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192,899 I sleep on the couch when I have gas. I don't explain this to my wife. It would be too embarrassing. She thinks I'm on the couch because I'm mad at her. In return, she gets mad at me. I can't win.


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192,898 I don't think Fidel Castro's son killed himself. I think some entity was worried the son would take over Cuba and continue the Castro reign.

How coincidental that the son suddenly decides to kill himself.

Wake up people.


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192,897 My bosses are my parents. They're bossy, controlling
And overbearing. They'll never let me find my balance in life. I'm their only son the only child.
They've manipulated me all my life to believe that I've
Had to fit in or search for acceptance.
I've never considered the idea of living the life i want, change job every time i want without feeling guilty about it, change cities, countries, just live like I've always wanted to.
I see now how it's all has just been part of their manipulation. I've been mentally abused to the max where it's already ruined my psyche.
I had a dream the other night that I gradually poisoned them both. I put drano in my dads coffee and radiators fluid in my moms Gatorade. I took the family inheritance.
Moved with my girlfriend.  People thought they had died of a heart attack or natural causes. I woke up feeling like shit yet so free.
They weren't allowed to hurt my anymore.
My best friends at uni tell me that I remind them so much of Gypsy Blanchard. The difference is I'm a male version of her.





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192,896 Read your email. An email inbox that you have forgotten about....  


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192,895 I’m so horny I would love to feel a man touching me, suck his cock and let him bend me over. I can barely pay attention lately


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192,893 My undies and what they mean.

If I'm wearing a black lacy thong, then I want to fuck you. The sooner the better. You don't even have to wait til dinner is over.

If I'm wearing boy briefs, my new fav, then I want to chill and drink beer and watch X-Men. I probably don't want to fuck you, but I might consider making out with your sister.

If I'm wearing pink panties with words printed on them, like "Slippery When Wet", please shoot me because an alien life force has taken over my mind.

If I'm wearing ripped, stained, thread bare, gray panties, it means... well you know... whatever... just go with it for a few days k?

If I'm wearing bathing suit bottoms, it means I have no clean laundry. lol. (This is unfortunately true and happens more than it should.)

And if I'm wearing my granny panties, don't fret. It doesn't mean I've suddenly become boring and unsexy. It probably means I was in a hurry this morning.  There's still a kick-ass vagina under there.


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192,892 My boss was caught lying about the profits of our division. He was faking the books. He did this on purpose so he'd get a bigger bonus. While all this was going on, he also pissed off two clients, reneging on deals, to the point where they sued the company.

Now what do you think senior management did? Did they fire him?

No, they made him head of the division.

Ya gots to love corporate America.


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192,891 I am a plumber. Plumbing codes in most communities are strictly adhered to. What it means to people who poo and pee is that hot water on the left, cold water on the right, and poop goes down hill. If you poop or pee in the shower the waste goes directly into the same drain as the toilet. It is not a mystery or dirty or anything like that.


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192,890 My sister never graduated high school. Today she is the head of personnel at a pretty big company. Her department interviews and hires college grads and PhDs. He he he.


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192,889 I don't tell my husband about the guys who hit on me. It would upset him.


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192,888 Reminder: it's only once you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.


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192,886 After menopause my wife tossed all her thongs and bought new granny panties. Says it all.


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192,885 Maybe I've watched too many movies and news clips and youtube videos, but I'm afraid to do anything out of the ordinary because there are so many cameras in our world capturing everything we do.

I won't masturbate, pick my nose, scratch my ass, look at a woman, roll my eyes, glance at porn, get naked with the lights on, etc.

Maybe I'm paranoid but it seems that in today's world there is too high a chance we are being recorded.


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192,884 My tween daughter has started using the shower in my bedroom because its newer and nicer.  the other day she asked me: "Dad, do you pee in the shower?"  I of course lied and said no.  She said "good..cause thats gross."

She didn't ask - because it would not yet occur to her -  if I did anything else in the shower.  Dearie.. If you only knew how much I whack off in that shower....


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192,883 -Remember who you are and what you stand for
-The truth shall set you free
-If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all
-Knowledge is power
-The only person who can make you feel guilty is yourself
-You'll feel better if you tell someone how you feel

These are some of the phrases my mother would always tell me as a child and still to this day as I'm an adult. I didn't understand most of what she meant back then but as I get older they're starting to make sense, and in more ways than one.


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192,882 My wife's best friend told us her husband is filing for divorce. She cried and cried at my kitchen counter. I acted all consoling. I called her husband confused and an idiot. But if I ever bump into him, I'm going to give him a high five. The woman is a bitch.


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192,881 I had dinner once with a priest. It was extremely boring.


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192,880 I haven't done any form of exercise in over 20 years. I'm still ticking.


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192,879 I never laugh or cry. I don't feel anything.


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192,878 I was in the backyard picking up sticks after a wind storm. My wife comes home, walks right up to me and asks, "Are you taking a nap?"

I was in the family room watching TV. My wife comes into the room and asks, "What's that beeping sound?"  I mute the TV. I hear nothing. I tell her so. "How can you not hear it? It's right there in front of you!!" She's angry. I look in front of me. There is a newspaper. I pick it up. She says, "So you do hear it!"

I come home. Her car is parked on the front lawn.

We are at a restaurant. She says she has to use the bathroom. She leaves the table. She never comes back. I have the waitress check the ladies room. My wife isn't there. I call her on her cell phone. She answers. I ask where she is. She had to use the bathroom, so she is using the one at home.

A half gallon of (melted) ice cream is in the cabinet with drinking glasses.

I can't find my car keys. I ask my wife if she knows where they are. She says yes, she put them in a safe place, she put them in the mailbox.

**********

This is my world.


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192,877 Online dating is a fucking joke. It gives people the right to be assholes because they're not confronting a person face to face. UGH! I hate this! why cant I just meet a nice man at the grocery store or coffee shop? is it really that fucking hard to bump into someone and say hi? online dating has made everyone cowards and assholes. Maybe I'll just be single forever :(


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192,876 How in the hell do I find someone affordable to teach me an entire high school education...
-Sincerely, the sober junkie trying to create a future.


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192,875 My in-laws are SO goddamn stupid.

My husband's sisters and mother are the worst. Right after we got married, they harped on us non-stop about when we were going to have kids, because it would be great to have a good big family for Jesus!

A few years went by, nothing happened, probably because I was on the Pill to control my endometriosis. The endo got bad, excruciatingly bad, and my doc told me I had large fibroids as well.  So I had a hysterectomy because my husband and I had decided by then that kids didn't look like something we wanted.

The in-laws just would NOT shut up about WHEN WHEN WHEN we were going to start pumping out kids! We never told them about the hysterectomy, believe me. But one night when they were REALLY all up in my business, I told them that I had endometriosis and fibroids, which made it unlikely that I would ever conceive.

The next morning, my husband told me that his mother and sisters had wanted to know... had he been tested for this endometriosis?  Did he know if I had potentially given HIM fibroids?!  He needed to go to the doctor and get checked.

YOU DUMB BITCHES they're naturally occurring genetic conditions, not STDs you indescribably braindead trio of useless biomasses.  I did not get them because I cheated, I got them because my DNA strand was programmed that way.

That entire clan has the collective intellect of a box of hair, no lie. I have no idea how he turned out to be so smart.


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192,874 I was supposed to make $312.00 today. Instead I’m at home with my puking child. My husband can’t miss work, so that means I have to. I hate that this makes me seem unreliable. The kicker is that my husband is on salary so he would be paid regardless. I’m not. I definitely could have used the money.
#workingmom


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192,873 Once I was at a pool party at a friend’s house and I was changing in the bathroom and one of the guys accidentally walked in on me when I was completely naked. He apologized. I was super embarrassed and figured he probably was too. I planned to just forget it happened and never mention it again. Nope. He told everybody and joked that now my husband was going to have to fight him for seeing his wife naked. I laughed it off, but it actually really bothered me a lot.


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192,870 I saw an article on Facebook where six strip clubs on Bourbon Street were fined for lewd acts.  I guess like the acts I participated in when I had a drunken threesome with two strippers there 15 years ago.  Greatest night of my life.


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192,869 I'm pretty sure my dad took me out of his will and that kinda sucks.


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192,868 I'm so fucking high right now! Vicodin plus some stink bud makes me happy.


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192,867 I know when you really need/want a job, you sometimes tailor your answers and statements to what you think the boss would like to hear.  Hey, we've all done it, and we can adapt if necessary.  But I hate when people do the bait-and-switch.

A coveted spot on our team opened up recently when someone had to leave.  Many people expressed interest, but only a few were invited to a team interview.  There was one guy who seemed to have a good temperament, a great knowledge base, the necessary ambition and integrity-the last of which is so important in this business-and especially to our team.  One of the biggest plusses was he stated that he planned on being in the office *as much as possible*, which is absolutely integral to our kind of work.  I had a funny feeling about him, but it was somewhat mutually agreed to bring him onboard.

He started last week.  Today marked only the 2nd time he was in the office, and it was only for a few hours.  He then proceeded to ask me what days and hours each of the team members are in the office, AND THEN stated that he didn't want to come in if too many people were going to be here.  Note, there are only four others of us, who are in and out a lot of the time, and an Admin who is there all day.  He said he wouldn't be able to make phone calls if there were more than one or two people there.  So basically, he lied.  

Not to mention - he wears VERY casual clothing (not even business casual), sometimes raggedy (noticed that he had duct tape on his belt the other day), has sores on his elbows and smells like he doesn't shower often :(


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192,866 I am prone to obsession. IF I can keep my focus on good it'll stay off of you.


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192,865 I admit I go to the gym to look at pretty women. There's more though. I don't know how my gym doesn't realize this, but there is a swimming pool. Off the pool area are doors to two locker rooms. One male, one female. There are blocking walls so you cant see directly into a locker room when the door opens. But management has put a full length mirror on the blocking wall by the women's locker room, I guess so women can make sure they look okay as they come out to the pool area. But the way the mirror is placed, I can sit in a lounge chair by the side of the pool. When the locker room door opens, I can look at the mirror and see right into the locker room. It's the shower area. I can see naked women. If I know this, don't the women know it too? Doesn't management? Yet no one does anything about it. Why? Because I don't think women mind. I think they like the tease. They like knowing guys are seeing them naked for a second. All the while the women can pretend they didn't know. Their reputation and "pureness" is intact while they get guys excited. This is a brilliant design.


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192,864 Written for a long-lost lover. Found in my email today. Sadly, in 5 years, nothing in how I feel has changed.

I would ask you where you are but it doesn't make the difference. the difference can be a mathematical interpretation consisting of the the space that is found between us. The space that is uncovered between you and a lamp post, between your ocean and some sea...or the magic number of your fisrt born, & perhaps the number you once dwelled on. The number she may yet be when she finds you & asks you numbers of questions, in which only one answer is needed, perhaps...
Distance-time-space-
immortality in a photograph.
Hold my camera & offer passerbys immortality for only $1! Immortality for only a buck!...& I recall your photograph, one in which you are eating chocolate cereal or some other garbage disguised as breakfast, and looking hot as ever, after waking up in the floor.
I understand your profound ache for time or the poetry that wraps its beautiful blessings around its own ironic event, unfolding, refolding, turning and twisting, transcending, always with an ache that never retributes but exists only in exit...existing in exit.


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192,863 I've got a political secret for you. Actually, an anti-political one, and it's not too big of a secret, but only if you pay attention.

At the bottom of this page, there is a link that says 'archives'. Use it. Every 100 posts has a new page going back to the beginning of CC. I've spent the past month on the list, coming back to the main page every few days to groan about the huge amount of political whiners and a few real secrets, just to stay current, before going back to the archives. Some back when are political top, but not as much. It's also more fun and enlightening.

I've even found the dozen or so posts I made years ago, and it made me laugh (and kind of sad how things haven't changed much). You should check it out.


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192,862 I must be depressed. I'm so tired, all the time. My brain feels like complete mush. I feel the way I felt when I was quitting antidepressants. That was over a year ago. I don't know what happened. I switch between thinking I'm dying to thinking it's just depression. I can't keep it together much longer like this.
Nothing excites me. The idea of doing anything makes me feel exhausted. It's like I view living as work and I'm too lazy to live. How the hell does a person pull themselves out of this? There should be nothing wrong with my life to make me feel this way.


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192,861 I don't understand gyms. You want to be healthy, go for a run in the great outdoors. Go for a hike. Swim across the lake. Ride your bike up and down hills.

I think some people go to a gym because it's not about working out, it's so they can be seen by others. They are willing to pay $1,000 a year for the mindless vain thrill. They need better priorities in life.


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192,860 I just feel so blah -- I mean, I'm not depressed and I know lots of folks have it worse then me. But still. I can't get over this feeling.


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192,859 I grew up in a crowded household. I longed to live alone. I went to college and had roommates. I graduated college but due to rent costs, I had roommates. Finally when I was 25 I was making enough to get my own place. Yippee. I signed the lease on a one bedroom apartment. It lasted for a month before my girlfriend moved in. Then we got married and had kids...

I'm now 50 something. The only time I lived alone was that one month period half a lifetime ago.

Sigh.


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192,858 I'm never late. It's my superpower - to always arrive on time.

You might think it's nothing. It's not like laser beams coming out of my eyes. But imagine if the Dark Lord was trying to destroy our world. Everyone knows a laser beam can be deflected by a dime store mirror. Duh. But the Dark Lord has never encountered someone like me. What if I call him out and tell him to meet me behind the high school bleachers at midnight.

I of course arrive on time. He saunters along 10 minutes later. Tough luck for him. According to the rules of superhero engagement, you can't be late. He's automatically disqualified. He has to return to his evil galaxy with head in hand. The end.

Being on time is a pretty cool super power to have. It also makes me fine with the ladies. I'm at the restaurant by 7: 00 sharp. Chicks dig guys who are on time.


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192,857 I still feel guilt and remorse over things I did 50 years ago.

* When I was 5 I innocently told my aunt how my mother doesn't like her. It was true. I heard my mother say she didn't like the woman. Then when my aunt came over to our house I told her. In front of my mother. I got the leather belt. To this day I feel terrible about having opened my mouth.

* When I was in first grade, I felt sick. I puked on my desk. The teacher yelled at me demanding I clean it up. Not only was I feeling physically terrible, the teacher made me cry. And I'm the one who feels guilty about causing so much trouble for her.

* My father stole something from a store. He took a wrench off the shelf and put it in my pocket. As we were leaving the store I told the cash register lady I was stealing the wrench. When we got home I got the leather belt for being honest. So why exactly do I feel guilty?

Repeating pattern. Adults misbehaved. I was always innocently honest. I got punished. Why do I feel guilty. I shouldn't feel guilty at all. But I do.


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192,855 I have to kill myself because I'm broke and too ashamed to ask anyone for help.


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192,854 I almost shat myself at work today. Was literally running to the bathroom, peeling off my gear as I ran. Just made it in time. I hate to think what would have happened.


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192,853 I don't want to work for the man anymore. Endless bills and taxes and costs and fees. I work and work and somehow how I have very little to show for it. We're all supposed to do this for 50 years and then die?

I want to give it all up. I picture myself living out of my car. The trunk would hold my clothes. The back seat would be my bed. The front passenger seat would be my food supply.

I could drive wherever I want. Sleep whenever I want. Read whatever I want. Eat whatever I want.

Food probably costs $10 per day. Gas is, I don't know, say $10 per  week because I have no need to go anywhere. I could survive on $5,000 a year. I could work odd jobs to earn $100 a week. That should be doable.

This can work.


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192,851 I think about other men.


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192,850 What a disgusting show by the Democrats at tonight's State Of The Union Speech. They wouldn't clap for anything. From watching their reactions, Democrats are in favor of more drug overdoses and higher medicine prices. They think terrorists should not be captured. They believe more American citizens should die and more American companies should fail. It was foul to see them not cheer on this country of ours.

You know what Democrats? I'm done with you.

Leave this country!


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192,849 I miss you.


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192,848 I’m starting a program to get my Masters degree. I’m nervous but excited. I’ve always struggled a bit in school because of a disability, I know I shouldn’t worry because I made it out of high school and got my bachelors degree, but I still get anxious that maybe this time I won’t be as successful and that my determination might not be enough. I tried telling a couple of trusted friends this, but I think it’s hard to understand if you don’t have my condition. Here’s to a wild 18 months ahead of me...


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192,847 I love going to the gym. Watching all those young hot women in their tight workout pants. I just don't know which way to look. All the fine In-Shape asses bending thrusting pumping. What is a dirty old man like me to do? Please don't ever stop wearing those workout pants.


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192,846 I have a friend.
My friend is mean to me.
My friend is dying.
These two things together are eating my insides.
I try to overlook his meanness.
I try to talk to him and calm him.
I try to help him emotionally.
Then he is mean again.
I'm struggling on what to do.


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192,844 My ex wife tries to tempt me with sex. When I go to pick up the kid she'll tell me she shaved and pull down her shorts to show me her pubes. Sad seeing shes remarried.


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192,841 My roomate is just my mom and little brother.

It is very annoying living with people.

I would like my own place.

But I'll never leave because my mom pays me to play the violin  for her. ;)

The Perfectionist


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192,840 I know a lot of people probably share this "secret," and I only call it a secret because I have to act like it doesn't bother me every day. I FUCKING HATE having roommates. A couple of years ago, things started going south between my bf of several years and I, mostly because I was so tired of having to put up with so many compromises to how I would like things to be and feeling taken advantage of in many ways as a partner. Having very close friends and roommates can feel exactly the same. The only reason I am in agreement with living with roommates right now is to be able to save up money and not being prepared to move at the moment since I just started a new job like 2 weeks ago.

My roommates are definitely not even close to what the worst could be, but I am just baffled by how some people behave when it comes to cleaning around the house and being considerate of others' needs.

How do you end up leaving dirty soaking wet rags, egg shells, salt, flower, shreds of cheese, chopped onion, plastic bags, dirty dishes, like 6 cups for each day, coffee grounds, etc. all over the kitchen every time you even walk into it? Especially when it was completely spotless just before you came in? How on earth does someone not notice that? Yes, it is YOU being dirty. Funny how there are 0 dirty dishes inside your room. You can take the time to walk over to the common area of the home to leave your bullshit but cannot be bothered to have it in your own room. Jesus. Thanks for turning the dishwasher on, but can you also PUT AWAY the fucking shit when it's done? Or how about you PUT IN ANOTHER BAG when you take out trash AND ACTUALLY TAKE THE FULL BAG TO THE DUMPSTER - not to sit next to the door inside our fucking house. YOUR ARE EXTREMELY STUPID to not even understand how to do 2 simple things that literally every person in the world has to do nearly every single day of their lives. And YES, I do notice when you take my shit without asking. You are not being sneaky

Don't even get me started on people who can't cook either!

The other roommate hasn't really annoyed me yet except being super gross with blowing her nose constantly all night for like 5 days straight. I offered her medicine for like 2 days before she finally took it. I swear to god if I get sick I'm going to scream.


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192,839 A year ago my nephew started dating someone new. She is the most clingy woman of all time. She is all over him physically and mentally. She acts pouty if he has to leave her alone for a moment to go the bathroom. She also has this odd habit of coming up to him and rubbing her hands on his face when he's talking to someone else. It's like a psychosis where she needs him to be paying attention to her and only her, so she touches his face to let him know she is there. I can see how much it annoys him. He angrily pushes her hands out of the way. Then she of course pouts.

All this makes for strange family get togethers. He privately tells us he can't stand her anymore. While she's talking about how beautiful her wedding day will be (he hasn't proposed), he's talking (behind her back) about dumping her. At family events we have front row seats to her salivating on him while knowing he hates her.

Time for him to man up and drop her. But I gotta say we will miss the entertainment value.



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192,838 Before meeting me, my wife slept with four other men. Each one was married. I've told my wife this shows she has a problem with morals. Defending herself, she says the man being married is not her responsibility, that's up to the man. He is a cheater. But my wife says she was just a single girl having innocent fun and she did nothing wrong.

I'm curious to hear other opinions on this. Does a single woman have no responsibility to stay away from married men?


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192,837 Recently some writer was making the claim that Trump is known for drinking lots of water every day. It turns out Hitler was also known for drinking lots of water. Therefore Trump is exactly like Hitler. I kid you not. Honky claims like this get published.


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192,836 Everytime my boyfriend tells his wife he wants a monogamous relationship he gets kicked out

We agreed next time he can come live with me.


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192,835 Monogamy is just a silly game of chance. This why I'm so fucken happy my boyfriends roomate is okay with us

Love is hard but our love isnt.


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192,834 I assume a woman with large boobs is more likely to get breast cancer. It's what I think about when I see a woman with large boobs. It makes me feel better about my tiny boobs.


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192,833 So the story has changed again.  The guy who texted a false incoming missile alert across the state of Hawaii first said he "accidentally hit the button."  Then it was pointed out that there was a confirmation button that he would have had to hit.  Now the guy is claiming he "had overheard from somebody that a missile was coming in."

Yeah, right.  Now that the guy knows he can go to jail, he's changing his story. Now he's not cooperating with any investigation - even though it's now supposed to have been an accident!

Fucking bullshit.  The guy did it as a protest against Trump.  Causing a panic across an entire state is now an "acceptable protest."

I'm never, ever voting for these asshole Democrats again.




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192,832 A few months into my first professional job, the boss asked me in a big meeting for the report he wanted. I said what report? He said he told my workmate to tell me to create a report on X. The boss was pissed I didn't do it. I apologized and explained how no one told me to create a report. The boss turned to my workmate. He asked if she told me about the report. She said yes, and that I'm trying to cover up the fact I never did it. This was a total lie on her part. I was shocked. How can she outright lie? Did she think I wouldn't notice? She was clearly trying to cover her own ass. I was so disappointed. Up until then I thought of her as a friend. I'm not sure who the boss believed. I'd like to think he noticed that for the next few years, whenever he asked something from me, I always delivered. But still I hated being put in that position and I hated knowing how easily people lie. I've never trusted anyone in the office again.


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192,831 Monogamy is silly. Like who says you should only be with one person? Who made that rule? I'll tell you who - someone who was jealous that others were playing the field and getting more action.


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192,830 My wife feels fat all the time. She's bulimic and needs help. Her gag reflex is dead so now uses a tooth brush
To handle the deed.


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192,829 I've likened the smell of an uncut penis to blue cheese. The human body shouldn't smell that way.


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192,828 What kind of woman meets a man on Craigslist and after a few lunch dates decides to throw her husband and kids to the side to be with him?
Talk about being desperately unhappy at home


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192,827 I'm a married male, but I'm always on the lookout for sexual opportunities. I meet a woman and I try to sense if she'll have sex with me. Does she flirt with me. Does she pay me a little too much attention. Does she hug me hello /goodbye. You can judge me and say I'm a slime ball, but between my dating life and my married life, I've cheated on my woman about 20 times. That's 20 times where I didn't do it alone, I had a willing woman cheating with me.


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192,826 Ok. Here it goes. I'm finally going to put it into words. I am a Baptist preacher's wife from the deep south, where everyone is Christian, and the mere mention of atheism or of being agnostic gets you damned to hell by the extremely conservative people who live in this area.

My secret is, although I go to church every Sunday and play the preacher's wife role, I don't believe any of it. I think it's a bunch of horse shit and hate every second I'm there. I find myself rolling my eyes at several points in the services. Lately I've been trying to come up with ways to not go to church. It's a waste of time, makeup, and forced social interactions. Yet every Sunday I have to fake belief in God and pretend to be there to worship, when in reality I'm only there to fulfill an obligation. I cannot express this to another living soul, because it's such taboo (especially in the south). I guess I'll live this lie until I die.


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192,825 My fatass boss freezes me in here. It's cold as fuck in our uninsulated building and she can't tell because she's just hot all the time from being so FAT.


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192,824 I separated from my wife this past summer,  we're friends but the passion had died. We liked each other but we're no longer in love. Mutual decision, no hard feelings either way.
The past few weekends she has come over to my new house and we have had mind blowing sex.... something we hadn't had in years.



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192,823 My boyfriends baby mom is a sad f joke. Hes sick of her lies drama and two faced ways

Asked him okay foo f then give me some f examples:

1.Said she hungers for negativity and drama all the f time

2.She always accusing him very f insecure and jealous

3.She exaggerates everything and still crys for attention

4. Manipulates her f parents his parents are smart enough to see through her shit so can everyone else even him

5.Likes to f two face everybody  then acts nice afterwards to their face her fucken parents included

6.Shes lazy fat nasty and always smells f sleeps just to not watch her f kids

7.Gets everyone involved in their fucken  problems throwing pitty parties just like the dad

8.So fucken ungrateful even her parents fucken think so

9.To clingy and don't trust him

10.Bad mom expects everyone to help raise her kids

11.Dont like step daughter and said she's a fucken spoiled brat just like her mom

12.Immature doesn't want to grow the f up

13.Not wiffy material she has her parents attached to the f hip for life

14.She rather be at the gym then raising his baby

15.Money hungry selfish bitch and entitled

16.Tries to make an issue out of fucken nothing all the time

17.She creates problems that aren't really there or fucken necessary

18.Way to fucken overly dramatic about everyone or every fucken thing

19.Always whining and sappy about everything even towards the good parents she fucken has

20.Everyone has to always fucken lecture her ass like shes a fucken kid

Cant believe I fucken hit 20. There was so much more
Feel so fucken bad for him. I know the reasons why he won't leave her.

His son one of them and the other one he don't want me repeating even to his family but I fucken laugh he thinks she has an inheritance coming her fucken way

So fucken happy hes bringing me some more fucken stuff to sell from her fucken house again getting it this week ;)

We get to buy and blow some more snow this week together



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192,822 I don't care about pregnant mexican women crossing the border to give birth. If a woman is resourceful enough to do something as simple as getting near the border and calling a US ambulance so her child can have a chance at a better life, I salute her. Personally, I wouldn't have a baby at all, but I get it, you gotta do what you gotta do.


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192,821 If I blow my nose into a tissue or handkerchief, my husband says "eww" yet that nasty motherfucker literally blasts snot into his hand and wipes it on his pants/blanket/bedsheets. And he wonders why I advocate for separate beds. I'm starting to think beds aren't going to be enough, separate rooms won't be enough, separate homes on the same land won't be enough. Divorce just might be the only solution.


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192,820 If the US split into to two different countries, those countries would immediately go to war


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192,819 United States needs to become two different countries. It's the only way to survive this. I'd be very much in favor.


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192,818 I hope my children never find out what a fake I really am.


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192,817 This stress is killing me.  I just don't know why people can't be honest.  I'm tired of all the bastards out there.


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192,816 I don't like feeling this numb..


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192,815 I went to college and the only job I can find is working part time at $10.50 per hour.


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192,814 I don't think our country will ever recover from the political divisiveness. There are people I've cut out of my life for the political things they have said. I will never let them into my circle again.


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192,813 I just realized, of ALL my full time jobs, starting 16 years ago with my first full time job, all of my bosses have been women.  And I have lasted years with them.  On the opposite side, of all of my part time jobs, all of my bosses have been men.  These lasted a short time, let's face it, part time jobs are shitty jobs.  Coincidence?  Do I get along better with women?  Do women feel more comfortable with me?  I do not know, but I find this curious.  I am male.  


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192,812 Another year I didn't watch the Grammys. It's just a circle jerk of social justice spouting brats. Try working for a living, out of touch libs.


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192,811 I’ve recently become so obsessed with uncircumcised penises. I find them fascinating and absolutely gorgeous. Like some rare, beautiful specimen. It’s been YEARS since I touched or saw one. (My husband is circ’d.)


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192,810 There are life like rubber dolls you can buy for sex purposes. They aren't cheesy blow up things. They have much more substance and weight and hair. Problem is they cost hundreds of dollars. If she's a good fuck it would be worth it. But how would I know until I buy one? What I need is a place that rents the sex dolls for the weekend. I could see spending $50 and fucking her in all three holes. Then if I like it, I'll buy one.


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192,809 When I was growing up I know for a fact my dad would buy liquor with food stamps. I'm sure it still goes on today. It's against the rules but who is going to stop the underground economy? Nobody.


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192,808 It's bad enough that my sister has taken up the mantle of insane right wing screech owl in our family after my dad's illness has finally quieted him.  I can't ever talk politics or current events to her at all because anything I say immediately causes her to go ballistic.  A typical conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Wow, that new tax plan is really going to hurt us because we live in (a high tax state)."

Her: HILLARY IS A CUNT AND OBAMA IS A MUSLIM TERRORIST AND CNN IS RUN BY THE ANTICRHIST AND I AM NOT PREJUDICE BECAUSE THOSE CIVIL WAR STATUES ARE HISTORY NOT RACIST!!!!!

Me: How's dad doing?

As if that wasnt bad enough, she has now started sending me Fox news clips via Facebook messenger.  The last one was on immigration.  I asked her to stop sending me Tucker Carlson clips as I find him offesive and shared a link to a youtube video that easily breaks down the Immigration issue with a minimum of political banter.  Really explains how the 'lottery' works and how difficult and narrow and expensive the 'legal' process is and how it works and how it doesnt.  
  
Her Response: "You know I will always watch Fox! YOU dont get it! Try to go to another country and get in immediately, no never. I have spoken to a client of mine who lived in Japan and from Wales. Guess what they wouldn't let him in. They want Japan to be for Japanese! ......Please your u tube only confirms what i said before there are white educated people they don't let in so why shud these people who broke the law have preference??...... Please stop watching CNN it offensed me. ......  And going back to immigration. They did put limits on it. You had to have 5k + a place to live+ a person to sponor you. NO HANDOUTS!! WERE GIVEN!! WOW YEAH! THEY ROSE ON THERE OWN. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE WOLL DO ANY BETTER HERE."  

Do I really have to block my sister now?  I mean really.  


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192,807 My mom was a drug addict growing up. First heroin, then coke, then crack.... sometimes a combo.
I used to pray sometimes that someone would take us away.


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192,804 I think I get so many colds each year because I pick my nose so much. I'm taking my germ filled finger and sticking it right up my nose!


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192,803 About 20 years ago I dated a woman with a puppy. On like the third or fourth date we took her dog for a walk. Seeing it was early in the relationship we hadn't had sex yet, but she hinted it was going to happen that day. The dog did his thing on the sidewalk. Fine. But then the woman handed me a plastic bag and asked if I could clean it up. Like what? This was the new criteria for getting to have sex with the woman? I have to clean up her dog's shit? I did clean it up. Then as we walked back to her apartment, my brain worked out what a future with her would be like. I suddenly told her I had to leave because I forgot I had to be somewhere else. I left and never called her again. I wasn't even lying. I did have to be somewhere else, I had to be looking for a much better woman, one who doesn't manipulate and get me to do her dirty work in exchange for sex.


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192,802 Why hasn't modern science come up with some sort of robot that will clean your house while you're at work?

I mean, we even have self-driving cars!


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192,801 I always tell myself I'm a coke whore.
I'm feeling as though my kids are going to be
Taken away soon.
My parents will have to raise them.

I hope they don't grow up to be little dumb shits just like myself.




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192,800 It's bad enough that my sister has taken up the mantle of insane right wing screech owl in our family after my dad's illness has finally quieted him.  I can't ever talk politics or current events to her at all because anything I say immediately causes her to go ballistic.  A typical conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Wow, that new tax plan is really going to hurt us because we live in (a high tax state)."

Her: HILLARY IS A CUNT AND OBAMA IS A MUSLIM TERRORIST AND CNN IS RUN BY THE ANTICRHIST AND I AM NOT PREJUDICE BECAUSE THOSE CIVIL WAR STATUES ARE HISTORY NOT RACIST!!!!!

Me: How's dad doing?

As if that wasnt bad enough, she has now started sending me Fox news clips via Facebook messenger.  The last one was on immigration.  I asked her to stop sending me Tucker Carlson clips as I find him offesive and shared a link to a youtube video that easily breaks down the Immigration issue with a minimum of political banter.  Really explains how the 'lottery' works and how difficult and narrow and expensive the 'legal' process is and how it works and how it doesnt.  
  
Her Response: "You know I will always watch Fox! YOU dont get it! Try to go to another country and get in immediately, no never. I have spoken to a client of mine who lived in Japan and from Wales. Guess what they wouldn't let him in. They want Japan to be for Japanese! ......Please your u tube only confirms what i said before there are white educated people they don't let in so why shud these people who broke the law have preference??...... Please stop watching CNN it offensed me. ......  And going back to immigration. They did put limits on it. You had to have 5k + a place to live+ a person to sponor you. NO HANDOUTS!! WERE GIVEN!! WOW YEAH! THEY ROSE ON THERE OWN. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE WOLL DO ANY BETTER HERE."  

Do I really have to block my sister now?  I mean really.  


likes: 0
comments: 5
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