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194,599 Today I realized that I am isolating myself, in order to be alone with my addiction.
I must stop this now!


likes: 1
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194,598 I hate my life. People tell me I have a lot of things to be happy about. What complete bull shit. I am so sick of not being able to get respect professionally, pay wise, or just recognition for hard work via awards wise. My wife and family don't even respect me. What a fucked up way to live. Never get married, never have kids. There is just no point and no reason to be hopeful about anything in life. Some people are lucky and get success and others are just fucked!


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194,597 My husband and I have moved two times during our thirty years of marriage. Both times I insisted we buy a newly built house. I told him I didn't want to live with the accumulated dirt of who knows how many people. But the truth is, I was afraid the house could be haunted.


likes: 6
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194,596 We spoke today for the first time in weeks. Maybe months. It’s been that long because i’ve been avoiding you. It was a short talk about work and how busy we are. All nice and polite and professional and only as long as were walking the same direction. You made a plausible (but possibly made up) excuse about needing to meet someone and we went our ways. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face walking back to my desk. I was almost glowing just from being near you. I wanted to punch myself in my stupid beaming face. After all this time I still feel the same way. I wish I could get past it.


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194,595 You don't like me very much, do you?


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194,594 Oh shit! They’re salty bc I blocked their contacts in my phone! I forgot about that. Doesn’t matter, I’m still winning and they got failing grades. Haters gonna hate.
I’m not responsible for your success fuckers. It’s no secret, it’s called studying, bitches.


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194,593 I keep having fantasies in which we end up married and sometimes we even have a couple kids. I've never been a marriage and kids type, even in my fantasies. For me, it's a strange change.


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194,592 I don't know about other guys, but I always get just a bit depressed when it's time to pull my tampon out of my ass.


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194,591 I may lose my virginity this weekend wtf???
F/20


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194,590 Smart people never claim to be smart. The really smart people I have met are humble. When asked, they reply that the more you know, the more you realize how little you know. Its only the least intelligent who claim to be smart.


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194,589 I don't have a bed. I sleep on the couch every night.


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194,588 I don't think I can take this anymore.  This is  a secret?  Yes.  I don't think nobody knows, and sees this.  I am just plain tired.  Chemotherapy is kicking my ass.  There is pain involved, and I am tired of running out of pain medicine.  Do I have to do this for the rest of my life?  Or for the rest of what is left?  How much longer do I have?  I just turned 40 y/o.  I am tired of thinking about this.  I am also tired of not sleeping well.  I just want to sleep 8 hours straight, I keep waking up in the middle of the night!!!!  I wish I had not had that second surgery, it just made things worst.  


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194,587 Lots of things in our world are morally outrageous. You’re not morally outraged because you’re morally deficient. If y’all arent offended by racism, it’s cuz you’re the racists. But you can’t admit that because you’re also a narcissist. It’s really hard being smart in a sea of simpletons.


likes: 7
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194,586 I'm the manic academic disaster that wrote 194,568.

My secret is that I still haven't slept. I somehow managed to be incredibly productive today despite the fact that my pulse is a frightened, jumping rabbit in my throat and I could dissolve into tears at any given moment. I arrived at work on time after class and finished my duties early. I coordinated with a few peers on an upcoming group project. I spoke to three of my five family members on the phone. I began to assemble my resume for post-graduation. I was given a compliment by one of my professors for how well I take to her subject.

Nobody knows just how close to the edge I am. I've jumped over it. I'm falling. It's only a matter of time until the voices come back.

I can't tell my mother. She's sacrificed so much for me and I just want to make her proud. She doesn't deserve to be punished with a mentally ill mess of a daughter.


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194,585 I have one green eye and one blue eye.   I wear a blue contact in my green eye. I’m so self-conscious because it looks freakish.  33/f


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194,584 I wrote 194580.

This is a comment that I wrote on another post a while ago but I’m going to post it as a secret because I think it stands on its own. And it’s also related to the secret I just wrote.

My husband used to have what we call night terrors all the time. He would wake up and see something scary. Like a zombie flying at him or a child crawling on the wall or a demon, etc. He would react to it and usually throw something at it. We wrote it off as a sleep disorder but I know deep down he kind of believes there is a supernatural element.

He had to go away for work for a week (not a regular thing for him) and I noticed while he was gone, things started happening to me instead. One night I had the classic sleep paralysis where I woke up to something scary holding me down and I couldn’t breathe or move and it felt SO evil. I had never experienced it before, but logically I knew it was sleep paralysis so I waited it out. The second it let me go, the baby started crying from the other room. I turned my lamp on and went to get the baby.

I was sitting with the baby in his room and I could see Down the hall into my room. I saw the light suddenly turn off.

I didn’t bother trying to go back to sleep that night.


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194,583 Sometimes I think I'm the only guy who's grossed out at the idea of another man sucking my dick.  


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194,582 Sometimes I think I would love to be back in my teen years. But there’s no way in hell I’d want to be growing up now. Everybody gets offended for every fucking thing everything is racist everything is cause for moral outrage. It’s exhausting and really annoying.


likes: 10
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194,581 I want to work at Facebook. Then if somebody says something mean to me, I wouldn't just unfriend them, I'd ban their ass so they couldn't be on Facebook anymore. That's what mean people deserve. Facebook should have a Karma Department and I should run it.


likes: 2
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194,580 I just heard my husband call my name from downstairs. I was surprised. I wasn’t expecting him home for at least another hour and I didn’t hear him come in. Then he called my name again. So I went downstairs. All the lights were off. He wasn’t there. I looked outside. His car isn’t there. He’s not home. But it was clear as day.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard strange things here, but it’s the first time I’ve heard my name. Now I’m creeped out.

**Edit**
About ten minutes after I wrote that, a distinct tapping started on my bedroom wall. Exactly like if someone was drumming their finger nails. It sounded like it was directly behind my bedside table.  I ignored it. It got louder. Finally I started to get up to look. (I’m sitting on my bed working on my laptop). It stopped. I sat back down. It started up again faster. I ignored it. I got up and looked. Nothing there. It stopped when I looked. It hasn’t started again. Weird. .


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194,579 I talked to a guy on Craigslist personals. We started out complaining about our wives. After about 10 emails that were getting more and more racy, he suggested we should help each other out with the lack of spousal sex and we could jerk off in front of each other. I don't know why, but I agreed. He was humorous and sounded sincere. We arranged to meet at a beach parking lot in the winter so no one would be around. I got into his car. We shook hands. He slid his sweat pants down and started jerking off in front of me. I told him I wasn't sure I could do anything. He asked me to show him my dick. Alright, I unzipped and pulled out my cock. He asked me to stroke it. I did. He reached over and touched my cock. I reached over and touched his. He bent down and took my cock into his mouth. That wasn't part of the original plan, but I didn't object. I told him I was too nervous to come. He then asked me to suck his cock. I vividly remember the exact moment when my head was hovering an inch above his cock and I thought this is life changing. Either I'm going to do this or I'm going to regret not doing this. So I opened my mouth and lowered my head and his cock was in my mouth. I sucked on him the way my wife sucked on me. Thanks for the education honey. After about 10 minutes he started moaning and asked if he could come in my mouth. I said it wasn't a good idea. I pulled away but kept stroking him. He shot several strings of come which landed on my hands. He pulled his pants up. I did the same. We said goodbye. I drove home with his come still on my hands, making them stick to the steering wheel. I came in the kitchen door. My wife was right there making dinner. I washed my hands in front of her while she told me what she was cooking. To reiterate, I washed another man's come off my hands right in front of my wife. That was my one experience with Craigslist. I'm glad it is gone. But I am sad it is gone.


likes: 2
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194,578 My wife's good friend lost about 50 pounds. I haven't seen her in a while and then suddenly there she is looking great. But help me out here. Can I tell her she looks great? Or is that too personal? Can I mention the weight loss? Or does that let her know I used to think of her as fat. I want to be nice and supportive but in today's world people get too easily offended. Not sure what's appropriate to mention.


likes: 1
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194,577 Here I am once again so bitter over taking care of an adult child. She had kids young, abusive relationship, cannot/will not keep a job. I pay her bills to keep her out of my house. I have let her fall on her face and she learned absolutely nothing. She does not drink, smoke, or use drugs. She is just lazy and entitled. I have so much guilt because she has these two young children. How do you let them go without electric? Or food? She has messed up or taken advantage of EVERY resource availiable. My secret is I am ready to just move and not let anyone know where I am. I am so tired of taking care of other peoples shit!


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194,576 When I pass on and the kids find the code to the safe in the office they will find so much cash it will make their heads spin. All lined up in boxes with the name of  each on them.


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194,575 I feel like the best option I have is joining the army and it scares me.

No student debt though.


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194,574 I love when my wife describes her past love experiences with other men. She'll talk about a one night stand she had when on vacation in Italy, before we met. So hot.


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194,573 I'm finding most reasonably sane people leave facebook. The place has becomes a cesspool for nastiness. Ugly people thrive on facebook. They will never leave. It gives them a chance to do battle, which they love.


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194,572 I don't know if I could live in van, but living on a boat sounds ideal. A sailboat about 40 feet long. They are so cheap these days because fiberglass lasts forever. Inside there is a kitchen, a bedroom cabin and a sitting area. I'd have a solar panel on the stern  so no paying for electricity.  You pay about $10 to fill up the water tanks each month. You get free wifi if you are close enough to a marina. I'm a simple eater, lots of spaghetti. I could eat for $10 a day. Health care is free these days.  My entire cost of living would be about $5,000 per year. And if I don't like the view or the neighbors, I just sail on down to the next port. It could be a great life.


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194,571 A friend messaged me on Facebook about how fat a coworker of mine is. I went along with it ,and unfortunately Facebook was left open on my computer, and the coworker saw it. I will not get forgiven I'm sure, but I really do feel like shit.


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194,570 A fuck buddy of mine was talking to me yesterday about a girl he loves that's coming back into his life, and his much he wants to use this as a chance to get her back. I think he should, because it's the first thing that's made him want to lay off the crank, and as his friend I want that for him.

Still though, it made me think of the last person I loved. And it made me really sad, because that person has other people in his life to take care of. I respect that. But to hear my fuck buddy talk about it reminded me of how meaningless our connection is. We fuck because it's convenient, but we don't really connect on a deeper level a lot. It just made me miss him more and feel a lot more empty inside


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194,569 Life is too short too be hateful , if you don't like a person or a family member just cut them off your life or avoid them , don't interact with people you don't like unless you have to and quit worrying about others just focus on your life and the people you love and care for .


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194,568 I have been awake all night alternating between uncontrollable crying jags, complete dissociation, and engaging in meaningless distractions while I try in vain to brush off the heavy insomnia I've been struggling with more and more as of late. I have not slept in over 24 hours.

Come 9ᛆ I will emerge from my dorm room clean, fresh, and as put-together as I can manage. I will attend my biochemistry lecture, then a genetics lecture after that. Later in the afternoon I'll attend another seminar and continue preparing for finals. Later tonight I will strip myself naked and lay down on the cold linoleum floor of my dorm room, once again, and accept the chill as punishment for being so broken.

Once again, I will not sleep. This pattern will continue until I medicate myself into slumber.

I wonder how many other academics are mentally ill. How many biochemists struggle with these delusions and compulsions? How many scientists suppress the urge to knock back the jug of 12M HCl when they dilute it in lab??? Why don't my medications work? Why will I be hospitalized against my will (again) if I try to seek help? Why can't I sleep? Why do my hands shake like this?

Almost 8am now. Time to shower. Time to put on a pretty dress and flick my eyeliner just so. Time to put on my mask and pretend to be human


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194,567 Just understand that when I look at you two and smile, this is what I'm thinking:

You assholes.  You cocksucking little shits.  How dare you say that to me.  You could have been honest, but this is the choice you made.  Your egos have fucked your careers.  And you think I don't know what you're doing?  You two are as stupid as you are arrogant.  You have no idea what's about to happen to you.



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194,566 Man...Kevin ...I really wish you loved me. And you know this. So...chances are you never will :/


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194,565 Doting gushy grandmothers annoy the crap out of me. They probably feel guilty they were mean mothers, so now they try to make amends by being overly involved grandmothers.


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194,564 I’m moving my family a thousand miles away over the summer. It’s a better job opportunity making twice my current income. Better benefits. Nice town.
So why do I feel like such a dick for moving my kids in the middle of high school?? I hope this isn’t the one thing that ruins their life for them when it’s supposed to be something that makes our life better.


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194,563 With craigslist casual encounters gone...where is a married man going to find a married woman to fool around with??


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194,562 I tell people I don't care about getting married or having kids, but mostly because I know I don't deserve nice stuff like that. Once you've seen a dysfunctional house hold, you don't imagine a future any different.

With that being said, I've been getting high and having vivid dreams about the future. They are strange. They often involve being around a male friend or acquaintance and dating them or being married to them, and we find out I'm pregnant with their child. I watch myself be happy in the dream, but in reality I know I shouldn't be happy. I'm too young for a baby and I get confused.

But yeah, I keep having dreams about getting married and having babies when I do vicodin. I don't like it.


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194,561 I am attracted to both a 24 year-old and a 58 year-old and I will sleep with whoever one of them asks me first.

F/46


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194,560 Having kids was interesting. It was all consuming. My entire life changed. Everything was about the kids. Truth be told, now that my role as a parent is almost over because they are going off to college, well I'm kind of relieved. I did my part. Now I'd like to have a life of my own once again.


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194,559 Please please please text me first, because I'm too scared to do it. I promise if you make the plans I will come over and fuck you. Just PLEASE make the plan and I'll follow through.


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194,558 If a guy asks me for a pic, it's flattering for sure.  If we are involved, it's great.  But these guys who want pics to jerk off to, who disappear after you send a pic because they jerk off and fall asleep, that's annoying.  You don't talk to me, you don't try to hang out, but you want my pics to jerk off to.  Wtf is that?


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194,557 It amazes me how many married women are willing to send nudes to men that meet online.  
My phone is filled with all sorts of these  pictures, can't imagine the husband's would approve or know.....


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194,556 That Guns ‘n roses song “Don’t cry.” I can hold the last note longer than Axel Rose.

There is not much opportunity to use this talent.

F/39


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194,555 I just want things to get better.


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194,554 Oh you cleaned the house and did laundry? Thanks, but I’ve been cleaning the entire fucking house and doing laundry since I was 8. It ain’t shit, and I can do it without you, in fact, I prefer to clean my own fucking house and do my own fucking laundry. I do it right. You frustrate me by doing it wrong. Maybe, instead of wasting time and energy on that bullshit, just feed our fucking kids some real food from home without buying fast food. Good job cleaning the house, wasting time, money, and food. Fucking idiot. Tired from cleaning so you can’t cook? Please. Welcome to my world. Except I don’t make excuses. I just do it.

Dumb motherfucker. Gonna be mean to me because I don’t give a fuck about your half assed cleaning attempt and dinner fail. I can’t wait until I have enough money saved up to leave. And then imma leave you with everything but our kids. I don’t need a goddamn thing from you. I’ve ensured that child support will be unnecessary.


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194,553 When my friend comes to visit she brings me a gift. It's usually a little trinket like a Christmas ornament or a vase. I've begun to realize these were items she already had in her home. She has no money. She can't buy me something new, so she gives her own possessions away. It makes me very sad. I don't need a gift. I want her to have her things back. I don't want to embarrass her by telling her I know these are her own keepsakes. :(


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194,552 Not flushing after using the toilet at Starbucks has to be the rudest most disgusting thing a person can do. People are gross!!!!!!!!


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194,551 It’s funny. Now matter how far I run, how hard I work, how much I do, I always end up back here, in this place, in this headset. I mean I’ve taken some major strides to get away from my old self and start a new life, but when people say that you can’t run away from your problems, it’s very true, especially in a world where everyone is connected to everyone.

But still, I’m trying to live a normal life. I moved to a new city and got my fresh start, yet here I am, doing the same exact thing I’ve done since I was a kid.

I just wish I could break the cycle. I wish I could be like the people around me and understand the joy in the small things in life. But instead I’m here, doing the same thing I’ve done for years, only now I’m too scared to do anything else.


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194,549 I'm so tired of reading suicide comments, usually I just skip those posts. People who successfully committed suicide, most likely didn't write about it, they just did it. It's a surprise for their friends and family. I think, that when people still have the desire/ interest/energy to write about suicide, they're not "ready." However, this is just my opinion, would like to know what others think about this...


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194,548 I've been such an ass in my life. I'm not sure why. An example. I worked at a publishing company. There was a woman on the floor people liked. I hated her. I'm not sure why. She annoyed me. About six months after I started, she resigned to take another job. The boss threw her a going away party. He bought a giant card and we were all asked to sign it. Everyone wrote things like "Best success in your new job!"

You know what I wrote. "I don't care you are quitting. Good riddance."

I dunno. I thought it would be funny.

The next day the boss called me into his office and asked why I wrote such a mean message in the card. I had no good explanation. It was immature but I didn't want to tell him so.

The boss cooled to me after that. He never gave me the time of day. He never said hello. He never asked me to do special projects.

About a year later I quit. The boss didn't throw me a going away party. He didn't arrange to have everyone sign a card. Nothing. Only one person said goodbye and I think that was only because he just happened to be riding down on the elevator with me.

God I was such an ass. I'd like to think I'm a better person now, but I'm not so sure.

Wish I remembered that woman's name, the one with the card. Maybe I could send her a card with a much warmer message and apologize for being such a jerk. Or maybe that would be ultra creepy? I dunno what to do anymore.


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194,547 This is a true story- I’m not on drink nor drugs but here goes. I lost my house keys in my home 3 days ago (I could not find them anywhere).  When I get home I automatically hang them on the mirror/key chain holder- always. Anyway, fast forward to this morning, I call my husband at work and ask him where he found them- he swears he did not- he’s not a liar so I know he’s not kidding. So I ask my son (who is autistic and never lies)- he knows nothing about my lost keys (nor did I tell him). Now I’m creeped out, again. This house is very strange to say the least. When we moved in we would see a “shadow man/person)” darting from room to room or peeking around corners. When we ran after “it” it was gone. After much research the guy that used to live here hung himself in my daughter’s bedroom (that’s a whole other story but explains a lot)- what is this? I’m not crazy nor a drama queen. Has anyone else experienced something like this? The “happenings” as we call them were frequent for about a year. We had the house blessed, burned sage, said prayers and it stopped- for a bit but now it’s back. Any advice/thoughts are appreciated.


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194,546 I checked out of my hotel room on Thursday morning. They released the hold on my credit card,  but then never charged me for my stay. It is now Saturday afternoon. Maybe they forgot? Maybe the universe is going to let me have this one? Considering I didn't want to go on that business trip anyway, that would be nice...


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194,545 I'm trying to love my wife. I really am. I'm trying to overlook all the selfish things she does. But she makes it so hard.

Last Saturday we made a plan to clean the house and fix little things. I got up early. I immediately plastered a hole in the wall. Then I cleaned the garage. Did all that before 9 AM.

She on the other hand slept late. Ok. I can look past it.

I fixed a loose tile in the bathroom. I vacuumed. I went to the hardware store for a new door hinge.

By12 noon she still hadn't done anything.

Next thing I know she is in her running clothes. She went for a jog. She came back at 1 PM. Then she went to her sister's house to pick up some extra workout clothes. She came back at 4 PM.

By then I had weeded the garden.  I bit my lip when she came home.  I can be the bigger man. I can let things go.

I asked if she could possibly clean the bathrooms. She sneered. She doesn't clean bathrooms. She said she had book group coming up and she needed to finish reading. She made herself coffee and climbed into bed with her novel.

I dug a hole by the foundation of the house to fix a crack in the cement. Nothing more strenuous than digging a hole. Except maybe digging myself out of a hole - the hole being my marriage...




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194,544 My marriage is disconnected. I don’t know why. We are not mean to each other, but our words are sharp. We walk on eggshells. We have had lows before, short-lived, so I don’t generally worry. We are solid. We are perennial. Love always blooms again. But this time... is like a long winter that doesn’t seem to end.

He loves the shit out of me. This I know. Sometimes at night he puts his arms around me and says “I miss you. I miss you so much.” I say “Why do you miss me? I’m right here. I never left. Turn back to me.” But he hasn’t yet.

This winter brings thoughts, unbidden, unwanted, a little shameful. I think of my knees on the floor with him in my mouth. His hands tangled in my hair. I look up at him. Thoughts of a man inside me, our faces close, breathing words of need. These thoughts are usually, but not always, about my husband. I feel diminutive in how bad I want someone to ask me about my day, to be interested in my thoughts. Somebody to connect with.

We went out with some friends. My husband made jokes at my expense. It was funny. I can laugh at myself. But it kept coming. Too much. Like pricking me with barbs. I give up. I close in on myself. It is not intentional. I smile and laugh, but I am disconnected. He can tell.

His friend talks to me. He asks me about work. We talk about traffic. We discuss the price of beef. Later we are standing beside each other and our arms brush by mistake. Our skin stays touching just a little longer than it should. It happens again. A few times. It is not on purpose, but neither of us acknowledges it or makes any move to widen the gap between us to stop it from happening again. I am reading into nothing, or I am reading into everything.

It reminds me of how we used to be, that friend and I. We used to spend a lot of time together, as a group. He would flirt with me mercilessly. “Come sit on my lap and tell me something sexy.” He said things so outrageous that nobody could believe he meant them. I would laugh it all off. I did notice him watching me and seeing me. He noticed I got my hair cut. My husband did not. I saw him watch me casually, absentmindedly stroke my fingers up and down the stem of a wine glass. I could see him thinking of my fingers stroking other things. It wasn’t absentminded. I knew exactly what I was doing. When we would hug goodbye, it would last a breath longer than it should have. My fingertips would be a little too firm on his shoulder. His hand would run down the length of my back. My husband noticed. “He wants to have sex with you,” he said. I laughed “Yeah right.” But the validation made me think I might not be reading into nothing.

I noticed him too. His hands, his shoulders. Sometimes his green eyes made me lose track of his words. (Honestly they still do). I wanted him bad. I wanted him hard. I burned for him.

He kissed me once. A joke about how he would take care of me until my husband came back. His arms around me, rubbing my bare shoulders. Then he kissed me, a peck on the lips. My surprise was not an act, nor was my reciprocation. But laughing it off like it wasn’t a big deal was very much an act. He did it in front of a bunch of friends. They didn’t think anything of it. If it was real, it would not have been public. But I sensed in him a desperation. Maybe I was reading into nothing. This was at his own wedding.

There have been other temptations. Sometimes guys will try unabashedly. They sling their arms around me, casually, but testing the waters to see if I will let them go further. Their hands on my shoulders, their fingers on my neck, hands on my waist, my stomach. Sometimes their touch made my heart pound and my breath quicken. I’m sure they could tell. But I have never let it go further. I have never been unfaithful. I have excellent willpower.

I didn’t know at the time (and still don’t) if the feeling was mutual between us. But I did know that if we ever ended up alone and he gave me an opening. If he gave me a sign that wasn’t ambiguous. I wouldn’t resist. I would attack and devour him. I couldn’t let it happen. There was too much at stake. Two marriages, children, an intricate web of friendships. It couldn’t happen. So I pulled back. I don’t think I did it consciously, but I did it. I became formal and polite. He stopped flirting. If he ever did have feelings for me, they dissolved. Of that I was sure. But I still burned for him.

But the brushing of arms woke me up. Now I know, more of a discovery than a decision, that I will not wait forever for my husband to turn back to me. I can’t. I will burn out and implode  like a collapsing star. But he still has time. Turn back to me.

Later my husband came and put his arm around me. It surprised me. I don’t know why he did it, but he did. I melted, faded into him. I almost cried. This is all I want. Turn back to me.

I’m reading into nothing, or I’m reading into everything.

I don’t know what’s going to happen.
Life is strange.


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194,543 girl who said she thinks her boyfriend hates her a few days ago. how can i get out? i fear what he will do. i know it’s sad but i can’t bring myself to break up with him i wish he would just leave me so i can’t be at fault and further punished. i miss my freedom. i miss being able to have friends. i hate how me makes me hate myself.


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194,542 Now that Craigslist doesn't have personal ads anymore, where are you going to meet random guys to cheat on your husband with now?


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194,541 My secret is I'm terrified that more teachers like Randa Jarrar are brain washing kids. My dad was right. This country will collapse from within, not from outside. Makes me sad.


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194,540 I was adopted-kind of stolen as my birth mom now tells it. Reconnected with her years later. But then its not like she fought with all her will to get me back. She simply made more kids.
Anyway things wound up being ridiculously tragic with the adopter parents. Lots of things. For a while when I was around 12 or so the woman moved out and I was just stuck here with "dad". I didn't recall until i was about 40 or so that "dad" had made some attempts to get me to do (disgusting physical) things with him. I'm a male. I didn't even understand what it even was but I basically just excused myself from the situation and stayed in my room even more so after that.
Like I said I had completely blocked it out until poof these memories showed up one day years later, and now many things make more sense: his uncharacteristic interest in getting a job with school age children after he retired, and buying those kids things,, the messed up behavior of his real son, the foster kids that they had raised before I came around that inexplicably disappeared from this family unit.
They're both passed on now. I'm living here in the very same house (its cheap) and sharing it with their very very prn addicted birth son. I know that their spirits linger here over their son.


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194,539 I'm not as outspoken as I used to be.  This has made my life easier in many respects, but I also feel like a lot of my personality has eroded away.  Then, I think - maybe that's a good thing? ... and then I get even MORE depressed.


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194,538 Secret: Never touch the those little handles under the sink that control the flow of water. Sounds like you can touch them. You're cleaning under there. Oh here, let me turn the handle a little to clean better.... and then after you turn it, it starts dripping. Never touch 'em.



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194,537 I see all these high school student protesters on the news. Good for them. I appreciate there chutzpah. They say they are going to be old enough to vote in November and they will force change to happen. It makes me sad. In November they will find out first hand how little their vote actually matters.




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194,536 We're just lost souls screaming in a fish bowl, year after year.  This is the most accurate description of humanity on earth.


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194,534 My dad let me down


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194,533 I said I took hard drugs. Twas a lie.


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194,532 I hate having a long neck. Oh, yes, it's supposed to be attractive--ha! I can't wear anything but v-necks or I look like a giraffe, and if I don't style my hair just right I look like a lollipop. Dangling earrings also look horrible, so I always wear posts. I can't find a shoulder rest for my fiddle--none of them fit right and they cause excruciating pain in my neck and shoulder. So I have to hold it in an absolutely weird posture in order to play comfortably.

You want the long neck? TAKE IT!!!! I'd be glad to lose an inch or two of height!


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194,531 I Edged my cock twice today.so amazing and addictive!!


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194,530 Related to a comment below...

Do women really like to be spanked a little and have their hair pulled? I pulled my wife's hair once during sex and she turned around and slapped me. She immediately got up and sex was then over. LOL.


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194,529 I just wanna be numb to the fact that I’m nothing to everyone. Being a kid I was naive and didn’t realize it. But now as an adult I see it and that’s life and apparently I have to live it


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194,528 I usually live a happy life and try not to be too spiteful. But every once in a while I scour the internet for evidence that the horrible people from my high school have somehow become miserable.


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194,527 I'm wearing that red dress you like with the tall boots. Now come over baby.


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194,526 To the person who says all German's are evil.  If it's any consolation, the country is being over run by Muslims so I'm sure in the future the culture will be diminished.  F/24, lives in Berlin and my secret is that I resent this.


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194,525 Wife of annoying husband here again. Today I got to watch him pick his nose right in front of me, look at it then wipe it on his pants. He did this a few times and even when I looked right at him he continued to do it. Its like he has no shame. Geez, I wonder why the romance in this relationship is dead :/


likes: 3
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194,524 I don’t drink or do drugs, but I do eat my fruit without washing it 90% of the time.

I can’t be bothered.


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194,523 All who are German decent are evil. Look at their history. They all act self entitled to.
I'm German. I'm ashamed to even claim this.


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194,522 Sometimes, I'd like to be able to laugh and say "you get what you deserve" without abject reprisals from the karma police.

I'm German-American. Schottenfreude is a part of my cultural heritage.


likes: 1
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194,521 My husband doesn't want kids and that's the reason I give people when they ask why we don't have any. But you know why else?I'm a physicist. I went to school too damn long to be a stay at home mom. also I'm 27, my husband is 37 but I don't want the risk of the kid having birth defects or mental health problems. My mum had 8 kids over the course of her life. 1 was still born, 1 had pediatric cancer, 2 have autism.My husband is a carrier for sickle cell anemia, even though he's phenotypically normal himself. Our in laws are disappointed but I am confident we are doing the right thing.


likes: 5
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194,520 I feel like an imposter at this job. I lied to get it, have no experience in the field, and did a bump of coke at my desk yesterday. I'm a mess and spiraling hard, but no one would ever know. My room is clean, my clothes are clean, I have 2 jobs, i sing in the shower, and I'm always smiling. But deep down all i can think about is what a rotten piece of shit i am. Part of me knows it's self sabotage, and the thrill of the risk, and straight up addiction, but part of me wants it all to fall to hell so I'll have an excuse to kill myself. But that'll never happen. I'll just keep staring at the edge


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194,519 I’m patient and understanding with people bc there seems to be something about me that makes people lose patience with me. I try to help/stay out of the way/anticipate needs/ etc but it still pisses people off. I just think these people want to be treated like shit, so I need to be an asshole like the rest of the world.  

It is cool when I meet people who are also patient and understanding. Those people are few and far between, but when I come across them I hold them in high regard.


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194,518 California is a very expensive State to live in. Home prices and rents are very high. People with jobs are living in their cars, vans and motor homes just to survive.

Now that is illegal, and these people are fined and told to leave.

What has become of us? Why have hard working people suddenly criminal? My secret is this scares me very much. But I don't tell anyone. This can happen anywhere.


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194,517 We are 24 and 28. I cheated on my boyfriend to be with you, and after everything...two and a half years later - we don’t even have sex anymore & I literally regret ever hurting my ex over you.


It’s probably for the better though. After we have sex I feel sad inside.
Believe me. I know.
I deserve it all.


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194,516 I am happy in my new job!  A co-worker let slip that when I was applying for the position months ago, my boss made a point of mentioning my political affiliation. No marks against my work but they emphatically mentioned who I had voted for in 2016.  Not surprised in the least.  I am much happier in my new position and was counting the days to leave the old.
- M smiling knowing that politics WAS an issue at the old job

P.S. I'm not suing and not even thinking about it.  Leaving there was compensation enough.


likes: 1
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194,515 He said I'm intriguing. Well, he said it to his friend, who repeated it to me. He said I'm intriguing and is trying to fuck me. Wtf does it mean that I'm intriguing???


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194,514 It's snowing again. You freaking kidding me? It's snowing!!!!! This winter will never end.


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194,513 I want to disappear.


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194,512 I just had to remind myself that when we got back together it SUCKED. Just like it always sucked. I do not know what I am pining for. At least these periods are brief these days.


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194,511 If someone goes to Disney World or Las Vegas regularly for their vacations, I automatically think they are an idiot. I wish I didn’t think so but can’t help it. Once or twice is understandable. More than that is weird to me. So many other places to see in this country alone, not to mention the rest of the world.


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194,510 thinking about you all alone tonight and how much i'd love to be rubbing your inner thighs


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194,509 My husband annoys the hell out of me every day with his old man idiosyncrasies. The thing is he's not old...he's 38. For example right now he just finished a snack... he's smacking his lips and making mouth noises. He does this after eating every damn time for like 15 minutes straight. 15 minutes straight of smacking, licking and slurping. Wtf!! So gross. Its literally making me cringe. Just stop already!!!!!


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194,508 I'm mentally unwell. My problem is that I worry all the time. Worrying is part of my make-up. It's like I always have to be worrying about something. In looking back at the last few weeks, I worried that a teacher was going to sue me because I told a another parent I didn't like the teacher. I don't even know if it got back to the teacher. But that didn't stop me from stewing about it for a week while I waited for a guy in a trench coat to serve me with papers. Then I worried someone in my town was going to sue me because the person felt insulted by something I said. (I really didn't mean it as an insult.) Then I saw an item in the news about a man who died of high blood pressure so I  worried my blood pressure was too high. Then I was worried I am going to end up homeless. This is a bizarre worry, but it could happen I guess. Currently I'm worried no one likes me and they only tolerate me. I think I'm lacking in self esteem in the worst way.


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194,507 I still can't get over the fact that I've never had a birthday party :(


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194,506 I want to make amends with my wife's family, but I'm not sure how. They have been unkind to me over the years. For example, one of them came to visit for a week and ended up lashing out at me because he didn't like my opinion. I didn't argue back. I just walked away. I always walk away. Repeating pattern. They are mean and always right. I walk away and say nothing. Except that I try to avoid them.  But now I'm thinking life is too short for this pettiness. I wish we could all be friends. Not sure how to get back in the fold though.


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194,505 Here's a petty reason I didn't date a guy: I used to have a crush on this guy from church even though he was like 20 years older than me. Then I was hit with a 2016 presidential election meme and realized he deadass looks like Ben Carson w/o the goatee and what had been seen could not be unseen.




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194,504 Sure feels good telling people NO! I used to be such a pushover. but FUCK IT! Feels good.    NO!


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194,503 I'm sorry but I just cannot be part of the drunken masses that just drink and want to go be entertained by some event. Walk along like a  Zombie. Hey let's go stare at this....


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194,502 My husband has gaslighted our marriage into oblivion.  And me too.


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194,501 Growing up, my dad was a ten minute car ride away. That said, I probably saw him five times a year. He never came to pick me up, he never came to a softball game, volleyball game, play I was in, Girl Scout ceremony, Christmas pageant, etc.  I felt disposable. So yes, now in my thirties, though he and I have a better relationship now; I think I’m presenting with “daddy issues.” I feel like a cliché and I genuinely want to move past this.

My most recent experience with a man left me feeling much the same way as the man before him... disposable.

This is painful, I “feel it” and then I “think it” and then I believe “I must be someone you throw away.”  If you can relate to this kind of belief and pain and pattern in your love life, how the hell do you overcome this?

Clearly I know I need to use better judgement with men. There were red flags with the last two but I blew right past those flags because I loved the feeling of being held by them. Just a hug and being in his arms can make you feel so safe. Ha, an illusion.

Seriously, if this rings a bell for you, how did you make progress here? I’m at the age where “daddy issues” are really something I need to grow out of, I’m just not quite sure how.


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194,500 I see all these videos on YouTube about living full time in a van and traveling the country. They all seem so happy. But I question if they are. I wonder how they make money. I wonder how bad they smell. Sometimes I'm jealous because they can pick up and leave anytime. Still, not sure if I could do it.


likes: 3
comments: 10




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