i fucking hate life.

Mark why did you lie to me by saying all the shit I wanted to hear just to appease me? All I ever asked was for you to be honest w/ me, despite if you would think it would hurt me or not. But I've heard nothing from you, not even a wave the last time you saw me? After everything that we talked about....you couldn't even wave, I thought we were closer then that. I guess I was the only one thinking that huh?

I'm heavy. Every time I look in the mirror I see a nauseating blob.

I told my boyfriend of three years today that I think he's sick and disgusting for finding me attractive. I have carried that secret sickness for a long time.

He laughed in my face.

I've never wanted to marry him more than I did today.

deleted

When will I ever learn that asking her what is wrong will only end up reopening the same wounds

I guess this was a secret only to me.

Yesterday a crazy flying bat showed up in the arena at a professional basketball game.  One of the NBA players ended up swatting it out of the air with his bare hands.

But don't worry.  Rabies won't be an issue.  As reported by the news services:

"A trainer emerged to squirt sanitizer on Ginobilil's hand."

Forget Louis Pasteur. Forget those rumored 30 shots with extra long needles applied directly into the abdomen.  Hand sanitizer now cures rabies!  Who knew!

It finally clicked as to why you're acting the way you are. You are depressed and I don't know how to help you. I love you and want to do anything for you, but lately I've felt nothing for you. You asked for a hug and a kiss today and I obliged, but wasn't excited or happy to do it as I used to be. My secret...I'm afraid that someday soon I'll want to leave you in your depressed state to pursue my own happiness with another that's been waiting for me.

You know how you sometimes read the horoscope of your ex?  C'mon, we all do it.  It sort of helps you pretend you know what's going on in his or her life.

Well my variation is that I read the horrific crime stories that come from the state where my ex lives.  Even if my ex isn't listed as the suspect, I'm pretty sure it summarizes the life he is leading.

When you called me tonight to ask how I was doing, happiness swelled from within me. I haven't felt that way for someone in years since my first love left me. You make me wish I wasn't tied down so I could feel loved again. I know we'd be amazing together.

Someone has a crush on me...
I wonder if it's the same person I'm crushing on?
hmm...

I drink too much.

I'm viewed as a bad Republican.  There are many who would like to have me thrown out of the GOP.  My crimes?  I don't dress in white sheets and attend "Tea Parties".  I don't think wife beaters should be in office. I don't think Republicans should bully and belittle people with an opposing point of view.  And mostly, you know what mostly makes me a bad Republican?  I respect women.

I am more comfortable around people with less than perfect looks.  I am no model. I feel the perfect people stare at me and wonder how I got invited. I never let on who I am. They never realize I am that guy. So they look at me and stick up their noses. Fine by me. I'm glad to hang out with the normal people. Much more fun.

I hope you're doing okay. I guess I have to send you a hug this way since I can't come over there and give you a real one. :/

I wish people understood what a bad person she is. I hear some rumors.  Maybe some people are beginning to see it.  But it's not enough.  I need the world to know what I have been dealing with.

I am trying to figure out why I just can't get you out of my head.  

When something funny happens, I want to share it with you.  When I have a tough day, I want to talk to you.  When I am out with others, I want you there. When I am home alone, I want to call you.  When I hear something that I know will interest you, I want to share that with you too.

I always felt comfortable when I was with you.  I let my guard down as much as I could under the circumstances and whenever I was with you and when we said goodbye, I was always thinking about the next time that I would see you.

And now...nothing.  I have nothing with you except a bond that I keep as a secret. I don't even know how you feel now as we can not talk with each other.  Is this the way it is supposed to be?  

Am I best to not try to reconnect with you at all?  Is that how you want it to be?

Perhaps if I knew what was going on in your head, I would know what to do with my thoughts of you.

i am in love with my room mate casey, he's so sexy

I think my husband has rabies.  

The reoccurring kind that comes back every few days.

I need S.A. (Starbucks Anonymous)

i couldn't make him come...
not only am a total slut, i'm a bad slut.


and i actually liked him. i'm dying for him to text me...

This soulmate can feel you...
I wonder if you feel it too?

your happy , thats the only reason im with you..
im suuper happy when your not around and then when you are im depressed and dont wanna be there with you.
but of course im gonna play along for as long as i can just to see you happy, your amazing and you deserve it.. so im gonna have to deal.
i dont even like you that much buut , whatever.

Kissing you is the highlight of my day

i find it to be one of the funniest things in the world that you went into a store, and bought tampons so you'd have something funny to do when I came to see you.
you a 22 year old boy.
bought tampons.
to make me laugh.

Despite being on birth control I get nervous every time my period is about to come. You're worth it though. I love you.

i should have known better than to start liking you more and more. the first time in years and i'm about to get fucking burned. i can't even be mad about it, or even heartbroken or upset because i just should have known better.

Everyone thinks I'm one of the happiest people ever, but I've secretly been depressed for a long time.

if there was ANYTHING i could do to be yours again...
i wouldn't even hesitate.

I've never been so scared in my life

I'm starting to think this was a bad idea...which sucks been I  really didn't think it would take away the opportunity for us to be friends. I have to stop making the same mistake.

I think I would love to be in an emotionally monogamous, but physically poly relationship.  It really seems to make the most sense.  I just want someone's heart and mind and enough of their body to keep me happy, but how great would it be if when I was feeling hot and they weren't around that I could go find some guy (or girl) to satisfy me or if they were horny and I wasn't there or able to satisfy them that they could find someone to get freaky with.
I couldn't handle cheating, but if it was purely sexual and out in the open that would be awesome.  Hell it could be hot hearing about their exploits and sharing mine.  Maybe some day I will find someone who feels the same way.  It can't hurt to hope.

Why is it so taboo for married couples to share partners? My husband is busy sometimes. He can't scratch my itch. I should be able to go to my friend next door and borrow her husband for an hour.

When my husband comes home later that night, I should be able to say how K. from next door helped us out.  To which my husband should respond, "Great. I owe him a beer."

No weirdness. No jealousy. We should share the love.

JB- Thank you for telling me last night that I looked really good. You'll never know that that was the high point of my evening. You'll never know how badly I needed to hear that. You hardly know me- In fact, it was after saying you've only met me once, a long time ago, that you blurted out that I looked great. That's why it meant so much to me- When my boyfriend or my best friend says I look nice, I always have this voice in the back of my head that reminds me that it's their job to tell me I look good, they have a vested interest in helping me feel attractive and positive. But when a virtual stranger says something... Someone who has no reason to prop me up or bullshit me... That's when I knew I really did just look that good.

I'll never say any of this to you... But really... THANK YOU.

Next time we're both at a show, if I can get away with it without looking weird, I'll buy you a drink. You're now my patron saint of intoxicated verbal diarrhea :-)

I sometimes think that you are going to wlk up to me and tell me you want to get back together and be more than friends... Id be so happy...

My wife masturbated yesterday. I went out with the kids. She stayed home alone. When I came back I noticed there was a candle and a book of matches on the bedside table. Could she be any more obvious? They weren't there before I left. I checked in her magical top drawer. Her vibrator is normally hidden under clothes on the left. Now it was more in the center. I unscrewed the back end where the batteries go.  There was water in the crack.  She had obviously just washed it. Busted. She has no time for sex with her husband, but finds time to masturbate. Honestly I find it a little creepy and perverted. I'm out with the kids and she's jamming plastic toys up her pussy.

I'm hoping that it was you all along and that you'll bring up what you're supposed to bring up the next time we see each other.We won't be alone , but you know that doesn't matter when ever we're sitting next to each other....everybody around just seem to disappear...to me at least.My instinct tells me that it was you those 3 nights.It has to be. I don't know how else to explain it.You're such a f***'n genius.I love that.

I had to tell my best friend i was gay because I didnt want him to know his mom was having an affair with me, he didnt even need convincing....

I love large women.

Not all large women.  Quite a few of them are disgusting, trashy and stupid.  But when I find one with large breasts, gorgeous eyes and a good head on her shoulders it's love.

I secretly believe that men that need women that "take care of themselves" are insecure and lousy in bed.  They need a woman that is always on top and does all the work and they need their friends to want to sleep with their women for her to be okay.

That's just plain stupid.

Ever had a woman who enjoys a nice night watching movies and makes snacks and gets beer for hockey night?  A woman whose bones don't jab you when you're banging the hell out of her?  A woman that can take a 9 inch dick without complaint?  A woman who only sees you in a room instead of looking around to see how man men are checking her out and giving the evil eye to anyone prettier than she is?

I have.  And I will always take all of that in a heartbeat over a woman that's too busy counting calories, working out and dressing to get the attention of every man in the world.

And if I ever had a friend that had a problem with it, I'd promptly knock some sense into them in the form of my fist to their face.

I recently had a conversation with the small town Chief Of Police. It was concerning some questionable acts by his department.

The most interesting part of the conversation came when I called him by his first name.  I could instantly feel him bristle.  It was so obvious it bothered him.  So a minute later I made a point of using his first name again.  This time he interrupted our talk.  He insisted that I not use his first name and that I must refer to him as Chief ********.

That makes me laugh.  Oh the vanity!  I'm talking to him about a potential crime and he is worried about his title.  My God, as if there is a law stating how I must address the Chief Of Police!!  Ha ha!

"What did they arrest you for?"

"I called the Police Chief by his first name!"

LOL!

It put everything in perspective for me.  They are just little boys in uniforms.  It's the same 10 year olds who used to play cops and robbers.  Only now they get to carry real guns and wear neatly pressed pants.

There is a certain maturity which implicitly needs to come along with leadership.  It is sorely lacking in people.  I think this is how problems arise.  Politicians, corrupt bankers, corporate greed-meisters.  They are all just little boys in suits pretending they are something more. We the public assume that their maturity of years parallels their inner emotional maturity.  We are wrong in this assumption.  There is no emotional maturity, no morale maturity, no intelligence maturity.

It was just an observation about the vanity of a Police Chief.  But in reality it is so much more.  An indictment of who we have become. I do not see how we as a world will ever survive.  

I'm passionately in love with my soul mate and she is married with two children.

I dreamed about you last night and I woke up feeling warm all over. I just wish it had been real...

I don't think you understand how tenderly I feel towards you now, though. I look at you now and all I see is this handsome, amazing man. I see you with such a curiosity now that I have never seen you or anyone else with before. You are the most fascinating creature I have ever seen in my life.


I love you.

What a bad combination.  You are dumb.  Sorry, no other way to say it.  And then you are stubborn.  Ug.  What a frightful union of attributes.  You come up with really bad ideas.  Then you refuse to listen to anyone else when they point out why it won't work.  Most people get frustrated with you.  Not me.  Not anymore. I used to get frustrated, but now I just laugh... and laugh and laugh.  It's actually very satisfying to watch you crash and burn over and over again.

His family will never be my family.

I feel nothing for my wife.  This has been such a long time coming. For our entire marriage, really even starting from the engagement, she has shown herself to be a self-centered person. All throughout this ordeal I beat myself up over why I stayed with her, why I worried about NOT having her in my life.

But something changed recently. It was a few weeks ago. My wife did another one of her stunts.  I am in no way a controlling person, but I specifically asked her not to do something.  She had an opportunity to cause trouble for another family - some petty squabble -  and I calmly and politely asked her not to.  I said to let it go. I said the wife over there is a good person. Maybe they have their own issues to deal with.  Don't drag them down with yours.

But my wife wouldn't let it go.  She charged right in and tried to cause a problem.

This is so typical of my wife on three fronts.  1) She never listens to me. 2) She lives for causing trouble. 3) Aterwards, she insists I told her to do it.

This third thing is always so baffling.  We have a conversation where I say, "Don't do it.  Don't do it." And two minutes latter she does it.  But unbelievably, 10 minutes after that, she tries to blame it on me saying I told her to do it.  Her lies are always so disappointing, but expected.

However, this time there was something else.  Our kids were present.  My wife caused this problem which could have easily caused our children great distress.  It could have caused great distress for the children in the other family too.  My wife obviously didn't care.  It mattered nothing to her that she could have emotionally scarred little innocent kids, even her own.

And for the first time ever, I stopped feeling anything for her at all.  I felt it coming too.  I stopped myself.  I tried to give her a way out.  I said, "Look, you need to take responsibility for what you just did.  You need to stop blaming me.  You need to see that you could have hurt your own kids."

She of course said, "But you told me to do it.  It's your fault."

Click.  The ratchet in my head turned and I no longer felt anything for my wife.

Now, for the past few weeks, I have been working on the end game. I am leaving her.  No husband and no children should have to deal with her antics and her dishonesty.

My one regret is that I put up with her for so long.

I can't believe you don't care how gross she looks on all those photos of you two at beaches all over the world. She doesn't care about her hair or her body and she already has the shape of a troll when you married. I have come to the conclusion that she is just a head giver.

You were in my dreams last night. We were sitting on a big rock overlooking the lake and we sat arm in arm for hours talking about everything. You held me close, you kept me warm and we both found comfort in being able to share our thoughts again with each other.

Unfortunately, it was all a dream.

i really dont like you that much . . .,
i just deal with you and try and have fun.
sometimes it works , sometimes it doesnt..
i cant see this lasting

i love you so much i think i could burst.
they all love me, and i know that...but you...
no one else would go to such lengths to make me happy. and i know, planning all the ridiculous things you said, that you were thinking "this will make her laugh out loud"
and it did.
i love all of you. You are 8 of the most special people i have ever met in my life, and seeing you all perform in such a ridiculously vulgar show was hysterical.
I love you specifically, and I think you know that. Of course you know that. Behind the facade of our hateful relationship, making fun of each other and declaring hate, we are two peas in a pod, so much in common. You knew this the first day, in the car, didn't you? You knew I was like you. You already had started to love me.

I love you. You keep me alive. One day, I'll tell you.

i thought i love you with all my heart but i have fallen for someone else.i dont know how to tell you cuz your such a good girl. i cheated on you the whole 2 in a half years we been together. im not a good girlfriend at all.

i love you with all of me but everytime i try to change for the better you come up with somethings esle im either not ready for or dont do enough of..is it that im not good enough or are you trying to run me away and be the good person in the break up?..How do you expect me to trust you completely when i have so much insecurity that you dont try to fix. you always think you know everything about me but you really just dont listen to what i have to say.

You said you'd get a job.  I'd be surprised if you do.  You said you will get that errand done which I bet will never happen.  You say you always clean up and the place is so messy I worry about the aparment manager coming inside and evicting us.

I always contemplate going back into the military just so I can get away from you, but I think about how much I will miss our son.  Who I worry won't get the proper care from you with his autism.

When we got so close to being in a car wreck where the car was about to hit my side, I slightly wish it had.  I wish something bad would happen to me just in the hopes that you will change.  

I had a dream about another guy who told me I was beautiful and said he would take care of me.  I wanted to go right back to bed to continue the dream...  Why do I have to be the one always taking care of you?

Next time I will marry for money, not love.  Life is easier with money.  Love will never pay the bills.

Sometime I wish he would die.  And then I could be free.

i know you don't love me. i know if i left it would make us both better.

DGB...it's HOT as HELL that you told me you had a dream about me the other night.  The fact that you are remotely interested in me after 4 years blows my mind.  What are you waiting for? come get me!!  Oh, I want you.....ever since the day I laid eyes on you, I was in awe!  Sexy and you're smart!  This could be a great match between you and I in REAL life....

So, since you're bullshitting.....I'm going to finish the middle part of your erotic dream about us that you deliberately left out, you fucking tease!  Yes people, I should write books....

It's goes something like this:  You fumbled with your phone which landed between my hot legs.  I didn't even look your direction before I said, "You better get that before I have to" and so your hand slowly reached over to my thighs, glacing at me as you went to grab your phone setting it aside.  That's when I said, "take your time" and that was all the hint you needed.  Your hand goes back to my thighs as you gently rub them, working your way to the center.  You can feel the heat and your nature rising.  You press your hands against my thighs spreading them further apart.  There's nothing under my navy trench, so you start using your fingers to explore my "feminine glory" as you called it.  Yes, my pussy is hot for you D.  My imagination runs wild!  You're working your way around front to back, side to side, and let your fingers slip inside.  It doesn't take much to get the juices flowing.  A few more times sliding your fingers in-n-out, oh....yeah, you know it and I know it too.  You're amazed!  I'm already so wet and you passionately kiss me as we lose ourselves in one another, while you continue to finger fuck me.  It feels soooo good.  I imagine what your dick feels like inside of me.  A burning hunger until we can't take any longer.  You switch it up and pull out your hard dick.  I rub it a couple of times, moving around your pre-cum, getting you ready to penetrate and I can't wait!  Now, I'm a good girl, so I suck you off a bit and then I reach back for your balls, keeping you strong like I like it.  I stop and let you put it in.  Tight at first, just working it slowly in it feels out of this world.  I'm fully open as you do a few pumps to move all the juices around, sliding in-n-out, teasing me with your dick.  Slapping it against my lips, rubbing just the outside around my clit.  Wanting you more, I'm shifting toward you, craving for you to put it back in, you fully penetrate me, hit it a little roughly, deep and hard.  I can take it, but oh my does it turn me on!  You make me moan out load.  Our bodies in sync, the rhythm is on beat.  Nobody is in our train car to interrupt, just you and I and the sounds of moaning and short breaths are too intense to take.  The motion of the train helps the intensity.  Our breathing is becoming more rapid and it's harder to catch a breath.  I can tell this has got you right where I want you and I want to make you cum, so I'm working you from the bottom, tightening my muscles around your dick so well you call my name.  And then you came, an explosion of heat that's like the best release and you let out a sigh.  You look me in my blue eyes, kiss me real quick before you go back to sitting next to me exhausted in bliss.  You never imagined it could be as good as it was.  But it was and you're breathless and speechelss.

We finished up just before the train conductor walked back through.  Yes, that's what I imagine what may have happened.  But I want to hear your version....or better yet, yes, let's get togeter and do a reinactment one day.  Sooner than later?  You're one sexy man and I sure would love to get my paws on you and keep you!!  I can't wait for the next dream story! But I'm ready for you in real life too.  Don't make me wait too much longer.  Otherwise, someone else may come along and scoop me up!

Kisses....J

Is it possible to love two people at once?

This feels awkward already.

But I really like just talking to you!! Can we please keep doing that??? Or is all going to be about pictures now?

You forgot.

I'm glad you had fun tonight.


*


My Halloween fucking sucked.

you know that high-pitched annoying noise that some people have on their phones? the ones they play to piss people off? i can only hear that in my right ear. i just turned my head to the left and i heard the noise. i looked back and it was gone. i looked to the right and i heard nothing. i looked the left and there it was again. next time i hear that sound, i'm going to close my right ear and see if i can still hear it.

If you want me so bad call me.  I shouldn't have to invite myself.  It doesn't have to be anything awkward, just ask me to come hang out, or go somewhere.  If I like you of course I will agree or if I can't I will make sure we work something out.

Life is too precious to spend it alone.

I hate that I didn't get to see you tonight. I want to get you alone so sooo badly...

Why do you insist on confusing the hell out of me man?  I have no idea what is going on in your head, yeah I KNOW you want her, but she's unavailable, not that you haven't made it perfectly clear that you would be willing anyway (so much respect lost for you there really), but I have no idea what you feel about me.  90% of the time I am pretty sure you only flirt with me out of guilt, meaning it would be rude not to include me, but I have been the ugly (even if I am not ugly, uglier would be more accurate) friend all my fucking life, so I am pretty used to that.  I think you may know I like you so you flirt with me to get whatever from me.  We do get along really well anyway so I am not sure why you have to act like that, it's more frustrating and painful than if you didn't flirt.

I guess what I am saying is stop flirting unless you mean it, sometimes it's just not nice.

I really want to like Halloween, I really really do, but to be honest, I haven't really been into it since probably the year I stopped trick-or-treating.  Even then it was always more about the candy than anything else.  The parties are lame, either the crappy church/school bob for apples and play lame games type or the typical American drunken bender.  I might like it more if I was more social and had a bigger group of friends, but I doubt it.  It just seems an antiquated holiday that has had all it's fun sucked out by safety and age restrictions.
I can hardly wait to move out of this country to one that hardly notices October 31st as being different than any other day.  Who needs the pressure to conform anyway?

This could be bad, really bad. I hope ur friendship is worth it.

i see those pictures of u and ur friends and i think of how i will never be in them

I love that on the days we can't talk I can hear you on here.

You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
I'm praying to god that you didn't forget.
You didn't forget. You didn't forget. You didn't forget. You didn't forget. You didn't forget.
Please... humor me. You didn't forget.

brad  is really kool he is my best friend but hes a horny gay thts the thing

I only met you last night, but I'm really excited because this is the most attention I've had from a guy in a year.

I really wish your friends weren't coming with us to the game tonight, and I wish I had taken you up on your offer to drive me.

I'm probably just reading too much into things.

deleted

Men send me pictures of their penises. I never ask. They offer. The first one had to pester me a few times, but now I love em all!

Married F 39

I never order seafood in a chinese restaurant. No way. I think you are putting your life in jeopardy.

Nice try.  You have however violated the rules of engagement.  Good luck with that.

You know, as mad as you made me and make me, as crazy as you drove me, as hard for me as it is to admit because of the way you treated me sometimes, I really, really loved you. I still wish you the best.

My wife embarrasses me. She is so "in your face" all the time. I think this is why people never invite her anywhere. I don't know what I was thinking when I married her.

I'm about to run again. I can feel it. Get ready; here it comes...

I'm sorry; it's an urge I just can't control.

this is why i don't do this. i'm a fucking basketcase if i don't hear from you. even though you've told me that you liked me, the phone calls and texts have dwindled down to nothing and i'm wondering if you even still like me. but i can't keep texting you because i have nothing to say except, "i really,really like you and hope you don't fuck me over."

i feel like sobbing right now.

I like to sing and dance with the radio while cleaning my house especially while vacuuming.

I love you so fucking much. Im so happy we know we will end up together. I just wish i could hold you more often than i can. Maybe one day you might "go to work" and i could hold you all night. Ahh pleasant thoughts

Story in the news today about a driver killing a grandmother with his car. He was allegedly out drinking all night before running into the woman.

Here's the thing though. A blood alcohol test was administered 5 and a half hours after the accident.

Last month another driver was in a similar accident, killing a young woman. His blood alcohol test was administered 7 hours after the accident.

Is this the normal amount of time to wait before giving a blood alcohol test? If so why? Wouldn't it serve the cause of justice more if the test was given as close to the time of the accident as possible? Isn't that what usually happens?  Why were these two particular drivers allowed to wait so long?

Oh... wait a second... there is a little more information... in both cases, the drivers were off duty cops...  never mind.

Neighbors are a bad idea.

There is a word, "ucalegon".  I never really understood why our forefathers needed such a word.  I thought it was merely a descriptive word of little use.  Clearly the idea behind ucalegon couldn't come up so often in conversation that it required its own word.

At least that's what I thought before moving to suburbia.

Now I get it.  Ucalegon isn't an unimportant adjective.  It's also a verb.  A call to action.  An uplifting cry of victory!  A necessary method for survival, not invoked often enough!

Ucalegon - a neighbor whose house is on fire.

***

"Ucalegon!  Ucalegon!", the more considerate residents cheered as they watched the annoying neighbor's house go up in smoke.

I want another baby.  I want to be a stay at home mom.

I just don't want to be a poor stay at home mom with no money to do the fun things that all SAHMs should be able to do (take the kids out to the beach/park on a regular basis, go shopping to get stuff for fun projects/help them learn, be able to afford a night out with my husband while the kids are at a sitter's, etc).

The truth is, if my husband made more money I would be able to love my family more.  I'm not a gold digger.  But when 40% of my brain is wrapped around how to bring in more income and how to cut more corners so we can afford the less finer things in life it doesn't leave much to be a good mom and wife.

When I shake hands with teenagers, I shake with my left hand... Why?

Because most teenagers masturbate, and there are a lot less lefty's in this world than righty's..

So the next time you shake someones hand, think about that...

I get bored with people. I can't spend too much time with somebody. Their ideas start to seem the same.

I end up wanting to run.

An American election story.

A woman put up Christmas decorations at her home. The Town wanted them removed.  Sounds mean right?  I like Christmas and all the decorations that come along with it.  Mean old Town!

But in this particular case, the woman put up $53,000 worth of decorations for a party she was going to be having for 100 guests.  At issue, the decorations were in the public right-of-way (the sidewalk) and needed to be moved back a little bit onto her lawn.

If it was me, I'd say, oh okay, sorry about that.  I'll move them toute suite and be done with it.

But not this woman.  She refused to move the decorations.  Not only that, she sued the Town, and on top of which,  she decided to run for Town Counsel.

I took her message to be that plebs like us don't understand.  She is rich.  In fact, she is Rich with a capital R.  She can afford to spend $53,000 on decorations.  She can afford to host a party for 100 people.  Laws for commoners don't apply to her.

She declared her candidacy and vowed to spent $100,000 of her own money on the election.  Prior to that, the most money ever spent on an election in the town was $923.

She was going to spend so much, I suppose, to show us she could.

See, rich people, they are better than you and me.  They don't have to abide by the laws.  They don't have to spend reasonable amounts.  Don't ya get it?  They are rich.  And what's the point of being rich if you don't always get your way?  So she spent $100,000 on her election.

***

Here are the election results:

1st place   770 votes 51%
2nd place   724 votes 48%
3rd place   15 votes 1%

She would be the one in 3rd place.  Honestly, I'm surprised she even got 15 votes.

Secret:  Sometimes America gets it right.

i make a point of never entering my email password when my husband is in the room. if ever he found out my password my life would be over.

I have a great gift; I can ALWAYS tell if a guy likes me. I can tell by the way he looks at me. Ladies , if you want to know if he wants you --LOOK AT HIS EYES! He cannot hide it.

Five of my guy friends like me. I know , but they don't know that I know.I plan on keeping it that way. ;)

Of the 5 , I only like one back. You better believe that I make sure not to look into his eyes for long! He makes me nervous and my heart starts beating rapidly.I sometimes sit or stand near him quietly and I don't know what to say, because the words that want to come out of my mouth are "I can't stop thinking about you,your eyes make me melt, you're so cute and smart and FUNNY and I want to kiss you so bad...just a kiss..." Arrghh...he's married.Dammit! :*{

Family to most people conjures up images of singing christmas carols by the fireplace.  Or sitting around an enormous thanksgiving table, with cousins cousins everywhere.  Back yard summer barbecues.  First communions.  High school graduation parties.  Birthday cards from grandma with $20 inside.

This was like an urban legend to me.  It was so far from reality.

To me, family meant brothers and sisters stealing my quarter when I was lucky enough to have one.  Getting punched in the head while I slept because my father was pissed at something after he came home drunk from the bar.  My mother forcing me to hide hamburger meat in my backpack while shopping (aka stealing) at the supermarket. No toothpaste.  No toilet paper. No clean clothes.  

I'll tell you a secret that bubbles up in my head now and then.  Most days I didn't wear underwear, because I didn't have any clean ones.  The clothes sat in a smelly heap in the basement. My mother was too lazy to do the wash.  But on any given Wednesday it was different.  Wednesday was gym day at my school.  I had no choice, I had to wear underwear or else the other kids would see I had nothing on when we got changed in the locker room.  So I did what I had to do. I'd go to the smelly heap of clothes in the basement and poke around for any used underwear that might pass as reasonable.  I was maybe 10 years old and I stood there in that cold damp moldy place sniffing at pee stained underwear belonging to me or my brothers, hoping to find one that I could tolerate wearing for a few hours.

Family?  Ha.  No joyous memories.  No fun flashbacks.  No cheerful photo ops.  Mother, father, brothers and sisters - we were just a bunch of beaten down people trying to survive under one roof while sharing the same filthy toilet seat.  That's what family means to me.

Wish I had a dollar for every time I thought about you after we broke up. Damn, I'd have a enough money for... maybe a coffee.... maybe.  Not a latte or anything.  Just a regular cup.  But that would at least be more upside than I ever got while dating you.

We started talking, we really hit it off. We went out a couple times. Every time we did go out it was fun, filled with conversation, no awkward moments. And I felt something, like that flip your stomach does in high school when you see your crush. And I know you felt it to. So why have you stopped talking to me?

As if the commercialization of Christmas isn' bad enough, I'm disgusted by what is happening to Halloween.  Unbelievably it has become a political holiday.  My kids go trick or treating and are bing handed lollipops attached to political brochures. Shameless.

Remember as a kid you'd hear urban legends about crazy old ladies putting razor blades in apples for Halloween, or lacing the candy corn with cyanide?  Well, to me, this is just as bad.

IT IS A HOLIDAY FOR KIDS YOU ASSSHOLES.  Get your poisonous political slogans out of my kid's candy bag!

I guess now we get to see very soon what kind of a man you are for real. I am hoping, as always, for the best.

So many things I can't say.  I want to have dirty sex sometimes with my husband, I want to try sex with a woman, I want to kiss my friend's breasts and I want her to touch me, I want passion, I want to be desired.

Every now and then I think about what we did and I smile to myself.  Your husband will never know.  My wife will never know.  But we know.  I will savor the feeling for the rest of my life.

California has earthquakes.  The East Coast has hurricanes. The middle of the country has tornadoes.

Arizona has dealy heat. Chicago has dealy cold.

Lousiana has floods.  The farm belt has droughts.

It seems like no matter where you go, there is always the potential of a looming natural disaster.

I just can't believe this is an accident.  Every place has an issue.  Pick a random location and there will be a threat.  Some of them are so bizarre.  Quiet rural Kansas is far away from the edge of continent and oceans.  It is free from terrible storms and mantle shifts.  Yet it has this almost surreal funnel of swirling wind that destroys homes.  Like come on.  You kidding me?  It's like something straight out of a science fiction book.  But it is real.  This can't be an accident.  Someone or something is testing us.

Scientists should study rubber duckies. For some unknown reason, rubber duckies make everyone smile.  You can have hard core politicians fighting in a room, or a prosecutor screaming at a murderer, or two strangers ready to come to blows over a parking space. Doesn't matter.  All those people have something in common. They all think happy thoughts when they see a rubber ducky.  Maybe it should be a law that everyone has to carry a rubber ducky with them at all times.  If trouble starts to brew, we all take out our rubber duckies.  Poof.  We all smile.  Problem gone.

You think I'm nuts?  Try it.  Picture a rubber ducky in your head....  see what I mean?

Fucking perverts. My 7 year old son wanted to be a certain cartoon character for Halloween.  So he goes to the computer and enters the character's name into a search engine. One of the links that comes back shows the cartoon character fucking Snow White. Nothing is left to the imagination. He is 7 you creeps. You made a 7 year old look at that perversion.  Do you assholes have to spoil everything!!!!!!!

I was raised by feminists, but I just want to be a housewife.