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187,099 I always enjoyed eating at my work's cafeteria.  Then last week I was getting a tray, and there was a bug crawling across the counter!  What kind of sick fuck brought that shit in here?  It must have been one of the new guys, because it was always clean.  I have lost my appetite for eating in the cafeteria, and only buy a few things away from that counter.



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187,098 Not all men act like perverts.  That's just a stereotype.  Women can be perverts too.  It's that time of the month, so they are desperate to get pregnant, so they hit on every man they can.  I've had women want to cheat on their husbands to be with me.



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187,097 I lived in an apartment for about 2 years.  During the last 6 months, the place became infested with cockroaches.  It got worse and worse.  No matter how clean you are, it doesn't matter when you live in an apartment.  If your neighbors are filthy, you get their filth.

I feel I moved out just in time.  A week before my departure, I caught one crawling across my bedroom rug.  They were leaving the kitchen and going elsewhere in my apartment.  Finally, I was gone, and glad to leave those roaches behind.

But there's one problem.  Roaches get everywhere, and they get into your packing boxes.  Within two weeks of moving into my first house... there was a cockroach on my fucking kitchen counter!!  It had caught a ride in my moving boxes from my infested apartment.  It ran off before I could smash the thing.

I was horrified.  There was a 50% chance it was female, and if it was pregnant, I was fucked.  My new house would be overrun by those things.  Thankfully, I went online and found a remarkably effective and simple solution that requires no chemical.  All you need is coffee grounds, a jar, and some masking tape.

Roaches are drawn to used coffee grounds.  Used coffee grounds are like crack cocaine to cockroaches.  You dump the coffee grounds in the jar, fill it with like an quarter-inch of water, and then wrap the jar in the masking tape.  Every cockroach in your house will run to the jar, crawl up the side on the tape, fall into the coffee grounds and water, and drown because they can't get back up the side.  

The next morning, there was the cockroach I had seen the day before, dead in the water.  I saw another cockroach a few years later, did the same thing with the coffee grounds, and the next morning it was in the jar, dead.  There is nothing more effective to get rid of those foul creatures than that.



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187,096 Men disgust me. I was in a lecture. I was sitting in the back of the room. Half a dozen men were sitting in front of me. At one point a pretty woman walked across the front of the room. As she passed everyone's view, these men opened their mouths and started wagging their tongues back at forth while smiling at each other. They looked like dogs. Do you get that men, you look like mangy mutts with no sense of decency. Aren't you embarrassed to be men?



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187,095 I was going to ask if we could work together again.  I had thought the vibe was good.

Then, in broad daylight today, with many kids running around you clearly were looking right at me, I smiled & waved and you just looked right through me.

I may not know much, but I know I'm not about to saddle up next to that.

Frankly, I'm not in a rush to get working with anyone again.  There is so much ego involved.  The former friendship gets muffled somehow, and suddenly it's teacher and student.

You know what, I'm all set.  See ya around like a 🍩 Toots!

Next time I'll pretend I have no idea who you are, seems to be the way you like it.



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187,094 Sometimes my depression is like a candle in the corner of the room. Other times it's like the room is on fire.

I rewatched part of "The Bridge" last night and it helped me get through an otherwise miserable series of situations today.

The scary thing is, the less attached I am, the more I identify with the jumpers. I don't want to identify with them, even out of curiosity.

Speaking of, there is the curious case of the guy who survived who realized all of his problems could be solved after it was too late.

I want to live, but I am steadily getting more and more detached from everything. It's safer not to have concerns.



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187,093 My anxiety is bad today. Can anyone please tell me how I can stop being so hateful and critical of myself? There's a voice in my head constantly tearing me down. It is so self destructive.



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187,092 Men are pigs who think only about emptying their nuts. They start wars over their nuts. If we castrated all men, the world would be a better place.



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187,091 Women are evil



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187,090 I think I'm having a food baby.
Hope it won't hurt.

35M



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187,089 Why do people indulge people who have OCD and anal retentive personalities? Just because you feel like you have to have things the way you want them, doesn't mean you should. It seems like coddling. You wouldn't tell someone with depression to go ahead and stay in bed all day since they feel like they can't move, right?



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187,088 Just wait til she takes her selfishness to the Internet....
You'll forget about everything else.



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187,087 Typical. I take my wife and son out for Chinese food. When the waitress puts the order on the table, my son takes a serving spoon and stirs up the cold sesame noodles. The noodles are on bottom, the sauce is on top, so he stirs them.

I take a serving spoon and sir up the szechuan dumplings. Same sort of thing, dumplings on bottom, sauce on top, so I stir them.

My wife take a serving spoon and starts loading her plate. We aren't even finished stirring them, but she's jamming her spoon in there to get some. See what happens? My son and I do what is good for all. My wife, she does what is good for herself.

This seems petty. But this is what she is like with everything all the time. She does whatever is best for her. No one else matters. If we are watching a tv show, my wife will come in and change the channel. She'll never get the mail from the mailbox, she leaves it for everyone else. She'll never pay a bill, I have to do it. She'll never feed the dog. She'll only answer the phone after checking the caller ID to make sure it is for her. If it is for me or our son, she won't pick it up. If she spills coffee on the floor, she'll leave it there. I do all the laundry. When I see the hamper is full, I do a load. If my wife needs clean clothes and I haven't yet gotten to the laundry, she'll pick her things out of the hamper and put only her items in the washing machine. You've never met a woman as self centered as my wife.



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187,086 I don't want to live with this hatred in my heart. I feel like it poisons me. No one sees how I seethe with anger and hatred towards him and the effect being with him still has on me.

Two years ago I moved in with the guy I was dating at the time. Shortly after getting a job and settling in, I realized the apartment was infested with cockroaches. I'd never even seen a cockroach. They terrified me. They're dirty and spread disease. This horrified me. They began spreading from the kitchen to the rest of the house. I became paranoid and anxious. It felt like they were everywhere. I wouldn't even cook food in the kitchen anymore. I bought lean cuisines and plastic flatware and that was my diet for two months.

My ex didn't care. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't a big deal. Just wash off your plates before you use them, he thought. His apathy to the infestation and the fact that I was slowly being to lose my sanity drove me over the edge. I had a nervous breakdown and he didn't care. I got a personal loan from the bank and moved out of that place in January 2016. I was rid of him forever.

But I wasn't rid of the paranoia. I moved 4 hours away into my own place, and I still find myself being hypervigilant. Whenever I see something out of the corner of my eye that appears to be moving, I'll think it's a roach and a flash of panic runs through me. When I walk into the kitchen for a glass of water in the middle of the night, i turn on the light and stop  before I walk into the kitchen. I scan the counters for anything crawling away. I saw a couple of them at different times that got in from the crack under my screen door, and all the fear came rushing back. I have a can of raid now that kills them quite fast.

When does it stop? When does this fear stop?? Every time I have a reaction to something I think might be a roach, I become angry when the fear subsides. Even though I'm rid of him, there's this one thing that still follows and affects me and reminds me of that horrible time. Besides this, I've put everything else about that relationship in the past. I don't want to be angry and hateful, but it's hard...it is so hard.



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187,085 I've realized you're toxic.  I will do better.



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187,084 Not Rape, Not death of a loved one, Not abuse, Not physical harm, Not Cancer, None of these hurts you more than deception and betrayal from someone you love.
I know.. I've experienced them all.

A wayward spouse has no idea of the damage they do with their selfish behavior.



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187,083 Yesterday, all of a sudden, she hugged me and said, "I love you. I'm sorry it's so random but I forgot you're the type of person that needs to hear it."  

I love her sooooo much!!! :D



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187,082 I'm an American, and I hate this fucking country so much. We try to act like we're better than everyone else, so "advanced" and "equal" while only a tiny fraction of the country actually HAS that experience.

We're a fucking land mass of posers. We focus on composing false images of ourselves for the public online, as if that were important. Our laws are merely pretenses to those in power. Even our food is fucking artificial!! And not GMO's, I'm talking high fructose corn syrup, red dye #40, yellow dye #5, and the plethora of processed garbage we push out in massive quantities.  

I can't wait until I can leave. I'm definitely not raising my kids in this mess.



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187,081 Hey Dems. You 0 for 5.  Ever think the folks don't like the dog food your selling ?



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187,080 deleted



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187,079 I am just so tired of everyone's bullshit.



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187,078 I'm lonely, I have only a few friends, no one close. My husband died not long ago, I miss him. I'm lonely.



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187,077 I miss you Again and Again.   I hope you're having the time of your life.  

I dreamed I was holding you close not Tmorrow, right now.   Really love you.



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187,076 turn ponies on for the kids(RISING ACTION FALLING ACTION ANOTHER DOLPHIN IS OKAY!!!) it's time to buy weed and take selfies! with which you could have ordered older better art taking more focus and more interesting like Rescuer's Down Under / Rescuers / Neverending Story / Dancer in the Dark(Bjork) / Pinnochio / Recess / Arthur / ....



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187,075 the most enjoyable experience is where all people involved feel supported and on the same team.. energies can cause people to compete or put walls up.. we need to mediate and acknowledge dignity and communicate from the heart.. dominance is an energy that is communicated in all exchanges in some form or another.. defiance or denial is not a trait to be proud of.. I am working on myself and I will make things work



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187,074 First appointment with my new psychiatrist today. About 10 minutes ago I read a few yelp reviews about the doctor that have now made me uneasy and nervous. I'll go to the appointment so I can get refills of my meds, but if I have a bad feeling I'll look for a different doctor. I am so sick of apathetic doctors.



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187,073 Today is my birthday. I feel sad right now. Lonely. I wish I didn't know it was my birthday.



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187,072 introverted may need push to fly (+room to communicate) (not thrown into water to swim) while extroverted may need place to land or apply energy .. anxiety is a result of awareness of neglectful abusive behaviour .. which can be turned into a learning experience .. no excuses .. mediate within .. paranoia is heightened awareness of the interpretation "between danger and beauty" .. rebalance the roles of the gatekeeping beauty with...  encouragement rather than dominance is best ... choose the good toolbox.. walk the line and rebalance and maintain a positive role..



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187,071 Chris Rock keeps warning men that their wives' affairs are not with strangers but with someone he sees several times/week. Chris Rock needs to shut his mouth.



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187,070 I sound like a total retard whenever I open my mouth around him because I have a huge, huge crush on him. So awkward.



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187,069 I hope you don't feel that things are strange between us.

I do really value and appreciate you and our friendship.

I'm not always so good with showing such things though.



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187,068 Threesomes are great because the two women in it try to compete against each other.



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187,067 I lurk on my friends Tumblr page, it obvious she is not happy with recent life altering decisions she has made like cheating on her husband twice...sad to see her suffering. Chin up Catherine, it will get better once you stop and take some time to find what you really want and not hop from bed to bed and into a submissive relationship so quickly.



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187,066 Am missing my work husband. Was meant to see him tonight, but didn't get to, as I'm sick :-(



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187,065 I had a threesome this weekend, which was pretty hot...it was me (female), a sexy and super nice guy I met recently, and my best friend. The bestie and I have done similar things before now and then previously just for fun. What I don't like is I see a pattern of when it does happen she always makes a big deal about it later as if the guy was soooo into her, she doesn't really like females sexually, she was too drunk and/or blacked out (which I know this time was a straight lie). She feels bad because it was a guy who is "friends" with another guy she really likes a lot who doesn't want a relationship but continues to date her. She thinks it's o.k. to blame me that I don't stop her from doing shit. I've told her before it is not my responsibility to tell her what to do. I asked her 100 times throughout the night if she was o.k. with this or that because that's how sex works and I respect her own decision. Sometimes I think she does it to try to prove a point, that she's competitive and wants to make sure that she is just as desirable as me, steal the show. Well, I've learned that I'm done with doing shit like that with her because she's such an attention whore and just makes everything about her. She knew I was attracted to him, she already has a boyfriend, why the fuck get in the middle of that? And then try to make me feel bad about it later. I'm starting to think she's just a shitty friend. Why can't people just have a good time and not get all conceited, self-absorbed, jealous, etc. for fuck's sake it's just sex. Neither of us are married. We've talked about it multiple times that we're both o.k. with stuff like that happening now and then, but that we are strictly friends and confirmed that we both feel that way so I don't understand what the problem is. I think I'm most confused about why she didn't just let me have a good time with the guy on my own if she was just going to regret it and fuck up her current relationship? Knowing there's a good chance he would find out? It just makes me think this is about something deeper with her competitiveness with me, and it bothers me.



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187,064 It's obviously a secret to "Dr Salami" how "can't take it seriously" his name sounds to a Western audience.



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187,062 That kid who was sent to North Korea was a spy for the United States. He was collecting the posters and propoganda for the United States government. They sent him over there due to the fact that he is young and no one would suspect him. Look at the camera footage of him "tearing the poster off the wall," as they said. He gently rips it off, and begins folding it to put it away. Once he was caught by North Korea they didn't want him to talk so they put him in a coma and he was in it for over a year. Then they said he should be in America because we could take better care of him and they don't have the equipment to save him... and he dies 3 days later in the United States... Now his family doesn't want an autopsy either even though we have no idea how ended up in that position in the first place? North Korea may have initially put him in the coma, but The United States didn't want him to squeal so they put an end to his life. There are way too many coincidences and things that just don't add up.



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187,061 Just so you know Kevin, any of the sweet, "I miss you posts" or similar are not from me...you can trust me because I'm not the liar or cheater! Finding out about your closet cocksucking fetish and taking it up the rear was enough to get over you FAST. I hope you and "Sydney", "Ram" Tam, or whatever girl or girl with a dick you are screwing can finally come out of the closet and quit lying to unsuspecting women. Your herpes was the least of the things you should be admitting. I wonder how many other people you have told to come on here?



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187,060 Mental illnesses come from vitamin mineral etc deficiencies and after adjusting to natural balance of those coming back you would still have "mental illness" or personality but more in control of it .. Would be better if naturopathy were harnessed by doctors doing blood tests they do nothing with like organize diet mineral vitamin therapy to address the biochemical imbalance. Our minds direct the balance of chemicals we are an imbalance is just a balance how one balances directs themself



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187,059 I find it hysterical when people always assume that all illegals are from Mexico or another Spanish speaking country. A few days ago I was sitting on a red light when suddenly I heard a loud bump , I got out of my car and this old white lady came out to me saying she was sorry for hitting my car , when I ask her for her information she almost started crying and told me she didn't have a license because she was still waiting for her green card but not to worry her son will take care of the damage done to my car. I decided not to make a police report because I felt bad for her knowing she would probably lose her chance of getting her green card due to driving without a license and probably was going to be reported back to Europe .  Now her son is not happy with the estimate I was given at the body shop to repair my car , seriously what an entitle person I didn't cause the accident it's not my fault they charged so much just to fix a bumper and I was trying to be nice to the old lady .



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187,058 Fuck the lottery. I wish my time being alive would go to someone more deserving. Someone who gave a fuck.



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187,057 No matter how bad you think you have it or how badly you want to die just remember....

You've already won the biggest lottery in the Universe. The odds of you being alive are at the limit of comprehension.

Never forget that.



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187,056 Oh, I wish I would just die already.  I hate life.  I hate it.



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187,055 Who in the actual fuck decides to go on a tour in North Korea, and as an American citizen?! Who would think this is a good idea? I'm not saying anyone deserves to die, but come on. We all know what North Korea is all about. No one should be going there as a tourist, and you damn well should not be acting a fool or putting yourself in compromising situations. Those fuckers will arrest you for merely folding an image of Kim Jong Fat Boy or taking pictures of the rear ends of the statues of the Kim leaders. Common sense...what happened to it with this otherwise seemingly smart young man?? I'm genuinely confused that so few people are bringing up this point. I'm sad that he died, but he must have known what he was possibly getting into going to that place. This makes my pessimism for the human race deepen just a little more.



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187,054 Good to know it's illegal



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187,053 Anybody who shares naked photos of their ex without their consent is sick.. it's wrong. That's why it's illegal. Js



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187,052 I want my wife to watch me suck on a cock. I want her to see the guy moan and shoot his load in my mouth. Then I want to fuck him in the ass with my wife holding my balls. I want her to feel me ejaculate in him.



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187,051 I was diagnosed with depression in 1999, then bipolar disorder in 2012. All these years I wrestled with the pills: the SSRI's, the MAOI's, the mood stabilizers, the anti-anxiety meds. Never really feeling like myself while I was taking them. Always looking for the right dosage. And the side effects. Oh my god, the side effects. The tremors and headaches, loss of appetite, brain fog, not being able to cum and feeling dead inside. After 16 years of it, I couldn't do it anymore so I tapered off all my meds while going to accupuncture and talk therapy and I am proud to say that I am managing it for almost 2 years now without the meds, all naturally. No, I'm not sniffing lemon oil for my anxiety but I do smoke a nice indica instead of taking a Xanax. I meditate. I cut back on sugar and it made a big difference in how I feel overall. Exercising has helped significantly with my depression. There are some days I just can't do it but  once I started to see progress, there are less of them. I just want people to know there are alternative methods to diseases your doctor doesn't tell you about (or know about) if you are willing to seek out the right ones for you and follow through with your plan.



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187,050 I was dating this woman, she cheated on me so I ended it.  Was going through my emails when I found a bunch of nudes she had emailed me....

Not sharing them as that would be illegal but I will keep them as insurance just in case



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187,049 I don't understand how privileged people in the United States think they are underprivileged.  They got all this money, nice clothes, can go out for beers, then complain about how the United States is a bad place to live.  They support dictatorships like North Korea, and get offended when anybody criticizes North Korea.  These privileged Americans are outraged about how we are "harassing" North Korea and how America is evil.  Delusional.

America is not a perfect place, and needs it's problems fixed, but I'd rather live in America.  North Korea is so impoverished and pretends to not be, people are oppressed and terrorized with imprisonment and execution if they don't keep up the illusion and say the right things, and constantly threatens other countries with nukes.

I'm not patriotic in any way, but I'd rather live in America over places like North Korea any day.



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187,048 This anxiety is fraying my goddamned nerves! It comes out as irritation, which of course gets worse when people call me out on having an attitude. Who the fuck ever says, "Oh, I'm having an attitude? I better fix myself!" GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

I know I'm being selfish and thinking only about my own feelings but FUCK people telling me how my face looks. It literally does nothing but make it worse, for EVERYONE. If you can tell I'm being fucking moody then FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME.

Oh, but we all want our bundle of joy back! Fuck you!



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187,047 The people I know who insist on essential oils over medical science annoy the shit out of me. Someone told me lemon balm oil will treat my anxiety and bipolar disorder. Right. I'll stick with the medications my doctor prescribed me that have been extremely effective in controlling my symptoms. Essential oils might be useful for aromatherapy if you enjoy the scent and for minor skin issues, but if you think I'm going to stop my medications to treat disorders as complex and bipolar disorder, anxiety, and ADHD, then you're fucking high.

And I'm going to snap if one more person tells me to rub some fucking black pepper oil on an area of my body that gives me trouble from time to time due to a severe injury where I tore a group of muscles. Are you kidding me?? It's just as annoying as people who tell me to go to the chiropractor.

But of course, if I tell anyone this who happens to be in the essential oil/homeopathy crowd, they tell me I'm ignorant and that pharmaceutical medications are poison and that nature provides a cure for everything...



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187,046 There kid photographers have instant success because they're using a camera worth 2k and prime lens glass over $300+... my camera is literally a decade old and $200 and falling apart and I never had the money for good glass, which makes all of the difference. It's just not fair that they get success because they have stuff handed to them :/ their parents pay for around the world trips for them to take pictures.

At this rate I'm never going to be a successful photographer because I can't compete with the money these little kids are handed.



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187,045 021, RUN, don't walk, away from this guy. This is where abuse starts. I know because I've been there. First comes the criticism, then comes the verbal abuse then the psychological abuse, then the physical abuse. This guy is no good. Get out while you still can.



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187,044 Why does anybody take a trip to North Korea in the first place, especially when you're an American?  You're being constantly watched.  They routinely murder their own people.  Otto Warmbier committed a stupid act by trying to steal a cheap propaganda poster he could have easily bought somewhere.  It just showed how much of a na´ve kid he was.  In the US, nobody would have cared.  In North Korea, it was worse than a death sentence.

Somebody here should have warned him.  His mom and dad should have told him not to go.  Somebody should have sat down with the kid and drilled it into his head about what was going to happen if he stepped out of line.  It was like going cliff scaling with no prior experience.  Dumb, dumb thing to do that could have been prevented.



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187,043 I'd put that jackass just a few notches above the affluenza turd.  Why the hell are you going to a country that we're still officially at war with?  Some entitled piece of crap thought he'd be a smart ass and play games with a hostile government.   Because of that you wanna put boots on the ground and start up a war?  You ever serve?  Your kids in the military?  You actually expect my family to fight and possibly die because of some asshat?  What the fuck do you do when you run out of butter?  Blame Obama then make your neighbor run to the grocery store for you?

To anybody spending money going to this country, fuck you and you deserve whatever happens to you.  I'd equate it as spending money in 1943 to take a trip to visit Auschwitz.



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187,042 He is still in my mind after all of these years. What I would not do to be able to see his face again.  Nobody has ever came close to him. The intimacy, the passion was so intense as if we were melded as one.



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187,041 The North Koreans killed Otto Warmbier. They tortured him and now he is dead. All because he was a kid and took a poster. Obama did nothing. NOTHING. We need Trump to step in. Enough with the North Korean dictator. The world needs to come together and end this before the whacko gets his hands on missiles capable of reaching the USA. Trump, you need to act on this. He was just a kid and he was murdered.



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187,040 When I was still married, my wife once turned to me and said, "So I cheated on you. Who cares. You need to get over it."

Yeah, I got over it. I divorced her. It makes me laugh now when I think of what an awful person she is. She cheated and I needed to get over it? Some people are so self centered.



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187,039 I hate feeling anxious all the time.  I can't function in life.



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187,038 I slept with a guy once who was very thin and bony. Not his fault; his metabolism was through the roof. His hips were so bony that the insides of my thighs were bruised for several days after 😳 I'll stick with men who are a little bit on the heavier side. Those bruises really hurt!



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187,037 If people read auras or something they often like to be dramatic about it or something everyone has a darkness to deal with and a light too and attractive or intimidating even by good nature that challenges others is easy to pick at or try to belittle. Don't get cocky like me but know that we all as a species are haunted by the darkness of Nature fighting back or trying to use us as it's voice. People who ignore the bigger picture it's easier for them to conspire or try to aggravate those with dignity or peace of mind. It's real the you you know not what fancy bigoted psychics asking for pay online or even without pay will try to say and they often say similar things to everyone because they are more sensitive to one type of reality and we all share parallel realities. I hope you think for yourself and maybe get oracle cards or something cuz u don't need the input of certain ppl plus worrying manifests bad things you're ok and good luck



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187,036 I posted an ad looking for a new submissive friend, I got a response from my current sub, guess it's not working out for either of us.  I'm going to enjoy the next few sessions very much, taking lots of pictures to remind me of her once we end it.



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187,035 Man, FUCK East Boston! That city is filled with nothing but scheming politicians, civic group leaders ready to kiss their asses for money and approval, old fucking Italians who think people care their family has lived here for 100 years, and Spanish people. The Spanish folks are alright though. Everyone but the immigrants try to act so pretentious when this neighborhood is a piece of shit.



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187,034 Why are you so angry all the time? You're a terrible friend. I can't imagine how bad it is for the people who work for you.



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187,033 i keep having sexual dreams about one of my professors and it's reached a point where my subconscious desires have come to the forefront of my mind. i would give anything to have him fuck me at some point this summer.



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187,032 I jerked off last night and didn't feel like getting up to wash off, and I didn't want to leave it on the back of my hand because it would get on the blanket and after a while it smells bad, so I licked my hand and ate my cum.



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187,031 I just boarded a flight, and my neighbor is a beautiful man. I would give anything to stroke his cock for the duration of this flight.



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187,030 Why do people generalize and think in extremes? The world is far too complex for one idea to fit everyone. People just like to think they know everything, or that they know best



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187,029 I love older men. I find men in their 50's and early 60's to be the most sexy and interesting.



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187,028 Other people have always teased me for my preference, but I am way more attracted to heavier men. I've been with skinny and "normal" sized guys before, but there's something about the bigger dudes that makes me feel more safe and protected. When we cuddle, it's the absolute best. Give me bellies and bear hugs any day!



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187,027 It's weird, I would hear plants and flowers are alive.  I would think okay, that means they grow and die, but not in the sense of beings.  Then they say that plants thrive more when you talk to them, and flowers.  And it's true, also when they're with other flowers, they can perk right up.  I've seen it.  So if talking to them makes them grow nicer, there has to be more to this "they're alive" thing.  I started wondering, do they maybe have a soul?  Sounds crazy, but if they perk up when you talk to them and show them more "love" um maybe...



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187,026 I feel strange about it but it was good as a 53 year old man to have a 20 year old girl hit on me. I'm still handsome.



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187,025 I might be alone in this opinion, but men who are thin don't look as "manly" to me.  Men with meat on their bones look more manly.

f/32



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187,024 I love you Pam 💕 Thank you for being in my life. It feels like real love this time.



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187,023 Sometimes, when I take shrooms or acid, I forget who I am.

It's a nice feeling. My body feels foreign and my entity feels fastened to it, for the time being. I look at my face and remember my parents, whose genes were smashed together to make me. My core memories flash through my mind, and I remember my life, but I don't feel the weight of the past.

Yesterday I felt the truth of how temporary this body is.  I'm okay with it, because of all the time periods this short human life could have been dumped into, this was the one.

Thinking that way, it's easier to ride out my existence.



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187,022 I posted an ad looking for a new submissive friend, I got a response from my current sub, guess it's not working out for either of us.  I'm going to enjoy the next few sessions very much, taking lots of pictures to remind me of her once we end it.



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187,021 I love my boyfriend. He's awesome and loves me dearly. But man, he has one habit that's driving me insane that I'm trying to think of a way to address with him that doesn't come off as me attacking him. I have got to get this off my chest so I can feel prepared to have a talk with him about it.

I hate it so fucking much that he has to criticize things I like that he doesn't like. He can't just say "It's not thing" or " I prefer ____ instead." He has to say "Gross!" or "Ewww!" or "Blech!!" He hates my favorite grocery store and has to remind me all the time of how "disgusting" it is. (Sorry, but I think it's stupid to pay more at another store for the same damn product.) He has to say something along the lines of "Gross, why would you go there??" when I get lunch from my favorite restaurant. He has to express disgust at some of the music I like. He acts like a store I occasionally shop for clothes at is a sewage pond with slime coming out of the walls (which is funny because some of the clothes I have that he likes on me are from that store! Just don't tell him that! XD ) Anyway, I think I've more than made my point now.

Like, is this necessary?? Can't he just politely disagree or maybe just not say anything at all? It's annoying the shit out of me. It kind of feels like it's a criticism of me by extension. It makes me feel like my preferences for the things he finds "gross" or detestable mean that I'm gross too. Maybe that's not rational, but it's still very frustrating to talk about something I like and receive an emphatic "Gross!/Ew!/That place is disgusting!" in return.

It's to the point where I'm done laughing it off and saying "I know" and to the point where I just want to say "I guess I'm just a gross person, then." What the fuck does he want me to respond with to his criticism?? "You know what? You're right. No more [insert thing he thinks is gross here] for me!" I think his belief that essential oils/homeopathy as effective medicine is beyond ridiculous and that an herb cannot take the place of his medication for a health condition, but you don't see me talking shit...

Other than this thing that grinds my gears, he is a wonderful person to be with and treats me very well. Hopefully after I talk to him about it, he'll knock it off...



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187,020 I hope you had a nice time watching the tv :-)

Did I mention that my tv is big with a wide screen?

Everyone that I've had over to watch it really enjoys the size.

Do you like a wide screen?

I think one of the shows coming up on tv is about dogs!!!!



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187,019 I've actually had a break from reading my book and have watched some TV.

We'll see if it falls back into the cycle though and I'm back to reading again.



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187,018 True story. I should start by saying I'm not some religious person, not a tree hugger, not escaped from the mental ward. I'm a normal everyday white collar responsible type of guy.

I was cutting down a tree in my yard. It was a maple tree. It was planted 15 years ago in my front yard. Seemed like a good idea at that time. But the tree grew too large and started to block the sun from getting to the grass. So I decided to cut it down.

I don't own a chain saw. But I do have a reciprocating saw. That's a long bladed saw that basically cuts through anything, although it takes a while. That's what happened with the tree. The diameter of the trunk was about 12 inches. Cutting even halfway through took about 10 minutes. That's when it happened, when I hit the center core of the tree.

A grayish ball of a cloud. It was about two inches across. It came out of the cut made by the saw. It came out and just kind of floated there in front of me. It was amorphous, almost like a giant amoeba, but with no set boundaries. It was like a mist. It was twisting and churning. It just floated there, like a foot in front of me, for 10 seconds, as if it was looking around and deciding what to do. Then it darted off towards the sky. I've never encountered anything like it.

As a rational man, I have no explanation. But if I put everything I think I know to the side, then part of me believes it was some kind of entity living in the tree. The soul of the tree? Sounds crazy right? But it was there and I saw it and I'm beginning to wonder if there is more to life and science than what we currently know.



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187,017 Looking at things from all angles. See things in your dimension. Swim inside your dreams.

The man came today and told me I wasn't allowed to sing. I sang my heart's content in a similar universe. I sang silently in my heart.

People hear you. I hear you.



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187,016 i miss you... still



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187,015 I read this site for hints on what people I care about or strangers with heart might have to say or be going through. If anyone comes here to say things "about" me .. their problem. I remind people that I'm truthful and care about those I've hurt. I also have a lot of disdain for certain people who could have helped me in very simple ways like severing a connection or keeping paintings safe or simply not doing the opposite. I have projects on the way and I hope things can work out. I do want to be normal and internalized. Right before deleting Facebook a good friend told me they understand how some people need to carry their thoughts vocally and she sees how weed was "good for me" and my art. I think people can change and no one wants to have to be like that and I am extremely grateful for a shot to overcome my habits. I made things harder for myself and those around me and I really want to be quiet. I am so embarassed and feel misunderstood yet grateful I am not yet banished. I also haven't eaten anything besides a few handfuls of trail mix today. Does anyone have like a boiled egg or maybe a cabbage?



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187,014 I wonder what tv channel would be our favourite to watch together.

All the normal popular ones will be fun to watch.

One that I really want to watch with you I forget the name, something with two numbers in the title?

I wonder how your book is going.....



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187,013 Mine is a family of loners. When we fill a room, it feels lonelier.



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187,012 I've noticed people look at me too, but honestly, men look at everything so I would just chalk it up to that.  And older women approach me sometimes and compliment me, but recently a younger girl, teens or 20's just stopped and looked at me.  She was middle eastern, I look middle eastern, I notice sometimes the women look at me like they think i'm one of theirs but i'm not lol, so I assumed I looked like someone she knew?  But I said "what happened?" and she said "nothing."  She was literally walking past me and stopped and just stayed looking.  That was weird.  Lately, some men will walk up close in my personal space and stay looking at my face and eyes, but they're the kinda evil looking ones, like I don't get a good feeling about them.  Where I live, there's a block where there are more homeless people now, since the beginning of the year, and what i've seen is some of them are mental or loud, or drunk in the day.  This is just what it is. This one passed me looking straight at me up close, didn't like his eyes or vibe.  Another one I see sometimes, he looks weird in his eyes too, very aggressive looking. And there's another one I havent seen in months, older, drunk in the middle of the day, who would pick me out and be walking towards me all loud, i do have a big butt, so i just figure the cruder of the men like that.  But i'm starting to wonder...but, kids like me.  I'll be on the train, someone's little kid or baby will smile at me, and laugh.  So that has to be good, because they know.  They sense things.  The other day a little kid looked at me and smiled and said "hi" and something after, but I had earphones in.  They try to catch my eye and smile.  Babies like me too.  So I'm thinking, maybe it's just weird men?  Hopefully?  And the girl, maybe because i look like someone she knows?



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187,011 I don't know...I'm 35 and was in one relationship for 6 years and another for 9.  My ex was abusive, I stayed with him too long.  So if i'm not married by 40, that doesn't make me crazy... i just spend too long with the wrong guys, thinking my love will make things better.  Time goes so fast, I could totally see not being married by 40, because of long term relationships that went nowhere.  To be thrust out into the dating world at this point is crazy...the whole game has changed.  Instagram, tinder, bla bla bla, guys don't really wanna settle down.



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187,010 Hoo-Ray!  My favorite time of day: time to masturbate!



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187,009 Something I hate about myself is how indulgent I am. I always have to have what I want. I get irritated when I don't. I want this, I want that, I have to have it. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I buy all my things with my own money and never to the detriment of others. I annoy myself so much. I need to learn to do without every giving in to every single little thing I want. It's materialistic and doesn't make me feel good about myself. I need to change.



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187,008 000: YES. When I was 24 I was head over heels for a guy I was dating and laughed it off when he said all his past relationships went down in flames and that his exes were all crazy. I thought that surely this wouldn't happen with us as he always told me I was different than they were. I should have ran for the hills and ended there. He turned out to be a gaslighting sociopath, and of course I became another "crazy" ex. I'm embarrassed to admit this to people...they always have something to fucking say about things like that like "I can't believe you didn't see that as a red flag!" or "Why did you stay and not leave?!" Like, yeah, you think I don't know that now? I still feel like a bit of a fool, but what's done is done. I hope no one else makes the mistake I did...



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187,007 I have to wonder about myself - because of the women I've dated or were interested in - if something's wrong with me.

Research shows that 20% of women who reach age 40 have never been married.

About 60% of the women I ever dated or were interested in are still not married in their 40s.

Obviously, there's something about me that's attracted to... closet lesbians?



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187,006 Actually, if the common denominator in all your breakups are you, then yeah you are the problem. Most men of class and decency don't refer to women in those terms.



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187,005 you know you can't fool me, i been lovin you too long.



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187,004 @187000 - Most women are crazy. This is not a surprise to anyone, except maybe women. Because they're crazy.



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187,003 Sometimes reading a book can be more than enjoyable.



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187,002 000: YES. When I was 24 I was head over heels for a guy I was dating and laughed it off when he said all his past relationships went down in flames and that his exes were all crazy. I thought that surely this wouldn't happen with us as he always told me I was different than they were. I should have ran for the hills and ended there. He turned out to be a gaslighting sociopath, and of course I became another "crazy" ex. I'm embarrassed to admit this to people...they always have something to fucking say about things like that like "I can't believe you didn't see that as a red flag!" or "Why did you stay and not leave?!" Like, yeah, you think I don't know that now? I still feel like a bit of a fool, but what's done is done. I hope no one else makes the mistake I did...



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187,001 I really feel like watching some tv but will have to settle for reading a book instead.



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187,000 Him:  "all my ex girlfriends are crazy"
What he really means: "I'm a big piece of shit. don't date me. You'll be next on the list"

I don't know why this is a secret to people...



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