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191,599 My dad is 66. My my mom is 110. Or something like that.

They first met at a wedding when they were both 22. The date was May 25th to be exact. My mom was the cousin of the bride. My dad was a friend of the groom.

As they tell the story, my dad was having a drink at the bar with his guy friends. My mom came over and asked my dad to dance. He said no. She said he really must dance with her because it was her birthday and what decent man would turn down a girl on her birthday...

Being a nice guy, he danced with her.

They started dating. In October of that year she mentioned her birthday was coming up, October 21st to be exact.

My dad was like what? I thought you said your birthday was the day of the wedding back in May. My mom said she lied so he'd dance with her. They laughed it off.

My dad of course bought mom a birthday present on Oct 21st.

But charmer that he is, on May 25th of the following year he bought her another birthday present to celebrate her fake birthday. He took her out dancing of course!

And thus began his tradition of celebrating her birthday on both May 25th and October 21st each year. Two birthdays! He says she's so special she deserves both. Aww.

The running joke is that since she has two birthdays a year, then we get to add 2 to her age every year. It's only fair.

So my dad is now 66 and my mom is 110. Or something like that. :)



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191,598 A paedophile attempted to kiddie-fiddle me once when I was perhaps eleven or twelve.  I was travelling alone on a lightly-occupied suburban train during the day on a weekend.  I'd hardly entered the train carriage and seated myself next to a window before some stereotypically creepy old man sitting on the other side of the carriage got up and seated himself right next to me.  He tried to engage me in conversation, and then proceeded to touch me indecently.  I was naive and not really aware of paedophiles at that age, but I knew that something inappropriate was starting to happen.  Fortunately, the train then stopped at the next station, and a group of ticket inspectors entered the carriage.  From the way they spoke to the creepy old man, I got the impression that he was known to them.

I've never mentioned that incident to anybody.  It didn't affect my life, and it's not the kind of topic that one naturally segues into during most normal conversations.  It was only later in life when I became more aware of such matters that I realised that I might have dodged a bullet when those ticket inspectors turned up.

I retired a few years ago from over a quarter-century of service with a government agency that mandates the most stringent level of initial and ongoing security vetting for all of its employees, and that vetting includes psychological assessment.  Even that doesn't detect paedophiles.  I've since learnt through local newspaper reports of a couple of people from my old workplace being convicted of possession of child porn.

One was a man in his forties whose section area I was once a frequent visitor to, although I had almost no interaction with him personally.  He struck me as a quiet and not well socially-skilled bachelor, but otherwise unremarkable.  The other person was a single man in his twenties who worked in a section area close to mine and with whom I had occasional interactions.  He also struck me as unremarkable apart from the fact that I knew that he had run up a number of notifications for lapses in following security protocols.

There was no suggestion by the prosecution that either man had attempted to groom children or to otherwise act out on his fantasies.  They were convicted just for possession of child porn.  For those who would argue that possession of child porn causes no further harm to the victims roped into its production, I would refer them to the ban on importation of ivory products.  Sure, banning importation of ivory isn't going to bring the elephant back to life, but the hope is that lack of demand at the "retail" end will ultimately trickle up the chain and reduce the incentive for poachers to kill elephants in the first place.  Ditto for child porn, and there is the additional heartache for victims of child porn knowing that degrading imagery of them is out there in the wild forever.  However, the fewer people having that material in their possession, the fewer people there are who can distribute that material further.

I read sometime an article written by a former insider in the paedophile scene claiming that money isn't necessarily the motivation for sickos to produce child porn.  Some apparently like to produce and upload it onto the dark web to big-note themselves in the underground paedophile community – in effect, seeking "likes".

However, there is one aspect to some of these kind of prosecutions that disturbs me.  The defendant might have been found in possession not just of material with actual human victims, but also in possession of (say) drawings or comics or suchlike which depict children in sexual or abusive situations.  In the latter case, while the material is distasteful, there is no actual victim, and, as far as I'm aware, paedophiles don't get "converted" to their ways by a drawing or a comic.  Indeed, such materials might otherwise serve as a victimless substitute for child porn involving actual people.  I observe in reporting of trials that the prosection might note that the defendant was found to also possess such drawings or comics or whatever, but that it is regarded as a less serious offence.  What disturbs me is that possession of such victimless materials is prosecutable as a crime in the first place.  If there is no victim, why is it a crime – unless we are prepared in an otherwise liberal society to host in our repertoire of laws what appears to me to be a thought crime?

My secrets are what I disclosed in my opening paragraph, and the opinion that I expressed in the previous paragraph – an opinion that is of an unspeakable nature in our society.

M/60s



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191,597 I feel so lonely!



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191,596 I feel so lonely!



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191,595 My husband did this really warm romantic thing once... oh wait, that was someone else's husband.



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191,594 I'm in my early 30s, dating, and have noticed several terrible trends. I should consider publishing them so that people know why they keep getting ghosted or why things don't work out.

One of the most annoying, however, is men who insist on talking on the phone instead of texting, and then call while doing other things or, even worse, while talking to other people.

(I'm also not a fan of a man who insists that we talk instead of text, and then has nothing to say, expecting me to carry a conversation, but that's a post for another day.)

I recently stopped talking to a guy because in his very first phone call to me, he was playing pool with his nephews. I guess he had a headset in or something, because he was talking to me while simultaneously being with them. It was extremely annoying and I can't imagine how he thought I would be fine with that. We had not even met yet, so I'm trying to make a good impression, and I imagine he would be doing the same. Huge red flag.

I just had my first phone conversation with another guy, and what do you know? We are literally in the middle of talking when he loudly interjects to me “I wasn't talking to you, hold on” and then proceeded to hold a conversation with his friend for over two minutes. I had no idea the friend was even there.

What?!? Are you kidding me?!  You can't pick a time where we can talk on interrupted for a few minutes? I'm already annoyed that I have to talk to a relative stranger on the phone, and then they make it weird and awkward and unpleasant. In what world would I actually want to date you?



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191,593 Yep. Basically every time I see a clean cut white male in America, I think pedophile. I'm generalizing. But you just look creepy. If you're talking to someone younger and naive about Jesus, even creepier.



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191,592 The sick and twisted society that is US men needs to be taken down to its knees and have it's head sliced open by barbed wire. The sick pedophilic acceptance is startling and disgusting. Porn sites selling sex with underage girls is proof that we live amongst a large amount of pedophiles, and it's widely accepted. You've been brainwashed. To the core. Rotten and stinking of filth and there is no hope for you, or need for you in this world if you think it's okay for children to be exploited for sex. Rot in hell, sick assholes.



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191,591 No wonder why your nose looks like the shape of a dick. It's an indicator that both either that's all you're good at getting or more like your nose is always up in everybody's ass. Business, nobody likes a nosy person. Guess that's why they call you nosy drama queen.
Maybe if you learned to stop telling lies and wondering what everybody else is doing wrong. Your nose might shrink a bit Pinocchio. ;)



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191,590 I've been married nearly 40 years. It has been great most of the time, good when it wasn't great, with only a few bad spells mixed in.  I am a very lucky man.

I don't post often because my words cannot describe deep, honest, make your insides weak affection, nor can I accurately portray the joy of sex so good your toes get cramps from curling.

Happily married men are out here.



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191,589 Dear Husband,

I know everything.  

You won't ever see the shitstorm coming your way.  

Sincerely,
Your wife



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191,588 577 - I don't think it's weird or bad that schools do that. Teachers are mandated reporters of child abuse etc. and sometimes the signs are not very obvious.  

All adults should protect children but unfortunately that doesn't always happen.



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191,587 That's because you know it's true.



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191,586 I made fudge for a Xmas party but I mixed up the measurements for vanilla and milk so I put in way too much vanilla and too little milk. This may end in tragedy.



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191,585 My God, I loved every second of it. The deep and heavy breaths, his soft and gentle caressing of my arms, kissing as if we were desperate for each other, locking eyes while pleasuring one another, and the force with which he threw me around, demanded what I do and exactly how, devouring my body with his teeth until I screamed no, slapping my thighs until the bright red fingerprints covered both sides, the whipping sound of the crop just before the strike and the burning sensation left behind. The cuddling and pillow talk. How he kissed and gently rubbed the red marks after, then cooly chatting while smoking cigarettes on the patio. Me begging to taste his cum again, sending the pictures of the bruising left behind the next day.

He asked me how long this had been going on. He knows. It's been nearly 7 years now I've known this man and spending give or take 5 of it dying inside wishing we could be together. Granted, it was neither of our choices whether we could be, it was not possible at the time.

And now this, his admitting that he needs time to get over her. I am now on my own. It seems the time is right this time. God I hope so, or I might truly die.

I can't take that heartbreak right now, please let this be real.

Yesterday I was high, just giddy, and today I am weeping in sheer fear that I have to await his reactions and choices.

All I know is I am going to try my damndest not to let this one get away.



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191,584 Yes, we're talking to you Stephanie!



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191,583 Fake, hypocritical, two-face. Explains why you can't keep a job.
Or boyfriends. With your judgemental I'm above everybody attitude. I'm sure you'll never be able to even obtain one longer than a year. I'm sure your coworkers will only smell your toxicities seeping through your fake friendly smile. Snake!

Love Always,
Nick's



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191,582 I never had a boyfriend abuse me. I make it very clear in the beginning that I have guns and am not afraid to use them if need be. I shoot and I won't miss. With that understanding I've never had a physical confrontation. I've had great relationships with good men. I'm Just am not interested in settling down. Love having Lovers though. Hey, it works for me.
F/60



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191,581 I developed trichotillomania when I was 10. I'll have it the rest of my life. I had it under control for a long time. Maybe I'd pluck a few hairs here and there, but that was it. I had long, pretty hair, and I'd get it cut and colored all the time.

4 years ago, it came back with a vengeance. I haven't been able to wear my hair down since it came back. There are some times when I've been able to stop for a few months, and the regrowth was very promising. But then I'd destroy it and pull it out, and I'd be back at square one. It's the top of my head where I pull from, so my hairstyle choices are messy buns and French braids and ponytails. Sometimes I can wear it half up half down, but it can be hard to conceal the thin spot  with that style.

I miss going to the salon to get it cut and dyed. I miss flat ironing it and wearing it down. I miss being able to wear it in any style I want. I have numerous excuses at hand when people ask me why I never wear it down.

I am trying so fucking hard this time to keep my hands out of it. But sometimes I can't helo but feel discouraged, and all I want sometimes is just to shave it all off. But I resist the urge to grab the razor and continue trying to let it grow back out...wish me luck.



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191,580 I specialize in dating abusive men. What I can't figure out, am I attracted to abusive men? Is this why I date them? Or is there something in my nature which drives otherwise good men to become abusive towards me?



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191,579 You must be kidding! There is a new claim of sexual harassment. This time from the female reporters covering professional sporting events. They say when they go into the players locker room, the men are sometimes naked.

What!!!!!!!!

You are women walking into the MENS LOCKER ROOM! Of course the men are naked. They are getting changed and taking showers. That's what MEN do in the MENS LOCKER ROOM.  But even this is called sexual harassment??????????

Get the hell out of the MENS LOCKER ROOM!!



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191,578 Buying through the internet can be such a fucking scam. I bought an item the other day from a big website. I qualified for free shipping. But they said it would arrive the day after Christmas. Fuck me. I needed it by Christmas. I had to skip the free shipping option and pay $12 to have it arrive before Christmas. Okay my bad for ordering at the last minute. Cost me $12 extra bucks. But get this, today I received an email saying the shipping will be delayed and now the item will arrive after Christmas. Like fuck you. I paid $12 extra for nothing. What's the difference between what happened and getting robbed at gun point? Nothing. Except the big website will get away with it.



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191,577 My sister is a teacher. She says in the school where she works the teachers are told to get the kids to draw pictures of their family and to draw pictures of the inside of their homes. Its called an art project but secretly its a psychological investigation by the school. They want to see if daddy is drawn looking like a monster and if mommy and daddy have different bedrooms and if daddy is ever drawn in the daughters room while she is in bed and if the student draws a weird room in the basement with ropes and chains. The school is looking for signs of abuse. I guess its good. But at the same time it seems wrong the school is tricking kids into giving private info about their parents.



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191,576 Why is it that I get the feeling that it's you?



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191,575 I highly regret choosing to stay with my current boyfriend. I messed up the opportunity to be happy and well loved. Now, I'm doomed to be unhappy for the rest of my life :'(



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191,574 -572, the church will do NOTHING.  Report them to the cops and the media.  I knew a guy who was doing the same thing, reported him to the church, and the church sat on it for 6 months before they even called me to ask what happened.  And then the church gave the guy an award a few months later.  Total bullshit... but kind of obviously hilarious.  But don't trust the church to do anything.



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191,573 572- please call the police. Don't wait for them to do it. Even if they do, you obviously have some information.

But don't call the newspaper. For the sake of the child's privacy.



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191,572 Grrrrrr. I know of an incident where a young boy, 1st grade, was touched inappropriately in a church setting. I informed the church officials. All I'm seeing is weaseling. Clearly the church doesn't want to inform the authorities. But I swear to God himself, if they don't escalate this in the next few days, I'm calling the police myself and not only reporting the original incident, but I'm reporting all the church officials too! And I'm calling the newspaper to tell how this played out.



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191,571 I want to write something in response to all of the evil wife posts. I hope this isn't against the rules. I don't mean it to be mean spirited.

When my husband has a day off, the older kid goes to school, the younger kid goes to daycare. He spends the day watching tv, going to the gym, doing whatever he wants. The only thing he does around the house is MAYBE start a load of laundry, where he gathers up a random assortment of his clothes and puts them in the washing machine and if I'm lucky he might even put them in the dryer.  The folding and putting away is on me. When I get home from work I make dinner, wash the dishes, take out the trash, get the kids ready for bed, etc.

Today I had the day off. The baby didn't go to daycare because why would we pay for daycare if I'm off, so I cared for him the whole day. I washed, dried, folded and put away several loads of laundry (including one of his random loads that he left in the washing machine), cleaned the kitchen, changed the sheets on all the beds, cooked dinner, etc etc etc. The only thing I asked him to do was to buy some diapers (they sell them at his work). I texted him an hour before he left so it would be fresh in his mind. He forgot to buy them. I didn't say anything.

He went to a concert tonight with his friends. He bought the tickets without checking whether I would be okay to stay home and watch the kids (he just assumes I will always be available). After he left, he texted me to say the night was looking more expensive than he planned, could I transfer him some money (keep in mind, he makes more money than I do- because I sacrificed my career for his- and I'm responsible for the majority of our bills).

I'm the one responsible for all of the doctor, dentist, optometrist appointments. I take care of all the stuff for school. I make the older boy's lunch every day.  We have had four snowfalls so far this year. I have shovelled the snow four times. My husband has shovelled it zero times. I do all of the after school activities, buy gifts for all of the birthday parties, take care of all of he groceries.

Have I denied him sex? Occasionally, but not because I'm trying to punish him or anything. Usually it's because he wakes me up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep and I just can't force myself to stay awake because I'm so tired. Usually if I'm not in the mood, I rally and get myself in the mood. If I'm in the mood and he's not (which happens a lot more than you'd think from reading all of these other comments) I let it go and don't try to make him feel bad.

Maybe this sounds bad, I don't know. But it's no less than every other wife puts up with. Maybe they don't put up with exactly the same list of things, but it's the equivalent. We talk about it when we're together.

The main difference is that we don't take this as being some kind of personal attack. We don't think our husbands are terrible people because they deny us sex or don't do as much around the house as we'd like. We don't read into it that they're trying to manipulate or control us. We recognize that they're human with good and bad qualities.

Personally, I don't usually say anything because there's no point. It's not going to change anything and there's no point in making him feel bad. It also sucks that when women do speak up, they're instantly labelled as "nagging" or bitchy (though I believe my husband would never say those things about me).

I love him. I do. He has a lot of good qualities. I'm not perfect either and he loves me too. These evil wife posts are mostly just mean and hurtful. (Okay, some of the wives definitely sound crazy - some of those are good stories.  But a lot just sound like whining). I don't know why these husbands feel so entitled.



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191,570 I can't initiate this, she must do it. If she isn't interested it can go very badly for me.

She used to grab me and she would make me grope her, but that hasn't happened in a while. Until the other day that is, in what could have been a totally innocent mistake, or very suggestive flirting. I still touch myself to the memory of her action and the feel of her against me.

It wasn't enough to go on though. I have to be sure of it. I need a better grasp of the situation to know how she feels. She needs to make me see without a doubt what she means. Even my asking or being suggestive will backfire if she was just being clingy.



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191,569 I really want to tell my boyfriend this fantasy, but his self-esteem is crippling. If I told the fantasy, he'd accuse me of cheating. That I was doing something behind his back in order to make up this story, but that's not true at all. I'm on my period which only happens every 3 months due to birth control and I feel like I become some kind of sexually-mentally dominate person. Usually, with birth control, I become sexually devoid. It doesn't even suck because I don't even think about it. I'm tired from work, just want to relax. I have barely any thoughts about sex or get turned on. It's not that I don't want to bone my boyfriend. The drive is just gone.

I'm thinking about going back to having a period a month. Sounds like such a pain... I have to wear panties and some suffocating crap all day. All the usual discomforts.

But, hear me out. I'm not being unfaithful. I'm just remembering the old days. When I was 21 and we had this amazing threesome. A sandwich between a firefighter and EMT. It was a great atmosphere. We rented a hotel room, I took a bath, they got the drunk munchies. We slept, got up and had waffle house in the AM. Everything was chill. We were mutual friends, had a healthy/normal relation.

Then we had 2 really bad 3ways. I was young and had bad judgment, or men turned out to have their own drama just like women. Then I got older and boring. I got a disease... I can't drink alcohol anymore (but I can smoke). I lay on the couch and write and pet my cat. Welcome to late 20s, fuck me. I get my period and shit starts flowing back into my brain and I'm like how did this happen?

Now, there this young kid in my office who would make the perfect threeway. I don't even know why. My brain just picked him. I don't even know what made me start thinking about it. But he's young, only 21. A kid in a suit who likes to hardcore drink on the weekends.

If my boyfriend was confident in our relationship, I'd love the idea of him being an older alpha letting me prowl on this boy. That's really the entirety of the scenario that makes me soak my panties. Let the boy drink, let, let him fall in love. Bring him in, bring him in... give him a taste and then tell him that I want 2 of them to take me. This shit makes me sound like a primal monster. But, it's true and what happens when my period comes. I want to be filled, but most of all, I want to truly enjoy being 26 with someone who is still very young and dumb. What's so hot about it is that my boyfriend is my other half. We have been living together for a decade. He is my other half, my partner, my mate for life. The man who really owns my soul and heart. I don't want him to hear fantasies like this and have him feel inferior. Why should he ever? He has been so sexually promiscuous, especially with me, and has done me wrong. But, that doesnt mean we cant be sexually devoid of kink completely, love. The ultimate sexiness is treating me like a queen. With confidence. To let me play like a tigress with her play toy while the king strokes her mane and takes her.

IIf we didnt bicker so much, if you took me a bit more seriously sometimes... not just grab my ass in our place and hope that leads to sex. Let's do something fun again, you know?

This boy? God, he is just a silly toy. Fresh meat that I want to milk while I'm pumped with seasoned seed from my other half.

Yeah, fantasies are fantasies.



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191,568 567: Me too!



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191,567 In all honesty, as soon as I see a complaint/secret about women and sexual harassment, I skip it.



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191,566 Men have such horrific attitudes towards women on here. Apparently the minute you put a ring on it we turn into a three headed monster that withholds sex and barks snide remarks all day long.

And I'm sure every last bitter male on here, in the most terrible of terrible relationship/marriages with these heinous monsters, I'm sure they're lily white and innocent with halos over their heads and a harpist following them throughout their day. I'm sure they are never mean to their wives, never hurt her feelings, always apologize when they do make mistakes and are super helpful with their children. I'm sure they're perfect angels and deserve all sorts of 19 year olds with tight pussies to ride their blue, bitter balls off into the sunset.

Excuse me while I go puke.



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191,565 Well, that certainly wasn't smart to say you want a longterm relationship, then fuck me the first night!
You will now be put in that great category of women I don't have to take out, yet will just fuck me when I want.



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191,564 I forgot I had a tampon in while having sex last night. I didn't remember until the middle of the night as I slept. Woke up from dead sleep thinking, not again. At least this time it wasn't in there for a whole week.



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191,563 Instead of firing all the women, you could just not sexually harass them. Problem solved.



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191,562 Screw you and your salty ass family you all need to get over it.



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191,561 This sexual harrassment stuff is crazy now.  Men want no women working for them, for real?  So you can just stop hiring women i guess, discrimination in other forms is real, people discriminate they just don't say it out loud...but how do you get rid of women who already work for you?  This would be really nuts if lots of places just stopped hiring women so they can be insured against sexual harassment claims.



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191,560 Sure, because they're all unjustified from disgruntled women.

This whole movement happening right now is just one giant cosmic coincidence.

It's an evil plot against “innocent” men.

Whew. Your company is safe now..



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191,559 191521 I know from experience that jizz in the eye stings reeeeal real bad.



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191,558 I was admitted to the hospital to deal with a chronic health issue. My Mom lives 8 hours away.

I posted on FB asking for good wishes as I was super scared of the procedure. My Mom loves to write comments publicly on Facebook in a way that moms would with heart emojis and I love you and all that.

But she doesn't actually call me. She doesn't even text me. She loves putting on the show of being a good mom who cares but its just a show. She is too self-centered to actually ever be a mom.

It took me a long time to see what my Mom did to me. I saw her neglect as natural and her lack in my life as letting me 'do my thing'. I now realize that I was never really raised by a Mother. Except when she wants to use the label of being called Mom.

Everything is about her and how people see her. Look under the hood an the engine is missing.

f/40



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191,557 I fucked a woman in the ass on the first date. I pulled out at the last second and shot all over her back. She immediately felt around back there with her hand and realized my load wasn't up her ass.  She said, "Aw, why'd you do it on my back? I wanted your cum deep inside me."

Now that's the type of woman who gets called for a second date.



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191,556 I am systematically removing all the female employees of my business, with no plans to ever hire another. Why take the risk? I love women and I have had some damn good ones over the years but these days, just too much risk. An unjustified sexual harassment claim from a disgruntled employee would ruin me. Thank God I found a simple solution.



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191,555 It seems like every couple of months, somebody in the area is arrested for child porn. I always wonder how there could be so many people into that kind of thing.

My secret is that I feel a little sorry for pedophiles. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely do NOT condone sexual abuse or the sexualization of children. That's not what this is about.

The thing is, I don't think we always choose what gets us turned on. There are a lot of people that are into a lot of weird kinky shit. (The difference is that most kinky shit is not illegal or harmful as long as it's done with another consenting adult). But I don't think anybody just decides "you know what? I think I'm going to try being attracted to little kids."  No. That doesn't happen.

Now for whatever reason, this person finds themself attracted to children. They can't tell anybody because they will instantly be labelled a monster. There is nowhere they can go for help or support. They are isolated and on their own with a horrible secret about themselves that they don't want to be there. They can't even satisfy it with porn because it's illegal (and absolutely should be). I think this is just a recipe for disaster.

I think there needs to be some sort of support or psychiatric care available. Or even voluntary chemical castration if it's bad enough. There needs to be some kind of non-judgemental help available.

Until they actually abuse somebody, they really haven't done anything wrong.

This is a secret because I could never tell anybody in real life that I don't think pedophiles might not always be horrible monsters.



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191,554 I'm into heavy metal and country mainly, but I can chill to some good blues. Top40? Boring and scripted. R&B or rap? Oh hell no.

But today, at work, I cried at my desk to a hauntingly beautiful rendition of Mozart by a teenager. Then again to a powerful acapella solo by a 9yo girl.  I can't tell anyone else. Nobody would believe it anyway.

48/M



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191,553 I hope I see you tonight and find out with the fuck is going on



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191,552 I moved 2,000 miles away 6 months ago and still havent told one of my best friends and she hasn't really figured it out yet..............i dont think anyway.



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191,551 I have been sick for over two weeks now. I need my husband and kids to go away for like, 24 hours. I need to lay in bed and read a book, have a bath, watch tv, take a nap and order in dinner. Then I need to go to bed early, sleep a whole night without anybody waking me up. I need to sleep past 5ᛆ am. Maybe even until 8ᚨ or 9ᚨ. I think after that I would be fully recovered. Then they can come back.



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191,550 Best piece of advice I was given as a new husband

If your wife asks you to do something, do it right away

Best piece of advice I can give a new wife

Be a wife and mother, but always be a POA he wants to fuck

- M married 18 years



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191,549 I don't get it. It's happened twice now where I've had a horrible anxiety day, one where I can barely function and am snappy and irritable to everyone, and I'm constantly on the verge of tears. There are so many erratic emotions involved, and it ruins my entire day.

Then, the very next day, I'm unreasonably happy. I see the serendipity in the world and giggle like a child at it, and suddenly I can see the beauty in life's randomness again. I'm good-natured, much more helpful to others, and I feel like I'm on top of the world, for no reason at all, even when nothing has changed since the previous day.

It's like the opposite of Suicide Tuesdays. So strange



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191,548 I'm thinking everyone should commit suicide at age 60. Why do you want to be any older? Your body and mental faculties start to decline. You become a smelly burden to others. You become a financial burden to others. Why, so you can drool while watching Wheel of Fortune all day?

Most everyone has had a good run. Life is enjoyable. But off yourself at 60. Leave the party at its peak.



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191,547 The thing about this sexual harassment issue is that women forget that sex gives them power over men.  The man who sexually wants a woman can be controlled by that woman.  Some women are just flattered by the attention, but a few women innately understand the power that sex gives them, and they work it to their advantage.  I know a woman who went from an administrative assistant to a department director in two years because she manipulated her male superiors.  I have never sexually harassed a woman in the workplace, but outside the workplace my life is filled with instances where my desire for a woman made me do stupid shit.



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191,546 512- I'm going to guess probably not as much.

1) There is probably a much more equal division of labour. They both probably work. Then there probably isn't one that's responsible for doing everything around the house while the other sits back and watches tv. So you don't have one person exhausted and overwhelmed and resentful of the other.

2) They don't have to worry about birth control. Hormonal birth controls, like the pill, totally kill the sex drive. So they're probably hornier. Also their cycles probably synch up so they're probably both super horny at the same time, which is probably awesome.



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191,545 Do successful people usually commit suicide? I read an article that entailed so. Is it because successful people are usually raised to appear and appease society and try to live up to the "status quo". Or expectations of others? This article was very interesting. Is it really like chasing after the wind or trying to grasp oil with your bare hands, only to find out. During all that toil, one was still empty?

Here is a story line from this article.

He had this fear of having his finances exposed,”  says his sister, Andrea. “He was used to being a success. I think the final thought going through his mind was this sense of entitlement. If he couldn't live the way he deserved, as a success, then life wasn't worth living.”



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191,544 Nick, I'm so happy about all those extra hours you're putting in at work. Loving every minute of it.
Sorry babe, that your stuck, trapped and have no connection with her anymore. And your really only staying for your boy. I'd hate being married to a high maintenance spoiled princess of an adult pansy.
Well good thing you don't have to change her diapers to. Can't wait for next week. ;)



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191,543 The only thing that's cloned Is that goddamn cock looking nose of yours.

Sincerely
The Conspiracy Theorist ;)



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191,542 I get so tired of everyone getting so worked up over "the issues". The hand tries to swat the fly on the forehead and hits the eye. The majority of us did not become rich and powerful, either through sheer laziness (yours truly) or incontrollable circumstance. And we should most definitely have a fucking say. And we do, without word of human or law, have the right to complete autonomy, but we don't. We fork our freedom off the plate and into the dog's mouth. Then we snap and share our little pooch for the price of neurological pattern recognition and geolocational stalking. Then we (hopefully) make and name something (art; anything damnit) before we die and are forgotten.



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191,541 Sex with my husband sometimes feels like im being punished. My depression has taken away my enjoyment of it completely :(



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191,540 There is no God. Get real man!

Therefore God didn't have a son.

Therefore it's a little insane to celebrate the birthday of a non-existent person.

Yet we have a trillion dollar per year industry doing just that.

It's nice to give people presents. Not knocking that part of it. So why don't we keep giving presents, but we call it "Giving Day" or "Being Nice To People Day" or even "Festivus".

But this Christmas thing, and the way it rivals the Hanuka thing, and the way we aren't allowed to even say the words anymore in schools, it's nuts. Let's undo it and start over.

Happy Festivus everyone.



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191,539 Like clockwork my wife changes into her pajamas every night at 11ᚨ.

Like clockwork I find a reason to talk to her in the bedroom at 11ᚨ ~ not because I have a burning question ~ but because I'll get to see her naked for a moment.

We might not have sex as often as I would like, but at least I get to see her naked once a day.



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191,538 I've spent 3/4 of my married life sleeping on the couch.  50+/f



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191,537 I frequent this site to take notes on how to avoid being a shitty wife. If any of these secrets about terrible wives sounds remotely like me I change my ways immediately.

Over 5 years in and we rarely fight and have a great sex life.

30/f



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191,536 I want to realize my joy, and then I want to actualize my joy.  I want to live a life of joy, I want to actualize a life of joy.

<3



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191,535 #Metoo....in lust with 514...lol. Too bad am too young for your fantasy. M/36.
I hope you find than older man and come back here & tell us about the encounter. That was some serious steam :)



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191,534 Last year when my father was in the hospital dying, I didn't go see him because I didn't want to spend the money for the airfare. I was saving it for a large flat screen tv.



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191,533 I masturbated this morning to the thought of a man's hands and forearms.



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191,532 I worked from home today.  I finally figured out a really difficult problem.

I figured out to best organize the pictures in my porn folder.

I did it by renaming the photos.  First letter is a code for race.  A = Asian, B = Black, W = White, AR = Arab, I = Indian.

Next, there's a letter code for hair color (only if they're white, of course).  BL = Blonde, BR = Brunette, BLA = Black, RE = Redhead.

Then there's a two-letter designation for which of my female friends is in the picture.  AM = Amy, HA = Hannah, PA = Paige, etc.  

Finally, if there's more than one pic of one of my friends, the last digit is a number. 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.

So the third pic of my white friend Amy with the black hair becomes WAMBLA3.

Much more efficient!



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191,531 Whenever I hear some people talk about the allocation of limited resources, I'm often reminded of Cohaagen from "Total Recall"

"Come on Cohaagen! You got what you wanted. Give deez people de air"

Also, the ending where he would rather die than give the people air. "No! Don't do it!" Then he is sucked out on to the rocks and his eyes pop out of their sockets.



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191,530 I plan to default on my student loan.



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191,529 I hate how my boyfriend can't sit still for one minute and listen when I'm speaking. I want to tell him something about my day. I'm not babbling for half an hour. It's one minute where I'm explaining something but that's too long for him so he turns on the tv and starts flipping through the channels. I'm beginning to think he's not the right person for me.



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191,528 I need this tax plan to go thru, only because it repeals the Obamacare mandate for health ins. We can't afford it, and we most definitely cannot afford to use it.
I'm neither Dem. or Rep., but I can say, from my perspective, Democrats don't have the slightest clue how fucking broke I am, and Everytime there's been a republican in office, my family gets a larger tax return than when a Democrat is in office.



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191,527 It sucks how a sports kid with a 1200 SAT score will get into an ivy league college, but an academic student with a 1560 SAT score doesn't get in.

Then we wonder why America's ranking in the world keeps falling.



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191,526 Some of the Costco products I buy are a great price, but they are passed their peak and stale.



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191,525 I've experienced a different kind of sexual harassment. I'm a straight single guy. I was hired by a gay boss. It became clear after the first few weeks on the job that he wanted to develop a relationship with me outside the office. I explained I was straight (not all single men in their 30s are gay). After this revelation, he totally had it in for me at work, making my work life difficult. I eventually quit.



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191,524 Yep, good looking women running themselves right out of getting hired!  Good luck with that.



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191,523 Year Zero is basically here. But we won't feel its totalitarian grip for a few years.



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191,522 @505- yup. :)



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191,521 About a second before I ejaculate my eyes automatically close. I have no control over it. Must be some Darwinism effect. If a guy gets semen in his eyes maybe the sperm swim around and get into his brain and do harm. I don't know. But that's what happens, my eyes close.

About 10 minutes before I ejaculate my wife's eyes close. This effect I can explain. She's asleep.



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191,520 I tell people I don't want a dog because I'm allergic. I'm lying. I can't ever get a dog because I have a temper. I had a dog years ago. I'd hit it when I was angry. I felt guilty as hell, but it wouldn't stop me. At least this go around I know not to ever get a dog again. Better for the dog, better for me too.



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191,519 The internet is done. Goodbye everyone. It was fun while it lasted.



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191,518 I stay in great shape because I don't trust my hubby. He's an angry man. I'm sure he's going to leave me one day. When it happens I'm ready to find someone new. Looks aren't everything of course, but with my body I'll have plenty of new potential husbands to choose from.



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191,517 I think Hitler survived WW II. Don't you think the leader of half the world, as well as being one of the richest men in the world, would have an escape plan? But no, we are told to believe his body was conveniently burned 10 minutes before the Soviets arrived - so he could not be identified. Very foolish for us to believe what we are being told about Hitler dying. He survived and lived out his days somewhere else.



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191,516 511 - I have schizophrenia, too.



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191,515 I am in lust with 514.  55/m with a nice big hard cock.



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191,514 I have these fantasies about what I want to do with men, they are not what would be considered normal, but regardless I have them constantly. I am a lot younger than the men I wanna do things with but older men just have that sexy thing going on and so I want SO BADLY to be able to have one look at me like I'm going to be his and that I will be made to relieve his hard and horny cock. He would have my legs in his big hands and I'd be on my back on a table  with my butt on the edge and he'd strong arm my knees apart and lean forward to see my secret place as my panties took the shape of my sex and showed him how perfect my little slit would be for his wants. I wouldn't even squirm or try to close myself back up, just let him look in absolute indulgence at my forbidden body and decide he was ready to see my pussy and get it full of his thickness.  He'd hook his finger under the crotch of my panties, pull it towards him, and open it fully with his belt knife. Leave my cut open little panties hanging open and still on my waist. The air would be cooler than before and I'd know now he was seeing my pussy before anyone else had seen it and in a way that was for women and men who fuck. I look down at my bare body and can feel how sexy I am and how much I must be ready to have a man do this to me now. My lips are swelling, they're pink, and between them is a wet clit that feels bigger every minute ; and below that a little hole that is shining and can feel the eyes upon it. I feel beautiful and he straps my thighs open while he starts saying nasty and lewd things like how much he wants to watch me split open for him and how fucking hot and tight my little cunt will be. Says he needs to fuck my pussy, needs to see my hole spread. He slides in a metal speculum until I am immobilized. Starts turning the key and prying my tiny pussy apart. I am knocked out of my breath and let out a painful whine at the object removing my virginity from my young body. I lay before him like this for a long stretch while he says how hot I look with my stretched open little fuckhole. He cradled my head gently and I take his stiff dick in my mouth to which he moans very loudly. He keeps his thick erection is in my mouth and gently nudges the tip into my throat as it gets harder. Finally he pulls out of my  mouth and I see a cock that is very big and there to fuck me. He says, "God I am going to give you your first fuck! I can't wait to feel your pussy sucking on my dick, girl. I want to see you take it and give me your little body. Spread your legs for me, wide and open!" As I comply, he'd stand at hip level and force my pussy apart to fuck away his urges.  It would hurt but it would make me feel complete and it would make me hold my own pussy lips apart to fuck him back and id find myself staring at his big, fat cock as it stretched my sex for his pleasure. I'd feel my pussy building pressure and my voice turn into howls as I lost control of my sluthole and had my first orgasm. I'd look at him and beg him to empty his fucking balls into my horny wet cunt...and he would. Grab my hips and hold me down as he forced my pussy to accept his pumps of sperm into my newly fucked tightness. That's what I want. I want a much older man with a formidable cock to split me in two and fuck me until I am a babbling and shameless whore who is obscenely fucking a man like I was born to be his fuckbaby.

35/f



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191,513 I think I'm becoming addicted to shoplifting. I've been stealing from Wal Mart at least daily, and sometimes multiple times daily. I stole a leather wallet from a leather store a couple of weeks ago. It will be a gift for my husband. A $75 wallet, and I paid nothing for it. The thrill of getting away with it is amazing. I am just worried my time is running out, and getting caught is just a matter of time.



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191,512 I wonder if lesbians pull the same crappy stunts as heterosexual women. Like do Lesbians deny sex with each other as a form of control? Do they act bitchy with each for no reason? Do they manipulate to gain money from their partner? What must that be like if both partners are women and doing the shenanigans with each other? It must be hell. Or maybe women only hate men so they only exhibit this bad behavior with men?



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191,511 If I listen closely, there are two thought processes going on in my head at the same time. The two halves of my brain working independently?

There is the dominant voice which is my conscious thought. But there is another voice in the background. Sometimes it is having a made up conversation. Sometimes it is repeating a word over and over again. Sometimes it is singing a song. And it is doing all this while the front voice in me is doing normal things like talking or eating or reading.

The background voice doesn't seem sinister. It's not telling me to kill people. But it's there and having thoughts of it own.

I know I sound a little crazy saying these things but I don't think science fully understands how the brain works.



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191,510 I avoid mirrors.



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191,509 I'm terrified for what today's net neutrality vote will mean for this country.



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191,508 Whenever I meet a decent guy, I find a way to fuck things up. One guy didn't want to commit, so I didn't believe it when he showed me he loved me. *showed*, not told. It was obvious in the smallest gestures, in his eyes when he looked at me, everything. It wasn't enough, so I lost it all.

Now there's another guy and it's 2 years later, and I went and fucked it up by having sex with a guy who's known to talk about the women he sleeps with. And not in a flattering way obviously.

So now this poor guy who cares about me told me what he heard so that I would watch out for my reputation and who I let get close to me. He gave me the whole "there are people that like you and people that value you" spiel, in a non-condescending way. I could see the hurt in his eyes. It was terrible. He's too good for me



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191,507 Seriously he will continue to come back to me. See sweetheart, no guy likes a chick that are only good for laying on her back. The biggest turn off is a female who can not be independent especially close to thirty and still co dependent on daddy and mommy. It irritates him to the core.
He told me you'll never grow up. Your parents spoon feed you.  A man wants a woman not a child. You clearly think you're a child or an immature teenager who lives this fantasy fake ass college life in a dorm still. I asked him who raises his son, he said everyone but you.
Like seriously, you think he's always cheating because clearly he said you've done it. Like seriously, we know you speak out of guilt. Nicholas will always have a special place in my heart. And I'm so glad he can open up to me and spend these holidays with me.

-TheX



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191,506 I steal shampoo from the gym.



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191,505 #504 have you ever gotten a married guy off?



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191,504 @501- some of us gay guys don't want all that. We want to watch a game, make some nachos, down a few beers, and suck off a buddy without any reciprocation. I hate to reinforce stereotypes, but many gay guys can easily separate sex from intimacy. Some of us just want to suck your dick. Personally, if I'm just looking to have fun and get a guy off, I'm more motivated by watching him squirm and beg, and really not into my own orgasm. And if you're half-way decent looking and relatively clean - you'll do.



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191,503 488- Happy birthday!



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191,502 Whenever I read some outrageous anti-Trump doomsday the-sky-is-falling headline on CNN..... I wonder what the real story is.



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191,501 @493.  

If only!!!  It sounds great.  Only problem is that the thought of another man kissing me or touching me with his penis is disgusting to me, personally.  Other than that it sounds like a dream.  Not hating...just saying.  Rock on my playin' for the other team brothers!



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191,500 Lord please help my side business flourish so I can leave corporate America in 2018!!!



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