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196,094 Life lessons learned.  I am so sorry if I came across that way.  What you are saying is not fair nor is it true.  If you had only communicated you would understand.


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196,092 I don't think I can I get AIDS if I come in a guy's mouth, but he doesn't come in mine. Is this true? Sounds logical. He got my fluids but I didn't get his so I have nothing to worry about. I'm sort of counting on this to be correct.


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196,091 When I was about 25 I went to a bachelor party. It was in Boston. We ended up in a strip club. I started chatting with one of the dancers. She explained she was a student at Harvard Med School and she stripped to make money for tuition.

Her story really touched me. She was obviously brilliant to be at Harvard. She was beautiful too. How sad she had to use her beauty to pay for school.

In the weeks after encountering this woman, I thought about her often. I saw myself as her savior. I could help her. I could pulled her out of her predicament. I could make her life much better. She shouldn't have to strip to survive. She should be focused on her studies. She could become a brilliant doctor and cure cancer, or Alzheimers. She could win the Nobel prize for medicine.

I just knew it. She was the one, the one for me. She was my true soulmate. We were meant to be together.

I decided to work harder at my job. I was going to shine and rise up and become the boss and make loads of money. Then I'd go back to Boston and track down this girl. I'd pay her tuition and she would cry seeing me care so much about her well being. No pressure, but she'd recognize what a good guy I was and love me for it. We'd get married and have a family. Our commitment to each other would last our whole life long. And she need not worry, her stripping secret would be safe with me. Our children, family and friends would never know how we met and how I saved her and became her hero.

I had this all worked out in my head.

By two months later, after I first met the woman, my plan was in full swing. I worked late every night. My boss noticed. He was giving me extra tasks. This was going to work. I was going to be a great success at the company.

Then late one night I was siting in the office alone working on a spreadsheet while still thinking about my Boston wife-to-be. I had an epiphany out of the blue......... she was lying.

Duh. Of course she was lying. She's a stripper. She says things so I'll give her more money. She wasn't a Harvard student. No way. How stupid of me to fall for such an obvious ploy.

I felt like an idiot. I left the office and got some much needed sleep. I stopped staying late. My super star employee status faded. I became a regular 9 to 5 worker again.

I eventually met a girl who went to Syracuse University. She worked in marketing. We got married and are living a rather plain vanilla life. We have a mortgage for a boring ranch house. We fight pretty regularly. My car needs new tires and sex is infrequent. Our life is eh.

Sometimes, just sometimes, when I'm alone with my thoughts, I wonder....... what if....... what if my Boston girl really was a Harvard student.... what if she really was the one.... what if she was there in front of me and I talked myself out of it.....


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196,090 After spending a little too much time on this site and reading the things guys say about sex, my dirty talk had become much dirtier. Last night I told my hubby “give me a huge load of cum to swallow.” I don’t think he liked that. Too far. Need to dial it back. Oops.


likes: 5
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196,089 Hillary should wear a jacket saying "I do care."

Could you imagine?  It would be front page news around the world. In fact, all democrats should wear these "I do care" jackets. It would be the largest fashion trend of the year.


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196,088 I don’t give a shit that you’re back in town. I don’t give a shit how long you will be here either.

I’ll be civil. You are nothing to me.

You know why.

Stop reaching out and take the hint.

Remember how you wanted to phase Clarissa and I out? Wish granted.

Now you go phase out.


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196,087 I think I've grown so scared that I'm unlovable or even unlikable that I don't want to try anymore. It's easier being single, alone. I can live without worry that I'm not enough for you or that I'm too difficult for you to enjoy my company.

I also live without hugs and kisses and a partner for dinner dates. I live without loving because I am scared to be loved.


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196,086 My friends don't understand depression.  "Just nut up and be happy!".... I really wish it was that simple. I should be happy. Things are great!

And I still want to sleep all day and cry. Even though I try to be happy.


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196,085 Life lessons learned, I know the value in our meeting now. I’m in a better place now than I ever have been. It was only after much introspection, study and meditation that I realized what you really are. Sure, I have flashbacks now and then to where I was and what I allowed you to do to me. The gaslighting, the manipulation, , the constant projection and your continual fears.  
I can empathize with you now that I’ve had space, but I know the signs of a malignant narcissist and thank god the anxiety diminishes a little each passing day.

I feel for your current and future hostages.  I know you’ll never change, so the truth is, I win.


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196,084 You are no longer the daughter I know. You are rebelling against us. Can't you see it?


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196,083 My dad calls me a piece of shit, retard or lazy. Calls me loser, says that I blame others for my behavior. He's said that I'm useless. I might as well just die and drop dead.
What he doesn't realize is that I am all those things and then some. He's created me to become the very things he's called me. He doesn't realize that because of him I have lost my drive and self worth.
He doesn't realize that I have anxiety and depression. I'm a substance abuser. And would rather give up on life then be in the same room with him my abuser.


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196,082 Who am I?
But who am I really?? If my personality, my mannerisms, my body language, even my god damn accent... is mirrored from whoever I'm with at the time...I'm not sure I know how to be ME--because I never have been.
I think I'm a chameleon. Tomorrow I may just be a snake?


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196,081 He's always going to love me. Being with an overly emotional train wreck who can't take constructive criticism over food is beyond childish and overlapped dramatic, incompetent, worthless, discouraging and always upset. Only drives him to fuck me some more on his lunch brakes. When he tells you, your therapy classes are not working and your still the same. Wouldn't you want to take that for fuckin face value? Or do you only care about your own fucked up feelings?


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196,080 My NMom is abusing me over my long distance boyfriend because she hates him and believes she has a right to control who I date. It's getting worse by the day.

I am 28 years old still living with my Nmom, I work as a nurse full time so I am still in the process of saving to get a place of my own, I need another month or two of paychecks and I should be able to move out without any worry about money (I have a dog that I need to take with me). That alone has caused her to abuse me verbally and physically because she wants me to stay in her house to help her while she goes back to school. She believes I owe her since she started a college fund for me, and she has accused me of "abandoning her" and being "a selfish and ungrateful c**t." That alone is enough justification for me to move out but the way she is treating me because she hates my LDR has been horrible and has only caused her to escalate.

I have been in an LDR with him 7 months now, we were friends on Facebook for about 2 years before that but we started talking more and things came to what they are now. He has been really supportive of me getting my own place and establishing independence from my mother. He has a history of exes who were N's and he actually pointed out my mom was an N way before I realized it. He is there for me whenever I need emotional support, he has been so caring and patient with me, and he is just really sweet in general. We talk on the phone occasionally but it is difficult as I don't have a lock on my door and my mother barges in whenever she wants and if she found out I was on the phone with him, she would kill me. He is also really hard working, he is working 2 jobs over 60 hours a week to save money to move down to be with me. The more I get to know him, the more I feel really connected with him and he brings me so much happiness. The only problem is my NMom.

She absolutely despises him because 1.) he doesn't have a college degree and believes he is "lazy, uneducated scum" 2.) She thinks he is manipulating me into moving out and abandoning her somehow 3.) He blocked her on Facebook (after she sent him a harassing message on Facebook to stay away from me and never come near her) 4.) He has sent me multiple gifts but since I live with my mom they come to her house and she absolutely flipped that "I am getting gifts from predators online" and I have since told him to stop sending me things because she threatened to burn them or send them back 5.) He offered to buy me a plane ticket to visit him in his state and I stupidly told my mom and she was disgusted that I would fly up to a "strange man" to "spread my legs for" and called me a "WHORE".


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196,079 Dear Mom,

I am transgender. I am your daughter. You showing me a picture of my abuser who made me get naked with him under the covers as if I was his princess. He showed me his erection and made me "perform" on him. Then he held me down, spat on my face, and kissed me.
Here you are wondering why I'm so miserable and want to hang myself in our garage?


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196,078 It's funny to see how miserable you still are. I win.


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196,077 Back in about 1990- ish, my friends and I went on a group trip to a computer convention. We rented a van and went away for the entire day. There were about a dozen of us. On the return trip home we stopped in a McDonalds. Each of us ordered a meal. Turns out there was a promotion going on at the time where McDonalds gave out a scratch off card with every order. As I remember, there were 9 silvery circles on the card. You had to scratch off three. If they matched, you received what ever food item was shown for free. So of course each of us scratched off our three circles.

What McDonalds didn't count on though was that we were a group of 12 nerds. Not only did we scratch off the three circles, after we didn't win a prize, we scratched off all the circles on every card. We noticed something. There were only four types of cards. And the first circle on each of the four cards was different.

Revenge of the nerds.

One of us went up and ordered fries. He got a card. He scratched off the first circle. Now we knew which kind of card it was. Then using our original cards with all circles cleared, we could easily choose what circles to scratch on the new card. We won a milk shake or something. Amazingly, when our guy went up to collect, the cashier girl gave him another card.

Okay. We were able to win fries. That came with another free card. Then we won a burger or whatever.

We probably got about half a dozen free items before we felt bad about taking so much. We weren't even hungry. We just liked beating the system. It was very satisfying and one of my favorite nerd memories.


likes: 12
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196,076 I attended a high school graduation today. Some of the seniors had brought along inflatable beach balls which they blew up and then tossed into the air. The students then started punching at the balls, knocking them around the crowd. It was ridiculously distracting for everyone. The speakers were thrown off track. The adults in the bleachers were visibly annoyed. No one was listening to the speeches. The principal chimed in and asked the students to stop. They didn't. Really, they were asked by the principal and ignored her pleas.  These students came across as the most immature brats. My thought was how ill-prepared they are to go forth into the world. Their 13 year educational journey ended where it started - they were nothing more than taller kindergartners. I, along with so many in the audience, were disappointed. If we are hoping this younger generation is going to save the world, we are mistaken.


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196,075 I feel so adrift tonite
The love of my life seriously ill
Out of hospital and into a physical rehab
I have to wonder how I'll look back at this time after I make it through it...


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196,074 Be careful what you wish for.  My mother used to say that to me.

It’s only when you get older do you realize what that means.
I wished, I got, and fuck me running.


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196,073 I used too drink too much and sleep around.  I’m so glad I quit both.  If only I could have found my self respect sooner.


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196,072 guys get bored so easy


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196,071 I’m sitting here high as hell and a voice came to me saying “you can do anything”. And I felt this wave of knowing and power rush over me. Then another voice said “do a backflip” and I was like... nah I guess I can’t do anything


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196,070 I’m high right now and thinking about how earlier today I took a two-hour nap and had sleep paralysis or a lucid dream, and I woke up masturbating. It was really pleasant


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196,069 I have determined that all health problems, whether physical, mental or emotional, can be traced back to one cause: not enough masturbation. Every human being should take any and every opportunity to masturbate, whenever physically possible!


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196,068 I could not be a teacher. I eat a lot of spicy food and hot stuff, and spend lots of time in the bathroom because of it LOL


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196,067 I cringe when someone tells me they voted for Trump. So many people are in denial, and too ashamed to admit they made the wrong decision.


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196,066 I’m going to try to have sex with my husband tonight. He will probably turn me down, but I’m going to try. Wish me luck!


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196,065 Here's the Litmus test:  In the same situation, had it been Michelle O. wearing that coat, would you feel the same way?


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196,064 I was at a strip club on a business trip recently. One of the dancers seemed really familiar. It was a friend of my daughter's! She offered me a lap dance and I accepted. She proceeded to suck me off then put on a condom and fucked me 'til I came. As we were tidying up I told her I'd let my daughter know that I'd seen her. That's when she realized who I was. She left and didn't come back.


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196,062 We’re done having kids. Should I volunteer to get my tubes tied, or should I ask him to get a vasectomy? Which is easier to tolerate and which has fewer long term side effects?


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196,061 I just need a hug. And some dick.


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196,060 He just wants to have sex. No problem. Sounds fun.

It's been a long time since I've been with anybody. Like 3 years or something. I'm having a hard time not getting attached because it's been nice not being alone all the time.

This is going to hurt way worse than it should when he ends things.


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196,059 I wish I was pretty. I'm not. It's ok. I probably could be if I lost 100 pounds. Or even 130. I used to be cute, but never pretty.


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196,058 I'm confused about Melania's jacket. It said "I really don't care. Do u?"

She wore it when making a visit to the immigrant children separated from their parents.

Say what?

Some republicans say the jacket was a snipe at the media in general. That would be fine in my view.

But why wear the jacket when visiting these poor children. The world could interpret this as her not really caring about the children.

Really bad judgment to wear the jacket at that particular moment. She could have worn it next week where it wouldn't be associated with these suffering kids.

Bad move on Melania's part.




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196,057 I took a terrible gamble and tried a new Morning Star product. Normally, all their products except for two give me terrible gas. I had one chickpea patty for lunch and got lazy and had another for dinner. I am laying here in agony with painful, vile gas. Gas that sickens even the passer. My dog was like wtf and moved away from me when he’s usually curled up right by me. My sister’s wedding is tomorrow and I am praying this awful gas will let up. I’m too embarrassed to go to the store and buy something for it, but I might have to. Chickpea burgers were tasty but not worth it. I am a fool.


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196,056 My husband says, “I don’t agree with you on everything .” Understatement of the year right there. We don’t agree on anything.


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196,055 I had dinner with my aunt (she practically raised me) for the first time in SIX years tonight, and I feel like a gigantic boulder has been lifted from me. This whole side of the family I thought hated me has been missing me as much as I’ve missed them.
If you have relatives you have issues with, or haven’t contacted - do so. Time is limited, and you or they could die any second of the day. Life is so short, and so precious. No reason is great enough to stay angry, regretful, or hateful forever. Get over it, and find common ground again. Better safe than sorry.


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196,054 While on vacation, I met this man a few months ago at a get together, and I remember was laughing a lot in his presence. I recall talking about what he was working on and some fascinating topics. We connected on a social network and exchanged some pleasantries, him asking me when I'm going back home. Didn't think anything of it because he lives across the country.

Months later, he messages me, and we say pleasantries again, referencing something that we talked about in our conversation months prior, when we met. We exchanged usernames on a texting app, and he's been saying sweet things ("You're so adorable") that make me think that he "kinda likes me".

Now I'm conflicted because while I do think he was hilarious and we had chemistry, he still lives across the country. I definitely want a committed relationship, so I'm wondering if it's even worth it to keep on talking to this guy, even though I haven't felt this way about someone in a while.

Or, it could all be a fluke and he's just flirting for the sake of it.


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196,053 My strongest orgasms are when I think of how my lover is married.


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196,052 I'm sick of people focusing energy on calling each other out instead of loving. End of story.


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196,051 I miss Craigslist personals. I never exploited an underage human trafficking victim, but boy did I suck a lot of dick.


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196,050 There used to be--maybe there still is--a laddie mag called Oui. When I was a kid, before I learned how to pronounce French, I thought it was called Oy. You know, because you'd open it up, see the nudie cuties, and go "Oy."

I was actually in my teens before I realized how wrong I'd been. :D


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196,049 Please don't ruin this good thing with your insecurities.


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196,048 I’m really angry


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196,047 I went to a woman's Facebook page for the first time in months to see if she had any pics worth jerking off to.

Turns out she died last month.

Now I feel a little weird.


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196,046 I commute an hour each way for work. I looked up how to yodel on YouTube. Sometimes I would practice during my commute. Now I can yodel.
-F/39


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196,045 I find many men have watery semen. It's not thick white gobs. It's more like cloudy water. I think it looks exactly like this new fad in stores - coconut water - which is why I never drink coconut water.




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196,044 Related to the beach post below, it's interesting about getting a free peek at nipples. Used to be that women would wear bras which cupped the boobs. That was the entire point right? But I've noticed in the last few years there's been some evolution. Women wear this new type of bra that has a built in foam form. The cups extend outwards even though the woman doesn't have the boobs to fill them. This is a perfect combination. The bra is poking out. The boobs are not protruding that far. There is a gap. I now see many more nipple peaks down a blouse than I did 10 years ago.


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196,043 I wonder what they think when they see us together. Probably that you could do better.

You're tall, fit, dark skinned, with a great smile and a personality to match.

I'm short, round, pale, and quiet/shy.

I wish I knew why you stick around (besides the sex). We don't match.


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196,042 You are annoying when you drink. I can always tell when you were drunk because you get very argumentative and you can’t think straight and you come off it’s completely stupid. I’m done with you


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196,041 Life is so short. People dying every day. I wish we could move forward and get back together.
Before one day, when it's too late.


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196,040 Have you hit bottom yet? Completed your personal spiral of destruction?

It was a sad thing to watch you destroy your family and life so quickly, you must have been so very unhappy, more than you let on.




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196,039 I've been avoiding you for months. It's not that I don't want to see you or talk to you, I do. The truth is I would love to be your friend again. I just don't want you to see me the way I am now. I can put up a front with everyone else but I'm afraid you'll see through me to how miserable I really am.


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196,038 I am seriously going to injure a man one day. Someone’s going to pick the wrong day to catcall me, and I’m just going to go crazy on their stupid face. I already humiliated a guy in a shopping mall for saying “hey sexy baby” to me this morning. Told him to “fuck off, you fucking pedophile”
I’m 24, but it sure got people’s attention! So tired of it.


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196,037 47 yr old Married Woman following up on my insatiable urge to fuck my neighbor's 19 yr old boy.
I tested the waters on my husband by mentioning that our neighbor "looks healthy".  He seemed jealous, and a bit hurt, but I still think he'd be turned on to see me fuck him.

Or maybe that's just me, because I've been so wet for this kid that I'm going crazy!


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196,036 I gotta get this off my chest, but I don’t want to bring this negativity into the lives of the people I know.

I’m just an average, middle age, career woman, with a nice circle of friends who doesn’t have any health issues or big problems.  Like most people, I would love to have a significant relationship with a nice healthy, kind man. So I signed up on a dating sight and went on three dates.

Date Number One: He kindly met me at a very nice restaurant for lunch. So far so good… But he asked me to marry him four times during the lunch and kept staring at me; to spite me letting him know it was making me uncomfortable. After the date, he texted me seven pictures of his children.

Date Number Two: We met for coffee, and I got there early and bought my own drink. He brought his dog. He spent the whole time cuddling and talking to his dog.

Date Number Three: We met for a drink. I paid for my own drink. He let me know he believes Hillary Clinton is a pedophile. A few days later, he texted me and told me I should come over to his house so he can put his “cock in my mouth”.

Are there any men out there who are not mentally ill or misogynistic? I guess it’s time for me to just get a cat.



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196,035 In college I had a summer job as a parking lot attendant at the beach. Drivers would pull up, I'd collect $4 and tell them which section to park in. There's a trick I learned. If it was a pretty female driver wearing a bikini top, I'd stand outside her car window, but slightly towards the back of her car. It meant she had to lean forward a little and rotate all the way around in order to talk to me. As a result, her bikini top would pull away from body and inch or so and I could see her nipples. Not always, but often. I must have seen 100s of nipples over the summer. I miss that job.


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196,034 I have a little second night/weekend job.  I hate it.  I do not really need it, but it pays $700 a month, which helps with mad money.  I want to quit, but I just cannot seem to get myself to do it.  I feel like I will be letting them down if I quit, since no one else wants to work that shift.  However, they do me no special favors.  I'm also a little afraid that if I quit, I might find myself needing that money.  I just do not want to spend my weekends up all night and sleeping sporadically through the days.  I think it ruins my whole week.  And, aside from that, we have new management there and he is making everything unnecessarily difficult for everyone.  My supervisor asked me if I was coming in this weekend, because he knows how I feel.  I said I would be in, and I will, but this might be my last weekend there.  I hate it there.  If they showed just a little bit of gratitude ...

Anyway, writing this helps.


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196,033 typical interaction with my wife...
We have a drycleaning service that picks up at our house, just put the bag out and call.  Monday morning my wife asks me if I can call and arrange a pickup, I'm literally walking out the door to the airport so I say sure, I will call you just need to put the bag out.
I walk in this afternoon and the bag is inside by the front door, my wife jumps down my throat that the drycleaners never came.  So I immediately call to ask why, they transfer my call to the driver and he says "I did come by on Monday afternoon but there wasn't a bag out, I also swung by on Tuesday to double check"  My wife looks at me and tells me its my fault that the bag wasn't outside....I point out that I left for the airport before she had it ready and she replied that I should have come back to put it out or called her to remind her to do it....um the bag sitting by the door wasn't a hint?  You can't open the door?  You can't call them?  Yup its my fault as always, its amazing that everything is always my fault/mistake.....
one more year til my son graduates HS, one more year......


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196,032 I can tell when a date tries to avoid getting my semen in her mouth. I understand but it's still a bit of a let down.


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196,031 Married
40s
Talks to women on Kik.

Soooooo horny.


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196,030 I'm big on voices.

When I see somebody I know or know of in person or in a picture, I automatically hear their voice in my mind. Not any particular words, just a rumble of their pitch and timbre in the background of my thoughts. Does everybody have this? Is this normal?

I am also more attracted to men for their voices over their appearance.

You know when  you speak with somebody on the phone that you have never met, you tend to develop an image of what you think they look like? I have a job where I speak to a lot of people on the phone. When I meet them in person, most of the time, my mental image is very close to their actual appearance.


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196,029 Every time I notice a car following me or a creep , while walking my dog . I make sure I take a picture of their license plate , I refused to become a victim. Creepers out there beware , just because my nature you are stronger doesn't mean women like myself won't fight back .


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196,024 I’m sorry, but anal sex? Am I the only one who thinks it makes a guy seem into other guys?
I have a perfectly good vagina. Don’t wanna use it? Use your hand.


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196,023 I had high hopes for my mother.  She wanted to kill herself today because I didn't want to eat her stake dinner. Apparently because I am cold and rude to her because of how manipulative and controlling I am.
Her antics are boring and IDGAF anymore. I seriously think if she DID off herself everyone would be better off. I might just put a drop of antifreeze in her coffee in the morning.


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196,022 Right now I have the world's worst hangover compounded by perimenopausal hot flashes -- I've got the A/C cranked way up and I'm still flushed and sweating. AND, my cystic acne is acting up again. 50 years old and STILL getting zits is just not fair.

And the worst part is this damn family reunion going on Friday. My father is weapons grade evil and some of the aunts, uncles, and cousins are nosy Bible-bangers.

Yeah, yeah, when are we going to have kids.  (They always forget how old I really am.)  Why aren't you and your dad talking. While I mop my brow and wish I could just drink a lot of cold wine in peace and QUIET.

If that one nosy uncle starts in with the prying questions, I'm going to flat-out tell him to piss off.  I'm getting too old for this bullshit.


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196,020 I had such high hopes. She is beautiful, funny, smart, and ... well, there’s a lot going on for her. But she let a sliver of her true self come out. Her hopes and dreams. That killed it. Us.

I was kind of thinking she might an SJW, but I didn’t know for sure until the other night. Dammit, through and through. She hid it well. I can overlook her minor imperfections, but not that. Never. By the time she grows out of that silliness, it will be years too late, and I can’t be around her when she’s no longer hiding that part of her.


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196,019 I'm sorry if you hate your parents so much just moved , cut them off completely. Or are you the kind of entitle girl who is just waiting for the parents to die to collect an inheritance and keep the house? If so I hope you get caught and spend the rest of your life in prison. When there's a lot of money involved including insurance paid out , they investigate everything and the first people they go after are the beneficiaries and close family members.  Just moved, make your own life I'm sure they are kids out there who go to bed on a empty stomach or have it way worse than you (like being sexually abused) but you are whining and planning to kill your mom just because she threw your Victoria's Secret underwear.


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196,016 My office has a locking break room called a ‘meditation room’ and is frequently used by breastfeeding moms. Cool. Good stuff. People also nap during lunch. Cool.
Today was very slow. Lots of people were out, and it was eerily quiet. Just before lunch, I walked by just as one of the new secretaries came out. Her chest and neck were flushed red, and she was cleaning her hands with paper towels. She gasped to see me, her face turning bright red as she hurried to the bathroom.
It took me a second, but when I realized what I’d just caught, it was hard to not laugh. We saw each other a few times and she got all embarrassed again.
Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Well, not out loud, and never in the office. I have to say she looked less stressed than she did first thing this morning!


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196,015 Outwardly, I'm smiling while inwardly, I'm screaming.  I'm so filled with frustration, rage, and pain.  It's so much bigger than I am. When I'm alone it spills out of my mouth, and eyes.  It seems so huge, as big as this planet.  To big for me to contain.  No one knows or even cares.  At what point do I implode?


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196,014 I leased an apartment to a man across the country. Our phone conversations make me wonder if he could be the one. I meet him tomorrow


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196,013 How come I can comment on some posts, but not others? I get an error message every time.


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196,012 This is kind of gross.

I have a very small cyst or something on my shoulder area. It has been there for years. It’s not really noticeable to look at. But I can feel that it’s like a hard ball under my skin about the size of a pea. If I squeeze it, pus comes out like a zit. I asked the doctor about it and she says it’s nothing to worry about.

I have tried to squeeze it completely but it doesn’t work. I kind of want to take a needle and pierce it and squeeze the crap out of it to see if it will go away. But that seems like a bad idea. I’m kind of scared to do that.


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196,011 My wife called me at work:

"Hi, it's me. I'm calling to see if it's raining where you are."

"Nope."

"It's not raining?"

"Nope."

"Because the weather report said it would be raining. But nothing?"

"Nope."

"No rain at all?"

"Nope."

"Does it look like it's going to rain?"

"Nope."

"Do you see any rain clouds?"

"Nope."

"So no rain?"

"Nope."

"That's so weird. They said it would be raining by now."

"Nope."

"Nothing at all?"

"Nope."

"The ground isn't wet?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I'll check in with you later to see if it's raining yet. Bye."



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196,010 I have a broken tooth. I can't afford to spend over $1,000 to get it repaired and a cap put on. I'm going to try to yank the tooth out with pliers. It's towards the back so no one will see. Wish me luck.


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196,009 I laugh at people who cannot stand Trump use his words. Like fake news. But yet then they will talk bad about him and how worthless he is. If they don’t like him, then why are they using his words?


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196,008 Today ABC news aired the headline:

"Manafort pleads guilty to 5 charges of manslaughter.”

This is entirely false.

This has to stop.

There needs to be consequences for fake news.




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196,007 I'm not a nagging wife. I just get sick of having to ask you to do the same thing 50 fucking times and then having to hulk out into a psycho for it to finally happen. You're a grown man in your mid-30's. For fuck's sake, dude.


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196,006 My wife is impossible. She buys herself things. She gets her hair done. She constantly eats out. Me and the kids haven't eaten out in a year. She eats out many times a week.

I plead with her. I tell her we have no money. None. We are broke. I lost my job. I can't find a new one. I'm too old. She doesn't have a job. She refused to even look for one. Our credit cards are overdrawn and will soon be cancelled. And then what? AND THEN WHAT?

So what does my wife do today? She tells me she's going out to get her hair done and then meeting a friend for lunch.  I tell her she can't. She can't. She can't. I'm not rude about it. But I explain the financial facts for the umpteenth time.

She tells me I'm a loser and should get a job. Then she goes out.

I feel like curling into a ball on the floor and dying.


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196,005 I wonder if there are subliminal messages hidden in video games or websites. High tech and psychology coming together. A message could appear on the screen for a 60th of a second so you wouldn't consciously see it. Or it could be disguised so it's not obvious. Yet part of your brain would see it. Why hasn't this been invented? Or maybe it has...

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196,004 There's a young, very pretty woman who works in my office.  She's about 23 years old and very, very quiet.  She rarely talks to anyone.  This makes her seem a little strange to me, like she's a "little off" mentally.  But I do know she lives in the apartment complex next to our office building because I've seen her walking out of it many times while I pull my car into the parking lot.  Sometimes I see her sneaking out of the office early mid-afternoon, around 2:30 to 3 p.m., with all of her stuff, and she doesn't come back to the office.  I like to imagine that she's leading a double life, like she's a part-time call girl who's going back to her place to fuck a client.


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196,002 12.8% of films and TV had LGBTQ characters in them.  When they are only AT MOST 6%, more likely 3-4, that is pretty good.  But no.  GLADD is up in arms.  Fuck.  Stop trying to indoctrinate us!


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196,001 My ex has a 10 inch dick and he's thick. I'm so ready to fuck him again. With a lot of practice I could almost deep throat all of him.

I cant wait to feel him get balls deep in me.


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196,000 A few nights ago, my husband woke me up to have sex. So he was on top of me and we were going at it and it was good. Then all of a sudden, he rolled off of me and said “I think I’m good now.” I asked if he wanted me to be on top and he said no. So I started stroking him (he was still totally hard) and he got annoyed and said “I’m good!” Then a few minutes later he was asleep. I wasn’t sure if he was mad or if something had happened. So after he fell asleep I finished myself off because there was no way I would be able to sleep if I didn’t. But then later in the night, I woke up to him putting his arm around me and hugging me, so I guess he wasn’t mad. I asked him the next day what happened and he said “I was done having sex.” And I asked him why and he said because he had to get up early the next morning. I told him that’s fine, but it was really weird.

If this was an isolated incident, it would be no big deal, but he has been really weird about sex lately. And... he must have had a wicked case of blue balls.


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