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188,999 A lot of people like shopping from home because aggressive drivers make shopping so unpleasant. I'm one of them. Fewer people driving may eventually lower gas prices, so there's an upside...



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188,998 I'm not in love with him anymore, but I don't want him out of my life either. I hope the feeling comes back. If I left him, it would destroy him.



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188,997 994 - perhaps your daughter realized that the popular kids are not her true friends after all, but shallow and vapid. Your should be proud of her for choosing her friends by their character, not their status in the social strata of school.



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188,996 994: because maybe her new friends are really sweet girls and the popular girls are assholes?  

Leave her be.



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188,995 It's a secret so don't  tell anyone.  The stories about money for hurricane victims going for abortions don't pass the smell test. I looked at the sources for these stories and they seemed all to come from "Christian" and right-wing sources.  I would take take these stories with a grain of salt.  They make it sound as if all the women in the hurricane areas are looking for abortions and using people's charity for that purpose.  Nonsense. These stories sound fishy. Be skeptical.



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188,994 To the trumpsters burning your MAGA hats: thank you. You just made my day. I enjoyed seeing your bubble burst.



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188,993 I can't tell anyone else this, and it seems petty, but my daughter who just started 7th grade, is falling in with friends who will never be popular. In elementary school She used to be friends with all of the girls who are now the popular group, I mean, BEST FRIENDS, but as shes gotten older she's made friends with these few other girls who will never have any hope of being popular. I was really hoping shed stay in the popular group so that she might have a shot at maybe homecoming court, who's who or something of the like when she gets to high school. Things I never was... As it stands now though, she wont be any of that. This group of friends she has now are sweet girls, but, why she'd want to leave the popular group to get all buddy buddy with an unpopular group, I'll never know.



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188,992 985- You should probably tell that to your dates beforehand so they can reject you in advance and you won't have to waste her time (or yours) sitting through some awkward dinner that won't go anywhere.



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188,991 985- so charming.  Please tell us your age?



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188,990 Some of the money you donate to hurricane victims is being used to fund free abortions for women caught up in the storm areas. Silly me, I thought all the money would be used for for food, clothing and shelter.

Only in America....



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188,989 988, I hear you!  I lived in Colo Springs a few years back and absolutely despised it.  The people sucked, were not friendly, and every time I was on a plane returning there, you could feel when you crossed into the dumbass zone.  Never again.   I hope things get better or you can get out of there soon- it is no way to live.  Sending you hugs.



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188,988 Doing oral on a guy is not the same as cheating. Cheating is when you fuck the guy, Oral is like having a friendly convo with the guy at a party. It's no big deal. Jeez I'm learning my bf is an insane controlling psycho.



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188,987 Denver, Colorado. I live here. I'm a woman, an entrepreneur, fairly attractive, and unhappier than I thought anyone could ever be. The people here suck beyond description. I've been stood up for so many dates, ripped off at work, stolen from, manipulated by almost every man I've crossed paths with, and hady wallet stolen.  Colorado absolutely has refused to grant me a replacement ID. If you are considering coming here to improve your life, take it from me. This place is the absolute worst choice I have ever made in my life. 3 years ago I was happy. I want to die now. Don't do what I did. Go anywhere but here.



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188,986 So now Toys 'R Us is filing for bankruptcy. A sweet childhood memory, the excitement of going to a big toy store (both from my own childhood and as a parent) will no longer exist by the time I have grandchildren.

All because of companies like Amazon that allow people to "shop from the comfort of their home" and avoid the craziness of brick-and-mortar stores. You know what this means to me? People are fucking lazy. They should get their fat asses away from the computer and get some damn exercise by going to an actual store. People not leaving their homes anymore unless they absolutely have to is why we have so many problems. They have so little contact with the outside world that they don't know how to act.

One of these big online stores completely screwed my former neighbor. His online business exploded, allowing him to quit his job and build his dream home. The big company noticed his sales volume and began purchasing his product (which had a patent pending) directly from his supplier and selling it for less. Six months after moving his family into their gorgeous home, he filed for bankruptcy and put the house on the market.

Fuck these big companies and the lazy asses who use them.



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188,985 My mother and I have figured out that my deceased father worked for the mafia.  We know that he didn't go into the job knowing that it was a front but he wound up cooking the books. He got a lucrative offer so we moved across  country and for 5 years we lived high on the hog.  It got so good that a major company noticed their "profitability" and purchased them.  My father somehow kept up the deception throughout the 2 year transition.

So we move again an within 1 year the major company figures out they purchased a dud.   I remember it like it was yesterday.  They figured it out, fired him immediately and severely demoted the two bean counters they sent to oversee the purchase.  

My father was blacklisted in the industry but found a niche with smart but ignorant tech nerds.  We came out alright in the end.



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188,984 As I see it, older women- 40+ better snake charm the dick outta my fucking pants on the first date.   I'm not forking out for dinner for some lame-ass old divorced bitch with kids or some throwaway spinster for a smile and a handshake.

If there's a 2nd date, a trifecta of your mouth, twat, anus better be on the menu otherwise, you're history- go get a dog and grow old early.



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188,983 No one in their right mind is going to spend an entire night alone in a public venue having a blind date with herself.  Not one sane woman in the world would do this.  This is like a serial killer telling his next victim  to meet him in a secluded, dark alley at midnight.  Sometimes, insanity takes on a wild twist and then becomes a gross parody of itself.



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188,982 Dear friend: I don't know why it bothers you so much that one person from your friends on Snapchat rarely views your snaps. We are in our late twenties. You need to cool it. I can't stand looking at your stupid fucking snaps of your selfies with your boobs taking up half the snap and your general, all-around attention-seeking behavior. It's annoying. Then, you whine about all the men who YOU added to YOUR friends who constantly message you with disgusting propositions. While you might be an attention seeker, you're not dumb. You know a fuckboy when you see one. You just want male attention. Since I am not a male or interested sexually in women (and neither are you), I'm going to go ahead and pass on viewing your snaps because I assume they're not REALLY intended for me ;)



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188,981 I used to watch basketball.  The Celtics, Kevin McHale. Larry Bird, ahh man, what a dream team.

I really can't relate anymore.   It's not that basketball has become Black-skit-ball as probably some people think.  It just doesn't seem real to me anymore.

I'd get more outta watching a pick-up game.



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188,980 "You can stick it in me if you want, but I'm going to sleep."

My wife is the opposite of sexy.



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188,979 My child is smart and gets very good grades. But she is selfish. I'd rather it be the other way round where she is very kind and gets okay grades.



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188,978 When I was a kid there was a kid up the road I would play with. He was a couple years older than me. We went into the woods, he showed me his dick and I showed him my vag. I remember telling him it was ugly (what a bitch I was at 4) I think I even made a face. He said mine looked like a taco and we laughed our asses off. To this day when a man refers to pussy as a meat taco I laugh my ass off and think of that kid.

Good eye, good eye.  Way to call it!



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188,977 I forgot to pick my kid up from school today. Oops.



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188,976 I am so lonely. I just grasp for attention. It's sad. It's pathetic.



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188,975 ESPN is a failing business that would rather criticize Trump than offend black racists that watch the crappy sports on their channel. I cancelled cable and will never pay for that crap again



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188,974 After discovering a male can have an orgasm from anal, I decided to try and I'm glad I did.  It's the best and strongest orgasm and it last a lot longer than cock only stimulation.  I feel like such a dirty slut after cumming from anal, I love it.  If you're reading this, thinking it's gross, how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it before.
32 male.



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188,973 Boycott ESPN.



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188,972 Walking the dog like I do every day...Pass by a woman in my neighborhood I've never seen...She looks away as we pass each other...No worries....Don't want to say Hi to you either. See her a few more times. Same look away. Then notice extensive ink exposed by shorts on her upper inside thigh. So...You intimidated by people you meet on the street...but have no problem by someone shoving an ink filled needle next to your pussy?



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188,971 When I was 5 the kid across the street took me into his garage and we showed each other our dicks. I had no knowledge of sex or genitals or anything. But it was at that moment in his garage that I knew I was gay.



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188,970 I have a number of medical issues and quirks that boil down to being severely, consistently stressed out. The one that gets me the worst is my forgetfulness. My brain cycles through so many problems in a day that it's chemically incapable of forming new memories. I know it, but I never talk about it.

I hate it when I realize an issue I have is due to high stress. What the hell can I do about life being stressful? I have learned in the last few years how to shuffle some stressors off my back by simply dismissing them, but there are lots of things about life, and my life, that are deservedly stressful.

Now that I say that though, I can think of a few more things to eliminate. Hopefully I can get some medication soon and deal with my anxiety, because it's really ruining my quality of life.



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188,969 I echo the lady who said absolutely no kissing on the first date. Im a woman and not sexually uptight or anything, but if a man tried to kiss me on the first date, like she said, we'd be done. I don't know you, and you wanna kiss me? Uhh, I don't think so!absolutely not!



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188,968 Regarding the self watering spouse: go to the uncomfortable.com for good lulz 🙃



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188,967 -958, I literally just turned my head and saw we have one of those watering cans with a spout that turns back on itself.  It's to save room.  I laughed because the rotating spout lets it sit in a corner, all by itself... kind of a metaphor for a bad spouse.



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188,966 I'm a bisexual man who has been with men and women.  Both men and women equally cheat.  It's bullshit.



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188,965 Light on an autumn morning is a beautiful way to describe true, hard won love.



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188,964 957, I think that's one of the coolest things I've ever heard of.  I would have totally been up for that game!  Don't give up - there are nice, normal ladies out there :)

P.S. Hold out for the LADY, not just the WOMAN.



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188,963 My secret is that i am 45, a woman and if a man tried to kiss me after the first date ( attraction or no attraction) we would be done right then and there. Some people call me uptight but they would die of embarrassment if only they knew hoe NOT uptight i am (as in, 50 shades of grey is child's play compared to my sex life). Nope, not uptight in the least. I have standards, is all.



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188,962 If we lived in California, my wife would have nothing at all to say. The weather is always the same.



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188,961 OK.

My last ex was once so fucked up on God-knows-what that he picked up his (nice, parental gifted) computer monitor and almost chucked it across our living room. I was somehow able to stop him, but he just decided to direct it at the computer desk instead. One time he took me to meet some of his old friends. The evening began surprisingly well, but in perfect fashion he ended up with a large (no less than 25lbs) rock raised above his head as he muttered death threats toward his so-called best and oldest friend (and at me). Another fun time was when he almost got me arrested. Remember that time he threatened to kill me, and then actually tried to do so? His world was cold, coloured yellow and grimy by years of abuse and bad decisions. I thought I didn't deserve anything better.

The guy I was seeing before him had weird, small hairs at the base of his cock--which was slightly less than average. He was alright; not a bad guy, but a typical one; would talk about other women as we were technically not a couple. He probably knew I was head over heels, and he enjoyed having pussy at his beck and call. At least he was smart, adorable and funny.

The others are honestly not worth mentioning. My highschool boyfriend---there are no words for the level of douchebaggery this person was/probably still is. The guys I fucked between then and my early 20s were disappointing to say the least.

My current relationship is the light that flutters through an open window on a crisp, autumnal morning. It's freeing, loving, tempered true in love's fire.



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188,960 I can't help but laugh.  Recently on this site people were talking about apartments vs houses.  I specifically recall one secret (sorry I don't have the number, it wasn't THAT recent)  that said the main pro to apartment life is all the random sex.  People moving in and out of the building means you meet and have sex all the time.  

I read that and thought, what a load of crap! Then my one and only neighbor moved out. I just moved in just a few months ago, and I'm in my late 20s.  He was in his 40s post-divorce, finally found a house to buy so he moved out.  Two friends in their 20s just moved in, a guy and a girl.  They are super fun.  The first Friday they were here they invited me out with them.   The girl was clearly on the prowl, leaving me and the guy alone a lot.  We had a good humor, but I didn't see anything happening there.  Until the girl left us alone on the dance floor and his body got close to mine.  Once I felt his muscles I was done.... we ended up fucking later that night.    

HA! I guess I have to take it back.  I guess the person who wrote that secret was right! My apologies sir/madam.  And nice to meet you new neighbors :)



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188,959 Men are weird.

This is not a secret, however.



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188,958 955- Or maybe men just complain more and women are generally more tolerant of small annoyances. Also women tend to have more emotionally supportive relationships with each other, so they probably complain more to each other in person and less on the internet to strangers.



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188,957 My ex wife, being a magnatar of self-service and self absorption, devoid of any real sense of empathy, was hoplessly inept when it came to relationships...
I saw a picture today of a wateringcan that has a spout that turns back on itself. So useless. So funny.



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188,956 I once set up what I thought was a brilliant blind date. My idea was to create excitement, intrigue, and surprise.  Here's what I did. I bought two tickets to a ballet. But not in the normal way. I bought one ticket and arranged to have it picked up at the box office on the evening of the show. It was under the woman's name. Then a few days later I bought another ticket under my name. This guaranteed the seats wouldn't be next to each other.

I explained all this to the woman over the phone. I said it will be interesting to see how long it takes to find each other. Maybe fate will bring us together immediately, locking eyes across a crowded auditorium. Or worst case, we'll have to wait for everyone else to leave after the show, and when only the two of us are left, well then we'll known who we are looking for.

I thought it would be a fun twist on a blind date.

Evening of the show comes round, I pick up my ticket and take my seat. I look all around. No one catches my eye.

Intermission, I look some more. I go out to the lobby. Still no one.

The show ends. I wait for people to leave.  100 people left.... 50 people left... 5 people left... 4... 3... 2... only one person left... she's a 70 year old lady.. she leaves.

What? Where is my blind date?

I look around some more. There is no mistake. I'm the last one in the auditorium.

I only have her work number. I have to wait until the next day to call her. Maybe she got hit by a bus or something. I just don't know.

Next day I call. I ask what happened. As best I remember, she said, "I though the idea was stupid so I didn't show up."

And there you have it. That's how women behave after I put in all this effort. Just like a giant fuck you to all women out there. All of you. Go fuck yourselves. I hope your husbands cheat and your kids hate you and you die all alone with your cats. Women are such jerks.



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188,955 I pull out my cock at work and stroke it sometimes.



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188,954 One thing becomes clear because of the internet. We get to know how people really feel.

Old way: You see a person in the real world, like you bump into them at a social function, and we all play nice. We exchange pleasantries. But in reality, we know nothing about who the person really is on the inside.

New way: People speak their mind on the internet. They let it all out. We call people names online that we would never say to anyone in person.

Something starts to become clear. Wives are awful people. They are self centered. They are angry nasty bitches. Look at all the complaining that goes on here. Sure every now and then there is a vague frown at men. But there are endless anecdotes of wives behaving like real douches.

Prediction: Because of the honesty of the internet, I think men are becoming much more wise as to the ways of women. It used to be that husbands would suffer in silence. They were probably too embarrassed to bring up wife issues with their male friends. But along comes the internet and men are venting their anger. The next generation of potential grooms is watching and learning.  I predict men will see the light and stop getting married.

This is how it should be. It's better to be a bachelor your whole life than married to such a fucking headache. So men will forgo marriage. Sure there are some good women out there. They will get married. They will procreate. They will have decent offspring. But the nasty bitches will have no husband to torment. As a consequence they won't have children. This is a form of Darwinism. Nasty genes will be wiped out. The population might go down. But no matter, what will be left are the good people.

Thank you internet. You might have just saved the entire species.



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188,953 I'm saddened when I think back to ll the selfish things my wife has done over the years. I should have divorced her in the first year. I'm embarrassed I let this linger on for so long. Jesus I've tolerated so damned much. I'm going to end this marriage ASAP.



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188,952 I've been on several first (and last) dates where the guy does something incredibly thoughtless. If it matters, I only go on dates with men who I feel are similar to me: financially independent, no kids, and professional,  and in every date I am about to describe, the men were astonished that I was not interested in seeing them again.

Three separate times I've been invited for coffee or dinner and when I arrive (always on time), he'll tell me he already finished his coffee or ate dinner at home.. What?! You invited me and our first encounter is going to be weird and uncomfortable? Did you consider me at all? Order another damn coffee or get an appetizer so it's not awkward. It makes me wonder if being single for so long makes people strange?

I've also been on a few of these dates where the guy does not ask me a single question. I enjoy active listening and I think people like to feel heard, but it goes two ways. How can you walk away from a first date knowing literally nothing new about the person? I am outgoing and friendly and VERY easy to get along with, so it's not like I'm painfully shy or anything.

I don't get it. People are bizarre.



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188,951 I don't understand why a new iphone needs facial recognition to turn on. What was wrong with a passcode? I've never had a problem tapping in 4 digits. And what happens when you try to access your phone at night in the dark? My face will look like a dark blob. That won't work. Maybe it will flash a light at me? When I look at my phone in bed at 2 AM, my husband won't like that the phone's light turning on. And all this will set me back $1,000? No thanks.

I think there is more going on. Think about it. The name of the game is for all your info to be online for big brother. If there is facial recognition access to phones, then big brother will end up with thousands of pictures of your face. And the phone also scans your finger print. How convenient that the government will now have everyone's picture and finger print.

Don't do it. Do get the latest iphone. Resist.



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188,950 I married her two years ago. She moved into the house I've been living in for six years. It's been rough.

I say to her how our garden is filled with ripe tomatoes, so please don't buy any tomatoes for a while. Next day she comes home with half a dozen tomatoes from the store.

I say to her that our pear tree is filled with ripe pears. So please don't buy anymore pears for a while. That very same evening she comes home with a dozen pears from the store.

I spent two days sanding down and varnishing the stairs to the basement. I tell her to please stay off the stairs. I  put tape across the door as an extra precaution and reminder. An hour later she goes down to the basement to get a box of Christmas ornaments. You know, that pressing need to get out the Christmas ornaments in August.

I never say anything bad to her. I just observe her actions. I've decided there are two possibilities. She's an idiot and can't understand simple requests. She's passive aggressive and does these things on purpose.

Either way this isn't working for me.



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188,949 Catherine, I can't stop thinking about how sweaty your leggings must be getting



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188,948 946 I went through the same thing - only difference was, he was my long-term boyfriend and we had a child together.  He was a POS cop, mentally/emotionally/psychologically abusive and an alcoholic.  When I took our child and left, all hell broke loose.  He called EVERYONE - family, friends, coworkers, exes, doctors, child's school, landlord, even relatives I'd never met.  Almost everyone turned against me, even longtime close friends who swore their allegiance to me.  He harassed and threatened them so much they cut ties with me.  I spent an ungodly amount of money making sure I got custody.   The only reason I didn't go further up his chain of command is because I was afraid that if he lost his job, he'd kill me :(



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188,947 I'm bored with my wife. When she speaks, I don't bother to listen anymore because nothing she says is important or of interest.



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188,946 Denny, you're a piece of shit! You've caused so much trouble in the house, I wish the landlord had just kicked you out! This is a guy who

-pulled a knife on another roommate
-refused to pay for electricity
-refused to pay the gas bill when it was under his name
-got fucking sectioned
-flipped out on people for keeping doors INSIDE the house open because he couldn't find his cat
-NEVER fucking cleans his room, so it reeks of cat piss
-waited until another roommate cleaned the living room out and poured cornflower ALL OVER the room, ruining a third roommate's veteran flag from his uncle
-always left the front door unlocked
-is generally a piece of shit

You should have gotten kicked out a long time ago. Good riddance

But fuck, now we have no gas and it's September!



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188,945 I once had a guy harassing me, he took advantage that he was a sheriff deputy to dig personal information on me , then started stalking me and contact every person I had contact with including business I used ( car shop, doctors offices, my child school etc...) he started spreading tumors , when he used to call an office he used to tell them I had a warrant for my arrest so they would released personal information.  Needless to say I just ignored him and refused to talk or meet with him.  Too bad I don't have any proof otherwise I would sue his axe for slander and harassment, no body deserves to have their life's destroyed over some mentally ill person who cannot take rejection.



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188,944 Fyi you have no idea what she did to me. Or maybe this is you. So if thats your answer.... If its not then you shouldnt respond because i wouldnt know that and go ahead with dire measures that can be avoided



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188,943 Once, someone tried to blackmail me.  It was tricky information he was going to release, but I said 'go ahead, do your worst!'  He didn't; but I would rather die and burn in hell than to let any blackmailer control me.  So, Fuck You, Asshole!!!



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188,942 Dani please contact me or xnxx,your fav porn site,is gonna get alot more personal for you. I dont want to do this but youve been dodging me for months and im fed up. Oh yeah and i will walk down to ca???l st and knock on your door.i WILL fill the new guys head with info real and made up. I will not stop til i get the answers i deserve and sought since i found out what you did. I have no peace til then,so why should you?



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188,941 Married for 18 years.   I still think back to the women I slept with in my past.   I mentally go over their bodies and what they looked naked.  I replay the sex we had in my mind.  I fantasize about the sex we could be having today and often masturbate thinking about them.    sometimes I wonder what they are doing (the ones I don't keep in touch with) and often wonder how my life would be different if I married one of them.  I wonder if I'm the only one doing that.   Do women do it a much as men?  

50/M



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188,940 iyam 188925.
i guess i can clarify because i didnt think anyone would respond,
i've done sexual things with this boi in the beginning of the relationship,and because of my ptsd. i told him i'd rather not do things, which is real, i do have flashbacks of my "rapes"
but honestly,, if im completely honest, his penis was 2-2 1/2 inches.. hes 5Ƌ and im 5ཆ. i know it just WONT work out
so i used my ptsd as an excuse to not have sex with him,,
but really i just dont think i can have THT dik yanno?
i just dont know where the fuck i want this relationship to go,, like hes beautiful inside and out and im gonna think about him for the rest of my life but why do i do this to myself i knew i  was moving soon anyways why did i start it again

in regards to 927,
is desensitizing my soul to something i actually want, worth it?
i feel like if i were to desensitize id just be a replica of him
he is very desensitized.

to 926, im gay. not straight. iyam in love with a boy. but i identify as nonbinary so i dont consider myself a girl.



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188,939 Personality over looks.



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188,938 I act like you don't phase me but you really hurt me and my heart hurts for you. You confused me when you moved and texted me our pics when I deleted you off everything. I thought we really liked eachother and it was going somewhere.



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188,937 901 you are a good man!  So happy to know a man out there would not take the niece up on the offer



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188,936 What I don't understand is why people get married before living together... it's like buying a pair of shoes that you didn't try on before you paid for it, and then whining later when it's uncomfortable...
The other thing that I don't understand is why people stay with spouses that suck...



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188,935 If the birthday card's message is clear and he takes it/me up on the offer, I'm gonna drain him until he can't walk.  :D



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188,934 I was looking at an amateur porn site and saw I woman I was sure I knew. I looked at the poster's ID. It was a French word. I know the woman's husband is French. I looked up some of his other posts on the porn site. There was one of a young girl with long black hair. She was naked at a swimming hole and was covering up with embarrassment as her photo was taken. I could swear it's the French guy's daughter. Could it be? I can understand the guy postings pics of his wife. But of his daughter? Call me old fashioned, but that is not right.



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188,933 Seeing a woman in yoga pants is excellent. But seeing her right after she takes them off is even better. :)



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188,932 I can't believe people actually marry the wrong person and then bitch about it.  How did you not see it before the wedding?  Were you that desperate to be in a relationship and get married?



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188,931 This is based on my extensive dating experiences... If after a first date the guy does not kiss you, there is a 99% chance he's not into you and there will be no 2nd date....OR... he's not that confident and has a small cock.

F/43



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188,930 I'm fuckng your husband tomorrow aaaaall day long. Gonna be awesome!



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188,929 I love seeing a woman in yoga pants. It makes my day. Thank you.



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188,928 I think my wife is setting herself up for an affair. It's a guy from her gym. They work out together. She comes home and tells me about their conversations. She says he's her friend, nothing more. But she forgets to mention they sometimes go out for coffee after their workouts. Little details like that only slip out later. "Sorry, I thought I mentioned we went out for coffee..."  

He's a guy. At some point he will make a play for her. It's what guys do.

Odd thing is, as much as I should be jealous, I find myself getting very sexually excited at the idea of her sleeping with someone else. Weird.



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188,927 I'd like to quit being a lawyer and get a job as a gardener.



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188,926 You can love someone of the opposite sex without being sexually attracted to them.
Happened to me and to fuck them is to desensitize your soul to something u actually want.



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188,924 ive had a on and off relationship with this guy for about 2 years now. we stopped talking for at max 5 months for about 5 different reasons. the first time it was because he was getting too attached, it was only 2 weeks when he said he thought he loved me. the first 2 weeks were like a movie, we went to the zoo and the beach on ecstasy, we listened to great music with very meaningful conversations at all hours.
it got to a time where we were seeing eachother too much. the last time we hung out it was a great time, but when i left i asked if i'd see him again(because he was acting strange) he said "maybe" and disappeared for 3 months.
about a month ago, i saw Current Joys live and i had to tell him. so i messaged him annon on tumblr and the next morning he replied. before i knew it we were talking just like before.
i went against every bone in my body and hung out with him again. he met my new dog and we stayed at the dog park for 6 hours just catching up.
its been 3 weeks since then.
we've hung out 5 times for very short periods
and everytime he kisses me.
i think its funny that i'm in love with him now.
i'll be moving 1,935 miles away in 2 months.
i dont think its the best decision to tell him i love him now, but whats gonna happen if i dont?

anyways thats my stupid boy drama

my secret is that i'm entirely gay
my sex is female but i identify as nonbinary.

and i could never have sex with this boy
and i think that really changes things for him
which sux cause im in love with his soul

i hope this all blows over n i find a cute girl



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188,923 I just learned the term "Edging" ! I'd been doing that my whole life when masturbating! It is so great to ALMOST cum, then back off, then almost cum, then back off, until you just can't take it anymore.  You cum much more, and it feels so amazing!



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188,922 One of my first memories was trying to aquire free will (or increase it for me and all people) because I was paranoid we were all cause and effect. I would do random things and change my mind right in the middle or do things I "wouldn't choose".. I thought I could dislodge the cause and effect train and everyone would be free. I was about 4 and I remember linking an experience to this, when I would fall to the ground with the feeling of strings skreetching in my ears, it hurt a lot and lasted about a minute or so. I thought it was punishment from the universe for this pattern of behavior and not following what I know now is synchronicity and listening and taking it in interpreting truth that dialogue of meant to be not has to be. I always had a dialogue between myself and "Nothing" which was my concept of God when I learned that the space between particles was that. Edge of universe is all matter within universe. Anyway that habit of experimenting with strange behavior resulted in a lot of mistakes and bad karma. I wish I had fully realized what the universe was telling me. But that is a real memory. Also a first memory is crying for hours for my mom in my cradle and persisting when she picked me up because I felt hatred and wanted her to suffer in return. I then stopped because I was worried she would hurt me. She recently told me she was close at times to giving me shaken baby syndrome I know she didn't actually tho.
Finding a dead blue jay under a tree. When my kindergarten bully who I would call on in the schoolyard to beat me up told me the story I shared in the library was good and never bullied me again and I missed her. The bug club I started in kindergarten where I would bring in all these plastic containers for the kids, I got bored and slightly overwhelmed with the routine so I quit the club and then the new girl leader said she would change it to the "ant club" when I was upset she stole my club lol.. My grandma getting me to retrieve objects from under her bed, her singing to me and me warming her feet cuddling. Her story of the poor matchstick girl and her grandmother she would tell. my cousin telling me we should just draw the jewellery and objects in my grandmother's room if we felt the need to steal. When my friend in improv class stole my idea and made it way better around the time I was losing my gift, seeing her word for word joke in a fav successful comedian's routine. other jokes in routines that make me wonder if a tape with us on it got to somewhere.. My childhood taperecorder memories made me wonder things too.. Playing what I thought was really cool music out of "my first tape recorder" the sony product, for the babysitter kids playing basketball. one of those kids always had silly putty and cool toys in his fanny pack.. me and him found broken shingles once by the house when we were waiting for the sitter to walk the other kids home and let us in.. we put twos of the "wishing rocks" together until one fit and we made a wish and then the sitter immediately appeared from around the bend and we looked at eachother like oh my god is that what you wished lol. an older girl kid at the sitters making me play at 5 that i was the abused child of the home trying to call children's aid and then she comes around the corner angry lol
 
i found a rock a few days ago after being up all night. it was by the tracks and even reminded me of the one i found with my dad by the tracks when i was like 6 or 8... i remember him saying its time to go now and i begged him just give me a few more moments i know im about to find the perfect rock. right when he was about to get really mad and it would have been too late i immediately found i swear to god a big chalky lime green and yellow zebra striped rock. i gave it to him and told him to remember i remember seeing it on my step dads desk tho or my dads and they actually might have each im almost sure had one of those roll top wood desks. but i know this rock existed it was in my life i saw it around. i must have taken it back from my dad to give to my step dad then it was just gone and my dad claims to not remember or just doesnt.... it looked like no naturally occuring rock and yet hard to imagine a person creating either yet natural.
 
when I wasn't buying food and there was nothing in the house to eat.. I had to work soon and I was lying on a dirty mattress feeling myself die.. watching the scuff marks on the wall floating and trying to touch eachother as though against wind.. I tried to call my "friend" and leave a message that I thought I was dying. she later said she didn't listen to it thought I was just trying to get attention I guess. it was within months or weeks of seeing my own visualizations project through the tv. seemed like collaborative effort to express what I wanted to express. felt like dreaming on the tv and my roommate saw it too and thought it was profound. he was a desperate guy I was a desperate girl. if he wasn't such a creep and unable to understand I was gay if he wasn't verging on dangerous..(years later he pinned me down and spat in my face after walking around naked red and angrily expecting something) i was always avoided by normal people sought out by freaks and often passed up things that might have been a healthy medium. i missed the people i had already bonded with who had little time for me.. no one could replace them. i was into finding someone to be with romantically and i wasted time leaning on people i didn't want to because i wasn't able to maintain something healthy. i might make a post about how if i had held out longer for true love i wouldn't have missed the train of my person the first time. i would advise people to open their minds yet stick to their standards that matter most.. don't accept something that you less than love unless ur ready to sacrifice the capacity of your heart and chances at true love. don't take people on a ride. i owe this guy nothing. but he didn't deserve to be dangling from false hope. unrelated to the schizo related memories I'm trying to bring out now.. like the bus stop near that apartment.. i remember it was like 12am and i was trying to catch a bus and there was a grime puddle under a streetlamp that looked like a woman with my awkward body type and posture, clutching a pillow with her whole skeletal body.. recently after letting a miracle slip through my fingers.. i was looking for "god" through the rainy car window. a drop briefly held the form of an old man with a beard.. and then his face fell into a crying expression..

I used to daydream that my dad would fly from California in a helicopter and down into my schoolyard and lift me up out of it waving goodbye to my friends who would miss me and be jealous

I turned to oil painting and mastered it to a point to impress fliffy who moved away. My mom threw out all significant art pieces i had dedicated my last years to before she kicked me out sly and pleased as she retracted her promise to pay the half of rent i would have saved the rest of with my two jobs. She kept this little boring tree watercolour that was a square inch and framed it in a retardedly oversized frame the bitch.
The ones I wish I could have brought somewhere anywhere were the message in a bottle one... and one I don't even have a picture of was a hunched over sinking inward like a sandcastle body leaning on a wrist with drawer coming out of chest and little lady climbing a ladder into that drawer.. the body had an eroded circular shell hollow head and it was done very well i am just reliving for a moment but this is not the painting so it doesn't exist now and no i can't do it again.

My friends brought me to a party as soon as I was kicked out where I had a spiritual experience as the sun came up and everything felt like a perfect dream. Only I panicked knowing my best friend would not mention again the possibility of hanging tight w her and saving the rent to start a normal life with. My panic was interpreted as crazy and incapable of being a person worth helping or speaking to so oh well into the hands of people who are paid to extract and distort u into a malfunctioning mechanism and even bring u into a room and inject your neck and then my little paw goes up and fixes itself under my chin going up and eyes blurred and voice all high and lisped says "omg I'm retarded now I'm actually retarded.." as the doctor snickered until it went away and I told her to take a good hard look at what she does and consider switching to naturopathy or writing a scandalous book and she said "I will" very seriously.

Now 10 years later 10 paintings later 29 less paintings than were possible later and about that many jobs later I have a job soon 2 and am unmedicated and basically cutting my losses and getting myself back and starting to find that peace is my natural state.



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188,921 What u don't know is that belly Bilbo online and scrappyhazel online and hospital tito and my partner enriched interactions happen in the months between thoughts of whoever u even are or why u treated me that way or made it seem like i was inhuman or stupid or that my first email was anything other than a guilt for getting over someone I thought I owed love to who then refused to talk about it



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188,920 I have a friend that is a lawyer and was trying to be a judge.  He listed me as a refernce and when I was called I lied and told the people how wonderful he is and that he'd be agreat judge.  The truth is, I think he would have been a terrible judge. He is overly judgemental, a little racist, and has a terrible 'judicial' demeanor.  Plus, I think he is a little crazy.  He never got the judgeship and he seems to have shot himself in the foot in the process, so he probably will never get it now.  I am secretly  happy that he never got it and hope be never does for the good of everyone.



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188,919 Passive aggressive petty bully enjoys believing a "desperate confused lesbian" she purposely antagonized in the past will lose at life and regret disrespecting her for the abuse eternally in hell while somehow jealous that a person whom is now random faceless stranger is happy. Be happy is very good. I hope u get to watch a befuddled handsome business boy with tosselled hair puts his coat on a puddle for u to get to your science professional elevator and create a giant peach that will sustain the world and all children's children forever and no one dies or lives short or doesn't have a home because food is now free from giant peach. You will then produce sassy peach perfume with a logo of a painted nails middle finger and wear designer
Gowns in New York where I will search for u if only to be seen nearby looking over a maxim magazine nervous and disheveled photo bombing your perfect moments...



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188,918 I could have married a woman that I later learned was a little bi and liked going to sex clubs with her spouse and bringing other women into the bed every now and then.  FML!



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188,916 My secret. I told my spouse and his rabid democratic family that I voted for Hillary. The truth is I didn't. I'm really glad Hillary stays around and is now pushing her excuses book. This just confirms my decision and makes all Dems look like the winey losers they are. Please stay around a long time Hill.

38/f



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188,915 Some years ago, I seriously considered having an affair.  It was during a rough stretch of my marriage.  What kept me from it was remembering my marriage vows.  I was so pissed at her that I almost did it, but I remembered that I had made those vows to God, too.  How does one break vows to God???  

Now, all these years later, I do not have that time to look back upon in disgust!  My marriage is intact, and i think my wife and I are in really good standing these days.  Thank God for that!  I don't have to feel like a human turd!



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188,913 Very, very smart guy at that wedding!!! Cudos to You!



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188,912 deleted



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188,911 deleted and banned



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188,910 Sometimes, I will look at you (some may say I stare) to see if your pants will spontaneously ignite. I wonder if you think I like you because I do it without realizing until you look at me. I may blush because I got caught but it's not what you were thinking of. ::)



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188,909 Randomly, I will make a point of thinking of you just to see how long it will take you to make contact with me. It's interesting.  I can do this with my sister. I will think of something about her then she will contact me. She's quicker on the contact. But it's fun either way.



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188,908 About Immigrants:-
Big difference between LEGAL immigrants and ILLEGAL immigrants.Please get that right?



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188,907 Hope the bull made it through irmageddon ok.
Mine did not.



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188,906 My wife has never watched porn. She repels at the thought and scolds me for even suggesting something so vile.

Contrast and compare to the girlfriend I dated before my wife. I lived with her. Some days I'd come home from work and find a porn DVD in the player. Oh ya, I knew what she was doing all day, watching porn and masterbating.

In hindsight I married the wrong girlfriend.



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188,905 I actually hope I get the job I just applied for. Send good vibes my way, everyone!



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188,904 My town's government is so f-ing corrupt. They run the town, but they are also real estate developers who sell town land to themselves at half price or even less. The corruption couldn't be more blatant. If a piece of property they own isn't zoned to have many houses, well no problem, they are the government, they change the zoning rules to suit themselves. Why do these crooks keep getting voted in? Because the residents are busy with their own jobs and kids. They aren't paying attention. No one realizes or cares what goers on. Apathy is killing democracy.



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188,903 I keep dreaming about you, so I guess I'll pursue you. Upon interpreting the symbols, I can tell that I subconsciously feel like you can protect my heart. You're sweet and polite, and you're one of the only people in my life that openly respects women as a default. The problem with your last relationship was that you gave too much to someone who was just a taker. What's not appealing about that?

But really, I like you. I'm not just trying to use you to feel protected. I could offer you a lot, based on what you need. It could work out.



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188,902 898 You're not a bad mother. I'm not quite sure how to explain this, but I learned in college that boys, when they turn 2 years old, start learning how to disregard a woman's emotions. This is played out between the male child and his mother.

Basically, the 2 year old processes the mother's tone and facial expression when she is distressed or angry, but something in the childrens' brains leads them to immediately learn to ignore it. This is why boys will balance on precarious perches and play with dangerous toys, even when their mothers tell them no. I don't know why this happens, but it does.

They say that this is why men have trouble understanding women's emotions as adults, because they've long since learned how to ignore the signals one gets from a woman's facial expression and tone. I know this doesn't bring a solution, but just know that it's not your fault.



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188,901 Go you!



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188,900 At a wedding last weekend and my wife's 26 year old niece comes over to talk with me.  She is single. She takes my phone and sends a text to herself on her phone.  “There, now you do not have an excuse not to call me”

“Christine”, I said “Why would I want to call you. I see you at family events every 3-4 months”  It quickly becomes clear that she has a sexual liaison in mind.

Now both the mother and daughter are beautiful woman with tight bodies and they dress to show that off.  However the mother is a crazy lady who never lets  a slight go by without a loud and cringe worthy response.   Christine has a lot of similarity to her mother.  I want nothing to do with either.  

I told my wife in exact detail of that conversation, on the drive back home.  She was not surprised. We are in agreement I am staying away from her family events for a long while.



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