secrets


archives




191,099 94/98 read a chemistry book sometime.



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191,098 94- That's why people believe in God.



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191,097 93- Has she always been like this? Because if she hasn't, you need to get her to a doctor. That sounds neurological.



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191,096 Blame it on the Blizzard. Wind and snow bringing people together.

;)



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191,095 I really dislike when a woman reaches for the tissues within five seconds of me ejaculating. Savor the moment. Enjoy the feeling. Don't rush to clean up, as if their has been a toxic chemical spill.



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191,094 I don't understand why all these molecules decided to cooperate with each other to create life.

What if strings of carbon and hydrogen just sat there in some galactic soup. It shouldn't matter to the molecules. They are not alive. Yet somehow they decided to come together and form a society of molecules that ultimately became conscious and self aware.

It's unfathomable to me. Molecules cooperating with each other? There is no science to account for this.



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191,093 I can't do this anymore. I can't stay married anymore. Interacting with my wife is too painful. Simple conversations become sources of deep tension.

She has the TV blaring in the kitchen. Our daughter is napping. I ask if I can turn down the volume.

Her response, "No you can't turn up the fucking volume. I have it up all the way."

I say, "I know. I'm asking if you can turn it down?"

Her, "Don't you fucking change the channel... the weather is coming on in a few minutes ago."

I ignore the word "ago" at the end of her sentence. "I'm not asking to change the channel. The volume is too loud."

Her, "Then why do you want to turn it up more?"

Me, "Please focus and listen to my words. I'm looking to turn the volume down. "

Her, "Well I'm not changing because when the weather is going to be purposeful tomorrow."

Me, "That's a perfect example of something else. I often don't understand what you are saying. What does your sentence mean? It's a jumble of words. We've had this conversation many times. Can't you plan out what you want to say and then speak, as opposed to just saying a random assortment of words? "

"Fuck you that's not true."

Me, "And you're antagonistic towards me all the time. I'm supposed to be your friend but you treat me like an enemy."

Her, "Well don't come in here to change the channel."

----------------------------------------------

Turning down the volume was such a simple request. But it ends up as a strained dialog with no resolution. This is every conversation with her. She's not old and senile. She's just lazy. She doesn't listen to others. She doesn't think before she speaks. And her entire demeanor is one of anger, as if everyone, especially me, is such a burden to her.

I'm so tired of this.



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191,092 You don't need to be rich to travel the world , just get a career that will pay you to do it .

F Daughter of a flight engineer, sister of two pilots .



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191,091 I was the one who said she said "no" and it hurt more than it should.

So I am in a sexless marriage and I figured out a while ago that in order to be a better husband, a happier person, that I needed a woman to have a sexual relationship with.  I tired everything with my wife, including sex counselling, but nothing worked.  She is asexual.  But I love her.  So an affair is the only way.

So I misread the situation.  She said no because of the location, and I think she wants me as much as I want her.  And my God, I want her.  I pray, pray every night we can make each other happy.  I know she would make me happy.

Why?  Physically she is exactly my type but more importantly she is fucking smart.  God, intelligent women turn me on.  I want her.  I want to fuck her brains out.  

That is my secret.



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191,090 I see the `DONATE` button on this website.

Truthfully, I really like the current format of the way the cavecanum website. It is no-frills secret posting and reading. No distractions of likes and whatnot. Straight to the point reading, which is what I love.



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191,089 I hope with all these stories of sexual harassment in the workplace my boss doesn't think I'll respond like most of these women have. By definition harassment is unwanted attention and I've wanted my boss's attention since we met. I think he knows it too. I also hope he doesn't think I'm just playing along or trying to use him to get ahead. I actually like him and my job. I want to keep whatever this is between us going for as long as we can.



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191,088 I haven't been back here in months.

In that time, a lot has happened. Challenges, growth, goals reached, trips, love, new job, new car, new home.

Life can be different that what it is right now for you, but first you've got to believe it can be.

Numbing yourself to the pain you feel is just a way of staying trapped in the holes of sorrow. You have to work through the emotion, learn from the pain, and let go. It's not easy but it works. I'm a lot closer toward my goals and living the life I want now than I was a year ago.

That didn't happen because I stayed where I was, it was because chose to live despite fear.

You can too.

Choose to live and do that which you're afraid of doing. Don't take the easy path - it'll rob you of what you really want. Be willing to commit and work your ass off for it.

BELIEVE IT.



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191,087 I see many facebook photos of acquaintances who go on lavish trips, and seemingly have perfect lives and significant others.

Not going to lie: I want to be rich. I want to be able to travel the world and to find someone I am attracted to and share experiences with them.  But mainly, I want to have a lot of money to do whatever I want.  How can I get there?



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191,086 To 191066- this happens to young people, too. I know because I am in my 30s and it is happening to me. It probably has nothing to do with you or your age.



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191,085 - you want so desperately to be liked that you constantly stress how good of person you are and how much you do for others. Are you really so selfless?

- you crave everyone's attention because you're unhappy in your own relationship, and instead of actually doing anything about it, you keep playing that sympathy card. You're probably scared to start over because your only identity now is your shit relationship.

- you have no loyalty to anyone but yourself and lure other people into this false sense of security. You'd throw anyone to the wolves.

You all act so high and fucking mighty as if you're exempt from the same criticism you have toward me. Fuck you.



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191,084 I'm such an anxious, tightly wound ball of stress that I come off as garbage and constantly worry that everyone hates me. As soon as I can sense a slight drop in someone's temperament toward me (is it even toward me? I'm so fucking self centered) I immediately close up and assume the worst. It's like I'm missing out on some massive inside joke, and I'm the punchline. These thoughts plague me no matter what I do.



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191,083 MY 2 Factors: Stock Market/Economy is bangin, and Homeland Security. So far Im very happy.
Ignore the rest.



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191,082 Franken never intentionally engaged in this kind of conduct? His body acted that way without his minds intention? That completely disrespectful photograph of him "groping" the sleeping women happened while he was sleepgroping? Resign pervert.



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191,081 weened off my Medication. Praying.  I think it was just a Mental Crutch.



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191,080 Geraldo Rivera weighed in on the Lauer firing.  What a nerve!  Look behind you, Raldo.  You're most likely next.



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191,079 I think we're all (Americans) going to die soon!  Just like when Trump emerged victorious (Electoral College Victory) with the election, everyone was shocked, including him.  Now, everyone poo-poos the idea that North Korea is a deadly serious threat to us and that Trump's tweeting and instigating is all in fun and everything is going to be just fine.  Well, I doubt it.  I think we are in for another big ugly surprise.  I wonder, in the end, how many of us will live through it.  They have improved and expanded their capability right in our faces, and have shown that their deadly nuclear missiles will have no trouble reaching us here on our mainland - where we live, while we sat around making asinine jokes.  I do not believe that there is anything more serious in the world right now.  Get right with God for we will probably find ourselves face-to-face with Him sooner than we think.



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191,078 Paris has a roach problem. I refuse to go there any more because I refuse to accept roaches in my restaurant meal!



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191,077 For several years I worked with the really nice guy Peter. He was about 25 at the time. One day during casual office banter the boss found out Peter shared an apartment with someone who worked for a competing firm. The boss then fired Peter on the grounds that the competing firm might be able to find out information about what our company was up to. To me that went way too far. The company gets to decide who you can have as a roommate? That should be illegal. It's none of their business.



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191,076 My husband is not my friend. i try to talk to him. i make attempts to share things that interest me. New music, a book, or I'll cook a new recipe that i think sounds delicious. i end up being ignored, being interrupted, or the dinner is only eaten by me :(
He told me this morning that I'm selfish. Me me me me is what he said. This coming from a man who interrupted me to talk about his beard. Everyday it's about his beard. “Getting gnarly isn't it?” Or “look at this beard!” Or “i think it's time to shave it, i look like a homeless man.”
Does he not get enough attention? Yes he does. He ignores it.



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191,075 It's strange growing up with someone who's paranoid and distrustful. Obviously my spongey little brain absorbed a lot of those behaviors. But I had the wildest thought today.

It's almost impossible for me to believe that people like me for me. My brain turns it into "They like me because I make them feel good about themselves," or "They like me because they want something from me," or something of that nature.

Yesterday I got mad at a coworker because I realized that she projects things onto people to fit the narrative in her head that states that no one cares about her or is there for her. She does this to avoid getting close to people and being vulnerable. That pisses her friend off (she only has one) because Friend is usually there for her when she needs it.

I realized today that my mind is the same. I always find reasons not to trust people so that I can justify keeping my distance from them. I have lots of acquaintances and very few people I consider to be real friends, but there is a part of me that inherently doesn't trust most people. Even my real friends, people I love dearly, are not exempt. There are times when I don't trust a single person on this Earth, except myself.

It's scary watching yourself go down your parent's path when you know exactly where it got them. I need to deviate from this path. I want to love and trust the right people, and trust my judgment of who the right people are. I need to stop ragging on people so hard for their flaws. I need to relax and just enjoy the good people in my life.



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191,074 A lot of the times, employers don't want older folks because they know what their skills are worth. Many of them would rather hire naive, desperate post-grads who'll take just about any wage to pay their student loans. And then the employer gets to pay them pennies and treat them terribly because they know little to nothing about the workforce.

The funny thing about discrimination is that it's always hard to prove, and a lot of the time people don't realize it or won't admit it to themselves. It's really annoying



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191,073 It is NOT normal for employers to ask your living situation. Perhaps where you live is of interest to them, because they want to know if your commute is reasonable, but who you live with is NOT their business. Same with marital status, kids. If an employer is asking this, it should be a huge red flag.



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191,072 there definitely is age discrimination.  As far as I know they're not supposed to ask your age nowadays, but I've gone on interviews where they have.  I am a woman, so I think they're trying to put together if I am going to have a kid soon, they'll ask things about living situation which i suppose is normal, but they'll also bring up husband and boyfriend status.  It's a slippery slope...they know you have a man and are of a certain age, they think you'll be getting pregnant soon so are they gonna take a chance?  Probably not.



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191,071 My husband sleeps in the guest room and it's embarrassing how bad it smells in there. What the hell is he doing in that room late at night? I don't want to know...



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191,070 You gotta love how I can send myself a document via email because I want to print it out at the library. I then drive to the library and when I check my email, the document hasn't arrived in my inbox. In fact it took 4 days for the document to arrive. Email at times can be completely useless.



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191,069 Age discrimination is real.  Employers deny it, and get away with denial, because it is so difficult to prove.  Maybe this is the next "big thing" to gain public awareness after the groping/harassment issue simmers down.

.



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191,068 I was once in the guy's locker room at my gym. It was mid morning. No one was around. I had finished my workout and was taking a shower. When done, I walked back to the bench where I had left all my stuff. As a turned a corner by a row of lockers, I encountered a mother standing there hovering over a young pre-school boy. I was struck dumb at that moment. This was the male locker room.

She looked up and saw me and all of my nakedness. I didn't even have a towel. It was sitting on the bench behind her.  She explained how her son had taken his sister's towel and so she came in to get it out of his bag. She thought no one else was in the locker room. She explained all this to me while I'm still standing there naked.

I wasn't sure what to do at that moment. I'd have to squeeze past her to get to my stuff. I wasn't going to do that. So I kept standing there as she rifled through his bag.

After what felt like a very long time, but was proabbly only 15 seconds, she found the towel and walked past me to leave the locker room.

These things happen I guess. I shouldn't mind if a pretty mom sees me naked. But still I question who these moms are when they think nothing of barging into the male locker room whenever they want.



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191,067   If you treated women like people, they would actually like you. Yeah they do but they mostly don't sleep with you either . imagine getting told how much your are liked and how awesome you are but nobody wants to touch you ..



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191,066 I've been applying to jobs where I'm a perfect match. Not only do I have the exact qualifications, but I have been working at a competitor doing the same job. If they hire me they get my skills and the competition loses my skills. Two birds one stone.

But after I send in my resume, I never hear from the new company. I think I know what's going on. I'm in my 50s. No company wants to hire someone in their 50s. Oh sure every company says they do not discriminate based on age. But I think it's bull.

My question though, why not hire someone in his 50s? We have many more years of experience and wisdom. We know what to do. We have handled all the problem that can come up. Seems like hiring an older person makes so much more sense. Yet companies immediately write you off if you are over 50.

Maybe this is what's wrong with America. Companies put all these kids in the jobs and then they come out with a $1000 iphone that crashes. Cause and effect?



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191,065 There have been a few times with my wife when I'll play with her ass during sex, and yes my finger comes out brown. I don't mind at all. It's very kinky. I lick my finger clean and go in for more. I'll show her sometimes before I lick it. She squirms and says no no no but I sense she likes what I'm doing. I think my ultimate goal is to get her to poop directly into my mouth. We are not there yet but one day I think she'll agree to it.



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191,064 N. Korea has zero chance to cause us harm. We will wipe them off the map at even the appearance they try to harm us. We have a guy with balls in office now. Relax...the days of sitting idly by are over. Thank God.



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191,063 So, I want over to this guys house last night, not really sure what we are as far as relationship status is concerned, not the point. So I was giving him head and he had wanted me to play with his ass. I dont have a problem doing that BUT is smelled a little like he had to go to the bathroom and I was a little reluctant so I used my finger first and when I took my finger out........ yeah covered in shit. SSSSOOOO glad I didn't stick my tongue there first. Needless to say he was very embarassed and I felt bad because that's one of my biggest fears when a guy goes down that way, but wouldnt you think that if a girl is coming over and you know what's going to go down that you would, oh I dont know, make sure to WASH down there?!?!?!?!? I always make sure I'm clean before I even go out with a guy and I try very hard NOT to go to the bathroom until AFTER sexy time is over to assure this never happens!!! It was super gross but I wasn't going to be a priss about it, he's human we all have shit up our assholes (literally, LOL) but really?? He couldn't just make sure that it was clean?? Double, triple wipe down there maybe?? (facepalm) The other thing is that I REALLY like this guy, last night was just a little weird. Not really sure how to act at the current moment. I'm overthinking and over analysing the whole night.
Let this be a lesson to EVERYONE, before sexy time just be sure you're fresh, clean and double checked for remnants down there.



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191,062 It's a really weird feeling when an attractive young woman you use to jerk off to dies suddenly.



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191,061 25 years ago I was put on took this medication for migraine headaches.  I was supposed to take it "as needed," so I did, which is why it took me two years to figure out what it was doing to my head.  When I'd take it, it would just made me dark and paranoid.  I once took it and ended up looking through somebody's window.  Another time I heard sirens and hid in my car because I thought the police were after me.  Those are just the times I remember.  After it wore off the second time I thought, "What the fuck was I doing hiding in my car??"  I realized it was the medication.  I flushed it down the toilet and never went near the stuff again.  But what if I had been caught looking in somebody's window?  Nobody would have believed it was the medication.  The thought of what could have happened makes me sick.



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191,060 I want to help you through this very rough time.  However, you and your whole family are keeping it a secret.  I respect that.  And honestly, I'm glad I'm not supposed to know about it because that frees up my weekends.  But I'm here if you need me.  Leave me a message, though, because I'll be out somewhere.



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191,059 I was once unemployed for a year.  I asked my wife to stop spending $600 a month on yoga lessons.  She refused.  I could not believe it.  It took a few huge fucking fights, but after about six months she finally realized we had no money and she stopped.  A few months later she admitted that she was wrong for doing it.  But come on - $600 a month for fucking yoga lessons?



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191,058 This isn't most men, but I hate when men don't treat women like people, and wonder why they don't get get female attention.  If you treated women like people, they would actually like you.



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191,057 I hate that I'm depressed and never can do anything.  I wish I could just be happy.



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191,056 I never liked Matt Lauer. That's why I never watched that morning show. I'm not sure why I didn't like him... if I had to guess why, I would say that I probably sensed his cold, possibly cruel nature... Come to think of it, I don't particularly like the way he looks either. He reminds me of a rat.



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191,055 There's a special place in hell for anyone who wishes that they harassed more people. What the fuck is wrong with you?



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191,054 I don't know who I am.



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191,053 I have peeped in my ex-wife's windows.



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191,052 I wish I had sexually harassed more women. All these guys were having all this fun and I was getting nothing. I missed my chance.



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191,051 I still drink Bosco.

61, M



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191,050 Plain women aren't all “decent” = ordinary looks do not automatically equal goodness. Are you kidding me?  Beauty does not always equal bitchiness, evil, and/or flakiness either.

Any above-average-looking woman can tell you the truth about (some, not all) Plain Janes out there — they're so desperate for a mate that they'll use any means at their disposal to get one, and once they have a significant other, they'd be willing to slit another woman's throat if they think she might be a threat.

Another species of Plain Jane is DYING to take other women's lovers from them. This treacherous creature is always so “sweet” — she'll befriend other women with the intention of getting close to their husbands or boyfriends.  She's the scrawny, mousy, or overweight “friend” who hangs around your man like a tick, trying to get him to confide his relationship problems to her.  She thinks that her backstabbing tendencies are justified because the man's wife or girlfriend is a pretty bitch who can't really love him, so Miss Plain Jane thinks she'll “rescue” him from his evil wife's clutches.

I've now had three “friends” try to “rescue” my attractive, successful, and charming husband, and every single one of them started out as the adoring Plain Jane friend who was super-sweet, who I included in social events because I felt a little sorry for her.  They always bide their time, get friendly with my husband, find reasons to start messaging him and calling him.  Then they pick some HUGE fight with me (“She was giving me all those dirty looks that time!") and WHIIIINE to my husband about how I'm SO mean!  He'd try to extend some sympathy, try to calm her down, get her to reconcile with me — and that's when she makes her move. “I can't handle your wife! I think she's abusive, especially to you….”  

Then he'll finally wake up and realize he's being played, at which point he'll cut contact with her. Then she'll stalk him for awhile until she finally gives up and disappears back under whatever rock she lives beneath.

This has happened three times since we've been married. I'm not even including the two Plain Janes who tried to attach themselves to him during our engagement.  Sorry, ladies, he married me, and he's going to stay married to me regardless of your silly histrionics.  

The latest one of these little stalkers tried to file a restraining order against me, but didn't make it past the court clerk because she couldn't prove I'd ever said or written a single cruel or threatening word to her, and so didn't have a shred of evidence.  Apparently it never occurred to her that there are people in real domestic abuse situations who might need those legal resources she's tying up to whine about "dirty looks" she thought she received at a party.  Hate to tell ya this, sweetie, but judges who dispense restraining orders are familiar with the tactic of trying to use the courts to get revenge on the innocent wife of the man you're stalking. Yeah, really. They are.

You can't automatically trust the plain ones — they're just as unscrupulous as anyone else.  I've gotten to where I trust my attractive friends more than the plain ones, because a beautiful woman can get her own lover and doesn't need to try to poach someone else's.  They also aren't so starved for attention that they'll imagine the slightest kindness extended by a man means he's secretly in love with her.

46, F, Happily Married 21 years with no restraining orders filed, or granted



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191,049 Haha, Millenials talking about World Issues like it's the first time bad stuff is happening!



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191,048 Two months ago I was laid off. I asked my wife to stop spending so much money. She ignored me. Last week, watching our bank account dwindle, I told her again to stop spending. Today I received a call from the local jewelry store. They said her new necklace is ready for pick up.

Let me ask, why do women do this? Our financial situation is dire. The last thing we need to spend money on is a new necklace. So why does my wife buy a new necklace? What's the psychology? Is it just greedy selfishness? Is it some syndrome where a person does the opposite of what they should be doing - like laughing at a funeral? I need to know. I need to understand. Or I need to divorce her.



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191,047 The ruler of N. Korea is going to nuke the USA. Then WW III will begin. It's coming. The guy has nothing to loose. His people are starving. He wants the rest of the world to suffer in the same way. All of us should go on a nice vacation. Hug our families. And skip paying your bills because life as we know it is about to end.



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191,046 God, I need sex so badly! Only a good man will do! When will you deliver my next bpyfriend/lover in a committed relationship?  Please hear and answer my prayer!



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191,045 I don't worry about your ailments, anymore. I don't actually care if you abuse drugs or if you're alive or dead. Why I ever cared, I'll never know. That was a one way street I'll never go down again.

Indifference took a long time, now if only I could forget you ever existed. C'mon brain.



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191,044 I love you, A. I can't help it. You are perfection...just as you are.



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191,043 Poor Matt Lauer.  From what I understand it was he who got Anne Curry fired.  Karma got him big time!



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191,042 I want to be in a thrupple. I don't know if they'd let me though



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191,041 I interpreted my dream from 2 nights ago based on the symbols, and this is what I got.

Dream #1: I have the desire to escape to a time when my dreams will become reality. Someone has been pushing my buttons, but I have been looking at the positives anyway. This may mean that an essential part of my emotions has been cut off, and it is making me feel repressed. This situation makes me afraid. I feel like I'm being forced into a situation that is fearful for me, and I am having an identity crisis because of it. This is causing me to experience major emotional turmoil that needs to be confronted and resolved. I need to let it out, and I will be satisfied.

It was too easy to realize that it's talking about confronting my new coworker that I can't stand. If you ever want to know what your subconscious is trying to tell you, go to (dream moods dot com). If you put the symbols together and think about what's currently on your mind, you'll come up with a summary like this one.



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191,040 Every generation thinks they are the last-dont worry-you are not. There are great things in store for the future I sometime wish I could be here to see it all. Our generation saw great chances. Future generations will see the world getting smaller and smaller. Exciting times ahead!



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191,039 I read the secrets about how China is going to take over and I want to care. I do. But it doesn't matter because the oceans are acidifying, the bees are dying, the polar ice caps are melting. The human race is going to be wiped out in about 40-50 years. So it doesn't really matter what language our children speak.



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191,038 Well, that was a fun job.

Sigh.



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191,037 I'm not sure how zippers work. I think no one knows how they work. You pull the tab and the metal pieces connect. You pull the tab the other way and they disconnect. I think we're looking at some kind of alien technology.



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191,036 023 op here. Not that the two are mutually exclusive or anything, but honestly I was referring to net neutrality. I love how the nationalists just take shit and run with it. I doubt they even understood wtf I was even saying.



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191,035 Heart palpitations basically non stop for 5 days now.
started menstrual cycle. all hell broke loose.
darkness, gloom, looming above me at all times.
I hate being female. so much. hormones basically control my life.



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191,034 If your husband goes to bed later than you every night it's because he's jerking off in another room.



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191,033 I recycle my cans, not because I want to save the environment, but because I need the money.



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191,032 today i'm wearing socks his holes in the soles. it's okay because i'm wearing leather boots so no one can see the holes. when i wear flats i make sure to wear socks with no holes. most women i know would throw out the socks with the holes. i don't. why should i? they're still socks. i can still get use out of them. this is why most of my friends have no money. they're so wasteful.



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191,031 China is not our friend, not our enemy, it is our rival and it is overtaking us.

.



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191,030 I go on organized cycling sessions twice a week. We are a group of about two dozen serious riders practicing for bike races. There are mostly men involved. I'm one of only a few women. I have this ongoing fantasy of getting a flat tire. One of the men stays behind to help. We both get black grease on our hands and legs. He suggests we stop by his house a few miles away to wash off. His wife isn't home. There is so much grease on me he suggests I take a shower. He comes in the bathroom while I'm undressing to give me a towel.... This is what I think about while riding in the group. It motivates me to keep up with the pack. The fantasy doesn't work if I get a flat tire while all alone. The men sometime comment about how I can keep up with their pace. Yes, well, I can't quite tell you where my energy comes from. :)



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191,029 All you do is use me and it's draining. We are now in a deficit of energy. You've taken so much from me that you're overdrafting at this point.

I thought we were friends, but I'm just who you call when the man in your life rejects you - then I have to listen to you cry on and on and on about it.

Then you ask me for advice and don't take it.

🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

I'm all done. Lose my number. You suck.



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191,028 When the commuter rail supposedly stalls out, has a "mechanical failure," and then starts running again 10 minutes later, I always assume that the conductor just wanted to go have a smoke break or take a quick phone call.



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191,027 I check to see if failarmy has a new video every single day, and every time they do, I think of you.

The last one we watched together was the Funny Kid Fails in February 2016.
I will miss you forever and ever, and pray to whatever is above us to guide us back to one another, because I know I messed up, but I will love you forever.



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191,026 024,,,SPOT ON.  And frankly kids should be learning Mandarin right now.
If anyone believes it is a happy coincidence  that Ivanka's 5 year old knows Mandarin, you are mistaken.  She is being groomed NOW to get into family businesses later...and they know China has potential to supersede the USA as the #1 global power.  
Saying that scares me, but it is the truth.  Open your eyes and look around, everyone.....



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191,025 People who blast their bass while driving through neighborhoods are bullies.



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191,024 Regardless of whether 1 or 1 million protest, you and your children had better learn Mandarin AND Hindi as a 1st language.  

Don't worry, your children and grand children will understand why.



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191,023 As much as I admire the tenacity, bravery, and spirit, I just don't believe any of us little folks make a difference. The corporate elite will have their way, regardless of whether 1 or 1 million protest.



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191,022 016
Look into Lucinda Bass her material saved my life



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191,021 I just watched an film that was an adaptation of a Kafka novel , and then went straight to james franco...Paolo Alto and then spring breakers...all about some people wanting to break some kind of cycle and its really messed with my head, as if I wasnt messed up already.



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191,020 Do they have emotional intelligence? Are they able to keep their emotions under control?
Flandering is one thing. Emotional promiscuity takes flandering to the next level.
Animals have few inhibitions when it comes to sex. Animal sex isn't that difficult to understand.
Emotional situations are just as pesky for some people. But humans should know better. (I found the love of my life again! Can you believe it? Only ten tries)



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191,019 107 well of course there have to be other things too.  Kindness, good character, sensitive to others, empathetic, etc.  Simply saying that the plain janes tend to appreciate things and men more.  But you have good points.
Cheers!



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191,018 Yeah, she's the one who has panic attacks everyday, but everybody says I need therapy.  Fuck this shit.



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191,017 The plain woman shit... You won't necessarily be happier with one.  Guys think a plain woman is the way to go, easier to be with but they cheat too.  Sometimes more than obviously attractive women because they're not used to getting attention, so when they do forget it.  I have a friend who took back his plain ex after she cheated on him, she's super plain and demanding, I hear her arguing with him a lot.  Whatever. Guys think they'll get their needs met by someone like that... Don't judge on looks.  It's really more about how flirtatious someone is, insecurity, sensitivity, stuff like that.



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191,016 I guess it's time to be re-evaluated. This time last year I sought therapy because the anxiety had gotten so bad. Felt i needed to work through some of the heavy shit from my childhood. I'm 33. It took that long and 3 kids that I love to get me to therapy. Denial is a powerful force. I feel I can't deny how i feel much longer though. It may end my life this time. The brain fog is awful. The apathy. The lack of interest in basically everything. The sense that it's too late to attempt to change any of it, because why bother? I suppose that's depression. Falling into a hole. Never climbing out. I don't even cry. That's how disconnected I've become. Empty. Emotionless. My kids and my husband deserve better. Maybe they would actually be better off without me.



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191,015 With all the bad going on in my life I don't need Rocket Man firing missiles at me. Who needs that kind of worry? Why is he doing it? What's his beef with me and Hawaii? We are kind people. Come have a drink with us.



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191,014 I hate Probiotics! i took ONE, three days ago, and JUST got over being NAUSEAS every single time i ate food!  Threw up a few times too. Fuck you, bacteria.



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191,013 Facebook says that the first nine friends who pop up on the chat list aren't decided in any way by who is looking at your profile.  This has to be bullshit.  I live near two women.  I never talk to this one woman.  She has suddenly started showing up on my chat window.  At the same time, I can see she looked at my LinkedIn profile.



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191,012 Studying the microcosmic orbit. Almost want to share with others but kind of want this secret study all to myself.



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191,011 I am a lifelong drug addict. A conscientious, discreet, and careful needle user (not heroin at any point even once), Female, pushing 40, no children and one very happy cat. This worked for me and despite the consensus that I am empty of my soul and not whole, I was happy enough and had a history of loving interactions and a couple really beautiful relationships and memories that I will always cherish. I still have that past and appreciate the wonderful things I've been gifted no matter how much I'm supposed to expect any of it to last forever to be valid. I have always practiced ham rreduction because I felt my life was worth the effort even if society thinks I might as well let my whole being fall into disfiguring neglect. As it worked out I am still pretty and have a nice smile and can still show my arms in public without being noticed for my habit of absolute disdain and taboo. It worked for me. I had and still have a good and non addicted assortment of true friends. My mom accepted me as I am and didn't reject me as a valid person even knowing I shot up with the same hands that worked for her because she is unable to work anymore.  I never have given any of my self esteem over to men who thought my drug use made it okay to treat me like garbage, I am either important to them and loved or they are given a pink slip. I'm a human being and I love with my entire soul and being an addict did not make all my good deeds and my sense of duty bull and void. And it worked for me...


      But, it couldn't be allowed or left alone. I got busted by the cops with a felonious drug in my possession, during a very minor traffic stop which quickly escalated into a very invasive and Dehumanizing cop-fueled shit storm. Went to jail for the first time and was treated like I was not worth keeping alive or having any basic needs met. That one day in jail showed me how awful people can be while they hide behind a blue wall of cold and mean spirited sentiment/actions,  that calls what they do "protection and service." But it's not that any more than calling a traffic light a robot makes it able to evolve into a self aware sentient being. The way drug users are kicked into the pits of fringe living mercilessly; and for no reason (but amusing cruel people who like to do things they'd never do to a DOG), is sickening and it's considered perfectly acceptable by so many people who justify it by simply not being an addictive kind of person and therefore unable to feel that it's OKAY TO BE NOT LIKE THEM. Think about all the times people have thrown away a child or a spouse or close friend on the whole principle of not being able to ENABLE them.  As if keeping your child alive is suddenly not worthwhile if they're not sober enough to keep the non addicted world ddicted is synonymous with being NOT WORTHY  OF ANY WAY TO EVEN MAKE RESOURCES FOR OURSELVES. And so addicts are systematically and aggressively stripped of any societal respect even if they are honest and hardworking and noble humans. They are given the most cutting treatment and told they are not worth existing or having any ease of survival for this one thing that makes them feel less abnormal and more connected to their inner beings. Some die as a direct result and the ones who don't get to be second class kick plates for the ones who decided what doors are okay and what doors aren't.  I never understood this until I began a 2 year supervised probation for possession.

   I do understand now, and it's devastating to be a probationer who got unlucky that one night. I am so angry that there are people and laws that  are itching to and more than happy to lock me in a cage for something that I've always done in a way that harms no one and should be a personal decision. I've never one fucking single time stolen anything, hurt a person while impaired, driven drunk without regard for others lives, gone out and caused public disturbances, or abused my (hypothetical)  children so I could be high. I should be allowed to self medicate and keep to my own self without the government taking my entire way of life away from me and forcing my money out of my hands and stripping me of dignity and making my name a worthless thing to have. It's so fucking intrusive and I don't want to be made to deal with this stupid goddamn status quo of theirs completely  unable to change my mood to suit the amount it sucks to be who I am in the world I've ended up living
In. I want these jacked up bullies to take their arbitrary impositions and go fucking far away from me. And they will not and there is not a thing I can call freedom anymore. They took my life away from me and I will never fully regain it or even come close. It's just theirs forever and for always.

    This reality is mine and it's the result of pure and true insanity on an ENORMOUS scale. It's too big to overcome i think. I just cannot BELIEVE OR UNDERSTAND how this came to be the way the world operates. It's just not right and it's not necessary and it's too easily accepted by those who have never been treated like filth for no real reason . But it's my reality and it works for the society that prefers to hurt the ones who don't follow their every directive. It has effectively killed me and I didn't want to die.



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191,010 Correctly or not, I assume all pickles are filled with preservatives and are a leading cause of cancer. It just that no one realizes this is where cancer is coming from.



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191,009 I recently saw a mom going down the aisle of the supermarket with her kids in tow. At one point she reached over and grabbed a bag of chocolate chip cookies. She opened the bag and gave cookies to her kids. One of the kids whined that he doesn't like that kind. He wanted peanut butter cookies. So mommy dearest grabbed a bag of peanut butter cookies, gave one to her son, and then put the opened and partially eaten bag of chocolate chip cookies back on the shelf. I am amazed at who people are when they think no one is watching. Makes me wonder what else they do.



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191,008 Sometimes when I glance quickly at the clock on the wall I swear I see the second hour going backwards for a few ticks. Then it's as if it suddenly notices I'm watching so it goes forward again.



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191,007 But she sure looked hot before you married her, huh?  Suffer now with the psycho witches you all choose over decent plain women.



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191,006 I never thought shopping malls could be replaced. But they are on the decline because of Amazon.

I never thought Microsoft Windows could be replaced. But it has been beaten down by the MAC, iphones and Linux.

Now I'm looking at Google. They used to have 82% of the search engine marketplace. No one could beat Google. But in the last few years their market share has fallen to 70%.  Tick tock Google. I think the big bully is going to take a hard fall.



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191,005 There is no unconditional love.



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191,004 There are times I hear a liquid sound in my skull. It's like water trickling out of a faucet. I'm convinced I burst a blood vessel and blood is leaking into my brain and I will be dead in a few minutes. I'm still standing though. I wish I knew what the trickling sound is. Does this happen to anyone else?



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191,003 The woman I'm with now loves me unconditionally; that's something you were never capable of.



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191,002 Next Christmas I'll be having a blast back in Australia or maybe Germany , while you'll be here with my miserable drug addict, alcoholic, soon to be ex husband, be careful for what you wish you for you men get it .

P. S. I don't have to worry about mortgages or rent , my father owns a couple properties which I'm always welcome to have one .



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191,001 You don't cheat on and lie to someone you love so it looks like you're the loser.



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191,000 Don't forget...you had someone who loved you, and you turned your back on them. You're fucking stupid.



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