I am watching two family members fight for their lives and they are calm, courageous and positive.  

Then I hear people complain in the coffee shop line about everything.  They are tapping their feet if it takes 10 extra seconds, leaning over your shoulder to get their coffee order before you even step away from the register, whining about nothingness...impatience all around.

Sometimes it takes tough situations to put life into perspective.

People stop whining about nothing, start listening and stop talking so much, look around you instead of rushing through things.  Also, let people know how you feel about them...say what you need to say.  

Life is so much more enjoyable this way.

When an Amish kid turns 18, they're told to go out into the world and decide whether they want to keep living the Amish life or join regular society.  90% of them go back to live with the Amish.  Get that?  Given the choice between a simple life and a life with computers and TV and microwave dinners and iPhones and all this fantastic shit most of us spend our lives accumulating and closely guarding, they'd rather go back to farming, putting up barns and selling pies on the side of the road.  It's kind of amazing when you think about it, but the scary thing is, if you think about it enough, it makes perfect sense.  Compared to eight hours at the office and one or two hours in traffic every day, a big house filled with stuff you never really wanted and an endless parade of worries and regrets and all the tiny insults one must endure every day simply to maintain one's socioeconomic status, an honest day's work with a group of your social peers and a little peace and quiet at the end of the day sounds amazing.  The Amish are fair enough to give their kids a choice...if only the rest of us were so lucky.

I worry every day about what is going to happen tomorrow.  Will you love me again? Will you look at me the way you used to and push me up against the wall just to kiss me goodbye?

I hope so because honestly, I don't think we're through yet.

I've dreamed about you three nights in a row and I'm always trying to hide. Strange.

go fuck yourself, "tomodachi". you never cared and never let me explain. you'll never forget who i am and what i could have been to you. you can't make me hide in shame because i am innocent. and don't blame me for being impossible to find. you know where to find me though.

I still want to marry you, and I hope you come to your senses and realize what a good thing I can be for you. please do this by the end of the year. I don't mind being away from you for a couple of years, but we are meant to be together!!

you are not meant to be with her. she doesn't and can't love you like I do. I am the one with magnitude, not her.

i wish i could scream and throw chairs and wreck everything. i'm so angry at everything and everybody. i can't go on living this way. every night the hopelessness starts to kick in and i feel like disappearing or just ending it.

You know what?  I'm not going to tell you what I did...

i've gone from loving you so much that i couldn't breathe. to the point of feeling suicidal when i realized we weren't going to work out. to hating you so much that i couldn't bear to say your name outloud. to now thinking that you're fucking disgusting and gross. i'm looking forward to indifference. that's the one that's going to make all this shit worthwhile.

I wonder if you feel it too.

Upon my arrival, you will fully realize that you have no idea who I am or who I was. I'll give you a hint...karma isn't the only bitch.

My God people have boring blogs. I'm embarrassed for them.

For almost three years, I've been starving and throwing up. I've lost a lot of weight.

My husband has never mentioned it.

What does this say about our marriage?

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I get so excited when I log onto Facebook and see that there's a message in my inbox. For some reason, my heart beats a little faster and I always have this wild hope that it could be you writing to me. It never is. Instead it's a bunch of lame asses that I talk to a million times a day already. They just can't get enough of me. (I wish you couldn't get enough of me...) They blow up my inbox with the most random, meaningless tripe. It's always somebody moaning about this or asking for advice about that. My first thought, upon realizing that it isn't you, is always, "Dammit! Why won't these people just leave me alone?! Argh!" But on the rare occasion that it is you, I'm always, always ecstatic to hear from you. Even if it's about absolutely nothing because I'd rather get 2 words from you than 8 paragraphs of garbage from them. Bug me. Please.

I cant do this anymore. I hate being here. I dont want to die. I want to move and start over. I want a REFRESH button on my life. I hate my house,my job & everything around me. I hate acting like everything is ok. Im dying inside.

I know anywhere I go wont be different if I dont change my attitude. But I really think a change of scenary will help me out. My love life is NON EXSISTANT!! I hate being 2nd best or NO best at all.

We all make our life how it is,but I feel I try and try and get no where. Im just tired & annoyed with the same BS day after day.

So...its coming one day. I will take that leap and GO!!  I will miss family & friends, but I truly think this is what I need. Not a pill. A new start. A FRESH start.

a rat has ruined our life

Hes been with you for a week. hes already gone where it took me four months. you about to let him do some shit youd never even dream of letting me do. you and boner with him, thats fucked. i hope you know waht your getting youself into because i tried to help you and save you from this but you simply blocked me out and now you need to deal with that. i never want to hear from you again you dumb bitch. you dragged me in and wasted one of the best years of my life leading me on the entire time. you knew you were leaving me. and then you stab me in the back like this. all i know is what goes around comes around and not that i wish any harm on you.... but i cant fucking wait for this to come around. for both of you. hes at more fault than you.

I only pretend to like my friend Boogie because she gives me free avon samples.  Shes such an oreo.  I.  Hate. Her

I wish I was skinny. I think about it all the time. I think sometimes its the reason why I can't get pregnant. My boyfirend talks about girls and looks at other girls about how there body is beautiful. Im not huuge but im a little bit on the chunky size. I just wish he would love me for me  and not worry about the wieght. Btw he's built muscular and has a wonderful body. I think he's dating the wrong girl...

If this new marketing strategy does not work at my job i will be unemployed for the first time in 14 years the only difference then is that i didnt have kids bills and a mortgage .I have to get my shit together i see the sky faliing soon.

I only want him to call.

You have two jobs and still collect welfare.  I hope someone sets all your shit on fire.

I hate people.

your silence is golden.  Let's continue this trend.  Why?  First you say that you have my back no matter what happens and then you say you should remain anonymous and not talk about it.  Thanks friend.  That is just what I needed.  Stay fucking anonymous....for good.

i really do hate my life right now and nothing will change back to the way it was before, i hate myself

I've never felt so lost, alone, and afraid in my entire life.

10 years ago you falsely accused me of leaving you high & dry in Laguna. You cursed me out & severed our friendship via email. You said I was insincere and demanded your gifts & borrowed items back. I laminated my kissoff letter to you so you couldn't rip it up without reading it. I taped it to the box of your stuff I left on your doorstep. Then I mourned a perfectly good friendship that you abandoned. Sometimes I still think about you and hope you did well for yourself. Maybe your dreams of costume design worked out for you. But I still think you're a pseudointellectual bitch who hid her psycho rages with delusions of grandeur. If I see you on the street, don't you dare approach me - I may punch you. I'm not as sweet as I used to be, and I'm nowhere NEAR as forgiving. And I STILL think your hubris will bite you in the ass, if it hasn't already. Thanks for the needless cruelty. And have a nice life.

Intelligence is so much sexier than superficial looks.

I've always felt like I had to take on the dominant role in my relationships. Just once, it'd feel nice not to have to.

I secretly think Kirk Cameron has lost his shit. His religious fanatical ramblings (always posted in video for all the world to see) are becoming worse than any Scientology recruitment video. At least Scientologists target the rich. Kirk Cameron targets and feeds on the poor and those desperate to believe in anything that will make their lives better. He makes me sick.

Sometimes I want to tell my friend to quit bitching about her weight. It doesn't seem like she really wants to do anything about it except feel sorry for herself and complain to others. It's basic math. If you eat one meal that equals about 1700 calories and you've already eaten a day's allowance of 2000 calories, then that means that you've consumed almost 2 days worth of calories in just one day! Of course you're just going to keep blowing up. Durh. If eating habits don't change then the mindset had very well better. You can be sexy even with a little chubbage, but a lousy attitude won't get you laid.

I hope my father dies long before my mother. She deserves to live her last years in peace.

I give my poops names.

I just want to tackle his ass and have my way with him. Is that so wrong?

I am in love with SI, and plan on marrying him
but also have a place in my heart for JH
I am dating RH
I am also dating CT
crushing on MM
and still have feelings for BM and TK
I talk to all these people on a daily basis, some even know each other.. just not my affiliations with them
I still flirt and find places in my heart for other people... but know without a doubt i am going to be with one person
i look down upon cheaters and people in affairs.... but i am one of those people. I am a hypocrite, one of my biggest pet peeves

I've always hated my best friend because she was always extremely fat - but I never told her because I knew it was terrible.

We just had a huge fight and now that I don't consider her my "best friend", I've been calling her an obese cow and insulting how fat she really is.

I've never felt better about saying horrible things about someone. Especially about my ex-best friend. It feels great.

Look you little witch,
Him and I have been BFF since 4th grade..just because your dating him now isnt going to stop us from hanging out

I dont care if he talks about me all the time...we've been friends for 18 years!!..of course he's got lots of stories to tell...but your too jealous too see that all the stories include him!!..he's trying to tell you about his childhood and all you hear is my name..get a fuckin life!

I want to be your friend, and I tried but you just look your nose down at me because ur the one in college and Im just the sad little girl who works 2 jobs

Guess what honey..you moved away for school and I moved away for work...Guess who he's coming to visit next month?

A local company approached me recently to use me in their ad. It is running this week in the regional papers and magazines.

The funny thing is that I haven't told anyone. I was afraid I would sound like I was bragging, but I think my friends might think it is strange that I didn't tell them when they see it.

Every time I listen to Paolo Nutini's song 'Last Request', I think of you.

I have a habit of attaching songs to people in my life.

I have listened to it so many times, my cd skips.

I read on the internet how women like to be treated a little rough sometimes during sex, a throw back to the caveman days. So the other night I was laying with my wife in bed when I reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair, tugging it firmly while saying "Fuck me!"

She immediately slapped me in the face, hopped from the bed and stormed out of the room.  

Gee thanks internet.

My son's birthday is coming up. He will be 6. The suggestion was made to get him a basketball hoop.  I thought it was a good idea and did a little research.  Sports Authority sells a youth-sized post and hoop for $200.  Sounded good to me.

My wife however went ballistic with rage.  She demanded I buy the $3,000 model.  It is made with a reinforced steel frame for super slam dunks. At first I didn't understand why she screamed so much as to why we needed this ultra expensive model, but then the truth came out.  

It turns out her friend's husband bought this high end model for himself.  He played basketball all through High School and College.  He bought one, so now we have to buy one so my wife can show her friend that we can afford it.  

See how that works?  My son's birthday present has nothing to do with my son.  The $3,000 setup has a hoop 10 feet in the air.  Did I mention he will be 6 years old?  He can barely throw a ball one foot in the air.

But this is how it goes with my wife. Life is all about her. She'll insist we give our son a useless present, while screaming at me in the process, all so she has a chance to show off.  Sickening.

I had a hysterectomy about 10 years ago. But sometimes I have dreams that I somehow am still getting my period. Those are the only dreams that actually wake me up in a cold sweat!

I'm beginning to think there is no hope for curvy girls to find good guys.


18/ f size 8

I am disappointed in people in general. I got a puppy three months ago unbeknownst to my landlord. My boyfriend and I already had his dog and only one dog can be in the rental agreement (the puppy's mother rejected her). So the only people who knew about this were our neighbors. Well, one day our puppy pooped on their side of the property and they mentioned that we should be more careful and please make sure the dog poops on the other side. Then their three small dogs were without their batteries for the electric fence and kept coming over to our apartment and getting in. Very fucking annoying! So very diplomatically I mention to the neighbor (the wife) that "did she get the batteries yet"?? She said "No".
Then I get a call from the landlord asking me if I had another dog in the apartment because the neighbor told him I did and complained about her. So the landlord told us to get rid of the dog in THREE DAYS.
My boyfriend and I are so heartbroken. We had to find a home for her immediately. Thank god we did. Our other dog is confused without her there anymore.
I hate my neighbors now and we only live 10 feet from them.
And they haven't had the balls to come to us face to face.
I truly will not trust people whatsoever anymore!

I think i'll go for a walk today. I enjoy spending time alone with God and nature.

GOOD GOD, I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT!!!!

I'm not going to lie. Being pregnant sucks.

I feel so out of control about everything that's going on, and I'm overwhelmed, and I honestly don't think I can handle it.

Ugh....only like 12 weeks to go.

I got my rag today and I feel like shit.

I don't know if I want to have another baby. When I'm pregnant I really hate my husband.

I plan to outsource my homework to India.  I do not feel bad about this.  In fact, I think it's teaching more about the real world than doing the homework would.

You can eat shit and die, bitch.  You think you're fucking special?  Well guess what?  One damn day, despite your fucking convictions, you're just going to shrivel up and die like every other miserable pile of shit on this planet.  You think your special, and thats fine, because thats your crutch.  Go take your pious holier-than-thou attitude and go flake-out elsewhere.

My secret:  I'd fuck your asshole if you let me.

i and my husbund now is getting ok......but I dont felt anymore the trust i gave to him before nor the  love too..becuase of thst instance that i knew he had third party...hes having another woman...despite of this crisis were facing now.............he cheated me once but seems to millions times........it just like stubbing my heart like a brutal killer which very much hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im felt hating him..............but a small part of my heart still want to forgive him and give him a second chance...........how will i forgot all this bulshit!!!!!!!!!!! cheated actions???????????????GGGGGGGGGgggggrggrgrgrgrgrggrgrg.................

I don't understand some people who say they are religious, yet they can be the most judgmental, mean-spirited and unloving people that I know. They also feel that if they go to church every week then they are better than those who may not attend weekly services.  Don't they see the contradiction?  I do.  I say, practice what you preach.

I think it is more about how you practice the spiritual principles in your life of being loving, caring, giving back to the community, being a role model to your children, volunteering time, etc.  

I am Catholic but I don't go to church every week. In fact, I feel a closer connection to God when I am out taking a walk, visiting an empty church when no one is there, watching nature in its beauty and fury.  I also feel the biggest spiritual rewards when I volunteer or do something for someone less fortunate.  To me, those are the lessons I want to teach my children.

So when my mother-in-law starts secretly quizzing my young children as to how often mommy and daddy take them to church, I want to tell her to stop. It is not right and it is not a healthy approach. And then, the "religion lecture" follows that. When she does this, it makes me more turned off by the role of religion in her life.  She uses it as a manipulative tool to judge others.

People can sit in church every week but it is all about what they do when they walk out of the church and how they interact with their family and friends.  

I think some people go to church to make up for all of their bad behavior during the week.  Then they can say, "See I am a good person, I go to church every week."  

I am sick to death of my shitty circadian schedule. I regularly oversleep by an hour every day no matter what I do. Even when I wake up well-rested, I still can't get by without coffee. Ugh. I wish I knew what was wrong.

Hey dad, what do you think about your son now?

Being totally bare down there makes it incredibly soft. I always imagine that it's your finger instead of mine. I can only make one fit and I know your hands are bigger.

I'd love to let you taste me too...

I feel like no one takes me seriously. Even the girl I like, I don't think she likes me for me.

I'm addicted to painkillers. I have cleaned myself out of all the cash I have to get the latest batch of the strongest painkiller available.

Previously, I've been taking weaker stuff.

I'm constipated, high, sleepy, dehydrated, and disappointed with myself.

When I wake up tomorrow, I will have the desire to take the pills, even though I don't right now. They will be stronger opiates and will cause my addiction to get even worse. I will take them for the next three-four days and not think about the time I run out.

Then I will be unprepared for the withdrawal. The withdrawal will be psychologically unpleasant. I will lose my motivation to do anything productive. I'll want to sleep and alienate myself from everyone.

What the fuck have I become? I truly tested my character this year in figuring out on how to acquire money in order to supply the pills to myself. I lied so much, borrowed so much, even considered going to pawn shop to pawn my earrings.

I can't tell my best friend, mom and dad, and boyfriend, or therapist. They will either be overtly concerned, or freak out, or report me or treat me like the foul shit that I am.

It's not worth it. And even though I know that soon my meager paycheck will arrive, I will dream about spending it on pills. They're the only things that are able to keep me in the "limbo" where all my ambitions are realized in fantasy but never materialized. I will miss the buzz of the high until I get money. I will be easily irritable and unable to get out of bed as easily because there will be no pill waiting for me once I wake up.

This is how fucked up I am. My whole existence, thoughts, and actions somehow revolve around the painkillers. I'm pathetic, useless. My friends and family don't realize it yet but they will.

I'm killing myself in a sense and I want to stop. I want to be a good person who is worth something to herself. I'm becoming something I can't recognize. I NEVER would've guess myself to turn into one of "those" druggies. But I'm becoming one.

I need to stop. Once upon a time, I liked me. Once upon a time I was worthy of others' love. They still think so. But I'm not. I lie to get money for pills. I lie just so I can feel good and damage my liver.

I will try to save myself. Maybe if I space out the pill intake, I can abate side-effects?

I know I'm doing the right thing and I have no other choice, but why do I feel like such a monster? :(

I think I just lost my best friend.  Ouch.

I lost my job, but my wife and kids don't know this yet.  So have most of my co-workers.  I wonder how long it will take them to tell their families.

I leave here every day the just the same.  Only now I stop and sit at the deli by my old work browsing the local paper for work.  I hope God intervenes soon because I just got a notice our electricity will be shut off in a few days.

I just want to be friends, friends.  Not boyfriend.  Friends.  Why is it so hard?

I heard the funnyest bullshit ever today.

I was talking to my man, and a female freind. She went to get a drink, while she was gone, I casualy mentioned to him that I am going to be on the rag starting the 26th and to watch out. I figured, I am a woman, hes a man, I crave things, and have labor strength cramps, He needs to know.

It turns out she heard me, and felt the need to say how Disgusting it was that I shared such personal knowedge with him. I laughed it off saying well he is a man, and I know I will not be myself.

She said no man should ever know when his woman is on the rag and that they should just know.

What the Fuck? If you don't tell them, they are not going to know you idiot! What is he supposed to do? Look at how many tampons are in your stash? That way he will "know"?

I know that I get angery easyer, and are more irrational on my period. I love my man. I want him to be aware that he will not be able to sex me up one week a month, and that I won't be able to go on any dates. I think I am doing both of us a favor! She was so grossed out. Its not a bad thing its a natural thing! What the hell? After hearing this I am so glad I warn him, and realize What happens once a month.

You make me feel dirty. In a good way and unfortunately also beyond.

Our relationship is sick. I'm addicted to you, and you to me. We are not good for each other. But I think we're stuck.

I had such a beautiful dream about you this morning.
I felt so real... so right.
it was everything that it should have been.
Even feeling the rush of begin caught in the chorus room.
You're 5 hours away... Damn.
I've been thinking about you all day.
I hope this dream comes back tonight.

I had the best sex this weekend than I've ever had in my life.

I really love him and I wish he knew just how much I cared, but words will never explain.

It's pointless to try and explain why I'm leaving you because you never bother to listen. So, just for my sanity, here are my reasons(not that you'll ever actually read this).

1) You tell the same 8 stories in constant rotation (trust me, I've counted), most of which consist of high school stories and you graduated over a decade ago. I swear we have the same conversations every single day and it doesn't seem to phase you. I try to tactfully change the topic and draw it into the here and now and you just go right back to yakking about some tiff you had with a friend 18 years ago. You're like the world's most obnoxious broken record. Grow up and get the fuck over it!

2) You get psychotically enraged over the most ridiculous bullshit I've ever heard. I've seen you blow up and go apeshit and tear up the house just because somebody wrote something on their Facebook page that pissed you off. And it wasn't even about you, it was something generic and stupid like, "I love Nirvana". Well, holy fucking shit! Let's go bomb their house! Heaven help the person who has any opinions or tastes that differ from yours. Too bad that includes just about everybody on the planet.

3) Discussing any relevant issue with you is pointless. We're married and yet I can't talk to you about religion or politics or anything that can be found in books or on the news, or just any topic that's relevant to the 21st century in general. Faith is a real sticking issue because you have no faith. That would be fine if you were respectful of mine. But as per usual, you have no respect for anything I say, do, think, or feel. It's all about you, Captain!

4) Either you're playing incompetent or you really can't do anything for yourself. I haven't figured out which. I'm glad the tub is broken indefinitely so I don't have to bathe your ass as though you were an infant anymore. If I truly loved you, I'd want to do nice things for you and I used to try, like sharing a romantic candlelit bath or cooking a special dinner for you, but instead you've turned the ways that I wanted to nurture as a wife into a chore. I resent doing the little things for you now because you don't appreciate them at all. You never do nice little things for me. I don't ask for much, a spontaneous act of kindness every now and then wouldn't kill you. And no, that doesn't mean groping my tits or spontaneously ramming your fingers down my pants.

5) You're refusing counseling because I'm the only crazy one, eh? Yeah, you're right. I'm crazy. It's crazy of me to want to have a spouse that I can share all of myself with and don't have to dumb down for. It's crazy of me to crave a little respect. It's crazy of me to expect you to not curse out my friends for no reason whatsoever or embarrass the hell out of me in front of my family by acting like an inbred jackass. I've had people apologize to me before and ask me how I put up with you. I've had people ask me if you were retarded and they weren't just being funny. They honestly thought you had a mental impairment. I didn't tell you because I knew it'd hurt your feelings. It's crazy of me to expect you to act like a grown man and not some pouty, tantrum throwing 2 year old. You're right, I'm crazy.

6) I feel like you're stunting my personal growth. Hell, being with you is like being in a constant state of regression. I'm not blaming you because my actions and choices are my own, but I was never the type to not go to church in a year. I've never been the type to neglect my family. I'm not a social phobic hermit like you are and I think you're starting to rub off on me a little. I find myself feeling suspicious and paranoid about things that never would have phased me in the past. Negativity is a disease and I think you're infecting me. I need detox from you. Your poisonous personality is not going to wreck my brain, my heart, my life, or my future anymore. So I guess you'll have to sit around and hate the world on your own.

I hate that it's come to this because I've tried. I've tried harder than anybody knows. I've tried to understand you, be there for you, listen to you and find validity in your lunatic, mindless, bullshit rantings. I've tried to find the root cause for your antipathy towards humanity and I can see no cause for it whatsoever except that you're a very selfish, immature human being and anybody else who gets in the way is just stealing your thunder. The other night proved it. You're my husband, but let's face it, you pretty much raped me. When your partner tells you no and that it hurts, maybe it's time to stop. I don't hate you. I hope you find happiness. I hope when the next woman comes along, you won't run her off. Remember: if the whole entire world around you is crazy, maybe it's just you.

I HATE YOU DAN.

you make me sick.

While being drunk this weekend I gave one of my close friends a nice blow job. He's bi and nothing is hotter to me than that :)

He has a girlfriend and after the whole thing he called it a mistake and told me not to tell anyone. Well I kind of told the truth sort of....

I know it was wrong but he had such a nice dick that I might just have to give it another try. Maybe he can fuck me some other time? DAMN Temptations!!!

24/m

The other night, I made my wife of 10 yrs squirt a little in my mouth.  Licking her pussy in just the right way, she came and there it was.  I was so turned on, I almost came right there.

Now I'm figuring out ways to make her REALLY squirt.

I had very little exposure to or experience with Jewish people until you....had an open mind without any strange notions or biases, but after dealing with you, I hear little tagged characteristics now of Jewish people generally being selfish, manipulative and beyond out for themselves and I can't help but think maybe it is really so....

I think maybe it wasn't quirks and faults with you, but likely due to your whole experience growing up being influenced and molded by just such personalities making you fit into that generic grouping in ways possibly without even realizing

I work with mostly men and sometimes I want to corner one or another of them in an office and give him the the best head he's ever had. Just because I'm good at it and I love to make people happy.

I want a best friend but I fear it is too late.  I'm in my late 20s.

I think my boyfriend is cheating....

He left to run an errand so I copied his hard drive to my overly priced flash drive.

I get home and can't find my flash drive anywhere.

I'm sure I left it connected to his computer. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.

I am such a dork.

I dont think i will ever be truly happy anymore...  The sad part is im good at pretending to be happy and no one will know.

I think Stephen Harper is sexy.

I have butted heads with my local school district. Although I'm stating it too nicely. The district has been downright ugly towards me.  Why?  Because I have been trying to encourage the schools to put a greater emphasis on learning. I never in a million years would think this could put me in the doghouse, but wow did it ever.  Our local schools are more into sports and socialization and making sure everyone has a good time.  I think they want the kids' lives to peak on Prom night.  Nothing else matters.

Jeez, they have been so nasty to me.  Some of their ranks have called me to do nothing more than berate me for my "ignorance".  They point out that they are the educators.  They know best.  And I should shut my mouth and stop with my "crazy ideas" on how to get kids excited about learning.

So I have given up.  They can do it their way.  I just don't care anymore.  I have decided to focus only on my own kids and let the district do what it will with all those other young lives.

The point of this rant?  I received a "secret" phone call from a school administrator this week. One of the only good people I have come across in the district.  He swore me to secrecy and then informed me that the standardized test results are in for the schools.  It turns out my kid got the highest score.

How about that?  Ignorant me who knows nothing about how to teach kids, nothing about how to get kids excited about learning, by some fluke, I just happen to have the kid who got the highest score.

Gee, what an odd coincidence.  

Still I feel badly for all those parents who go along with what school districts tell them.  People, you should grab hold of your own child's education before it is too late.

now we commence the passive-aggressive frienemy dance. you ignore my voice mail day of. you call me a week later after a spell of cold shoulder to punish me for being a flake.  you prattle on about yourself. i pretend to be interested, then talk shit about you to my other friends. my smart, low-drama friends. then i get sick of your arrogance & manipulative, selfish behavior and drop off the face of the earth again. you tell me off via text message or constant phone calls. i get pressure from our social circle to make amends when they take your side. i do it for them.  we make up, sort of. then i call sporadically, as an obligation. repeat ad nauseum.

I like to try to guess which women in my office are on their periods. I'm pretty good at it.

There was a woman in my college class who I thought was magnificent.  She was the prettiest, the kindest, the most intelligent person I met in my 4 years there.  I have to admit I silently pined away for her. I dated many others, but my true desire was always to be with "the one".  I never had the nerve to act on it though.  She was too magnificent for a mortal like me.  That's how I felt.

Years later I looked her up.  I follow her on twitter and facebook, only she doesn't know it is me, she thinks I'm some random stranger.  What's funny is I've come to realize from her posts that she views herself as ordinary, nothing special. How can this be?  She is the ultimate prize and she doesn't even know it. It makes me want to be with her so much more for her humbleness. Oh how I wish I could turn back time and do what I should have done long ago - ask her out. We would have been so perfect together.

I buy stuff on ebay and craigslist. I hate paying shipping charges so I usually make the drive and pick the item up if it's within 50 miles. But I'll tell you, recently there have been so many whacked stories of people you meet over the internet being drugged out murderers, that more and more I'm agreeing to pay the shipping charge just so I don't have to deal with the people. Buy stock in UPS.

i miss the times we had together. you were my best friend for so many years and sometimes i wish we could go back to that...but then i remember what a fucking bitch you were sometimes

Honey, you can't sing.

the irony is not lost on me. i think you know it's not lost on you either, even though you play dumb.

I think if people could see the view of their tush that the rest of us see, there would be a whole lot more dieting going on.

My wife looks sad. I wonder if it's because she feels remorseful about how she has treated me over the years. The tantrums, the physical abuse, the demands for me to spend spend spend on her.

Or maybe she looks sad because she missed a sale at Tiffany.

(For a moment there I almost felt better.)

When I blew out the candles on my cake last night, I wished that I would die sometime in the next year.

I'm a little cummer. Two drips max.

You're worth a million of him and you don't even have to try. That's the crazy part.

That stranger that I added to my FaceBook for gaming purposes that I have been rubbing one off to at least three times a week for the past couple of weeks?  Yea, he added me to a farming game and today I received a banana tree from him.

I got wet and thought about what I want to do to his banana.

I think I need therapy.

Some parents scare me when it comes to the lessons that they teach their kids.

I have a friend whose 8 year old son tried out for a sports team and didn't make the "A" team. Independent evaluators were brought in to watch the kids tryout so that no one could accuse the coach of favoritism. That alone is quite telling.

So my friend's son doesn't make the A team and she and her husband go into orbit.  They demand to see the qualifications of the evaluators, they want the details of the evaluation, they leave the sports program entirely and attempt to recruit the players from the town's team to punish the coach. They rant and rant and rant.  

So what lesson are they teaching their child? If you don't get what you want, kick and scream and if that doesn't work, blame others, quit and then try to sabotage the program. If I were a parent on the team, I would run when I saw these people. Shameful behavior and it seems to not be about the child, but about what the parents want.

Why not tell your young son that he did his best, learn from the evaluators feedback to improve the skills, and make it a positive experience for the child.  

You can learn a lot about people when you see how they handle different situations. This is a clear example of parenting gone wrong.

If I ever talked to him again I think it would be the death of me.

Just talking (really, just talking) with him is so taboo that it would have to remain a dirty little secret.  Which is stupid.  But I can't imagine how batshit insane I'd go if he started acting all aloof.  It would drive me over the edge and I wouldn't even have anyone to complain to about it.  

Nobody would know that I was talking with him.  And if they DID know - they'd never talk to ME ever again for being so stupid.

But I miss him.  I miss the stupid stuff.  I miss the dragged out and exhausted pillow talk.  I still think it would have worked if we hired a hooker to give him sex and then booted her out for the post-glow chat.  We were always good at that part.

He fucked it up.  He insulted my family and my character.  Repeatedly.  You can't forgive someone for that kind of shit.  I'm pretty sure he'd apologize willingly.  It's not enough to let me know that he wouldn't do it again.  Or that anyone he has said anything about me to wouldn't just think I'm some pathetic ass that won't leave that kid alone.  He'd never stand up to anyone and really tell them that he think's I'm awesome - that I'm one of the best friends he's ever had.

I'm not doing well, friend.  I'm tired, stressed and I really need someone to talk to.  It's unfortunate that it can't be you.  But there is no conceivable way to fix this now.  So fuck you.

Why is it that the people that are easy to find via Facebook, MySpace, or wherever are never the ones you really want to find.  I am dying to know what my first real crush is up to these days, or my second boyfriend (the first one I really loved), or the few guys that never quite happened.  But guess what, they are nowhere to be found, not in the entirety of the internet, nowhere.
It's truly f-ing obnoxious.

Sometimes when my husband puts his hand down my panties and he says oh you're so wet, it's really just pee.

i think my boss was the inspiration for voldemort.

I go to the couples therapist with my wife every week and lie my ass off.

"No I have never cheated...."

This can't be healthy. I can never tell the truth but it makes me feel guilty to lie. I think the better solution would be not to go to couples therapy.

I have a 29 year old g/f that pleases me sexually in almost every way (no anal)... However, I totally want to fuck this 57 year old that I recently met on CL Casual Encounters.

I'm 35 and have always had a fantasy about sleeping with a much older woman. I can't wait!!!

I wish i could say i love you cause i do and you know it very well but those 2 days we spend over there i hate it...my blood was boiling from hearing and seeing you 2 together kissing touching etc...the best time was the last day where us 3 got drunk and us 2 kept leaving to the bathroom and kissed and touching there and he never found out..the best was when he took pics of us 2 trying to kiss...how fucked up is that!!

I had sex with my brother's boyfriend,lover,partner whatever ya call it...truth is he likes it and tells me he loves me and that im the only woman in his life...i love/like him too and tell him just what he wants to hear but..the crappy thing is that i feel like shit cause i know im on the side and me and him wont ever be....