Valentine's Day can suck my unused clit.

i lied to my family i have no idea who i am i have created a holenew person other than me

I love you more than anyone else in the world. I will kill myself if you find out that I had sex with him. faaack.

I don't want to go tonight.
I don't want to go tonight.
I don't want to go tonight.

But I will. He will pressure me into sex. If I'm lucky I'll only have to give him a bj. Why am I in this position? How has it come to this where I must do what men say? This is what happens when you are a little overweight and not so pretty. I hate men. I hate me more.

I'm not starving myself. I'm fasting...indefinitely.

i would love to bump into u tonight,  but i doubt it now cuz my friends are frontin'  damn!

I don't have a bf. I'm buying myself a new vibrator for Valentine's day!!!!!!!

My God, leave the missionaries in Haiti alone.  What? They are a bunch of child pornographers who were kidnapping the kids for sex videos?  Get a life asshole Haitian Government.  The missionaries were in Haiti to help.  They found 30 starving kids.  They were moving them 50 miles away into better living quarters with food and water.  For this we put them in jail??

Don't give a dime to Haiti until they release these good hearted people with a full apology.

I love my boyfriend so much. I woke up this morning to his alarm going off - we have an iHome and he has his iPod set up so it wakes him up with most of the time death metal or very strange and unknown music - and "I can't live (if living is without you)" was playing...

It's the little things in life that mean so much. And they don't even know they're doing it, which makes it even more meaningful :)

It has been 30+ years since high school. We met again at a high school re-union not once seeing each other over all those years.  We never were in relationship back then just good friends, and at the re-union we talked and talked and talked.  Had such a good time we made arrangements to meet again. All in innocence there never was a word of anything else.
So I came home one weekend to see my parents.  We meet for lunch on Saturday and then spent the afternoon driving around talking about how things have changed,  this person and that person, etc.
Ended up at the Dam.  Stopped and took a walk across the top of the dam the ½ mile, or so, all the way over to the spillway. And then it just happened. We kissed, and kissed more, I got hard, she grinded against me. Next thing I knew she dropped her pants,  leaned over the spillway railing, and I fucked her from behind.  Both of us looking down stream at the view.  Pulled up our pants and walked back.
We made arrangements to meet again in a couple months.

thanks for fucking me over, m. when i think of being lonely and separated from my home & my love, i'll think of you and your selfless deeds.

Yes, I get it.  You love your finance SO MUCH!!!  You post it on Facebook all the time.  Yep, you SURE. DO. LOVE. HIM. SO. MUUUUCH.

Except for those other three guys you've been fucking.  And you swallow their cum, too.

You're pretty fucked up in the head.  And you got fat, too.

Alcohol gives me insomnia. I have dark rings around my eyes.

You know you there is an IGNORE button on facebook, right? I am so fucking tired of hearing that its weird that I sent you an invite, and how you accepted it, not to look rude. I ignore people all the time. Its not rude its practical. I am thinking of deleting every person who I know as a freind of a freind, when I am told "Yea, so and so said you sent them a FB invite, and thought it was weird. Why did you do that?" I will just delete the person who complained be it to my face or not and be done with it. If they call me rude, I will just ask if they got what they wanted.

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Dear wife, I was really wanting to talk tonight. I listened to you go on about the kids, work and all of the normal stuff that you talk about every day. When I asked, "what about us"?

You said "what the fuck"? as if there no longer is an "us"

Congratulations, for the first time in 18 years, you truly made me feel like there is almost zero chance for our future.

I actually think I might start looking again......

That line from When Harry Met Sally is so true. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I'm not sure we can be.
We met by accident, two celestial beings colliding into each other with an explosion, a big bang...and when fire and ash kissed they consumed me, leaving me with an insatiable hunger for him. I would never get enough. I will never get enough. I can never possess him, and he can never possess me. There is only the moments when our minds and bodies merge, but the moments are becoming fewer and more far between. I feel dead between them; I find myself waiting for him to hand out affection. There is a drought. His reserve is running dry: tank is on empty. I thought that maybe there would always be enough love for me from him, but it seems there isn't anymore. Maybe there never was. Maybe it was a flame, a passion: lust. I felt so deeply connected. At the beginning, I knew he felt it too. Now he is distant and I am broken. Neither of us can help it. He might be my soul mate, but life is getting in the way. Family. Friends. Work. Finishing school. Everything seems to come before me. I can't do this for very long, but I am waiting for change that may never come. My heart aches.

I just want you to be here for me when I need you...and you never are.

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I want to see him, even if it's only for a few minutes. It wouldn't have to go too far. I wouldn't want him to do anything that he would regret. I just want to look into his eyes and take his hands in mine and let them tell him exactly how I feel. Written words could never say all that I want to say or adequately describe all that is in my heart... My eyes wouldn't lie. They can't. I just want to be near him. If only he would give me the chance. It's killing me to have my hands tied behind my back right now. I'm tired of waiting. I wonder if he is too. I can't take much more of this. I'm trying as hard as I can, I know that he probably doesn't believe me because it's just not happening fast enough; tomorrow wouldn't be fast enough, but I wish that, in the meantime, I could prove myself to him somehow...

whenever friends would ask for my opinion regarding a crush on a guy I'd tell them to go for it, tell him how you feel, stop being such a scaredy-cat, just get it over with he might like you too! Here I am now, the scaredy-cat who sits there unable to speak as if her mouth is sewn shut. I know he knows how I feel, and yet I still haven't gotten it over with. The way I see it is that since he knows, why doesn't he talk to me about it? Automatically, I assume that he doesn't feel the same way. Why tell him that I think about him everyday? Why tell him that his eyes make me melt, his presence makes me weak, the sudden brush of his arm stops my heart. I'm afraid of rejection and losing him as a friend. This man could kill me with his touch! I could drop dead, and he wouldn't know it was because of him. On the plus side, he'd revive me and I'd get that kiss. =D

FUCK what everyone else thinks.
What do you think? What do YOU want?

there's a 4 year old getting raped. She goes home drugged and waking to find cuts bruises on her arms. she doesnt question it. Her mother asks what she did at day care and she forgets. She blocks it hoping to never remember. It works. She forgets....she goes her whole adolecent life forgetting everything that ever killed a part of her. She thinks it works and doesnt realize how its going to affect her relationships in 15 years. She cries not realizing why? That four year old was killed the day her mother told the police and they laughed in her face. She tried and didnt suceed.

there's an 8 year old watching her mother and father fight. Kick push pull....scream. As she curls up in the corner of the couch crying and screaming to block out the fight suddenly her mother grabs her father's things and throws them out for everyone to see. As he bends over to pick up his stuff that eight year old's spirit runs out the door and leaves never to be found. She once again escapes as a part of her blocks it out.

there's a 10 year old watching her mother yell at her because of her appearance. Too much is never enough. The 10 year old has never been perfect.

there's a 12 year old being told by her mother that her father cheated on her mother multiple times. She looses all respect for her father and never fully recovers. She hates her father. No respect and no shame.

there's a 14 year old being told 160 pounds is too fat. Is disghusting and no one will ever want her. Her mother raids her room and tears every bit of happiness off her wall because of THREE POUNDS. The 14 year old eats to control some aspect of her life.

there's a 15 year old smoking marijuana everyday and she feels a piece of herself put to rest. shes escaped it again.

there's a 16 year old having a christmas at denny's with her sisters because her mother was too upset with her father to get ready. The parents sit at home, and her mother is in the restroom curling her hair for no apparent reason. The mother cries on the bathroom floor and knows why. Her father sits numbly watching a television show about something he's already learned in a book he's read. He cries and knows why. As their daughters sit at denny's smiling to hide the tears. The 16 year old has left a piece of her at the denny's on blanco street. She still sits there crying.

the same 16 year old involves herself in a relationship that only makes her hate herself more. She can't say yes but cant say no. She pretends to be happy and gets taken advantage of. She hides

there's a 17 year old steering herself in a relationship that makes her happpy. She feels on top of the world. Then suddenly she watches her lover walk off with someone else. Yet every weekend he's all over her. She confused and hates him for it. but She continues to tempt herself with him.

at 18 she drinks and smoked every night. Hoping to block every night she drove by his house and saw someother girls car in his drive way. She drinks to forget every heartbeat that skipped when he would hold her. She drinks to forget his smell. His hair. His laugh.....the 18 year old will always be in love.


this 19 year old finds herself happy. Plenty of friends. Loved, yet she's been blocking the monster since she saw her child die. The monster escapes and is slowly destroying every relationship she has. She takes medication to smile yet hates herself for being on medication. She still finds herself in that 8 year old. In that 4 year old. in that 16 year old. In taht 14 year old. She hates herself and knows why....



I've had a good run, but i can't run anymore.
please God just get me through this.

im giving up.

I don't know that I've ever had a best friend.

So I like you. We understand each other really well and talk a lot. We hooked up once.. I didn't want it to get too out of control so I didn't sleep with you. Now I kinda wish I did because you suddenly stopped talking to me anyways.. yet in class we still joke around to the extent everyone is curious if we're dating. WTF happened? I honestly just miss my best guy friend at school.

Come back.

Thanks to Phil for responding to my email. It seriously lifted my spirits.

Sometimes I feel like we were never as good of friends as I make it out to be. But no one really knows. At the same time, though, I really loved you. I know we never hung out MUCH outside of school, but you were always there for me, especially when I needed everyone's help when I broke my leg. In fact, you probably there for me more than anyone besides my own family.
I love you, Kate, no matter how close we were or were not. You're birthday is coming up on the 14th, and you would have been 18. It's been a while since I've just cried about you. In fact, I usually only do it when I'm drunk and you get brought up.
And even though I drink, and some people would say I shouldn't if I really loved you, I don't feel bad, because I'm not doing what he did. I'm not driving. Nor is anyone else around me.
You mean so much to me and not a day goes by without you in my thoughts. I love you so much.

To anyone still reading this:
Kate was a very good friend of mine. She was killed by a drunk driver on November 23rd, 2008. If you go out and drink, please, DO NOT drive. You could hurt so many people besides yourself.

i love him i do i can never have him for my own BUT everytime he calls me i go running i can't stop God help me i love him so But he doesn't want to know about feeling. i've done this to myself!!! i've given him my power and he knows it.

What?  Me break the law?  Never...

My husband is in the Marine Corp. He gets deployed in a little over a year--its all I can think about. I already miss him. I dont want him to go, he is fighting for my freedom, my freedom to be at home missing and worrying about him. I'm so scared to have our children by myself while he is gone. I just want God to keep him safe, I love him so much. I cant go on if something happens to him. He is my hero, my best friend and my soul mate. I love him so much, please God I want you to keep him safe.

You go ahead and be straight. Have a child, engaged. With a man. So you say to me, a woman. Oh, you're so fickle it kills me. Two monts after we break up and you're over me already. How devastating that is. But you and your rubbing it in have made me feel nothing for you. I've lost all respect for you, my darling. You may say you're happy and you'll forget me and have a life with him. But at least I'll know I cared. That I care. Which makes me better than you whether I'm depressed or not. I wonder if he feels as right for you as you once claimed I, a woman did. Secret? You were my first love and you have succeeded in crushing me completely. And I wish I could hate you. But I don't. And I never will. And I hate you more for that.

  Alright, I've already posted this, but I've made my decision what I'm going to do about it! I know it's a longshot, but damn it to hell if I'm ever going to know true happiness somewhere, somehow, someway in my life it's either going to be with you or the person I should have been with by social standard expectation instead.(or most likely not now that my eyes are open to the reality of who he really is until proven otherwise, this is dependant on his bi-polar mood of the day)

When the time's appropriate, I'll let ya know; I'm leaving from here, possibly for good. The knowledge as a favor to you if you will. The day is drawing nearer, it is going to happen anyway you put it. It's just how the fate of things are, and you both know it to be so. Mainly because of what I chose to make of myself from choices as a child until now. So I'll leave it to you to make a choice. You can lose yourself the one who was meant to be there and your one guaranteed-for-life support system beam, or do something about it then. I'll leave you the choice.

We're all human, and I failed to realize that from all the hurt and abuse I've been through in the past, but it's no reason to self-pity either. Just gotta pick up the bags and move on, as they say.
                                               4/4/10.
Happy Birthday btw.
-----------------------------------------------------------

  Jamie, I love you and I miss you more than you'll ever know. You were and still are the best thing to have ever come into my life, period. I just don't understand, why was it then that you said repeatedly and left me with so much evidence(cards, letters, etc) that you felt the same and thought me to be the very best, you went with that witch of a woman Michelle. SHE KNEW you were the one for me and had repeated to me MULTIPLE TIMES HOW SHE WISHED TO WISK YOU AWAY, and you fell for it. It was my error to not look past that she was mentally disabled in more ways than the schools could ever diagnose. How I wish I was not so naive to the bullshit that she and the rest of them got you snagged in. I just don't understand how nor why, especially after Molina how you could fall for that. My life has been such shit here since,more so than it ever has been before then, and I'm not happy in most senses of the word. I thought I was multiple times and I do feel some form of contentness being that my immediate needs are met, but that's as far as it goes. I'm incomplete without you as my stability rock. It's like I'm complete as a social and educated person, but there's a core peice of myself that will be forever gone without you; and it's not just the lose of innocence, but much more. If we ever do see one another in person again, I can elaborate more. But There will be no other in my life, I understand that, I really do.

Maybe it's all just a farce, this thing we call love? What I do know is that there is not a day that I don't think about you and I yearn for a time when we could be together again, maybe death will do it for me...As vain as I might sound I'm not so fixated with the past as much as I am how fucked up things have become in the present because of the preliminary changes. I know things were never meant to be this fucked up but I feel in my quest to appease everyone else my own happyness fell by wayside. I just don't know, I know my principles are not fucked up as many more people I witness live by them with no consequence, but when I'm attached to anything by name, touch or otherwise it's just not meant to be. I just wish every single day I called you when I felt I should have, maybe this whole fiasco would have been prevented from the word go. So the last words from me are as follows;

Im sorry from the very depths of my soul that I never said what was bothering me the last time we were together before this erupted. I knew you sensed it and I was afraid to mention it, so I guess I got what I deserved when you went with the mongol. Atleast she has a family to back her up in times of need. Relevance to why I mention this is because at the time my mother had terrified me more than you could have imagined; she put the fear of god in me when she had visited for my birthday and made it her business to continually harass me over the phone , and I know that's not normal. That with knowing how much of a loving relationship you have with your own mother, that was something I never EVER wanted to tarnish at ANY cost. So I guess I bit it hard then, eh?

I'm truly sorry that I never called that last week either, I knew something was up and even had a de-ja-vu the last time we were together of you and the whore with one another and that combined with the last reason I was to terrified to confront it, and I just wanted to believe what you said about your father being ill and having to return to CA to dare look deeper within things. I should have mentioned it then. but again where things are what difference would it make?

And yes, although by the book and all rights I should not be the one pouring my heart and soul out here like this, I do want to apologize for being as furious as I was. I do feel it was justified for me to be that way as much as it was for that one bit of retaliatory ego of ID you had at your place, that although was irrelevant to the situation (Brian as much as a butt he can be DID witness EVERYTHING and you know it) I felt by bowing to that I would have had some form of relief from this pressure, but obviously that's not the case. Just a quick F.Y.I., You made me this way by doing what you have done, it wasn't no change from my personality from the begining as much as it was the response that the love of my life has just been taken for a fool by a retard.(Anyone else reading I kid you not!) Everything here I was not able to put into words at the time though and it's the regret of my life. I need you more than you could ever imagine, I really do.

One last thing on my own personal note is that although I didn't want it, you didn't want it and I still can't even think of the notion without cringing, I regret taking Plan B immediately after our last time. I still don't know to this day if it was or not something but bleeding for a month straight would make one think that it was, even after "conception". I was freaked out at the notion of ever having kids by my mother when she was around last and she had accused me of looking to harm my brother when I had no idea of what was going on at that moment, which is something I would never do in a million years and it was then that vowed to myself that I would never become that paranoid-born again-absenteeist-helicopter parent that my mom has become. With life in perspective now I would have preffered to have had the kid and gave it up for adoption for the sake of having a living legacy and something more than pathetic cards and love letters to rely on. Weirdly enough sure as shit my life would have been somewhat easier than it is now, being that it's quite literally solely me against the world at this point. Also with the knowledge that I will never allow myself to get pregnant again is why I mention this as well; I would never want kids with anyone else but you. I know personally I would never love them as much because they're not from the one true love of my life.

Well, maybe I'm just venting here, and again I'm sorry I just could't go against my principles since you've made it orchestrated to be this way now. I've bawled my eyes out too many times for too many years over what would have, could have and should have been. Maybe in the next life, who knows? I just really needed that slice of happyness in this life, ya know? I know I'll never be happy, for just as you said; I'd be a perfect mate for ANYONE; but I know that I'll never have a perfect mate for me, you were the one. If that was really the case why isn't it so now? Just know that I'm here, IF you'd want me to be; you know what to do......

Forever always, Danielle

i think tomorrow i am just going to disappear...

i believe that i have been going through a bit of a depression. i feel like no one really is there. i'm for sure not like suicidal or anything. there is only one person that i would like to tell, but i really don't want to seem vulnerable in his eyes. i'm supposed to be the strong one.

I hope we meet there one day and see if the flames ever really went out.

i don't think anyone ever gets out.
maybe i can go underground.

I guess tonight I let it hit me I'm in love with you and you don't love me back.

I'm too good for you suckers in my small town.

No matter what I say or do...

Sexual education in schools work. I cannot fantasize about havibg sex without adding the part in which we stop to put on the condom. Sure, women are more about building a whole story but still, damn, no fantasies and definitelu no getting off if I try to skip the condom bit.

i get the feeling you're politely pushing me out of your life. i'd be ok with it if you were to simply tell me to go to hell. but no, you'll wait until after you get what you need from me and then completely abandon me. and of course, i'll play along like the sappy sucker i've always been. i don't expect anything from you--except honesty. just be frank and tell me that you don't want my friendship. even if it hurts, it's so much better than being led on. you have no idea how much you're hurting me right now.

I hate women. They have vaginas. I have a penis. I have become so used to thinking that women don't like sex that the more beautifual a woman is, the more profound my feeling of rejection is. God I wish girls like sex. This is killing me.

I saw the breakdown in the evals I got. Overall, they weren't that good with the exception of one evaluator who ranked me highest on all the categories except one. This is the same person who's from my hometown and related to someone I attended school with. I'll bet if I didn't have this additional connection to him, I would have gotten mediocre evals from him too. I ended up getting an A overall, which is a happy ending, but I have to wonder if I actually deserved a B. Thank you to him for such a good eval though.

I'm planning a party for our organization. I sent out an email invite to the group 2 days ago. No one has responded. I'm pretty sure I'm singlehandedly driving the group into the ground. I'll bet all the faculty that I so hoped to impress despise me now. The other officers in the group are probably pissed too, and the prospective members probably think I'm a bitch. I've never felt like such a failure until now.

I wish I had married a more playful woman. I married someone who is always talking official business and logistics. When will we meet. Where will we meet. How long we will stay. What is the schedule for tomorrow. Should we bring umbrellas.

Oh how exciting to talk about the need for an unbrella!

Moan.

My marriage feels more like a boring seminar than something fun and exciting. I wish my wife would kick back and play hooky sometimes from her rigorous officious life.  I want to suggest we have sex in the backyard after the kids go to bed. But I know what she would say, "I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible. I must get up early for a dental appointment..."

Dental appointment or sex in the backyard?  My wife and I make very different choices in life.

Everything about her amazes me to no extent. She makes me feel special. She does things to me nobody else can, without even touching me. She is my best friend. She doesn't even care.    21/F

You finally talked to me, but I don't know if that's a good thing or not. You flirted up a storm, and even got me to admit that I still liked you. That was three days ago, and I have yet to hear from you.

Did you just do that to hurt me even more? I get it; I scewed up and hurt you. But I apologized, and you said you forgave me. How much longer are you going to punish me?

The worst part is that I was finally starting to get over you and move on. Now you come waltzing back into my life, and I'm right back to where I started.

Damn, I am smitten with this boy.

   You are making a huge mistake. Epic! For all the years you claim to have loved me, you are fucking up our opportunity. It's now. Grab the brass ring!
   Instead you're going to let the fear eat you up again. Maybe you are destined to be alone...as much as I am destined to be without you.
   So, not only does he have me, and the money,  he has the set of balls you never grew.
    Maybe I should just close the door to the life you can't man up to. Wouldn't that be kinder? Either I love you more than you deserve or less. I don't know which. Yet.

i really wished my neighbors would disappear... i have never wished such harm on people.. but I hate them with an EXTREME passion... they are such inconsiderate bastards and I wish they would lose their legs or something... i hate those people!!! God help me with this hate please :O(

how many times can i ask him to show me he loves me?? buy me some roses or a card... thats all i ask for.. why must you make it so effin difficult AHOLE???

On nights like this, when I'm home alone, I wish that he would just call me.

It's taking quite a bit of effort to not become a slut.

-_-

I hope I'm gone by Valentine's Day. Even if I spend it alone, at least it will be honest.

So I was weak again today. Couldn't get myself to NOT eat. God, I'm such a fatass. Will have to try again tomorrow.

if i want you.. and you want me.. then why is this so complicated ?

When I was a child, I used to worry that reality was a dream and my dreams were reality. Maybe I was over imaginative or just a weird kid, who knows.
But lately, I get that feeling again. I'm kind of worried that I've lost my mind.

Sometimes knowing that I will more than likely never be thin depresses me, but at least I'm snuggly.

Im getting an IUD (birth control) next tuesday. It can last up to 10 years. I told my boyfriend of 5 years, that I only wanted to wait a year or so tell we have children. I blamed it on, I just bought a house and we want to do some work on it, so we need the money and time. I really want to wait at least 5 or more. He would be exstatic if I told him I was pregnant today. He wanted kids before he was 25, he's 23 now. If I told him the truth he would be angry.

For a year or so, I thought I was so ready. I wanted to get pregnant, I stopped my birth control. Now I dont even know if I want kids. I know its selfish to make this decision on my own. But I am trying my best to stay with him. I dont know why I fell in love, but I did. A year ago I still loved him so much, even after he beat me and gave me numerous black eyes. But now I'm doing all I can to not leave him.

Well, there IS a block command on fb. Go on, I dare you. I know I can't do it.

Reading this is going to seriously piss you off.

I'm slated to win every single time in every single instance. I always get what I want simply because I always have the golden opportunity appear at the right time.

My life is charmed, and I am beautifully lucky.

Don't get me wrong, bad things happen to me too... but then something comes along a day later to fix the bad thing and put me over the top.

Sorry your not me. Enjoy your life!

I don't want children even though I work with them, I want to marry someone so I can be looked after because I can't look after myself.

I am having sexual fantasies about a recently dead man. How desperate, lonely and sick am I?

I believe there will be a zombie apocalypse.

i used to love you .. i even wrote about it here about five years ago, i was madly in love with you - something happened . I CHANGED MY MIND, I DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE and now you're available and ready for marriage? when you couldn't even remain faithful for the two months we were together? are you kidding me?

God has someone in store for me - when I'm married with kids - I won't have to explain it to you - you'll see that you can't treat a good girl bad and expect her to be there when your other bad girls are done with you - there's someone for all the good people out there - OTHER GOOD PEOPLE

scumbags should stick to marrying bitches only - leave innocent girls out of your twisted lives

sorry s.o.k. it just hit me, I miss you dearly but wouldn't never SETTLE like that

I really wish I can win lotto so i don't have to keep trying to make it happen with my biz. i wish I didn't have to try to prove myself to everyone. I wish I knew if I really want to have children or not. I wish, I wish, I wish. Damn! when did I started to wish so many stupid things!!!!

I wish I could hate you. I don't want you to be with him. So much for being a lesbian, huh? Liar.

My husband knew I was the one he wanted to marry because the first night we spent sleeping next to each other...I farted in my sleep.

Here's a secret that a LOT of young people (especially women/girls) DON'T understand.  All of your insecurities/shortcomings are noticed.  But they don't matter at all unless the people in your life are either (a) Fucked up or (b) Hate you for some other reason.

Do you really think your former boyfriend/best friend thought you were an ugly, fat bitch when they liked you?  No.  If you act ugly, people see you as ugly.

(for the record, there are people in your life that you will WANT to see you as ugly)

Or they're just mentally unstable fucktards that go around judging everyone because their parents probably got wasted a lot and beat them when they were little.  There's nothing you can do for these people, and you don't want them around anyway.

R.

I just wish you'd be more respectful of your neighbors.

You wait about 5-10 minutes every time, like clockwork, once I get home and shut my door.

Then without fail, you sound like a tractor next door.  WTF is all that banging???  Are you taking a running head start into the wall in your closet?

Is it your skull that you're bashing against the wall?  

I don't know, man, I guess you're just bored or something.  How much "home repair," could really be going on over there anyway?  Are you banging Bob the Builder????

Seriously, you sound like a herd of elephants over there.  

At least I never have to worry about you sneaking up on me... EVER.

This sucks rocks.  I'm a bigger help to my significant other by not being her significant other.  :(

I was listening, thinking about you... I looked up and saw a shooting star during a profound moment in thought.
I wished it on you.

"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest..."

I can sense his smile, feel his stare. I walk away, and I feel his eyes follow. Alas, I can't have him so I continue towards the exit. I don't look back because I fear he'll see what he really means to me. Being just friends hurts, but at least I have that.

your words capture me... i wish you would capture me...

I love you and I miss you so much. Please don't hurt me; you have enough of me that you really could....

I'm going to drink tonight and try and forget about this mess. I miss you, but if you don't think I'm worth the effort, then I don't need you. I don't need this stress. You're not going to get what you think you're going to get and I can't wait to make your life even shittier. Fuck off.

What the hell is this??? You come in and out of my life so randomly and EVERY FUCKING TIME I still just want to be with you. It drives me crazy because you always seem interested and never pursue anything with me. There's only been one time we've ever come close to anything, but I was too damn worried about getting carried away. Just...DO SOMETHING. Make me feel loved, PLEASE!!! make me feel a little less disgusting and used and unhappy and unwanted. I'm SICK AND TIRED of being the single friend out of all of my friends. I can never get an actual boyfriend. I get guys who just want someone to fuck and then I just tease them and nothing happens. And then I'm stuck feeling like the scum of the earth all because NO ONE WANTS ME. Make me fell important before I end up alone forever. Please.

I am sick and fucking tired of hearing all you skinny bitches complain about feeling "fat". I'm a big(ish) girl and guys don't fucking care. I'm beautiful for being who I am, not trying to force myself to look like some Hollywood archetype, and that's what attracts them. Try having some self-confidence for once, you twiggy little fucks.

F/19

Wow thanks for adding fb stalking to the mix.  You make me loathe you even more.

I so want to update my "about me" on facebook, but I can't say what I really want to say for fear of casting myself as emo or mentally unstable. So, here are some things I wanted to put down but couldn't bring myself to submit.

1. I miss my giggly self.
2. I'm slowly realizing how unapproachable I am.
3. I wish I wasn't scared of talking to groups of my peers.
4. Emotionally stunted.

I think I'm still in love with a girl I haven't talked to in over a year. But when I ask myself what I would do if she walked up to me out of nowhere like she does in my dreams and apologized.. I have to be honest and I would tell her to fuck off because no one deserves what she did to me... especially a friend.

Used to be... If I was drinking and didn't want to embarass myself I would just stay home... But NOWWWWW there is facebook...

I am such an idiot.

During most of my life, I kept cool most of the time, but when I got really, really frustrated, I had no problem venting it all to my mom or my friends who would likely relate. Nowadays, I get so stressed that I just shut down. I can't vent to anybody, and I know that just makes it worse. I've made it this far; things really shouldn't be this bad now. I miss being chipper.

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I wish someone would just tell me straight up that I'm going to be a shitty doctor so that I can quit being optimistic that I'll turn out ok. That thought runs through my head 1/3 of the time. Another 1/3 of the time I think things will be ok. The last 1/3 you can replace "doctor" with "person."

I thoroughly enjoy that long. Loud fart in the morning. Best sound ever! If only I were a man to be able to brag about it without being seen as a disgusting woman.

I am really happy for once. I had a really great day, and I actually am proud of myself for once. I just am afraid its not going to last very long......

I wish I could have been a boy.

i finally watched the notebook last night and cried like a baby the whole way through.

after it was all over and i was sitting there all red eyed and feeling deeply sorry for myself because i am so lonely and have no relationship in my life and i'm almost 40 and there's no hope for me ever finding true love and so on and so on........

and then i realized that even though i don't have an amazing love in my life, i'm also not stuck in a shitty relationship that's going nowhere like i have been 4 times in my life before. that i'm not trying my hardest to convince myself and everyone else that i'm happy, when i'm not.

that there's still hope!

and i got off the sofa and blew my stuffy nose, and made a promise to my teary-eyed reflection that i will never, ever settle for another relationship like that again.

and i went to sleep in my own bed, in my own apartment and slept like a baby.

I prefer the pseudo french spelling of "pussie".

I have to laugh sometimes when a single parent gets offended because a potential love interest doesn't want to get involved with someone with kids, or, better yet, if they do find someone, they let them have it with both barrels with the "My kids come first, and if you don't understand, and you don't like it..." and then that person gets sick of it and bails.

Yes, your kids are important to you. We get that. However, there are things that YOU need to understand:

People have their choice of whom they want to date, and no one owes you a love life or a do-over for a failed relationship that produced children. If you are grown enough to bring another human being into the world, then you should be grown enough to realize at least this. There aren't exactly people lining up around to block eager to take on the added responsibility (that's not even theirs!) in addition to trying to forge a relationship.

So, if someone that you meet isn't interested, be gracious and accept it, and move on. And if you do find someone that's willing to accept your situation, be respectful and treat that person as a partner, not just as a wallet or a babysitter for your offspring. It takes some brass balls for someone to insist that their partner always come second, third, or damn dead last while they themselves expect to be first.

I miss the good ol' days before caller ID; back when I could prank call the shit out of everybody and they never guessed who it was. Those were some happy times.

I know how the banking system works. It's bizarre, evil, reckless, and will continue to ruin peoples lives for years to come.

To put it in short, the longer we print our own money, the longer we will be traveling into unspeakable debt. It's impossible for our nation to be completely debt free, IMPOSSIBLE. Lets say if we were to get our shit together and actually find a way to have 0 debt, there would not be one dollar in circulation. For without debt, there is no money because it's created OUT OF DEBT. Messed up, and to make it worse, there would be no capital left to pay off the interest rates. Interest rates are basically classified as "debt to the future".

So wait, what? Let me explain this further:

Before I go any further, let me explain what "Modern Money Mechanics" is. It's basically a guideline created by the U.S Fed that states various banking practices. There is an emphasis on a technique known as "Fractional Reserve Banking", and it basically states that about 9 times any deposit can literally be created out of thin air.

Let's say you save up $100,000. You take it to the bank and have it deposited into your account. Under Modern Money Mechanics, 10% of your deposit will be held in reserve, and the other 90% is considered an "excessive" reserve and can be used to become the basis for new loans.

So, someone comes to the bank, Requests a loan of say. $50,000. Now it would be logical to assume that that money would be taken out against that 90%. However, this is untrue, as that money will simply be created out of thin air, on top of the $90,000. It is estimated that almost $900,000 can simply be "created" from the original $100,000.

Now imagine how fast this adds up when you factor in government loans in the billions. And you wonder why we are in so much debt?

Money that you borrow from the bank isn't theirs. They aren't putting physical money on the line when loaning to you. The simply just create it out of nothing. This is an illegitimate form of consideration. Is it illegal? Yes, but you'd be hard pressed to win a court case. Just ask the bank to provide you with proof of their loss, they won't send anything - because they can't.

The Federal bank screws this country. Back when Andrew Jackson was president in 1829, He demolished the fed and what happened? The U.S became debt free. Amazing. What has happened since they reinstated the fed? Mad inflation, hugh debt, we know the problem.

I also find it interesting  that the two presidents who tried to implement a new currency (J.F Kennedy and Lincoln) were both assassinated. As long as a select few are getting rich off this, it will never change. All opposition will be assassinated. It's a sad fact, and a fact that we will probably never change....people usually just don't give a shit.

It's really, really upsetting when you see someone from your past that you built up to mean so much in your mind...and they look like some crack-junkie.

I am still in love with her. 14 years, one wife, two kids, two houses and 2 dogs since we broke up, and I still think of her every single day. She has since found God, a husband and has had two kids of her own. Yet, I know she still thinks of me every day as well.

The sad thing is that I had it all right there in front of me. She adored me, loved me, practically worshipped me, and then I went and broke her heart. And then I broke it again. When I did it the third or fourth time, she finally left. I don't blame her, but I kick myself everyday for letting her get away.

If you have true love, don't fuck it up like I did. Protect it and cherish it. Otherwise, you may someday find yourself like me, married to a spouse that you admire but do not love, staying in a marriage for the sake of two wonderful kids, longing for the true love that you once had and spending several moments every single day with the cruelest of human emotions....regret.

I swear, my life is like a Shakespeare tragedy.

I wish that I could just push fast forward and skip to the good part. The part that makes sense. The part with him in it. And if that part lasts forever that'll be fine by me...

I am not offering you sex any more if you couldn't even find a reason to say you enjoyed it last night. I'm waiting on you to make the first move. Until then, we're not doing anything.


And you'll have to make it clear that you want it, too.

We aren't broke...we are check to check.  We are in so much debt and the collectors are calling.  I've always had excellent credit but now its just all so overwhelming.  I am so mad at myself and the credit card companies for giving me so much credit.  

Is it really so bad to not pay?  Everyone else seems to get away with it...short sales, foreclosures.  In the grand scheme, will it really matter?  

Guess I am going to see if from the other side.  Wish me luck!

I hate my life.
I used to be happy. I used to write, to play to act.
What am I now?
I'm lost.....

I live in a shell, and because of that, I'm becoming a shell of a person.
I never thought I'd get here.

the reason i'm so mad is because when i try to get off, i can only think about you, but when i think about you i get upset. thanks for temporarily making my sex life suck. dick.