pay no taxes. They work off the books. They are afraid if they worked on the books, they'd be detected and deported. So they get paid under the table. They take our jobs. They use our roads, our schools, our police and fire departments. But they pay for none of it. I mean it's bad enough what's been going on. But for some people today to spin it that the illegal immigrants have been paying their fair share of taxes??? What a crock of bull shit!



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185,322 United Airlines, what the fuck is wrong with you?

If ever there was a company that needs to be boycotted, United Airlines, you're it.

Holy crapoly. I hope to god there are criminal charges filed. Last time I looked at the law, you can't just bloody someone's face. The passenger did nothing wrong. He had a ticket. He had a seat. He was trying to be helpful, but ultimately he needed to get to his destination because he is a doctor who needs to treat patients!!!!!

To everyone else, go look at yesterday's video on Dr. David Dao.



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185,321 Worst woman I've ever encountered. She was the typical suburban soccer mom of three. She wanted to move to a bigger better house. But they couldn't afford it.

She meets a guy while at some charity gala. She finds out he is rich and has a large McMansion type house. He is also married with many kids. The gears turn in her head.  She comes on to him. They start to have an affair, even though, get this, she is 8 months pregnant at the time.  Have you ever heard of a pregnant mom cheating on her husband? I would think some maternal instinct would kick in and tell her no. I guess her love of money was stronger than the maternal instinct.

She has the baby and by a month later she convinces the married man to shack up with her. They both file for divorce from their spouses. The gold digger then gets to move into the big McMansion house. And in a never-seen-before odd twist, she leaves her children behind. Even the newborn. The kid is one month old and his mother leaves just so she can live in her dream house without the burden of children.

Her ex husband is tortured by all this. He thought he was happily married, but within a two month window, his wife leaves and abandons their kids. He's left trying to juggle work and kids and a newborn.

The gold digger, she didn't care a damn. She focuses on redecorating the mansion house and spending the rich guy's money. Her dream has come true. She is the top of the social circle in town. She married one of the richest men. Except that everyone in town knows the story and is completely disgusted at how she behaved. She the prime topic of discussion, and not in a good way.

Who leaves their new born child???? I've never heard anything like it.



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185,320 I have a crush on a co-worker...he just sent an email to my co-worker/friend saying "Just when I thought you couldn't get more beautiful, you surprised me :)"

I mean, he's leaving the country in a couple months, so I never thought I'd have a chance with him, but reading that email made me feel a little sick.

I've never been on this side of this feeling before. It gives me a new sense of perspective. Usually I'm the one people go for instead of my friends, but now I know how it feels to be the "ugly friend."

I guess that's my humility for today.



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185,319 So  there's this hot little red head girl that I've been fucking lately, her body is smoke'n. But she's a party girl and can't handle her drink, I think she's kind of out there, anyway, we go out the other night and drink expensive bourbon, we end up back at my place and my tongue is in her ass and pussy, we fall asleep, when in the middle of the night I'm woken by the sound of my bedroom door closing, I just figure she's getting a cab home, (she actually had to work before me the next day) but then the door kept trying to 'close' it started to freak me out, so I get up and find this girl sleep walking and in the closet behind the door doing I don't know what, she was banging the door with her back, I tried to lead her out, she said she had to go to the bathroom, I was freaking out because I read that if you wake up a sleep walker they could hurt you or themselves. so i try to gently lead her to the bathroom, she breaks away and stumples over to the night stand next to my bed, she squats down and proceeds to piss all over the floor. I was shocked and so turned on at the same time. She gets back in the bed, and in the morning I take her home, I have a feeling she knows what she did. lucky for her I'm turned on by it (not so much her pissing on my floor, I wish she had done that on my dick or face) maybe we can have a conversation about it at a later date. Or maybe we should never drink alcohol together again.

49M



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185,318 I wish that we could vote some people off the island.

Just saying...



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185,317 it's not just women. not just men. who can have trouble actualizing their love. people should be honest about how they feel to eachother. it's the only way to figure it out with eachother. im sure the girl who invested her care in me wanted some honesty sooner. it was too late for any sort of understanding from her when i tried to work out my feelings with her honestly. at that point i knew she wasn't my kind. she confused me on purpose or my anger at having no one confused me. i tried to create a conversation without her input. she did that on purpose and i forgive her. some people like my mother can live in a fake relationship and pretend to love and in a sense it's real love it's give and take if taking is her thing i guess she'll die successful. she could have had my father but thank god he found someone honest and real and brilliant. i am like him. yet he would never know it. cuz the bitch drove me mental and pissed on my beginning of life's work. sent ME to the hospital because she didn't want to confront me about the lies of setting me up. i was gone basically the month child support ended. "no more drives to the art store" when i lived in a small town and had 2 jobs. when i confronted her it was threats and disgusting manipulation of key moments of planning my investment in my art. my dad could have been paying half what he did with child support and we could have benefitted from it more. my mom got to look all professional and clean and nice and buy smokes and her friends little gifts and save for her retirement. i had a few outfits in highschool on a good day i looked nice too. im just saying.. be your own person and forget those who don't support it. no one can tell you to sign and price your paintings high. or to value your plan and commit. unless they're actually a good parent. i also identify with my stalker but i will grow beyond my need to find understanding in a person im not with unlike him for a while. he should know i don't read the messages but that i hope he finds someone who values him. he never raped me but i deserved that spit in my face in some sense. you know i'm not sure if anyone would feel safe with him but i know people can drive all of us half evil half good people to destroy ourselves and others. even if that person who pretended to be there for me never was. i have my own platform of understanding and ability to be honest. i idealized love and found someone who believes in me. they're brilliant and full of miracles. an artist as gifted as me with meaning and understanding we could paint or sculpt any concept together or separately. hers are more mysterious. i love her. i have a reason to listen now. and she's on board for the plan. i think. but it's about my life and my commitment to it not the help i deserve. yet.. how dare someone look at a suffering person who does not have what they do. and not sympathize with that sometimes you do need help. i couldn't afford my art after what i became. no one wants to invest in a person they invest in a future with them. i need to control and eliminate addiction. so far coffee is gone. smokes taste shit so forget it. i am so sorry to my stalker for making you feel like you didn't have anything to offer just because you weren't what i needed. i am sorry for trying to make due and lie about it then give you the honesty in between. i don't owe you. you can't buy me. i paid way more than you think and all the rent you didn't pay trying to give the apartment to you so you could stalk me and blame me for being homeless. pissed all over my shit. he did. well... life is a terror. be careful who you try with. no one can help you unless you can help them or it's the hospital that does not have the key ingredients to create a situation for you only medications. make sure you can love who you try with. something else about that. i would have met her sooner if i didn't invest in my own misery. i just want to remain calm and focus on what is next for me. i am lucky and i wish everyone could find in themselves what they know they have to offer and invest in that instead of their own misery. oh and people looking for happy surprises may not know that their person is living in stress and it should be a happy surprise for both of you to work on that stress. giving a happy surprise for me is just as nice as getting. i don't know



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185,316 I am not stupid, nor am I uneducated. But i have seen what having money does to people. Everyone thinks we need more than we do.

I have never wanted a lot. Just a home and to be loved.
I am ok in my job. I am ok in my life.

Yeah my marriage is ending, yeah it sucks but money makes people crazy, and inflates ego's i would rather be broke and comfortable.

My kids may resent being on the poor side in the future but life is about experinces not stuff.



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185,315 I wish my mom would leave her "sugar daddy". The truth is, he isn't a sugar daddy anymore. Shes sucking old man dick for pennies and a roof over her head and not a day goes by where I wish he was out of our life. But she got in too deep. She got married to this psychotic fucked. I know most rich dudes are fucking crazy, but look mom, you did this to HELP us.

Now what help are we getting? I'm struggling so much. With lyme disease, with bills. I cant afford my medication. I have an old POS car that doesn't work.

I cant even hang out with you unless its over at your place with that monster.

I know that doctor dude you were seeing was fucking crazy and a drug addict but hell. At least I wouldn't be struggling and sick and I'd be able to see my lyme disease doctor and life would be so much better, Maybe. I dont know.

This is just too much pain and suffering, mom. And for what? For what anymore? You're even paying for the fucking condo now.

I'd rather live in a box with you than have us deal with this old man any longer.

Unless there's something youre holding out on that I dont know about. Will we be swimming in cash after he dies?

Dear god, please let that be a truth at least. I just want to have you back.

Ever since he lost the condo by the ocean it just hasn't been worth it and you dont know where to cut the losses.



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185,314 Why do people stay with terrible people? I admit to commitment phobia but if I'm in, I'm in all the way. I also can be terribly vindictive to those who dare to cross me. I used to own a book called .... Something about a dish being served cold. Revenge is a dish served cold. Very clever pranks...I don't know why it was so fun!



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185,313 Holy fuck, and fuck me running. I love you so much. We, my dear, are in TROUBLE. I love you so much. I love you so goddamn much and I am going to sit here and watch you feel it too and youre gonna say it first once you cant keep it inside anymore. But dont worry, i will say it back. Because i love you too...i love you so much. Just say it to me already...



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185,312 Eleven years ago I got married.  My husband waited until several months after we got married to tell me some things.  Very troubling things.  He was basically a scam artist. It was a short marriage and quickie divorce, but in the meantime he took me and my family for thousands of dollars.  He kept promising to pay it back but he never did, and I had no recourse because I didn't know where he was living.  I had to use a relative's address for the divorce papers.  

I remarried a few years ago.  This year, our tax refund was withheld for debts owed - MY debts.  I didn't have any that I knew of.  Turns out that my return for one year was audited and I owed money.  The year?  It was when I was married to the scammer.  The IRS is sending me the report from the audit.

In the meantime, I got my annual free credit report.  There are credit cards, store cards and mortgages in my name that I don't have.  Now I have to figure out what this shit is.

I just found my ex-husband's LinkedIn account.  Not one word of it is true.  It's absolutely incredible.  Anyone with basic internet skills could figure out that it's bullshit.  For example, one company wasn't even founded until two years after he "left."  Others simply don't exist.

I also found the dummy's Instagram.  Now I know where he lives.  I think the IRS will be interested in having that information.  As well as other people.



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185,311 When I was married I found correspondence between my husband and his first ex-wife. In his letters he complained about my awful character and behavior. One of the complains stuck in my memory. He was very bitter and upset that I "made" him repair two broken chairs on his birthday. He then went on and on about how much he did for the family and felt unappreciated. What he forgot to mention was that he repaired two chairs because we were expecting his family for his birthday and that I had been cooking for two days to please him and my in-laws. Just saying...sometimes things are not what they seem. In his opinion, I was the most difficult wife ever...too.

P.S. I divorced him shortly afterwards.



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185,310 Yes, it's me again. The guy with the most difficult wife.

We were going to weed the garden on Sunday. That was the plan. Spring is here. Time to plant. This was the plan we agreed to a week earlier.

When Sunday came around, I set to work. My wife was nowhere to be found. Later that morning she came back. Turns out she was at the gym. She said she'd get changed. I took that to mean she'd put on old clothes and come help. Oh she got changed all right, but she took off again. She returned in the middle of the afternoon after having lunch with her friend.

Then she vanished again. I didn't see her until darkness was setting in.

So tired of her crap, I pointed out how she once again managed to weasel out of the hard work, and weasel out of her promise to help.

She justified it by saying she did do something helpful.... she bought two cases of wine. This was her contribution to the chores, this is how she helped "us", she bought wine.

I don't drink. Nothing ever. All that wine is for her. 24 bottles is a 16 day supply for her. She drinks a bottle and a half every night. Six glasses wine. Anyway, my wife's contribution to the weeding was to buy herself more wine.

She's beyond hope. I can't get my head around how she can behave so badly all the time. She doesn't care. She has the mindset she can do whatever she wants and there will be no consequences. But it's more than that. She does whatever she wants yes, but she also does whatever is most menacing. If there was one piece of cake left, not only would she take it without a care, but she'd shoot everyone else at the table, also without a care. Why? Just because it would cause the most trouble. That's who she is.



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185,309 I withdrew into my own little world growing up because I was scared to death of people. I was so afraid of being rejected and not fitting in that I kept to myself and became the weird kid that everybody made fun of...because I was trying so hard to avoid being the weird kid that everybody made fun of. The same mindset carried over into relationships in adulthood. I tried to avoid them altogether, but if I found myself attracted to someone or caring about them I would try so hard to avoid losing them that I pushed them away and lost them anyway. Out of fear, I go way overboard to the point of humiliating myself and alienating the people I want to be closer to. The worst part about it is that, aside from this obnoxious and embarrassing tendency, I'm a good person. I'm not crazy, but it makes me look crazy. Things will start out good, and then fear takes over so I go on these preemptive strikes in response to all of the things that I am afraid will happen, and then I create the situations that I'm afraid of in my desperate, frenzied efforts to avoid them. In those moments, it's like somebody comes along and pushes the panic button out of nowhere and I just react. The things that I say to myself internally are horrible and hateful; things that nobody in real life would ever say to me, and those thoughts then manifest themselves into this idea that I'm not good enough, that I deserve to be ditched, and that the people I care about are all going to ditch out on me. Then this fear leads to me doing weird things that make me look nuts because I'm trying so hard to avoid getting ditched. I know that a lot of it has to do with my childhood, but I feel like I should be past this by now. It has hurt my life in a lot of ways. I wish I knew how to stop.



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185,308 You are so far above me,,,,

Is that true?
Can you know with absolute certainty that it's true?
How do you feel when you allow yourself to believe that thought?
Who would you be if you didn't buy into it?/

Turn it around...



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185,307 I know, to each his own, but piercings on the lips and eyebrows just gag me. I can't look at the faces of people who have them. It's not that I'm judging them, it just grosses me out.

I also can't look at women who shave their eyebrows and then draw on fake ones that don't follow the contour of their brow bone. It doesn't gross me out but it does make me want to laugh.

I don't know if this makes me esthetically sensitive or just shallow, or both.



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185,306 It would be so nice if we could all just agree to be friends. It's kindergarten all over. So sad.



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185,305 I was quite happily jacking off until my wife decided to come into the basement.



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185,304 I still love you. It's probably no secret - I'm sure you know.
I used to tell you that you seemed like a different species to me. That you were so perfect you must be some sort of alien. It's true, we were always worlds apart and I feel it even more now. That's why I can't be near you. Why every feeling is magnified. You are so far above me and when you look at me I feel so exposed and I feel my every flaw crushing me.

I miss you. I love you. I'm afraid I'll never stop.

x



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185,303 you ask about the 'dark space' and I go silent. My eyes water and I change the topic to something that'll make you laugh and forget the question. So I'm telling the world, my 'dark space' was me giving up. I couldn't hold on any longer, I felt unwanted unloved and a waste of space. I had it all planed out how I wanted to go, I would get a hotel room take a handful of something and say good night. I waited to do this cause I couldn't stomach the thought of my mum and sister hearing how I left the world. Them having to pick out my last outfit, mum looking at baby pics thinking she failed me and trying to figure out what to tell my godson why I won't be there for xmas.
I waited and held my breath trying to hold on and suddenly you appeared. You made the darkness fade away and slowly the beautiful light started to shine again. When I felt like I was fading you grabbed me and held me tight without knowing my plans. When I put myself down you were there reminding how beautiful I am, you made the old me come back ..not the mask I had been wearing for so long.

I'm here because of you, one day I hope I can show you this and thank you for saving me, you are my knight in shining armor. I love you



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185,302 I should have died when I was 15 from my autoimmune disease.  Thanks to modern medicine, I survived... and I survived the several dozen more times I should have died, too.  I'm involved in a Facebook community of many others with my same condition.  Of my 1,000 Facebook friends with my condition, about 4 die a year from it.  That's 4 in 1,000, or 400 in 100,000.  The most dangerous job in America is that of a logger, which has a death rate of 111 in 100,000.  If my medical condition were a career, it'd be four times more dangerous than that.  But loggers only work 8 hours a day.  My autoimmune disease works 3 shifts in a 24 hour day.  The reality is my condition is 12 times more dangerous.

But that's just the background to what I wanted to say.  When I was young, I was always striving for purpose while I tried to survive.  I wanted to live at any cost.  I got very, very good at surviving.  Now I'm halfway through my life.  I'm happy that I don't have as much of this bullshit to have to endure anymore.



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185,301 You're not alone. It may feel like it, but there are many people on your cold and lonesome boat. It's just dark and you can't see them. Row until daybreak. Share your story when the sun rises. The sun rises every day somewhere until the day it doesn't. And that day isn't tomorrow, trust me. Or jump. It's not my call or anyone's but yours. I vote for rowing, though. Fucking row. Fucking. Row.



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185,300 I'm a gay man in my 50's. I came out in 1989. I lost so many friends to AIDS that I thought I would surely die, too, from heartbreak. It was terrible. It's still terrible. But it's my job to go on. To continue until it's my turn, too, and try try try to do good work for my friends that are gone. I lost my father just over a year ago. I wear his wedding ring and will never take it off. Loss comes. It never leaves. Never. But I sat in my car today and felt the sun, so warm, on my arm. Who am I to refuse so great a gift? I'm tired tonight. And the bed will be soft and welcoming. I hope that the end is as welcoming when it comes but I feel like it's my job now to pick up a stone each morning, move it ahead during the day and set it down at night. Not in a tiresome way but in the way that life asks for effort, yes, and suffering, too, but also pays effort in so many days of warm sun and clear and shining memories, promises and secrets, whispered, on pillows in the dark.



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