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186,199 My wife isn't exactly a wild woman, but she got me a "Dirty Thirty" birthday card and cake, plus other silly related stuff. I *have* heard women talking about what they can't/won't provide sexually to their husbands, then laughing and rolling their eyes whey they said "good luck" with him finding a woman that would do it for him, and they might even thank her for taking on a disagreeable task. Many women do like to hear/see/read/share explicit and raunchy descriptions of sex, an as an author of erotica, I've heard my share of thanks from women who liked the dirty stuff I've written.

Yes, I think 100% believable that a woman would write a post like that about what she would like to get her husband for his 30th.

Some women would love to share their husband with other women, just like some men want to share their wives with other men. It's just sex to them, and these people can separate the physical act from the mental connection.

Some people want to explore and expand their sexuality, and others want to help certain things happen in the name of love. Don't hate.



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186,198 If two lesbians have sex and lose their virginity to each other, then the first time I licked out a girl and fingered her in the second grade, she lost her virginity to me - but not me to her.



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186,197 What? I'm alone now. I'm in a room with your thoughts. Somehow though . . .  I'm all alone

What happened to us? It doesn't matter now. I see life as a river.

Flowing, flowing, ever flowing

I'm bent down now to give my soul to the winds

They say it was a plot, but what's the use?

My concerns are with the old undergrowth.



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186,196 Being a single mother is the ultimate challenge



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186,195 Being a mother is the ultimate challenge



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186,194 Just noticed none of my pictures I am smiling with my teeth.. my fake being happy can fool everyone but myself.



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186,193 I always thought I was smart.
30 years later, I don't think I'm as smart as I thought I was!



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186,192 I understand you and LOVE you Chris Cornell and we share a terrible despair, but my kids are my priority In life and the only thing thats keeping me from offing myself.  Suicidal thoughts suck, but how dare you put your kids through that. Fuck you Chris Cornell.



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186,191 I fucking hate my family.  Fucking narcissists.  They listen to my words, twist them around, change things until they make no sense, then talk to me like I'm in idiot.  I fucking hate those jackasses.  Yesterday they called their own fucking friends phony, because the friends were glad to see my family again after losing contact with them due to an illness.  My family are the real phonys.  I fucking hate those piece of fucking shit bitches.  They are the biggest fucking backstabbers ever, and I get so outrageously angry at them.  I can't help it.  They suck so bad.  I need some real people in my life.



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186,190 Sometimes I want to just SLAP my husband -- he's such a wimp! He's as willfully naive and blindly trusting as a child sometimes, the poor sap.

He was way too well trained by his autocratic despot of a mother, who only likes people when they're totally subservient to her, jump to do whatever she demands no matter how outrageous, have no boundaries and no needs of their own. Her slightest sniffle is an emergency, who gives a flip about the other guy's broken leg. I hate that evil bitch and won't have anything to do with her.

But her legacy is readily apparent in my poor blithering yes-man of a husband.  He wants to please everyone, all the time, no matter how awful they are or how outrageous their demands.  I have to be the Bad Cop all the time because of the power vacuum created in our lives by his inability to assert himself:

"No, you are NOT giving your flaky friend money."
"No, you are NOT letting those people walk all over you."
"No, we are NOT doing this outrageous thing your mother wants from us, that's ridiculous."
"No, you CANNOT spend time with that self-pitying tragedy whore of a woman who obviously wants to fuck you, I don't care how persistent or dramatic or whiny she is."

Awhile back he spent $1300 to bail a friend out of jail after this fucking moron got arrested for not paying a speeding ticket.  The friend never paid him back a cent, naturally.  Now, there's this woman 17 years younger who seems to think he's Santa Claus and her Daddy all rolled into one, and she hate hate HATES me because I became suspicious of her and made him cut contact with her.  He showed me some IM messages in which she's OBVIOUSLY insulting me and trying to get into his pants, but it didn't occur to him that she was actually doing anything wrong because NO ONE would try to break up our marriage!  Of course she didn't mean any harm!  Do you think she actually wanted to break us up, honey?  Really?  Why would anyone do that?

IT'S PATENTLY OBVIOUS SHE WAS, DARLING! Get a fucking CLUE for once!

She's about the fourth woman to try to glom onto him like this: the first was an ex-girlfriend who got beauty school tuition out of him (never paid him back), the second was this little gold digger who trailed around after him during our engagement, the third was a slutty co-worker who openly propositioned him, and now we've got this little drama queen who IMed him and texted him and called him endlessly, calling me "abusive" and "a bully" when I said her behavior was inappropriate.  

He's so goddamn wimpy I'm imagining her just moving in here, throwing my stuff out the window and announcing she's his wife now, putting her hand over his and making him sign the divorce papers, and him just letting it happen because he's too goddamn spineless to ever tell anyone NO.

Other than that he is just the sweetest, nicest, kindest, most loving man imaginable and treats me like gold, but DAMMIT, baby, STAHP being such a compulsive pleaser!  You will NOT be an asshole if you say NO sometimes!!!

32/F/MOSTLY happily married



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186,189 I'll take Pence anytime over Trump .



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186,188 Generic school classes are such a waste of time.  When I was in school, I just wanted classes that were necessary for getting a high paying job.  People told me the generic stuff like history and algebra would help me later in life, when it never did.  Learning about things like history and algebra are important, but do we really need to spend years on this stuff?  I just wanted a higher education and generic education held me back for years.  Even in college I was forced to start by taking all the generic classes like English first instead of technical classes.

Reading about US history and world history shouldn't take years.  Algebra and geometry shouldn't take years to learn.  English classes for years is pointless.  I've lived in the United States my entire life.  I don't need to keep learning how to read and write in English.  Public speaking, yawn!

Public education needs to get away from standardized testing and subjects, and spread out to specialized learning.



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186,187 I still can't believe a baby comes out of that tiny hole. You're joking right?



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186,186 Want Trump impeached? - Hello President Pence.



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186,185 It is not the Democrats or Republicans that are after Trump per se, it is the deep state.  The entrenched bureaucrats, the people that want the United States to fail so they can get some organization like the U.N. to run the world.  It is all about controlling the masses.  You think the Democrats care about the little guy?  The rigged the primaries so dirty Clinton would get elected.  You think the Republicans wanted Trump nominated or elected?  John McCain, traitor, and the other entrenched politicians are all over him.

There is no Russian conspiracy except for the fact that the pedophile Podesta put it out there after Hillary lost, in order to explain it.  Think for a minute.  Think. What could Trump have done with the Russians to change the election?  Not a damn thing.  So when people want the truth put out there, like a true American Democrat Patriot Seth Rich, he is murdered by the Clinton's and her thugs.

Trump is the only thing standing between America existing and us giving over to a world government.  Resist.  Trump, Trump, Trump!



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186,184 Oh please! The winning science fair project at my son's school was clearly designed by a professional graphic artist! We're to believe a 4th grader did it? Really parents, what's the point. You do your son's project and beat out all the other 4th graders who actually did the work themselves. Yay for you, you're adults and you beat 4th graders. Wow aren't you proud!



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186,183 Eating makes me happy. There's nothing wrong with being happy. So I'm fat. Why does anyone care if I'm fat. Get a life of your own and stop interfering with mine.



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186,182 What is all this hysteria about? Trump is not here forever. He was elected for 4 years-you only have to wait another 3.5 years to vote him out....if you are lucky! Thank G-d Hillary is at home- taking care of her husband grand kids and dogs.



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186,181 Close your eyes and bow your head, I need a little sympathy
Cause fear is strong and love's for everyone who isn't me.  



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186,180 I'm all for impeaching you-know-who, but I think in the clamor to get that done, people aren't thinking about what will happen afterwards: President Pence. Mike Pence is, without a doubt, a Christian terrorist. Sure, things are incredibly bad for certain groups under you-know-who, but they will be even worse under MP. He's the one who will actually turn the U.S. into Gilead.

As happy as I am at the possibility of seeing you-know-who gone, I am incredibly cautious about what's potentially going to happen next.

Ultimately, this whole mess illustrates why having two political parties is a BAD idea. What's the point of having a Constitution if neither the Democrats or Republicans respect it? (Yes, this mess also happened because 44 did some unconstitutional stuff, but that's another post altogether).



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186,179 It is disgusting what is going on on this country with politics. Liberals are prepared the throw the whole country under the bus as long as they can get President Trump out of the White House.It is disgusting, President Obama gave Iran billions of dollars and not a peep from MNSBC or CCN .If President Trump opens his mouth the fake news pours out from the press.This nonsense about Russia goes on and on even if there is not evidence . They will also hate the outcome of this investigation when  it does not agree with their believes. Russia would have influenced even the special prosecutor! This negativity  is affecting business in a very bad way as people are uneasy and doubtful. Liberals are prepared to destroy the country to get their way.They expect everyone to be tolerant to their ideas but they burn the country down when one disagrees with them. This President was elected legally so be a decent American and do the right thing.



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186,178 This guys gf is a bitch, and I'd bet money on her not having real actual love for him. But what am I supposed to do? Tell him that? Yeah. That'll work.



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186,177 Don't. You can get past this. Trust me.



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186,176 Maintenance drinking - yeah.



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186,175 I love making love.  I approach it in a very feminine way. I love to be perfectly groomed, to smell sensual and alluring, and to have my bed ready, warm, and inviting. I love everything about that exchange. There is nothing that I love more than pleasing a man who is worthy.



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186,174 I don't smile because my teeth are in bad shape.



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186,173 My secret, my wish :   Make your kids or your family your priority.

Everything else is just noise.



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186,172 My brother is in jail.
He's crazy, he deserves to be in there.
My mom recently died and so I'm one of his only contacts. Before when she was alive, we never talked. I would quit talking to him but I'm afraid of him.
What if he doesn't get time?
He knows where I lives.

He has this girlfriend who is really just this poor girl that he pimps out. He's in jail for beating her up for the 3rd time. The girl is paying for his lawyer. I've been trying to get her to go to a women's shelter or at least free counseling. I don't say anything bad about him just in case she tells him. But she has to get away from him.
He killed her pets.
He's a fucking insane person.
I hope he gets 25 years like they they are threatening him.

When I was a kid a lot of pets disappeared... is that where they went???? This is some serial killer level shit!!!!



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186,171 So I've been helping train a few people at work for an upcoming event, and I had to train one gentleman solo because he could not make the scheduled training. Well he asked if I had a sense of humor, because "most people around here don't." I replied yes, and that my humor was very violent. I also told him that I may threaten to kill him, and he responded by saying he may threaten to skull-fuck me. I laughed, as I thought it was funny, but I was also turned on... I do enjoy rough kinky sex, but of course no coworker knows that. I wana go home and fuck the heck out of my boyfriend.If this guy keeps it up, I'm going to be worn out all the time hahaha.



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186,170 You don't run to the emergency room to have a tick removed! I work with drama queen idiots!



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186,169 167--What you need is a creative hobby. Seriously. I don't care if you've never picked up a paintbrush in your life, go out and get some. Buy some acrylic paints and a couple of canvases and just paint what you feel. Don't worry about form or about painting any object in particular. Just paint your emotions in whatever colors appeal to you. Photography is another great hobby. Hell, gardening...bird watching...bike riding...archery. Just do something else! Don't let food be your comfort.



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186,168 My wife is now over 200 lbs and has a BMI of 41.0 which makes her morbidly obese.  She is short - just over 5 feet tall, and at her weight would have to be 6ƌ" to attain a normal BMI.  I wonder if she understands that this is why I really don't want to have sex with her anymore.  She has tried lately to make overtures, but I act as if I am unaware and just avoid contact with her.  I love her, but her body is absolutely physically replusive to me.  Rolls of fat everywhere.  Not one place on her body that is not massively fat or remotely appealing.  Even her tits have gone from being big to just fat. It really sucks.



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186,167 I've gotten so depressed that nothing makes me happy anymore, except for eating.  I'll eat multiple meals a day just because it's the only pleasure in my life.  I've gotten fatter and fatter over the years.



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186,166 I don't get this Trump impeachment idea. There is no evidence, yet Dems are jumping on this without even seeing the Comely note to himself. And suppose Comely does show his "memo". It's nothing more than his memory of what was said. It's not eveidence of anything.

What if I wrote a note to myself claiming my boss said something. Does that mean my boss said it? No. And what if I thought I might get fired soon. Couldn't that taint the credibility of anything I put in my memo. "Oh you're firing me? Well I have the note I wrote to myself saying you once committed a crime. I wrote it down. It's on a piece of paper. Therefore it is true..." Like what bullshit.

And what did Trump say? "I hope the Flynn investigation goes away." Why is that a crime? Trump hopes it goes away. I'll bet he does. I want it to go away too. No crime there.

If he said "As your boss, I command you to stop this investigation!" Okay, that would be bad. But that's not what happened, even according to Comely.

It's sickening to see the Dems trip over themselves with glee because of more fake news.



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186,165 I always want to fuck my husband. I'm one of those invisible women that men talk about. I want to fuck him daily, but I get it maybe once every 2 weeks. We fucked last night and while it was amazing, he doesn't do much when we fuck in the way of dirty talk, fondling, spanking, etc. I find myself doing most of the sex (I won't call it work) but I find his lack of groping me or touching impossible to look past.
I'm big into sex. I want to enjoy ALL that it has to offer. Just thinking about how his face looks when he's fucking me makes me wet, but I'm not sure I have the same effect on him. I want that. What do you do with a man who isn't sexually very "open?" I can't figure it out but I want to be lusted after.



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186,164 It sucks, because I am not one of these women who wants to be treated like a guy.  I LIKE being a girl, I've always loved it.  I'm girlie and feminine and love when men act like men, but they don't even go up to women like they used to, men seem indifferent.  There's a big divide now, because most of the ones who do come up to women are super aggressive, touchy feely off the bat and they don't even know you yet.  But we're really not supposed to go up to guys either, idc what feminists or supposed enlightened men say, they will view us (most likely) as slutty or easy.  It sucks.



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186,163 I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

Last year, I was a heavy, heavy drinker. I drank almost an entire box of wine every day. In order to combat my growing tolerance, I stopped eating in the afternoons in favor of filling my belly with wine.

I quit drinking in December, but for some reason it's May and I still haven't gotten my eating habits back to normal. Now, I don't want to eat even if I feel hungry and have food in front of me. For some reason, eating gives me feelings of disappointment and regret. I'd rather drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.

I don't think it's anorexia, even though I know I could benefit from losing weight. I'll eat every once or twice every couple of days, but that's it for me. I feel like this habit is residual from my alcoholism, rather than a behavior that hatched on its own.



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186,162 Go back and watch the videos made on election night from all the main stream media outlets.  It is amazing.  All the broadcasts start off in a very jovial mood, the hosts are yucking it up, the shots of the Clinton campaign show rapture on the faces of the sheep.  They were so certain that their gal would win that it was treated like a big party.

Now I have heard a rumor recently and it is pretty good for a conspiracy theory.  When the polls closed these stations did not call the results right away, even where Trump won by huge margins.  Why?  Good question, they are always eager to spew out results, to be the first.

I heard that the Department of Defense was tracking internet traffic that night.  While it is not possible, or extremely hard, to fix the race at the polling places, it would be easy to intercept vote totals, change them, and then send those results on their way.

The DoD noticed one IP address in Atlanta, not Russia, had massive amounts of internet traffic.  They thought that voter fraud was going on with Hillary, a pretty good assumption.  They then sent word to this IP address to cease and desist or they would take them off the map.  The internet activity from that IP address stopped.  Shortly thereafter the networks figured out that the results would not change and they announced Trump the winner.

I am looking into this.  Treason comes to mind.



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186,161 It's just not fun anymore.



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186,160 I wish I had a wife who let her BFF give me a hand job and feel her tits.  I wish I had a wife who wanted to watch some other woman give me a blowjob.  Damn!  Thinking about those things are hot.



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186,159 deleted and banned



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186,158 It's the same thing; "Schadenfreude" is also "poetic justice."



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186,157 I watched this show on TV yesterday (The View).  The women were talking about how chivalrous men aren't these days.  They lamented that men don't want to pick up the tab anymore, they don't hold the door open for a woman to get into the car, etc., etc., etc.

BUT, in reality, you can't even look at most women these days without them becoming offended and "sexually harassed," even if the situation is in no way sexual.  

These days women demand to be treated as equals to men and everyone else.  That's fine, of course; but where is the line drawn?  How can you tell which women want what?  Which woman will be offended by you opening the door?  How can you know whether offering to carry the heavy box for the female assistant will land you in HR for harassment?  And God ... What if you marry one of them???  It might seem rather lighthearted, but people end up in jail or out of work because of these very situations.  You must be very careful these days.  Really, really careful.

Thanks, women's' lib!



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186,156 "Schadenfreude" is when you find joy in another's misfortune(s).

I wonder what it's called when you're not exactly joyful that someone is going through a terrible, terrible time - including an immense amount of physical pain - but rather just sitting back, watching it unfold, and thinking, "Well, you've caused a lot of pain in some peoples' lives, you've almost destroyed some of those lives, you've lied and betrayed and hurt so many, all while laughing, playing the victim and talking about Karma, so...."



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186,155 My boss wears alot of pink. Pink shirts and pink ties. Glad to know he is so secure with his feminine side.



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186,154 I know this man. At 53 years old he weighed 430 pounds. His doctor put the fear of God in him and told him to lose the weight or die. It worked. He lost the weight. It took 2 years, but he lost 200 pounds, getting down to a much more reasonable 230. Fantastic. Now another year has gone by. He is 56 years old. He has gained back 110 pounds. He is up to 340. I feel sad for him. He tried so hard to lose the weight. I'm sure it was terribly difficult to diet for two years. Can you imagine? Two years on a diet? And for what? He's gaining back all the weight and he will die. Life is cruel.



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186,153 Hey, girl who left that note on my dorm door - thanks, I never forgot it.  That's why I don't have any friends - I have the personality of a toilet.  Thanks.



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186,152 I'm beyond burned out and over all the bullshit and idiocy that I have to deal with on a daily basis. There has to be a way out. I can't do this for much longer.



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186,151 I have a MASSIVE crush on a man 12 1/2 years younger than me.

He doesn't know it, but so far I've lost 14 pounds, gotten 2 areas Botoxed, had the marionette lines around my mouth Juvedermed, taken pills to clear up my skin, gotten the area under my chin cool-sculpted, and had 2 IPL facials in the time before I see him this summer.

He's been flirting with me for years.

I'm going to be HOT when I get my hands on that sexy little bitch.

F/42



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186,150 Sometimes, God works in EXCITING ways!  For instance, just yesterday, while walking through the Walmart parking lot, I found a fresh, wrapped condom!  That's when I knew he wants me to get fucked in the ASS!  Can't WAIT to heed His will!



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186,149 I found another computer with a hard drive at the dump. The hard drive wires were snipped... but I can fix that! Can't wait to see some guy's wife naked.



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186,148 I wonder if I wasn't so hot if all these guys would still claim to like me so much



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186,147 It would make my whole week if you would message/snap me 🙌🏽



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186,146 You are probably right, most women even the ones who are promiscuous and love sex , never go on such details. They might said , I slept with such and it was good or bad or whatever but they will never give you all the details nor used the kind of vocabulary.  Men on the other hand will tell you every single thing , until the last detail.



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186,145 I'm so bored.  I just want to go to sleep ... that'll kill some time.  Maybe sometime, I'll kill time, permanently.



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186,144 Doesn't matter what's happened, (and some not so happy stuff has happened) I can always go outside, find a place, and totally relax. I live in an ugly city in a not so pretty part of town...But I still have my backyard, the trees, and a patch of blue sky to look at. I still have a book to read.
I have always felt blessed to be able to do this.

If I ever lose that, I think I will blow my brains out.
If I can't go outside and read, someone better kill me.



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186,143 My husband's Dirty Thirty b-day is coming up, and I think I'm going to let him experience something I can't give him. My gag reflex works overtime, so I can't give blowjobs, and I know he's missing out. I'm going to find a woman to give him a BJ even if I have to hire her.

I did an experiment to see if I could handle knowing what was happening. At a party last week I blindfolded him and led him into the garage where my BFF was hiding. Us girls took off our tops and let Husband play with our boobs while we both gave him a handjob. So fucking sexy. She loved it too, and she was happy to help, but a BJ is crossing the line for her.

I can't wait for next week to see his cock in another woman's mouth. Makes me wet to think of it.

MWF/32



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186,142 I'm a big Trump supporter. But if these recent stories are true, that he asked the FBI to stop several investigation that might make him look bad, well, yikers. He has to go.



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186,141 While in a bar, I showed a man I just met my newly coiffed landing strip. Honestly, it makes me a little wet thinking how naughty I was! Yay me! :)



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186,140 haha, spoiled Millenials. way too funny, what they complain about. sit on your ass and expect things.  that's fine with me. more room to advance. look at how hard people used to work. I told one "Oh yes, i'm pulling for you to get hired", when the truth is we all laughed, made fun of you, and said "OH HELL NO'.



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186,139 38f with a boyfriend that's 28. We fuck like rabbits.
I have honestly never been hornier than the last 6 years of my life.
Go find a guy and get it on!



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186,138 351 more days...



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186,137 I went on a job interview yesterday and I think it went well, but today my heart drops each time I hear the email notification on my phone.



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186,136 I work around 60 hours a week. My co-workers love me and my customers love me. I have a boyfriend that everyone thinks we have a perfect relationship. In reality, I am a meth addict that uses daily and my boyfriend is bi-sexual but really isn't attracted to me at all. I want to fix my life.



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186,135 Relationships never work out when you're just in them to try to fill a void. I realized yesterday that since my mother died when I was 7 and my father and brother aren't affectionate or loving people, I have a very large emotional void in my heart. A gaping, only-a-mother's-love sized void.

The problem is, I can't ever fill that void. I can be friends with all the matriarchal figures in the world, but it'll never feel the same as *my* mother's love. Nobody will ever make me feel as safe and whole as my mother did. I can't make up for missing years of I love you's, comforting hugs, goodbye kisses, quality time, life lessons, mother-daughter lessons, and emotional support. There's so much more that I probably have no clue about that I'll never get to have.



I miss you so much mama. There have been so many times in my life where I've cried out for you and needed you, even knowing you'll never be there. It hurts more than anything I've ever experienced, and I don't know how it hasn't broken me. I can only hope that God and heaven are real, and that when I die I'll remember how it felt to be safe in your arms, so I can find you and finally be at peace.



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186,134 I'm not pushy. I'm decisive. I hate when people dick around and hem and haw and can't make a fucking decision. Shit or get off the pot! And don't get offended when I go right on as planned and leave you in the dust either.



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186,133 News came out today that the slain DC democratic worker WAS THE WIKILEAKS SOURCE!!!!!!!! Why aren't people in jail for this. SOMEONE WAS MURDERED! The Democratic Party should be disbanded.



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186,132 LOL! And here I was, thinking I was the only one. I masturbate every month to make my period come and I don't even realize it until I cum, then get cramps immediately after and feel a sense of dread.



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186,131 The President was in the meeting in the White House with the Russians with other government officials.Are people crazy to believe that he could divulge sensitive information? How ridiculous! The liberal press is just digging themselves deeper and deeper into a hole. Hillary Clinton's email server was open to the world to see all the classified information they wanted to see-and this is what is front page news....?



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186,130 So ... he didn't reveal any secrets that are not already privy to our allies.  The problem, therefore, is ... RUSSIA IS NOT OUR ALLY!!!  Get it???



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186,129 deleted



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186,128 I'm 38 and not only do I still get laid, but I find that I'm much less inhibited and a lot more sexually assertive and aggressive than I was in my twenties. You may want to get your hormones checked. Seriously. You're missing out on the best years of your life.



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186,127 35/f here too, and at my sexual peak!



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186,126 Still horny all the time. Still having crazy sex. Just have to make it happen. Age ain't nothing but a number.

--F/35



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186,125 Now that I'm in my thirties it is vastly disturbing to me how in tune and predictable my body has become.

If I masturbate it is usually two or three nights before I wake up with my period.  Same with craving all things chocolate.  Same with crying about nothing and finding anything remotely sensitive a reason to sob.  

This month I feverishly went to town on myself at midnight.  The next morning I woke up with my period.

Dude, this uterus has me on point, like the tides.

I miss the days where I had no idea what was going on with my body.  Where I had crazy sex all month long and was horny all the time... Where I had no idea when the crimson tide was coming, but if it didn't show up I was going to be in a "situation."

Ahhhh, yes.  Your teens and twenties may be insecure, awkward and often full of life lessons.... but man the sex.  Oh God the sex.

.
.
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And the last time I got laid?  When was I dating him, well Obama was in office and I think it was his 2nd or 3rd to last year he served as President.  Oh yeah, and there was snow on the ground.

Dude.  NO.  Mid thirties, this should not be a sexless wasteland.  This shit is bananas.

God, when will I scream your name in bed again?  When will my vag hurt the next morning from being pounded so much the night before?  When will I once again need to worry about birth control?  When will I be spanked, bitten, scratched?  Throw me a bone, literally.  Dude.  How long can this go on?  

Did my sex life peak in my mid twenties?  Is it all down hill from there?  

This is Bridget Jones signing off... until my next period, where I remember I have a vagina and decide to use it, it's a wasteland.  A deserted wasteland.

"Alllllllllllll byyyyyyy myyyyyyyself..."

Spring has sprung.  Everyone else is mating.  Me, I masturbate once a month only to predict the impending doom that will soon follow.

Fuck.



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186,124 One of my 8th grade students was showing off her new tongue piercing in class today. What the hell is wrong with these parents that they'd allow a child of 14 to get a tongue piercing?? I have 7 piercings myself (5 in ears, lip, and nose), but I got them at reasonable ages. Maybe I'm just getting older and not with the times anymore, but a tongue piercing is just not appropriate for a 14 year old.


29/f



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186,123 I sometimes moonlight as a callgirl (and a pretty expensive one). Something that makes me laugh is how often guys tell me afterwards "you had so much fun, you should be paying me" with a proud look. In reality, none of them have ever been appealing to me, and the fact that they believed that I actually enjoyed it tells me they should be paying me even more. Male egos lol



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186,122 There is the ledge. Do I join my heroes? What will happen to us down there?



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186,121 I'm so horney... I'm in a 17 year relationship with another guy. Why am I horny?



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186,120 I just wrote 119. No, I didn't vote for Trump, I went with a 3rd party that seemed to have half a clue. hilary can eat shit for the rest of her miserable life, and I apologize to women everywhere for having to share a gender with that nasty traitor.

Regardless, Trump may not be the best bet for our amazing nation, but he won, so let's move on and help him make America great again. Those haters should quit yelling about something they can't change and actually try to help make this country better. The liberal crybabies and SJWs aren't trying to help, they want an impossible wet dream.



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186,119 I can't stand politics. Politicians are all evil scum-sucking wastes of life. They are theives and liars, and I wish them nothing but bad luck.

Many people I know are all involved in politics. They love to wax poetic about one person or another and how John Doe and Mary Jane are either wonderful or evil, and it makes me laugh to see them talking about politics like they have a snowball's chance in hell of making a difference by talking about it.

The worst ones are the people who get off by talking shit about Trump. I think Trump actually has half a chance at doing good since he's a business man and not a pol, but he can't even take a shit without the media blabbing about how wrong he's doing it. Like I give a damn...

The Trump haters piss me off, but they also entertain me. It's fun to bait them and watch their faces get red as they start spouting off their rage. I almost want to tell them that their anger is useless, but I can't. It's too much fun to watch them all get worked up over nothing. Fucking idiots. Thanks for the entertainment!



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186,118 We didn't have a very good relationship but I loved you immensely. I hope one day I will love someone as much and have a good one.



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186,117 You're gonna live forever!!!!!!



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186,116 In 2010, I still had my pet dog.  I found an online comic series called "Dog" by Enzo, about a guy and his childhood memories of his dog.  I cried my eyes out, and remember trying to put off the day in my head that my dog would die.

Now it's 2017. My dog has been dead for a couple of years.  I never planned on preparing for the day my dog died, because I didn't want it to happen.  I miss my dog every day.

In 2010, I was so young and the future was far away.  I was a completely different person then.  My hometown was my entire life, along with the challenges I had back then.

Now it's been a few years.  I'm so much older and things have changed.  Some of my family members have died from cancer, and I've been away from my childhood home so often I barely even care about it anymore.  I'm getting older so quickly.  I've still got plenty of time left, but I'm prepared and looking forward to dying.



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186,115 I hate chores, but doing the dishes is a wholeeee nother level of distaste.



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186,114 You better hope there weren't security cameras in that parking lot where your coworker parks



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186,113 Great! Unhappy millenia will now key your car. Not that I'm too worried,  because I don't hire them anymore...



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186,112 I count things. I count my steps. I count the number of times I chew. I count the number of cars I see on the road. I don't even know I'm doing it. It gets tedious.

PS: There are 36 words in the first paragraph... see what I mean?



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186,111 #186907: I posted last week that people needed to start paying attention to the for-profit insurance companies, not the government. I feel as though you backed me up a bit and I appreciate it. It is amazing to me how many people post and repeat the idiocy they hear and then take it as the truth. People: read and learn for yourself - stop parroting those that preach politics from the pulpit and the politicians who are far more worried about their next election than you. At the very least, watch the evening news. It won't kill you and you just might learn something.



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186,110 I know a facebook mom. She is 40 something. She has two teenage boys. What strikes me is that there isn't single picture of her kids in facebook. Tons of pics of her. Tons of posts about what party she went to and what fancy restaurant she ate at. But no mention of her kids. It came up because her kids are rowdy discipline problems in school, as if they are needing attention. And lookie there, their own mother doesn't even pay attention to them.



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186,109 Bitch at work who thinks she's my boss just had the audacity to literally screamed at me over the phone and would not give me a chance to explain my action. She "demanded" that I correct the situation without even listening to reason. She was quite literally screaming at the top of her lungs as if I was a child. No, worse than if I was a child.

So I just keyed the fuck out of her car.



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186,108 I hate 'facebook moms'.  Young mothers who spend more time blogging about their children than actually holding them or playing with them.  Writing heartfelt letters to their babies and toddlers for people to coo over, but which their children will never actually see or understand.  Stop baiting people to compliment you for being a mother and start actually BEING a mother.

Yes, I'm sure there are some moms who blog and do genuinely spend time and attention on their children.  But I know at least one who doesn't, and yet people are CONSTANTLY fawning over her and talking about how much they sympathize with a hard-working, loving mom like her, when my parents, her in-laws, are the ones who are ACTUALLY taking care of and spending time with her child while she sits on her phone, browsing the internet until her daughter does something cute to snap a picture of.



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186,107 I have a friend that I like to hang out with online.  We play games together.  He has a brother that, I think, needs better discipline.  As in, he needs a fucking asswhooping.

He's autistic and so I think the family feels sorry for him about it.  He doesn't seem severely so.  Sounded functional over the microphone.  I've got plenty of autistic friends myself and so I've begun to pick out long ago when someone's overstimulated and struggling and when someone is just using their condition to take advantage of others.

In this guy's case, I think it's akin to having a three legged dog, or a one-eyed dog.  The family feels sorry for it, so they spoil it.  It gets extra treats, or less discipline, and the dog learns it can behave a certain way because of this and end up an asshole.

I don't think this kid intends to be an asshole in that sense, but he still is anyway because he's autistic and he must have his way or else his condition hurts him I guess?  That's how it seems.  Friend and I have scheduled game time together only to have his brother show up and start shitting things up.  He will just walk right into Friend's room and start rambling onward and I have to elbow him in game to just ask his brother to leave and spend time together later.  Of course, the brother bitches and moans and complains.

I'm not asking for the brother to go fuck off and die in a ditch.  But dammit, this family needs to teach him the word 'no.'  He disrupts our games because Friend gives him attention and even complains to me about it in chats.  Dude is super intrusive.  There was some other day where Friend wanted to figure out where to eat out for dinner for himself.  Brother insisted on a specific restaurant and Friend told me that he has to listen or else Brother pitches a hissy fit for ages.  And then he wound up getting something for both himself and some other friend the Brother had over with the budget they had.  And nobody would say no to this kid.

It's getting super obnoxious lately.  I only get a limited time with Friend and it often gets zapped up by this shitty brother of his.  I want to reach through my monitor and punch this fucker in the mouth and tell him to get the fuck out and leave us alone.

But no, he's autistic, and his autism hurts him when somebody tells him no.  I'm supposed to remain understanding of that.



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186,106 My stepdaughter didn't get my anything for Mother's day. No card,  nothing.  She didn't even SAY happy mother's day and I was with her all day. She is 17, she has a job, she is just selfish.  I'm not her real mother so fuck me though, right?



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186,105 Home schooling is the way to go.



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186,104 I have a few sons. They are great. They are fair and reasonable people. But my daughter and my wife, OMG, they are impossible.

On mother's day, one son wrote a song on guitar and played it for his mom. Another planted a tulip in a pot. Very thoughtful.

My daughter, is the oldest. She is 17. She works a few hours each week in a candy store. So she has money.

She bought her mother nothing for Mother's Day.

Dad to the rescue. Seeing this coming, I had the drugstore print out a nice picture of the family. I bought a frame and put it all together as a gift my daughter could give to her mother.

Afterwards, both my daughter and my wife banded together and said the framed picture was a tacky awful present and I should have come up with something nicer.

Like what? She's not my mother. I didn't have to get her any present. I was trying to be be helpful. And they complain I went out of my way to purchase a gift? For real? No good deed goes unpunished. I look forward to divorcing this woman and never seeing her or my daughter again. They can go live with each other and make themselves miserable.



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186,103 I'm starting to feel bad for Sean Spicer



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186,102 When my kids were young, I would get over the top angry with them if and only if they purposefully hit each other.  My wife hated my anger issues.  But I never hit them, and I was very patient with them otherwise.  I think it was because my own dad would play favorites with my me and my siblings, always turning a blind eye to when the "favored" kids acted out, at the expense of the rest of us.  So when I see any of my kids hitting their brother or sister, I would go psycho at that kid.

However, now when they're arguing and I walk into the room, they stop arguing and start talking things out.  I guess going psycho had its advantages.



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186,101 I'm talking to this guy, and he's great. I can tell he's really feeling it, which is nice and all...but I'm not. I don't know what is wrong with me. He's attractive, super nice, honest, very intelligent, funny, he has it together career-wise, has his own house, is a fantastic lay. This is exactly the kind of man I should want to be with, and I recognize this. But he doesn't appeal to the freak side of me. He isn't weird enough and it's boring as fuck. It's like, I want a man who can be normal up to a point, but then I want something out there, funky, and unconventional too. I crave this. When I meet another misfit it's like a breath of fresh air to me. It gets my pulse racing and my head spinning in a billion different directions.  I like people who are quirky and offbeat. They excite me. I love people who have weird stories and a messed up sense of humor. I love people who see the world in a different way, because that's how I am. I love the kind of person who would turn to me and say "Fuck it, let's drive for two hours and sleep under the stars somewhere tonight." Predictable doesn't do it for me. At all. Passion doesn't come in a box, and it doesn't exist in neat and tidy environments either. I need a little chaos and madness. I need a muse. That is what makes me feel alive. I don't know what makes me this way, it's just who I am. I wish I could be happy with normal. It would be so much easier. I guess I'm going to have to be honest with him. He deserves that. It's not his fault. Any woman would be lucky to have him, but I'm not that woman. I feel like such a jerk.



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186,100 Post Mother's day thought.

My mom is in a nursning home with advanced Alzheimer's.  I saw her the day before Mothers Day (cause she has no idea what day it really is).  She looked like a corpse. She was sleeping and her head was back and her mouth was open in an 'o' and I looked at her and almost cried.  I looked into her face and saw death.

Fast forward to actual mothers day.  I spent a quiet day with my wife and kids and it was great.  

Throughout the day though, I couldn't shake the image of my own mom though, and had to fight off the sadness knowing that my mother will never again really have a 'mothers day' no matter how long her body is still alive.

You know you are in a strange place in your life when you are praying for your own mother's death - and its not out of anger or negative emotion.  But I hope that my mom will hurry up and die.  She would hate to see herslef like this.  This is no life, and she deserves the peace that I hope will come.



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