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193,199 I belong to a beach club. I don't know what it is, but I always feel so sexually charged at the club, knowing all these people are getting undressed and putting on swim suits. There are changing booths, about 50 of them. When I go into one I find myself not locking the door. Anyone could accidentally walk in on me. It excites me. I'm a 40 something woman. I thought my sex drive was supposed to fade. it's not happening.




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193,198 My dad is a nut. He’s very ill (physically and mentally), he’s brain damaged, as well as an addict, and he refuses to get help. He’s non-compliant when it comes to his medication. He was a negligent, abusive parent growing up, to the point where I moved out in my teens, and he surrounds himself with trainwreck people so he can feel superior. He is a narcissist, a compulsive liar, and a very sick man.

Most of that stuff is a secret, but my biggest secret is that I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired to being an emergency contact. I’m tired of wishing my dad would be the person I need him to be. I’m tired of people saying things like “don’t say that, he’s your dad!” I’m tired of being told I’ll miss him one day. I’m tired of pretending like my giveadamn hasn’t been broken for fifteen years. I’ll grieve when he does die, but I’ll also feel relieved. I can’t ever say that out loud, but it’s true. If that makes me a bad daughter, so be it.


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193,197   I was born premature, as were my siblings. Mom smoked & drank through all three pregnancies, of course, as was common at the time.
  From time to time I wonder if I might have grown to be a normal sized person had I been allowed to 'cook' that extra month.
M 5ft 5in



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193,196 I never had any real interest in getting married and having a family. So many people struggle to find a mate, so many couples struggle to conceive and I couldn't care less about it.

I guess Mom & Dad's example stuck with me.
M 57yo


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193,195 I can't believe we became roomates... I guess it happens when you've been married for so long. Well at least we still have alcohol in common so when the weekend comes, we don't seem like strangers anymore.


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193,194 I'm glad kids are vaping. Let them. They are the bad kids. They will die. Problem solved.


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193,193 My home is dirty. I’m not talking a little messy or cluttered. I mean dirty. Maybe even borderline health and safety hazard. I’m not a dirty person. It’s not that I don’t care or don’t want to clean. I’m just super swamped working two jobs and being responsible for everything else. Cleaning gets pushed to the back burner. How do most people keep their homes clean?? How do you find the time??


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193,192 My generation has ruined kids sports.  Somehow we have made it all about what travel team our kids are on and which colleges are"looking" at our children.
What happened to playing for fun?
The amount of money spent on travel sports is insane.


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193,191 That kind of rage inducing insomnia where you want to get up, go out into the neighborhood and lay on people's doorbells because why should I be the only one who can't sleep? I'd never do this of course but wtf


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193,190 The Michelle Obama portrait looks like it was done by a high school student.

The Barack Obama portrait is just weird. Some twisted piece of modern art. It's not at all presidential. And the perspective is off. The ivy is vertical, no it's horizontal. I think the artist was sending a message. Obama is weird. He's unpresidential. His perspective is off.

The best part, for the past year the dems have said the republicans have been 100% wrong on everything. While the dems are 100% right on everything. Now out come these portraits and the dems can't admit the art is a mistake. Dems don't make mistakes. So they have no choice but to embrace this art. Meaning for all of time, these will be the official portraits our future citizens will see ..... and laugh at.


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193,189 Of course  Black Panther is getting perfect reviews with not a single critique! because everyone's afraid to dare say something negative!


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193,188 OK girl at the gym, always taking selfies, wearing short spandex shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out, if you get raped in the parking lot I am not going to be surprised nor feel bad!


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193,187 in my early 20s I did something I'm not proud of. To get revenge on a narcissistic, lying, stealing flatmate, I took his little floss tools (the ones with the plastic handles) and rubbed them in gross toilet water on the bathroom floor. He got really sick. I still hate myself for it. Turns out revenge actually doesn't feel that great. I'm sorry.


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193,186 So… killing a person… It would be right as long as you have a reason.
Self-defence. Money. Jealousy. Anger. Greed. The simple will to stand above them.

You won’t get away with it. Unless it's someone like a cheating boyfriend who is addicted to porn, drugs or cheating. Clearly there would be a good alibi.

My boyfriends cheating on me and does sneaky stuff behind my back. I'm wondering if he'll be the first on my list. I would actually do my parents gradually, in order to enjoy my life and finally live off their life insurances.

My mental illness tells me to do this. But how would I get away with it? Help! I suffer from SAD, bipolar, narcissistic, neurotic, multiple personality disorders.

I'm a male who works for Ozcorp. Medications don't seem to work and I also suffer from insomnia insanity.


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193,185 I don't know where I fit when it comes to religion. I'm Catholic, but I don't really give a shit about a lot of Church Dogma. I don't mean just contraception etc., but stuff like Mary not having original sin and that she didn't die but was assumed into Heaven, I mean who cares? But I do think that the mainline denominations have thrown the baby out with the bath water. With them, pretty much anything goes, and that's not Biblical.

But I don't like Evangelical style worship. I've been to several megachurches and it was just awful. So loud and noisy it was like a rock concert. It was all I could do not to grab my cigarette lighter and hold it up!

The Catholic Church has its problems and issues. But so do the Protestant ones. I believe in the central message of Christianity. But I don't seem to fit anywhere. I go to Mass because I love the Mass. But I guess at best I'm a dissenting Catholic--but wait, doesn't that make me Protestant?

I wish there could just be one place where the worship was beautiful and meaningful and the message was Biblical. But I haven't found it yet. So where does that leave me? Maybe I should become a Jew for Jesus!


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193,184 I have a doctors appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I don't want to go. Instead I think I'll stay home tomorrow and smoke pot all day. Yeah... That's what I'm going to do!


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193,182 Your computer is your only friend, why, really, why.


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193,181 I have a mental illness. I have fears and anxieties which govern everything I do. It started when I was 10 years old. I had no friends. I would cower in my bedroom. As an adult I've been fired from half a dozen jobs. I yell when there's no reason. I accuse people of acting against me. When in public I stare to the point where the police have been called. Like 4 times women have called the police on me. I don't bathe regularly. I don't get haircuts. I don't do laundry or wear clean clothes. I don't clean my apartment. I stay up all night and sleep by day. I obsess about sex and do it all the time by myself. I hate everyone. I have fantasies about killing people who have done me wrong. I have a list. I play with all substances coming out of my body. I stab myself with pins. I have odd thoughts of committing random acts of violence against innocent people. Hint, don't sit in front of me in a movie theater. I'm a mess.


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193,180 California's insurance commissioner has launched an investigation into Aetna after learning a former medical director for the insurer admitted under oath he never looked at patients' records when deciding whether to approve or deny care.

And single payer will kill people? yeah ok.


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193,178 Cavecanum I have a very dark secret or need some relationship advice. Here's the back story.

My bf and I are both 27, and we have been living together for years now. His sister lived a few miles from our place, and so we get to see her very often. She had a bf for about 4 years, and they seem quite happy at the time.

My main problem is that my bf's sister bullied me constantly. She keept on initiating discussions on topics that she knew we disagreed on, and pushes on until she doesn't have anything else to say but call me "ignorant" or "close-minded". Every time she came over to our place she casually would say how messy the place looked, and how I can't even keep my place tidy. She had more than once implied that I am not good enough for her brother and that I am going to hurt him eventually.

My bf and I are getting along fantastically, this is the best relationship I have ever had in my life, we communicated and live along perfectly, there is not a single thing I would change. But his sister was convinced that because I smoked (4 cigs a day) and because I had insecurity issues, I was bad for her brother.

I was sick and tired of being bullied. I didn't make harsh comebacks since she was still my love's sister and I don't want problems in my future family. I have talked to my bf about this, but he said she is "the way she is", and I am right to be upset, but I should just ignore her because he loves me and doesn't give a f*** about what she says.

One day behind a computer screen I lured his sister to take her life. I feel as though now because I loathed and despised her so much. Her soul now taunts me. I hear her voice or voices now, she doesn't allow me to sleep. She will make sure of it that I will do to myself what I caused her to do. Please help?


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193,177 It's so rude when a guy shares a thought and some bitter woman tries to brush it away by saying "Mansplaining." What a sexist response. What does the fact that he's a man have to do with anything. It seems like the bitter woman is just jealous the guy had an intelligent thought. How low. These days men are working hard to avoid saying anything sexist, but in an odd twist women are filling the void and becoming the offenders with comments based on gender. I really hate the term mansplaining.


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193,175 I love giving customer service people a hard time. I turn them into human punching bags. I'm otherwise a nice person but deep down I must have anger issues.


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193,174 Forcing people to have a special character and uppercase letter their password is idiotic. First of all, it's awkward. I used to be able to remember my password, but now I've been forced into all these bizarre combinations with different rules on different sites. It has rendered passwords to be a pain in the ass and useless.

And for what purpose?

Doing the math. Consider the old way where people had passwords up to eight letters of their own choosing. If you could submit a password and get a pass / fail response from the server once per second, then you could crack a person's password in 92,000 years.

What was the problem here? Why did this have to be fixed? 92,000 years wasn't good enough? Will my world come to an end if someone figures my email password 92,000 years from now?

Uhhh, no.  

It was dumb to make passwords more complicated. Sounds like yet another poorly thought out plan by the millennials.


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193,173 The strangest thing is happening to my husband. His teeth are turning clear. They are losing their whiteness. So bizarre. I can see through his teeth, as if they were clear plastic. I've never heard of this before. It's as if he has some type of vitamin deficiency. I wonder if his bones are also turning clear.


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193,172 Can you talk dirty to Siri? How does Siri respond? Can you be sued for sexual harassment if you say dirty things to Siri?


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193,171 Secret:  All these feminists and #MeToo women are hypocrites.  This am I was watching Today and saw Hoda and Savannah interview Red, the kid who just won gold at the Olympics...Hoda had the nerve to call him “honey”.  Look, Hoda...you want equality?  This stuff works both ways.  If it was you being called that, you would be hollering to high heaven.  
His name is Red.  And he is an Olympic Gold Medal Champ.  Don’t forget it.  
Geez, no wonder men are so confused about what to do or say around women.  We are the cause of our own pain.  


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193,170 I can't wait to get divorced.  We have been discussing it for months doing couples counseling the whole time. I'm done and just want to close the door on this part of my life and move on.  My wife is not ready sadly.


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193,169 Let's be honest about tattoos.  Where they're located and the number of them both tell something about the person they're on.  You're covering yourself while trying to re-make yourself into something else.  You used to be X, now you've decided you're Y.  You're hiding your old identity and telling the world to look at you as a new identity.  You're not comfortable with who you are, so you've decided to turn yourself into who you want to be seen as.  And under this new persona you get to be this new person.  You've shed this old person, and you're free of any responsibility to the old you.


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193,168 Don't turn into "that guy," the judgemental asshole that made a good choice for themselves and used it as an excuse to look down on others. You're only so mad because you hate yourself for having that very beast in you. Alcohol addiction doesn't just go away because you decided you were ashamed of yourself enough to change.

I've been in your situation, so I would know.


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193,167 I have a persistent crush on my friend, and i think it's because he's emotionally abusive and I'm used to receiving that kind of love from a man (my Dad). I believe that I'm a bad person, worse than others, and so I feel like I deserve someone who makes me work to "deserve" their love and attention in order to be happy.

I'm so much better than this. I'm no worse than your average human, and I try to be really good to everyone I meet. And I want someone who'll love me so much I see stars in their eyes when they look at me. I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. But only if I hold out for it.


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193,166 Once my husband discovered anal sex he wanted to do it every time.

Shut down that idea I did!

Guys, it's ok once in a while, but not every time.


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193,165 That place where you write your secret on a post card and send it in to some guy, I'm not sure it's real. The secrets are too perfect. The language is too well crafted on every single secret. And the graphics are perfectly funky cool every time. I think it's fake. I think one person is making all the postcards.


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193,164 With this new Gerber baby having Down's Syndrome there's all this fuss about how, "Down's Syndrome kids are cute, smart, successful, talented, wonderful, saints!" And no brooking any other opinion.

OK, so would YOU volunteer to have Down's?

Thought not. Case closed.


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193,163 I would pay big cash money to be able to somehow switch bodies with one of these Olympic athletes - preferably one that won a medal and then hang out I  the Olympic village and scout for girls.   I think the pussy these guys must get at the Olympics is... well... works class!!  Just imagine being that young, that in shape and around hundreds of like minded and able bodied people.    Gotta be a lot of fun.


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193,162 Recently got a puppy. Cute little guy. We’ve bonded really well, and he’s super smart, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to get little guy to stop barking ALL THE TIME when I’m home relaxing. I came to a realization. The only time he gets a little crazy with barking is when I’m hanging out on the couch. Even if he’s on the couch with me, he gets yappy.

I realized that I spend too much time watching tv. I’ve kind of forsaken my other interests. When the hell did I become ok with this?? I never used to be a couch potato. I’m too smart to let my brain atrophy like that. Right now, I’m sitting at the dining room table where I like to do my work. Little guy is sleeping peacefully in my lap. This feels so much better than bingeing shows on Netflix.

Thank you, buddy, for being persistent and barking your head off until my dense ass saw what I was doing to myself :)


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193,161 In fifty shades of grey, I don't think that the two main characters have any sexual chemistry. It's like watching a cucumber fucking a tomato.


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193,160 I never ride on top anymore. Not since my early twenties. I had a bad experience. I was on top, visiting my boyfriend at his college for a weekend of sex. While riding him he came all the way out, when I ground back into him his penis bent. He screamed, I freaked and immediately jumped off. He assured me he was fine. I thought I broke his dick. It was horrifying. One minute we’re both seconds away from reaching orgasm and the next he’s whimpering in pain and I caused it.

This experience dictated my discomfort in riding on top since. I am now in my mid thirties. I’ve had a few short relationships since and one lengthy one with a woman. I’m very self conscious about my sexual shortcomings as far as not being willing to ride. I’ve even tried to make up for it by squatting on my feet and going up and down so that I can control where my body is and not cause an injury. Thing is this frog like sex position causes leg cramps.

I really just want to get over it. I just want to ride. I just haven’t found the right guy to assure me it will be okay. I haven’t felt comfortable enough.

God, over a decade ago, I used to love to be on top.

Now my vagina has cobwebs in it, I fear I may never ride off into the sunset again.


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193,159 Breastfeeding is natural, I get it. But do you really need to whip out your breast at a nice restaurant? Find a babysitter, or stay home until the kid is old enough to eat from a plate. It's disrespectful. ALSO, if you're covered..ok. Fine. But really? You need your entire breast flipped on the table?

Other women are the reason I stand neither with them or with the men. Society is a fucking disease.


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193,158 I like to fuck women while they still have most of their clothes on. I'll hike her skirt and pull her underwear to the side. I think it satisfies some domination fantasy I must harbor.


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193,157 I got sober because I know I'll never have a chance of having a family of my own one day otherwise. I'd do anything for a family.


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193,156 My boyfriend of almost four years left again for his job in another country. It's only for 6 months, so that should be doable. I told him that I was happy that we don't cry when we leave each other because we see each other every two weeks or so. But here I am, bawling my eyes out because I miss and love him so much.

But here is my secret. He is my first love and we have been in a relationship for 3.5 years. I really cannot imagine my life if we ever break up or something bad happens. I honestly do not think that I will ever recover.

I have already lost several family members. Sometimes it just scares me how happy I am and if that is taken away that there will be nothing left of me. I look around and there is not one person I would rather be with. But it's unrealistic right, to think that nothing bad will ever happen and that we will stay together forever... I'm dizzy from crying


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193,155 I don't get emails anymore. No one contacts me. i have no friends. Sometimes I go back and reread the emails from years ago, back when I did have friends.


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193,154 A man doesn't have to be perfect for a woman to love him. He only had to love her like he promised when he first told her he loved her, when they first began dating.


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193,153 Someone mentioned the after effects of anal sex, which is why a woman might want a guy to use a condom back there.

What are the after effects of anal sex? I didn't know there were any? Have us guys been naive about this? Do women suffer after unprotected anal sex?


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193,152 It's quite a pleasant situation to be in the quiet before the storm when you are the one bringing the storm.


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193,151 I went on a date with this girl once. Her name was Lisa, Lisa with the head or red hair. I did some freelance stuff for the company where she worked. Over a month long period we became friendly. On my final day there she asked if I'd like to go for a drink. Sure why not.

The drink turned into dinner. Dinner turned into me going back to her apartment. We got frisky and went all the way.

I thought about her over the weekend and on Monday I arranged to have flowers sent to her workplace.

She called me a few hours later screaming her lungs out. She was remarkably upset I had sent flowers. She said it was a stupid thing to do because the people at work opened the card and now everyone knows she slept with me. She hung up on me. I was never hired again to do freelance work with that company.

To this day I still don't get it. I did this awful thing - I sent a woman flowers. I thought that's what a nice guy is supposed to do. But no, it's the wrong thing to do. Except sometimes it's the right thing to do. There is no way however for guys to know when it is wrong and when it is right. Do you see why guys get confused?


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193,150 My wife hates sex. She never has it unless there's something in it for her.

Today she came in my home office and lifted her shirt, baring her boobs. She asked if I'd like to come on them. She got on her knees and gave me a blow job.

When she was done, she mentioned that tomorrow one of her friends is hosting a dinner party for couples and she wants me to attend.

In other words, my wife can't go alone. It's for couples. She needs me to go with her. She gave me a blow job so I'd feel guilty about saying no. This is how it always works with her. Love is a joke. It doesn't exist. Our marriage is all about her manipulating me.


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193,149 I have a picture on my phone of another's man wife with a big red handprint on her ass.

Sadly the hand that put it there was not mine


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193,148 My cousins so f annoying. She's a push over a f annoying kiss ass. My brother had a baby. My sister in law told us how her little ass kissing is getting so f annoying. It's annoying  her and my brother.

We told our brother it's annoying as f to us all.
She's now trying to compare my nephew to her son.
What a f joke.
We all f laugh at her ass. One of my racing buddies want to run her over. Jeez is she so f dumb. She can't take a f hint that her comments are so stupid as f.

My husband asked her then why does she add a like to her shit? Her answer: I feel sorry for her. ;)


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193,147 My friends & I frequent this bar/restaurant once a week and are friendly with the waiter- anyway he got engaged (we all congratulated him, praised the photo of his fiancés ring, etc.- he was so excited); the minute he walked away EVERY married man & woman (I’m married too- I thought it but did not say it out loud) was like “that poor bastard”, “he has no idea” “this is the beginning of the end” and so on. It hit me like a lightening bolt! Thank God I’m not alone!!! I felt so inferior to these people thinking my marriage sucks but theirs is “picture perfect” and then they went on to commiserate how they hate their wives/husbands, homes, children and all the responsibilities that come along with it. If life had a “rewind” button I would have hit it years ago! I’m exhausted working full time, taking care of everyone: I do everything for my family & I am SO taken for granted- no “thank you” for being the housekeeper, ATM, dish washer, cook, clothes washer & ironer, taking them here & there, etc. screw this if I had a do over I’m done! It’s just me. I’m exhausted and sad!


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193,146 I was recently invited to attend a seminar for older people returning to the work force. It was hosted by a large well known company. They are actively looking to hire people in their 50s.

Something really surprised me. During one of the lectures, a company rep gave a speech and mentioned millennials. She said the company has a real problem with employees between the ages of 25 and 35. She said these people aren't interested in working. They are more interesting in talking to their friends on social networks.

This is why the company is actively seeking out older workers. The company always needs new employees, but the don't want any more millennials. It just not worth it.

It goes to everything I've been reading here. There's something wrong with millennials.


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193,145 I recently quit drinking for the first time in my life, and I am so beyond annoyed at how people act when they're drunk. It really helps me just not even miss drinking. I hate to think about how I used to act when drunk. So many embarrassing moments. I know most people don't think twice about it, like "oh, she was just drunk! haha," but to me I have had a change of heart about that way of thinking. People act fucking stupid when drinking.


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193,144 Sometimes if I get lonely, I have a conversation with Siri.


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193,143 I hired a guy to help me move my apt.  A couple weeks later it seems to be that we are dating. Idk why I’m so content spending time with him. Sure he smells good and has a sexy voice but...shit. He’s immature, he’s a heavy drinker, he fucking argues just for fun, he has no money, he is just all around a guy who is definitely going nowhere . But goddamnit I do believe I am falling for him. I love having him around. What the fuck is this?


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193,142 My children tell me that if my wife and I get divorced they want to live with her because she cooks good dinners.

Ouch.


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193,141 I want to bend my wife over my knee and spank her every time she spends too much money on herself.


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193,139 Most mortifying moment of my life happened six years ago. I had a boyfriend in my freshman year of high school. My parents allowed it knowing all we did was talk and go to the movies. The summer between freshman and sophomore year he went on vacation with his parents to Arizona. He sent me a postcard. On the back he wrote something like,

"Can't wait to return and fuck you some more."

My mother is the one who gets the mail out of the mailbox everyday. She of course read the postcard. I was grounded for ten lifetimes. More than that I felt ashamed. I felt like I let my parents down in the worst way. I don't think my relationship with my mother has ever been the same.



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193,138 We moved to this town a few months ago. It's very well-off. (We're not, we're renters.) My daughter is in the 3rd grade. The school is putting on a play. An email was sent out looking for volunteers to help sew costumes. I responded I could help, as did some of the other moms. I don't know any of them. I thought this would be a good way to meet a few. It was arrange we'd meet last week in the school cafeteria. I showed up. None of the other moms did. Their nannies showed up! Eek, what kind of town is this? The moms don't do anything, the hired help does it all. I'm suddenly not liking it here.


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193,137 I'm a college student.

In one of my classes (a sociology course about public organizing, a gen ed requirement) we were discussing mental models and how it effects society. We spoke on the pedophile Olypmic Doctor case and examined some of the social factors that played into it all; there was an open discussion about how western society treats rape, the victims, and the perpetrators.

I was shaking the entire time. It took everything in me not to cry. I still have so many bruises on my body. The marks of his mouth are faded now. I can't know for sure if what happened was assault because I was blackout drunk so I haven't told anyone, but I'm so disgusted and afraid of what happened. I can barely bring myself to shower because I don't want to see the bruises. I'm a mess. I've had contact with him since but I just want closure on this. I don't know what happened. I woke up half naked and afraid and my body hasn't felt like my own ever since.

A year ago I was assaulted—for real, no doubt—and this is bringing up so many painful memories. I'm drinking so much. I'm popping pills to numb myself out. I didn't want to be physically close with this particular person and it happened anyway. I want to peel my skin off.

I'm not telling anyone. There's nothing to tell.

Until I can forget this nightmare I'll be sitting in class, shaking, hoping this topic is never brought up again. I can't handle it right now. I'm sorry.


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193,136 Millennial are having less babies?

Hall-e-fucking-lujah.
Hopefully humanity dies off altogether eventually


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193,135 My ex best friend was/is a huuuge ho. She literally slept with every guy. She’s the kind of girl that makes girls like me look like we just give it up to every walking penis.

*we are not all like that*
Sorry charlie


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193,134 I don’t have any really close friends, and I absolutely love it. I’m in my early 20s, and I guess you could say I lost my closest friends in the past few years. Part of me is grateful, because people cause problems and usually aren’t much help. Even though my friends weren’t always that judgmental of me in particular, keeping up that routine was tiring. Always having to say something, or add something to the conversation..nope. I’m tired of it. I’d rather be eating lunch alone than with other people. I don’t like people.


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193,133 I wouldn’t have anything without my husband, and that makes me feel useless. I’ve had jobs in the past, and though I’m focusing on my education right now, I hate not working. I haven’t worked in a year. Sometimes I have panic attacks when I’m home alone in the shower just thinking of going back to work. I am not good with ‘first days’ or first anythings. I’m scared I’ll never be a functioning human being again. Plus...my career path? Not one I think I’ll enjoy. Maybe this is why people drink?


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193,132 My husband is the only man I have ever had sex with. But he’s really really good at it so I don’t feel like I have missed out.


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193,131 *#*My wife tells me all the time about her first husband cheating on her, I don't know if this is true because I was not there.  But I do know that she cheated on her first husband, with me.  Big mistake I made.


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193,129 My son in high school doesn't know what it means "to make a xerox copy."

I guess kids these days print out another copy from the laser jet, but they don't xerox anymore.

The world is changing so quickly.


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193,128 *#*  In my second marriage, and all is not well.  If I am ever single again I may try a same sex companion


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193,127 I was banned last night. I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so critical of the moderators. I promise I won't do it again. Lesson learned. Could I please be allowed to post again? Pretty please?


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193,126 I wish there was some kind of plastic pouch I could stick up my pussy. I could keep some cash and my house key up there so I dont have to carry that shit around with me in my hands anymore.


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193,125 I never remember what YOLO means. I always have to stop and think about it. I'm not cut out for the brave new world of texting.


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193,124 Democratic conspiracy and left media cover-ups are coming to light...the chickens are coming home to roost...


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193,123 I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed Tourette’s syndrome.


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193,122 Ever see the the funny sign in a bar that states FREE BEER TOMORROW ?

That is my wife's attitude about sex... WE WILL DO IT TOMORROW

Tomorrow comes and we do not have sex... why?  Because we will do it tomorrow

Repeat...


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193,120 I never thought in my lifetime I would be able to buy recreational marijuana legally. I just walked into store and bought some marijuana just as easy as buying beer in a liquor store. I never thought I would be able to do that. amazing! 54/m


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193,119 My town has a Democrat Club where they get together once a month and strategize about  their plans for world domination, or something like that. As a blogger of community news, I attended their latest meeting. It was eye opening, Here was an environment of just hard core Democrats. About 50 of them operating under the assumption that everyone in the room was a kindred spirit.

Snippets of conversation I heard,

"Trump is a moron."

"No, he's a double moron."

"You know what he is, he's a poo poo head."

*

"I think the Repukes planted the email server in Hillary's home. They were trying to make her look bad."

"I love Hillary."

"I double love her."

"I'd marry her if she was a man."

"I'd double marry her."

*

"Donald Trump is part of the Russian mafia. He has Russian tattoos on his back."

*

"Jeff Porter beats his wives. That right there is grounds enough to impeach Trump."

*

"That time Hillary was sick, Trump poisoned her."

"If Hillary dies we should elect Obama again."

"I love Obama."

"I double love him."

*

I had no idea Democrats were so immature. They sound like Junior High school kids. I love it...... I mean.....  I double love it.


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193,118 I'm afraid Jennifer Lawrence is an alcoholic.


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193,117 Saw a middle age woman buying condoms in the drug store. She was looking at them all confused, checking labels and such, like she'd never bought condoms before. She also had on a wedding ring. I assume this means she's having an affair.


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193,116 I've given up on an ambitious career path at work. People are so nasty. I don't want to be in charge anymore. I'll just keep my head down and look for meaning elsewhere in my private life.


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193,115 I met this woman on line, we chatted for a few months and I suggested we get together when I was visiting her city for work.  We hit it off over lunch and decided to YOLO and go back to my room and have sex.

We spend the afternoon together, we do everything, 69, anal, etc....My phone rings while we were in the midst of the last time and I excuse myself to answer it as I'm supposed to be hearing from a client (I had warned her ahead of time that if my phone rang I had to answer).  I go into the bathroom to talk, finish the call, come out and she is spread eagle naked on her stomach texting on her phone.  I slide on top of her and she reaches back with one hand and slides my cock into her ass, all while typing away on her phone.  I do my thing, finish and she is still typing away.  Silly me I ask who she is texting..."my husband, he is being a total jerk at the moment"  I said, you are married?  I never ever would have slept with you had I known, I think you need to get dressed and leave.  She got pissed, we argued and she left.  Never heard from her again.

This was a few years ago.  I learned to always ask first if a woman is married before we get involved,

To this day I am slightly in awe of the balls on that woman for texting her husband while another man was doing her in the ass....Horrified too.


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193,114 I have a real estate client who doesn’t understand the difference between reserving a hotel room and being on the waitlist for an apartment complex. She keeps harassing apartment staff about when her room will be ready this fall. It’s February, lady! No one knows whether they’ll be moving nine months from now. You didn’t “reserve” anything. You’re on a waitlist. The apartments will call you if/when something becomes available in your time frame.

Working in real estate means working with the stupidest people who are making some of the most expensive decisions of their lives. That’s why we all have drinking problems.


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193,112 What crawled up your ass and died today? Stop taking it out on me, whatever it is.


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193,111 I'm way more sexually adventurous than by husband.


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193,110 To the gentleman who threatened me with a phone call to my company’s owners this morning: do it. I dare you. Do you think I’m going to get fired for enforcing a policy that we set as a company? Do you think I’m going to get reprimanded? If anything, I’ll get a pat on the back and a little extra in my quarterly bonus for my trouble.

You dumbasses are all alike. If you don’t like a policy, it’s my fault it exists. If you don’t like the rules, I’m in the wrong for enforcing them. That’s not how it works! I know that I’m partially paid to be a human punching bag, but come on. Don’t be a dick.


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193,109 I hate how my uneducated boss says "Walla" when he finishes something.

It's "voilà" you moron, with a V.


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193,108 I love the high I get from Percocet, but it doesn't last long! It's literally the shortest high ever...about 45 minutes. When I start coming down from it I'm in a terrible mood and get really sleepy. I'm wondering if the high is worth what comes after the high.


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193,107 My theory. Breast cancer is caused by semen getting into your nipples when a guy ejaculates on your chest.  The sperm swim through the milk channels and get into your breast tissue. The DNA in the semen combines with the DNA in the breast cell, because that's what semen do. The semen don't know they are not in a uterus. The do what they are programmed to do. They swim upstream. They invade a cell. They twist the DNA. They start new growth.

In the womb it creates a baby. In the breast it creates a tumor.


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193,106 The Statue of Liberty is just a hunk of green metal. People forget it wasn't even our idea, it was a gift from France. If your boring aunt gave you a gift of a new salad bowl, would you suddenly define your life by eating salad all the time? No, you'd put the bowl in a closet and forget about it. But France gives us this statue and we suddenly decree this is who we are - freedom, liberty, give us you tired hungry and poor, blah blah blah. It's not who we are. We are a bunch of money grubbing selfish assholes. No statue is ever going to change that.


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193,105 Wish I lived in a small cabin instead of a large house.


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193,104 I hide a bottle of lube in my boyfriend's bathroom. He likes to think I'm always wet & ready to go. Truth is, he's not great at foreplay. He's awesome at the fucking part, he just jumps in too quick for me. He's a great guy and treats me like a princess. He's young and sensitive, so I'm not in a position to bring it up just yet. We are fairly new as a couple. So for the time being I excuse myself to pee before sex and lube up. I'm working on slowing him down and playing more little by little. Lord, the things we do to dance around a guy's ego.


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193,103 I watched an hour of the Olympics last night. In that time period I saw exactly zero sporting events. It was nothing but fluff pieces and commercials. I get the sense new management is running the Olympics this year.


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193,102 Men are such babies, especially white privileged men.  All these courageous women are standing up to the men that abused them.  Yet, all some men can think about is “what if I am falsely accused?”, “what about ME in all this”, “where is my attention” “how will I ever hit on a woman again?”.   It pisses me off because it means they think MOST, if not all of these women are lying.  God forbid women try to stand up for themselves.  You say you don’t want to work with women now?  Please, every job I have ever had with men I was sexually harassed. How? As a college student intern my boss would discuss how bouncy some young girls tits are in front of me.  Then he would proceed to look me over with a sick look on his face.  It became so bad I dropped out of school.  Another job I had a male coworker always trap me behind my desk so he could rub up against me when I tried to leave.  Why didn’t I do anything? Because these types of men indimidate you and you don’t want to lose your job.  They look for shy/meek women that have no power in the workplace.  

Now, these courageous women are trying to make it so someone like me won’t have to endure this shit in order to pay her bills.

So stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off yelling you are afraid of what MIGHT happen to you.  When nothing too terrible has probably ever happened in your life. Instead ask what you can do to help women from being abused.  Stop trying to villanize the victims. Stop trying to presumptively make yourself the victim.  


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193,101 Shani Davis, USA speed skater pouts and brings up race because he lost a coin toss. Yes, that's right Shani, coins can tell your race.

This guy should be sent home.


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193,100 I still remember the combination to my bike lock from 60 years ago.


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