secrets


archives




193,499 I could never have an affair. I'd be too afraid I''d be video taped and then blackmailed. I've got too much to lose.


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193,498 Our neighbor asked my wife to dog sit for a weekend. My wife has done it before. The dog stays at the neighbor's and my wife goes over several times a day to feed it. This time was different though. It was the weekend after valentines day. On the kitchen counter my wife saw the love note the husband wrote his wife. What does my wife do? She takes a picture of it and shows me the gushing contents, and then yells at me for not writing her like that.  Yes, I'm in trouble because the guy next door wrote his wife a love note. My wife doesn't see the problem at all with taking a picture of the neighbor's private love note.


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193,497 I tried to jerk off today. It didn't work. I got bored and turned on the tv. I think I'm officially past my sexual prime at 39 years old.


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193,496 This website is the only connection we have.
I wonder if you still come to this site.
How much I've missed you I truly loved You.
Not a single day pass without your thoughts.
It's been almost 7 years..
Always Always I think of You
And you know (MY) love will never end


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193,495 I know it's wrong, but damn, fucking a married woman doggie style and seeing her big diamond on her finger!! wow.


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193,494 I wear semi padded bras, not because I need the padding, but because it stops my nipples from poking out of my blouse.


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193,493 I've had two wet dreams in the last few weeks. WTF? I'm getting a little old for this.

44m


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193,492 So the story is that last weekend a girl in high school took on 8-10 guys and took care of them all.  Our son was not there but no matter I am charged with the task of talking to him and giving the advice to stay away from such events. This week, has to be this week before the weekend comes about.

In our conversation what I never told my wife was that this girls mother did the exact same thing back in my high school years. Several times.  Yeah, I left that detail out in our conversation about this.


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193,491 The greatest sexual experience I ever had was at the age of 14. We would often go over my friends house after school.  His parents both worked. His mother was a business lady who dressed in a tight dress and hose and high heels and looked exquisite. I would sneak upstairs to her panty drawer and take them to her bathroom and masturbate all the time. I'd put the panties back where I found them thinking she never knew. One day I came over and was told my friend was not home. His mom offered me a cola and conversation. We got to talking about sex and how distracting it is for a young man to get things done when all he is thinking about is sex. She talked about how she too was distracted all the time. She said it was distracting to know I would be alone with her panties all the time and how she would wear them knowing how much I was turned on turned her on. And how it turned her on, especially now talking about it. She said she had to cum then and there and asked if I minded. She stripped to nothing, laid back and started touching herself. After a minute she asked me if I would undress. She said that I was too young to touch or be touched. Instead, she suggested we get as close as possible without touching. She blew on my cock. She massaged my front without touching and me her. It was so thrilling and when I ejaculated she caught it and rubbed it all over her body like it was lotion.  We never repeated that day and I started respecting her privacy and stayed out her drawers. But the night of, she gave me her panties. 50 years later they still hold a special place in my underwear drawer!  64/m


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193,490 My foot is still paralyzed after 2 months and hurts constantly. I am so tired of this and worried it won't get better. I can still manage to walk around and get things done, but the pain is so distracting and exhausting. It makes me not want to even try to do anything. I am only 32 years old. This was not supposed to happen.


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193,489 I wonder if you still own the stars.   I can not express just how much I miss you.


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193,488 There's a very attractive young lady where I work.  I never see her chatting with anybody.  Every day, she's sitting by herself in the lunchroom.  I wonder if guys are scared to talk to her because they think she'll say they're harassing her.


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193,487 When my wife kisses me, it's just an emotionless peck on the lips.

The prostitutes I see kiss me the same way.


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193,486 I can’t get my husband off with blow jobs anymore. I’m not sure why. I always could before, so I don’t think I just suck at giving head.

I try to do it slow, fast, softly, harder. He moans like he’s enjoying it. But then after a while he’ll just pull me up and say he’s sorry but he’s really tired and we’ll both just go to sleep.

I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if it’s him. If I ask him about it he just says he doesn’t know.


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193,485 Sorry women, it seems you can thank Social Media for your Man's constant wandering Eye.


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193,484 i have a dear friend. her mom passed away. her mom was a big time gardener. my friend thought it would be fitting to spread her mother's ashes in her vegetable garden. i could see spreading the ashes in her flower garden. but the vegetable garden? people eat those vegetables. yuck and double yuck.


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193,483 Facebook has changed their code. It used to be the drop down notification box showed you updates in reverse chronological order.

Someone liked my post 3 minutes ago.
Someone commented on my post 10 minutes ago.
Someone commented on my post 1 hour ago.

It made sense.

But with this new change, the chronology is in random order:

Someone commented on my post 1 hour ago.
Someone liked my post 3 minutes ago.
Someone commented on my post 10 minutes ago.

One word easily describes what happened:

MILLENNIALS!


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193,482 Firefox has been become a useless bug riddled browser. I start on the Google home page. I'm using up 200 meg of memory. I go to CNN and then come back to Google. Now I'm using up 400 meg. How can that be? Being on Google was only taking up 200, now I'm back on Google with CNN closed and the memory usage is double. (And caching is turned off.)  Something isn't right. I should have gotten all that memory back. I go to a few more web pages and back to Google and I'm quickly using up over a gig of memory. The machine is working at a snail's pace and I have to reboot. It's fucked.


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193,481 Suburbia "book groups" are an excuse for soccer moms to get together, drink wine, and be catty about everyone in town.


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193,480 448: I like that too!  it is the perfect position.  I can get it all the way down my throat that way and continue for a long time with no trouble.  

M/60


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193,479 If your school or any other agency is not hearing you.  If you feel in danger and no one is listening or taking your situation seriously, call your local television news department and get help from them.  Call all the TV stations in your area, if necessary.


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193,476 I'm going lesbian. Fuck this.


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193,475       My boyfriend is not gonna be my boyfriend much longer.  He doesn’t fuck me enough, he intellectually the laziest fucker I’ve ever met, he says stupid argumentative shit all the time, he won’t stop borrowing my state of Texas belt buckle which I’ve asked him many times to leave alone.

     Why do I ask him not borrow things I’ve had for most Of my life that are “irreplaceable “ to me?  Because I am positive that one day it will walk away and end up wherever all my vanished cigarettes, spare change, and whatever else is mine and might not be large enough to be missed immediately, has gone.  He fucking steals from me and treats me like I’m some crazy paranoid bitch for even asking where it might be.  

      I  just found that belt buckle in the bathroom again, after putting it away on my side of the room and out of sight.  I just HID it in my mother’s things to keep it from Him, and this means he has gotta fucking go. Bye, loser.



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193,474 I met my exes family is his country, and now I’m meeting my current guy’s family in August, and I’m fucking scared. I don’t want to replace my exes family with this new family...plus..we’re going to be gone a really long time from home in his country, and I’m scared I’m going to cry for most of the trip.




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193,473 I'm totally freakin spooked.The other day I bumped into a teacher I used to work with. She directs the school plays. She asked me about a set element I built a few years earlier. It was to created the illusion of a ghost on stage. I told her it's pretty easy. You need a large sheet of plexiglass. You hang it at a 45 degree angle. You have a projector offstage and aim it at the plexi. To the audience it looks like a ghost is hovering in midair. I explained all this to the teacher.

But what the freakin heck? I get home. I go on my computer and what pops up but ads for plexiglass and projectors. An hour earlier I was talking about it and here are all the necessary parts. My computer has been bombarded with these ads for the last few days, ever since I spoke to the teacher. I never googled these things. I never watched anything being built on youtube. All I did was talk to the teacher. My only guess is that I had my phone with me. Is the phone listening to what I say and then sending me ads? Your freakin kdding me? Someone tell me that's impossible. Please. This world is getting too spooky for me.


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193,472 The bathroom closest to me at work is small and very used. There are times I go in there and do my thing, only to realize there is no toilet paper. Fuckity. I flush. I pull up my pants and ever so gingerly walk to the much larger bathroom at the other end of the floor. It's like a walk of shame, passing by all my coworkers with a pooppy bottom.


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193,470 "Daddy we're hungry."

You don't know home many times I've come home from work to be greeted by this phrase. My wife is too busy in her own self centered universe to feed our children.


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193,469 I never knew how stupid my friends were until I started reading their comments on Facebook.


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193,468 I have discovered over the course of a lifetime that nothing, NOTHING will make you more certainly unpopular than telling the truth.


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193,467 Apparently I used to be really bad at choosing friends. Either that, or literally everyone just sucks. Out of all the people I've met in the past 10 years, there's maybe like 2 who would actually give a shit about anything that happens to me. Everyone lies and hides shit, talk shit about each other when they're not around, and do hurtful things to each other and laugh about it. What is wrong with people?

I feel like I want to move away again, but I wonder if that actually changes anything? It didn't last time. I ended up right in the same position again. Surrounded by assholes.


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193,466 I've never understood the appeal of the ass when the pussy is so close by and so much more accommodating.   Not judging, just my opinion.

M/50


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193,465 There are dreamers and DACA and CPAC and someone named Meuller. I have no idea what any of this is about. I see the words in the headlines but I don't read any of the stupid political articles.


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193,464 U.S. Olympian Gus Kenworthy, how dare you insult the President's daughter! I think you're just bitter you didn't win a medal.


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193,463 When you think about it, everything done in Parkland Florida by our officials failed. The FBI didn't listen to the warnings. The school failed to keep students safe. The security guard was a mega flop. The police outside were scared and refused to do their job and enter the building.The laws enacted by congress allowed a mentally deranged person to get a gun.

Everything failed.

All that money spent since Sandy Hook. Every town in America spending a million or more. And nothing worked to stop the gunman.

My God the adults in this world should be embarrassed. They should offer an apology to all young people everywhere.


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193,462 So fucking broken, I ruin things before they even start


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193,461 My wife will stand next to the bed and lean the top part of her body onto the mattress. She'll spread her legs and pull her ass cheeks apart and command me to stand behind her and fuck her ass. I don't plan on ever divorcing this woman.


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193,459 Sometimes I look for recipes online. You open up the link to the recipe and somebody has put this long, detailed story about how they make this recipe on cold days for their great aunt Barb and it reminds them of winter in the alps or some bullshit like that. Then at the very, very bottom (or sometimes the next page) the recipe will appear.
The same thing happens when you try to look up do it yourself stuff or ANYTHING.
I don't want the stories. I don't care about your life and how this risotto makes you think of your trip to Europe.

This is basically the problem with the internet. It gives everyone a voice. Some people deserve to have a voice and be heard.
But most people are idiots. They state opinions like they are facts. They think everyone wants to here their opinions. Everyone is always arguing and putting comments about things to articles that aren't even related to the comment. No one check facts or sources. It's annoying.


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193,458 There have been a number of times in this past year where people on my town facebook page are looking for medical advice. They aren't feeling well. They wonder what they should do about it. They describe their symptoms explaining they have diarrhea.

NO! JUST NO!

Don't tell your friends and neighbors and complete strangers that you have diarrhea. No no no. Don't so that. Do I really have to explain this? I guess so!


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193,457 Had a dream with my ex. The love of my life. My first love. It's been two years since I broke up with him. Hardest thing I've ever done.
He's with a new girl now. She's gorgeous. I gained a lot of weight due to depression and low self worth. Really hate who I've become. Wish I could go back to sleep, and dream I'm laying in his arms again.

Sometimes I'm doing so well. I consider how lucky I am/was to have had a relationship like that. He lives thousands of miles away, and we were able to visit each other every six months or so for a few weeks at a time. Every time was more magical, and more painful.

I ruined my own perfect story for a mirage. I thought I saw a brighter future elsewhere, and leaped for it. I was wrong. I've been unhappy, and lately even suicidal. Nobody will ever understand, because they weren't us.

I'd give that boy my heart if his stopped beating.

Just wish I wasn't such a piece of shit to him..just wish I could be happy again..


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193,456 I joined my church today. I was excited. But I got distracted half way through when it was time for communion. Damn I missed wine.
-ALCOHOLIC.


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193,455 I'm jealous that my second cousin looks more like my grandmother than I do.


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193,454 Today was one of those days where I want to punch every person I see in the face, push down every cry baby kid, AND end my life. I stayed home all day instead.


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193,453 Some women just love picking losers and then complain. I had met few of those women, they are the kind that cannot stand being single so they will date any man that give them a little attention.  I had very few boyfriends and hardly dated it not because I'm ugly or was something wrong with me , I just refused to date any man who ask me out . You can say I was extremely picky but at least I didn't marry a loser .


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193,452 I am extremely jelous of women who have good men who provide for them and they spit on it..

Why have someone in your life who doesnt add value to it emotionally?

Why let someone drag you down when you can avoid that? Why let someone drain your savings and degrade you?


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193,449 77 years old and my mother still eats with her mouth open. She slips , sloshes, and crunches her way throu a meal. I am sure my father’s deafness is the only reason they’re not divorced.


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193,448 My husband has this thing he likes. I lie on the bed face up, with my head hanging over the edge, then he comes in and face fucks me that way.  With that he likes me to make the gagging sounds.

Truth is I can easily handle it. No need for that but i put on the show each time.


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193,447 I’m not enjoying my 30s at all, even though everyone said 30s are the best. I think not.


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193,446 I have a suggestion for the husbands who's wives just "stopped having sex with them".... sacrifice. Take ONE day where you dissolve your entire ego and do something really out of the way nice and helpful to your wife. Bring home something she likes to drink, rub her feet, do the dishes, help her if she's busting her ass being a wife/mother otherwise. If it's met with contempt, your answer to leave is there. If it melts her, because celebrating her mind is sexy and makes her not feel like a piece of meat so much and you're on your way. Pay attention to the little things, and you will get big things in return. DON'T CUT CORNERS. Women respond when our serious qualities (besides our boobs and vagina and bodies)  are desired and celebrated. It really goes a long way if you want us to be slutty for you. Dissolve the ego, #1. This is how marriages work. ITS WORK.


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193,445 I always saw my boss as a stuffy old guy. Everyone did. We'd make terrible fun of him behind his back. Not that I ever got to speak with him directly. He's the boss of like 100 people. I'm just a guy in a cubicle.

One evening though when I was working late, he was there in his corner office. Suddenly he showed up at my desk with pizza and two bottles of Snapple. He had ordered take out and was offering to share it with me.

We sat there as he asked me about my background and my parents and my schooling. I asked about his family. He said he is alone now. His children live far away and his wife died many years ago, when his children were very young. He raised them himself. He said these days work keeps him going, but he still misses his wife. There was such sadness in his voice. He stared off for a moment. I thought he might cry. Man that was powerful.

I never made fun of him again after that evening. Once every few days as he's passing by my cubicle, he'll say hello and ask how things are going. My co-workers are shocked. They don't understand why the boss man is being friendly to me. i don't feel like explaining.

I learned a lesson there. Sometimes we misjudge people.


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193,443 I came into the kitchen this morning just as my wife was coming back into the house. She was wearing her running clothes. I said “Oh, did you just go out for a run?” There was nothing negative in what I said. I was being nice and making conversation.

She blew up at me.

“What a stupid thing to ask! Do you ever think before you open that trap of yours!You know I wasn’t running. It’s Saturday morning. I never run on Saturday mornings. I walk on Saturday mornings. I run on Saturday afternoons!”

She went on to angrily tell me her workout schedule again. Not that I was asking. But she explained what she does on each day.

She signed off with, “See if that tiny brain of yours can remember next time!”

So many thoughts.

* Why is she so naturally mean. I asked a pleasant question. Why does it upset her so much.

* You know why I don’t remember her workout days. Because it is of no interest to me or anyone else she tells. I hear her on the phone telling her friends about each workout. I hear her tell her mother. I hear her tell our children. What she doesn’t understand is that none of us are interested if she cycles on Tuesday morning and does pilates on Tuesday afternoons - or if it’s the other way round. Just like none of us care about the sodium count of her last power bar. Or how many fitbit steps she took.

* She’s fit as can be. No body fat. Perfectly sculpted abs. But an extremely unpleasant person. Why does this happen to people who work out? They get so obsessed with working out. And they are condescending to the rest of us who don’t work out.

You workout nuts, I wish your runs weren’t in loops. I wish it was a straight line. Just run and don’t come back.



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193,442 No one, not even your relatives and friends, wants to see more than one photo or video of your kid...unless they are falling down, or embarrassing themselves or you.

Sorry, but it's true.


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193,441 Something I never tell people. No one in my current life knows this. I have a terrible fear of flying. It was so bad that I once refused to go on a business trip. I became the laughing stock of the office and eventually was fired.


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193,440 When I was in high school there were at least three Vietnam combat veterans who were teachers.  

One of them was a "tunnel rat" in the infantry.  He was a small guy who'd grab a pistol and clear out Viet Cong tunnels.  One was a fighter pilot who had been shot down twice by anti-aircraft fire and still made it back through enemy territory.  Another was a Green Beret, you know, a member of the US Army Special Forces.

Had some kid decided to shoot up my high school, any one of those teachers with a handgun would have ended it pretty quickly.

But no, Democrat politics means that teachers with guns are bad.


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193,439 Life is too short not to have a little companion with you. I am getting a dog this year !


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193,437 My wife and I used to watch porn together. Soft-core stuff on HBO, magazines, VCR tapes, etc. She would bring me things she thought were exciting, she would make requests for certain types of scenes, talk dirty when we watched like she wanted to do it too, and we would do all this as a warm-up to sex, during sex, or in a restaurant because it was “kinky”.

Note that I said “used to”. Now she hates it. She used to find it sexy as hell, she would get off without me even touching her, but now she said it’s degrading to women. It used to get her off, now it gets her mad. She stopped watching/looking, but I didn’t, I kept watching because she didn’t want sex anymore, and it helps scratch an itch for me. She absolutely hates it that I still like porn. That I like to see pretty naked women. That I jerk off to it.

One thing that makes me laugh (in private) is that she’s even more disgusted that a friend of ours openly allows her hubby to enjoy porn, but only as long as he stops browsing dating and hook-up websites. She can not understand that us guys have urges that have to be met, and when the wife won’t allow herself to have sex with her husband, us guys need another outlet. I’m sorry (not sorry) wives, but when you refuse to let us husbands into your panties, you are driving us to find another way to get off.

This is a secrets website, so this long intro has to lead to something. My secret. If you add up the combined video length, I’ve probably got three solid days worth of porn videos saved in a hidden folder on my laptop. There’s also about 5k naked women in pictures too. All of them are sorted by some subject so I don’t have to look too long to find what I’m after in one stroke session. Oh yeah, and a few hundred dollars worth of DVDs that are saved for when she’s gone for a few hours.

Another intro, way shorter: Some “specialists” say that porn, like marijuana, is a gateway habit. Willy Nelson had better step up his game soon, ‘cause he doesn’t have much time left to start doing heroin. And me?

This secret: After 15 years of marriage, I’d better step up my game too. Ages? Meh, they go from 18 to 80, as long as they look good, which is subjective, because most normal women don’t look like a porn model who is digitally edited. I think the hottest videos and pics are the ones of “amateur” women giving blowjobs, with second place being women stripping and getting themselves off in the bathtub or shower, and to make the numbers match, third place are threesomes, as long as the guy(s) are only enjoying the girl(s). Yeah, sure it’s a gateway drug. I’m sure that I’m only 400 years away from snuff porn or something.

On the plus side, which my wife would be happy of if she cared to think about it, is that I’m only fucking my fist. No hookers, no 2am last-call bar crawlers, no massage happy endings, no workplace girlfriends, no secretaries, no stuff like that. Just porn and my hand. But still she’s mad at me. Maybe with my tax returns I should rent a hooker. That way I can actually touch the T&A I’ve been watching for years, but my wife won’t let me do for real.



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193,436 My sex life was great when I got married, but like things usually go, she lost interest in me in bed, and after a couple of kids, our sex life was almost non-existent. Then she said she wanted me to get a vasectomy. She bugged me for like two years to get it done, promising me a return to our pre-kid ways. She went on and on in front of her friends and my family about how I should get it done.

I didn't want to. In a way, I felt it would emasculate me and make me less desirable. I did it three years ago.

She was right after all. Our sex life rocked. For two months. Since then it's been worse than ever. My lady friends that used to hit on me when they were drunk? Nope, not anymore. It's not just that my sex life with my wife has declined so horribly, she's turned for the worse, laughing when I try to turn her on. I've caught her looking at my crotch with disdain. I never should have done it.

Sure, it could be hormones, it could be a decline in testosterone, it could be just getting old, but that was probably the worst decision of my sex life. I now think of that operation/procedure as getting my nuts cut off, because that's what it's amounted to.

From the before/after timeframe of getting the vas snipped, my sex life, and my level of being horny, is a clear marker. That thirty minutes was the death knell of my sex life. Each time once a year that I have sex, it's great to not have to worry about "protection", but it hurts like a bitch mentally to know that caving to her request is what killed our sex life.

I've tried talking to my wife about this, but she laughs me off. Just like when I try to seduce her. Laughter is great in general, but it's humiliating when it comes to sex. Now she's mad that I gave up on trying. It's for my own self protection. It's her fault. I'd like to try renting a hooker to see if my shit still works, but I don't know if it's worth the price of admission.


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193,435 Here's a secret.....they are not 'PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEMS" lets call them what they really are...."GOVERNMENT THOUGHT / CONTROL INSTITUTIONS"  
dont step out of line, dont talk, dont question, your teachers know it all, obey obey obey




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193,434 Years (and years) ago, when we were very young, my brother wanted to be a policeman.  He had done all the preliminary work to get hired when my mother found out.  He was in his early twenties at the time.  Mother, knowing the Mayor, pulled some strings and disqualified him permanently.  She said, "You may not put your life on the line and sell it for employment!"  That was the end of that.

Later, he understood her reasoning and accepted it.  

Now, I understand, and lately better than ever.  

I think of that Sheriff's Deputy who did basically nothing during that school shooting.  There was armed protection on site, but it was completely ineffective.  I imagine the guy heard the sounds of the automatic weaponry and just froze.  I know I would have, if not just flee altogether.  But I am not an on-duty police officer.  

My heart goes out to him and to all of those victims, families and friends.  My heart also goes out to that officer, who can never live this down.  He will be haunted for the rest of his life by his decisions, and inaction that day.

The sad part that keeps running through my mind is that it was his duty on that day, to go into that school and die.  Chances are likely very slim he would have made it out safely after confronting an automatic weapon carrying maniac, especially with standard issue police equipment (I imagine).  I think his duty was to die that day.

That is why I am reminded of my brother and mother.  Of course, mother was right.  Sometimes, policemen (and women) have a duty to die.  Some people have that level of altruism; most don't.  

I hope people consider that when choosing this kind of service.  It is not for everyone, but there are some who are up to it.  We certainly need law enforcement, but I hope that those who are in it, or getting into it, realize the full scope and meaning of the job.

God Bless them all ... Victims, families, friends, law enforcement ... and US!


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193,433 Secretly I hope the mega Yellowstone Volcano blows. Now that would be an interesting news event to follow.


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193,432 I got hounded by a friend about why I don’t look at her snaps on Snapchat. We are 30-year-old, grown-ass women. Surely, I thought, this must be a joke. But oh no, it was, indeed, an earnest question. I am not sure how to say “I love you to death, but every snap is a selfie of you clearly wanting male attention, and then you turn around and whine that all these guys are hitting you up, and you claim  don’t want s man right now. It’s thirsty and annoying.”

I chose not to say this, however, because I am a person who picks their battles carefully, but damn. Why is it so important that I look at every snap of her selfies and their obviously suggestive intentions? Now I’m REALLY not going to look at your snaps! I’m glad that this is the only annoying person in my life.


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193,431 I have a fear of being burned to death.


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193,429 I am sexting another male. We are both married but it's hot as hell.


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193,427 My cat laying on my lap is the only thing keeping me from hanging myself.


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193,426 The "cop" who chose not to go in to the school where he was to serve and protect...kind of like a pilot who can only take off and not land.  Barney Fife would have been a better choice...  TRUMP IS RIGHT....THE GUY IS A COWARD #ScottPeterson #CowardofBroward


likes: 2
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193,425 I used to have SO many friends, and a really fun life.  Over the years, pretty much everyone moved away.  Some relocated for work, others moved home to help ailing parents.  There were marriages and divorces.  One friend won the lottery, so she and her husband quit their jobs, bought a big house in a warm state, and spend most of their time traveling overseas.  Some people only moved an hour away, but in this area, that's like moving across the country.  I had two very close male friends, but once they got married, their wives forbade them from talking to me.  And of course, there were some falling-outs.  Of the few who are left here, most have become huge flakes or only call me when they want or need something.

As each holiday passes, I get sadder and sadder.  There are no more get-togethers, no more night-before-the-holiday pub crawls, no more parties.  I haven't been to a holiday party since 2011.  I thought I made some friends at work, but again, they only call me when they want my help with something.  Neither my husband nor I have much family left, and none here, so our celebrations are just us and the kids, unless someone flies here or we fly there.

So.  A new friend at work has invited me to a party on Saturday.  It's at a really nice venue, with other people that I know.  Finally!  A party!  I can get dressed up, do my hair and makeup and nails, and dance!  And since I don't have many nice clothes left, I even get to go buy a new outfit.  Yeah!

Truth is - I'm scared out of my mind.  I've put on a lot of weight, so I'll probably look like a fatass.  What if I fall while dancing, because I haven't worn high heels in so long?  What if I drink too much and act stupid?  I don't drink much anymore, so it only takes two drinks to get me tipsy, and you know I'll have more than two drinks.  What if I get drunk and throw up?

I don't want to go.  I'm currently brainstorming the most plausible excuse for not being able to go.  I'd rather lay on the couch and watch Netflix until I fall asleep.

How fucking pathetic am I?


likes: 1
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193,423 I am extremely uncomfortable with religion. Especially Mormons.

All these young adults getting married to people they barely once e, and then having children back to back.

Nobody cares about your pregnancy, Esther, Hayli, Jacklyn, Ashley, Sara, AND Rachel. You guys aren't special in any way shape or form.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,421 I've eaten other people's food at work but only when it's late at night and I'm still there and no one else is so the food I see in the refrigerator with a name on it is probably leftover from lunch and the owner doesn't need it anymore.


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193,420 You accidentally discovered that your husband has unfilled needs.  The marriage rule book tells you to satisfy those needs, without hesitation.  If you are dressed in nice clothes, simply use your mouth.  Your marriage will be strengthened.

.



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193,419   I work some days from 9 to 1. Other days I work from 1 to 5. I'm not confused by the changing hours. But my husband is.
  I got dressed one morning in nice clothes and left the house before 9. I later realized my husband assumed I was going to work. I wasn't. I was going to the dentist. Works wasn't until 1.
  An hour later I came back to the house. The television was blaring. I poked my head into the den and there was my darling husband laid out on the couch totally naked. He was furiously rubbing his penis while a pornographic video was playing on the TV.
  I'm not sure what the marriage rule book says on this topic. What am I supposed to do at that point? He thought I would be gone all morning so he masturbates. Is this what every guy does when the wife goes out? My first thought, yucky, me and the kids sit on that couch! My second thought, I didn't know we had a dirty DVD in the house. Where has he been hiding it? What else is he hiding from me? My third thought, leave, which is what I did. I went shopping and then went to work. My husband never realized I saw him. It's not alright though. I don't want to think each time I go to work my husband is wanking himself on the couch.


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193,418 I just want to know something from all the Trump deniers.  Had the same set of facts  (and they are facts at this point, sorry) come out about "President Clinton" (had she won) - you know - Russia meddled, tried to change voters opinions by subverting social media, half her campaign staff was currently under indictment and several campign high ups (and white house employees) had been forced to resign for among other thing, failing to register as an agent of a foreign government, not to mention allegations of contact with hostile foreign powers and she simply refused to agree with our own intelligence services - would you be so eager to disbelieve?  What would you say if this all happend and it was HRC in the White House?  

Im not even trying to pick a fight.... I just want to know what all of you who say that this is "fake news" would say if HRC was president and everything else was the same.  

Go!



likes: 0
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193,417 When I try to bring about change, people get angry with me. They spread unkind rumors. It's very disheartening. People don't like things to change, even if it's for the better. In their view I must be punished for trying.

My other option is to not try to make things better. Then everyone would like me.

This is so unfair and dumb. Why do I have to make a choice? Why are people so rotten.


likes: 1
comments: 4

193,416 Wife is cheating again . lawyer says I'll probably loose the house if we divorce and I can't take it anymore but the problem with a sword of Damocles is that once it falls , the worst is over . no more worrying about the house , it ain't mine , its yours ..all yours and i can't pay what i don't have , its so simple ! I'm fucked , there are is nothing I can do but go down in glorious flames .  


likes: 2
comments: 5

193,415 I have a friend I hadn't seen in 20 years. His name popped into my head all of a sudden. I decided to google him to see what he was up to.

I found him alright. He had died two days earlier.

Come on, that is weird. How did I know to google him just then?


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,414 Привет, товарищ! Просьба представить отчет о состоянии. 'ы хорошо проникли в социальные сети?


likes: 3
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193,413 I know I'm not a good person. I'm a horrible daughter, sister, girlfriend, and friend. I'm literally nothing. I've put people through so much already. The problem is I'm so fucking tired of betraying others, lying, and using people. I'm tired of pretending I'm fucking okay. I'm tired of crying every fucking night. I just want to be happy, but it's never going to happen. I bring a dark cloud around anyone I know. I feel like I'm in this dark hole all the time. Every time I think I'm getting better, something else just comes up and shoves me back down this dark hole. Like I'm not allowed to be fucking happy and live as though I'm in quicksand. I hate this. I've brought misery upon my boyfriend now. He can't do this any longer. I ruin everything I touch or come in contact with. He's no longer happy with me. I don't blame him. Him and his family have had enough of me. Everyone has had enough of me. I can't even change my son's diaper. My son has had enough of me.


likes: 0
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193,412 The money I give to my church, AA meetings, places I volunteer at, and that pay for my therapy sessions, is the money I get from sleeping with my sugar daddy once a week.


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193,411 I know seven women having babies this year. SEVEN. None of them have a college degree. Only half of them have full-time jobs. Two of them are married. One of them has four kids already. One is my sister-in-law.

Ladies,
Close your legs.


likes: 1
comments: 8
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193,410 Many political people are discounting the students who are protesting, asking questions, asking for change. I hope you political hacks remember just these things out of all these protests, etc

1. They may not be able to vote now, but in 2020 when the presidential elect is on us, they will be voters.

2. They are not going to forget what happened last week.


likes: 3
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193,409 I was at a girls’ night the other night with a couple of friends for some wine. One of them was someone I knew but not too well. The conversation shifted to gun control, and I stated that even though I’m terrified of guns, I support responsible gun ownership. This girl mutters “Pussy...” under her breath after I said this! I try to be as respectful of responsible gun ownership as possible, which is what I thought gun owners were asking for from the public.

Anyway, today she sends me a message on Facebook telling me about a sale on the beauty/skincare line she sells. Ha! Fat chance, girlfriend. I’m not giving you shit, especially not my business.


likes: 1
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193,407 I went to a Walmart on the opposite side of the city, and it was weird. The kind of people at that Walmart were crusty, creepy, overweight, low-income people.

That’s not happening ever again.


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comments: 5

193,406 I am so glad I don’t have children. I babysit off and on for relatives, and it is draining.
I love the kids and babies in my family...but they really are a huge burden. I don’t care about how much love you have for your kids or relatives either. It doesn’t matter if you can’t live your life for you all the time. I struggle too much growing up to give up spoiling and giving myself the world now that I have the resources and lifestyle to. I would never throw that away for a kid. Plus, I’m extremely weirded out about pregnancy.


likes: 3
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193,405 This still throws me. My wife has crusty panties. She also never puts them in the washing machine.She's got it in her head that they must be washed by hand. But here's the creepy part. She doesn't wash them by hand. She has the cleaning lady do it. This poor young Slovakian woman has to touch my wife's crusty underwear every week. I feel so bad for the cleaning lady.


likes: 0
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193,404 Even on this website.

Do you see how sometimes a simple apostrophe as in:

I'm

shows up as:

I’m

with garbage characters instead of the apostrophe.

Well you can once again thank the millennials. They just decided they needed to change the way devices handle an apostrophe. They changed it without any forethought as to what it would do elsewhere on the internet. Sure, it might work correctly on iphones, but it doesn't work on Firefox browsers.

Millennial logic in action. They only look at their phone, so they assume the entire universe is based on using a phone. They never consider the rest of us.

Millennials, please, back away from the keyboard!


likes: 0
comments: 8

193,403 When ever I eat at Macs, I get the shits 20 minutes latter.


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193,402 I will never understand this country's paranoid obsession with guns. Get rid of them all, who'd miss 'em?


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193,401 I'm going to destroy you twitchy, diarrhea mouthed, paper gangsta punk.  
Oh yes, you are going to choke to death on that bag o' dicks you're always talking about.  

And here's the thing, you'll never know it was me that did it until it occurs to you that I'm the only one smiling as you turn blue and take your last rattling gasp.


likes: 0
comments: 4
flagged

193,400 A woman I know was having an affair and planning to leave her husband but she didn't have much money.  So she took out $20 in cash every time she went to a store  for over a year and her husband had no clue. She says she pocketed almost $10k in cash and he had no clue.

She called it her parting gift!


likes: 2
comments: 3




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