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191,899 If she doesn't cover that up so I quit staring, I'm tempted to put my hand in there. Then.....


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191,896 I understand that good sex in marriage last a couple years, with the occasional crazy couple thing they always have great sex. but truth is even when I met my wife she did not give me an erotic hand job like that Asian massage just did


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191,895 I'm 43 and fuck 19-22 yer old chicks routinely. Oh and I'm married. Silver foxes be prowling ;)


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191,894 This site gives me hope.  I'm 46 and there's this 18 year old gorgeous woman I know who looks at me with these amazing bedroom eyes.  I'd been fantasizing about fucking the shit out of her.  But I'm 28 years older... but on this site, there's so many guys who did fine in my situation... just maybe it's possible, you know?


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191,893 As much physical and mental abuse you put me through I'm glad I could help you get the better life that you wanted. A house, a vehicle to drive and now you've been able to buy a ring for the girl you cheated on me with and got pregnant. I am happy for you becuase I never wanted a child with you and now you have eveything you've ever wanted and I'm glad I could help you get that. That's what true love is. I'm genuinely happy for you Cameron, now just refi the house and get it out of my name. Thanks!


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191,892 God I have to get my life together. I'm wasting so much time. I have. To get. UP.


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191,891 I believe cops have an alternate source of income, one which is not taxed. I know a cop. He bought himself a $400,000 motor boat. It was an all cash deal. Ya know what I'm saying... Nothing against it. I like cops. They put up with bullets heading their way. They find a little extra cash, okay alot of extra cash. Good for them.


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191,890 I've been banging my boss's daughter for a couple of months, which is weird. She's 19 and I'm 36. She's only doing it to spite her dad, who doesn't know.
One night I did her doggy-style and nutted all over her ass and quickly snapped pic with my phone. I was showing the pic to the guys at work and I didn't hear my boss approach. He saw the pic of his daughter's jizz covered butt. "Wow." he said. "You're a lucky man." Then he walked away.


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191,889 My narcissistic, Lying, Cheating, and Stealing wife, of over 20 years, is making my life a living HELL!
And has no empathy or remorse for what shes done...I wish she would just let me go....


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191,888 I know a cop that is married to another cop. They work in the same working class town with a population of 95,000. They recently bought a house for close to $1,000,000.  This wasn't bought with inherited money, or lottery winnings or help from their parents. Neither of them have college educations. All their co-workers have similar houses.

This is why i laugh when people say that cops are underpaid.


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191,887 My wife said we weren't exchanging gifts this year for Christmas so I only bought her a joke type gift, you know the small thing that is an inside joke item that when you look at it brings a smile to your face.
Found it in the trash this am, guess the joke is on me



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191,886 Play Misty for me ....


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191,885 I didn't get my wife exactly what she wanted for Christmas. I must be punished. So now she will sulk until New Years to teach me a lesson. Eye roll.


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191,884 What sort of maniac even touches another persons bedside lube!!


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191,883 My mom made gravy for the pot roasts on Christmas. But, she apparently ran out of cooking oil and decided to use coconut oil instead.  Except that she grabbed the jar that resides on my nightstand. The one I dip my fingers into daily right before I fuck myself or take my mans cock inside me. So...do not eat my moms gravy right now. The more you know!!!


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191,882 You know who should be next in the sexual harassment bullseye?  Commercial airline pilots.

Before I became a mom, I was a flight attendant.  (Best job of my life, btw.)  In the days before 9/11, we used to go freely in and out of the cockpit.  Sometimes we had to discuss flight information, or bring in meals, or just take a little break from the passengers.  And sometimes we went in to see cool things like St. Elmo's Fire, the Aurora Borealis, and even Haley's Comet.

Most pilots were respectable and professional, but many were not.  Some would flirt to test the waters (to see if there were the possibility of some layover sex, which is okay in a way), and some would be crude and tell lewd jokes.  And then there were the ones who would literally put their hand up your skirt as you're taking their drink order.  If a man did that to me in a bar, I'd literally punch him.  But at 35,000 feet?  Not possible without jeopardizing the flight/passengers' safety.  We basically just kept our mouths shut, because we loved our jobs, and really, it's their word against ours.  

BTW, the reason I thought about this is because I just came across something about Nietzsche, and I remembered the pilot who looked at me like I had two heads and treated me like a stupid little girl because I'd never heard of him.  And then I found out that the arrogant asshole was pronouncing his name wrong.  I own all of Nietzsche's works because of him :)


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191,881 The Game Show Host is going to bring World War III down upon all of us. Is that what we wanted?


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191,880 it being my orator and i may just start talking to Universe(God) in a blog but I need a name how about Una or Yuna? never see that space as empty never think it's up to you. Yuna asked for love for all and watched it hatch it's way on through, like... Yuna is galaxy mother rocking her baby.. heart of the baby heart of the mother glowing pink and warm and both contained within eachother arms circling.. every (thousand) years she would singe you with ice in burning hell if you stole heaven claiming their gifts from her as your own she does not see it that way.. she sees not rules or laws but what certain things were meant for. we call her she for that the cross was overasserted as a false gender on God a cross represents what is made of you.. and a life represents what is made of yourself by yourself.. this could be seen as a link between physical implications of life allowing the world to make shit of itself.. that is right it is important to know you make shit of the earth and then shit it back onto the earth.. the umblical cord is carbon connection. it's like if life were a tree it wouldn't look like spagetti



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191,879 I timed all my chores on Christmas Eve so I could only get to the last 5 minutes of mass. Pissed my wife off, but hey, I was wrapping presents, so she couldn't really get mad.


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191,878 Alright Katrina I gave you one last chance to change for the better. You blew it. I am calling child protective services on you. It is obvious that you can no longer function as a fit parent while intoxicated and pissing yourself.  Good luck. Hopefully this is your wake up call.


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191,877 I'm annoyed at the fake ass implants/injections. If I am honest, part of it is because I have a natural plump booty so it's like all these fake ones are coming into my territory. Everyone has good stuff, some have nice eyes, some have great tits, some have ass, so just stick with what you have. Also, we like to know if we like a guy we're turning him on, it's a turn on for us. I don't understand how, if a guy lusts your breasts and they're fake, or your ass and it's fake (which i think is much worse than fake titties), how does it turn you on? It's like, "I love that ass" "yea the doctor built it for me." How is that sexy? You weren't born with it, how does it turn you on to have a man lust your paid for body parts? Same goes for lip injections. I don't begrudge hair extensions, but when you have 3 or more things going on at the same time, it's like is it even you? Hair extensions, plus fake ass, plus super push up bras (which are fine on their own, that's all they sell anyway)plus contacts...who is the real you? "you have beautiful eyes" they're green contacts. Maybe on its own, it's an accessory, but in addition to everything else, it's like a big construct-a-doll.  That is sooooo not sexy.


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191,876 I did the least amount of preparing for Christmas that I've ever done in my entire life. I guess that it was kind of a humbug attitude, but I have to say it's such a relief.   I didn't have the uncomfortable get together with the annoying portions of my family.  I'm glad it's over


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191,875 Last spring my wife tells me she has bi tendencies she has suppressed for long long time now and she wants to explore. We are married and she does not want that to change so for me is it OK. OK, it was.

Now she has a friend, but I've never seen who the friend is. She wants that to be her private thing. What good is it having a bi wife and saying that is OK, if I can never participate? Didn't see that option, when that 1st discussion occurs.


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191,874 December 1st: Liberal politicians say the Trump tax cuts will ruin the nation. None of them vote for it.

December 20th: Hundreds of businesses announce that the Trump tax cuts will allow them to move forward with massive hiring efforts, raises, bonuses, and infrastructure projects.

December 26th: Liberal politicians announce that the Trump tax cuts did not go far enough.

Politics as usual.


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191,873 If I had a gun I would have already blown my brains out by now.


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191,872 864 My wife proposed to me. It was amazing.


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191,871 Final words on Fucker:

When the suicidal, alcoholic, addict dies, people like Fucker always say: I wish I would have known, maybe I could have done something. Why didn't anyone tell me? You should have called.

Well, I did tell Fucker (and a few other "friends" of my ex-addict) and he shut us out. God forbid that something happens to my ex-addict, and he dies, but it is a reality. And if ex dies, Fucker need not show his smarmy face around because he wasn't here for his friend in need. I am so angry. I feel so betrayed and alone.



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191,870 Why are you dead inside? 868


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191,869 Fucker III:

He is such a big hypocrite. More posts about crap like racism, white privilege, Trump, the homeless, addiction and sucicide prevention. Funny thing is, only one or two of his friends like his posts. Hahahaha


His post on the #MeToo: " To all my women friends: I am saddened by the experiences you've had that I have never experienced - and that I have never given a single moment's thought  My heart goes out to each of you and to my wife and daughter whom I treasure..... blah blah, blah...

Well Fucker is showing his ignorance. Guess he never believed unwanted touching, all the way to sexual assault actually occurs on a daily basis, AND Terry Crews - a MAN - was groped too. It's not just women who are victims, it's men, and kids too, who are used, humiliated and assaulted by perverts. And Fucker is finally realizing this shit happens in real life? Well, the post paid off because he got a lot of "Oh thank you Fucker" and "You're a great man" and a group hug. (rolling my eyes!)

_-Here are the highlights of his recent posts:
- Noah Trevor video on Trump and racism
- Jeff Flake (R) speaking out against Trump
(Flake is a terrible surname, I would change it, take the F off and just make it Lake)
- A white privilege video with a group of college students
- Elizabeth Warren (D) griping about some proposal
- Pics of Fucker with a former govenor's wife at a do-gooder luncheon
- Video about how black people built this country
- A political poet slammer
- Transgender woman legislator
- Close up of Fucker with former governor's wife again
- Black Lives Matter angry woman (no one liked it, lol)
- Al Franken (D), attempting to grope (Fucker actually condemned Franken)
- Female Senior Citizen who says she would vote Roy Moore because he has an "R" after his name  
(she's a confused, crazy, old lady)
- Manson's death
- Spacey, Rose, Louis CK and company (disgusting lot)
- Slavery in Africa today - black Africans enslave by Arab muslims in Libya - I guess Fucker
finally found out that slavery is alive and well - in Africa. I've known of this for over
years.
- Mueller and his lies - apparently Fucker had no problems with Hillary and her lies.
- Homeless in the USA - no one cares?
- Trump tax returns.
- Crazed old white lady who is a racist
- Chris Cornell - who got loaded and committed suicide which is so heartbreaking, but Fucker is cutting off his friend. Major hypocrite. Funny how Fucker can't be bothered to support his friend who may end up like Chris Cornell.

Fucker is angry and judgmental of anyone who dares to disagree with his opinion.

The bottom line here, is that he is negative and wants to engage in political discussions all the fucking time. Shut the hell up Fucker.


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191,868 I am dead inside


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191,867 Christmas is just another day.


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191,866 All I wanted for Christmas was a job. Didn't get one. Fuck me.



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191,865 Sadly , many people are the  way . I call them keyboard warriors, they spend their whole time posting about social injustice, income gap, poverty etc.... just so people can tell them how nice they are , but true is many don't do squat or practice what they preach . I just delete their stupid post from my Facebook page , I get plenty of those from the news I don't need them on my social networks.



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191,864 I just want to know if he would be ok with me proposing to him, or if he would want to be the one. F34



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191,863 Fucker Part II:

Let me add, that Fucker was all "Isn't it sad about Chris Cornell, Prince, Chester Benington and the others?" Well, yes it is Fucker, but you just dismissed a chance to help someone (a good friend, so I thought) in the exact circumstances.

So stop your preaching already, you don't mean what you say. You just want people to say, "Wow, did you read what Fucker posted? He really cares about others who are hurting."



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191,862 Merry Christmas Fucker. Some kind of friend you turned out to be.

Fucker does communications work for a mental health non-profit. He's always posting about social justice, esp racism shit.

Well, my now ex-boyfriend is out drinking and using drugs. He disappeared 2 weeks ago and will not answer his cell. I texted Fucker that it was over with me and ex and I let him and several other of ex's friends know exactly what ex was up to in the event that ex gets into serious trouble, or worse, dies, just so that no one is surprised.

I also said would need support from friends. The following morning, Fucker sent me a text telling me that he doesn't want to be involved in ex's life problems and has to protect his wife and child. Fine, but I requested support for me, not for ex. So I took a look at Fucker's Facebook page and sure enough he's posted about suicide prevention, homeless people, anti-Trump stuff and of course, those racial "issues" he won't quit whining about.

I find liberals so fucking hypocritical. They talk a good game about caring for those less fortunate, but when the rubber meets the road, they turn away when a friend is in need. And why can't they fucking shut up about Trump! Every other post is about Trump and Russians. We get it Fucker, you don't like Trump, but fucking simmer down, maybe find something else to discuss, because not everyone agrees with you and even if they do, maybe they don't need to hash it out every hour on their feed.

I, however, will not abandon my ex. I will be a friend to him when he wants to get sober. I will go to AA meetings with him too. I sure hope he makes it because he has a daughter.



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191,861 If my wife looked at me the way my girlfriend does, I wouldn't have a girlfriend.



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191,860 Zero disrespect or ill will received, I appreciate the comment. I know we aren't supposed to "chat" here, but I'll reply for the others wondering.

I see the joy in her face for a gift or three, but after it's all done, she is frowning and grumpy. Won't make brunch. Won't help me clean. Doesn't want coffee, but the wine bottle pops open early. She'll seek validation that her gifts were liked, but doesn't touch hers. Hers go in a stack in the closet for a month.

I broke our 'rule' this year to keep the gifts smaller, using my credit card and hidden cash fund to spend 500 on small but pricey things that were important to her. My gifts probably totaled 100, but I don't care. I needed new shirts and socks, and the other things were cute and I like them. She got what she asked for, as well as the "oooh I like" things she hinted at. Meh. She unwrapped them and said why she couldn't use them.

Fuck this, I'm gonna brave the weather and get a bottle of whiskey. I was happy. The kids are happy. She put her stuff away to take a nap. I'm going to focus on enjoying a few days off of work, fueled by tea and 80-proof.



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191,859 855, I don't mean to be unkind, but have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself if you might be projecting? I don't know your situation, so I beg pardon, but sometimes we let our own insecurities (eg: will she not like my gift? am I /or/ my gifts considered good enough?) cloud our judgement of a situation.



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191,858 I give up.



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191,857 I just took the most amazing dump! You know the kind that gives you goosebumps, and makes your nipples hard? The kind when your intestines move around and re-adjust after? The kind where you can pull your belt in another notch after? Yeah....best thing ever!



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191,856 She's beautiful. She knows it. I wanted to ask her to pose for the cover of my book, but even when her face isn't shown, her name unknown, she has hinted that she would never do it. This makes me sad.

She is an exhibitionist, she wants to be seen, she wants to be wanted, she wants to be lusted and desired. But a cover of a book (PG-13 shot), she refuses to do because it makes her feel cheap. It doesn't. It's sexy. It's world-wide exposure and erotic. But no. Damn it.

Well, thanks again internet.      sigh



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191,855 It doesn't matter what gifts the kids or I get for my wife, whether Christmas or birthdays, she always looks and acts sad like it's not enough. Not even when we follow her list, then add in the 'gifts' she buys for herself.

She later tells people how happy she is, but from her face on the day of opening the last present I know it's a lie. It's never enough. Not the books, the music, the cards, the electronics, the little stuff to a fucking brand new car. It's never good enough. There's never enough. I don't know why I even keep trying.

Edit: I'm 860



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191,854 Christmas Eve... headed to bed, wife pulled the covers down and gave me a mind blowing, blow job. Then looked up, showed me my cum in her mouth, and swallowed the whole load. MerryChristmas. 🌲



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191,853 It makes me sad to see my violin case. Playing the violin used to be my life. It was my doorway into college. Now it is nothing more than occasional prop to hold open my closet door. Things change when you become an adult.



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191,852 My wife is bitter angry about the Christmas gifts I gave her.

Of course she is. It doesn't matter what I give her. She is always bitter angry. I could give her diamond earrings and she would complain they are too small and a friend of her's has larger.



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191,851 When we met, you were still basically a kid. I had a brief moment of clarity when I realized I was too old for you. Not meant as a put down, or as a way to prop myself up. It was just obvious that you hadn't really found yourself. You had been through some stuff, sure, but to put this in perspective, I was living on my own, paying bills, adult world stuff.  At the same time I was dealing with all of that stuff,  you were somewhere else in suburbia filling out spelling workbooks and doing multiplication tables.  

I realized when you left you were still trying to find out who you are. I sometimes wonder if you ever did.  For me this whole process is about getting to know myself. When I met you I pretty much knew who I was. I never yearned to be something I wasn't. I pretty much knew who I was and I'm okay with that. Can I be better? Sure. Will I turn the world upside down on its ear? I mean, life is complicated enough without quixotic forays into self discovery. I don't need that. Life is a lot easier when you aren't chasing your own tail.

So I'm not getting on some superiority trip when I say all of this. I just know that realistically speaking, there is no you, at least the person I knew.  Prove me wrong if you want to, but I'm going to leave it where it was. When you left to find yourself, you shut the door on who we were forever.

It took me so long to reconnect back to that moment of hesitation and clarity, but I did. Boom, closure.



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191,850 Tonight I think I am falling in love... I am smiling once again... I think I may have finally found the love of my life. I opened up a helleuva Christmas present tonight.



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191,849 It's late Christmas eve.  It's quiet here which I can take to be either a good sign (if you are enjoying yourself) or bad (if you are feeling alone).

Perhaps this is folly.  But, for each of you who is feeling alone, please accept this virtual hug.  I must tell you from experience that sadness and depression haunt many of us.  And I'm still not totally free.  But I urge you, please do what you can to take care of yourself and those who love/care about you.  Make a connection.  With a counselor, a confidante, a confessor.  And tell them about the pain and emptiness you are experiencing.  

Please don't take your life, ever.  I struggle every day but I know that things can be better tomorrow if I ask for the help I need.

I wish you all to have a healthy and happy holidays.  And I will do my best to have the same.



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191,848 My wife does nothing for the family. She only does things that benefit her and her alone. It's amazing to watch her self centered approach in action. Sometimes I push and push to get her to help around here. Her response, she literally makes her side of the bed. That's all. Only her side. I've never seen an adult behave the way she does.



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191,847 I hate when people look over my shoulder when I'm on the computer.  Screen time is private time. Go away.



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191,846 My wife comes down the stairs this morning and immediately starts in with the yelling.

"Why the hell are you sitting around? There are things to be done. I told you to pick up sticks in the yard!"

She's so angry all the time. This wasn't my idea of marriage, but it sure is hers.



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191,845 Living in different countries as a child taught me a lot of things that you don't learn in schools. One thing is doesn't matter where you are there's always two types of people the negatives and the positives.  The negatives are always complaining, looking for some one to blame for their misery the positives doesn't matter what life's throws at them they always look at the bright side.  My secret I'm so tired of negativity and whiners , including some family members, I'm going to start blocking them from my Facebook, they drained me and suck the energy of me . They can go and be keyboard warriors some else .



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191,844 who cares if you are skinnier then someone else they are skinnier then someone too and once they could have been skinnier then you why dont you focus on your own health rather then what you look like



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191,843 The truth comes shining through.

There is a commotion down in the creek dell where it is usually quiet and calm.

People are forced to challenge their assumptions in order to get closer to understanding, comprehension and the truth.

The screech owls suck the air out of everything, The hawks said "fuck you" and flew away, hounded by crows who seem to pick on hawks just for the fun of it.

There is a goat stranded in the dell



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191,842 some people make vast assumptions, but you can always post it on the internet :D



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191,841 Desperate ugly slut go kill yourself already.



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191,840 Seen my fwb with his son's mom. She's fat and binge eats just to stay fucken afloat. I'm thinner then she is. My boy friend fucken told me that she got pretty big compared to me.
He text me pictures of them lately and I had to keep my fucken composure at work. That fucken I'm so happy of a fake couple Xmas picture made me fucken shit my fucken pants. I asked him why didn't you at least smile. He was like you know why. Can't wait to see him next week he has another gift for us.

Love you Nickolas



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191,839 If I won the lottery, I would use the money to build a time machine.
I don't know why, a quixotic quest for the last digit in pi

Getting there is half the fun!



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191,838 I've always been thin and fit.  Senior year of high school I weighed 110, and into my 40s I was only up by 23 pounds max.  The only time that I was heavier was when I was pregnant.  I gained a lot of weight, but made a vigilant effort to eat well and exercise and lost all of that within months.

*Since getting together with my current husband seven years ago, I've gained over 30 pounds.

*My husband was a normal weight when we got together, but has gained as well.  He used to wear a Medium.  Since this time last year, he's gone from a size XL to a 2XL.

*It was REALLY hard finding my husband nice shirts for Christmas in his size, because apparently all of the men in this area are fucking fat.

*My husband apparently doesn't want me to be thin.  Any time he sees me making a concerted effort to lose weight, he brings home my favorite junk food, takes me out to eat, or bakes a cake.

I'm not sure which of the starred items above disgusts me more.



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191,837 Stefanie,

All up everyone's ass. Then behind their backs you talk shit. You fake shit whore. As to why I told Nick you can never turn an evil sadistic perverted hoe into a housewife. It now explains why he's so miserable with you, or at least all guys are. You killed his sister. Now her sister's soul taunt's you, ever wonder why you're feeling suicidal?

❤️ Side Chick



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191,836 I wonder what people think about women who wear revealing clothing to gyms. Like sports bras and high cut leggings.



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191,835 I'm taking a little break from filling out my college applications --- to read some secrets and smoke a little weed.



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191,834 Irony:

I have chronic migraines. Months of pain and the docs will never give me opioids even though I know that a day knocked out with codein will break them.  They won't give them to me because of the epidemic. So... I suffer

My sister is a recovering heroin addict. I asked her to score me some pain meds on the street. She did.

Can you imagine? I have to go to an addict in recovery to get the help I need because it was addicts like her that made me getting the meds I know will work near impossible.

After 2 months of constant pain, er, urgent care, outpatient infusions... what worked was two vicodin some benadryl and sleep.



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191,833 It's no secret or accident that a country of people that has failed to support her most vulnerable (children, poor, elderly, veterans) is a failed state.

See all of Eastern Europe, most of Africa and a growing list of failed states in Western Europe.

It's funny, while China and India are looking ahead to the next 100 years of world domination and prosperity, there's a lot of foolish people looking down on the ashes of their miserable failure countries.



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191,832 The sad part is some people are poor because their mentalities. In my native country a lot of garbage parents put their kids to work instead of sending them to school, and while there's no such a free education in my country ( you have to pay for books, exams,etc...) it's still manageable if they wouldn't be popping more children than they can afford.  I used to feel sad and angry when I used to see kids selling candy on the streets but sadly the majority of them keep making the same mistake of their parents , it's a hard cycle to break and while the government it's crap in my country due to corruption it's unfair they blame it for them being poor.  It's not the government jobs to raised and provide for their children , parents need to be responsible.



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191,831 I don't know why anyone wants to live. Money rules the world, food is grown using plastic, and people are fuckups.

Bye.



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191,830 I will fuck, lick, and get sucked by my friend's daughter the minute shes 18. She wants it. Already planning on taking that hot girl out for cake, ice cream, and, whe clock strikes midnight, cock pussy n cum!



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191,829 My husband left me and the kids last night and told me to expect divorce papers soon. I'm so sad and depressed- Merry Christmas to us :(



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191,828 My wife's cousin is the worlds biggest hypocrite.  When she was poor she was very active in her church and looked down on anyone not giving their 10% tithe to the church.  About a year ago a spinster aunt died and left a ton of money to be split up among the cousins.  She immediately left/quit her church and bought a massive house in the next town.  She keeps claiming she is looking for the "right" new church but has yet to find the correct one and has currently given up her search as none of the churches have the right feel.  I asked why didn't she just continue to attend her old one as its maybe 10 mins from her house? The look I got was priceless....



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191,827 I have a job with messed up hours and days off. I told my family I have to work Christmas day...which is true. What I didn't tell them is that I'm calling in and spending the day drinking wine & getting laid. Some days I love my job ;)
51/F



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191,826 I will burn down a multi million dollar home before I die. I will make sure the fat cat bastard is still inside too. Your money doesn't make you shit.



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191,825 You married fucking bitch asking me if you get divorced if I'll be your boyfriend you're married and fucking someone else do you think I'd ever trust you??!!! you slut



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191,824 It may not be a secret, but I hate politics. I detest the arguing. I loathe the liberal alt-left for trying to destroy our country.

What is a secret is that my house has half on either side of the political spectrum. I feel like a failure as a parent when one child and my spouse are nasty fucking liberal socialist idiots. That is my greatest failure. I have a child and a spouse who is happy to follow the idiotic masses of sheep and take the word of stupid school lemmings instead of thinking for themselves.

I'm sad my family is contributing to the destruction of America. I love them, but they disgust me. I see why families fought each other in many wars, because of politics. It's insane.



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191,823 This morning I stole a CHI curling iron from wal mart. It was so damn easy. I had other things as well, so I scanned those, and paid for them under the guise that I was going to pay for the CHI separately. I pretended to get a phone call that distracted me and I walked out without paying for it. Had anyone stopped me, I would have played the "Oh gosh. I completely forgot. I was paying for it separately and got distracted. Here... Let me just pay for it now" Nobody batted an eyelash. That's a $60 curling iron that I just got for nothing. I may try it again tomorrow. Christmas gift for myself since the one I got this morning is for someone else.



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191,822 Friends wife hit on me. Said, " i resent him".
So he has the stress of her, and she fucks others. Got it.



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191,821 It's clear California hates Trump. Now California is burning to the ground. God has spoken.



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191,820 The bullying girl cliques in high school never go away. They continue into adulthood. But now their tongues are sharper and they have much more money to flaunt. Forget ISIS, white suburban moms can be the most awful people in the world.



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191,819 My wife buys annoying crap for christmas. She got our teenage son a $20 wall calendar showing pictures of dogs. I asked why? How was this a personal and thoughtful gift for him? She said she saw him pet a dog last year. That's how it works with her, he pets a dog once and he gets pegged as a dog lover who needs a dog wall calendar - the perfect gift for him. Except it's not the perfect gift. It's a lazy thoughtless gift. But it's easy for my wife - that's the key point, it's easy for my wife - so she gets it for him and then can say she put in an effort, which she didn't.



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191,818 Every time i get diarrhea i think about the fact that my asshole is puking its guts out



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191,817 I fall in love a hundred times a day.  Last night it was at a Christmas concert I always go to, and there she was on the dance floor.  She drew me in with her eyes, she had some kind of glitter on her eyelids so when she blinked her eyes lit up like a glitter ball.

And then there was the hair.  I love brunettes and she had that going on all over the place.  She knew how to apply makeup because she had these stunning cheek bones that were accented when she smiled.  Her dimples would pop and her straight white teeth would light up the dance floor.

The best part is that when she walked by me she was older that I first thought.  She was stunning, and for a moment I was in love.



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191,816 I was looking at a diamond pendant and earing set which would be perfect for you but then I remembered how you treated me this year.  You are getting a generic boz of chocolates and soap I like.  And if you make a fuss,  if you are a ungrateful bitch about it,  I'm spending the difference on a prostitute,  hell can afford a couple with the savings.



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191,815 the end doesn't exist. Moments as I know them fade into eternity.

They put me to sleep when they pulled my wisdom teeth. Give me twice the dose and finish the job. Except...

Eyes closed, I stare in the general direction of those I love, the face of God

The lights stream together and explode across the sky.

I'm frozen in time. There is no end.  



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191,814 iPhone, you suck.  I'm switching back to Android.



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191,813 I pay $17 per month for health insurance. I very much like Obamacare.



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191,812 Batterygate:    

Dear Mr. Apple,

For Christmas, can you please stop fucking with my phone's CPU and slowing it down?

I won't be buying any more Apple Products this Christmas or anytime, ever.



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191,811 I won't have kids, because I will probably beat them senseless.

Oh well. They're assholes.



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191,810 This shouldn't be a secret but here it goes:
  If a man thinks that watching the evening news is more important than having a conversation with the person laying beside him, then he's with the wrong person.



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191,809 I miss my kids. I miss my dogs and I miss my best friend. My life is over.



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191,808 Just got my new toy from bad deagon. Bigger than I thought. But my wish was for anyone to be naughty with. Yes I am married, but my husband has MS. So as a busty under 30 wifey, I am expected to remain sexless. Never mind he knew I was polyamorus. Now he wants to impose rules. I know he's just afraid I'll leave. But I won't  if was just allowed to fuck something.... my sex life should not be over yet



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191,807 Today is my first day home. Six more to go.

I can do this!

People who drive in Fairfield County CT have to be the rudest drivers on the planet. I am so grateful I don't live here anymore and at the most I only have to come here twice a year.

If you stop to let a person go ahead of you they look at you with the most exasperated expression, it's comical really. Never a thank you wave.

When I grew up here, sure it was wealthy, but it wasn't so narcissistic and bitchy. Wtf happened to this place?!

My mother fits in here perfectly.

I find comfort and solace sitting on the hill at the cemetery visiting my nana and watching the ducks.  

Not everyone sucks here, but for the most part, it blows coming home.

Christmas hasn't felt like Christmas since 1999, the last Christmas my nana was alive. Every Christmas since has felt like a lie. Like a void. Fake.

Hopefully kickboxing while I'm home will help the time go faster this year. Excited to see and be with the rest of my family, but I like to love my mother from a serious distance. She's so mean and sarcastic.



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191,806 When I was 14 I became involved with an "older" man. He claimed to be 27 to my 14, anyway. Some might call him a predator but it wasn't like that. I didn't look 14 and we never actually "dated" or had sex or even kissed. But we were close. We were the worst kept secret in that whole restaurant. Even his fiancée turned wife probably knew. But I sure never cared and I guess he didn't either. He even introduced me to his then two year old daughter. This went on for almost two years.

I don't know why he left or disappeared like he did. Maybe disappeared is too strong a word, but I've tried looking for him on social media and nothing. 16 years later I still think about him and those days every day. Of all the guys I've been involved with since he's still somehow the best of the bunch. I never had to wonder if he liked me or if he cared. He always made time for me. He should have wanted to hide his interest in me but he never did.

I guess my biggest secret is that I really fear I'll never find anyone to care as much for me as he did. I miss you most at Hanukkah time, Jimmy. Even if you probably don't remember me at all.



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191,805 Some women believe it is their job to find all the faults of their husbands. They never miss an opportunity to degrade their husbands. This is their definition of marriage, chief critic.



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191,804 Smoke em if got em cause itz goin down



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191,803 My wife told me yesterday she has no sexual fantasies.  No 'fuckit' list. She asked for mine, and said to send her a list, so I did. It wasn't all true though. I put some popular stuff for guys, but kind of off the wall for most people, knowing they would never happen. Hoping she'd take pity, I put some easy but sexy stuff too.

Nope. She was even more upset with me for being such a looney pervert. Sigh.

I understand why she didn't want to help me nurse a breastfeeding woman, but a selfie mirror boob flash from a public bathroom (optional second woman lol), or a double handjob also got me a dirty look. Dammit.



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191,802 Called a parent of an 8th student today who has been a huge behavioral issue in my class. I thought maybe by talking to th parent, they could address their child's defiant, disrespectful attitude. I've done nothing but try to help this kid.

Do you know what the parent said?

“Well, I have no control over how my child behaves at school. That's your job.”

I wanted to be be sarcastic and thank her for giving me the job of raising her child, but honesty I think that's all I really need to know about why this kid makes my life hell in class. My mother would have found a way to reach through space and time to smack me in the face if I treated my teachers like this kid treats his. I see where he gets it...



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191,801 796, Congratulations!  What a wonderful accomplishment, good for you.
Merry Christmas!



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191,800 A good friend and I once traded pictures and videos of our wives. Topless, sex scenes, boob flashes, shower shots, etc. He got nervous about his wife finding out, so he deleted all of my wife's boobs from his phone, and he asked me to do the same for him – just in case. It made me sad, and I said goodbye to each one before I deleted it. I wish I'd kept some.

It's been a few months since he said he was going to try to get me a few pics of her sexy new bra, and I'm sad that he hasn't yet. My wife won't let me take any more shots, and she won't send me any more either. I'm worried that he and my wife aren't sharing any more because our wives found out and put a stop to the sexy wife porn.

We both know we shouldn't have done it, but damn it was fun while it lasted. I still see his wife every few days, and I know what she looks like naked, and what her orgasm face is, and how her boobs bounce when she flashes just right. I wish we were still sharing. Maybe if we can get the girls drunk enough at the New Year's Eve party…



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